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I got kicked til I Cried

by Deborah Cruz

Seems my holiday spirit has not yet caught up with my Mommy Holiday need to be in the spirit. My brain knows that I want to want to enjoy the holidays, but for some reason..my heart’s just not in it.

First, I blamed it on  being to busy to enjoy the season with all the rehearsal’s and the productions and just the hectic craziness that is the holidays. Then last Thursday,when I thought I was in the home stretch..wouldn’t you know that something else came up.

Thursday, I picked my 5 year old up from school, a seeming innocuous event.As we are driving home and I start my routine of inquiring about her day, I am informed that her teacher , who previously made her the star of the classroom version of “What not to wear” and I’ve spoken to about her inappropriate behavior, has stricken once again.

Bella begins to recount a conversation that she had with her teacher. It went a little something like this; said teacher was speaking to Bella’s friend who had been on vacation and had gotten sick.The teacher was telling the student that she has missed a lot of school.Bella was standing within earshot, and so the teacher decided to tell Bella ( in front of the other children) “You’ve missed a lot of school too, Bella!” To which my 5 year old said, “I had the Nutcracker last week.” Now let me explain this, Bella missed Monday and Tuesday of last week due to incliment weather and impassable roads but Friday, she had an excused absence for her performance in the Nutcracker. The very same Nutcracker that she had been waiting to be a part of for 3 years, the same one she auditioned for in September, and the very same one that she has been rehearsing for 3 days a week for 4 months (Did I mention she is only 5?) This was a lot of work, followed by a week long of 2.5 hour long dress rehearsals EVERY night ( my girls were kept up for rehearsal, 2 hours past when they should have already been asleep.It was a big sacrifice and acheivement on the part of Bella).This teacher told Bella (in front of other kids..to her face, not in her own little brain..where the thought should have remained) “Well, the Nutcracker is NOT important..kindergarten is!”

My reaction was to become livid because 1) She has no business speaking to her about personal matters in front of other children 2) The Nutcracker was/is important to Bella who worked her little derriere off to be a part of it. What gives this broad the right to discount my child’s achievements? Newsflash; Hey bitch,if I refuse to give my kids an inferiority complex..you sure as hell are not allowed to do so!Main problem being, this is not the first time that she has exhibited this sort of behavior.I have asked her NOT to do this before, to contact me directly.Each time I contacted her, I took a deep breath and I was very diplomatic. I was getting my Master’s in Elementary Education when I was pregnant with Bella and I’ve been working in education now for 10 years, so I do know the ins and outs of the system. I know this woman needs to retire. This time I included the principal on the email.The principal said she would handle it, next morning first thing I received an email that the teacher would only send notes and communication through myself directly. Hopefully this matter is resolved. So, that started the break off with a bad taste in my mouth.

Then there was an incident where a family member took it upon himself to mock my blog and mimmick every food choice that I made while visiting.I am on Nutrisystem and I ate my Nutrisystem while there, but there were times where we were out starving and picked something up at a restaurant. I made my choices with the plan in mind. But all the while, I had this family member, mocking me. Cracking wise on my weight.( who the hell thinks its OK to comment on a woman’s weight?) I bit my tongue,so I wasn’t teaching my girls to be disrespectful towards their elders. And yes, he does know I’m on Nutrisystem.The straw that broke the camels back was when he decided to rant over what I was eating at a public restaurant,loudly enough to call the attention of the other patrons ( I was mortified) and then when we left. My husband was fastening the girls into their car seats. I was waiting to sit next  to them ( I was freezing),but his arm was in the way so I couldn’t get all the way in.The family member said, maybe if you hadn’t eaten so much, you’d fit! WTF?? I was flabbergasted. Yeah, and that was the third day of this type of behavior.Until, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had been biting my tongue and then I woke up the next morning and had hit my threshold. I had to leave. I can only be gracious for so long. So, that’s been the start to the holiday break! Seems everybody;s trying to kick this girl til she cries!

