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The TRUTH About Motherhood

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  • How To Make Yourself Feel At Home When You Move Abroad

    How To Make Yourself Feel At Home When You Move Abroad

    Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

    Have you ever considered moving to another country? I know I have, especially over the past 4 years. Being that my father is from another country and I spent my childhood summer’s in another country, living in another country has always been an exciting and viable option. In fact, I’ve spent my life learning languages and experiencing other cultures with my parents and now, traveling with the Big Guy and our girls, for just such an occasion. But how do you make yourself feel at home when you move abroad?

    While the thought of moving to another country is exciting it can also be quite a scary thing to do; leaving behind friends, family and everything you’ve known.  But be brave, it will be worth it. Inevitably, when you first arrive in a new country, you will feel overwhelmed and it’s common for people to feel homesick. Before you start worrying that you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life, you need to give yourself time to adjust. Everyone goes through this. 

    To be honest, it takes a couple years to feel completely at home in a new place. Think of it as a new opportunity for adventure. It always takes time to get used to a new place, but it’s especially tough when you are in a new country with a totally different culture. However, there are some simple things you can do to make yourself feel at home. 

    How To Make Yourself Feel At Home When You Move Abroad

    Get Your Home Sorted

    Before you do anything else, you should get your home sorted. If you don’t feel comfortable in your own home, you will struggle to feel at home in a new country. Make an effort to create a cozy, welcoming home for you and your family. You can fill it with some things to remind you of home but you should also buy new things to celebrate the transition. Once you start feeling comfortable in your own home, you then have a safe space to come back to and you can start exploring the new country.  

    How To Make Yourself Feel At Home When You Move Abroad

    Learn About The Culture

    When you first arrive in a new country, you will still feel like a tourist and everything will feel a bit unfamiliar to you. The best way to settle in is to make an effort to learn about the culture. Be open to new things. Seeing a lot of the local tourist attractions and going to museums is a good place to start. You should also be adventurous with the food that you eat, as well. Go out and find lots of local places to eat, and instead of cooking your favorites from home, look up some recipes and start using local ingredients. Try to engage with local holidays as much as possible too. When you start engaging with the culture, you will feel more like a local. You’ll stop feeling like a visitor and start feeling like you’re home.

    How To Make Yourself Feel At Home When You Move Abroad

    Consider Applying For Citizenship

    Even though you are a permanent citizen and you have the right visas in place, it can still feel like you are just a visitor. If you want to put your roots down and you plan to stay for the long haul, you should consider applying for citizenship. If you get in touch with an immigration lawyer, they will be able to advise you about the process. It’s easier to become a citizen in some countries than it is in others, so consider how long the process is before deciding whether it’s right for you. If you do become a citizen, you will feel much more at home. 

    How To Make Yourself Feel At Home When You Move Abroad

    Host Visitors From Back Home

    Having people visit you from back home will really help if you are feeling homesick. It also gives you a good opportunity to show people your new life and the home that you have created for yourself. After these visits, your new lifestyle will feel more permanent and being able to share it with your family puts a more positive spin on things. 

    It’s important to give it time when you move to a new country because the transition takes time. If it didn’t, that would just be weird. Don’t let fear of change stop you from trying new things. If you don’t like it, you can always move back home but a life of untaken chances and unrealized dreams will definitely end in regret. Be brave. Follow these simple steps and go for it! You’ll feel like a local in no time. 

    What would be your best tip for how to make yourself feel at home when you move abroad?

  • How My Mental Illness Manifests as a Teen in 2022

    How My Mental Illness Manifests as a Teen in 2022

    Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

    Hi, my name is Bella and I’m new here at The TRUTH about Motherhood. Well, not really new, since you’ve all watched me grow up on this blog but this is the first post that I’m writing for the blog. It’s a bit personal but, after all, I am my mother’s daughter. Really, would you expect anything less than a complete overshare? Today, I’m sharing how my mental illness manifests as a teen in 2022. Be gentle, it’s my first time.

    As a teen girl struggling in the world pre and post-COVID, well we have not really made it to post-COVID yet, things have been tough. The pandemic has affected me and my mental health. I’ve suffered from anxiety since I was about 10-years-old and it got progressively worse throughout middle school and high school. My freshman year of high school started in August of 2019, coincidentally, I suffered one of my worst panic attacks ever on the first day of freshman orientation.

    As you can see where this tragic timeline is going as there was a series of very unfortunate events approaching. By March of 2020, my quinceanera was approaching and so was the Billie Eilish concert, which was a Christmas present for my 15th birthday, and it was all about to blow up in my face. My quince was canceled 2 days before the event ( after years of planning) and so was the concert all because of this thing called COVID-19. I really hate coronavirus.

    This is how my mental illness manifests as a teen in 2022

    It all started Friday, March 13th, which should have been a major red flag. Nothing good ever happens on Friday the 13th. My parents pulled me out of school early and told me to bring home all of my stuff. Second red flag. I was like alright I’m about to get a long Spring Break, then all hell broke loose. By Saturday, March 14th, the whole world was on lockdown. Stay inside, don’t leave the house type of shit, and me and my sister were dumb and like “Yay no school for a couple of weeks!” Then, 2 weeks turned into a couple of months and finishing the school year via eLearning because nobody, especially the schools, knew what the hell to do. Long story short, kids don’t get excited about unexpected “vacations” from school because it’s not going to be as awesome as you thought it was.

