The TRUTH About Motherhood

Tag: Throat Punch Thursday

Throat Punch Thursday ~ Illegals are NOT Okay Edition
Calling people illegals is dehumanizing
” Illegals” are not okay~ Earlier this month, the Charlotte Observer published a story about the birth of Tommy Arias, the first baby born in 2012 in Charlotte, North Carolina. The article sparked an outpouring of hate from some readers.This really gets me hot because another beautiful brown baby was born a day later, my nephew, and I don’t understand how something so precious could incite racism? How could the birth of any baby ( black, white, brown, purple, green, yellow) spark hate? The hate came from the color of the baby’s skin and the assumption that the parents were illegal immigrants, prompting an explosive use of the term illegals or the i-word for polite society.
The entire immigration situation in the United States has been ridiculous for quite some time now. I am Mexican. I am a first generation American. My father was born in Mexico. Just because my father is of brown colored skin does not give anyone the right to assume that he is in the country illegally or to call him derogatory names such as illegal, wet back, Spic, Bean eater, illegal aliens (WTF, we’re not from outer space) and all the other wonderful names that people come up with for Latinos nor does it give people the right to comment so heinously on a newborn baby. I don’t give a flying fuck where you fall on immigration legislation. People are not inanimate objects, they have thoughts and feelings and they can hear your words and be hurt by your actions, even when you think they don’t understand. Believe me, they do understand. English is taught in the schools and not as an elective, as a requirement.
Here’s what happened. A photo of new mom Lucero Arias, 19, and baby Tommy, was published along with the article, which did not reference Ms. Arias’ immigration status, or national origin. The piece, however, did mention that Tommy’s grandfather called from Mexico City. How asinine is this? My children’s grandfather calls from Mexico on certain occasions at certain times of the year because he’s retired and that’s where he goes when it’s cold. Besides, would there have been such an issue if baby Tommy’s grandfather had called from Spain? Italy?Australia? Germany? Japan? Africa? I’ve got news for you, we were all immigrants (unless you are a native American) at one time in our history. Some of us just got here sooner than the others. But make no mistake, we are all descendants of immigrants; illegal or otherwise. We are not all “illegals” and no one deserves to be called by that name.
“illegals” is derogatory and hurtful

That was enough for the comments section to fill up with anti-Latino, anti-immigrant rants, causing the Observer to shut down commenting for the article. The paper also added this note: “Comments have been disabled because of repeated violations of site policies. Please refrain from profanity, obscenity, spam, name-calling or attacking others for their views.”
They had to disable comments because of all the venom that was being spewed about a baby who happened to have a Grandfather who called from Mexico, really? Do people just wait for any excuse to hate other people? It’s like a license to treat people like inanimate objects because they are Latino. Not every Latino is Mexican, and not every Latino is here undocumented, and not every Latino looks Latino so you should probably watch what ignorant comments will be coming out of your mouth because we come in all different shades; including white.

According to Observer readers and Drop the I-Word supporters, the attacks included the derogatory i-word and “anchor baby” slur. Jess George, the Executive Director of The Latin American Coalition, wrote the Observer asking them to Drop the I-Word. They didn’t drop it, but they published the letter, which also sparked hateful reader comments, including these: Way to be an asshole Observer!

” … When kids see lawbreakers get away with their crimes they think they can as well and kids know what illegals are. There IS a difference between Human Rights and US Citizens Rights … “
“Thats right. When an illegal takes a job, he displaces a citizen. When the citizen collects unemployment and goes on food stamps, we pay. This is just one hidden cost of employing illegals.”

