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mean people

Halloween, Halloween 2013, costumes, Magenta, VElma Kelly

Tonight is Halloween. Kids wait for this one day the other 364 days of the year. What would you do if tomorrow night your sweet little girl went up to a neighbor’s house trick or treating and instead of getting a treat, she got sized up by the neighbor and the neighbor handed her a letter explaining that she has surmised your child to be obese and you are a shitty parent for letting her get that way? NO.TREAT.FOR.YOU.FATTY! I’ll tell you what I’d do. I’d march up to her house and stick my boot up her condescending ass and show her just how much I appreciate her advice.

Tomorrow night my girls are going trick-or-treating. They love Halloween, as does the Big Guy and myself. I love the whole season; the horror movies and the costumes and decorating our yard. It’s a fun holiday. There are no deep religious meanings that I need to worry about and the girls look forward to walking around the neighborhood showing off their costumes and getting treats from our neighbors.

My girls get about a bucket full of candy. They are allowed a couple pieces of candy per day for about two weeks and then the bucket gets taken into my husband’s office and made available to all the adults who need their sugary fix. I don’t see this kind of candy consumption as a problem. It is only once a year. My children aren’t diabetic, nor are they morbidly obese , they are healthy and active kids. A few pieces of candy is perfectly okay to me. Some people disagree and feel it is their personal moral obligation to stop overweight kids from themselves by refusing to give them treats.

fat letter to kids, no treats, Fargo, woman, neighbor

Look, I think a child’s weight is the business of the child, their parent and their pediatrician. I am not a pediatrician nor am I a nutritionist so I would ever tell another parent what they should or shouldn’t feed their child and I would never punish a child who is heavy by telling them, “No, you’re too fat. You don’t need it!” because it’s cruel.

Her reasoning?

“I just want to send a message to the parents of kids that are really overweight,” she said. “I think it’s just really irresponsible of parents to send them out looking for free candy just ’cause all the other kids are doing it.”

This woman has no idea what is going on in these children’s lives. Maybe they have a glandular issue or are puffy from chemotherapy. Maybe this kid’s mom just died and he’s been eating his feelings. Maybe this little girl had eating disorders and has just recently been on a road to recovery. Or maybe it’s just none of her damn business. If she wants to be the part of the village that doesn’t contribute to the childhood obesity epidemic, maybe she should just turn off her damn light and not pass out candy to anyone. If she feels morally opposed to contributing to the obesification of our children, why not pass out healthy snacks? Pass out something other than candy? Or just don’t participate. But taking it upon yourself to withhold candy and dole out punishment for being overweight, seems like just going out of your way to be mean.

What do you think? What would you do if your child came back from someone’s door on Halloween with a note telling you that your kid is fat, she’s not getting a treat and you’re a sucky mom?

Halloween, Halloween 2013, Happy Halloween, ghosts, supernatural

 

Happy Halloween!

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Seems my holiday spirit has not yet caught up with my Mommy Holiday need to be in the spirit. My brain knows that I want to want to enjoy the holidays, but for some reason..my heart’s just not in it.

First, I blamed it on  being to busy to enjoy the season with all the rehearsal’s and the productions and just the hectic craziness that is the holidays. Then last Thursday,when I thought I was in the home stretch..wouldn’t you know that something else came up.

Thursday, I picked my 5 year old up from school, a seeming innocuous event.As we are driving home and I start my routine of inquiring about her day, I am informed that her teacher , who previously made her the star of the classroom version of “What not to wear” and I’ve spoken to about her inappropriate behavior, has stricken once again.

Bella begins to recount a conversation that she had with her teacher. It went a little something like this; said teacher was speaking to Bella’s friend who had been on vacation and had gotten sick.The teacher was telling the student that she has missed a lot of school.Bella was standing within earshot, and so the teacher decided to tell Bella ( in front of the other children) “You’ve missed a lot of school too, Bella!” To which my 5 year old said, “I had the Nutcracker last week.” Now let me explain this, Bella missed Monday and Tuesday of last week due to incliment weather and impassable roads but Friday, she had an excused absence for her performance in the Nutcracker. The very same Nutcracker that she had been waiting to be a part of for 3 years, the same one she auditioned for in September, and the very same one that she has been rehearsing for 3 days a week for 4 months (Did I mention she is only 5?) This was a lot of work, followed by a week long of 2.5 hour long dress rehearsals EVERY night ( my girls were kept up for rehearsal, 2 hours past when they should have already been asleep.It was a big sacrifice and acheivement on the part of Bella).This teacher told Bella (in front of other kids..to her face, not in her own little brain..where the thought should have remained) “Well, the Nutcracker is NOT important..kindergarten is!”

My reaction was to become livid because 1) She has no business speaking to her about personal matters in front of other children 2) The Nutcracker was/is important to Bella who worked her little derriere off to be a part of it. What gives this broad the right to discount my child’s achievements? Newsflash; Hey bitch,if I refuse to give my kids an inferiority complex..you sure as hell are not allowed to do so!Main problem being, this is not the first time that she has exhibited this sort of behavior.I have asked her NOT to do this before, to contact me directly.Each time I contacted her, I took a deep breath and I was very diplomatic. I was getting my Master’s in Elementary Education when I was pregnant with Bella and I’ve been working in education now for 10 years, so I do know the ins and outs of the system. I know this woman needs to retire. This time I included the principal on the email.The principal said she would handle it, next morning first thing I received an email that the teacher would only send notes and communication through myself directly. Hopefully this matter is resolved. So, that started the break off with a bad taste in my mouth.

