Author

Deborah Cruz

Adding the Perfect Pop of Color to Your Dining Room

by Deborah Cruz 2015/06/19

My style is very minimalist but I crave a pop of color like the air I breathe. I need it. I like clean lines and bright colors but not a lot of “Stuff”. I am not a chochky kind of girl. Mess makes me insane and too much going on is just, well, “too much” for me. Don’t get me wrong I love bright bold colors and patterns but everything in moderation. My dining room is no exception.

We bought an old house, circa 1977, and we are completely renovating it. It’s been a labor of love and it’s going a little slower than I would prefer but hey, if living in a perpetual episode of This Old House gets me the home I’ve always wanted, then I’m all in.

My dining room was stark white. For a brief moment we painted the upper half merlot red but that seemed to date the room and it wasn’t the pop of color I wanted. I wanted fresh and clean. We decided it was just too dark and drab for us. So, we scrapped the whole thing and started from scratch.

Currently, the top half of the dining room is beautiful, soft trellis wallpaper in robin’s egg blue. We are still in the process of adding Wainscoting below the chair rail but that didn’t stop me from feeling like I needed something to really make my dining room pop. After all, the décor is a big part of the dining experience. Well, that and the company!

I usually add pop with flowers because who can resist fresh flowers. My favorite flowers are peonies but mine are all in various shades of pink and I needed something brighter.

My daughters wanted something whimsical but I really crave simplicity so we compromised with LaMont Brights Placemats in Peacock. They come in 3 bright colors; lime, peacock and daffodil.

And we properly set the table for four with my favorite white dishes. There is just something about a cheery table that makes the food taste better and the entire meal more digestible.

For more great ideas of how to add that special pop of color to your home, check out the Wayfair Pop of Color Pinterest board.

What is your favorite way to add a pop of color to your home?

*Disclaimer: A huge thank you to Wayfair for sponsoring this post but all opinions and love for these gorgeous Peacock blue placemats and the pop of color they bring with them are all mine.

2015/06/19 0 comment

Charleston Shooting, racism, tolerance, church shooting, South Carolina, Dylann Roof

Throat Punch Thursday

The Charleston Shooting is a Black and White Problem and We’re All Responsible

by Deborah Cruz 2015/06/19

written by Deborah Cruz

The Charleston Shooting was not an isolated case. It’s not even the first time RECENTLY that unwarranted violence has happened in Charleston. It was the brutal murdering of 9 innocent African Americans for no other reason than being black. The Charleston Shooting is not just something that happened to the American people. This is something that we allowed to happen by being complacent and silent and doing nothing more than bitching about the ongoing state of civil rights in America for decades. We could have prevented this had we stood up, fearlessly and relentlessly against racism.

Innocent people were shot and killed by a man who thought he was justified in walking into a Charleston, South Carolina church during services and murdering them because he felt that he was entitled to, after all, he didn’t see these people as human. He saw them as “other”. He saw them as less than and because you are on your high horse now…you are still culpable. We all are. We allowed this to happen, yet again.

Dylann Roof is a monster but we allowed the monster to exist. We tolerated his behavior like so many others before him. We allow our fellow human beings to be treated like animals. We don’t stand up until it is in rage when it is staring us back in the face. Then we settle back into our new normal and we move on with our lives. What we need to do is get outraged and never stop being outraged at this blatant racism and hatred and never stop until it is eradicated.

Racism isn’t just limited to African Americans. What about Latinos? What about women? What about the Jews? What about every single minority in America that has to stay quiet and behave and have condescension and disgust shoved down their throats as they are dared to say anything other than, “Thank you, may I have another?” Because to do anything other than that could result in retaliation. Mutiny. Revolt. Civil war. But we’re getting to a point where something has to change.

Have you been to the south? In the south, the confederate flag flies proudly. People have no qualms about using ethnic slurs out in public, loud and some ignorantly proud. I know this happens everywhere in the United States but in the south it is particularly tolerated. Racism is so hateful to me that I have moved beyond wanting tolerance, I am demanding equality for all human beings.

Caucasians feel as if the minorities are stealing their country, their jobs and their women from them. But I have news for you; America is made up of every single race in the world. There is no “pure” race. There is no superior race because we are all mixed and we are all humans so like it or not, we are all equal in our value as human beings. Are some people better than others? Sure, but that has nothing to do with race, religion or sexual preference and if you think it does, then, my friend, you are not one of the better people.

The Daily Show
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Jon Stewart said he is sad. The entire country is momentarily wrought with sadness. Me, I’m sad but mostly I’m pissed off. I am fighting mad because I can’t understand how in 2015 this is still happening? How can we look ourselves in the mirror knowing that we are allowing this to happen over and over again, even making excuses for the behavior? How can people still treat other PEOPLE as less than?