    Since that tragic freshman year, I’ve spent all of my sophomore year navigating what my school referred to as “mode 3”, which basically meant I was home every day, not going into school, doing a combo of TEAMS meetings and assignments online, essentially teaching myself subjects like genetics and geometry. That was fun. No, it wasn’t. If you thought I had depression and anxiety pre-covid, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

    I won’t lie, some of my teachers weren’t very understanding of the whole online thing and they couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t just come into school and wear a mask like everyone else. Well, the thing is my dad has underlying conditions and my mom is a diabetic. So for me, my education was an unnecessary risk to the people I love. If I had to choose between my mom and dad not dying and not struggling with school, I’d always choose my mom and dad. Not going to lie, last year was really effin hard. But, soon enough the school year was over and I was finally free of online school.

    However, throughout this whole time obviously, my family believed in wearing masks, getting vaccinated and staying home as much as possible. We only went out when absolutely necessary. My parents mobile ordered our groceries and picked them up and everything else we needed, we had shipped to the house. We didn’t travel or get to do any of the normal things people do for 17 months. Honestly, things are still not back to normal and I hate it.

    As a teen during this time, missing my friends and family, there was also a lot of anxiety about going back into the real world because I couldn’t help thinking that I could get this virus and potentially kill those closest to me. Basically, my whole high school experience has been stolen from me. No proms, formals, homecoming, football games and no hanging with friends, sleepovers or boyfriends. You can’t do normal things when you can’t even be around people in person. It was like life was called on account of covid.

    I did what every normal person in the 21st century does, with access to the internet, I fully embraced my shopaholic tendencies, which might be my favorite and most financially damaging coping mechanism. This was how my mental illness manifests as a teen in 2022. I know it’s serious but there is something about filling an online cart that makes me feel better like things are “normal” and that’s all I want to feel.

    The problem is that when you have no other outlet for those feelings of anxiety and depression because you can just feel the vibes are off in the house, and you’ve run out of movies and shows to binge on, the only logical option left to me is to shop online. My top 3 go-to places were Princess Polly, GymShark, and Arie, since then they have somewhat stayed the same, but instead of GymShark I’m drawn to Free People (specifically the movement collection) and Zara is another kryptonite for me.

    Seriously, every time I have money, I want to buy new clothes. I’ve always loved fashion and shopping but the pandemic really made me understand what the term “retail therapy” means. Filling online shopping carts and planning travel are what seem to calm my anxiety.

    I do love procrastinating doing my homework and spending time with my dogs just as much as the average teen, but there is something that is so satisfying about filling a cart of things you like, and hoping you can buy some of it because, well you aren’t traveling, or eating out, or seeing people why not get dressed up pretty and feel like you’re going somewhere, even though you know the only people going to see you in your cute outfits are your parents, your little sister, the dogs and some friends on TikTok. The only way to feel anything was to shop and feel like something was going to make me happy even if it was just a few days while shopping and opening that box when it got to my house. That is if it wasn’t delayed 10,000 times due to the shipping problems COVID caused.

    Since August 2021 and returning to in-person school, where masks are not required, for my junior year of high school, where all we do is talk about SATs and college, my anxiety has kicked into an even higher gear. I can feel those shopping carts calling my name. It has been brought to my attention by my parents that if I want to support this habit, I’ll need to get a job this summer to pay for those carts. I’m not sure I’m quite there yet because a job means being in public and being in public means exposure to cooties and there are not enough carts in the world to be worth that anxiety trigger. Just an FYI, since the start of this nightmare that I’ve had to call life for the last 2 years, I did start therapy, and my therapist is basically my best friend besides my mom. She’s probably the reason I just keep soothingly filling carts and not hitting the buy now button.

    In a couple of months, I’m finally supposed to be having my quinceanera, this time with my baby sister who is now turning 15. I keep waiting for apocalypse part II to happen any day now because that’s just my luck. I’ve got to say, if it happens again, there are not enough shopping carts on the internet or Prozac to make me feel better about it. Here’s wishing us all a very boring and uneventful summer filled with nothing but normal things like beach days and family vacations and a long-awaited quinceanera celebration that’s 2 years past due.

    How have you been taking care of your mental health and dealing with the pandemic?

  • Knowing when to Walk Away from Toxic Relationships

    Knowing when to Walk Away from Toxic Relationships

    Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

    The disappointment of people who let you down whether it be a family member or a close friend is always devastating and somehow unexpected, even when all the signs warn you that it’s coming. Have you ever been let down by friends or family? Let’s be honest? Who hasn’t been? People are human and humans are fallible. We know this. Hell, I practically expect it. I’ve lived long enough to know that shit really does happen, especially when you least expect it. The key is recognizing toxic people and knowing when to walk away from toxic relationships.

    The thing is I don’t want perfection in the people I love but I want respect, love and effort. I want you to try to live up to my expectations because I’m trying to be my best for you. I’m not trying to be perfect, because I want you to know the real me, I want to be less uneasy being my vulnerable self with you than the general public. So when you can’t do me the basic courtesy of being honest with me, you fail me, yourself and our friendship. This is what I teach my children. This is something I learned the hard way.

