There truly is an art to being a mother. We may not realize it in all of it’s pulchritudinous as it is happening. There are subtle innuendo and glimpses of grace that shine through when we are not even looking. In the moments before the dawn of motherhood, that moment of darkness before the sunrise, when the grass smells vibrant and the birds are singing their night song, before the world awakes and it is so pitch back out that it seems as if the world will always be devoured by night that is the moment of being a mother when it takes hold and engulfs you completely.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my evolution of being a mother. It still sometimes leaves me in awe and even breathless that I have grown children in my body, nursed them and have the privilege of receiving their plethora of unconditional and unending love. I am truly blessed.
The art of being a mother is not in the perfection. It lies within the small spaces of imperfection that linger right beneath the all-encompassing gratitude that a parent feels. We spend our days tirelessly toiling in the minutia that is getting to the next moment but the magic is in remembering that even the most mundane is a miracle. Becoming a mother starts with a single biological miracle that takes place within us.
We’ve all had out moments of bitter imperfection. Minutes when we have felt as though the overwhelming prospect of motherhood were too much to bear. We’ve all fallen short of our own expectations of motherhood and felt the suffocating weight of its guilt. Nights spent crying alone because our child is ill and we feel helpless or out of sheer exhaustion because we have not slept through the night in months. There are so many instances in which we feel that we have failed our child in some monumentally catastrophic way but truly we love them so deeply that we are only disappointed with ourselves. No true transgression has really been committed.
The art is in the recovery. The art to being a mother lies in embracing your imperfections and utilizing our gifts. Some of us have strengths that others only dream of having. Being able to drop to your knee and speak in a kind a patient tone is a gift. Being capable of making your children laugh by being silly when they are sad is a gift. Having the ability of stepping out of the situation and seeing it through the eyes of your child is a true gift. Knowing when to hug your child for no reason at all is a gift. Listening to what your child is saying and being present is a gift. Dancing like no one is watching, singing like no one can hear and teaching your children to be themselves, instilling a sense of self- confidence, is a great gift. Knowing in your gut by your child’s demeanor that she has had a rough day and doing something special to cheer her up is a gift. Being present and loving your child unconditionally, every day and in every way are the greatest gifts that any mother can give their child.
Next time that you doubt your success at being a mother, give yourself some credit and take pride in knowing that you love your child. We all have moments of imperfection and no ones does it right all the time. Your children know that you love them and that is something. They see it in the way your eyes light up when you glance upon their faces. They feel it in the way your hugs linger just a little longer than they need to when you say goodbye. They know it by your unexpected actions just to see them smile. They see your sacrifices. The beauty and grace of being a mother resides within all of us.
What do you think is the most important quality needed in being a mother?