“… The way to stop “stereotyping” is to have no illegals here, only legal Latinos. Where could any U.S. citizen sneak over a foreign border and expect a free ride?”
The incident is worrisome, as Charlotte, the city with the largest Latino population in the state, and host for this year’s Democratic National Convention, has also seen a rise in anti-immigrant, ant-Latino bullying. In a span of two weeks at the end of 2011, at least seven cases of anti-Latino bullying in Charlotte public schools were reported to the Latin American Coalition.
The term “illegal immigrant,” which many journalists are having a hard time giving up, is not too far of a stretch from describing people simply as “illegals,” which the Associated Press, New York Times, and the Observer itself have deemed pejorative. Both terms are dehumanizing and further the concept that a person’s being can be illicit. “Illegal immigrant” is not even legal terminology; the Board of Immigration Appeals does not use it, and neither does the Supreme Court. It’s not constitutional or precise language not only because the term convicts people, denying due process. But also because people are never found by courts to be “illegal.”
Can we please stop using this insulting term? How about Latinos? Mexican Americans? Mexicans? You wouldn’t use the n-word, don’t use the i-word. Humans should not be reduced to being called “illegals” it implies that the person is breaking the law by their very existence. It’s derogatory, it’s mean and it’s not going to be tolerated any longer. Throat Punch to anyone who thinks this term is ok. Throat Punch to anyone who uses it. Throat Punch to anyone who can hate a child for the color of it’s skin. Throat punch to the human who can not recognize the humanity in the eyes of another human, even if those eyes are dark brown and happen to belong to a Mexican.
Hope you will link up your Throat Punch Thursday posts with me. I wanted to extend a personal invite to all of you to link up any posts in which you air a grievance, call out any asshatery,or just dole out a well deserved throat punch to one of societies shortcomings or political douche canoes. If not this week, I do it EVERY single Thursday and would love for any or all of you to join in! All you have to do is grab the Throat Punch Thursday button ( listed under the “about” tab at the top of the page), put it in your blog post and link up. If you’d like to stay in the Throat Punch know, I’d love it if you would email or RSS subscribe ( as GFC will stop working soon). People are no more illegals than they are felloniouses, unconstitutionals, or forbiddens ( do you see how stupid the misuse of these words truly are?)

Just say no to the term Illegals

2012/01/26
Throat Punch Thursday ~Twins in Jackie Burkle Trunk Edition
Jackie Burkle ~What is wrong with the mother’s of the world? Honest to God, what the fuck is wrong with all these sub par, crazy bitch mom’s lately? It seems every other day in the news, there is a mom who has either lost a child to some sick bastard, killed her child, or her child has been killed because she was such a shitty mother in the first place. Case in point; Casey Anthony, Tarah Souder, etc. I can go on for days. I am so sick of reading about people killing kids. What has the world come to? Today’s throat punch recipient is yet another mom, Jackie Burkle, who has committed heinous acts while employing the Mommy moniker. Throat Punch to you Jackie Burkle of Huxley, Iowa. I don’t care what your circumstances may be, there is NO excuse for killing your two newborn twins.
Jackie Burkle; Cold Blooded Twin Killer?
(AP) DES MOINES, Iowa — An Iowa woman (*Jackie Burkle AKA CRAZY BITCH) accused of killing her newborn twin daughters after giving birth at home was ordered held Wednesday on $1 million bond. That’s it? I think they should keep her uterus as collateral.)

Jackie Burkle, 22 ( so young to be so fundamentally fucked up. Hmmm? How old was Casey Anthony when she got away with murder?), of Huxley, was charged with two counts of first-degree murder in the deaths of her newborn twins last week. She made her initial court appearance Wednesday and was being held in the Story County jail. ( Honestly, I’m surprised that she’s survived this long in general population. Criminal Mommies take baby killers pretty seriously!) A telephone message left for her attorney was not immediately returned.
Police found the infants’ bodies Saturday in the trunk of Burkle’s car, parked in front of her home, across the street from the police department in the town of about 2,800 people, about 20 miles north of Des Moines. ( Can we say world’s dumbest criminal? ACROSS.THE.STREET.FROM.THE.POLICE.DEPARTMENT!!!!!)

According to court records, police went to the duplex where Burkle lived after receiving a call to check on her. (Apparently,someone had an inkling that this broad was touched in the head. But I wonder,if they cared enough to call the cops to check on her; why not check on her themselves?)

Court records show Burkle was seen Jan. 5 at work and “appeared to be pregnant.” She was seen at work two days later and did not appear to be pregnant “with a completely different appearance.” ( Yeah, the look of a psychotic infant killer.I’d imagine that changes a person.)
Jackie Burkle :What were You thinking?

