The TRUTH About Motherhood

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10 Tips How to Not Become an Internet Casualty
I don’t want to become an Internet casualty. As a Lionlock ambassador, I take password and online security very seriously. Safety online is not just needed it is imperative in my line of work. As a blogger, I am in the business of sharing my life out loud on the Internet. Even as someone who has been doing this for years now and as an adult, I still have security slips. I sometimes forget that the Internet is forever and I get caught with my metaphorical pants down.
You know that saying, “A moment on the lips, and forever on the hips”? Well, the Internet is JUST.LIKE.THAT! We are so trusting of the Internet that we often forget that a moment on the Internet truly is FOREVER in the world. You can delete and undo all sorts of things but you are always just a screen grab away for being immortalized in Internet infamy. Those private sexts you sent to your ex? There is no such thing. You say Snap Chat? I say screen grab. That nasty comment you left and then deleted? Already sitting in someone’s inbox. That petty FB update about your soon to be ex? Yep, his lawyers already have a copy in their file. The cute naked photo of your toddler in the bathtub that you uploaded and promptly second-guessed and took down 5 minutes later? Some pedo is already getting his rocks off to it. There is no privacy online.
We’ve all put something on the Internet that we wish we hadn’t. It’s embarrassing and we get over it. It’s like going to a party, drinking too much and wanting to crawl under a rock and die the next day when you see the proof on Facebook. It might not ruin us, but it might. None the less, we’d prefer those moments stayed private because we are left feeling compromised and vulnerable. Unfortunately, there are no second chances on the Internet so you have to know going in that everything you put on the Internet is set in stone for eternity. No matter how badly it may differ from reality. The Internet knows you from glimpses, social media shares and sound bites. There is no emotion, connotation, context or empathy. There is only what you say, what you share and what it sees. The Internet is a cold-hearted bitch and she doesn’t get innuendo or anecdotes. So what you put out there is who she thinks you are. So be safe and think before you go online.
While LionLock automatically audits any interaction that takes place with your passwords in the vault, it is still important to use common sense when sharing any important private information.
Here are a few online security tips to keep you from becoming just another Internet casualty.
1. Keep a Clean Machine
Keep all Internet connected devices free from infection and malware by keeping all critical software—security software, web browsers, apps and operating systems—up to date so that you can counter any new viruses lurking.
Have your security software set to monitor your computer continually, not just a weekly scan.
2. Protect Your Personal Information
Secure your accounts by making passwords long, strong and unique.
3. Own Your Online Presence
This is my favorite. I am very transparent; probably more so than I should be, but I know when I put it out there that it is out there. I consider this every single time I post anything. Set security and privacy settings to your comfort level of sharing.
4. When in Doubt, Throw it Out
If an email, social network post or text looks suspicious, even if you know the source, delete it.
5. Be Web Wise
Be wary of communications that implore you to act immediately, offer something that sounds too good to be true, or ask for personal information.
6. Be a Good Online Citizen or Don’t be a Web Douche canoe
Post only about others what you would have them post about you.
7. Beware of public Wi-Fi ( hint: There is no such thing as FREE wi-fi)
Anytime you use public Wi-Fi, keep in mind that everything you do can be visible to a 3^rd party/stranger that is also connected to the network. Criminals can see everything the users do and capture any information that is sent over the network. Find a staff member at the coffee shop or hotel that can verify the name of the proper network. Also disable auto-connection features when Wi-Fi is not in use.
8. Save money matters for your trusted networks
Even if you’re not on a compromised Wi-Fi hotspot, it’s really best to wait until you’re back on a secure network you trust before shopping or banking. If it’s an emergency and you need to move funds from one account to another, use your cellular data connection rather than public Wi-Fi.
9. Use Secure Sites (Https://)
Secure SSL connections are connections that encrypt any data you send through a website, adding a layer of protection for your private information. There are a couple different ways that you can check to verify that a site is secure. The first is that you’ll notice the https:// turns into https://, with the s indicating it is a secure network. Additionally, there should be a padlock displayed in the URL bar.
10. Secure your mobile devices
In addition to installing security software on computers, it is equally important to have a mobile security app, for your mobile devices. These apps will help your mobile devices stay secure by detecting security flaws in your apps and preventing you from clicking on malicious links.
The Internet is a wonderful place to live and play but it really is what you make it. Just like your home, you wouldn’t go on vacation and leave all the doors and windows open nor would you announce to the neighborhood gossip that you have syphilis. So use your common sense and take precautions to protect yourself online just like you would in your real life.
How do you keep yourself from becoming just another Internet casualty?

Photo Credit: Ellen von Unwerth
Disclaimer: This is a sponsored post on behalf of Lionlock but all opinions are my own. Don’t be an Internet Casualty!
