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self-image

do you like you, self-image, beauty, self-esteem

When you’re all alone by yourself, do you like you? Do you?

I never thought of it before. You see, as much as I hate to admit it, I’ve spent all of my life trying to look and be and sound and appear a certain way. Even when I say that I don’t care. I care. We all do. We are all just a little bit vain and as much as we wish it didn’t, other people’s opinions matter when it’s personal.

Do you like you?

If you see me on most days of the week, I have no make up on. None at all. I wear it when I go out at night or if I know I’m going to be photographed, but I’m not one of those women who won’t leave the house until she puts her “face on”. But I care. I take pride in my appearance because it’s sort of like having a clean house, no one wants to live in filth but sometimes we just don’t have time to fold all the laundry, scrub the floors and dust the light fixtures because other things take precedence like loving on little ones and impromptu dance parties and trips to the zoo on sunny days.

But sometimes we forget that because it seems like everyone else has their shit together. But really, none of us have all of our stuff together. If you look behind the curtain you’ll see that the woman who has an amazing career may have a marriage that is crumbling, the lady who looks like a model in her clothes has an eating disorder that she can’t quit,  the mom with all the patience in the world has a house that looks like it was hit by a tornado and the mom who you hear yelling through her open window at the dog is because she’s dealing with a 3-year-old newly diagnosed with pediatric leukemia. We just never know. So stop measuring yourself by someone else’s success; by someone else’s anything.

You don’t have to try so hard
You don’t have to give it all away

You don’t have to bed until you break

You just have to get up
You don’t have to change a single thing

So they like you, do YOU like you?

When you’re all alone by yourself do you like you?

Take your make-up off
Let your hair down
Take a breath
Look into the mirror at yourself
Don’t you like you?
Cause I like you

~Colbie Caillat

 

The point is this, don’t waste your life trying to fit someone else’s mold. You are unique and at your most beautiful and sexy when you are yourself. I speak from experience, I’ve spent a lot of years being unhappy with what I have, wanting more, better, different. I’ve envied others for their ease and grace, their beauty, success but I don’t know their story, it all could have been hard fought and not easy at all.

I learned the hard way, or maybe I should say I am completely blessed to finally have learned the lesson that I am my harshest critic. Those who love me, the Big Guy, my family, my daughters, my amazing friends, they see me.They see the real me and they think I am beautiful, even when I feel ugly and that has to count for something. They see my soul. They see my heart. They see my strength. The same way that I see theirs. In fact, I am regularly astonished by how beautiful the people around me are. They are giving, caring, loving and understanding and it’s taken me half a lifetime to realize this. So, who are we trying to be perfect for if those whose opinion holds any weight already think we are perfect? Just be you and be happy. Do what makes YOU happy.

I just want to remind you that you are the most beautiful you there is. You don’t know how beautiful you are. But I see you.

The bigger question that we all must ask ourselves is this…

when you’re all alone by yourself, do you like you?

 

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Stella Boonshoft. self-image, body awareness

Stella Boonshoft. self-image, body awareness

Stella Boonshoft; You Rock my Socks Off

Stella Boonshoft a New York University student  took this photograph of herself in a bikini and posted it on her Tumblr account, The Body Love Blog.

Photographer Brandon Stanton then published the same image on his Facebook fan site, Humans of New York on Thursday, where it has since garnered 455,000 likes and been shared 20,000 times.

The image of Stella Boonshoft in her bikini has sparked a debate about body image and traditional notions of beauty, with some people congratulating Boonshoft and calling her an inspiration, and others criticizing the image for promoting obesity.

I don’t know about you but, as a woman who pretty much looks exactly like this in my own bikini right now and has battled with crappy eating disorders and been plagued with body dysmorphic disorder, this photo gives me hope. I am inspired by her tenacity and proud to know that there are women out there who are trying to change the status quo. I’m not saying that I want to live in a world where it’s accepted that people are unhealthy. I want better for people. I want them to be able to be healthy and fit but more than that, I want to raise my girls in a world where it’s okay to love yourself even if you are not a size 0. We need more role models.

I can’t be a role model. I am not that comfortable in my own skin. I try to be. I try to accept who I am but I have a long ways to go. I KNOW that I am blessed to be healthy and my worth is not in the size of my pants but this girl inspires me, which is exactly what she set out to do for women everywhere.

 

Stella Boonshoft Super hero to Young Women

“I know what I am trying to do, which is help young women struggling with their body image and expose the hypocrisy and cruelty that is size-ism,” she says on her site. “[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][I know that] is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT [than] whatever feelings I may have about myself.”

‘THIS IS MY BODY, DEAL WITH IT’ : Stella Boonshoft in her own words

‘WARNING: Picture might be considered obscene because subject is not thin. And we all know that only skinny people can show their stomachs and celebrate themselves. Well I’m not going to stand for that. This is my body. Not yours. MINE. Meaning the choices I make about it, are none of your … business. Meaning my size, is none of your … business.

 I wish there were more women like you in the world. You go Stella Boonshoft.

What do you think of Stella Boonshoft’s dare to be honest bikini photo?

 

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body image,loving yourself, self-esteem, self-image, eating disorder, body dysmorphic disorder

Dear Debi (the 13-year-old with a skewed body image),

Hold your head high.You are beautiful even with a mouth full of silver.Don’t hide your smile in Freshman gym class. Smile big and hard with those big shiny braces, because one day that smile will light up the world for two of the most incredible little people that you will ever know.

Laugh your goofy Ricky Riccardo laugh because one day the man of your dreams will find it as endearing as you find it disgusting.

Write in your journal, put pen to paper and remember these moments because they are what will make you who you will become. Be fearless!

Try everything, go for your dreams, exhaust your potential.

Walk tall my love, 5’7″ may feel enormous at your age when you are towering over all the boys but in a couple of years, they will all be taller than you.

Little Girl with poor body image

Your value in life is not measured by the size of your jeans and comparing yourself to others is a pointless waste of time. Besides, you are never as big as you think you are and eating disorders and body issues are so not the way to go. With it, comes years of shame and guilt and it will take years to undo the damage that you will do to your body.In the end, it only makes things worse.

Be the best you that you can be, that’s enough. That’s better than enough, its exhausting potential and being comfortable in your own skin. It’s amazing.It is more important than I can even make you understand. It is the kind of knowledge that I’ve had to learn the hard way.

No matter what box you have been put into by people and society, you are free. Your horizons are boundless. Your potential is limitless.

Breathe little girl, there is plenty of time for growing up, embrace yourself. You are the perfect you and what seems momentous today and earth-shattering will pass and make you stronger.

Love yourself with the reckless abandon that you would give anyone else who has a special place in your heart.You deserve it!

Sing at the top of your lungs, dance like nobody is watching, love like you’ve never been hurt, and laugh like Ricky Ricardo!

Love,
Your Older, Wiser Self

Imagine a world

…where every girl grows up with the self-esteem she needs to reach her full potential.
…where every woman enjoys feeling confident in her own beauty.
…where we all help to build self-esteem in the people we love most. 
Dove,Thanks for this wonderful campaign.It makes my heart soar to  know that the world will be a better place for my girls because of it.


My body image is bigger than just my reflection in the mirror

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