The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Pret a Manger Grilled Ham and Cheese Recipe
Last week, we were eating our way through Boston and falling in love with a grilled ham and cheese sandwich like no other. We love Boston. I love the rich history and the big city vibe. I love the friendly people and the smell of salt air and food trucks. In fact, there is nothing that I don’t love about Boston. The girls love to eat and shop their way through Boston and the Big Guy, well, when his girls are happy; he’s happy.
Unfortunately, for the first three days of this year’s annual Boston trip, I was sick sick. Like running a fever, eat a bite of your dinner, cry sick. Thank God and the Boston Hyatt Regency for a comfortable bed and a beautiful view or none of us would have survived the ordeal.
But by day 3, come hell or high water, I’d promised the girls I’d make the 3-minute walk through the Hyatt Lobby that was connected to Macy’s, out the door and across the street to Primark. My girls are legit crazy for that place. Hey, I can’t blame them. I love a good bargain on cute clothes too.
However, in the time it took me to walk to Primark, I had gone sheet white and was covered in cold sweats. I was seriously going to pass out. Did I mention that Primark is 4 stories tall? The girls were in heaven. It really is a tween/ teen girls shopping mecca. I tried to last as long as they needed me to be upright but once I started to hear the blood rushing around my head, I knew it was time to get out and find some food. At that point, I had consumed a total of maybe 1 bite of aforementioned sandwich, a granola bar and 3 cheez-its in 72 hours.
READ ALSO: The Ultimate Monte Cristo Recipe
We headed to Pret a Manger. It was our first time but hey, “ready to eat” to a woman about to pass out in public sounds like the best place to be. The girls could see that I was fading fast so we headed to the selection and made our choices; chicken noodle soup for me, a grilled ham and cheese for each girl, a couple of iced chai lattes for the girls and some fruit because mama was in desperate need of some vitamin C.
We paid, got the heck out of dodge before mama went timber and returned to our hotel room. No sooner had I relinquished 2/3 of my soup to the girls before I heard “oohs” and “ahhhs” explode from the other side of the room, like fireworks. I couldn’t imagine what basic option I had just purchased in my haste that was making my children lose their minds. It was the grilled ham and cheese, btw.
It’s hard for me to understand as ham generally turns my stomach inside out. In fact, the very thought of the smell of it makes me want to heave. They begged me to try a bite but seeing as this 1/3 of a cup of chicken noodle soup was the first thing I’d been able to keep down in 3 days, I graciously declined their offer.
READ ALSO: Red, White, and Blueberry Trifle
But they couldn’t stop talking about this Pret a Manger magically delicious grilled ham and cheese sandwich. In fact, they insisted on having it again that night for dinner. As we have no Pret a Manger anywhere near us, I made it might mission to figure out how to make this magical sandwich. I mean, dang, I want them to rave about my cooking like that.
I scoured the Internet and did some sleuthing and found the recipe for the Pret a Manger grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Well, everything except the secret sauce that is. But you know me, I figured that out too! So guess what my girls have been having for lunch every single day since we got home from vacation? Mommy’s Pret a Manger copycat grilled ham and cheese sandwich recipe. Made with love, by yours truly. It’s so good that all the “oooohs” and “aaahhhhs” at my own kitchen counter convinced me to take a bite and guess what? It truly is magically delicious.
So if you are sick of your kids asking what’s for lunch and then replying that they don’t want “that” again or you’re just plain chicken nuggeted out, I’ve got the super-secret recipe for you. My gift from me to every mom on the planet.
Ingredients
2 slices of sourdough bread
1 slice of Vermont white cheddar cheese
1-2 slices of your favorite thick sliced ham (my girls love wildflower honey ham)

*shhhh secret sauce ingredients
1 tablespoon of mayonnaise
1-2 teaspoons of whole ground Dijon mustard (depending on your personal preference)

Directions:
Mix secret sauce ingredients together in a small bowl.
Heat small frying pan to medium heat
Assemble sandwich
Slather one piece of bread with the secret sauce
Top with ham and then cheddar.
Add top piece of sourdough.
Butter both sides of the sandwich.
When the pan is hot, place the sandwich in the pan.
Lower heat.
Cover sandwich with lid (to help melt cheese).
Toast to your liking.
Flip.
Repeat.
When cheese is melted, remove from heat.
Cut in half and serve warm.
2018/06/28
Self-Worth~I’m No beauty Queen,I’m Just Beautiful Me
Today, I’m linking up my Self-Worth post @ Ciaomom.com. I stumbled across her link up as, one by one, all of my Twitter friends were sharing it. Of course, I wanted to know what all the excitement was about and then I read her post and I knew. In a world full of self-doubt and deprecation, she is spreading the idea of self-love and self-worth. Can you imagine?
Self-Worth
I am the Mommy of two daughters and my biggest fear in the WORLD is that they will follow in my footsteps down a path of self-doubt and poor body image. In my teens, like most girls, I was very unsure of my place in the world. I was tall before any of the boys in my middle school. Then puberty hit and all the body changes that accompany. In a matter of a summer, I went from the cute, smart girl with the big almond eyes to being an amazon by middle school standards, breakouts, breast buds, braces, body hair, hips and being extremely uncomfortable in this new foreign body. 8th grade was a hard year for me. I no longer tried to stand out for excellence, I wanted to be invisible. I was afraid that if someone saw me they would notice (or worse) point out my flaws.
It didn’t help that my parents were both in great shape. My dad was very athletic and, once puberty started for me, he had the habit of telling me that I “needed” to run more. In my head, I heard ” You are not good enough yet, you need to run so that you can be perfect and worthy of love“. This plants a seed of self-loathing. Have I told you how much I hate running to this day? My already uncomfortable place in my new skin became unbearable. By the time I left for college, I was so afraid of the Freshman 15 that everyone had been sure to warn me of that I was resigned to subsist on the least amount of calories possible. 17, that was the age I was when I started on my 8 year battle with anorexia/bulimia. I never binged and purged. Never. I was a perfectionist. I starved myself to about 600 calories a day and then I vomited it all up. Everything, even water. If it went into my mouth, it came out almost immediately after. The very thought of food in my stomach was enough stress mentally to make me vomit involuntarily. It left me feeling NOT GOOD ENOUGH!
But this is not what I want for my girls. I want them to have an exorbitant amount of self-confidence, self-esteem and most importantly
Self-Worth
To do this, I have to lead by example so here is my list of what I love about myself ( after years of therapy and self-understanding:)
I love those big, crazy almond eyes of mine because I can see and cherish my daughters’ daily
I love my voice because it sings to my girls and speaks to those I love
I love my hair, it’s curly and sometimes straight and it’s beautiful
I love my strength of character because it has helped me to survive my past and go after my future
I love my resolve because it helped me overcome 8 years of eating disorder
I love my intelligence and wisdom to know what I can change and what I can not (even when it’s hard to accept).
I love my laugh, it’s loud and crazy like Ricky Ricardo but it is authentic and when you hear it; my heart is happy
I love my body for allowing me to conceive, grow and birth my children
I love my wit and humor which has allowed me to keep perspective
I love my personality that has landed me my wonderful husband ( of course the 25-year-old tits and ass didn’t hurt either:)
I love my uncanny knack to assess a situation, size up people and never back down from anything
I love that I don’t know the word quit
I love that I am so socially charged that I am NEVER uncomfortable in a group, in fact, I thrive amongst people
I love that I am honest to a fault
I love that I am genuine
I love that I love with the same faith in people that I have in God
I love that I can forgive and move past circumstances
I love that I have grown to love my own skin for all that it’s worth ( I still battle the body dysmorphic disorder) but even on days when my eyes are unhappy with the mirror, my mind knows better.
I love that I am not perfect but I am worth it. To quote Selena Gomez ( yeah I have kids…busted), I’m no beauty queen, I’m just beautiful me and that is better than good enough. And today, “I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE ANYONE ELSE!” Where does your self-worth come from?

