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Personal

No Other Love

by Deborah Cruz 2010/05/13

[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eRqWQad5PyM]

Ok, I promise….No more sap until…TOMORROW![/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

2010/05/13 0 comment

Marriage and Relationships

Better than Ice cream

by Deborah Cruz 2010/05/13

written by Deborah Cruz

In a couple days, my husband and I will be celebrating our 11th wedding anniversary(we married when we were 19..not really but its the only way the math works if I am perpetually 30) and it has me feeling a little (how shall we say it) romantic! So this is for you baby! Because ~~for~~ to me, you are better than ice cream. That’s saying a lot considering my love affair with ice cream. I could give up all other food, but not ice cream. Never ice cream!
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2010/05/13 3 comments

Confessions

Truthful Tuesday’s; May 11,2010

by Deborah Cruz 2010/05/11

written by Deborah Cruz

Ok, I know I am not so good at always remembering to vent on Truthful Tuesdays. How am I suppose to be a good example if I don’t even vent myself? So here, I go. Keep in mind, I had to dig deep to find something that made my life not perfect today:)

I’ve decided that I hate, absolutely hate, splinters. Yes, seems the little bastards have declared war on my girl,Gabs. Pobresita. Any idea how hard it is to remove splinters from a 2 year old drama queen in complete hysterics? It is absolutely exhausting , for all involved. Did I mention she had 6 splinters in 2 days? Oh my, hate to say it but its looking more and more like she will be wearing gloves and socks and shoes all summer long. The trauma the splinters are causing is too much.
I’ve also have to confess that I saw a blog the other day titled something like A Mommy blog that is about more than just complaining! WTF?? Seriously? I don’t spend all my blogging time complaining. I try to be truthful, it’s not all sunshine and roses but its not all dark clouds and doom either. I think its pretty shitty that she would just assume that all other Mommy Blogs are riddled with complaining! I think that she is kinda a douche!
I’m also going to be honest about the fact that the crappy monsoon weather coupled with the bitter cold has had me in a funk. I’ve pretty much not felt like leaving the house and my children have been working my very last nerve. Oh yeah, tonight my 2 year old decided to piss my bed. She wasn’t sleeping when it happened. I asked her why and her answer was this ,”Actually, I made up my mind and I did it!” What? First of all, where did the “Me” go? Usually, its “Me, this or Me that”. And why so defiant today? Why you gotta kick Mommy when she’s down? Couldn’t she have taken this stance about something like human rights, or the ethical treatment of animals, becoming the first woman president…why just randomly pissing on my bed?? What did I do to deserve the honor of being her first decided asshole maneuver? After much probing, she changed her answer to say that she couldn’t get in to the bathroom so she peed my bed. Seriously, did she just think to herself…”Hey, Mommy’s bed kinda looks like a toilet. I think I will piss there!” Yes, this has been the kind of day it has been. I’d say its been shitty, but I guess its really been pissy.
Screw you non complaining Mommy blogger..you’re just not complaining because either you are in denial or you are an effing LIAR!!! That’s right, I can say that…its my blog!

2010/05/11 4 comments

Throat Punch Thursday

World’s Fattest Woman

by Deborah Cruz 2010/05/04

written by Deborah Cruz

Ok, so I heard about this woman from New Jersey,Donna Simpson, who is ‘fantasizing’ about being the World’s fattest woman, weighing in at a hefty 1000 pounds within the next two years. I read about this last month, with the rest of the world, but could not bring myself to comment on it until I had read all the facts. It seems, Ms. Simpson already weighs 604 pounds but wants to achieve the weight of 1000 pounds so that she can be listed in the Guinness World record books as the World’s fattest Lady.

