Breaking News~ Guess who’s Pregnant!

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Guess who’s Pregnant! ~ Lately, it seems, everyone that I know is pregnant. Everyone. It’s like it’s in the water. This, in turn, means that everyone and their mama is asking the Big Guy and I when we are going to have another baby. People, I know I was the absolute picture of pregnant. I know that I had that pregnant glow for what seemed like forever and I realize that the Big Guy and I make damn cute kids. Damn cute! It’s not being dramatic to say that they are quite possibly the cutest babies that I’ve ever seen, it’s stating a fact. So, I see why everyone keeps asking when we are getting pregnant again. I do. I really do. But that’s a personal question. It’s like asking a woman when she’s going to get her shark week next. Seriously, it is. It’s no bueno. Plus, it’s an uncomfortable question to be asked when out and about or at an unsuspecting family function ( a wedding, ahem) or a random dinner with friends (you know who you are). Tidewater Physicians provide obstetrics & gynecology services for new soon to be mothers, get a check-up from them if you’re expecting.

Can You Believe who’s PREGNANT?

No one is safe from this kind of badgering. I mean it’s come from strangers, passersby to long time friends who I’ve actually had long drawn out conversations with about this very topic! The Big Guy has taken to saying ” Oh NO! We are done!” Somehow, this hits my ears and is transformed, Chinese telephone like, into “Hell NO! I am never going near that stretched out, herpes (*Disclaimer: NO I DON’T have the Herpes, this was said for effect) infested, black hole again! EVER! NEVER! I HATE BABIES!!!” ( of course, this is shouted ( in my head) for effect.) I, on the other hand, coyly answer with a sheepish smile, ” I don’t know. I think we may be done.” then I add a wink for posterity. Because, I love me some babies and let’s be honest, I don’t like other people making decisions for me about anything. Plus, really, it’s nobody’s business. But the Big Guy and I have went round and round about the answering part. I have actually been very offended by his response, even though I have no intention of having another baby at this point. I mean, I am seriously, 99.7 % sure that I don’t want another baby. I may be asking my sister’s to borrow theirs, or encouraging my brothers to have some but me? I think it may be time to close down the baby factory. Make things a little more fun and a little less function. Know what I mean? Still, people will ask.

Are you going to get pregnant soon?

Not if I have anything to do with it! But see, that’s not a nice answer and it could probably be offensive so I have thought up a list of alternative answers that the Big Guy can give as I don’t like the implications of the current answer.

Yes, we are going to start trying to get pregnant… Just as soon as the Publisher’s Clearing House people ever show up with our check they promised.
What? She is pregnant..with triplets! Can’t you tell? I’d recommend you get Mid Atlantic Women’s Care Ob-Gyn care in Virginia.
Yes, we are starting in 5 minutes, can you please leave. We’d like to at least copulate in private.
We were going to get pregnant but then we found out that we are related and it would just be too risky to be my baby’s uncle daddy.
Yes, she’s ovulating as we speak. In fact, I should go.You could be making us miss our only chance for having this baby.
We plan to get pregnant as soon as the the older two can wipe their own asses.
Yes, Santa is bringing us a pregnancy for Christmas.
We were going to get pregnant but we decided instead that we’d like to sleep again in the next couple of years.
We are going to get pregnant, the absolute second that I can carry the baby.We are looking into it.
We will not be getting pregnant, we’ve decided that we don’t like children.
Hell yeah, we’re getting pregnant. I can’t keep my hands off that hot biatch!
Her uterus fell out when we had the last one, we can’t get pregnant again. We’re looking for a surrogate, is your wife available?
Uhhmm yeah! We’re going to beat those damn Duggars!
We were but then my wife remembered that it’s really painful to go through child birth and would rather have all of her fingernails pulled out and her eyelids cut off, since she won’t be sleeping ever again anyways.
We are..as soon as there is no more racism, sexism or homophobia in the world.
My wife just found out that she’s allergic to sperm, please back away from her with any sperm wielding appendages. (*credit to Casey @ MooshIndy)

What’s the best answer you’ve ever given a space invader when they’ve asked if and when you were going to get pregnant again? Please leave your suggestions on how the Big Guy and I should answer next time someone asks. Can’t wait to hear your creative suggestions. Do you think it’s okay to ask someone something so personal? Why? Why not?

Speaking of being pregnant, today I am guest posting at Moonfrye about the Things I wish I knew before I became a Mommy. Would love it if you could stop by and leave some love.

No we are not PREGNANT!

Comments

18 responses to “Breaking News~ Guess who’s Pregnant!”