Self-Worth

2011/07/14
Throat Punch Thursday~ James Holmes Public Enemy #1 Edition
James Holmes; A Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
James Holmes, what’s left to be said about you that has not already been said? James Holmes it’s been speculated that you are a psychotic or a sociopath. But I think you know exactly what you are doing, just like you knew what you were doing when you walked into that crowded theater in Aurora, Colorado and started shooting people like fish in a barrel calling yourself the Joker. You are not the Dark Knight.You are not crazy. You are just an asshole who needs a psychiatric evaluation to prove it once and for all. Pretending evidence bags wrapped on your hands are sock puppets is not funny. You are not criminally insane and you should be held accountable for the pain you have caused; the lives you have taken and the collective innocence you have violated.
James Holmes, you do have a problem, you are a narcissist with a God complex. You think you are untouchable and above reproach. The sad thing is that for you, James Holmes, there is no punishment that will ever punish you as you deserve to be punished. That punishment will come in good time. As for now, there is no satisfaction for the victims and the family and friends of the victims. As you sit in jail, with your Joker hair and spitting at guards, making a spectacle of yourself, the rest of the world mourns for your victims. There is no sympathy to be had for you; no matter what issues your defense team may concoct to save you from the death penalty. To the world, you are already dead.
You are a monster; a plague on society, the likes of the monster Osama Bin Laden. You came into a place we all felt safe by cover of night and you attacked like a coward. You saw our vulnerability and you came in the night like a thief with your bright cartoon orange hair and your semi-automatic weapons and you robbed us of our security forever. The killings can never be undone. Your horror story will haunt us long after you are gone.
That night in Aurora, Colorado your behavior took children from their mothers, parents from children, husbands from wives, lovers, friends and family from one another. James Holmes you have caused destruction that will be felt for years to come. You will be the cautionary tale that parents tell their children before sending them to the movies on their own for the very first time. You will be the cause for contingency plans and metal detectors in all public places. The media has sensationalized a lone gunman, but you are really nothing more than a wounded and weak man.
James Holmes You are Not Above the Law
I can tell by your nonchalant regard for the law and the destruction that you have caused that you have no value for human life. You didn’t run when you were caught because you didn’t care what they thought of your actions. You surrendering was a giant “Fuck you, you can’t touch me. The damage is done.” You had somewhat accomplished what you came to do and you felt that no one can hurt you because you are above reproach. In your mind, everyone else is nobody. You had the audacity to boobie trap your entire apartment to the extent that the intention was to cut the first person in half who walked through the door, adding one more victim to your tally.
I’m not sure why you warned the authorities about the explosives in your apartment; were you bragging in your narcissistic delusion? Or, perhaps, your last shred of humanity was peaking through. You are dangerous, James Holmes, because you have nothing left to lose. Did your parents not show you enough attention? Were the girls mean to you? Did you have no friends growing up? Well, guess what? We all have fucking problems. No one’s life is perfect but we don’t all go buy semi-automatic weapons and kill people because we feel mistreated. If that were the case, the entire species would have been eliminated centuries ago.
I don’t know what went wrong in your life to cause you to have no respect for the human race, life in general or your own future but it must be awful living with yourself now. Knowing all the pain and destruction that you have caused, and spending the rest of your life in jail while receiving death threats won’t be any fun. No one tolerates a murderer of kids, not even other murderers. You will always be in danger and always be hated by the public.
You, James Holmes, the Joker, Dark Knight, you get my throat punch this week. May God have mercy on your soul because no one else will. May you live a long life behind bars and may the guilt and fear that will eventually be your constant companion keep you in its bosom and hold you tightly. May you know the fear that you caused those 70 people in that Aurora, Colorado Theater at the midnight screening of the Dark Knight.
What are your thoughts on James Holmes and the Aurora, Colorado theater massacre?