First, I’d like to say that, personally, this entire article rubbed me completely the wrong way. What woman facilitated with her right mental capabilities would choose to gain almost 400 more pounds to gain such a title? I know there are women out there who are satisfied and embrace a bigger lifestyle. Hurray for them. I am happy that they can be happy and content at any size. But it is one thing to love yourself for who you are another to say that you ‘fantasize’ about being 1000 pounds. I have to call BULLSHIT! Please, as a woman who has never been satisfied with her size, I’ve hit the range pretty much everywhere from a size 5 to a 20, you can not convince me that this woman truly wants to be 1000 pounds. I don’t even weigh a third of what she already weighs and I know with every pound beyond this that I have had and lost, I felt absolutely miserable. I was self conscious, my clothes didn’t fit well, I didn’t feel healthy, I felt unattractive, I felt like I was worth less because of my size. Now, I know this is not PC to say. I also know that this has always been my own cross to bear, unlike Ms.Simpson I don’t want to be the biggest fat ass imaginable..I went quite the other way with eating disorders. I know that is nothing to be proud of and believe me I have to work twice as hard as everyone else to lose that same pound but damn it , I would never give up and say, ‘Oh well, F*ck it..I don’t want to work out, I’ll just eat 12000 calories a day and see how fat I can get before I die!” It’s like she has given up on herself and is trying to convince the world that she is perfectly happy being like this. It’s such bullshit that it truly bothers me.

World’s Fattest Woman says she is happy at her size

She is a horrible example for her child. Oh yeah, she is a Mommy. In fact , now she is trying to get Guinness to make her the “Fattest woman to ever give birth” at a whopping 532 pounds. Can you believe this? It is a major miracle that she could gestate and give birth to a child, focus on that. Not the fact that you were morbidly obese when you did it. I can’t believe that the Guinness World book people can condone such irresponsible behavior. Look at all the people who have been on the Biggest Loser, Richard Simmons Infomercials, joined the Beachbody Insanity craze, the Turbo Jammers, the Spinners, the Zumba lovers, the Mommy’s running before day break, the Weight Watchers, the Jenny Craigers, the Nutrisystem junkies, the zoners, South Beach dieters, the pitiful Adkins dieters and countless others…all these people are working their asses off to be healthy and this broad is throwing it all back in their faces and trying to kill herself with food. It is gluttony pure and simple and it is disgusting. I hate to be so harsh but this woman seriously makes me sick. She boasts about being able to eat 70 pieces of sushi. I think she should be ashamed of her behavior and her example she is setting for her own child .Good God, someone wire her jaw shut…STAT!

World’s Fattest Woman

https://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/nj_woman_attempting_to_become_world_pco3O4qPWiCg3yjEWaxx9N

P.S. I know this post was a little critical and I am sorry if I offended anyone, but her whole reasoning for this behavior; killing herself with food to be in a damn record book…infuriates me to no end. This is only my opinion but it’s my blog so I can state it here:) I think it’s disgusting to willfully want to be The World’s Fattest Woman!

2010/05/04 7 comments

Marriage and Relationships Parenting

This is LOVE

by Deborah Cruz 2010/04/23

written by Deborah Cruz

2010/04/23 5 comments

Emily Doe, victim statement, Brock Turner, Stanford, swimmer, rape, rapist, kid, roared, roar, tantrums, mommy moment, bad parenting

Confessions

That Day I Roared at My Daughter

by Deborah Cruz 2010/04/19

written by Deborah Cruz

Can someone please teach me how to parent with patience? Have you ever roared at someone? I mean yelled so loudly that you would almost certainly scare an adult and definitely frighten a small child. The entire point of this blog is to be honest with you. Not just when my kids are adorable, sweet and hilarious but also when they are being raging lunatics, whining brats and pretty much straight up assholes or when I am.

Oh, don’t get me wrong, they are my world so welcome to my world! A crappy day in the life of an otherwise perfect life. Daddy’s been traveling a lot for an out of town job, so I am basically single Mommying it (which sucks , by the way. I’m not cut out for it , I don’t have the stomach or patience for it.)

It’s basically been a ‘No’ fest, with lots of ‘I don’t want to’s’, refusals to sleep, eat, basically to adhere to any and all rules I may have. To make things worse, my 2-year-old has developed quite the knack for incessant whining and sporadic screaming outbursts…. for absolutely no reason at all.

As you all already know, there is no rationalizing with a 2-year-old. So, Ive found myself doing a lot of threatening. Threatening that I was calling the cops to come take her away ( he can come take me away…. Please come take someone away).

Threatening to send her to her Grandma’s, child services…. You get the picture?

I’ve become a really shitty mom( at least that’s the way I feel..no I am pretty sure I have been a pretty shitty Mommy) saying things I don’t mean, trying to get her to stop this behavior without physically beating her tiny little tush. I don’t spank because I’m afraid that with my temper I couldn’t stop. Plus I got spanked and I didn’t like it. It hurt, it was scary, and it sucked…. but I did behave.