2014/04/09
Fetus Doll~ Precious One
The Fetus Doll handed Out in a Norfolk, VA Elementary school
A fetus doll was being handed out to elementary school aged children as an anti-abortion tactic by a teacher in Norfolk,Virginia.
From the Virginian-Pilot, May 21:
Plastic human fetus dolls – soft, in pink and brown, and about 4″ long – have been handed out at Oakwood Elementary School [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][Norfolk, VA] by an employee who was put on administrative leave Thursday over the situation….
The dolls, which were distributed over weeks or months, are not authorized by the division as instructional materials, spokeswoman Elizabeth Thiel Mather said Thursday. Mather said the employee will remain on leave until school officials investigate the reports….
Principal Sheila Tillett Holas was put on leave today…. The division began its investigation after The Pilot asked school leaders this week about the fetus dolls.
The distribution of the life-like forms among grade school children shocked and repelled some parents and teachers and School Board members who discussed them in a closed meeting this week.
Fetus Doll not Appropriate
Seriously? How can this be allowed? In what way is this acceptable to distribute in an elementary school? This is ridiculous. Students in that age group should not be learning sex ed, little lone about the concept of pregnancy, birth and abortion! I can NOT believe parents didn’t see their kids with this and handle this situation sooner.Weeks? Months? WTH!!! I am flabbergasted. I would have freaked the EFF out if my elementary child came home with this “doll”. Either someone , who has no business doing so, is telling my children about sex and babies or they have effectively given them an inappropriate toy to bring home and left me with the aftermath explanation to a child who is too young to handle the complexity of the concepts involved. CNN, again you have opened my eyes to the atrocities in this world!
A fetus doll is not an acceptable learning too for an elementary school aged child. Would you allow this to take place in your school? What are your thoughts on the fetus doll?
Virginia and the Fetus Doll
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2010/05/26
Earth Day Tips for Raising Environmentally Aware Kids
Earth Day is one of my favorite days of the year because it’s a great reminder to take a moment and be thankful for the planet we live on. I know, it sounds super crunchy but it’s like realizing that you should be thankful for your body for all that it does for you, instead of complaining that it doesn’t look like everyone else’s. I’m always looking for awesome Earth Day tips for raising environmentally aware kids.
Aside from raising your children to be good human beings (which should be first and foremost every parent’s goal) and showing them how to commit random acts of kindness in the world, we have to teach them the importance of taking care of our planet. We have to make it clear that the earth provides for us; food, water, air and everything else we need to survive and thrive in the universe. We need to take care of it in return. Like any good functional relationship, it takes two and lots of respect and reciprocity.
READ ALSO: 10 Steps for being Environmentally Aware
Kids understand so much more, at much younger ages than we often give them credit for. They can understand concepts like climate change, endangered species and overflowing landfills better than some of their adult counterparts. Showing them the way could motivate them to adopt Earth-friendly behavior. Encourage them with your own actions.
You should be having Earth Day conversations with children as young as preschool-aged about why taking care of the planet is such a good idea. The more you talk with your kids, the more they’ll understand but don’t dumb it down too much. Talk in age-appropriate explanations.
- Use Analogies: Wasting the Earth’s resources too quickly is like spending all your piggy bank money before allowance day.
- Outline Causal Relationships: If you throw trash down a storm drain, it can make ocean animals sick.
- Define New Vocabulary Terms: Like “biodegradable,” or “renewable energy.”
- Make Connections to Prior Knowledge: Just like plants use sunlight to make food, solar panels use it to make electricity.
Show your child how important the environment is to everyone around you. But you have to do more than just show them on Earth Day. For eco-friendly behavior to truly become second nature to our kids, it helps if it is done daily, rewarding and fun.
READ ALSO: Beach Bag Must-Haves
Here are Earth Day Tips for Raising Environmentally Aware Kids
1. Recycling: Cut bottle, can and paper slot shapes into your bin lids to make sorting recyclables a fun family game. You can even sing a song while you sort. And if you take your collected items to a recycling center, consider sharing the redemption money with your kids for an added incentive.
2. Transportation: Look for chances to reduce emissions (and your stress levels) by taking car-free trips whenever you can. Biking, walking and riding public transportation can give your family some exercise and make traveling a lot more fun, too. City dwellers should find this easy, but even if you live out in the suburbs, we bet you have a park, restaurant or friend’s house within pedaling distance.
3. Reducing Waste: Help your kids look forward to saving electricity by having one fun candlelight dinner every week. Or encourage them to use less water by timing who can take the fastest shower (while still coming out smelling clean, of course)!
4. Water: Use only the water you need, and reuse when possible.
  Rain barrels can be used to collect rain and then you can use it to water a family garden.
  Bathe together. Put the kids in the tub together. Shower with your kids or your husband. It saves water, creates memories and nurtures the bond between siblings Dispose of solid and liquid wastes and medications safely.
