The TRUTH About Motherhood

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A Field trip, a Goat, and a Gas Leak
Last Thursday (10/7/10) was Bella’s first field trip. It was to be to a farm with a pumpkin patch at which all the children were going to be able to pick out a small baking pumpkin. Apparently, the $5 fee for the patch only covered gas for the bus not necessarily any type of pumpkin of any value, aesthetically or otherwise. It was very exciting. I, of course, volunteered to chaperone. After all, I couldn’t let my baby go off on a bus to God knows where, with God knows who, doing God knows what without being privy to every second of it. We arrive at school,only to find out that the chaperones are not allowed to ride the bus. We have to car pool and meet them there. So much for sitting on the bus with her, holding her hand and taking it all in . I remember when we were little it was required that chaperones rode the bus to help keep the wily kindergartners in control.Apparently, rampant chaos is what they go for these days. After, hitching a ride with the coolest mom I could find and a quick stop at Starbucks ( I told you she was COOL) we met the kids as they were pulling away in the bus bound for the pumpkin patch. Oh, did I forget to mention after being awoken at 5 am by an eager kindergartener, my reward was for the teacher to tell me to go away until 8:20. The kids go into class at 7:50, what the hell were we supposed to do for 30 minutes?Anyways, I am digressing. It started out a little bit of a cluster fuck. I thought maybe my expectations were too high being this was my first field trip as a chaperone.
After much debate,against my better judgment, I left the house that morning armed with only my Point and shoot camera versus the behemoth that I usually sport to any occassion concerning my girls. I thought maybe the teacher would frown upon a chaperone who was preoccupied being the stalkarazzi when she was supposed to be protecting little ones from flying pumpkins, crazed goats, and bee infested horse corals.I left my beloved memory recorder by the front door. Of course, once we arrived at the field trip and I was assigned my 2 children, the teacher issued an APB for a volunteer to take photos. What?? Just so happened that the chaperone who is actually a photographer ( by profession) forgot her camera and the teacher..forgot hers. I had my POS but not really what you want as your memory recorder. Luckily, the cool Mommy that I hitched a ride with had her professional grade camera in the back of her SUV. So funny because we had the conversation on the way in whether or not we should bring our big gun cameras. Needless to say, she became the designated photographer of the day.
The children were having a blast; picking apples off the trees, eating sunflower seeds fresh from the sunflower, picking fresh raspberries, swiss chard, lettuce,carrots, and with each thing the tour guide showed them she encouraged the kids to ” Go ahead, try it! It’s fresh!”The crazy in me wanted to say, “Hell no! That’s dirty!” People, I am not a country girl. Not by any stretch of the imagination, other than being a Mexibilly. The south has had the misfortune of being my host state for about 6 years of our marriage.I can positively say Tennessee was probably as happy to see me go as I was to leave. The south is beautiful, but it is full of fresh and wide open.Tall trees.Bugs.Wild turkeys. Cows. Pigs. Chickens. Bears.( and not the kind that play football on Monday nights),snakes, and More Bugs!
So,when the kids were told to eat all the off the vine food all I heard was here is some bugs and dirt kids….Enjoy!