Police have released few details but said Wednesday that Burkle lived her with parents. A telephone message left at a number for a listing at the same address was not immediately returned.( how could her parents NOT know that she was pregnant? I notice if my girls get a new freckle.What kind of mental bend did they do to this girl to make her so afraid or disassociated to have a ~~baby~~ babies that she not only hid but killed upon their arrival? Who delivered these babies? It’s hard to imagine a 22 year old delivering twins on her own,right?)

Burkle’s family issued a statement Wednesday afternoon asking for privacy. ( privacy to get their story straight!)

“The events of the past few days have been incredibly devastating,” ( yeah, devastating that your daughter is a killer and going to end up on some crime show called When mothers Attack or getting herself Throat Punched for the entire interwebs to see!) her family said. “This is only the beginning of a very long and painful process. However, the family of Jackie Burkle does not have any comment at this time.”
Huxley Police Chief Mark Pote said Burkle is not married and that investigators were working to identity the children’s father. ( Yeah, because she’s probably like a praying mantis and after they mated she ripped his head off and ate it and then hid the rest of the body. The police may want to check the trunk of any other vehicles the family may own.) Burkle has no other children, ( who are living or can be found!) he said.
Neighbors and “several people” who were interviewed by police did not report hearing or seeing anything unusual, ( maybe Jackie Burkle is a Scientologist; silent birth bitches!) Pote said.
He declined to provide any details about how the children died or the condition of their bodies when they were found. ( I don’t even want to know the condition.) It also was unknown why Burkle gave birth at home (because Jackie Burkle had NO intention of keeping them.You look mighty conspicuous if you have your baby in a hospital and then kill them.These were Down Low twins.), Pote said.
“There’s going to be a lot of unanswered questions for everyone, including law enforcement, for a while,” ( No shit! This mental midget is not going to just give you all the details. Maybe they should haul in Casey Anthony’s ass and ask her, since obviously this Jackie Burkle was a fan! Wasn’t Caylee in the trunk too?) the chief said.
Bill Walljasper, a spokesman for Casey’s General Store, said a co-worker of Burkle’s called police after noticing a physical change in her appearance and became concerned about her health. ( Maybe they should have been concerned when Jackie Burkle was hiding a pregnancy for 10 months? I think nosey is more the appropriate word for what he felt not concern.)

He said Burkle, who had worked at the store for more than six months, was scheduled to work the day police were called. She had come into the store but Walljasper said he didn’t know if she came in to work or as a customer. The store is only a few blocks from Burkle’s home.( Maybe Jackie Burkle was trying to buy some supplies, you know; a shovel, lime, a hack saw. She should have bought a rope and hung herself.)

“It’s a very tragic event,” he said. “It’s a very hard one to cope with.” ( yeah, because the only way that it effects him is because he’s short a worker and his traffic will increase due to freaks who think its cool to walk where a murderer once stocked shelves.)

Autopsies were performed Monday but final results, including lab tests, will not be available for four to six weeks.
Michael Motsinger, special agent in charge with the Iowa Division of Criminal Investigation, said the infants survived the birth but he did not know if they were full-term.
Court records show when police arrived at her home Burkle agreed to go to a hospital and have a blood test that indicated she had been recently pregnant. She acknowledged she gave birth to twins and told officers where to find the bodies. ( I don’t know why she killed them but I’d say it was probably fear of something; whether it were being a mother or her parents finding out or no help or whatever, but she could have abandon them or gave them up for adoption!)

She also acknowledged that she “acted or committed certain acts to terminate the lives” of the babies on Jan. 6, court records show. ( well, at least I give her credit for being more of a woman than that piece of shit Casey Anthony , at least she told the truth and faced her crime.)