  Take advantage of medication take-back programs or household hazardous waste collection programs that accept medications, pharmaceuticals, oil, paint and other liquid wastes.
5. Pass on gas! For example, take public transportation, carpool, plan your day to reduce trips and vehicle emissions.
6. Make sure your home’s air is healthy, learn about indoor air pollutants from indoor energy use and toxins.
7. Plant a tree. Or plant many trees! Plant a garden. Plant a vegetable garden.
8. Prevent additional air pollution by finding alternatives to burning your waste.
9. Use pesticides safely! Reduce or eliminate where possible.
10. Learn about composting, try it out!
11. Reducing yard waste by recycling yard trimmings into free fertilizer.
12. Learn about the native species and the negative effects of non-native plants and animals in the environment. Plant native species in your gardens, encourage important pollinators such as bees and birds by planting gardens full of their favorite plants. Join a team in your community that removes non-native species.
13. Save energy at home Choose energy-saving appliances if they’re available. Look for Energy Star!
14. Hang dry your clothes. This is one of my favorite things to do.
15. Go renewable! Create your own power from the wind, the sun, water, or biofuels.
16. Find alternate ways to reduce the use of diesel and other fuels for transportation, production and energy.
17. Upcycle! Take something that is disposable and transforms it into something of greater use and value.
18. Recycle metals, plastics and paper
19. E-cycle Recycle and/or properly dispose of electronic waste such as computers and other gadgets
20. Don’t litter! Properly dispose of trash and waste
The best thing you can do is simply the act of getting your kids outdoors; no matter the ages. In our high-tech world, kids spend a lot more time indoors looking at screens. I’m not judging. I’m stating a fact. We all do it but we need to actively get our kids moving outside, for their health and the health of the planet.
One amazing experience in the great outdoors is worth a thousand nature lectures. Children who have an immersive experience in nature between the ages of 5 and 10, tend to care more about the environment. There is also a greater likelihood that they will actively work to preserve the important life-giving aspects of the environment as adults.
READ ALSO: Tips to Keep Your Kids Healthy
Rather than teaching our Earth Day tips about sustainability, give your kids a nature experience that will instill them with an environmental ethic that will inspire them to develop their own dedication to sustainability.
We’ll be spending this beautiful Earth Day outside, as we always do, watching our girl play soccer, going for a nature walk and playing in the backyard. There is something about getting outside, breathing in the fresh air and playing that truly inspires my family. Nature is like my church. I feel most at peace just being still and taking in the wonder and beauty that is outside.
What are your best Earth Day tips for raising environmentally aware kids?
2019/04/22
How to Survive Your Child’s Leukemia Diagnosis
My nephew was diagnosed with Leukemia at 2-years-old. I don’t normally share this story because it’s not my story to share but today, it’s time to speak the words.
“My nephew had leukemia.”
To be honest, I’ve been too afraid to say the words out loud like somehow the words themselves might give the leukemia power and bring the blood cancer fates down on us again.
As a mother, one of my biggest fears is losing one of my children. I often say that I don’t know how I would survive it but the truth is, I know exactly how one survives it. I just don’t ever want to have to.
In 1996, a decade before I was a mother, myself, I was an aunt. Yes, I was that crazy, (probably) over doting, obnoxious aunt to my first nephew, Alex. I’m serious, I had his baby pictures on my nightstand. It scared many of a date when I was single.
I come from a large Latino family and, in our family, family is everything. Mi casa es su casa. What’s mine is yours and we love each other’s children as much as we love our own so baby Alex was fair game as far as all of us were concerned. Alex was the pride and joy of my brother, Carlos and his wife, Jodie. Alex was the first of the next generation of the Cruz kids and we loved that kid more than a fat kid loves cake. If only love could make you immune to the cruelties of the world.
When Alex was only 2-years-old the unthinkable happened, Alex was diagnosed with T-Cell A.L.L (Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia).
With that diagnosis of leukemia, as a family, our world crashed down all around us. The world as we knew it ceased to make sense. I questioned everything I’d ever believed or knew because how could this be happening to a child.
I wasn’t a mother myself at the time so I couldn’t fully understand what that diagnosis felt like as a parent. Hearing my brother’s voice on the phone, hundreds of miles away, with no family around; the pain and anguish in his voice was palpable when he delivered the news. I knew he was broken but he was stoic for his son.
I hung up the phone and sobbed, cursed and prayed. I couldn’t wrap my mind around what was happening. I just knew that this couldn’t be happening. That moment changed all of us. In many ways, it has defined the person I am today.
Experiencing that kind of vulnerability and helplessness makes you realize that every single day is important. Every moment counts. Every word, deed and action of your life means something because your moment may be someone else’s lifetime so embrace life.
Life is fickle and just as quickly as you are crying tears of joy as they are laying your precious newborn baby onto your chest, you can be holding back tears of sadness as you fight for their life. Cancer doesn’t discriminate. It doesn’t care if you are someone’s everything.