    I teach my girls to behave this way and to expect it from others. Relationships are investments and you should expect ROI. Friendship shouldn’t be a bottomless pit of give. You should get what you give. You should get what you want to get. Will that always look like equality? Never. Sometimes one will need more than the other and other times the other will need more. Relationships should never involve receipts, IOUs or keeping score, it should be about being there and giving to one another what the other might need. 

    Knowing when to walk away from toxic relationships is a life skill and most of us don’t learn it until we’ve been burnt by toxic people more than once.

    As I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that not everyone feels or views relationships the same way. There are people who want relationships for purely selfish reasons, to see how they can benefit from it with no regard to the other person involved. Honestly, unrequited love has its place but not in a confirmed relationship whether that be friendship, a relationship or a marriage, that’s a violation of the social contract that humans agree to when getting involved with other human beings. It’s a fucking bamboozle and I’m not here for it. 

    So, let’s break the cycle. I’ve done my fair share of crying over relationships and I’m done. I’m henceforth accepting people for who they show me they are. I’m no longer putting my hope on how people can or will change because that’s not fair to me or them.

    I’m not trying to change anyone and I’m certainly not changing myself for anyone. I’m trying to be my own best self so that I like the me in the mirror. End of. If you don’t like her, no need to discuss or argue, let’s just civilly part ways. TBH, if you tell me you don’t like me, I can accept that. I’m not for everyone. But if you pretend we’re friends or whatever the relationship is and you’re not all in, that’s worse. If I’m not a hell yes for you, let me be a hell no. It might sting temporarily because I’m human and I lean a tad on the narcissistic side but I will get over it. 

    However, if you enter into a relationship under false pretenses, that’ll hurt to my core because I allowed myself to be vulnerable, love and trust you when our time together was based on a lie that you knowingly perpetuated. You’ve wasted my precious time and squandered my care for you. That’s grounds for hate to me and you deserve it. I can forgive but I can’t forget so, we will never be the same because the trust and respect isn’t there… it probably never was because when you care about someone, you try to protect them. 

    I’ve taught my girls that to have a good friend , you’ve got to be a good friend. They believe this so they know the rules. They won’t waste your time pretending. Faking is not their way. Either they love you or you’re not significant enough to matter in any way that can hurt them. Make no mistake, they care about the human race, they are respectful and kind but they know that relationships are an investment. They don’t say anything behind you’re back that they aren’t prepared to say to your face. They don’t judge people on what they have, do or how they look or how popular you are. They judge you on how you treat them and others. They observe. Still, they’re teenagers and my middle-aged wisdom can only guide them through the murky waters of the teen years. But sometimes their youth and big feelings drown out my experience and they get hurt. 

    Relationship hurt has to be felt and gone through to process and make peace with. I encourage them to feel their feelings, talk about them and be honest with others about their feelings. Don’t push them down or pretend they’re ok when they’re not. That’s a recipe for disaster because then you’re just damaged for the next relationship. And don’t be fooled, it isn’t just romantic partners who have the power to hurt you in relationships. This advice applies to friends, lovers, family members, parents and co-workers. Respect  yourself, know your boundaries, speak up and put in what you want to get out and most importantly, don’t be afraid to walk away from relationships that no longer serve you, or worse, actively hurt you. Life is too fucking short. 

    Have you ever had to walk away from a relationship that you really wanted to work? What was harder for you, walking away from family, a relationship or a friendship? What are your best tips for walking away from toxic relationships?

  • I Have Died Every Day Waiting for You

    I Have Died Every Day Waiting for You

    Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

    Today is national pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day. I knew that I wanted to write about it but I wasn’t sure what I wanted to say. This morning, I heard the song that played as we drove to the hospital for my D & E ( A Thousand Years by Christina Perri). This week my professor assigned this video for my storytelling marketing class and suddenly, it all came flooding back like it was yesterday.

    My miscarriage happened on May 1, 2012 but to me it feels like yesterday. I’m sure it’s like that for all moms. It’s a day that we never forget and a child that we think of daily, even when no one else remembers. Just because our children are not in our arms does not mean that they do not live on in our hearts forever. They do.

    I would love to say that the pain of missing a lost baby or child gets easier but it doesn’t. It dissipates to a tolerable level of grief but it never goes away. There is always a void because something is missing; a huge part of ourselves, our child. I loved my baby from the first day I knew I was pregnant with him. I loved him as much and as deeply as I love Bella and Gabs, every bit as much.

    It didn’t matter if I got to hold him or meet him, he was part of me. He grew inside of me for an entire trimester. He was endless possibilities and promises and then he was gone. Gone.

    There was no medical explanation. He wasn’t sick. Everything was normal. He was perfect but his heart stopped beating and on that same day, in many ways, so did my own. I am not the same woman I was on April 30, 2012, and I will never be that woman again. When he died, so did a part of me. If you’re a mom who has experienced a pregnancy or child loss, you know exactly what I mean.

    The news was so unexpected that we were completely blind-sighted. There was nothing I could do but cry. I have never felt so helpless, angry and sad in my entire life. There is no other pain like it and I can’t imagine a worse pain for a mother than losing a pregnancy or child. It felt like a betrayal, like the universe and my body cheated me and didn’t keep their end of the bargain. It felt like I was watching the whole thing from outside of my own body.