2011/10/09
Very Bloggy Beth
I had a miscarriage in April, but I had been very vocal about my pregnancy, so I had to tell everyone and their mother about my miscarriage. Which was bad enough, but now? I go 2 weeks without seeing someone and they think it’s ok to ask “Are you pregnant yet?” I can’t even tell you how much I hate that question. The answer is NO, which sucks enough on its own, but then everyone feels awkward and sorry for me and GAH. I hate it. Just don’t ask. When I’m pregnant, I will let you know!
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1. 2011/10/09
  Truthful Mommy
  First,I am very sorry that you had to go through a miscarriage. Secondly, see people are stupid for asking people this question. It is such a personal question and it puts everyone on edge. It makes me uneasy to be asked. What am I supposed to do, explain my entire life story as to why I may or may not want , need, not want or need another child?
  People should just not ask. I agree with you. When I am/ was/or would ever be pregnant…I would absolutely tell everyone..as soon as I felt comfortable. As soon as I was READY. People should simply not ask, it;s bad etiquette:( XO
  Reply
2011/10/09
moosh in indy.
As big of a buzzkill that it was saying that I couldn’t get pregnant…it sure did shut the nosy people up quick.
I found it better to say “I just had a pretty invasive surgery so I’m going to have to wait awhile before I go thinking about more babies.”
Then again…you say stuff like that and people get even MORE nosy.
You could just say “I just found out I’m allergic to sperm.” Heh.
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1. 2011/10/09
  Truthful Mommy
  I am so adding yours to the list! I am allergic to sperm! It is getting added now, you will be credited with this great idea!:)
  Can we just form a group here in Indiana, the let’s not ask people when, if, they are or will become pregnant club? the secret handshake could be a knock over the head with a skillet to anyone who asks the question?LOL
  I love it! You are a genius!
  Reply
2011/10/10
susan
i was married 10 years before having a baby and it was my Mum that used to get the interrogation. She would say, when asked if I was “”pregnant yet”” oh…no, she isn’t able to do that…. and then kind of trail off. it would shut people up straight away.
For me, the best – or maybe the worst – was getting asked if I was pregnant and saying…nah I’m just fat because I eat too much.
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1. 2011/10/10
  Truthful Mommy
  Oh jeez, I assume that shut them up quick:) That’s actually my biggest fear …that someone will ask me when Im due and it’s only a breakfast burrito baby:) I love that your Mom was your baby interrogation wing man. Go MOM! We were married 5 years before we became “with child” and you would have thought I was a 100 year old cat lady with the ferociousness that people were asking when, if and how we were going to become pregnant~!LOL
  Reply
2011/10/10
Illusion of Sanity (Kim)
I loved this post! I had all kinds of idiotic, nosy questions before, during and after pregnancy. One day I was so sick of the questions that when one of my coworkers asked, “Are you trying for another child?” that I blurted out, “Well, no, not at this exact moment, but I’ll let you know when we do.” JAW DROP.
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1. 2011/10/10
  Truthful Mommy
  LOL! I love that it’s perfectly acceptable for them to be shocked at your answer but they think it’s appropriate to ask when and if we are having another baby.Seriously, if you are not my husband, my children or my Mama, it’s not your business. Right? It’s as bad as being in a bad mood and someone asking “are you on the rag?” WTH? ” why yes, I am! Now throw me a tampon and back the f*ck up!”
  Perhaps, next time someone asks me if we are going to have another one…I will start crying inconsolably and tell them that I was in a terrible accident in which my uterus was destroyed and my ovaries burst on impact.Wonder what they’ll do then?LOL
  Reply
2011/10/10
Kalley C
This is one of the most annoying questions (and there are MANY annoying questions) to ask a woman. I’ve been asked that when my daughter was 4 months old. I was “advised” to have them very close together….umm no thank you.
When I finally was able yes, I am pregnant again, I ended up having a miscarriage in August; so for now people stay off my back.
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1. 2011/10/10
  Truthful Mommy
  I’m sorry. Secondly, people are idiots for asking. I don;t understand how it is accepted. Just like I don’t know how people think it’s ok to touch a pregnant woman’s belly. People just don’t know anything about boundaries.
  Reply
2011/10/10
Leighann
I thought you were announcing a pregnancy! I really don’t think it’s appropriate for anyone to ask if someone is trying because you never know if they’ve been struggling or have gone through a loss.
Some people have no common sense.
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1. 2011/10/10
  Truthful Mommy
  I;m sorry if I disappointed you:) I do love me some babies but I am pretty sure 99.7% that the baby factory will be closing it doors and remodeling into something more fun:)LOL
  And amen to what you said. I know many women struggling to get pregnant with a child and having idiots ask all the time only exacerbates the fact that they aren’t.
  Reply
2011/10/10
Melissa {adventuroo}
I LOVE this post, sister! I swear people were asking us when we were having a third as soon as Little Roo came out of my uterus. Sheesh.
Oh and I love how you put “the” in front of herpes, as in “the herpes.” Just adding “the” in front of stuff makes it funnier. Like saying the Twitter. Of course it’s fun to say “the Twitters.” Almost sounds like “the herpes.”
I’ll stop rambling now. LOL
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1. 2011/10/10
  Truthful Mommy
  Right? Like the moment the epi wears off someone is asking when the next one is coming. I can’t say never but dang, it’s uncomfortable when people ask you like you are a loser if you say no. And I don;t know why my husbands answer gets all twisted in my head and gets spit out as a raging case of the herpes but it does, so I had to give him some alternatives..you know, to make myself feel better:)LOL
  Never stop rambling, I love rambling! XO
  Reply
2011/10/10
statia
Having been on the infertility side, I will NEVER ask a woman about her reproductive life, unless she brings it up. Hell, I won’t even ask a woman if she’s pregnant unless she’s crowning.
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1. 2011/10/10
  Truthful Mommy
  LMAO!I love it! Me neither, I am deathly afraid of asking someone when they are due..only to have them tell me they are not expecting. The sheer horror. I would feel awful.
  Reply
2011/10/13
Jess
LOL! Mujer you had me going for a minute. Yeah, this baby factory is closed for a while, AT LEAST. I’m saying it’s done, but quien sabe. Thank you Mirena 😉
Reply
2012/01/09
The TRUTH About Motherhood – Mommy Kryptonite~That New Baby Smell
[…] Mommy soul. Oh yes, I’ve got baby on the brain big time. I know I have pledged myself to the Just Say No to babies campaign. I have willfully closed for business. I have made the decision to close the doors on the baby […]
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