Motsinger declined to elaborate on how the infants were killed, citing the ongoing investigation.
A preliminary hearing was scheduled for Jan. 20. If convicted of first-degree murder, Burkle would face a mandatory sentence of life in prison without parole. ( unless they discover that her parents forced her to do it, or she was raped for the last 20 years by the couple who kidnapped her and made her their sodomized sex slave, the father was the devil or she is just completely fucking crazy then this is the best place for her. The only other place she deserves to be, in my opinion is a mental institution.I think she sounds pretty deranged, not necessarily a sociopath because by admitting guilt she is showing remorse in some way.) Right?)
I am sure there is more to this case than meets the eye. This Throat Punch is only my opinion on the facts that have been presented thus far. Everyone is innocent until proven guilty or confessing, right? But today on Throat Punch Thursday….
Jackie Burkle, Throat Punch for YOU!

Hope you will link up your Throat Punch Thursday posts with me. I wanted to extend a personal invite to all of you to link up any posts in which you air a grievance, call out any asshatery,or just dole out a well deserved throat punch to one of societies shortcomings or political douche canoes. If not this week, I do it EVERY single Thursday and would love for any or all of you to join in! All you have to do is grab the Throat Punch Thursday button ( listed under the “about” tab at the top of the page), put it in your blog post and link up. If you’d like to stay in the Throat Punch know, I’d love it if you would email subscribe ( as GFC will stop working soon).
If you are more in the mood for funny today, at noon EST , I will be live at Aiming Low talking about Releasing the Kraken! Oh yeah, I went there and I can;t believe I did but if you are into laughing really hard about bodily functions, stop over there and pick up some new lingo for what not even Beano can stop. What are your thoughts on the Jackie Burkle case? Is Jackie Burkle a cold blooded killer or just a victim herself?
2012/01/12
Throat Punch Thursday~ Fat Bottomed Kids Edition
Childhood Obesity ~Stop Childhood Obesity! I think we all know how I feel about Childhood Obesity and the obesity epidemic in general. I’m against it (more…)
2012/01/06
Throat Punch Thursday ~ Mama’s Got the Flu Edition
This Throat Punch brought to you by the FLU
Mama’s got the flu~ Unfortunately, today I am feeling way to ill to write my Throat Punch Thursday. The girls have been sick now for going on 3 weeks, previous to that, I had a sinus infection and it appears that the sickness has come around from behind and sucker punched me..just in time for the holidays. I’m not sure exactly what I have, but I suspect that it may be the flu. I woke up this morning with the cold sweats, a sick stomach and a headache. I basically woke up feeling as if I were in the end stages of death. Not pretty. I’m calling it the flu. Maybe it’s exhaustion coupled with something viral, maybe that nasty sinus infection is taking a new approach or maybe it’s the bubonic plague but I’ve not seen any large rats in the house so I’ m sticking with the flu. I hope you will forgive me for punking out on Throat Punch Thursday but I will still have the linky open and welcome all of you to link up. I can still read . I don’t feel much like thinking because at this point it makes my head hurt but I can read and leave comments. I can’t promise they will be coherent because of the fever and medicine. Hell, who am I kidding, I can’t guarantee they’ll be coherent on a good day with my damn six degrees of separation thing I’ve got going on but I’ll try!
I fought the Flu but the Flu won
I really wish I could muster the energy to be witty and snarkalicious about the CNN news today but I’ll leave the end of the Iraq war, Lindsey Lohan, the reasoning for the acquittal of Amanda Knox, the golden globes, the potential presidential candidates and apparently, the shocking news that Matthew McConaughey is currently bald ( ~~who knew?~~ who cares?) and all the rest of the world’s dumbest criminals! Have fun. Throat punch somebody this holiday season. You know you want to! All the frustration of holiday stress, this will help to relieve it!