But I won’t let them restrict the size of my heart!This heart will grow three times its original size!Damn the finances! Damn the separation!Damn expectation!Damn ignorant people with big boisterous voices! This is MY Blog…if you don’t like it or you don’t want to hear/care about what I have to say..Don’t read it! Whatever you do, don’t try to throw my own words in my face. I know what I have said.I am aware that words have effect on people and if used improperly can cut, like knives. I know that first hand.That’s why I don’t do that but lucky for me others do not subscribe to the rules of couth.

So, I am home and I am off to cuddle my girls and love the holiday light right out of them.We have 2 glorious weeks and the Big Guy will be joining us tonight or tomorrow, either way, we’ll scoot in and make room.I just want to encapsulate the moment of togetherness because it will be fleeting but I promise; we will know it was here.What will you be doing to keep your spirits up and truly enjoy the important things…the family, the people, not just the things.Don’t get caught up in the momentum, get wrapped up in the love.How will you do that this year for your family?

One more piece of happiness, yesterday (when I started this post) was the birthday of one of my favorite people in the world!Nik,love you like a sister and I am so glad that we met and became fast friends. It is so rare to find this kind of friendship as an adult. I truly do hope you were spoiled rotten yesterday and appreciated for all that you do for EVERYONE!Running around the world saving all the sickies one gurney at a time!You are an inspiration.Happy Birthday,love ya!

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Teresa 2010/12/21 - 10:36 am

This post makes me sad. I don't care if he is your elder, I think that is the type of thing you need to say something about. In private, like Bella's teacher should have with you.

I'm so sorry people are being so hurtful.

I did weight watchers a couple years ago (probably should again) and it is so important to have people being supportive. Its hard enough when people around you are indulging, but at the very least, encouragement is necessary. I think you're doing great sticking to it!

And if there is one thing I learned with weight watchers (and even when I quit smoking) even if you are indulging a little bit, just remember that doesn't mean you're failing. Its Christmas, you're visiting people and your schedule is off. Its ok to indulge a little, just don't give up!

You're awesome and you're going to have a great Christmas. Gather up the little ones for some snuggling!

Merry Christmas!

Deborah Cruz 2018/09/14 - 9:09 pm

Yes, we all need support. This was a horrible week of bad people saying terrible things. Thank God I have all of my friends online who I can be myself with and they support and love me, regardless.

Brittney 2010/12/21 - 10:40 am

WOW that is awful! I cant believe that teacher acted like that towards your daughter, and the family member's comments were terrible. I'm sorry you had to deal with nincompoops! <--- look a there I spelled that right, no ugly red line... oh sorry got excited haha. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas & don't let other people get to you, Karma is a bitch!

Deborah Cruz 2018/09/14 - 9:12 pm

You are right. What goes around will come around. I just keep telling myself that people who are this nasty must be very unhappy in their own lives. I should probably just feel sorry for them but I’m not letting anyone talk to us like that.

mom2manykidz5 2010/12/21 - 11:03 am

:0( I am so sorry that you had to endure this kind of behavior..totally unacceptable! You are beautiful, inside and out!

Deborah Cruz 2018/09/14 - 9:12 pm

Thanks, sweetie! Hugs

Mommy NaniBooboo 2010/12/21 - 11:32 am

Okay- now I wanna kick some ass… some ignorant, mean, family member ass!
I'm serious, you just say the word. I know people who know people…
I love you, and have the best mothafuckin' Christmas ever despite all the meanies out there!

Deborah Cruz 2018/09/14 - 9:13 pm

I love you. That is all. Forever and ever. I love that you wished me the best mothafuckin Christmas ever.

parenting ad absurdum 2010/12/21 - 11:40 am

Oh no!! I just want to strangle people who step on my childrens' spirit…I don't get it. What is WRONG with people??

Much mommy love and support to you, my friend.

Deborah Cruz 2018/09/14 - 9:14 pm


They are small people with small minds and even smaller hearts.