The kids are loving every moment of their bug, dirt munching. Its all fun and games until they start asking the chaperones to ” Come on try some” Most adults would probably bite the bullet and say, “Oh Ok” in the spirit of being a good example and all. Not me! Sorry folks, I don’t do dirt and I certainly do not do BUGS! Ewwww! Now, maybe if one of my kids’ life depended on it..I’d eat a bug or a little dirt. But, as a rule, I refuse to model behavior that I don’t approve of in the first place. So, just as the kids are beginning the barn part of the tour, all the children simultaneously get a gleam in their eye that signals certain mutiny and chaos are imminent..I blame all the fresh air and mass quantities of fresh picked bug and dirt infested food that they had just consumed. Just as the kids are let loose to terrorize the animals, as children are running off in all directions of the barn yard petting stray barn cats, feeding apples and carrots to the horses, lettuce to the bunnies, corn to the pigs and goats, being chased in every direction by squawking chickens, I scan the joint to find my Bella and the little boy I was assigned. Just in time to see her about to walk face first into the horses mouth and the little boy about to be mauled by a couple attention starved goats. Luckily the horses and goats were close to one another, I grabbed both kids and saved them from becoming fresh food themselves:) Boy, chaperoning chaos is hard work. Thank God for that extra shot in my Toffee Mocha that morning. Then came the most exciting part of the field trip, we were called back to the school due to a gas leak in the entire downtown area, school was being evacuated…actually, the entire downtown was being evacuated.
We were ordered by divine intervention to cut our field trip short.I was all about it. All that fresh air was making it hard for me to breathe and I am pretty sure I was breaking out.But we had one last stop, or hell would have certainly broke out amongst the tiny farm lovers all hopped up on fresh air and homegrown goodness…the pumpkin patch. After, the fastest hay ride ever to the nearest pumpkin patch, all children were instructed to find 1 small,firm, round, green stemmed pumpkin. Of course, they jump out and all run through the vines, tangled up and dropping like flies. I was picking them up and helping them wrestle the pumpkins of their choosing from the vines..now, this was serious chaperone business. It might have been nice to know that I would be needing gloves and a box cutter. No? It’s Ok, I love picking pricks out of my fingers…for the children. After we wrangle all the children back up to the hay truck, we then speedily exit towards the bus. After all, this isn’t all fun and games…downtown has been evacuated because of a gas leak. School could be blowing up for all we know. I let out a sigh of relief as the last kid exits the truck and heads towards the bus, without a single casualty.
Then it happens. The guy driving the truck looks at me and says, “You know, they weren’t suppose to pick those big pumpkins. We were supposed to take them to a field with the small pumpkins but due to the emergency we just took them to the nearest field.”He is very straight faced and not joking. All I could think was I just wrangled 25 kids through a pumpkin patch without a single broken face or skinned knee, I just saved a kid from a crazed goat and a carnivorous horse, and you what Mr. Hay ride driver? Mr. Fresh fruit eater? You want me to compensate you because you took them to the wrong patch? Umm, OK FAWK YOU Mister. I almost had to eat fresh off the vine, bug infested, dirty raspberries. We’ve all made our sacrifices!Now, go feed a pig or something. I ‘ve got to go pick up my car from a lot that may or not be exploding as we speak! The nerve of some people! Hey farm boy, go suck a pumpkin. Wait? Where’s my kid? Oh shit, is she eating more ~~dirty~~ fresh lettuce? Happy Mothering!
2010/10/11
Never Compare Yourself to Another Mother
I am absolutely giddy that today one of my favorite Mamas in the blogisphere is gracing the page at The TRUTH about Motherhood in celebration of my 2nd Blogiversary. Peryl Manning, better known from her highly popular blog Parenting Ad Absurdum .