All you have to do to link up is write a post about a situation,something or someone that you think is worthy of a throat punch. Honestly, it’s not that hard and once you start thinking about it…you’ll have more than enough worthy recipients! Then you go up here to the “buttons” tab on my blog, grab yourself a Throat Punch Thursday button and put it in your post. Then you link up. Then me & anyone who reads my blog comes and checks you out. I’ve learned from experience, the more outlandish the title..the more curious readers are, so go for broke and give me your crazy Throat Punch titles. OK, I’m getting dizzy. I’ve got to climb back into bed. One last thing, come back tomorrow..it’s fashion haul Friday and I am giving away an awesome $100 gift certificate to one lucky The TRUTH about Motherhood reader. The post is already written, so even if I die of this plague…the Big Guy has been given strict instructions to continue on with the giveaway and give one of you a prize posthumously on my behalf. I’m a giver even from beyond. Oye, I’m getting delirious.
Throat Punching the Flu on behalf of all You Good People
So link up to Throat Punch Thursday! Do it for the children! Don’t let the flu win!
2011/12/15
Casey Anthony Jury Gives Free Pass to Homicidal Mommy
Today, a travesty of epic proportions has taken place in our judicial system, Casey Anthony was not found guilty of killing her little girl, Caylee Anthony. Casey Anthony was the mother, and I use this term loosely, of the 2-year-old murder victim. I, like most mothers in the world, was emotionally outraged from the court room antics and the entire situation surrounding the case.
Casey Anthony Jury Gives Free Pass to Homicidal Mommy
Do I know how it happened? No! Do I know for certain that she murdered Caylee? No! I understand that evidence was lacking and that the prosecution didn’t exactly do a stellar job. I understand there was a lot of speculation on people’s parts and circumstantial evidence but the bottom line is that Caylee Anthony is dead and her Mom had a part in it. Whether she killed her on purpose or Caylee drown on accident, either way, evidence points to the fact that Casey concealed it. Bottom line is that Casey’s job was to protect Caylee and Casey became the very thing that every other Mother fears the most…a predator.
The defense says Casey Anthony was molested by her father. While tragic and awful in the worst kind of way ( if it is, in fact, true), it in no way excuses a mother from killing her child. It’s being inferred that it was an accident. Perhaps it was, but what mother in their right mind would actively conceal an accident? Why were the authorities not called immediately? Her father was a detective, the man accused of molesting her. It was rumored that he had a hand in helping her to get rid of the body. Why would a person who worked in law enforcement even think to do this?
Casey Anthony Jury Gives Free Pass to Homicidal Mommy
I’m confused as to why one would be afraid to report an accidental drowning? Isn’t that less heinous than the alternatives? Couldn’t reporting the supposed accident have eliminated this entire murder trial circus? If it were an accidental drowning, why wrap Caylee’s head in duct tape, leave her in her car to rot and go about clearing her head while dancing the night away at some club? Then moving forward with the brilliant plan to dump Caylee’s poor little lifeless body in the nearby woods. Or was it on purpose? The thought is too horrific to even fathom. At this point is that question even relevant? The woman killed her kid or at the very least concealed her body and hindered the investigation..for what? She is culpable by sheer knowledge of the incident.
During the trial, Casey’s mother changed her testimony to try and protect Casey and divert blame to herself. Believe me, I understand trying to save your daughter. That’s how we mothers work, obviously, that trait wasn’t passed on to Casey. I do believe that there are 3 people who know what happened to Caylee Anthony; Casey, her mother, and her father. At one point, George Anthony was so overcome by grief or guilt that he tried to kill himself. I am disgusted with our justice system. We are allowing these people to walk free in the world while Caylee no longer has that privilege. I believe that Casey Anthony should be incarcerated for killing her daughter for the remainder of her natural born life and at the very least, she should be sterilized. She doesn’t, in my opinion, deserve to be able to mother another child.