What kind of upbringing did Dylann Roof have that made it all right in his head to walk into a house of God and murder innocent, unsuspecting, defenseless people? How do you pull a trigger and snuff out a person’s life for no other reason than the color of their skin? What kind of monster must you be? Look in the mirror, if it takes anything less than the rest of your entire life to get over this…you are part of the problem.

Stop feeling sad and starting feeling mad. Start feeling indignant and lower your tolerance for this kind of bigotry. I feel sick and vulnerable walking around in a world where at any moment someone can shoot someone else dead, rape them, maim them in public, no less, and suffer no real fear of consequence.

Prison is not a deserved consequence because it is too good for this type of murderer. He has already done the damage. He has already destroyed 9 families. That can’t be undone. The prisons are filled with young African American men put there by a society who thinks they belong in cages. I hope they put Dylann Roof in general population and I hope that he gets the justice that he deserves.

Our current racial situation is dire.

“Gaping Racial wound that will not heal, yet we pretend that it does not exist!”

“I’m confident though by acknowledging it, by staring into that and seeing it for what it is, we still won’t do jack shit!” Jon Stewart

I’m starting to feel like the civil rights victories of the 60’s were nothing but a ruse to pacify the unsettled and uncooperative militants who had the balls to fight for equality. I’m beginning to feel like equality in the United States is a farce.

The problem of race in America is not a new one. Our country is a menagerie of different people from different countries from around the world. The only thing we have in common is that we are all from some place else. We are every shade of the rainbow. In theory, we should be the happiest and most evolved place in the world. Instead, we still hate what we can’t personally identify with. Rather than embrace difference, we try to eradicate it. I say no more.

Please don’t let your outrage at this racist murderer fade. Don’t let the Charleston Massacre be forgotten. Don’t let these innocent men and women have died in vain like so many before them. We’ve been here before, let’s not be here again.

What will you do to help heal the gaping racial wound that exists in America?

How do we prevent another Charleston Shooting?

2015/06/19 0 comment

Tech

Hottest Father’s Day Tech Gifts

by Deborah Cruz 2015/06/18

written by Deborah Cruz

Can you believe that Father’s Day is in 4 days? Me, neither. The Big Guy is hard to buy for. He’s easy in the way that he is a complete tech nerd and loves all things gadget and tech related, especially if he doesn’t need it and especially if it’s out of the ordinary, extremely small or completely unnecessary. Don’t ask me why, he just likes things that are definitely out of the box. I’m pretty sure if he could pick any time period to live in, it would be the time of the Jetsons.

I made a list of all of the really cool tech that dad might like this Father’s Day.

From the obvious to the obscure, if you have a hard to buy for dad in your life who just loves to always have the latest and greatest tech gadgets, boy have I got a list for you for this Father’s Day.

For the Golfer Dad:

OptiShot2 Golf Simulator

OptiShot® Golf allows golfers from around the world to compete against each other on any of the 43 To-the-Tee™ exclusive and private championship course replicas in the OptiShot Golf Course library. Each course provides a realistic and fully immersive 3D environment for play or practice. With OptiShot2, users have the ability to play the same championship holes the top PGA pros are playing on TV, as well as compete in a tournament of their own with OptiShot Live.

With the new OptiShot Live feature, users can play 18 holes on the world’s most famous courses with friends, family and competitors all over the world without ever leaving the comfort of their home or office. This award-winning golf simulator uses the latest in analytic and shot tracer technology with an easy to use interface to create the ultimate real-world golf experience. Compact in size and cost, the OptiShot2 requires no elaborate setup, works with every club in your bag and is compatible with Mac and Windows. With the goal of providing the best real golf experience, OptiShot2 provides technology consistent with professional simulators in a package designed for consumers.

Optishot has launched the OptiShot Tour featuring weekly events and on-going competitions all played on To-the-Tee™ replicas of PGA Tour courses. The PLAYERS Championship course is this week’s tour stop. Just login in to your OptiShot and play the corresponding course anytime from Thursday 12:00am EST – Monday 3:00am EST to be automatically entered for a chance to win free OptiShot Courses for life!

OptiShot Golf Simulator is available at premium golf retailers and online at store.optishotgolf.com.

Zepp 3D Multi-Sport Motion Sensor and Platform

The Zepp 3D Multi-Sport Motion Sensor is wearable sensor that allows dad to review and replay his swing in 360º and HD video, while providing detailed analysis and trend reports sent straight to any iOS® or Android device so he can improve.

Users can review and replay their swing in 360 degrees and see their swing in HD Video.

Then they can compare their swings to pro athletes. The 3D motion sensor easily attaches to any bat, club, or racket using innovative sport-specific mounts. Sensor wirelessly transmits data to a smartphone or tablet via Bluetooth after every swing.

