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No More Wire Hangers~Apparently,I’m Not who You want teaching You how to Raise your Child

by Deborah Cruz

Oh, I really wanted to write something super upbeat today but then today started off pretty shitty. In pretty much every sense of the word, use your imagination. It was just one of those days when you wish you could stay in bed and hide from the world. But we get up and we power through, it feels like what I imagine it to be like trudging through the Amazon on one of those perfectly outrageously balmy days with a heat index of 125, covered in bugs and dirt feeling like you’d like to be anywhere but there. You know the kind of day I’m talking about. If you’re lucky, its been so long that you don’t remember how awful these kinds of days are but if you are not so lucky you are right here with me fighting for your living breath. The air is thick but the view is beautiful.

That is my life these days. Summer is passing by at warp speed. The girls and myself are ecstatic to be joining the Big Guy under the same roof in less than a month. Of course that roof happens to belong to my in laws and you know how that goes. I’m really looking forward to it since on our last visit, I was “teased” that I needed to be up before noon. Uhhm, have I mentioned before that I am an insomniac and stress makes it worse? It’s summer time, I am trying to soak in every single minute the girls will let us sleep past 6 am. Am I wrong for that? By the way, I’ve not slept in til noon since my honeymoon. And that’s just a scoatch of what is to come. Oh the anticipation!

I had my annual physical this morning and the bad news is that my hair won’t stop falling out until the stress is gone. Fingers crossed, I’m not completely bald before it’s all said and done. Good news, doctor said I’m so stressed to not worry about the weight gain lest I cause more hair to fall out. Wow! A fat and bald girl…can you say SUPER DUPER sexy? I’m thinking no chance of any accidental pregnancies around here.

Then I was told in a super secret email from one of my readers that I am filthy and profane. She also told me that she is a parent educator and she would never (*No more wire hangers) recommend me as a source to her parents.  Well, seriously what the fuck am I supposed to do with that? Was there ever any real danger that someone would mistake my blog for a parent education tool? This is satire, humour and reality..my reality. I don’t expect any one of you to tell your family or friends to use me as their go to source for parenting. If so, heaven help us all. I expect you smart people to learn from my mistakes not repeat them!


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Christine 2011/07/19 - 4:06 am

Lol, really?!? You’re like that coveted glass (or 3) of wine that we get after the kids go to bed! That stick in her ass must have pierced her brain…..
Hey, just a shot in the dark…..have you been tested for gluten intolerance? When I accidentally ingest gluten I start losing more hair as one of my reactions. Weight gain is another very common reaction.

Truthful Mommy 2011/07/19 - 3:22 pm

I will look into that and for your first statement..I heart you! That is all. you made my night!

Addicted2Shius 2011/07/20 - 2:53 pm

Some people I swear! I actually find it hilarious that she thought your blog was a parent tutorial one, not that it couldn’t be but usually I interpret blogs to be a forum for venting not sound advice. Hi it’s not webMD.

Carri 2011/07/21 - 10:11 pm

Oh for Pete’s sake. You’re supposed to be a parenting advice website? What stupid a-hole is going to think that? She deserves a Throat Punch for being so stupid and close minded.


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