“An irreverent, humorous and honest look at what it is truly like to parent small children, the highs and lows, the thrilling parts and the not-so-thrilling-at-all parts.”

Peryl is the awesome Mommy to two spirited young boys. On any day you can read about a variety of topics ranging from little vampires ordering blood off the Starbucks menu to the correct protocol on how to name a Canadian baby. No matter the topic, Peryl will deliver it to you with grace and poise. She’s the lady who has the magic touch and can make any pill easier to swallow.Do yourself a favor, check her out. Peryl can also be found on Twitter. Thank You so much for sharing your sage advice with us, Peryl! XOXO
My advice

So, my advice to other mothers, if you were to ask for it, which you probably didn’t (first off, really, my advice would be never give other mothers advice, because most of the time, you’re just going to tee them off – but I’m incapable of following this rule myself – I’m a writer, which means I find it impossible to keep my opinions to myself)….But anyway, if you happened to ask for my advice, it would be this: Never, but never compare yourself to another mother. If you compare yourself negatively, you’ll get depressed, and if you compare yourself favorably, it will only come back to bite you in the behind.
For me I learned this when I had my second boy. All of the euphemisms that I had privately used to describe other people’s children like “spirited” and “willful” and “pain-in-the-ass” came home to roost in my chicken coop. I now had the toddler who climbed the shelves in Safeway, who had a tantrum in Target when denied pop rocks, and who now, as a three-year old, is sassiness personified. And I am usually six feet behind him. alternately losing my cool and pretending I don’t know him.
And when I get the dirty looks from other shoppers as he slides under their cart, or knocks down a pyramid of wine bottles, I remember my own inner judgy-judgerson, and smack her upside the head. Because no matter what you see on the outside, every mother has a full, well-rounded story as interesting and complex as your own. If she appears to be losing her mind – she probably has good reason. And if she appears to be perfection personified, she’s probably so tired she just tried to to put the milk away in the dishwasher. So give her, and at the same time yourself, a little latitude, and a big, big break.
2011/05/26
Earth Day 2011 ~Raising Environmentally Aware Children
Earth Day 2011 is almost upon us. What are you planning on doing with your children to save our planet? Can’t we all stand to be a little greener? I KNOW we can in my house. Sure I take steps to be kind to the earth but when I get too busy or things get “inconvenient” all the “Green” goes out the door. So this Earth Day, I am committing to taking some steps ( with my children) to be kind to the earth. Are you? I partnered up for an exciting Earth Day project with Nickelodeon, the National Wildlife Federation and The Motherhood.com. I signed up to be a B Kind 2 Earth Day leader for my state. You can be one too. Just sign up here. Here are a few ideas to get you started.

Photo courtesy of Google
Water
1. Use only the water you need, and reuse when possible.
*Rain barrels can be used to collect rain and then you can use it to water a family garden.
*Bathe together. Put the kids in the tub together. Shower with your kids or your husband. It’s saves water, creates memories and nurtures the bond between siblings.
2. Dispose of solid and liquid wastes and medications safely.
*Take advantage of medication take-back programs or household hazardous waste collection programs that accept medications, pharmaceuticals, oil, paint and other liquid wastes.
3. Protect your local water source from pollutants, excess pesticides and garbage.
*Everyone lives in a watershed — the area that drains to a common waterway, such as a stream, lake, estuary, wetland, aquifer, or even the ocean — and our individual actions can directly affect it. For example, watch the weather and apply necessary chemicals when the rain won’t wash them away, and dispose of livestock or pet’s waste appropriately or litter off the ground.

Image courtesy of Google, View Courtesy of Mother Nature!
Air
1. Pass on gas! Take public transportation, carpool, plan your day to reduce trips and vehicle emissions.
2. Make sure your home’s air is healthy, learn about indoor air pollutants from indoor energy use and toxins.
3. Reduce your potential for exposure to mercury.
4. Plant a tree. Or plant many trees! Plant a garden. Plant a vegetable garden.
5. Prevent additional air pollution by finding alternatives to burning your waste.

The air we breathe, the life we live
Land
1. Use pesticides safely! Reduce or eliminate where possible.
2. Learn about composting, try it out!
3. Learn about ‘Greenscaping’! Try it out at home and promote it in your community.
*By simply changing your landscape to a Green- Scape, you can save time and money and protect the environment.
*Save time by landscaping with plants that require less care
*Save money by eliminating unnecessary water and chemical use
*Protect the environment by:
*Conserving water supplies.
*Using chemicals properly and only when necessary to keep waterways and drinking water clean.
*Reducing yard waste by recycling yard trimmings into free fertilizer.
4. Learn about the native species and the negative effects of non native plants and animals in the environment. Plant native species in your gardens, encourage important pollinators such as bees and birds by planting gardens full of their favorite plants. Join a team in your community that removes non-native species.