My brother and his wife are two of the strongest people I know. When you are a parent of a seriously ill child, you lose the luxury of choosing to collapse in a pool of snot and tears when the world beats you down, you just have to suck it up and be strong for your children no matter how broken and vulnerable you are feeling yourself. Once you get behind closed doors, you can collapse, cry, scream and rage against the world.
You have to be brave for the both of you. You stay strong for your child until you make it out the other side; healthy and happy. My brother and his wife are still two of the strongest people that I’ve ever known.
Back in those days, I was terrified every time the phone rang when I saw North Carolina on the caller I.D. On one particular night, I saw my brother’s number. I held my breath and answered the phone, as I always did in those days. My brother recounted the day’s events, heavily uttering the words that he had to lay across his toddler to hold him down so the doctors could do a spinal tap as my confused 2-year-old nephew screamed,
“I hate you, Papi!”
I could hear my brother’s voice cracking as his heart was breaking.
That’s cancer. Doing the hard things to save your loved one even when it breaks your heart. Watching as the person you love is in pain, wanting desperately to take their place and being helpless to take it away.
This all happened when Carlos was only 22-years-old. My brother and his wife survived Alex’s leukemia with grace, love and hope. Thanks to so many amazing people (doctors, nurses, family and friends) including Wake Forest Baptist Medical Hospital and Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. They went on to have 3 more beautiful children.
Alex went into remission and has not had any relapses. Today, my beautiful nephew, the firstborn Cruz grandchild is a 21-year-old sweet, caring young man. He is our miracle. He is a survivor and we are blessed every single day that we have him here with us. Other families are not so fortunate.
Since then, my brother and his family have hosted countless events to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma society. It’s the one charity that I never say no to when asked it donate. How can we ever repay the debt of a child’s life?
This year my brother was nominated for the honor of being The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society’s (LLS) 2017 Man & Woman of the Year campaign. He deserves it. He is a devoted husband and father who is a pillar of the community and does his best to give back to a world that gave him his son back.
As a family, we have set a goal to raise $100,000 for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society between today and June 1, 2017. I know it’s ambitious but that’s how we Cruz kids roll. We go big, especially when it’s such an important cause.
I am humbly asking for your support in our efforts to help the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in its mission to find a cure for blood cancers and to assist patients and families as they battle this disease. No donation is too small or too large. Every single dollar counts towards finding a cure. Your donation could help save another parent from having to live through this excruciating experience.
There are two easy ways to help the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society find a cure:
1. Make a personal gift. (Your donation is a tax-deductible contribution.). Go to my Leukemia and Lymphoma Society campaign Web site and make your contribution at https://www.mwoy.org/pages/in/neindiana17/dbeckp
1. Invite your business or organization to be a corporate sponsor.
$25,000 – Presenting Sponsor
$ 15,000 – Platinum
$ 10,000 – Gold
$ 5,000 – Silver
$ 2,500 – Bronze
$ 1,000 – Bronze
$1,000, $500 or $250 – Grand Finale Program Ad
I want to personally say thank you from all of us; it truly means everything to us.If you want to learn more about what the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society is doing please go here for latest updates.
If you can donate to help us meet our goal of raising $100,000 by June 1, 2017 for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society please go here and donate whatever you can.
2017/03/23
How Motherhood Can Prepare You for a New Career Path
Being a mom is the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done. I know that’s not politically correct and some of my feminist friends might think I’m setting the cause back but that’s not how I see it. We live in a time where women can have the career of their dreams and then chose to stay home or work outside the home and nobody blinks so that’s progress. Are we getting it all? No, it’s a lot of work but I wouldn’t change a minute of any of it. Did you know that being a stay at home mom, motherhood, can prepare you for a new career after kids?
For me, motherhood has been such a rewarding, empowering and enriching experience. For those of us who choose this path, I think we’d all agree that motherhood is awesome. Maybe it’s not all rainbows and unicorns and there are frequently mid-day blowouts, tantrums and breakdowns (by moms and kids alike) but still, on most days, there is nothing else that I’d rather be doing.
Believe it or not, motherhood can prepare you for a new career path.
But like anything else, too much of anything can simply be too much and it’s okay to admit that mommy burnout is real. Sometimes, maybe after years of parenting, you need something beyond just motherhood because eventually, our kids need us less and we need to fill that time and space with other things or we’ll suffocate our children and feel a void where all of that motherhood energy used to be expended. If you look deep within yourself, you will see that motherhood can prepare you for a new career after kids grow up. You’ve learned a whole lot of amazing skills like time management, organization, multi-tasking and customer satisfaction for the most difficult customers.
If you’re really lucky you’ll find new skills and passions that maybe you didn’t even know you had before. That’s how it’s happened to me. Like many moms, I’ve created career windows where doors were shut. When you are following your bliss, you are happy and your kids see that.
