This piece was originally posted on May 7,2009..it was the second post of the first day I had my blog. I was a little eager and I had a lot to say about Motherhood..still do. But then you know that already, right? These first posts, I adore. They are like the days of having my first child, when I knew absolutely nothing but loved every single minute of it. I was writing for an audience of me..myself.Who else? No one else knew who the heck I was and no one was reading, except for the Big Guy..I’m pretty sure that was only to make sure I wasn’t saying anything embarrassing about him.Or perhaps it was because reading my blog is like reading my diary or living a few minutes inside my head..scary thought. I know. I hope you enjoy these flashbacks as much as I do.
All anyone ever tells you about birth is “It’s such a blessing” (which it is) and you forget about the pain of childbirth as soon as you hold your beautiful newborn baby in your arms (which I hate to be the bearer of bad news, is a complete (Did I mention complete) and absolute, bold faced lie). Unless an anvil fell on your head, immediately after giving birth, while holding your newborn and by some miracle missed your child, and knocked you unconscious leaving you with amnesia…you will never forget the pain of childbirth. It is an indescribable, unforgettable, and unbearable pain…who could forget that, so why don’t we warn our sisters, friends, and other beloved women in our lives?
I’ll tell you why….. it wouldn’t change a thing. The pain would still be ‘that’ pain, and all it would do is make our girlfriends stress out, tense up and hurt even worse. Besides, if you dare to be different and actually go against the code and tell someone the truth, well, they won’t believe you anyways. I told my best friend that while waiting for the anesthesiologist, I told my husband if he didn’t find the damn doctor with the needle then I was going to jump out the large picture window that was in my hospital room. He knew I was serious. She thought I was kidding, speaking metaphorically to demonstrate the point, but I was serious. Dead serious! Not until she was in the throes of her own delightful birth did she recollect my words and realize damn, she was telling the truth!!! The scary, horrible, painful truth.
I had asked my sister in law (who had 4 children at the time, with no epidural) about the pain of childbirth and I never got a straight answer. Just the typical, you’ll forget about the pain once you hold your baby in your arms and look down into those beautiful eyes. After, I went through the lovely ordeal of childbirth; I called her and asked her “why didn’t you warn me?” Her answer to me was this, “it wouldn’t have changed anything and it would have freaked you out. Once you’re pregnant, it’s too late to change your mind because of a little pain (Little?) Besides, you never would have believed me!!!”And you know, we were on the phone (states apart) but I swear to God almighty that I heard laughter in her voice. You know that, I just pulled a joke on somebody laugh.A damn snicker.
I’m telling you, this club, it really does enjoy watching its provisional’s squirm. I was punked! But she was/is right; I would have thought she was crazy, a wimp, a liar, perhaps all of the above but I never would have believed and certainly could not have comprehended what child birth felt like.