Photo: RJ Sangosti/Denver Post/AP Photo
2012/07/26
15 Reasons Your Family Needs an Emergency Fund
Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
It’s the most wonderful time of the year, well, with the exception of a surging pandemic. 2021, you’re so unoriginal. If 2020 taught us anything, it’s to always expect the unexpected. No matter how on top of things you think you are in terms of your family finances or life in general, no matter how well you might be doing at the moment, things can always change and you need to be prepared for any unforeseen emergencies that come your way, especially when you have a family.
Building an emergency fund once you have paid for the essentials in life, is a really sensible way of providing your family with some extra financial cushioning should the worst go wrong and if coronavirus has taught us anything it’s that it can. Don’t believe me?
Here are 15 very good reasons why our family really does need an emergency fund:
1. Job loss
None of us like to think that we might lose our jobs one day, but these days, there really is no such thing as a job for life and a job loss is something that can happen to anyone at any time for a whole host of reasons. If you lost your job, how would you cope? If you have an emergency fund that you can dip into when you need it, it is will be a whole lot easier to cover the bills and keep the family afloat until you find a new position, that’s for sure.
2. You need to relocate
Relocating is a lot more common now than it was even just a few years ago and often doing so can lead to better opportunities for your whole family in terms of job and schooling prp[ets, but if you cannot afford the costs of relocation you could miss out, which is why having an emergency fund is imminently sensible.
3. Legal costs
None of us like to think that we or a family member would ever end up on the wrong side of the law, but from DUIs to lawsuits, there are so many things that can happen unexpectedly and when they do, in order to do our best for ourselves or our family members who have gotten into trouble, we will need to find the money for lawyers, bail bonds, and things of that nature, which as you will probably know, can be pretty expensive, so if you do not have a pot of money to fall back on, it could be a very tricky situation to navigate indeed.
4. Tax bills
If you have filed your taxes correctly, this is unlikely to happen to you but it is not uncommon for families across the United States to be hit with unexpected tax bills due to calculating errors and things like that. Owing money to the IRS is never a good experience and it can cause a whole lot of stress and strain on family life, which is why being able to access the cash you need to settle that unexpected tax bill should it arise is always going to be a good thing.
5. Car troubles
How would your family get by without your car? Chances are you would struggle to get everyone to work and school on time not to mention running basic errands like grocery shopping. But, you know that car repairs can be extremely expensive, and sometimes, there’s no amount of repairing that can keep the car in action any longer, which means you will need to find the money for a new one, which means if you don’t have an emergency fund to fall back on, you could end up having to manage without access to a vehicle for quite a while. Is it really worth taking the risk?
6. Veterinary bills
If you have pets, then it is a really good idea to take out an insurance policy that will cover any treatments and medications they may need throughout their life, but even if you have insurance,w you will normally be asked to pay for various deductibles and veterinary treatment can be very expensive. The last thing you want is to feel like you have to get your pet put to sleep because you cannot afford to pay for treatment, hence why an emergency find would be a literal lifesaver.
7. Rent rises
If you rent your home, then there is a good chance that the rent you are paying will rise on a semi-regular basis, and if you are not prepared for that when it happens, it could be difficult to keep a roof over your head. If you have an emergency fund, you can dip into that to make up the shortfall until you find a more affordable home or maybe pick up a few more hours at work. Keeping a roof over your family’s head is probably the most important thing you need to do and having savings available to you when you need them will really help with that.
8. Unexpected bills
Unexpected utility bills are hardly unheard of but they can throw your finances out of whack if you have not budgeted for them and the last thing you need is to risk having the power turned off, for example. Having cash tucked away for just such bills is something that may not seem necessary, but which you will be glad of should the problem of an unexpected bill arise.
9. Health issues
Health issues are also very common, unfortunately, and if you are hit with a nasty illness that leaves you unable to work, you may not be able to bring any money into the home. That, on top of the fact that medical bills can get very expensive, even if you have insurance, means that having a nest egg hidden away for when you get sick is one of the most sensible things you could ever do for your whole family.
10. Pregnancy

Pregnancy is a lot easier to manage financially and emotionally when it is planned by you and your spouse. However, life happens and unexpected pregnancies are as common as sunshine in Florida, so if there is any chance you could end up unexpectedly pregnant at all, it really would be wise to have some money set aside in an emergency fund that will help you to pay for the essentials like diapers and doctor visits, you might have to find other ways of financing the first 18 years of the little bundle’s life though!
11. Divorce
No one gets married thinking that they will one day get divorced, but around half of all marriages o end up in divorce and that means that it could well be something that you have to deal with one day. Should the worst happen, it will be a whole lot easier to start your life over as a single person if you have some money in the bank to help you get started. It will mean that you don’t have to wait for the divorce settlement to move out and start building a new life and that can be amazing for your mental health, Hopefully, you’ll never need to use, it but you never know what life is going to throw at you!
12. Kids activities
If you have children, you will know that they cost you an absolute fortune in many ways from clothing to college funds, but something a lot of parents do not consider in terms of financiaing their kids are the various extra-curricular activities that they are going to want to try throughout their lives. Many of these activities come right lots of unexpected expenses from the costs of uniforms to trips and tournament entry fees, so having an emergency fund can really help you to support your children with their interests.
13. Weddings
Whether your own or someone else’s weddings can be expensive affairs when you count the cost of outfits, gits, travel, and hotel stays, so when one is sprung on you at the last minute it can be a struggle to find money in the budget to attend. Not when you have an emergency fund though!
14. Death
When you have a family it is really important that you and your spouse have life insurance policies so that if one or both of you were to sadly pass away, the rest of the family would have a financial cushion to take care of them. However, having an emergency fund can also be helpful because it may take the insurance a while to payout and the last thing loved ones need is to be worrying about money when they are mourning an important loss.
15. Unexpected opportunities
Sometimes in life, we are thrown an opportunity that is too good to pass up, whether it be a business opportunity or the vacation of a lifetime, but many of us DO have to pass them up because we simply do not have access to the funds that would enable us to take the opportunity that is presented to us, When you have an emergency fund, this is less of a problem and you can truly embrace life and do what you really want instead of being held back by a lack of money.
As you can see, having an emergency fund makes so much sense for pretty much every eventuality in life, so time to start saving!
2021/12/19
Set Tour #ABCTVEVENT The Kids are Alright
Thank you to Disney and ABC for inviting me to Los Angeles on an all-expense paid trip, in exchange for coverage of Disney’s the Nutcracker and the Four Realms and the #ABCTVEVENT event. I was hosted by Disney for the #DisneysNutcrackerEvent and given a set tour by Caleb Foote of The Kids Are Alright and to meet some of the cast including Michael Cudlitz but all opinions are my own.
Last month in Los Angeles, I got a sneak peek of ABC’s “The Kids Are Alright.” I have to admit, that this is one of my favorite new shows this season because it reminds me of growing up in my parents’ house in the 70’s and 80’s. There were 8 of us in a small house. There wasn’t a lot of money but there was a lot of love and faith in God, in each other and in family. There were also a lot of shenanigans.
Set in the 1970s, the ensemble comedy “The Kids Are Alright” follows a traditional Irish-Catholic family, the Clearys, as they navigate big and small changes during one of America’s most turbulent decades. In a working-class neighborhood outside Los Angeles, Mike and Peggy raise eight boisterous boys who live out their days with little supervision. The household is turned upside down when oldest son Lawrence returns home and announces that he’s quitting the seminary to go off and “save the world.” Times are changing and this family will never be the same. There are 10 people, three bedrooms, one bathroom and everyone in it for themselves. Honestly, on the set visit, I felt like I was back home at my mom’s house.
Photo Credit: Coralie Hughes Seright
The series stars Michael Cudlitz as Mike Cleary, Mary McCormack as Peggy Cleary, Sam Straley as Lawrence Cleary, Caleb Foote as Eddie Cleary, Sawyer Barth as Frank Cleary, Christopher Paul Richards as Joey Cleary, Jack Gore as Timmy Cleary, Andy Walken as William Cleary, and Santino Barnard as Pat Cleary.
On the day we visited, we were shown around the set by Caleb Foote, who plays Eddie Cleary. We also had the chance to meet Tim Doyle, creator and executive producer, whose life the show is about, production designer, Michael Whetstone, set decorator, Claudette Didul, costume designer, Susan Michalek, line producer, Kris Eber and Michael Cudlitz ( who plays Dad, Mike Cleary) as well as several of the other Cleary family members. It was amazing.
The Cleary House
The attention to detail is crazy. The Kids Are Alright house is based on a house the producers found in Sherman Oaks.
“Whetstone: This house is based on a house that we found for the pilot back in March and I think it was built in 1932. It was very, very small. It was one of the first ranch houses in Studio City or something. And our director loved it tight. He wanted it to feel crowded. Usually, when you go to stage, you say, “Oh, I’m gonna make it 25% bigger for shooting.” We didn’t really do that.”
Photo Credit: Coralie Hughes Seright