READ ALSO: How to be a present mom and have a career
Pursuing outside dreams and goals is actually good for your health and the overall wellbeing of your family. Having a mom who is happy, healthy and living her best life will trickle down to our kids; it teaches them how to live their best life, too – unapologetically following their goals and dreams, becoming the person they want to be. It’s a great example for how to live their lives. You owe it to yourself to be happy and your family wants that for you. You’ve spent so many years tending to everyone else’s needs and wants, maybe it’s time to take care of you a little bit.
But what to do after being a stay-at-home mom?
After years of giving your all to your kids and putting yourself last, you might be in the dark as to how you begin pursuing a passion. Or maybe you’re just ready to enter back into the workforce and don’t know where to start; what choices are available. You’ve got this girl. You’re currently a genius multitasking, organizing, go-getter who keeps humans alive for a living. You’ve got this. Your time is now. Follow your bliss. You’re not too old until you’re dead so don’t give me that.
READ ALSO: When Happiness hits you like a train
Pursuing a brand new career, especially as an adult who has been home raising little people, can be a little daunting, but it’s also really exciting and incredibly fun. So many fields are open to you, and believe it or not, your skills as a parent have been training you for the discipline and creativity needed to pursue something new. Careers are out there in every field from healthcare to food, to business and more, all suited to your specific, special skills and interests. I’ve suggested a few things below to help get your creative ideas following.
This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately myself. I recently dipped my toe back into the outside of my home workforce and while it’s not my dream job, it’s reignited a fire in me to know exactly what my passion is and set me on a new path to pursue it.
I’m choosing a new career after kids.
You’re hearing it first here people, I’m putting it into the universe, I’m going back to school for my Masters in Digital Marketing and I’m more excited about it than I’ve been in a while. It’s a field I’m already in just with more in-depth knowledge, a few certifications and a degree with expertise. Now is the time for me and I can feel it in my gut that this is what I want.
Exciting Careers for moms going back to work
These are just a few options for exciting pursuits open to moms, for when you’re ready to re-enter the workforce and find a career or part-time gig that gives you excitement, joy and yes, makes you seriously good money. Having a great resume will improve the chances of you getting the job.
Become a Chef/Caterer/Food Vendor
Ok, so this one does involve a lot of work, but it’s a good kind of work. Fun, productive, delicious work. This is why a lot of women go into this field after their kids get a little older. In fact, the kids can help you with this venture. It’s a labor of love. Whether your dream is to be a pastry chef at a fancy bistro, to sell home-made donuts at sports events, or make custom-cakes and cookies for birthday parties, this is an attainable dream that will flex your brain, let you be creative, show off your unique talents and best of all: you can make a lot of money at it. There are plenty of women out there who, armed with only some mixing bowls and an Instagram feed, have revamped their entire career and started lucrative businesses selling sweet treats.
Become a Nurse
Again, a career in family medicine that involves a lot of study and hard work. But there are so many women who go back to nursing school later in life. With so many different types of nursing degrees to choose from, you can pick any field from ER Nursing to pediatric care (babies!). Many women talk about nursing school as one of the most fun, dedicated and amazing times in their life; times where they made lifelong friendships while pursuing a respected career. Nursing also pays really well and in some cases, you can enjoy a flexible schedule. I believe it’s a calling, like teaching, because it takes a special person who loves people.
Work in a theater
Granted, acting comes to mind when people hear theater, which is a great career choice. However, there is more to this field than acting; there are so many opportunities you can explore. For instance, you can make an excellent director with your new-found organising, and multi-tasking skills. You can learn more about directing from experts like Travis Preston, so feel free to consider this. Or, you can choose to be a choreographer, dancer, script writer if you have the skills.
Become a Pilot
This is one of the most exciting careers that I can think of. I love flying and more and more women are becoming pilots these days. With four different types of pilot licenses available, you can be a part-time pilot, a commercial pilot, or whatever you want to be. You’re a woman, you are fierce and you can do all the things. There’s nothing cooler than a woman conquering the skies! And whether you want to make a career of it or just a weekend hobby, there are courses of study available to you no matter where you are.
READ ALSO: How to Get Yourself a Life after Motherhood
These are just three of the many, many hundreds of career choices open to you, if you’re a mom looking to get back out in the world and start a new career venture. There will never be a job more rewarding than raising your kids, and we know what a good mom you are. Taking some time for you, to become your best self and realize those goals and dreams of your own will only make you an even better mama to your children. Let’s dust off those cobwebs and start following those dreams. Your spirit – and your kids – will thank you for it. I’m doing it. You can too!
If motherhood can prepare you for a new career, and nothing was off-limits, what would you be when your kids grew up?