Krysta 2010/12/21 - 12:00 pm

I'm all fired up for you! When it rains, it pours, sheesh! That must mean you have a stellar week ahead since you got all the bad crap out of the way!

Deborah Cruz 2018/09/14 - 9:15 pm

Yes, it does. It’s a frigging monsoon over here. I hope you are right, when you live through this much crap, it has to be better.

PV Lundqvist 2010/12/21 - 12:31 pm

My son was 'Fritz' at a local production of the Nutcracker, three years running.

He grew more as a person than he ever would if he just went to the classroom.

Deborah Cruz 2018/09/14 - 9:17 pm

That is awesome! And I agree, they do learn so much from being part of these productions.

Bruna 2010/12/21 - 1:39 pm

First of all, Bella's teacher needs a kick in the butt! What she did was not only unprofessional, but so not in the best interest of her student. In front of all the students? I am a teacher and I would NEVER do such a thing. Actually, I would have praised her for the whole Nutcracker experience as opportunities like that are build kids self-esteem and self-worth. They should be celebrated!

As for the person who kept making rude comments to you about your diet or choice in foods, pooh on him. People like that are just miserable in their own lives. Happy people aren't mean to others.

Girlfriend, you are a wonderful Mother, Wife and Twitter friend 😛 Like I always say, YOU ROCK!

Deborah Cruz 2018/09/14 - 9:18 pm

That’s because you are amazing. I love you. Why can’t my kids have you for a teacher? no, YOU ROCK!

Anonymous 2010/12/21 - 3:27 pm

I am sorry to hear about everything you have had to go through. (Big hugs!) You are an amazing, beautiful woman and you don't deserve that. We are so happy to have you as part of our Nutrisystem family and we can't wait to help you reach your goal and of course the skinny jeans too 🙂 Meredith

Deborah Cruz 2018/09/14 - 9:18 pm

Awww, thank you! YOU are amazing, my friend!

Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip 2010/12/21 - 5:55 pm

OMG!!! Debi, I am so sorry. What you described that your relative did is unconscionable. I can't believe anyone would be so mean!! That is terrbile behaviour and I am so sorry that anyone would ever treat you that way. Obviously this person has their own issues and is just acting out on you. Please don't take their crazy talk personal! It obviously has nothing to do with you. And also sorry about Bella's teacher. She definitely sounds like she is out of line and needs to check herself. Listen, if you need me to, I'll open a can of whoopass on the lot of them. I got your back, girl! And you know I love ya! I'm so sorry you've had such a crazy week, but I really hope that you enjoy these 2 weeks with yours hubs. It's so nice you get to be together!! I lov eyou!

Deborah Cruz 2018/09/14 - 9:19 pm

I love you and even the idea of someone as sweet as you opening a can of whoopass makes me smile.

anuncommonfamily.com 2010/12/21 - 6:08 pm

I know I said it earlier, but I'm truly sorry you had to endure those comments about your food choices/weight. NEVER appropriate and totally out of line. You were far more "respectful" than I could have been under the circumstances.

As for Bella's teacher…that's not okay. At all. Sounds like it's time for another conference.

You're an awesome woman with a strong character. Enjoy your girls and your holiday. I'm so proud of you. I mean, 11 pounds?! Hello!


Deborah Cruz 2018/09/14 - 9:21 pm


Thank you. I guess some people just don’t have the same good manners as you and I do. Yes that teacher was insane. She retired. Thank goodness.

Robin 2010/12/23 - 6:53 pm

People can be so mean. I am sorry that really sucks. Especially when they are family. On the positive side, you now know who can count on when the chips are down. Clearly HE is not someone you want to ever lean on. See, you might have made the mistake of thinking you could depend on him because he was FAMILY. Now you know better. Lesson learned. You also know who to get cheap gift for each year;-)

Deborah Cruz 2018/09/14 - 9:22 pm

LOL! I Love that you said who to et the cheap gift.


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