Your guys not into golf? No problem. The Zepp 3-D Multi-Sport motion sensor is for everyone.

Baseball: track bat speed, path, timing, angles at impact, trends and more

Golf:track speed, tempo, club plane, hand path, backswing position, hip rotation and more
Tennis:track shot type mix (serve, forehand, backhand, smash), power and spin (topspin, slice, flat) and more
Able to compare swings to pros and friends and share your swing data with others
Zeppapplication records critical data and provides analysis, personalized tips, drills and coaching

For the Audiophile Dad:

Cambridge Audio: TV5 – TV Speaker Base

We bought an awesome 55-inch television last Christmas to hang above our mantle, the only thing is the sound quality is awful. The picture is amazing but the sound is like it’s coming through a tunnel. If you have this situation going on why not have the best of both worlds?

Get room-filling home theater sound all from one cabinet and Bluetooth streaming speaker, the Cambridge Audio TV5 speaker base? It’s suitable for use with most flat-panel TVs up to 55 – 60”

It has 100 watt Class D digital amplifier with less than 0.5 watt standby power consumption.

The TV5 also features multiple audio modes for ultra-clear voice reproduction with movies and music and two 2.25” Balanced Mode Radiators (BMR) provide clear sound plus dual 6.5″ powered subwoofers are built-in for deep bass.

Torque Audio’s t103z Headphones

For the music lover looking for something new check out the t103z from Torque Audio. These fully customizable ear buds feature Passive Acoustic Valve Technology so you can swap out TorqueValves™ for a totally individualized listening experience. Use the deep valve for thumping lows, clear valve for crisp highs or the reference valve for a balanced sound. If he likes playing videogames, you can give him the best under $100 gaming headset.

SOUL Electronics: Run Free Pro

Bluetooth headphones appeal to fitness-enthusiasts with comfort and wireless fit. My husband is not a runner but he does walk and move around his office quite frequently and with these he canmove around without worrying about getting hung up or knocking stuff over with the cord.

The Run Free Pro headphones are guaranteed to stay on when active with the first interchangeable ear lock system for custom size and fit, so no more inconvenience of headphones popping out on the run. Wind noise reduction technology allows listeners to listen to music without wind interference while on the go. It also features a sporty and fashionable waterproof design with up to 8 hours of battery life.

The ergonomic remote control with integrated mic for music control and hands free taking make life super easy for dads on the go.

Grace Digital: aptX™ Bluetooth 4.0 Bookshelf Speakers
The aptX Bluetooth 4.0 Bookshelf Speakers are perfect for the dad who just wants to rock out in his office while he “gets some work done.” Sure there may be some air guitar happening but these speakers are crafted with a sleek leatherette casing, modern, compact and lightweight Bluetooth bookshelf speakers that seamlessly stream room filling sound from any Bluetooth compatible device. Simply put, they are awesome.

Engineered for in-home use with full range, CD quality audio, providing a high-quality indoor music experience where portable/outdoor speakers typically fall short. You can pair up to 8 devices via Bluetooth 4.0, with a range of 30 ft

Bonus, while dad’s rocking out he can conveniently use the USB jack on the speakers to charge his mobile device, while still rocking out. It’s the perfect gift for the dad who loves music.

For the Photographer Dad:

Large Power CapXule by Xsories

Summer is the perfect time for the photo-centric dad to get out and start shooting again. But who wants to have to cut their day short because of lost power? Not only will the Large Power CapXule from XSORIES comfortably hold and organize all your gear, the clever case comes with an on-board 2800mAh power bank to get your camera or phone charged in a pinch.

The New Dad:

Izon View Cam

Do you know a new papa who can’t stand being away from the little one while he is at work all day? Keep Dad connected to what matters most with the Izon View an app controlled home video monitor that enables dad to check in on the little ones from anywhere in the world. The Izon View is a great gift for fur parents too!

For the Dad who Loves the Newest and Coolest Tech Toys:

XSORIES: X-Project Wi-Fi

The X-Project WiFi Projector is a Wi-Fi enabled Pocket Projector that shares and displays HD Video from anywhere. It is a portable projector that’s small enough to fit in the palm of your hand. It’s perfect for summer outdoor movie nights because you can wirelessly share HD videos and images directly from online sources, SD cards and/or USB sticks. With it’s 100-lumen LED it projects brilliant color and high-contrast images. Xsories took compact tech to the next level because the X-Project is certainly small but mighty and will bring a smile to your outdoorsy family man.

There are so many cool high tech gifts for dad this Father’s day but these are my tops for the Big Guy!

What will you getting the Fathers in your life this Father’s Day?

Disclosure: I was provided some of the product for review purposes but all opinions and love of tech for Father’s Day are my own.