Then there was an incident where a family member took it upon himself to mock my blog and mimmick every food choice that I made while visiting.I am on Nutrisystem and I ate my Nutrisystem while there, but there were times where we were out starving and picked something up at a restaurant. I made my choices with the plan in mind. But all the while, I had this family member, mocking me. Cracking wise on my weight.( who the hell thinks its OK to comment on a woman’s weight?) I bit my tongue,so I wasn’t teaching my girls to be disrespectful towards their elders. And yes, he does know I’m on Nutrisystem.The straw that broke the camels back was when he decided to rant over what I was eating at a public restaurant,loudly enough to call the attention of the other patrons ( I was mortified) and then when we left. My husband was fastening the girls into their car seats. I was waiting to sit next  to them ( I was freezing),but his arm was in the way so I couldn’t get all the way in.The family member said, maybe if you hadn’t eaten so much, you’d fit! WTF?? I was flabbergasted. Yeah, and that was the third day of this type of behavior.Until, I couldn’t take it anymore. I had been biting my tongue and then I woke up the next morning and had hit my threshold. I had to leave. I can only be gracious for so long. So, that’s been the start to the holiday break! Seems everybody;s trying to kick this girl til she cries!

But I won’t let them restrict the size of my heart!This heart will grow three times its original size!Damn the finances! Damn the separation!Damn expectation!Damn ignorant people with big boisterous voices! This is MY Blog…if you don’t like it or you don’t want to hear/care about what I have to say..Don’t read it! Whatever you do, don’t try to throw my own words in my face. I know what I have said.I am aware that words have effect on people and if used improperly can cut, like knives. I know that first hand.That’s why I don’t do that but lucky for me others do not subscribe to the rules of couth.

So, I am home and I am off to cuddle my girls and love the holiday light right out of them.We have 2 glorious weeks and the Big Guy will be joining us tonight or tomorrow, either way, we’ll scoot in and make room.I just want to encapsulate the moment of togetherness because it will be fleeting but I promise; we will know it was here.What will you be doing to keep your spirits up and truly enjoy the important things…the family, the people, not just the things.Don’t get caught up in the momentum, get wrapped up in the love.How will you do that this year for your family?

One more piece of happiness, yesterday (when I started this post) was the birthday of one of my favorite people in the world!Nik,love you like a sister and I am so glad that we met and became fast friends. It is so rare to find this kind of friendship as an adult. I truly do hope you were spoiled rotten yesterday and appreciated for all that you do for EVERYONE!Running around the world saving all the sickies one gurney at a time!You are an inspiration.Happy Birthday,love ya!

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I still don’t understand how you have to be 18 to vote, 21 to drink, 16 to drive, you have to pass a test to see, a test to drive, a test to do everything except to have a child. I think there should be classes offered for parenting before you are actually pregnant and even for being around children in general, and one must pass a test at the end of the learning period to proceed. As it is now, any fool can have a child and be around children; barring any felonies related to child misconduct but by that time the damage has been done. What I am referencing are people saying stupid things to children or not thinking before they speak to children.

Case in point; little boy and his brother 4 and 6 sitting in a room playing, visiting relative says ,”Oh look, its the cute one and the ugly one!” Before you ask, the parents, stood idly by as this train wreck took place and the “ugly” ones self esteem went up in flames.If I would have been there, I can assure you that I would have promptly punched said relative in the face!

Another case, little boy and his same-aged cousin run up to their Grandmother.Grandmother is annoyed with one of the boy’s Dad.The little boy says,”Grandma, I love you!” Grandma says,”I’m not your Grandma!” the little boy is devastated and left feeling unloved and inferior. No one says anything.WTH! Can you really be so loathsome and evil as to say something so obviously hateful towards a 4-year-old? You see what I am saying? I could go on forever with the things I’ve heard but instead, I’d like to illustrate another case.

A little girl is hyper and excited to see her grandparents and is jumping around and talking a million miles a minute. All she wants to do is catch them up.She is asking for Grandma because she wants to share all the details of the past couple of weeks. Grandpa looks at little girls and says, “She doesn’t want to hear about it! She has to go to bed, it’s late!” This was not said in a pleasant tone, it was short, it was curt, it was rude. Little girl’s heart is broken in that instant, she is deflated, she is confused and about to cry. Mommy speaks up,” Excuse me, don’t speak to her like that.She was excited and trying to share with you because she loves you.If you can’t appreciate that, your loss but DON’T speak to her like that ever again!”Mouth agape, tail between legs,in silence he agreed. It may have taken balls to stand up to the little girl’s grandfather but it had to be done in order to preserve her daughter’s self esteem, self worth, and self respect. The moral of the story is some people should NOT be allowed to be around children…ever! Seriously, there ought to be a law and a test. Bonus moral, if you ever over hear an idiot thoughtlessly berating a child, insert yourself into the situation, stand up for the child, and by all means, punch the mean bastard who is breaking the child’s heart square in the neck! Call it a service to mankind!

It may have taken balls to stand up to the little girl’s grandfather but it had to be done in order to preserve her daughter’s self-esteem, self-worth, and self-respect. The moral of the story is some people should NOT be allowed to be around children…ever! Seriously, there ought to be a law and a test. Bonus moral, if you ever overhear an idiot thoughtlessly berating a child, insert yourself into the situation, stand up for the child, and by all means, punch the mean bastard who is breaking the child’s heart square in the neck! Call it a service to mankind!

 

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