2020/02/15
Mommy Dilemma: Not Enough Hours in the Day
There are not enough hours in the day. I don’t know when this happened. When the girls were babies, I thought for sure that I was stretched as thin as I could possibly be. I was always blissfully exhausted. It was all about the babies, all the time. I was neglected. The house was neglected. My husband was even a little neglected but everyone knew and understood…I had babies. So, I got a pass of sorts. There were simply not enough hours in the day to be a good mommy and to be a crack chef with a perfectly cleaned and decorated home. I knew it, my husband knew it and anyone passing by reading the “please don’t ring the doorbell, there’s a sleeping baby in the house” sign KNEW IT!
But a strange phenomenon has happened. I had my children in my 30’s. To me, it didn’t seem old. It seemed logical and, for me, it was the right time. I just turned 40 and I was all, embrace the change and I am. I am embracing the shit out of 40. I’m squeezing that bitch so hard that her head might pop off. I swear to God, I feel about 30 but I have gathered some wisdom and I actually feel like I am in a better place in life than I actually was at 30. Surprise.
Suddenly there is absolutely not enough hours in the day anymore.
I was just having this discussion with the Big Guy yesterday, our life used to be filled to the hilt in every nook and cranny, oozing babies. Our life revolved around our girls. It had to, how would they survive and thrive if it didn’t? I loved it. Sure, I complained about having no time and no sleep but damn it, I loved every single minute of it. And any mom who has had a child in her 30’s will tell you, they keep us young. Hell yeah, when you are chasing babies and being pregnant, you feel younger because you are at the beginning of that part of your life. Until one day, reality sneaks up on you.
Days are flying by at warp speed.The routine is packed full and many of you probably recognize it because you are living it: wake up, wake kids up, feed kids, get kids to school, have coffee, work, break for lunch, smush as many errands as possible into your lunch break, do laundry, fold laundry, never put laundry away, pick up the house, pick up the kids, do homework with the kids, cook dinner, give kids a bath,5 minutes of idle chit chat with husband, argue kids into bed, take a shower, check on kids, assure kids that if they don’t go to sleep right this instant you are taking away Halloween, remember that you forgot to call your mom back, organize the class Halloween party for both kids, email 30 parents, watch television while checking emails, brush teeth, every other Friday and Tuesday have a quickie with your husband, get interrupted by a child who has woken up,fall asleep, be woken up by your husband to finish, go to the bathroom, go to sleep for 3 hours until the other kid comes in to ask you to walk them back to bed and watch them until thy fall asleep, stumble back to your room, go pee for the 3rd time and then wake up 2 hours later when the damn alarm goes off, REPEAT!
Not enough hours in the day. Not enough years in life.
Next thing you know, you are the oldest mom in the class. Fuck! I hate when that happens. You might not look the part, oh but you feel the part. That moment when your 7-year-old knows all the lyrics and you don’t even know who the hell the artist is, that’s when it hits you. Or when you look at the other moms at pick up and think, Geez there sure are a lot of teen moms at this school. Or when you realize you don’t even know what is hip to wear anymore. You are going between yoga pants and DVF and this other mom is wearing TOMS and skinny jeans. That’s when you know. You are most definitely not in the same place in life. 40 may not be ancient but when the other mothers my age have kids in middle school and mine are in the beginning stages of elementary school. You just know. One day, someone is going to think I am my daughters’ grandma and then I am going to fall down and die…on the spot.
I am 40 years old and there are not enough hours in the day to get everything I need to do done. My life is good. I make a living doing what I love. I have two wonderful kids ( mostly except for the rare occasions everyday at bedtime when their heads spin off and they lose their minds). I’m married to a man that I not only love but honestly, LIKE. I have great friends and I’m finally at a place where I was feeling comfortable in my skin. It lasted almost a month to the day. Then last night I woke up with night sweats and then I realized I did the same thing the night before. Next thing you know, I was up at 3:45 googling night sweats and perimenopause and on the verge of tears.
It was most likely because our room was 107 degrees and one of the littles had found their way into our bed and was snuggled into me but you know, perimenopause is where my optimistic mind went at 3:45 am. There are not enough hours in the day to worry about imaginary problems.
What makes you feel like there are not enough hours in the day?
photo credit: ezra1311 via photopin cc
2012/10/24
Inaugural Throat Punch Thursday Link Up; Skins, Sibs & DownLow Jammies
This week is the first week that I am opening Throat Punch Thursday up for linking up and I am very excited! Basically,the premise is this…you write a post about who you think deserves a Throat Punch.It can be anybody in the entire universe.It can be personal, it could be someone in the news ( my favorite source is CNN) or anyone or anything that you think warrants getting its Throat Punched. A high and hard punch to the gullet, you be the judge. Once the post is written, come here, grab the button and put it on your post, and link up.The only thing that I ask is that you follow me. If you are looking for the GFC button, select “more info” tab on the header and there it will be.
