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Truthful/Tell all Tuesdays; Round two!

by Deborah Cruz

Good morning and happy Tuesday to you all. It’s been a long week of carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Here’s where Mommies can come to vent and get rid of some of that unwanted weight, metaphorically speaking anyways. Though, the more I think of it, there could very well be a link between carrying the weight of the world and holding a little extra baggage around our middles! But that’s another post altogether! LOL Today, we’re gathered here to vent and unload. You can comment anonymously if you prefer. I just want you to get it off your chest and off your mind. You’ll feel better, I promise. I’ll go first; Sometimes, when my 4 year old goes all Miley Cyrus mouthy on me and proclaims ( at the top of her lungs, no less) “I hate you Mother(Mudd-Da)!!” , usually for the infraction of telling her it’s time to put away her toys and go to bed ( apparently between 3-4, that became a crime punishable by death).On “those” occassions, sometimes I wish I wouldn’t be given the worst mother of the year award and could in fact respond , ” Oh yeah sister? Well..,ME friggin Too!!!!!!!” Of course, I wouldn’t mean it by any means( well not past that instant anyways)but it sure would be refreshing to have the option:) Wow! I feel better already just sharing it with you girls.Thanks for the love and support. Next time, let’s do this over coffee! Oh sweet catharsis, have a delightfully guilt free day of mothering! I know I plan to!

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Peg 2010/02/02 - 9:42 am

I love these Tuesdays. No judgement…right? Well, I am not one of those Mom's who just loves having my kids home all day every day. I don't cry about them growing up. I don't want them to stay dependent on me. I am counting the days until they are both in school full time and I can have some time to do something that is only about me…a job, volunteering for a cause I believe in, etc. I had my first child at 37 and feel that the incredibly successful, idependent, intellegent woman I was is now invisible. Don't get me wrong..I decided to quit my job and stay home with my kids. My husband and I have gladly made sacrifces to do it (he drives a '95 Camry with 175,000 miles on it), but I am ready for it to be over.

Anonymous 2010/02/02 - 11:40 am

I totally yelled at my child yesterday while a neighbor child was over. Not only that, I yelled at the neighbor too (thinking it was my other child) when she tried to tell me what happened (I didn't ask). When the neighbor left, I told my daughters that when a friend is being corrected in their own home, don't but in! I felt really guilty about it last night but told my girls that if you back talk me and disobey me, I will punish you and yell at you if needed no matter who is around.

Truthful Mommy 2010/02/02 - 10:21 am

Absolutely no judgement!You are only saying what I am sure many of us have thought on several occassions. Don't get me wrong, I am happy for those women who can be completely satisfied with the role of motherhood. It is an awesome job but its a hard one and if we say we never wanted a day off, I think we'd be liars:)Well, at least I would be. I too, though I am one of the ones who still gets all weepy eyed at the thought of my girls growing up too fast, do find myself looking forward to the day when I can revolve my existence around me again. I have been working hard these last few months to try and do something for just me…working out, actually going out with my friends (something I felt too guilty to do for a long time…4 years to be exact), and writing this blog. It may be somewhat about my girls, but the writing is for me! It makes me feel like I am pursuing my dream in some small way. You are an awesome Mommy for taking on the challenge of being a stay at home, and for having kids at all. It's a big sacrifice but its not without its rewards,though I know on some days…it does feel relentless! I say start small, find one thing that you can do that is just for Peg and give it at least 20 minutes a day..then build from there.I know 20 minutes sounds like the blink of an eye but believe me, 20 minutes all to yourself is an amazing 20 minutes!

Anonymous 2010/02/02 - 5:53 pm

I started having my children at a very young age and though I enjoyed them most of the time, I had my times when I wished I would have waited. I seldom got any free time for myself, no one really took them very often to give me a break and at times I was completly overwhelmed. I often found myself thinking that by the time I was 40 they would all be grown and then it would be time for me. Enter Round 2, my beautiful grandson who lives with me and I wouldn't change that for anything but yet I am finding once again that I can't seem to get any "me" time. I am once again going through the whole ordeal of no one wanting to give me a much needed break.. I work long hours, come home, do homework, give baths, read books before bed and everyone seems to think that is how it should be. That is everyone except me..I am not the typical grandmother I guess. I want to lay on the couch and read a magazine from time to time is that too much to ask ?????? signed exhausted

Parenting ad absurdum 2010/02/03 - 3:06 pm

I love the idea of a judgment free space – I think we all need to work harder and making fewer judgments about ourselves and others as parents – we're all in this together!


Truthful Mommy 2010/02/03 - 6:32 pm

1st Anonymous,
I think it is absolutely fabulous that you yelled at the neighbor's kid:) Apparently, that child is allowed to stick their nose into grown folks business.Not in my house! Don't beat yourself up a bout it, you probably taught that kid a valuable life lesson.You may have just saved them form a busted nose as an adult. We all have those crazy days where every thing is chaotic, the house is falling down around us, the kids are screaming, and the dogs barking. You are not alone. Cut yourself some slack,Your kids will forgive you for your minor meltdown and we are all entitled to them on occasion!!! Hugs and a couple of glasses of wine may be the remedy for what ails ya! Tomorrow will be better!

Truthful Mommy 2010/02/03 - 6:37 pm

Wow! You need a break. You've raised your kiddos and now you are being an awesomer than awesome Grandma!That Grand baby of yours is lucky to have you on their side. I think you need to get a sitter or maybe just one of those neighbor tweens who can be a "mommy's helper" and let her come over and play with your Grandson while you take a hot soak, and then lie in bed ( in peace in quiet knowing someone else is watching him) and read those magazines. Mommy's helpers are pretty cheap and well worth it, if you can get a few much needed minutes to yourself. Hope you get some "me" time soon.Sometimes we have to take some me time so we can be better for them:) Hugs!


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