“Foote: In most cases, they would expand the set in the recreation of the studio. But, having the tight-knit family is a big part of our show.”

The thing I really loved about the house is that you really got the feel of what it’s like to live during those times in a small house with a big family. As I mentioned before, this is exactly how I grew up with the exception of us being in Chicago, 3 boys and 3 girls and being Latino Catholic versus Irish and the story is pretty much my childhood. I can tell you from experience, a claustrophobic home filled with children and love may feel like a noose on your neck at sometimes but mostly, it feels like a hug from a mom and it’s something that will stay with you for the rest of your life.
The dining room is the heart of the Cleary house; it’s where meals are served, where the important conversations take place and where Peggy and Mike dole out nourishment and wisdom to their 8 boys. The thing I loved about it the most was that it is so small and so full of things that the family can barely all fit in it at once. In fact, if you pay attention, you will notice that each episode, a different son sits at a tiny side table.
You might also notice that most of the decor looks like it’s from the 1950s and 1960s since the family is on a tight budget with all those boys. This is keeping it real.

The Yard
One thing that I absolutely loved is that they created an actual outdoor yard to film in. They did have the soundstage yard but that infamous treehouse and who could forget that brotherly love fight scene sandbox, that is all outside and it is magical. From the clothes on the line to the car in the driveway, you felt like you were transported back to the 1970’s.