Photo Courtesy of my Brother in Law

Energy
1. Save energy at home Choose energy-saving appliances if they’re available. Look for Energy Star!
2. Hang dry your clothes.
3. Go renewable! Create your own power from wind, the sun, water, or biofuels.
4. Find alternate ways to reduce use of diesel and other fuels for transportation, production and energy.
Waste
1. Reuse. Upcycle! Take something that is disposable and transform it into something of greater use and value.
2. Recycle metals, plastics and paper
3. E-cycle Recycle and/or properly dispose of electronic waste such as computers and other gadgets
4. Don’t litter! Properly dispose of trash and waste

Photo courtesy of Google

This Earth Day, my family will spend the day outside and unplugged; being mindful of our footprint. We will be staying around our home, working in our garden. I also think it’s time to teach the girls about how to separate the recyclables. On a daily basis, my girls are mindful of their footprint and the older they get the more I will explain. For now, they can help by turning off lights, separating recyclables, not wasting, bathing together, buying locally grown organic foods, helping Mommy hang the clothes on the line and remember the reusable grocery sacs. Life is good. Let’s help it stay that way but raising responsible, socially and environmentally aware children.
The world is a beautiful place and we are allowed to marvel and enjoy her on a daily basis! Please take care of her! Recycle. Reuse. Reduce! Happy Earth Day 2011! The link I am including is a link to great ideas for Earth Day activities to do with your children. Go to a National park, the local farmers market, just go outside and enjoy the marvelous planet of ours! And remember to be #kind2Earth!
https://holidays.kaboose.com/earthday-activities.html

2011/04/17
Cirque du Soleil Volta is a Shock to the Senses
Cirque du Soleil’s Volta is coming to Soldier Field in Chicago this summer. I am so excited. Let’s be honest, every time I get the chance to experience a new Cirque du Soleil, I’m thrilled. Our family loves Cirque du Soleil. We go as often as time and distance allow us. Each show is different and magical in its own way.
The Cirque du Soleil’s iconic Big Top will be raised for the first time at a brand new location for Volta: Soldier Field!
Cirque du Soleil has had a special place in my heart since the Big Guy and I saw our first Cirque show on our honeymoon, 20 years ago. Since then, we love to share the experience with as many people as we can. I feel like every time we leave a show, we’ve grown in some way; our hearts and minds have been expanded beyond disbelief. The name VOLTA refers to a sudden about-face, a change in emotion or idea often used in poetry. It also speaks to the jolt of energy delivered through the show.

READ ALSO: Cirque du Soleil Corteo and Amazing Experience for the Family
We’ve seen Cirque du Soleil in Chicago but never at Soldier Field. My daughters have never been to the Soldier Field, home of the Chicago Bears but thanks to the generosity of Cirque du Soleil that is all about to change this summer.
Cirque du Soleil is excited to add two weeks of performances of VOLTA’s Chicago engagement this spring. The show will be presented under its signature Big Top at the Soldier Field South Lot, 1410 Museum Campus Drive, Chicago, May 18 – July 6, 2019. Tickets, starting at $49, are available for purchase by visiting cirquedusoleil.com/volta or calling 1-877-9CIRQUE (1-877-924-7783).
Volta the show
Energetic, urban and contemporary, VOLTA is a captivating voyage of discovery that showcases never-before-seen under the Big Top acrobatics in a visually striking world. Driven by a stirring melodic score and inspired in part by the adventurous spirit that fuels the culture of street sports, VOLTA is a story of transformation. It is about being true to oneself, fulfilling one’s true potential, and recognizing one’s own power to make it possible. Ultimate freedom comes with self-acceptance, and with the liberation of the judgment of others.
BMX & Street Sports
The creators of VOLTA drew inspiration from the spirit of adventure that pervades the world of BMX, street sports and acrobatics. Whether they are on a bike, hopping from rooftop to rooftop, or double dutch rope skipping, urban sports enthusiasts constantly challenge themselves and defy convention.