    First, I was so overwhelmed with sadness and despair that I sobbed the most primal howling animalistic cry that I’d ever cried. The sound that emitted from my broken body and heart was pure grief. It was a loss greater than my own death because it was the loss of my baby. It completely broke me. I sobbed in bed for weeks trying to understand how to go on without my child.

    Then, I went numb. Numb and quiet like the green sky before a tornado destroys everything in its sight. I had cried so much that I felt weak to my very soul. I became too tired and weary to fight my pain.

    I looked into the face of my grief and gave myself over to my fate. I sank so far down into my despair that I thought I would never come out of it nor did I want to. Somehow, moving past it felt like disloyalty to the baby I lost but staying in it felt like a disservice to my daughters. 

    So despite the hole in my heart, I lived each day looking for the light in my daughters’ faces. I forced myself to be there for them, even when I had to push myself back together and function in pain. Finally, one day, the pain became tolerable enough to live with.

    There is nothing I can do to change what happened. I am not alone and there are so many women who observe national pregnancy and infant loss remembrance day because it is a day to honor the babies we loved and lost. I am writing about my pregnancy loss because it helps me process and it reminds others that my baby was here, he mattered and he is missed. It’s not a dirty secret and I didn’t do anything wrong. We need to remove the taboo of remembering the babies we lost and let moms speak freely about their experiences instead of holding all of that pain and grief inside alone.

    Over the years, I’ve written many posts on my experience with my miscarriage. I will list them below:

    The Truth about Life after Miscarriage

    Surviving the Aftermath of Miscarriage

    When a Tattoo Heals Your Heart

    Some Things Change You Forever

    Lost Baby

    Chrissy Tiegen is Every Mother Who Suffered a Miscarriage

    Why it’s so Important to Reflect on Loss and Grieve

    A Thousand Years

    The End of the World as We Know it

    Lingering in Loss

    An Unexpected Pregnancy at 40

    Mommy, I want another Baby

    The Worst Day of My Life

    How to Survive the Loss of a Pregnancy

    The Kindness of Strangers

    A Sky Full of Paper Lanterns

    I shouldn’t have Looked

    For Sale: Baby Shoes, Never Worn

  • Getting Healthy Just Got Easier

    Getting Healthy Just Got Easier

    Disclaimer : I was provided a free Jenny Craig Weight Loss Starter Kit. However, the opinions expressed are entirely my own.

    Do you ever just wish there was a magic pill so that you could take it and be happy at your perfect body size and lose all the weight? Don’t we all? This has been something I’ve struggled with my entire life. Well, at least since puberty.

    I’ve tried diets, exercising excessively, restricting calories, not eating carbs, watching my sugar but I never sat down, figured out what to do and did it…the right way. Because, let’s face it, the right way is the hard way. I even tried wishing it away but by still eating French fries and milk shakes, I never really had a chance. My derriere is living proof of that.

    Finally, as I’m closing in on middle age, I’ve learned that the key to being healthy and happy, for me, is portion control, regularly exercising, everything in moderation and making healthier choices when I eat. Mindlessly eating carbs until all hours of the night, simply cannot be part of my way of life anymore not if I want to be around to see my children grow up and my grandchildren be born.

    I’ve finally realized that being healthy is not a diet or a temporary situation. It’s not like holding your belly in as you walk past the hot guy at the office. It’s about changing your life and the way you live it. It’s about making your health a priority, which is what I’ve actively been doing for the past month.

    It’s hard though. Who has time to plan the menus, buy the groceries, clean, cut and prep meals ahead of time? No one I know who has children. I’m a busy mom but that’s just not an excuse I can hide behind any longer because it’s not doing me any favors.

    I work from home full-time, I am active on the school board and in my daughters’ classes, I run our home, I cook and I clean and sort of do the laundry plus I chauffeur my daughters around from 3 p.m. until 8 p.m. six days a week. And in addition to all of that, I am trying to be more active to get healthier. That’s right, I kept finding excuses why I couldn’t go to the gym so I got an ondemand workout subscription and I love it. I used to tell myself that I could do it anytime I wanted to but then I never would so I’ve made it my routine to workout as soon as I get back from dropping my girls off at school.

    The bottom line is that my work is never done, just like every other mom, but I have to prioritize myself so that I can be healthy and take care of those who depend on me. But with no extra time in my day, that’s difficult so sometimes you have to make things a little easier on yourself.

    I can’t afford a personal chef or a housekeeper and I refuse to have a nanny, especially since I work from home but I can plan ahead and prep food in advance. Also, did you know that there is a Jenny Craig 5-day starter pack available exclusively at WalMart? Now, you can try the meals and experience the Jenny Craig lifestyle at home without any of the commitment of a monthly subscription service. It includes 20 delicious food choices and a free consultation opportunity with Jenny Craig, making eating healthier a little more convenient for busy people on the go.

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    What’s your best tip for getting and staying healthy?[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]

  • Wholesome Breakfast on the Go for the Entire Family

    Wholesome Breakfast on the Go for the Entire Family

    Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Jimmy Dean through their partnership with POPSUGAR Select. While I was compensated to write a post about Jimmy Dean Delights, all opinions are my own.