We met the show’s creator Tim Doyle. The Kids Are Alright is based on Doyle’s childhood and he narrates each episode. This is his childhood and he reminisced with us about how different growing up in the 70’s was versus growing up now.
“Doyle: It’s a funny thing. It’s amazing that we all survived that period but some of us didn’t. But all the ones that are here are like, “Oh, yeah, it’s okay. You don’t have to have parental supervision. Let kids run around like feral animals. Let them do whatever they want.” That’s the people who survived talking. There are the other ones and a lot of bad stuff happened but we’re not telling those stories. We’re glossing over those.
We’re not saying don’t be good parents. We’re saying be good to your kids and supervise them. But there was a different way… We’re giving a taste of, as accurately as we can, what we remember it being like.”
The 70’s
The vintage clothes, the vernacular and even the television shows and magazines lying around the house…The Kids Are alright producers did not miss a beat in capturing the 1970’s era.
We got to see wardrobe with costume designer Susan Michalek. The collection of clothes needed for a show with 10 principal actors is huge.
“Michalek: We need so much that what we really get from is all the rental houses in L.A (Los Angeles). ABC has a costume house, Warner Brothers has a costume house, and then there are some private ones too. There are about eight or ten in L.A. Their buildings are the size of football fields and really high with racks of clothing where we go get most of it.”
The Kids Are Alright is all about conjuring up the nostalgia one feels when going home. None of this happened by accident. Extensive research was done to insure that the Cleary home was filled with just the right furniture, knick–knacks and even the wall hangings.
“Didol: We actually lucked out with a couple of estate sales. We literally took this whole drapery rig right out of the house as is, and it is so fragile that I couldn’t get it dry cleaned and we’re going to just see how long it lasts… But we really do try to do our due diligence, finding things that were from the right period.”
On tonight’s episode, Peggy sees an opportunity to put Eddie’s Girlfriend through a test before letting her into the Cleary family circle on an all-new episode of ABC’s ‘The Kids Are Alright, Tuesday, November 13.
Peggy’s Day Out-To hide a mess Eddie made, his girlfriend, Wendi, tries to distract Peggy by insisting she take a day off with a fun day out while they take care of the housework. To everyone’s surprise, Peggy accepts the offer and requests Wendi tag along, with the ulterior motive of teaching her a lesson. Meanwhile, Eddie enlists the help of his brothers to clean up and keep Mike out of the house while Wendi and Peggy are out. Elsewhere, Pat introduces Timmy to his secret dog on “The Kids Are Alright,” TUESDAY, NOV. 13 (8:31-9:00 p.m. EST), on The ABC Television Network, streaming and on demand.
Follow along on social:
Facebook: @TheKidsAreAlrightABC
Twitter: @TheKidsABC
Instagram: @thekidsarealrightabc
Hashtag: #TheKidsAreAlright
Make sure to watch The Kids are Alright on ABC. It came out on October 16, 2018 and airs Tuesdays at 8:30|7:30c on ABC; also available streaming and on demand.
2018/11/13
What is Intermittent Fasting and Why does Crescendo Fasting Work
Have you ever wondered what is intermittent fasting and why does crescendo fasting work best for women? I never had until a friend of mine lost 80 pounds doing intermittent fasting. Then I got interested, really interested because 80 pounds is a lot of weight and I need to lose at least 100 pounds to be near my goal weight.
I currently weight 254 pounds. Yep. I just said that out loud. Close your jaw. I know it’s shocking. It’s the heaviest I’ve ever been in my entire life and it’s freaking me out. I keep having nightmares that I’m being featured on my 600 lb. life. My goal weight is 137 pounds but for starters, I’d just like to get below 200 pounds.
READ ALSO: Why worrying about being skinny is stupid
So intermittent fasting and more specifically, crescendo fasting, is just exactly what it sounds like; fasting intermittently. I’ve done some research and there are several ways to do this but since I was anorexic for a good portion of my teens and twenties, I’ve decided that I should do the least drastic of all the choices; crescendo fasting. Maybe I shouldn’t even be considering intermittent fasting or crescendo fasting since for me restriction is a slippery slope. But I’ve got to try something and crescendo fasting seems reasonable and it’s better hormonally for women.
Being that have to keep a close eye on my hormones and am of the perimenopausal age range ( anywhere between 35 to 50 is perimenopausal) doing anything that could throw my hormones out of whack sounds like a pretty terrible idea. After my experience of juicing, I have learned to listen to my body. Nobody wants manic Debi making an appearance anytime soon and even less so, irritable Debi.
From all those years of anorexic restricting, my metabolism is the worst and since I can’t restrict the way my mind wants to, I’ve just been eating all the food with wild abandon. It’s not like I sit around binge eating (I never was one for binge eating) but I’m an emotional eater. My problem is I live in extremes; eat whatever I want to whenever I want to or don’t eat at all. Exercise incessantly or not at all. I need to find a compromise and a happy medium.
I saw a lot of my friends were trying something new and I started researching to answer the questions what is Intermittent fasting and why does crescendo fasting work best for women?
Currently, I eat whatever I want. Though, honestly, I hate eating. I love food but it gives me nothing but guilt. Yes, I have a love-hate relationship with food. Yes, I have been to a therapist this is how I can identify all of this.
I haven’t been able to exercise properly lately because I’ve been perpetually injured for the past couple of years and that makes even normal movement painful. I want to use this intermittent crescendo fasting as a way to reboot my metabolism; my life. I need to regain some control. I don’t want to weigh 103 pounds like I used to. My goal is 137 pounds but I’d be perfectly happy with 153 pounds (because it’s 100 pounds less than I am today and it’s in my healthy range). Honestly, today, I’d be thrilled to see it get to 199 pounds.
READ ALSO: Tips for raising healthy daughters
I’m not searching for perfection. I’m searching for less weight on my knees. Shopping off the rack and clothes fitting me right. I want to look nice in the clothing that I like. Be able to sit Indian style on the floor and not cry from the weight on my tailbone. Fall and not break something because there is so much weight on every impact. Feel good when I look in the mirror. To not jiggle when I walk. I want to not feel like my center of gravity is going to make me topple in heels. Be able to dance and not worry about if anything is hanging out. Get out of my head because what my body looks like shouldn’t make me take pause but mostly, I want to be healthy. My goal is to be around to dance at my daughters’ wedding receptions and run around the yard with my grandchildren someday without getting winded.
I know that many of you may be shaking your heads thinking, this sounds like a bad idea. Maybe it is but I have checked with my doctor and it’s not like I’m going days on end without eating because there are other versions of intermittent fasting where people go 24 or 48 hours without eating anything at all. I know that would be a bad idea for me. I get hangry and I turn mean but also, as a former anorexic, I know this would be too comfortable for me and I don’t ever want to go down that road again.
What is Intermittent fasting? Why does Crescendo fasting work best for women?
Rules of Crescendo Fasting:
1. Fast on 2–3 nonconsecutive days per week (e.g. Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday)
2. On fasting days, do yoga or light cardio.
3. Ideally, fast for 12–16 hours.
4. Eat normally on your strength training/intense exercise days.
5. Drink plenty of water. (Tea and coffee are okay, too, as long as there is no added milk or sweetener)
6. After two weeks, feel free to add one more day of fasting.
I started today along with logging everything I eat and how much. I’ll keep you all posted on my crescendo fasting journey. We’ll give it a try and see if it bears results and I’ll check in once a week on here and let you know how it’s going, what I’ve lost and how I’m feeling.
Update: Fell off the wagon with some traveling. Restarting this journey when 5/16/2018. Updates will follow.
Now that you know the answer to the questions; what is Intermittent fasting? Why does Crescendo fasting work best for women? Will you consider this healthy lifestyle?