2015/06/18 1 comment

Tech

GoPro this Father’s Day

by Deborah Cruz 2015/06/17

written by Deborah Cruz

Do you have a GoPro? Father’s Day is coming up this weekend and some dads, like the Big Guy, are complete techies. He loves to have all the latest and greatest gadgets. Believe me when I say there is a list a mile long of great Father’s Day gifts that my husband would like to have but at the top of his list is the GoPro HERO+ LCD.

I have a GoPro HERO4 Black and I love it.

It’s been the best thing for documenting our family adventures since I got it. The only thing that I wish it had was an LCD screen. While the camera itself is amazing, I always wished that I could have the instant gratification of seeing what I was shooting as I was shooting it but I was willing to overlook it. The new GoPro HERO + LCD has everything, great quality and instant gratification.

We all know that Best Buy is the destination for the latest cameras and camcorders, and now that includes the new GoPro HERO+LCD arriving in stores just in time for this Father’s Day.

The new GoPro camera is perfect for capturing sweet family moments, long summer breaks and every journey that lies ahead. It is the perfect gift for the man who wants to capture incredible moments and relive them on the spot with the LCD display.

You can help dad capture his adventures and relive them with the new GoPro HERO+ LCD—featuring:

1080p60 video, 8MP photos and built-in Wi-Fi, plus the convenience of a touch display.
Built-in Wi-Fi and Bluetooth® connect to the GoPro App for shot preview, total camera control and easy content sharing to Instagram, Facebook, and more.

Great Father’s Day Offers include:

HERO+LCD (Sku 6954009) with free 32GB Extreme Plus memory card (Sku 9387066). Valid 6/14-6/20
Free $50 Best Buy Gift Card with purchase of the GoPro HERO4 Silver (Sku 8374096) or GoPro HERO4 Black (Sku 8374078). Valid 6/7-6/20

What’s at the top of your dad’s Father’s Day list?

Disclaimer: The reviewer has been compensated in the form of a Best Buy Gift Card and/or received the product/service at a reduced price or for free but all opinions of the GoPro Hero+LCD are my own.

2015/06/17 0 comment

Travel

Summer Vacation Blues and How to Cure Them

by Deborah Cruz 2015/06/17

written by Deborah Cruz

I am just getting back from the first mini summer vacation; this one was 11 days. Not actually so mini.Our summer vacation started off with 7 days in Nashville, Tennessee and capped off with 4 days in beautiful Charlotte, North Carolina with great friends (I’ll write you some great travel posts about that over the next few weeks but today we’re focusing on how hard it is to come back to reality.) I have to be honest, it was exhilarating but reentry is HARD! Really hard. Like I feel like I’m moving through molasses hard.

I barely looked at my social media except for sharing a couple of photos on Instagram (because my phone was out of actual storage space) and I went a little overboard on Periscope (@DeborahCruz you have to watch the video about the drive thru safari. There is nothing quite so funny/frightening as a Bison sticking his head into your car trying to eat your tiny people.) This vacation gave me a chance to decompress and look at things a little softer and less cynical. I saw the beauty instead of the time consumption.

I’ve been back from summer vacation for 24 hours and I just can’t get back into the swing of things. I miss exploring a strange town, hanging with great people and being unplugged. Coming home and back to my reality of cleaning house, obligations and deadlines is hard. Reentry into the real world and the summer vacation blues are real.

You know, getting caught up in the grind is what keeps us going. Every day we get up, do our thing and power on to the next. It becomes old hat and we do it because we are supposed to. We never step back and deeply inhale, enjoy the moment. We can’t because every moment precedes another moment. There is always something else pressing to be done; whether it be meeting with a neighbor, checking a status, writing a post or just getting dinner done. Life is full of obligations.

The problem is when you actually do take those moments to enjoy your life, the minutes, the days the people that surround you; then you realize what you are missing and this is what is causing my raging case of summer vacation blues. We left our bubble.

We were outside enjoying the summer weather, noticing all of the new sights and sounds around us. Trying new foods, talking to new people and doing new things. We were completely out of our comfort zone and I loved every moment of it. The girls were enthralled, in the moment and never stopped exploring and engaging. The truth is that if you stop to enjoy every moment of life, it goes slower and it is actually so good that you can’t help but want it to last forever. It usually is, we just never notice because we are stuck in the minutia.

My husband and I have had the conversation that when you are in your teens and twenties, you spend your life looking for someone to love and spend your life with. You just want that all consuming, never ending happiness but you never realize (until you have it) that THAT kind of love has a price. When you truly love and enjoy something so much, it can be your undoing. The same way slowing down and going on vacation can be your undoing. You change your perspective and you change your expectations and your limitations.

I married the man I love and I have my daughters but with that I learned that the price of that happiness, that gift, is that if I lose them, it’s not something I am sure I can bounce back from because once you’ve gone there, you can’t go back. Once you’ve seen the world in living color, it’s impossible to go back to black and white.