    I’ve been working hard this year to get my family and myself in good health. I’ve started working out (as someone still recovering from a broken leg, that in itself has been no small feat) and watching what I eat and being mindful of the portion sizes that I am consuming. I’m changing my life, one day at a time. It’s not been easy, as anyone who has ever tried to lose weight and get in shape after the age of 30 can attest to. Progress has been slow but steady.

    The hardest part has been relearning what to eat and being mindful of labels. Suddenly, my philosophy of eat whatever I want and work it off later isn’t working like it used to. Now, I realize that things like cholesterol, fat, sugar and protein all factor in to how healthy my food is and in turn, I am. It’s no longer simply about a number on a scale. It’s about feeling beautiful, comfortable and strong in my own body. That’s what I want.

    I’ve been trying a lot of new recipes, altering old ones and trying to find an exercise that I actually enjoy doing because I’ve realized that if it’s too much trouble or too hard, I simply don’t have time to fit it into my hectic schedule. I have kids, a husband, a job and a million and one other things to do every single day. You know how it goes.

    My hardest transitions so far have been to stop eating late at night and remembering to eat breakfast. Being an insomniac means that I’m up later than most people and that means I get hungry and eat later. Suddenly, that whole “fourth meal” concept makes sense to me. It’s completely counterproductive to getting in my best shape.

    The other bad habit I had to break was not eating breakfast. I used to just sip on coffee until I remembered to eat lunch, which meant eating something last minute or on the go and is almost never good for me. I learned the hard way that juicing makes me fidgety. I’m sure it’s great for some people but fresh fruit juice simply makes me manic. Smoothies are fantastic and I’ve gotten them down to a 3-minute breakfast but sometimes you need something more.

    Jimmy dean, wholesome breakfast, on the go

    Sometimes I crave carbs and a big breakfast but I don’t want all the calories and I don’t have all that extra time. Then I discovered Jimmy Dean Delights Turkey Sausage, Egg White & Cheese croissant. It’s a wholesome breakfast with real ingredients that satisfies my craving and gives me the energy to power through my morning routine. It’s only 290 calories and tastes amazing.

    They taste so good that now my only breakfast dilemma is keeping enough in the house. My girls love them and many a morning I’ve gone to the freezer only to find that none were left. I’m okay with it though because I feel better knowing that they are eating a healthy breakfast instead of something sugary.

    Jimmy Dean Delights are made with real ingredients like whole eggs, lean meat and real vegetables that provide my family with a delicious, wholesome breakfast option that I can feel good about us eating. It’s an excellent source of protein and it makes it possible for my family to enjoy that decadent Sunday brunch type of breakfast any day of the week in just two minutes. The best part is if we are running late, as we often are, we can eat these Jimmy Dean Delights on the go.

    Jimmy dean, wholesome breakfast, on the go

    I asked my girls, 11 and 8 years old, to describe the Jimmy Dean Delights Turkey Sausage, Egg White & Cheese Croissant and here’s what they had to say: “ Tasty,” “Delicious,” and my personal favorite, “It’s like sunshine in my mouth, mommy!” Now, that’s something I can feel good about.

    Check out the Morning Swap videos and watch as a busy working mom learns where the real ingredients like those in Jimmy Dean Delights come from!

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  • First Day of Kindergarten Hurts Like a Mo Fo

    First Day of Kindergarten Hurts Like a Mo Fo

    It’s the night before kindergarten again and I am not ready for this. UGH! I am dreading it now. I’ve been breaking down all day because my dog’s very sick and we’re not sure if she’s going to make it and now, I am sure tomorrow the crying will be of inappropriate proportions. As I sit here typing, the thought of reading that damn book “The Night before kindergarten” has me choking on tears and knowing what the kindergarten hallway looks like, think a mine field with mothers crying like they are Mary and their kindergartener is Christ on the Cross. It’s every thing I can do NOT to turn around and say fuck it. Never mind, I will home-school; thank you very much.

    Oh yeah, I fell prey to this menagerie of crying Mommies last year when I had to tiptoe over their strewn carcasses as I made my way to the 1st grade corridor. It was brutal. I was holding it in and squeezing my Bella’s hand to reassure her. Damn the letting go. It hurts so bad. I hate the first day of kindergarten. I’d like to throat punch the first day of kindergarten or maybe even roundhouse kick it in the nuts.

    kindergarten, first day of kindergarten, back to school

    The First Day of Kindergarten

    I started this post yesterday when I was filled with trepidation and bursting at the seams with nauseating nostalgia.  I was up most of the night unable to sleep. Gabs woke me up twice and the dog woke me up about three times. There was not much sleep to be had anyways. This morning I woke the girls up and the Big Guy too. The Big Guy made pancakes while I got the girls dressed, one by one, in a haze of no sleep and a fog of can I really do this? Let my baby start the leaving process. I don’t think I am built to let my children go.

    If it were up to me, I would keep them snuggled up in my arms for all eternity. I know it’s crazy. Babies are born to grow up and become adults and go off on their own but why does the letting go have to start just when they are really starting to be interesting? I dressed both girls to perfection in their cute little navy uniforms with the hairstyle of their choice and we were off. Me with the camera on hand and the Big Guy under strict instructions to video tape everything.