2018/03/15
12 Tips To Help You Get Ready Fast Each Day
The sad truth is that time is a luxury that most of us don’t have these days. From the moment some ladies get up to the time they go to sleep, they must cram their waking hours with many tasks and activities.
You’re likely reading this article because you don’t have much time to do things every day. It doesn’t matter if you work long hours or have to juggle work and family life. Keep reading this article to learn about 12 ways that’ll help you get ready fast each day:
1. Get your outfit ready the night before
There’s no denying that one of the most time-consuming things that anyone has to do is spend time picking some clothing to wear in the morning. Unfortunately, choosing the right outfit sometimes mean being late for work or any other appointments!
That’s why it makes sense to pick what you’re going to wear before going to bed the previous night. It doesn’t sound very spontaneous, but it means you won’t have to rush around in the morning to get dressed.
2. Opt for a low-maintenance hairstyle
Does your hairstyling routine take a large chunk out of your morning ritual? If so, you should probably consider opting for a low-maintenance hairstyle. Getting hair extensions from a hair extensions specialist is also a good option to save time in hair preparation and styling. The good news is there are plenty of hairstyles out there that you’ll like yet won’t take a long time to prepare each morning.
One such example is the French bob. They are chin-length hairstyles that are both chic and elegant and take less than five minutes to prepare. Here’s how to style a French-girl bob in 3 easy steps!
3. Wake up 15 minutes earlier each morning
You might think to yourself that waking up 15 minutes earlier each morning is a bit pointless. After all: what extra things can you do in those 15 minutes? Well, it turns out there’s quite a lot of things you can do in that time.
For instance, you’ve got extra time to spend under the shower to ‘wake yourself up’ properly. Or if you’ve got kids, you could use that time to get their lunch boxes ready for school and not panic about leaving late to drop them off!
4. Prepare your lunch the evening before
Do you take in some home-cooked or prepared food for your lunchtime at work? If so, it can add to your stress levels, preparing your lunch in the morning before setting out your front door.
That’s why it makes better sense to prepare your lunch during the previous evening. In the morning, all you have to do is grab it from your refrigerator and take it to work with you! Plus, your food will stay cooler for longer if you don’t have a fridge at work.
5. Use an in-shower moisturizer
Ladies, if you use a moisturizer as part of your morning ritual each day, you need to start using a product that you can apply to your skin while you shower. Why? The answer is simple: to save time, of course!
That’s because the conventional approach involves drying yourself off, applying moisturizer, and then waiting for it to ‘sink in’ before getting dressed. There are plenty of hydrating moisturizers you can use in the shower.
6. Use one product for your eyes, cheeks, and lips
Some women use a variety of beauty products each morning. As you can imagine, having several products you need to apply means more time spent on your morning beauty routine. You would be better off cutting down on the products you use to save time.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you must sacrifice enhancing your look each day. There are time-saving products you can use that’ll achieve the same results that you want each morning. One example is to use a single product for your eyes, cheeks, and lips.
7. Don’t set your alarm next to your bed
One of the most dangerous things any woman can do is set their alarm on their phone or alarm clock next to their bed. You should make sure your alarm goes off far away from your bed, such as on a dressing table.
Why? You have to make yourself get up to turn off that ‘annoying’ alarm! And once you’re awake and on your feet, you can immediately begin your morning ritual.
So, why is it dangerous to have your alarm go off within arm’s length of your bed? You could quickly turn it off and doze back to sleep. Telling yourself that you’ve got an extra ten minutes in bed is never a good idea!
8. Invest in a programmable coffee machine
Are you the type of lady that needs a morning cup of coffee before the day can truly begin? If the answer’s yes, and you enjoy drinking filtered coffee, you must invest in a programmable coffee machine, along with the coffee pods of your heart’s desire. They don’t cost much more than standard coffee machines. But, they’ll offer you a whole heap of benefits. For instance, you’ll have one less thing to organize in the morning, as you’ve already prepared the coffee in the filter during the previous night.
Secondly, once you’ve had your shower and got dressed, you can instantly enjoy a hot, fresh cup of coffee before leaving your home. And thirdly, if you’re feeling incredibly sleepy, you can always have a second cup of coffee if you’ve got enough time!
9. Don’t “catch up” on things on your phone
Whether ladies like to admit it or not, they will often waste time catching up on things on their smartphones before leaving their homes. If that’s something you are guilty of doing, it’s time to stop it.
If you travel to work via public transport, you can always check your email or social media accounts en-route. Otherwise, wait until you get to work before you start doing stuff on your phone.
You might wish to put your phone on silent or airplane mode to avoid distracting notifications during your morning ritual.
10. Keep everything you need in one place
It doesn’t matter whether you travel light to work each morning or need to take a few different bags with you. What does matter is you keep everything you need in one place in your home.
You’ll save plenty of time doing that versus searching your home for the things you need. Plus, you won’t have to start your day in a panic or feeling stressed out before the day’s proceedings have even begun!
11. Avoid working during your morning commute
A surprising amount of women start working before they’ve even got to their workplaces! You might assume that you’re productive in an otherwise monotonous journey. However, the only thing that will happen is you’ll end up feeling stressed out and even anxious.
Instead, use the time in your journey to prepare for the day ahead mentally. And if your trip is a long one, you could always sneak in some extra sleep if you’ve had a late night.
12. Avoid watching TV
The thing about watching something on TV as you get ready to leave your home is that it’s distracting. And it can be so distracting that you might end up losing track of time and potentially leaving your home late!
Instead, listen to the radio or your favorite morning routine playlist. If you’re thinking of doing the latter, consider adding some upbeat, high-tempo tunes to make you feel energized and ready for anything the day will throw at you.
Good luck!
2020/11/05
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about CES
Last week, I attended CES! CES!!!! I feel like I’ve been waiting my entire life to attend. Just me and about 170,000 other tech junkies descended upon Las Vegas. It was my first time; I was a CES and a Vegas virgin. Talk about go big or go home? WOWZA!
I could go on for days, hell, weeks, writing about this experience but I will start by giving you the jist of what it feels like to attend CES, it’s like climaxing and then despite your better senses continuing on, in that crazed, hyper sensitive, overwhelming feeling of pleasure and pain overload but you still want more….more….more…THAT.IS.CES!
The next thing you know, your feet are on fire, you drank too much at some VIP event because you forgot you weren’t 21, you want all the tech, you’ve been up til 5:30 eastern time every night because you are so jet-lagged. You really don’t know what time it is anymore and then you find yourself so overwhelmed after 3 days of walking in the dessert of lights with that ginormous fucking badge that weighs twelve pounds that you hit a wall (figuratively not literally, though if you are tired enough you might do that too.)
You’ve seen more hookers than you ever have on HBO real sex and Taxi Cab confessions combined, been given directions by a Mexican Elvis who requests a selfie with you and seen and heard gadgets that have blown your mind.