When you go on vacation and really enjoy it, it makes it glaringly obvious how unmagical your reality is. I know the purpose of vacation is to rest and relax but it makes the price of not resting and never relaxing almost too much to bear. I came home and it’s been raining since we returned, there are no new and exciting anything, there are no old friends to love and consort with and there are bills, responsibilities. Life seems less bright. Maybe we are gypsies but we all agree on this point.

The time with old friends was amazing, however now I am left feeling more than a little deflated because it reminded me of just how much I miss them. The places we stayed on our summer vacation were beautiful, vibrant and ethereal because we were in a dream. Reality is like a room filled with fluorescent light, it gets the job done but it is severely lacking the magic factor.

I have the summer vacation blues but there are some things I can do to cure them.

Take more time to enjoy the moments. Consciously, make the effort.
Explore your own town. There are a million places that I’ve never been or eaten or explored within 2 hours driving distance but I will.
Go out of your comfort zone. Obviously what is comfortable is good but it makes us complacent. I am sick of complacency.
Try something new. Introduce yourself to the new neighbor, visit a local gallery or the new Ethiopian restaurant that just opened. Go to see the live bands play in the park.
Do it all while taking it all in. Don’t power through life, soak it in. Bask in it like the warmth of the summer sun.

Life might feel ordinary and boring after an exciting summer vacation but if you look, if you stop and breathe for a moment, you can always find the extraordinary right beneath the surface of the ordinary people, places and things.

How do you cure the summer vacation blues?

2015/06/17 0 comment

Tech

4K that will take TV Viewing to the Next Level

by Deborah Cruz 2015/06/07

written by Deborah Cruz

I have been compensated in the form of a Best Buy Gift Card and/or received the product/service at a reduced price or for free.

As many of you may know, I am a little tech crazy. I always want the latest and greatest tech available. It’s a disease; I caught it from my husband. I swear, when I met him in college he practically had to pry my hands off of my word processor because, hello, who needs a computer when you could type all of your research papers on a state of the art word processor. However, that is no longer the case. I want all the newest tech gadgets and I want them now.

One of my favorite things about the evolution of hi tech is that it is about more than just new innovation Samsung SUHD TV. It’s about taking your television experience to the next level. If you are looking for home cinema installation company in Toronto, you can visit https://tvwallmounting.ca/ in order to benefit from high quality tv installation and tv mounting services at affordable prices.

The 4K is more than just a television it is a viewing experience which is visible immediately if you’ve had the chance to just go to a Best Buy and check it out for yourself.

Here are a few features that I think we could use to complete our vacation.

Reveal more colors and a brighter picture with Samsung 4K SUHD TV – all powered by a revolutionary panel featuring Nano-crystal technology. The immersive curved screen portrays a greater sense of depth. Easily access the content you love with the advanced Samsung Smart TV.
You can enjoy a brighter, more true-to-life picture with a wider range of colors
Peak Illuminator Pro for enhanced picture detail and color
Improved black levels and contrast for a greater sense of depth
4 times the resolution of full HD

Do you love twitter parties? @BestBuy and Brand Ambassador @dodomesticdad will be hosting an SUHD Twitter Party on Thursday June 9th at 7:00pm CST. Feel free to join the twitter party for a chance to receive Best Buy gift cards.

If you shop at select 4K special events, you can even experience this amazing product in person in the store. Right now, you can see an exclusive sneak peek of Jurassic World in Samsung Entertainment Experience Shops inside Best Buy.

And don’t forget to register for our twitter party on June 9^th, 2015 at 6/9 at 7PM CST. RSVP here: https://bit.ly/1ecE5Ru

I’ll be there, I hope you are too!

2015/06/07 0 comment

ballet camp, how to survive camp, ballet, sports, Starkist, Hershey's, S'mores, summer, family, traditions, fireflies, campfire

Food

Hershey’s and Catching Fireflies are what Summer is Made For

by Deborah Cruz 2015/06/05

written by Deborah Cruz

This is a compensated post for MarketVision and its advertiser Hershey’s. All opinions are mine alone.

Summer time is here, though you might not know that if you live in the Midwest. Our weather has been more unpredictable than Lady Gaga on stage. You just never know what’s going to happen. However, one thing we do from spring until autumn, whether it’s 50 degrees or 90 degrees, is stay up late, sit around a campfire roasting marshmallows under clear skies and talk about everything. Doesn’t everyone?

This is a tradition that my husband and I have done every year since becoming parents. It started out as a way to just relax after the babies went to sleep, when we first became parents because back then there wasn’t a lot of time for just us. It was a way to be home but enjoy some alone time (well, until the baby started crying and needed one of us, anyways).