    As we drove along the same route we have driven so many times before to drop off her sister, I looked to the backseat and saw the baby I loved so much beaming with excitement and fidgeting with nervousness. I pretended not to notice the trepidation. She caught me staring at her and smiled just a little bit bigger. My heart, my mommy heart was starting to quiver. Silently I command myself, “ Don’t ugly cry, lady. You have to wait until you get outside of the building. Never let them see you cry.” Yes, my inner monologue is a pretty bossy bitch.

    She has no compassion for me or the first day of kindergarten.

    When we arrived at school, she was the first one out of the car. “Mommy, take my picture!” as she posed in front of the welcome sign. I followed silently snapping photos, committing every second of the letting go to memory. Smiling my nervous smile that only my husband recognizes. Gabs and her sister bounced through the hallways, sprinting towards the new year of new experiences; toward growing up. I could feel the pull at my heart as I watched their tiny bodies walking away from me.

    After a photo or two beside the “KINDERGARTEN “ sign, it was time to let her go and trust someone else in the world with my most prized possessions; my children. This is the hard part. This is where I swallow hard and hug tight and slowly watch helplessly as I do the right thing and encourage her to go. Oh, how it hurts my heart and stings my eyes. Swallow that lump lady! I swallow so hard that I almost choke on this familiar lump. She runs back for one last hug and whispers, “I love you, Mommy. I’ll be okay.”

    I slowly turn and walk away. I sneak one last backward glance she is smiling and coloring with new friends. As I walk away, I can hear her giggle and engage in excited conversation and I remember the words she just spoke to me, “I’ll be okay.” I know she’ll be okay and I trust that she’ll be safe there because of how commended this kindergarten is just like https://www.paulofreirezapopan.edu.mx/.

    I know she will. Will I? I didn’t cry, though I really wanted to. I loosen my white knuckled grip on my little girl’s childhood and I look forward to afternoon pick up when I can once again fill my arms with my little girls and my heart can be happy. How did you deal with the first day of school, daycare or kindergarten?

    I know eventually this won’t be so hard but today, on the first day of kindergarten, letting go hurts like a motherfucker.

  • 6 Questions To Ask Before Getting A Family Dog

    6 Questions To Ask Before Getting A Family Dog

    Dogs are awesome. We are dog people. To be fair, we love cats and guinea pigs and mostly all animals but dogs are our favorite. They can be excellent additions to any family. Saffaron, Lola and Stella are the best things that have happened to us. These furry friends stick by your side for their entire lives, giving you all the attention you need, through thick and thin, dogs just love you unconditionally. Honestly, humans don’t deserve dogs at all. They’re far too good for us; offering up all of their love without wanting anything but a few belly rubs and treats in return. If you’re considering getting a dog? Below are 6 questions to ask before getting a dog.

    Having a dog to yourself is one thing – it’s completely different if you want to get one for a family. When you have kids to think about as well, you can’t make a snap decision to just get a dog. A few key questions need to be asked and answered to help you figure out if this is the right move for you and your family. 

    Do you have room for a dog?

    Firstly, is there enough room in your house for a dog? You might have a relatively small home with a small backyard. It’s absolutely perfect for you and your family right now. There’s enough space for everyone, and the yard is just big enough for the kids to enjoy. 

    Unfortunately, if you add a dog into the picture, the house seems a lot smaller. There’s no space for the dog to roam around during the day – particularly if it’s a fairly big one. You can’t really find anywhere to keep a dog bed and there’s certainly not enough room outside for your pooch to have a little house. 

    Consequently, some families might be unable to handle a dog because there’s not enough room in the home. This does depend on the type of dog you’re thinking about getting – smaller ones don’t need that much room. However, we will talk more about dog breeds later on! 

    Are you able to look after the dog?

    How busy is your daily schedule? Are you packed to the brim with things to do every single day? If you already struggle to find time for yourself – which a lot of parents do struggle to do – then a dog may complicate things. Suddenly, you have another responsibility on your hands. 

    Can you walk the dog regularly? Will you be able to keep them groomed? Can you ensure they’re given all the attention they deserve? Is a puppy financially feasible for you; can you afford to keep them fed, loved, and rewarded with treats when they need them? These things may not always be cheap or convenient to provide but you need to consider them. For example, you might think treats are not a necessity but Treatibles are great for training, and behavioral adjustments, some are good for joint pain, tummy issues and relieving anxiety.

    Yes, you can argue that your kids should give them lots of attention. In reality, they are the ones that probably asked you to get a dog anyway! But, what if they are too young to walk the dog by themselves? They’re too little to give the dog a bath or even to feed it. So, all the responsibility falls on your shoulders. One thing you can do is invest in the best gps dog fence, if you have a lot of open space for your dog to roam, as this will lessen the responsibility of exercise.

    Okay, what if your kids are old enough to help you look after the dog. In this scenario, you still have to give them loads of attention when the kids are at school. There are many hours in the day when a dog will be left without your children to take care of it. Can you find the time in these hours to give them attention? If you work a full-time job, the answer will be a resounding no. 

    Please, please, please take this into consideration before getting a dog for your family. As you can imagine, time is the number one reason people surrender dogs. Owners simply can’t find the time to give a dog the attention and care it deserves. Don’t be one of those people that gets a dog and has to give it up. It’s not nice for the dog to be taken to a new home, only to end up being abandoned at an animal shelter. 