Next thing you know, there you are crying, stranded in the airport in Dallas, your flight’s been cancelled because of “weather” and you were the dumb ass who “voluntarily” checked your carry on because some smiling flight attendant asked politely in Vegas and when you ask the flight attendant in Dallas to help you find your much needed luggage, she rolls her eyes at you (ROLLED.HER.EYES.AT.ME!!), scolds you and turns you into a sniveling, sleep deprived ball of snot in the middle of the Dallas/Fort Worth airport with TSA eyeballing you like you just smuggled in heroine ( or maybe it was that new Vibe selfie flash) in your anal cavity.
Speaking of strange and weird shit happening, as a stranded traveler living my own personal version of Planes, Trains and Automobiles, I ended up in a shuttle with 1) a gentleman from California who happens to be the boss of one of our closest friends from college, who now lives in Colorado but originates from Chicago 2) an ex-lobbyist turned UCLA Poli Sci Professor who has a reoccurring roll on Hawaii 5.0. This trip was all about the surreal.
Finally, around 10 p.m. Texas time, there I was wearing my new scarf as a sarong, in 20-degree weather while washing my panties and yoga pants out in the sink so I had clean clothes to wear the next day. I did this all by hand. A friend told me that MANY people use the in room coffee makers to wash their unmentionables. I didn’t but think twice before you use those to make coffee. That “weird” taste might be someone else’s ass.
Anyways, aside from all the drama of the flight home, CES is awesome. Being that it was my first time there are some things that I wished I would have known going in, so I am sharing them here with you. Yes, I will get to all the really, cool shit I saw tomorrow.
- Wear Comfortable shoes. Repeat after me…WEAR.COMFORTABLE. SHOES! Save your cute shoes for nighttime events. Wearing cute heels to CES means that you are either certifiable, dead from the waist down or a hooker. Go away, P.S. even TOMS can wreak havoc on the feet of sensitive soles. Let’s just say, I somehow managed a blister the size of my baby toe on top and on bottom of said baby toe. I was crippled, people. Gym Shoes, UGGs, Frye Boots, COMFORT PEOPLE but please NO CROCS ALLOWED. If you wear crocs the homeless people will make fun of you.
- Register early to avoid fees.
- Pick your badge up at the airport, the line is quicker than at the hotels. But if you are PRESS ( as I was) go to the PRESS kiosk or you may find that your badge was given to someone named Donald.
- Cabs are expensive and traffic is horrible in Vegas. Take the shuttles. It’s $8 one way or $14 round trip. Very cost effective.
- If you are a single woman who is looking for love with a nerdy, highly intelligent, somewhat wealthy, possibly a gamer, with a great BIG sexy brain… this is your heaven. The men outnumber the women about 9 to 1. STEM PEOPLE. This needs to be a priority with our girls.
- Have a plan. Vegas is huge and there were 170,000 attendees and 3600 booths. You do the math. There is no way you can cover every booth in 5 days. It’s not possible. Make a plan.
- Forget about passing out your cards. This is not a blog conference. Get cards. Give cards if asked or if there is a spot to leave them.
- Network at events and smaller venues. You are not going to stand out at CES unless you are naked or wearing crocs. Wait, I stand corrected, you are not going to stand out at CES unless you are wearing crocs.
- Walk the strip. You have to. It’s beautiful at night. Also, #Highroller. It’s bigger than the London eye and the view is not only natural it is fucking spectacular!
- Schedule down time. I am serious, if you do not, you will hit a wall and end up in your room in the middle of the day in your pjs, eating a slice and taking a nap against your own will. P.S. It’s really hard to network when you are delirious from sleep deprivation.
- Also, speaking of naps, get some sleep. I’m one of those people who physically get ill after a certain point of no sleep. I have insomnia so my threshold is pretty high but if I stay up past 3:30 a.m., I will literally get nauseated. I guess my body decides it’s had enough and it’s shutting down.
- Don’t over schedule yourself. I made the rookie mistake of making lots of booth tour appointments. I was just so flattered to be asked but I will tell you, then you find yourself rushing around and not enjoying things. CES is all about flexibility; you need to be able to spend time where you find your interests.
My takeaway, have a plan but be flexible. Wear comfortable shoes and clothing that you can stay comfortable in for 12 + hours. Be prepared to walk because I walked about 15,000 steps every day I was there. Be spontaneous. There are so many cool gadgets and tech and people that you never know where the day might take you and if you have the option, take a friend. Life’s never quite so overwhelming when you have someone with you to help you conquer the world.
If you love playing with gadgets like I do or just love being in the tech know, when given the chance attend CES. It is awesome. Come back tomorrow and I will tell you all about the great new tech gadgets coming out this year.
Were you at CES this year, if so what was your favorite new gadget?
2015/01/12
How to Create the Coziest House on the Block this Holiday Season + 15% Off Wayfair Promo Code
A house is four walls and a roof but a home is your soft place to land. When the Big Guy and I bought the house we currently live in, we knew we wanted some place to make our own; that felt lived in, welcoming and not sterile and brand new. Don’t get me wrong, new builds are amazing, our first two homes were new builds but for all that new shiny house smell, they felt sterile, there were no mature trees and it took a lot to fill them to give them character; to make them ours. For those who are wondering, we found our ideal house just like the houses for sale near me, thanks to PenFed Realty. You can also check out PenFed Realty for more home listings.
The house we live in now is definitely a work in progress. It is almost as old as I am, built in ’77 but from the moment we walked in to the place, we could see past the paneling and fixture updates to the potential; hosting Thanksgiving dinners, birthday parties for years to come, Halloweens spent trick or treating with neighborhood friends and waking up Christmas morning. I could see my girls walking down those stairs all dreamy eyed and imagine them lighting up when they saw what Santa had brought. I could see all of it. It was the house, I wished I’d grown up in. Still, it wasn’t “our” house.
We’ve updated fixtures and appliances; we’ve painted walls, torn out closets, and used powder coating dublin for our aluminum doors and window frames. We’ve laid down wood flooring, removed paneling and replaced cabinetry. We got the cabinets from Unique Vanities. We’ve changed the very landscape of the home, to modernize it without losing that cozy feeling. There is nothing quite like a brand new lush shag carpet for kids to lay on in the movie room floor. Still, something was missing.
I’ve always wanted my house to be a place that family and friends feel at home in like some of the best single family homes I’ve seen on the internet. I want it clean and stylish but I don’t want it to feel like a museum. Life is meant for living and I think waiting for special occasions is overrated. I want my girls to know that life is meant to be experienced every single day.
I’ve never been the mom who says “you can’t play/wear/ use with that” because, in my mind, if I buy a toy, piece of jewelry, clothing, furniture, whatever it may be…I bought it with people enjoying it in mind, not for it to set in a cabinet or closet collecting dust because then what’s the point? Then I’ve wasted money and chances at happiness. Nobody should ever waste chances at happiness. When you die, nobody’s going to remember the perfect condition your furniture was in or how fancy your dishes were, they are going to remember how you made them feel when they were with you, in your home.
So, how do I make the house we live in feel homey? For me, it’s all about comfort. I like nice things and I especially like them if they are comfortable and comforting. Making your house fragrant with scented wax melts is a huge factor as well. I’ve found the easiest way to make a house feel inviting is to make people feel at home when they are there and that can be done very easily with comfort items like pillows, poufs, and throws. Combined with our sofa and table set in the background, it looks so inviting. Oh, my! Yes, I just bought that table set and I’m loving it! Here’s a site to buy living room table sets. You’ll not regret it!
As a family, we spend most of our family time in the movie room because when given the choice, you always watch movies on a big screen while cuddling on a cozy sectional. So, I’ve made it my mission to make it the coziest room on the planet so I’ve been looking at all things comfy and now I’d like your help choosing which pieces I should add.