Casey Anthony is a deranged sociopath. The fact that the jury saw fit to let her off of the charges really makes me question the whole trial by jury situation. Apparently, the prosecution dropped the ball and, aside from the court room drama, fell short in the evidential area. The defense team, however, led by Jose Baez, planted a tiny seed of doubt in the jurors head and that was enough to let a guilty woman go free.
Casey Anthony Jury Gives Free Pass to Homicidal Mommy
No matter what the case may be, Caylee Anthony is still dead and Casey Anthony will never hold her precious baby in her arms again. For this, I am saddened for them both.
2011/07/05
Throat Punch Thursday; The “Dad, Momma’s feeding junior bugs again” edition
Welcome to Throat Punch Thursday my friends. Well, this weeks choice was fairly easy being all the bullshit that surrounds this hot mess. YOU know what I’m referring to, come on. What would make you madder than running out of diapers in the middle of the night? Finding beetle larva in your baby’s Similac, you say? What would make you even madder than finding out live on The Bachelor that you were NOT the one he chose, after you were led to believe that you were ?( sorry, its late I couldn’t think of any other analogy)How would you feel about trying to contact Similac to see if your formula lot number was recalled and not being able to ever access a human being? Just one more reason for la Leche League to yammer on about the breast being best. There is usually not a whole lot of bug contamination in your Momma’s boobies. I tried the whole boobie thing, it worked for about 6 weeks, I never made enough milk and I had to supplement the entire time with….SIMILAC!
I would be irate if I had a newborn and found out that they could possibly be ingesting bug parts. Imagine it being your first newborn and learning this. OMG,it would have sent me into a stark raving fit of lunacy. Seriously, they wouldn’t have had to worried about my calls. I would have had my crazy ass in the car. Oh yeah, I’d have no problem finding out where they were located or how to get there..I’m computer savvy and internet learned.
On Wednesday, Abbott Laboratories issued a recall of about 5 million cans of certain Similac-brand powdered infant formula, due to the possible presence of beetle larva. Did you read that..5 MILLION cans!
If ingested, the FDA said that this type of beetle could cause discomfort and irritate the gastrointestinal tract, making infants lose their appetite. Well, no shit! Umm, my second child was colicky from dairy formula..can you imagine if had beetle larva in it what it would do to a colicky kid? That’s reason enough to take their heads of with a Throat punch. This may be more serious than a Throat punch, maybe a full on decapitation? The more I recall the days of walking in the middle of the night with no sleep due to colic, I say yes..beheading may be the way to go. Lets make that throat punch count!
Following the recall, Abbott (ABT, Fortune 500) established a 24/7 phone hotline and directed consumers to a website for more information, including the product lot numbers affected by the recall. Repeated attempts to access both services by CNNMoney have been mostly unsuccessful. No shit, what are they going to do answer the phone,get screamed at and say, “Hi, Similac speaking. Sorry about the bugs we fed to your perfect little newborn. Hope he does’t turn into the fly.OOPS! Gotta go!”
My Throat Punch is most certainly going to Abbot Industries for not only their beetle larva ( SKEEVE) but even more so because they are not available to give these parents some damn counsel. So they are the lovely recipients of not 1 but 2 Throat Punches, 1 for the bugs and 1 for the awful customer service. Now come here so I can feed you a nice warm glass of beetle parts.
Here’s the number if you need more information..You can call it but they probably won’t answer. My suggestion, if you have Similac lying around, just throw it out!EWWWW
For information on the recall, Abbott said that parents and caregivers can go to www.similac.com/recall10 or call Abbott’s consumer hotline, (800) 986-8850, for more information.