    If you want a family pet, but don’t have the time to devote many hours a day to that pet, think about getting a cat. They’re super low-maintenance and can be left for hours on end with no issues. As long as there’s water, food, and a cat flap, the cat is fine by themselves.

    Why do you want a family dog?

    Ask yourself, why do you want a family dog? It might seem like a strange question, but consider what has pushed you to think about bringing a furry friend to your family. Is this a decision you and your partner have been thinking about for a long time? Perhaps you had dogs before when you were growing up, and you’d love to have one for your new family to enjoy. That’s a perfectly viable reason to get a dog; you want a new addition to the family!

    But, what if you’re getting one because your kids have pestered you about it. They’ve been saying they want a dog, so you’re finally thinking about caving in. If this isn’t something you and your partner are too keen on, don’t give in. 

    It’s never a good idea to get anything because your kids really want it. Kids are kids, meaning they like different things all the time. They may love the idea of a dog right now, but will they still be as interested in a few weeks or months?

    A dog is a long-term investment for you and your kids. Be sure that this isn’t just a phase before you decide to get one. 

    Can you afford a dog?

    After answering the previous questions, you’ve reached a pivotal point in the dog acquiring process. Can you actually afford the financial commitment that comes with owning a dog?

    The initial costs will vary depending on how you get your dog. If you adopt, it’s completely free. If you purchase a dog from a breeder, prices depend on the specific breed of dog as well as the caliber of the breeder. 

    However, these aren’t the main costs you should be worried about. Instead, you need to question if you can afford the ongoing costs of dog ownership. So, how much is this going to cost? Well, you should start by considering everything you need to buy: 

    There’s a lot you need to think about, and the costs can add up to anywhere between $1,500 to $9,900 per year. That’s a lot of money that you might not be able to afford. Of course, it all depends on your financial situation. Some of you may do the calculations and figure out that you can definitely afford an extra mouth to feed. If that’s the case, you’re one step closer to owning a dog. 

    If you can’t afford a dog, think about how you can save money to possibly get one in the future!

    What dog breeds are good for kids/families?

    You can financially afford a dog, but you’re still not ready to go out there and pick one up. Some dogs are better suited to families and young children than others. For the sake of your kid’s safety, you need to consider breeds that are suitable. Here are some of the options you should think about: 

    Labrador retrievers

    Labs are always popular family dogs because they have the perfect temperament for kids. They’re very patient, playful and full of love. As you can see on https://chocolatelabradorretriever.ca/lab-retriever-michigan/, you can get labrador retrievers in a range of colors, with chocolate labs being very popular these days. They do grow to be quite big, but they always retain a sense of playfulness that makes them perfect family companions. 

    Boxers

    Boxers are great medium-sized dogs, so they’re great to have around kids. There’s never any worry about the dogs knocking over young children, and they have a very fun-loving, bright and active demeanor that makes them ideal for a family setting. While originally a working dog, these dogs are constantly eager to play games and have fun outside. They’re a great option if you want a pet to occupy your kids for hours on end. 

    Boston terriers

    A small dog breed that works really well with families and children is Boston terriers. The great thing about Boston terriers is that they are pretty low-maintenance. They don’t need to be walked that much, and they’re more than happy to stay inside for hours a day. Make no mistake about it, this doesn’t mean they’re lazy creatures. They are still keen to play with your kids, they’re just easier to look after than many other dogs. 

    Should you adopt or buy a dog?

    The final question is whether or not you should buy a dog. It is a good idea to adopt whenever possible. However, if you are looking for a specific breed of dog – or you want a puppy from birth to raise in your family, buying from a breeder might be the better option.  After asking yourself all of these crucial questions, you will know if a family dog is the right choice or not. Furthermore, you should also know what breed of dog is the best, and whether or not you should adopt it. It is so important to think this decision through as carefully as you can. Don’t rush into things as it could mean you get a dog that ends of being put up for adoption very soon.

    What would you add to our list of questions to ask before getting a dog?

  • What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?

    What Would You Do If You Weren’t Afraid?

    This post is sponsored by Disney but all opinions to dream bigger are my own.

    My big dream for the upcoming months is to dream bigger; to embrace change, to give myself permission to go for my dreams with everything I’ve got.

    I’ve always been someone who firmly believes that “where there is a will there is always a way” (with a lot of hard work and dedication) but I hold back. Even though the possibilities are endless, something stops me. There’s always this little voice inside me, quietly whispering, “but what if you fail?”

    I go after things with my everything (especially if it involves protecting or standing up for others. I’m a mom, it’s what we do) but when it’s just about me, I don’t always go all in because the possibility of failure terrifies me. Finally, I’ve realized that there is something so much worse than failing and that is not trying at all.

    “The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.” – Walt Disney

    When I was a little girl, watching the Disney Princess movies, I loved the vivid colors and happy endings. Princesses were flawed like the rest of us and yet they somehow figured it all out in the end. I think that’s what made me want to be a princess the most.

    I learned early on that I was the only one who could make my dreams come true but it wasn’t going to be easy. You have to be willing to put everything on the line to make dreams come true and that’s part of what makes them so special. I like to believe that will is a wish with a lot of work behind it.