Moe’s Home Collection Lamb Fur Wool Pillow

Surya Ruffle and Frill Pillow

WovenWorkz Charlotte Ruffled Acrylic Throw

Cashmere Collection Cashmere and Merino Wool Throw

Ikram Design Moroccan Leather Pouf Ottoman

Mi-Zone Madison Park Kelsey Round Pouf Ottoman
But wait, just for you, Wayfair is offering a promo code that will run from November 20 through November 24^th for 15% off ANY Pillow, Pouf or Throw. The code is: WFPTP15
Which pieces do you think would add the coziest feel to the room? How do you make your home cozy for the holidays?
Disclosure: I am a Wayfair ambassador and this is a compensated post but, as always, all opinions are my own.
Alexandra Ferguson “Be Nice or Leave” Decorative Pillow
2014/11/20
Perimenopausal Pandemonium
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Lately, I’ve been a little sensitive, and by “sensitive,” I mean I’ve been wanting to rip my family’s heads off simply for chewing. I’ve wanted to blow up every single place I’ve ever been that has mirrors, food, or clothing. Sometimes, I’ve even cried because I accidentally called my puppy my recently, dearly departed dog’s name. But mostly, I’m really hot, and it makes me cranky. Hot for no f@cking reason – just sitting here minding my own goddamn business, and “poof,” this bitch is on fire. It’s super annoying. Thank you, perimenopausal rage.
I’ve been what I’d consider “moody,” and that’s saying something because I’m f@cking bipolar so I should know. But this is obscene and excessive, even for my dramatic ass.
This is perimenopausal rage.
My point is I thought I was literally having an “episode” (I haven’t had a bad one since my mid-20s), so I consulted my doctors. And no, I am, in fact, not losing my battle with bipolar, but I am losing my battle with estrogen, it seems. To be honest, last year I had a spell of consecutive panic attacks, which is not ordinary for me, so I consulted my OB/GYN and my GP about anxiety and/or the “pause” (menopause if you’re nasty). After checking the hormone levels, I was told it was a false alarm. But this year, when I started having “cold chills,” I again consulted my doctors to see if this was in response to my double ear infections or if midlife had finally caught me in its butchering talons. This year, it was a silent alarm. While my estrogen is normal, my FSH was on the lower end of normal, signaling that I am, in fact, probably perimenopausal insert coffin emoji
I can tell you that getting this news hit me in a way that I had not anticipated. It momentarily made me feel shhh* “old.” Suddenly, I was like, “Oh shit! DO I look as old as my high school Facebook friends? Oh.God.NO!!!!” *** (It’s my inner monologue. God and I are roll dogs; he is not shocked by my sailor vocabulary, neither is my mother.)
My point is that for one moment, I doubted myself. Is this irrefutable evidence that I am closer to old than young? Fuck, do I have to stop wearing what those “what not to wear when you’re over 40” Gen Z fashion writers tell me that I’m not supposed to? Wait! Are my kids now the.boss.of.me???? I’m freaking out.
Who showed up to the party? Mother Fuckin’ hot flash to add fire to this fire.
Uninvited guest: Perimenopausal Rage
My point is that at some time during this mid-life, one surviving ovary post hysterectomy, hormonal imbalanced world, this mom started getting very irritable with everyone. Maybe it’s normal. I’ve been overworked and overwhelmed for a good long time circa 2005. I’ve put everyone else’s feelings, wants, needs, and expectations ahead of mine. I’ve literally been juggling everyone’s everything for almost two decades, and I am so fucking tired. When’s it my turn for someone else to juggle all the things? I don’t remember signing up for this shit when I was born with a vagina.
Look, I know being a woman comes with great power (conjuring up human beings, keeping them alive, raising good humans while dealing with some other woman’s supposed “good human”), and I know that is a great responsibility. But no one told me that I was going to be worked like a donkey until the moment I dropped dead. Why am I the only one who can change toilet paper rolls, do laundry, load the dishwasher, cook dinner, plan vacations, and handle the finances? I didn’t get that memo. The older I get, the more tired I get, and the smaller my threshold for this kind of shit is. As my hormones wax and wane out of balance, the less fucks I give, the less tolerance I have for stupid people, and the more irritable I get, especially dealing with randomly, self-populated hot flashes in this mother fucking surface of the sun heat.
My point is that suddenly, I am filled with rage for no apparent reason, it probably has something to do with being hot unexpectedly whenever my body decides to heat up, and I want to go ham on most living creatures within reach. I can’t change the fact that I’m going through this but I can help myself feel better doing it. Comfort is everything when your hormones are being unpredictable. I was recently gifted an amazing cooling comforter made with the same game-changing temperature regulating technology and quality, moisture-wicking fabric as the adult version, the Rest Kids Evercool™ Cooling Comforter allows children ( and their hopelessly hormonally challenged hot moms) to recharge through a comfortable, cool, dry and restful sleep. Whenever, I get hot, I just wrap it around my head and neck and I am instantly cooled off. It’s the little blanket, I never knew I needed. It’s truly amazing. And, it comes in adult-size too.

Are you experiencing perimenopausal rage and feeling overwhelmed? You’re not alone! Join our supportive community of women navigating the hormonal rollercoaster of perimenopause. Share your stories, find solace, and learn coping strategies to manage the fury. Together, we can embrace this transition with humor, empathy, and a whole lot of rage-fueled empowerment!
2023/11/11