As the girls got a little older, they loved sitting around the campfire in their tiny kid’s chairs, in their pj’s as we roasted marshmallows for them and made s’mores. Sure, eating s’mores at bedtime is not the most responsible thing to do with toddlers but boy, did they love it. The night ended with two little ones, up way past their bedtime, passed out in our laps, smelling of campfire and tiny cheeks covered in bits of marshmallow and smears of chocolate. It may not have been the responsible thing to do but it was the right thing to do for making childhood memories.

It’s hard when your child’s bedtime is 7 p.m. but it doesn’t get dark until 9 p.m. We could never be the parents who made our kids miss out on catching lightening bugs. There’s just something intrinsically peaceful about sitting around a fire under the night sky, as children clamor about the backyard collecting fireflies as adults swap stories. A night filled with laughter is absolutely magical.

These days the girls are a little older and bedtime in the summertime is whenever you fall asleep. We spend lots of time outside in our backyard under a blanket of stars. Most nights you will find us with the people we love the most sitting around a fire pit roasting marshmallows for s’mores as the smell of burning wood fills the air and the sound of a crackling fire serenades us. The girls aren’t sitting on our laps as much these days but they’re never far away, usually within a few feet, watching movies under the stars and giggling with their girlfriends over whatever PG movie is playing in the yard that night.

Our girls are growing up fast. Life goes by too fast. But there is one thing we can always count on, summertime and time together in our backyard. Bonding over Hershey’s, graham crackers and marshmallows since 2005.

If you love Hershey’s S’mores as much as we do, you can enter a Hershey’s S’mores Grilling Gift gift set here! So enter and start your summer tradition of Hershey’s s’mores which is sure to bring your family closer together.

Even if you don’t win, everyone can use the above coupon to get $.50 off your next purchase.

Let Hershey’s be a part of your family traditions.

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2015/06/05 0 comment

Entertainment Parenting

Caitlyn Jenner through the Eyes of a Child

by Deborah Cruz 2015/06/04

written by Deborah Cruz

The photo above is my favorite of Caitlyn Jenner because I can see a smile. As a mom, I am not perfect. Far from it. I’ve done a lot of things wrong. I’ve yelled.Hell, I’ve roared so loudly that I scared my kids. My kids have been known to blurt out the occasional profanity.Patience is not one of my virtues, not even a little bit. I get grouchy when I get overwhelmed and sometimes I say things that I wish I hadn’t but I love my kids and I’m trying my best to raise good solid, caring, citizens of the world.

I let my kids see me make mistakes and apologize. I let them see me fall and get back up. I let them see that to succeed at anything, it takes a lot of hard work but at the same time, anything is possible if you are willing to do the work. I teach my kids that actions have consequences, lying is a terrible flaw that breaks trust and somethings can’t be undone. I teach them to forgive but remind them that it is impossible to forget so think carefully before you say or do something terrible to someone.

I teach my girls that parental love is unconditional but that life is not fair. Life is cruel and hard at times. People can be mean and small minded. They know this is not how we choose to live. I try to open their minds and hearts to everything because there is so much wonderful to see in the world and by narrowing their capacity for caring, I am minimizing their chance for happiness.

When I saw Caitlyn Jenner on the Cover of Vanity Fair on Monday, my first thought was, “She did it. She can finally be herself.” That is huge for anyone but especially for someone who has been living life in the wrong body for 65 years.

It takes balls (no pun intended) to transform. But to do it when your life is lived so publicly takes a special kind of bravery and courage because you know, for a fact, that the entire world is judging you. The entire world is watching and, in most cases, waiting for you to fail.

Most people would have just given up on the dream of living the way they wanted because 65-years-old is pretty late in life to start over. It’s retirement age. I guess in that way it is the perfect time to start living for yourself. She earned it.

I found it sickening how this momentous occasion was reduced to, “Wow! She looks amazing!” Caitlyn Jenner does look amazing but even if she was the ugliest woman alive, she was finally a woman. She was finally living in the skin that she felt comfortable in. This whole thing was not about vanity. It was about living the life you are meant to live because without doing so; you are not living at all. Why society feels that it is okay to reduce everything about women down to what lies between our legs, the size of our asses and what we look like rather than our earned accomplishments is beyond me.

I am very open with my girls about everything because I don’t think hiding reality from them is doing them any favors. They are Latina and female and one day they will be Latina women, which means no matter how you slice it, they will always be a minority.

They are 8 and 10-years-old and they already understand what many adults are unwilling to accept; that people are male and female and sometimes the outsides don’t match the insides, all people love differently, people look differently, people worship differently, people come from different countries, speak different languages but they know that we all share one very important trait…we are all humans and deserve to be treated with respect and human kindness.