2010/09/24
Throat Punch Thursday: Cigarettes for Babies Edition
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When I saw this footage, I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry. Surely, it had to be a joke. Some trick of the camera. A little person disguised as a a baby. There’s no way, I thought, that some moronic mental dwarf would actually not only allow but introduce and support the nicotine habit of a baby. You heard me right! The Daddy of this toddler introduced the kid to cigarettes. Hey, dude remember the stupid Mom who took the picture of her kid with the bong? She is nothing compared to the idiocy of this Dad. What did he think? It was cute? Funny? Sure, real cute and funny when your baby ( still on a bottle as you can see from the video..I guess he graduated from breast milk the moment he started smoking) is dying of lung cancer. This kid now has a 40 cigarette a day habit! That is ridiculous!
Today it was reported via CNN, that two-year-old Ardi Rizal of South Sumatra, who reportedly smoked 40 cigarettes a day, has broken his nicotine addiction through a 30-day rehabilitation program, according to the Jakarta Globe Thursday. Well, Thank God and the Sumatran version of DCFS for that small miracle!
“He has stopped smoking and doesn’t ask for cigarettes anymore,” Arist Merdeka Sirait, chairman of Indonesia’s National Commission on Child Protection, said, according to another publication, Earth Times.According to earlier reports, the child was placed in state custody after the video emerged and the boy’s parents said he would cry and throw tantrums if he went too long without smoking a cigarette. Well, shit, I wouldn’t want them to put themselves out by having to actually look after the well being of their baby. You know how annoying those damn tantrums can get. Just give the kid a cigarette and shut him up, who cares if it kills him at least his crying won’t interrupt their good time. You know the one they are having using their kid as a parlor trick to show to the local villagers.
It was reported that heavy smoking appeared to have caused the boy’s brain to shrink and could cause other health problems later, Sirait said, according to Earth Times. NO, really? You mean giving cigarettes to a baby is bad for them? I’d say the second hand smoke has caused some brain damage to his parents as well.
“He needs to be in a smoking-free environment so that he doesn’t start smoking again,” Sirait said. Really? You don’t say? So who leaves the hut? Him? Or his asshole Daddy who got him hooked on the cigs in the first place? I say they send Daddy to jail and that solves the problem of no smoking around junior.
Anti-smoking advocates say Indonesia’s tobacco industry markets its products to children, according to the Globe. What can I say, they need to be throat punched along with little chunky Ardi’s parents. Are they actively trying to kill off their children in Indonesia? Any moron that thinks its funny, cool, acceptable to poison a child for money or a laugh, most certainly deserves the coveted Thursday THROAT PUNCH! Come here Indonesian tobacco company and stupid moronic Daddy, I got a couple hot, smokey Throat Punches with your name on it![/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
2010/09/02
Throat Punch Thursday;Bring it on , You Skanky Bitch edition
We’ve been traveling and out of sorts but we are back and we’re bringing the Throat Punch with us! This week’s throat punch goes to the nameless trash bag of a PREGNANT Mother who I spied puffing away on a cancer stick as my children and I walked out of the zoo on Tuesday. I really am not for Mommies smoking in general because I just feel like most who do it, end up at one time or another smoking around their children ( i.e. rolled up windows in a small car) and exposing them to carcinogens. But in the end, that is that Mommies issue to deal with. Her cross to bear if you will. I would never do it. I was never a “smoker” but I have smoked in the past, as a drunken college student ( haven’t we all?). But after I had kids, my whole perspective changed and I can’t even stand the smell. If grown ups want to do it, it’s their business. But when children, any child is unwillingly exposed, it eats at my soul. It seriously makes me crazy. It’s a personal issue for me because my own Mom smoked when she was pregnant with me ( apparently that was way back in prehistoric times before Moms knew any better and it was “cool” to smoke, turn your teeth yellow and smell really bad…or so that’s what my Mom has told me.) No , I am not bitter…well, maybe I am a little. I was 2 months early and was somewhere around 4 lbs. so yeah, I think it affected me. So, when I see a Mom smoking it annoys me but when I see a PREGNANT Mother-to-be smoking while the baby is still in utero, well, I think that is a crime. I think she should be arrested. I think it is my civic duty to snatch that cigarette out of her mouth, stomp it out, and maybe even slap the tar out of her. I know, its opinionated but that’s how strongly I feel against smoking while pregnant. I wasn’t afforded the luxury of confronting this woman because I was with my children and on a play date. I don’t think my friend, the other Mother, would have appreciated my flavor of crazy that I wanted to unleash on this mentally challenged Mother-to-be…let’s just call her a mental midget,(challenged seems to be giving her too much credit). This weeks theoretical Throat punch goes to the stupid ass , trash bag Mom in the bright lime green t-shirt in front of my zoo smoking her cancer stick by all the children. I would really have liked to have issued the throat punch in real life but its against my better judgment to throat punch a pregnant woman, even if she doesn’t care about the health of her own baby. Someone has to look out for that baby. Hey DCFS, I have a real winner for you. Just look for the puff of smoke and the bright lime green t-shirt!