Sure to be a Chicago crowd pleaser, VOLTA features a full-blown BMX park mounted on stage in front of the audience’s very eyes for the breathtaking BMX finale as riders invade the stage to deliver a jaw-dropping, fast and furious performance of nonstop acrobatics on wheels. The riders go up the jump boxes and perform air tricks before landing and leaping off the ramps again, crisscrossing and spinning their bikes in midair in a spirit of brotherhood.
READ ALSO: Luzia~ A Vibrant Waking Dream of Mexico
Volta Costumes
The stunning costumes of VOLTA have been designed by Zaldy Goco, famous for his work with Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani and for TV show RuPaul’s Drag Race.
Volta Ticket Information
VOLTA will be presented under the Big Top at the Soldier Field South Lot, 1410 Museum Campus Drive, Chicago, starting May 18. Tickets can be purchased online at www.cirquedusoleil.com/volta. Discover our VIP package – a cocktail reception with open bar and hors d’oeuvres inspired by the show, access to the best seats for greater comfort, complimentary parking and more!
READ ALSO: Running Away with Cirque du Soleil Kurios
To follow along and see what exciting and new experiences Volta will deliver, follow along on Social Media:
Facebook.com/VOLTA
Twitter: @Cirque #VOLTA
Instagram: cirquedusoleil #VOLTA
Have you been to a Cirque du Soleil show? Have you seen Volta? What’s your favorite Cirque du Soleil show and why?
2019/05/23
Moving? It’s Time to Get Things in Order
Estimated reading time: 3 minutes
When you decide as a family to move, for a new start ( and who hasn’t), or for a job change, there are many things that need to be considered, including our children’s well-being. I know because I lived that commuter marriage life for almost 3 years. While moving away is an exciting idea, it can be stressful especially if you’re moving abroad with your family.
Take advantage of the opportunity to be present that moving has given you, it is for the best!
It’s the perfect time to take advantage of the move to make further changes in the child’s life, such as expecting them to learn a new language (if needed) or perhaps wanting them to take up new hobbies. Their rationale is that it does not matter so much to the child if there will be one or two changes because it will be difficult for them in any case; so the key to transition is to ensure it is done smoothly. Just make sure they know that you’ve got their back and use all the moving hacks you can find.

Moving to a new house may end up being a much harder change for the child than the parents imagined. If the child is required at the same time to adapt to additional changes such as learning to walk if they are a toddler or being expected to help out more with other siblings, this could be overwhelming to them. Therefore, it is best to wait patiently for the child to successfully adapt to the new home and only then carry out further change processes.
Things take time, and that is OK.
In conclusion, parents have two particularly important roles with their children when moving away: helping the child to part well from the previous place, and at the same time helping them to adapt well to the new place. You should also note that this change will be hard for you too, so don’t pressure yourself.
Especially when moving abroad, take things slowly and keep the spirits and mood lifted as much as possible, after all this is a positive change you’re making. In essence, you must allow the child to carry out a gradual process of separation from their friends and educational environment.
Talk to them clearly and empathetically about moving home, and do so at the right time – not too early when the child is young and not too late when the child is older.

Introduce them to the new home and the new environment; as well as their new school as this may be the toughest challenge.
Encouraging them to make new friends is good but you should never force them to adapt immediately as change takes time. It also depends on the age of the child, the younger the child, the easier it will be for them to make the change. If they are older, there may be more resistance.
Communication is key as well as having them involved as much as possible, without too much stress arising!
2021/03/28
4K that will take TV Viewing to the Next Level
I have been compensated in the form of a Best Buy Gift Card and/or received the product/service at a reduced price or for free.
As many of you may know, I am a little tech crazy. I always want the latest and greatest tech available. It’s a disease; I caught it from my husband. I swear, when I met him in college he practically had to pry my hands off of my word processor because, hello, who needs a computer when you could type all of your research papers on a state of the art word processor. However, that is no longer the case. I want all the newest tech gadgets and I want them now.
One of my favorite things about the evolution of hi tech is that it is about more than just new innovation Samsung SUHD TV. It’s about taking your television experience to the next level. If you are looking for home cinema installation company in Toronto, you can visit https://tvwallmounting.ca/ in order to benefit from high quality tv installation and tv mounting services at affordable prices.
The 4K is more than just a television it is a viewing experience which is visible immediately if you’ve had the chance to just go to a Best Buy and check it out for yourself.
Here are a few features that I think we could use to complete our vacation.
- Reveal more colors and a brighter picture with Samsung 4K SUHD TV – all powered by a revolutionary panel featuring Nano-crystal technology. The immersive curved screen portrays a greater sense of depth. Easily access the content you love with the advanced Samsung Smart TV.
- You can enjoy a brighter, more true-to-life picture with a wider range of colors
- Peak Illuminator Pro for enhanced picture detail and color
- Improved black levels and contrast for a greater sense of depth
- 4 times the resolution of full HD
Do you love twitter parties? @BestBuy and Brand Ambassador @dodomesticdad will be hosting an SUHD Twitter Party on Thursday June 9th at 7:00pm CST. Feel free to join the twitter party for a chance to receive Best Buy gift cards.
If you shop at select 4K special events, you can even experience this amazing product in person in the store. Right now, you can see an exclusive sneak peek of Jurassic World in Samsung Entertainment Experience Shops inside Best Buy.
And don’t forget to register for our twitter party on June 9^th, 2015 at 6/9 at 7PM CST. RSVP here: https://bit.ly/1ecE5Ru
I’ll be there, I hope you are too!
2015/06/07
LatinaMom
Client: Latina Mom
Website: https://mom.me
Task: Freelance Writer
https://mom.me/contributors/deborah-cruz/