I am trying my best to raise good people. Children who are tolerant, understanding and accepting of differences. I want my children to recognize differences and embrace them. I don’t believe in a blind world but I do believe in a world where we can love one another for who we are as human beings and what race we are, who we worship, who we love or where we come from should not factor into that equation. I want my children to see deeper than just what people “appear” to be because I want them to see each person they meet as an individual. This is how I am raising my daughters.

They’ve been following the Caitlyn Jenner story with me and I explained that Bruce was born in a man’s body but has always felt like a woman on the inside. I explained it by asking them if they were born into a boy’s body how would they feel and what would they do. They said they would be unhappy and feel uncomfortable. I explained that was exactly how Caitlyn has felt for 65 years and they said, “Then he should change his outsides to match his insides.” Children see everything so simply because they have not formed all of the prejudices of the world. They hear that someone is unhappy and they immediately think, “Go find your bliss!” I love that about them.

When I showed them the photos of Caitlyn’s transformation, because they had already seen the photos of him pre-transformation, they both said she looked pretty and they smiled. My oldest said, “ I bet she’s happy now because she looks like what she feels like.” There was no scoffing or snickering or confusion. My girls got it. Caitlyn is who Bruce always was on the inside. They were not baffled or amazed or surprised. They thought it was great and then they went on about their business. As a mom, I feel like I’m doing something right.

I love that they don’t think that Caitlyn Jenner is something to break the Internet or even blow their minds but instead a beautiful metamorphosis of a person into whom she was always meant to be. I love that they think this was no big deal because everyone should be able to go get their happy. I know what a big deal it was but wouldn’t it be beautiful if we could all live in a world where we could be ourselves, get our happy, and no one scoffed or judged?

How would you explain the Caitlyn Jenner transformation to your children?

Photos of Caitlyn Jenner via Vanity Fair

2015/06/04 2 comments

your truth is a lie, moms and daughters, comparing yourself to your mother

Beauty Humor

Gray Hairs in Weird Places and Other Surprises of Being an Adult

by Deborah Cruz 2015/06/02

written by Deborah Cruz

It started with 3 gray hairs. I got my first one when I was 30 and I joked to the Big Guy that he was to blame. With each child, another gray hair appeared. And then one day, it was like the three gray hairs got together and decided that it was their sworn duty to populate the right side of my head. At first, for many years, I plucked my three gray hairs. I took joy in knowing that many women younger than I had many more gray hairs. Not that I took joy in their misfortune but I had to enjoy the small victories, afterall, the baby weight wasn’t going anywhere.

But now, if I try to pluck all the gray hairs, I will have a definitely noticeable bald spot because when half your head is bald…people tend to notice. F*CK! I gave in and I dyed it. No biggie. I dyed it in my 20’s all the time, you know, to make it maroon or red or highlight the hell out of it. Back when I had money for such luxuries. Those were the days, back when I got massages, manicures, pedicures and was always tanned. For many years, I gave up the nails because long nails and babies don’t mix ( same reason I gave up the dangly earrings) it was just too dangerous to chance.

I went back to manicures and pedicures but I just don’t have the time in my schedule to go get my nails filled every two weeks and I refuse to not, so I spent 3 hours removing them myself Friday night. OUCH! I love pedicures but now, I’m obsessed with flesh eating disease and I just can’t enjoy myself. It’s like eating a Big Mac, too damn risky. Then tanning, well, of course, I’ll be the freckled Mexican to get melanoma and that just scares me too much. Spray tan it is. Wait, but then someone might have to see my in a bikini because I’m not crazy for the Oompa Loompa look of the spray tan booths. So, pasty and pale it is with a side of freckles please, govner.

But back to my gray hairs.

I suppose when I get the time this summer, I will go spend the $200 to have my hair cut and dyed. I can wait. And then it happened. As I was plucking my womanstache ( because even though I’m seemingly going bald from plucking my grays on my head, the hair on my upper lip is going stronger and darker than ever) I noticed my eye brows needed sorting out after the explosive cyst debacle. That’s when I saw it…a gray hair in my eyebrow. Wait! Not one but two!!! What am I Santa? Guess where it was? The right side of my face. The left side was the swollen explosive side last week. Maybe it’s time for me to try some Womens Vitamins for Hair Loss and overall hair health.

To add insult to injury, just as my vision is now clear as a bell, I noticed the unthinkable…a white eyelash! What the? Is that even a thing? Thank God I’m hardwood down below because if I ever see a gray pubic hair, I may just die of old age on the spot!

My question to you is does the salon offer services for dying rogue gray hairs in your lash and brow area because I need that service. It took me 20 minutes to single out that one silver lash. Glad that I found Advanced Regenerative Medicine of Idaho hair loss treatment to aid in this dilemma.