So yesterday , I went off the deep end and yelled. I yelled so loudly that it reminded me of when a lion roars. And then, I cried and apologized because it was such a shitty thing to do to someone so little who I love so much!

I cried, then she cried, then her sister cried…I think we were all tired and emotional because Sunday’s are the days Daddy leaves back out of town. I’m not making excuses for my shitty behavior, I am repenting.

I am sharing because I know I am not the only Mommy who has fell off the deep end and landed in a pile of emotional wreckage. Today’s a new day, things are better. I’m really employing the positive reinforcement. I wonder, how many stars do I get for keeping my cool and not crying? Happy Mothering.

Have you ever Roared at Your Child?

2010/04/19 10 comments

Confessions

Don’t believe the hype

by Deborah Cruz 2010/04/19

written by Deborah Cruz

Who’s the spin doctor for Motherhood? Seriously, who was it who decided to tell us that when we get pregnant we ‘glow ‘ and ‘ never look more beautiful’ ?Did I really , could I really, have been so naive to believe that harboring a fugitive parasite in my body for 10 months could make me beautiful. Saying it out loud sounds ridiculous.You’d think someone with a 147 IQ would have known better. Let’s be honest , when I was pregnant , I felt nauseaus, bloated , fat, ugly, unlike myself , grouchy, mean, horny , hateful, hungry , tired and like I had to pee a lot. But not once , do I ever remember feeling beautiful or glowing . I guess if they told us the truth the species would die out . I guess it’s not all so bad, I did go back for seconds. Pretty sure I’ve learned my lesson now, though . Happy Mothering, may it be all it’s cracked up to be.

-Truthful Mommy xoxo

2010/04/19 0 comment

home waxing, waxing, beauty, beauty hacks, life lessons, beauty is pain

Beauty Confessions

Beauty Hacks to Avoid: When Home Waxing Becomes Deadly

by Deborah Cruz 2010/04/13

written by Deborah Cruz

Have you ever had a home waxing go bad?

I mean, we’ve all had the wax burn, accidental over wax of the eyebrows and many of us have looked at that damn hairy strip of cloth and thought for one small second, Really? Why am I doing this? I am married to a man whose back is harrier than my head, occasionally farts when he sleeps and OMG, the man cold. But still, we do it because who the hell wants their partner to think they are gross, plus I don’t want to be hairy. Like I’ve told my girls since they were born, beauty is pain. I want to prepare them for when they are 13 and I want to pluck rogue eyebrows or dark lip hairs. Thankfully they are blonde so hopefully they won’t share in my unsightly five o’clock shadow lip quandary.

Ok, since I am running late..always and can not find the time to spare to take care of myself, in the way in which I am accustom to, I have had to resort to some home remedies. Ok, Moms you know what I am talking about. The Pedegg, home manicures, pedicures, home dye jobs, and even home waxing. God Bless you Nads!

It seems my Pedro has been getting quite out of control…upstairs girls not downstairs. We’ve had the fu manchu mishap, it’s been hardwoods ever since. I am referring to my ever so slightly hairy monkey lip that I so lovingly refer to as my womanstache! OK, so you say you’ve never seen me with this atrocity. Of course not, silly girl. I don’t go in public when the fuzz is a showin. Well, not usually, anyways. It’s just one of my many blessings of being a Latina woman, come on my Greek and Italian girlfriends..you feel me, right? No way we get to have all that flowing hair and curves and not get a sin tax in the form of waxing. Beauty is pain, people.

Anyways, this morning, I hit my hairy monkey threshold. Pedro had to be dealt with. I go to the bathroom to do “the deed”. Waxing. What were you thinking? Oh how I hate being the one to do it. I flinch and sometimes I almost don’t want to pull the strip. I always flash back to the 40 Year Old Virgin..yeah, that’s what my lip feels like when I do it myself. I think its mostly mental, but whatever it is…it hurts.

This morning my 2 and 5-year-old follow me into the bathroom, big surprise. What you think I’ve peed alone in the past 5 years? Nope, I’m just like you. I live under the watchful eyes of voyeuristic little people. They’ve seen me get waxed at the salon, as they are always with me. There is not much I can hide from them. Mommy’s special “Bandaids” for her “monthly vagina booboos”, phantom farts ( because I swear, IT WAS THE DOG) and even my uneven breasts which, I might add my 2-year-old is very disappointed in what gravity and breastfeeding have done to them.We are a very transparent family so if the poor dears have inherited my hairy chihuahua gene they should know what they have to look forward to.