Moving on with my selection for Throat Punch Thursday, I have to be honest,there were so many asshats this week that I could not narrow it down to one single recipient.So, for our inaugural Throat Punch Thursday link up I have selected three recipients.
The first recipient is all the crazed Mommies up in arms about this stupid ass MTV show “Skins”. Believe me, I want to boycott that bitch for the poor acting alone but come on..link ups to boycott a show? It’s a show from the same folks who bring you “Jersey Shore” what were you expecting? I mean, who even watches MTV anymore? It sucks.That’s a fact. You should expect it to suck. I fully agree that Skins is not appropriate viewing material for anyone under the age of 18. But we have parental control,do we really want to bring censorship into the mix? Then there was the whole the kids are under 18 who are “acting” in the show.Well, I’m pretty sure their parents have to sign a waiver and a guardian has to be on set. Do we put the parents in jail?I mean where does this stop? Let’s just turn the damn channel and call it a day!So, to you ladies, you get a Throat Punch!
Next,Oprah’s “Secret”! How the hell is this newsworthy? Have we become so ridiculous as a nation that the world stops and holds its breath to hear Oprah’s “Secret” but there are people dying in the streets from hunger, no shelter and violent crimes but for Oprah…we care! I personally don’t give a shit if she has a sister or 20. I don’t give a rats ass if she is part man or donkey or whatever. I know she’s “Oprah” but that doesn’t make her any more valuable than any other person in the world..to me. Hopefully, to her Mama and that half sister of hers,she is worthy of caring about her secret. So, Throat Punch to everyone who stood in silence for an entire day waiting to hear this ridiculous piece of information.I am glad she can get that out to 8million people…I believe that is what she said her reach was on Barbara WahWah. Kudos to you and your reach.
Last, but certainly not least, the creators, distributors and wearers of Pajama Jeans! Need I even elaborate? But you know me, of course I will. First, who the hell are they supposedly fooling? Do any of you confuse jeans with pajamas? It’s almost as ridiculous as those Jean diapers.Because, obviously, we were all fooled. I am sickened that not only do we make everything Super sized, this causes people to be super sized and instead of trying to get everybody healthy, some idiot decides “why do that? Let’s just make “Pajama jeans” so everybody fits them because they are PAJAMAS!” When did that become OK? To wear our pajamas around town, I must have missed the memo. I do take a personal offense that they market them to “Busy Moms”. As if it takes so much time and effort that us sodding lazy Mommies can’t be bothered to button a fly. Or maybe its that they think we have such low regard for ourselves that this is a step up from our yoga pants. Well, I say no! If I’m wearing my yoga pants, at least I’m half way there to working out. With Pajama jeans, I’m half way back in bed…super sizing myself. So, to you PAJAMA JEANS and all of your affiliates I say you get a donkey kick to the head for being such insulting bastards!
Well,that wraps up my Throat Punches for this Thursday. I hope you will all link up and leave me a comment so that I can come read your posts! I can’t wait to see who you all bestowed your Throat Punches on. Happy Throat Punch Thursday! And remember, don’t get mad..give them a Throat Punch!
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2011/01/27
The Freedom to be Spontaneous with the Gift that Keeps On Giving Every Time the
I am a member of collective bias and this shop has been compensated by #CollectiveBias, Inc. and it’s advertiser. All thoughts and opinions are mine alone.
Warning: This is a PG-13 post in which I discuss marital relations between consulting adults but if you are easily offended by discussing adult themed topics, you are welcome to stop reading.
What do you get for that special man in your life who has everything this Christmas? There is one thing that I know the Big Guy (and every guy for that matter) always likes…you know what I’m talking about, the freedom to be spontaneous like before you became parents. A little unprovoked, unsolicited, uninterrupted (ahem) personal “attention” and he can’t buy that (well, he can but he really shouldn’t.) Since I don’t own a time machine, nor are my beloved kids refundable, I’m asking Grandma to keep the kids overnight, adding a little personal lubricant ( come on ladies, you all know what I mean, sometimes we need a little jumpstart) and letting the good times roll. Merry Christmas, baby!
The Big Guy and I have been married forever for 15 years. When we first got married, romance was easy. We were in our 20’s so attraction and having relations didn’t take any effort at all. We were breathing and we were always ready. It didn’t hurt that we were both pretty hot. We were spontaneous because we had the leisure of time, privacy and youth. There was no stress, laundry or tiny people crawling on us and promptly spitting up on one or both of us. FYI, spit up.is.not.attractive.Not even on Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp. These days, we are simply spontaneous challenged.
We’re 40ish. We have kids who are just old enough to be nosier than they should be. I have insomnia. He gets up for work at 4:30 a.m. and every night is a game of musical beds, thanks to recovering co-sleepers who still think they lay claim to our bed. Sometimes we’re just too damn tired. Yes, it happens!