You know when I was a kid, I used to say that I was half White and Half Mexican ( because I am a half breed…insert Cher song here) and I would draw an imaginary line down the center of my body. My parents are 65 and my dad only has a couple gray hairs and barely a crows foot. My mom’s family gray in their 20’s. I think I’ve finally figured out which side is which…the right side is definitely my Caucasian side and the explosive left side, is definitely my Latina side.

Don’t even get me started on my achy bones, dark spots and skin tags. Getting old sucks. Thank goodness for wisdom and alcohol. I’m looking forward to the inevitable dementia that will set in and cause me to forget all of this.

What caused your first gray hairs?

2015/06/02 3 comments

Entertainment

Netflix Hit the Mark with Grace and Frankie

by Deborah Cruz 2015/05/30

written by Deborah Cruz

I am a proud member of the Netflix #StreamTeam but all opinions and binge watching of Grace and Frankie were all my own.

As many of you might have read, this month has been quite a bit of crazy. It was non-stop go-go-go until life intervened and brought it all to a screeching halt when life hit me right in the eye with a nasty infection and no, that’s not a sexy euphemism for anything. At first, I was freaking out because I had so much to do and found myself completely out of commission. Add to that the antibiotics that had the side effect of not only destroying my digestive system but had the added effect of spontaneous narcolepsy. I guess it wasn’t too bad, especially since the vision in my left eye was blurry and I couldn’t work anyways because…you need sight to work on the Internet to see all the sees. I found myself partially blind and almost completely unplugged. It was like it was 1987.

Anyways, I spent my week and a half laying on my couch contemplating my imminent demise, adapting to the new unimproved elephant man face that I was sure to be sporting for eternity and feeling sorry for myself so I did what anyone in my position would do, I binge watched Netflix with my one good eye, in between trips to the bathroom, crying and naps. I finished season one of Bloodline so I had to find something else to distract me.

I kept thinking about my poor kids being known at school as the kids of the lady with the weird face. I felt like Gilbert Grape’s Mom. Then I started trying to rationalize the situation. Hey, there are kids with two mommies, two daddies, or a mommy, daddy and a step mommy and/or daddy. Some kids live with their grandparents and some live with aunts and uncles. My kids would just be the kids from the family with the super tall dad and the mom with the weird face who does that crazy thing “blogging” for a living. I needed to get out of my head so I searched for something to make me feel better. I needed something to put my “weird face” mom status in perspective. I need something to make me laugh, cry and get out of my own head.

I found Grace and Frankie.

Netflix’s new funny and fearless original comedy featuring Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Martin Sheen and Sam Waterston, is a perfect example of how today’s families can shift, rearrange and blend in unexpected ways. When Grace and Frankie’s husbands, who are in their 70’s, leave them after 40+ years of marriage—to be with each other—the women find themselves facing a change that they never expected, especially at this point in their lives. But they shift their perspective to get through it together with the support of their new blended family and, of course, a wicked sense of humor.

Grace and Frankie is a testament to women supporting women, sisterhood overcoming all the unexpected hardships, shifts and changes that life throws our way. Friends are what sustain us throughout life. It starts on the playground and goes on throughout our lifetimes. Shared experiences and memories only strengthen that bond.

It is also a beautiful reminder that families come in all shapes, sizes, sexual preferences, colors and beliefs. Family are the people who stand beside you, love you and support you and that is all that matters. It’s more than blood and genetics, it’s love and friendship.

Grace and Frankie had me laughing so hard and then crying the next. Life is beautiful and wonderful and unexpected. Life is messy and complicated and not usually what we planned for. In the end, we need to be happy and loved, the heart wants what the heart wants and the heart doesn’t adhere to social norms or expectations. Grace and Frankie is by far one of my favorite new shows on Netflix.

I also found another brand new show that I’m hooked on, Between, which is Sci-Fi series starring Jennette McCurdy. A mysterious disease strikes a small town’s adult population in this tense-sci-fi drama. Pretty Lake’s teenagers think they have their futures in sight with college, the military and even motherhood. But suddenly the town’s grownups start dropping like flies from some unknown plague and the government quarantines the town. Survivors quickly realize that they are trapped, no one is allowed in or out and they are going to have to figure out how to survive on their own, with no adult supervision or guidance. I’ve only seen one episode because unlike most Netflix series, this series is weekly but from what I’ve seen totally worth it. And don’t forget, Orange is the New Black is back on June 12, 2015. I will definitely be watching, will you?

Deborah Cruz

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How would you explain the Caitlyn Jenner transformation to your children?

Photos of Caitlyn Jenner via Vanity Fair

But back to my gray hairs.

What caused your first gray hairs?

I am a proud member of the Netflix #StreamTeam but all opinions and binge watching of Grace and Frankie were all my own.

I found Grace and Frankie.

What did you think of Grace and Frankie?