Anyways, my 5-year-old, she is asking all the right waxing questions. How does that work? Does that go on your face? Doesn’t that hurt? Smart cookie. I get into gotta do it mode, put that lovely little wax strip on my face ( I forgot the desensitizing wipe because of the fear and trepidation of pulling the strip..it must be how a soldier feels right before pulling the pin in a grenade). ** I mean no disrespect to soldiers, I know it’s much more frightening handling a live grenade than it is a hairy lip but for me, it’s pretty traumatic.

I glance over at my girls, they both have their hands over their ears like the damn hear no evil monkeys. I’m not sure if its because they are afraid that I am going to scream in pain and anguish or in anticipation of ear muffs due to the obscenities that may accompany such pain. I chuckle. Of course, I chuckle. It’s hilarious that my kids know me so well.

In unison, as I muster the courage to pull the strip, I hear..”Hey! Ho! Let’s Go…to the waxing show!”

My little boogers..I cracked up so hard, I nearly ripped my nose off! Thanks Rock Band. As of late, my 2 year old can put anything to the tune of Blitzkrieg Bop by the Ramones! I am so proud.

Hope my nose grows back.

What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve had to do in front of your kids?

Did it involve home waxing? 😉

2010/04/13 9 comments

Confessions

Truthful Tuesday, April 13,2010

by Deborah Cruz 2010/04/13

written by Deborah Cruz

Here we go again! I don’t know about you, but I need to expel some baggage. It’s Tuesday and this week is blowing already.
First, I am a bit irrate at the fact that spell check had disappeared from blogger. Look, blogger, I love you but I ‘spell check’ for a living, I don’t want to have to do it in my leisure! Give me back my spell check!
Second, I am not digging the dream part of sleep (refer to previous post). I love sleep, but sleep is not my friend. Normally, she illudes me and flees into the night and I can seldom catch her. When I do catch her, I’d prefer she not be wrought with insanities and riddled with threats. Bad sleep! Me no likey!
Third, still annoyed with the whole “out of town” gig my husband has. Completely happy we can feed our children, pay our bills, and live like normal people (well normal people who don’t see each other 5 days a week). But certainly not loving the fact that I am alone in my chaos, this isn’t what I signed up for. I didn’t get married to be alone, and especially not to raise our kids alone. Not fair!
Fourth, frusturated that there is not enough time in the day, the week, the year…to get done what I need to get done on a daily basis. You try to do something nice, raise a family, make a home, be a good wife,stay healthy, have friends, engage your children, work, use your mind, but apparently…you are only allowed to choose 3 things off the list, there is no time for the rest. Make your choices ladies!
OK, I will stop now. I could go on but I will save some for next week:) Happy Mothering!

Oh yeah, one more thing, I HATE when my coffee goes cold while I’m trying to type a posts!ARGH! I’m done now:) I promise.

2010/04/13 1 comment

Mom Life Weight Loss

Help, I’ve fallen….

by Deborah Cruz 2010/04/09

written by Deborah Cruz

OK, well maybe I haven’t quite fallen off the Weight Watchers wagon but I am definitely falling. I started this journey about 6 months ago. I had hit the reset button on my life and was doing really well. I lost 25 lbs in the first 3 months and that is no small feat, especially for a woman in her mid thirties with two small girls. But then a lot of life happened to me and the loss stalled. Problem is its been stalled for about 3 months. I still go get weighed ( even though it is within the same 1 lb every week) and I track my points but this plateau is holding its ground. Now, I don’t know if this is payback for having an eating disorder for 7 years of my younger life and my body is trying to punish me in my old age or if I’ve done something wrong, pissed someone off…or what. All know is someone needs to push my slightly fat ass back up on that wagon cause I’m quickly losing my footing . Weight loss is an epic adventure no matter what age you are but throw into the mix that your time is monopolized by others who are actually life dependent on you and things get hairy. I am tying to be healthy, to be a good example for my girls…so failure is not an option. I have got to keep at this until it works. Basically, I am in this for the rest of my life. I need to refocus, reset, and restart. Here I go, pulling myself back up on that wagon…hey, that at least has to be good for my arms, right?

2010/04/09 3 comments

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