    A dream is not something that happens to you, a dream coming true is something that you have to be willing to work hard and sacrifice for.

    dream, how to succeed, Disney, princess

    “I have been up AGAINST TOUGH COMPETITION ALL MY LIFE. I WOULDN’T KNOW HOW TO GET ALONG WITHOUT IT.” – WALT DISNEY

    As I embraced the belief that I could make my dreams come true it changed my way of thinking. The dreams got bigger the moment I realized that the only one who could stop me was me.

    Take Cinderella, for instance, she was abandoned to a life of servitude after her father’s death but she didn’t give up on her dreams. She kept going after her dreams and never let anyone make her believe that she was less than. The possibilities were literally endless and I decided that no one was going to get in my way, including myself.

    I felt a closeness to the story of Cinderella because, like me, she was a poor little girl with no prospects and no one to pave her way but herself. Her “never give up” attitude, her self-confidence, and her quiet determination is what got her through the hard times. She made her dream a reality by never giving up.

    Actually, the older I’ve gotten and after having daughters of my own, I relate to so many of the princesses because I see the moral of the stories. I love the story of Tiana because she made her own dreams come through by working hard and never giving up. I find that admirable on every level. Merida is a hero of mine because of her bravery and willingness to forge her own way but I also loved the mother/daughter storyline. I watched it with my own daughters and it inspired me.

    Mulan inspires little girls everywhere to be anything they want to be because our femininity is not a limitation. Then there is Elena who is the first Latina princess and I love her because she is someone my daughters can relate to culturally. The sisterly love story behind Elsa and Anna also made them a favorite of ours because, in our family, the family is everything.

    dream, how to succeed, Disney, princess, dream big princess

    “When you believe in a thing, believe it all over, implicitly and unquestioningly.” – Walt Disney

    Some dreams are worth never giving up on. I married my “prince,” my best friend and partner in life. He encourages me to pursue my dreams. My girls look to me to set the tone. I want my children and my children’s children to know that any dream they have is a possibility.

    The thing about dreams is you have to be willing to put your everything into it, be willing to work until you pass out from exhaustion, and more importantly you can’t be afraid of failure because the only thing worse than failure is not trying. There is no shame in trying and failing.

    Not giving up on your dreams is what I’m teaching my little princesses by being the example that never giving up and working hard for your dreams pays off in the end, even if it is just being profoundly happy trying. It’s better than being miserable not.

    https://youtu.be/k30UlFYYwmE

    My big dream is to fight as hard for myself as I have always fought for everyone and everything else I love in this world. I want to be more present as a mother (not just involved or physically there but I want to listen and hear my children), I want to make more “us” time for my husband, I want to travel everywhere and show my children the world and I want to take my success in my career to the next level by going after everything I want, even if it terrifies me. I want my daughters to know those wonderful things can happen if you just dare to dream hard enough.

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    What would you dare to dream if you weren’t afraid?

  • What would You do if You had to Choose Between Your Health and Your Finances?

    What would You do if You had to Choose Between Your Health and Your Finances?

    Have you ever had a serious illness and first had to ask yourself, can I afford this? Luckily, we have bear river insurance for our home and health insurance through the Big Guy’s job that provides us the security of knowing that if we ever, God forbid, find ourselves in a medical pinch, it’s not a big financial deal. Granted no one wants to find themself in an emergency medical crisis like we did a few weeks ago with our Bella but I can’t imagine having to think, “Can we afford this?”

    In fact, when we were at the hospital, the doctor “suggested” we take our daughter to have a procedure. My husband and I were baffled because, in our mind, either she needed it or she didn’t. The doctor asked if we wanted to check with our insurance first to see if it was approved and all I thought was, if it’s needed, it’s getting done. If we had to pay for the procedure out of pocket, it’s getting done. No matter what we need to do, we’ll do it to take care of our child but not everyone has that ability and that scares me. When you enroll in a Mutual of Omaha Medicare Supplement Plan G through MedicareFAQ, you’ll get support from their Client Care Team and they will make sure to find you the most affordable plan that fits your budget. John whelden provides the best health insurance plans for your needs. Affordability and accessibility is priority.

    It also made me think of our Great Aunt Maxie, who is an amazing, vibrant woman who just happens to be 85-years-old and in failing health. I’ve had conversations with her in which she has told me that there are procedures that she can’t have because she can’t afford them and I don’t think that it is fair that the world could lose such an amazing woman, who is so full of life and love; a genuinely great woman, just because she has to live on a fixed income. She’s just accepted it and we’ve had to accept the fact that she’s living on borrowed time because she can’t afford any more procedures.

    Being poor is not a crime, but taking advantage of the poor should be. We live in a world where health insurance is a luxury for many. Healthcare should be universal human right. You can learn here, a healthcare software system that can guide and help you.

    Even in the United States our poor and elderly are deprived of health insurance or fall into a situation where the insurance is not enough to cover the care leaving many at the mercy of Medicare and the doctors who don’t want to work for free. Thankfully, there are services on https://forbrukerguiden.no/frende-forsikring/ to help find supplemental insurance to help the elderly get the coverage they need so they don’t have to make the decision between their health and their finances. Every one of us deserves to be healthy; no matter how old or young we may be. You can get it from here.

    Have you ever found yourself in a position where you seriously had to consider the cost of medical care before the benefit of it? How did you decide what to do?

    Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post but all opinions are mine.

     

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