I never thought of it before. You see, as much as I hate to admit it, I’ve spent all of my life trying to look and be and sound and appear a certain way. Even when I say that I don’t care. I care. We all do. We are all just a little bit vain and as much as we wish it didn’t, other people’s opinions matter when it’s personal.
If you see me on most days of the week, I have no make up on. None at all. I wear it when I go out at night or if I know I’m going to be photographed, but I’m not one of those women who won’t leave the house until she puts her “face on”. But I care. I take pride in my appearance because it’s sort of like having a clean house, no one wants to live in filth but sometimes we just don’t have time to fold all the laundry, scrub the floors and dust the light fixtures because other things take precedence like loving on little ones and impromptu dance parties and trips to the zoo on sunny days.
But sometimes we forget that because it seems like everyone else has their shit together. But really, none of us have all of our stuff together. If you look behind the curtain you’ll see that the woman who has an amazing career may have a marriage that is crumbling, the lady who looks like a model in her clothes has an eating disorder that she can’t quit, the mom with all the patience in the world has a house that looks like it was hit by a tornado and the mom who you hear yelling through her open window at the dog is because she’s dealing with a 3-year-old newly diagnosed with pediatric leukemia. We just never know. So stop measuring yourself by someone else’s success; by someone else’s anything.
You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to give it all away
You don’t have to bed until you break
You just have to get up
You don’t have to change a single thing
So they like you, do YOU like you?
When you’re all alone by yourself do you like you?
Take your make-up off
Let your hair down
Take a breath
Look into the mirror at yourself
Don’t you like you?
Cause I like you
The point is this, don’t waste your life trying to fit someone else’s mold. You are unique and at your most beautiful and sexy when you are yourself. I speak from experience, I’ve spent a lot of years being unhappy with what I have, wanting more, better, different. I’ve envied others for their ease and grace, their beauty, success but I don’t know their story, it all could have been hard fought and not easy at all.
I learned the hard way, or maybe I should say I am completely blessed to finally have learned the lesson that I am my harshest critic. Those who love me, the Big Guy, my family, my daughters, my amazing friends, they see me.They see the real me and they think I am beautiful, even when I feel ugly and that has to count for something. They see my soul. They see my heart. They see my strength. The same way that I see theirs. In fact, I am regularly astonished by how beautiful the people around me are. They are giving, caring, loving and understanding and it’s taken me half a lifetime to realize this. So, who are we trying to be perfect for if those whose opinion holds any weight already think we are perfect? Just be you and be happy. Do what makes YOU happy.
I just want to remind you that you are the most beautiful you there is. You don’t know how beautiful you are. But I see you.
The bigger question that we all must ask ourselves is this…