2019/03/30
The Lost Girls of Autism
April is Autism Awareness month. Did you know that? I didn’t. To be honest, I don’t know a whole hell of a lot about the ins and outs of autism and what a diagnosis means for parents and children who live with it. It’s not that I don’t care, it’s that I am not directly affected by it ( that I know of because maybe I have just not paid enough attention). The most interesting thing I’ve learned as a girl mom is how autism is different in girls than boys and how to recognize autism in girls. Did you know it looked different?
I do have friends who have children, more than 1, who are autistic but even though I know them, their children and spend time with them, I ask on a need to know basis and listen when they want me to but I never wanted to pry to the point that I make them feel uncomfortable. I know that sounds like a lazy excuse but I swear, I didn’t want them to feel like they needed to educate me. I’m a Latina/woman/ with a mental health diagnosis…I don’t appreciate having to be anyone’s token anything so I try not to put others in that position.
What is autism?

I’m fully aware that every child with or without autism is different. However, I was assigned a post for Cafemom this week about things everyone should know about Autism and, in my research, I reached out to my friends and asked for help and credible resources and I learned a lot. A lot. I’m so grateful for this assignment.

2021/04/26
Simone Biles Chose Mental Health Over Olympic Glory

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes
Simone Biles did the unthinkable for an Olympian athlete, she withdrew from the individual all-around competition at the Tokyo Olympics to focus on her mental health just a day after her dramatic withdrawal from the team competition. While I found it initially shocking, not because of why she withdrew but that she chose to walk away at all, especially in a world that marginalizes mental health. Simone Biles chose mental health over Olympic glory. I find her to be incredibly brave and the kind of role model our daughters need. What I really found shocking is some people’s negative reaction to it.
“I have to do what’s right for me and focus on my mental health, and not jeopardize my health and well-being,” the decorated athlete told reporters.
To be clear, putting your mental health first is hard, especially in a society that values being number 1 over almost everything else. Quitting is seen as a weakness. We are taught from birth to work hard to achieve our dreams with no regard to the sacrifice and cost to ourselves. Everyone else in the world is competition and our goal is to win. But when you fight that hard to win, something will get lost, often ourselves.

I was talking to someone and their reaction to the Simone Biles situation was that, “she choked and she is selfish because she chose to quit rather than to continue on as part of the team. She took a spot that could have been given to someone else. She threw away an opportunity. She let her team and America down.” This person was visibly annoyed. This person who is not an Olympic athlete nor a competitive athlete. This person who very single-mindedly admonished her for “giving up.” I was flabbergasted because where I saw strength and courageousness, this person saw weakness.
As someone who struggles with her own mental health, as many of us do especially after this pandemic, I can assure you that Simone Biles choice to withdraw was probably one of the hardest decisions that she’s ever had to make. Gold medals are cool and every Olympic athlete spends their life training, sweating and sacrificing in hopes of winning one and the glory and recognition that it brings in their sport. So for her to choose her mental health over her pride is telling and one of the most mature and mentally healthy things I’ve ever witnessed.