2010/08/20
Throat Punch Thursday: Hot as hell edition
Throat Punch Thursday, obviously its a day late this week. As most of you know, being a Daddy’s away insomniac , I normally do my posts at 2 in the morning for the day. Last night, I was( still am) out of town ( yet again) and by some freak of nature my husband and I were in the same place at the same time..with a ready and willing Mother in Law to babysit.So,I hope you all can forgive me for being a day late but it was between posting my Throat Punch or snuggling with my husband. I chose to snuggle:) But here is the Throat Punch…
This weeks throat punch goes to the ridiculous heat wave that has been hitting the midwest over the past couple of weeks. I don’t so much mind the heat as this awful , God forsaken humidity. What is that all about? How am I supposed to maintain my composure and good looks when I am literally melting. I put on make up, it melts. I put on deodorant..it melts. I take a shower..I sweat before the water has even dried off. I know, sexy , right? I’m all for being a HOT Mommy but not a hot, sweaty Mommy!The humidity is making me retain water. And to top it off, the only thing not melting is my hair. Which I spend an hour a day making look like this
only to walk outside and have it immediatley turn into this
But really, lets be honest..it more like this
So, 94 degrees that feels like 104 degrees, thanks for making me look and feel so beautiful. I especially love the PMS like heat induced sunshiney attitude that the heat has triggered; my family thanks you to.So I am going to put the sunshiney attitude to good use and throat punch the effing heat wave! Thanks for nothing. I always wanted to look like a fat hooker in a church with really bad hair!Happy Friday!
2010/07/23
Throat Punch Thursday; Apparently Somebody’s high edition
Well, this weeks Throat punch goes to the Mommy in Florida who thought it would be cute to post this picture.
I am not an idiot. I am assuming this girl ( she is 19) thought this picture would be funny. I mean who hasn’t posed their 11 month old with something totally inappropriate, a ~~thong on their head~~, ~~an empty beer can~~, a BONG and snapped a photo for posterity. I think we are all guilty of ~~one~~ ~~three~~ a few of these ourselves. I’d say probably not drug paraphernalia. I mean, who has this stuff lying around the house when they have kids? Oh yeah, crack heads, that’s who. I forgot.My bad.
Lets face it, most of us are guilty of taking embarrassing photos of our kids that may later mortify them . But this mental midget Mommy won the prize when she , in all of her brilliance, decided that it would be a great idea to post said picture( with illegal paraphernalia in it , no less) on Facebook. Oh yes, she is a smart one.
Eventually, the photo fell into the hands of the Florida Dept. of Children and Families which is now in the process of drug testing both the mother and the baby, says Sky News. Can you imagine having them test your baby for pot? I wonder how they got that little guy to pee in the cup?Maybe they coaxed him with Cheerios?NO? Maybe Goldfish? NO? Maybe crack?
John Harrell the spokesperson for the group told Sky News, “We are alarmed that any parent would take pictures of their child next to what is obviously drug paraphernalia.” It’s like she just didn’t use her little dwarfed brain in the least.
The unnamed mother has come forward and stated to Sky News via Facebook, “If u look at the picture u can see that there is no bowl in the TABACCO [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][sic] pipe…I would never ever ever let him get high.”
Oh, well thank God for that. Obviously its OK, since there was no weed in the pipe. I wonder, does she think that marijuana is legal? Maybe on her planet it is.
If drugs were used by or found near the baby, she could face serious charges, including losing her 11-month-old son to the state of Florida. I think this would be a good plan. She belongs in a parenting class along with the award winning broad whose kid almost got hit by the bus in the middle of the night. Maybe next time she wants a “funny” picture she can pose him with a machete? Or perhaps a nine millimeter?
The moral of the story is drugs are bad, they cause you to do stupid things and use bad judgment..like posting pictures of you baby on FB holding a bong; alerting an otherwise oblivious DCFS about your crack-headed ways. I don’t think this baby was actually getting high, I’m not an idiot. I am, however, sure that Mommy was. But what I am really concerned about it that his chubby little finger may get lodged in the side there and be stuck forever! What if it broke and cut the poor baby? Bad Mommy..you get the Throat Punch this week for being broken in the brains department and potentially harming that adorable little boy. Actually, I think I should give a roundhouse to that bong to keep Mommy and baby out of trouble![/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
2010/07/02