Simone Biles chose mental health over Olympic glory and it’s the bravest thing ever.
In all actuality, Simone put her team first by knowing her own mental and physical limitations. Biles confirmed she was not injured but felt her poor vault would jeopardize the team’s chances for a medal. “I felt like it would be a little better to take a back seat, and work on my mindfulness,” she said. “I didn’t want the team to risk a medal because of my screw up.”
Biles admitted that the stress of competing at the Tokyo Olympics, the mounting burden of competing at a pandemic Olympics after the past 16 months of lockdowns and restrictions, may have finally taken its toll.
According to Time, days after arriving in Tokyo, an alternate on the team tested positive for COVID-19, and another alternate was placed in isolation because she was a close contact. “Today was really stressful,” she said. “The workout this morning went okay, it was just the 5.5-hour wait—I was shaking, and barely napped. I’ve never felt like this going into a competition before. I tried to go out, have fun and after warming up in the back I felt a little better, but once I came out here, I felt, no, the mental is not there. I need to let the girls do it and focus on myself.”
We talk about privilege and as a Mexican American woman I’ve felt how privilege works against those who don’t have it firsthand. It wasn’t until within the last 5 years that it hit me just how different it is to be a white man and a Latina woman. For example, I will never know what it feels like to walk down the street alone at night and not feel afraid.
I had no idea that privilege extended to mental health and those who don’t struggle so easily look at those who do as weak. We are not weak; we are strong we learn to bend as to not be broken. If you are really strong, you fight to be your own advocate and that is exactly what Simone Biles did. Backing out wasn’t giving up, it was standing up for her own well-being.
I struggle with my own mental health issues and I’ve had to do a lot of work since my diagnosis 20 years ago. It’s taken a lot of time, understanding, patience, therapy, education and learning to love myself enough to do what needs to be done in spite of what others expect. Intuitively it feels selfish to choose me over others but if I don’t choose myself, my own health and mental health, as a priority who will? I am my own responsibility and I am responsible for my actions. More importantly, I am responsible for my family and if I can’t take care of myself, how can I take care of them?
The past year has been trying on everyone’s mental health. There has been a shift in the way we think. Everyone is a potentially deadly threat due to CoVid. Being in public is exhausting and it’s impossible to feel safe during a world health crisis. Anxiety and depression are a symptom of the new normal. It’s no one’s fault, it is what it is. It’s lingering after effect of the pandemic that every single one of us has been touched by because it is impossible to be normal when nothing else is.
It is counterintuitive for us to choose ourselves over society’s expectations. As humans, especially as Americans, our default setting is that we choose glory over our own good. We choose to push through over sitting with. We want to be the best at all costs. To save ourselves, we have to unlearn all of this to be the stronger and better version of ourselves because, to be honest, the default settings suck. They only work if you want to be a basic bitch with no free will of your own; no responsibility for yourself. It’s brave to choose you. It took a lot of courage for Simone Biles to recognize her limits and withdraw from the competition. She didn’t give up. She did the hardest thing possible, she publicly chose her mental health over what other people perceive as her responsibility.
As a society, we need to change the narrative. Choosing your own health, mental or physical, or your own dreams over the limited expectations that the world holds for you is good. It’s the hard decisions that make us who we are. Going along with something that is detrimental to your health and mental well-being is the most insane thing you can do. If you’re doing that, stop it.
If she had continued on in the Olympics and ended up having a full breakdown, the world would have gasped and said, she should have told someone and withdrew, the Olympics are not worth her sanity. She would have been embraced with empathy but since she made the brave decision to know her own limitations and quit before she was broken, she is being criticized for letting her team down.
The world is a duplicitous place and the people who cry when someone commits suicide and asks why they did it are the same people who mock those who set boundaries they don’t understand. Simone Biles didn’t do a selfish thing and choose herself, she chose the right thing for her and her teammates. She made the hard choice for the right reasons. We should all take a lesson from Simone Biles and choose our health over what other people expect of us. I’m glad our sons and daughters get to see her choose her mental health over a gold medal because that’s much more important than winning. You don’t get to be GOAT without being a trailblazer and she is without a doubt GOAT for life.
2021/07/28
Mom.me
Client: Mom.me
Website: https://mom.me/
Task: Freelance Writer
https://mom.me/contributors/deborah-cruz/

2019/04/27