Don’t feel sorry for us yet. Thanks to a couple afternoons of working from home, we manage some “us” time but I miss making out on the couch (with no one under 5 foot asking, “What cha doin?”), and being able to be spontaneously whisked off to bed/floor/kitchen countertops or finish what we started because kids arguing over Barbie dolls in the next room causes everything south to go dry like the Sahara. Honestly, why does no one tell you that children are female erection killers?
Speaking of which, last week, for 48 hours straight, on 3 occasions, the Big Guy and I were trying to “have relations” when the 7-year-old burst into the room or beat at the door. It’s like she’s my mom and she has radar whenever I might be trying to do the deed. I’m a teenager all over again, except this time I’ve got a mortgage and gray hair and I’m trying not to get busted by a person who sometimes still needs me to cut up her food. Thank God for bathrooms with locks.
So forget waiting for the perfect time, I’m sick of trying to fit “couple time” in between the minute they go to sleep and the surprise hour that they have to pee/get water/ or remember they had homework. Mama needs some adult time with the Big Guy.
This Saturday, I’m giving us an early Christmas present, a child-free night where we can just be Debi and the Big Guy (not mommy and daddy) and maybe channel those two college students who met 17 years ago. I’ve enlisted grandma to keep the girls overnight, made a trip to Target and bought some K-Y® LIQUIBEADS® (to make sure everything down below is ready to go at a moments notice), made reservations for dinner at a place that doesn’t serve chicken nuggets and can’t wait to see where the night leads.
I’ve heard good things about the K-Y® LIQUIBEADS® and they seem easy to use.
- Simply place the OVULE insert firmly into the top of the applicator so it will not fall out.
- Hold the applicator containing the OVULE insert by the opposite end from where the OVULE insert is located.
- Gently insert the applicator into the vagina as far as it will go comfortably.This can be done while standing with your feet comfortably apart and knees bent.
- Push the plunger all the way in to place th OVULE insert as far back in the vagina as possible.
- Throw away applicator after use.
- Insert a bead once every few days so that your body is ready whenever the mood may strike.
I know sometimes when you are pregnant, you really want to be “spontaneous” often, especially with all those “romantic” dreams but if you’re pregnant or nursing, consult a doctor before using.

Coupon available coupon available at coupons.com $1 off any K-Y® product –
2014/12/18
Tips to Save You Time and Money in the Kitchen that Let You Enjoy Your Summer
My house has been a mess all summer. My kitchen has been the worst. It’s been difficult changing my routine and getting used to the girls being home. Don’t even get me started on the dish situation in this house this summer. Between the traveling, the summer entertaining, sleep overs and flow of other people’s children in and out of my house, we have more dirty dishes than a school cafeteria and I thought the never ending laundry was out of control. I do dishes at least 3 times a day and I am never caught up.
I don’t know about you but my girls tend to dirty dishes like they are in some sort of dirtying dishes and destroying my kitchen contest. Speaking of which, is there some symbiotic way for dishes and trash to breed? Because if there is, I’m quite sure the trash and dishes in my kitchen have figured it out. It’s a full time job keeping up with it and it doesn’t even pay.
What are my choices? It’ not like I’m going to stop letting my daughters have their friends over, isn’t that what summer’s all about. I’m also not going to stop entertaining because aren’t friends, family and having fun together making memories the good things life is filled with? So what if people dirty dishes and make messes, I like my life messy. It makes it feel lived in and loved on.
What I don’t want to do in the middle of all of this wonderful living, most of which happens in the heart of my house, the kitchen, is to go broke, be wasteful or have a disgusting house that people are afraid to visit. My kitchen is the natural gathering space in my house and I’ve just learned to embrace that fact.
When all the kids are over and I’m feeding more than just my two or I’m going for the little splurges in life like a hot fudge sundae bar party for a group of energetic 9 to 11-year-olds, I need to stay on top of the state of my house without turning into the crazy lady who made it not fun because she was so worried about the mess. I know you know what I mean. We’ve all been there; that moment when we need to let it go but we can’t.
I want to do all these things but I need to find ways to do it on a budget and while not letting my kitchen spin out of control into a heaping pile of strewn garbage on counters and dirty dishes (and we all know how fast a sundae bar can go south with a group of excited little girls.)
Below are a few tips to save money in the kitchen so that you have it extra for life’s sweet splurges and also how to keep yourself from spending all of your free time washing dishes.
Well, unless you want to put all those extra kids to work in your kitchen. No, probably not the best idea.
Tip #1 You need durable garbage bags.
Hefty Ultra Strong bags are an outstanding quality for cleaning up all the mess your creating while having all that fun this summer. At a new, lower price it’s a value especially when you consider the durability, Arm & Hammer odor neutralizers and new, invigorating scents that help to keep odors at bay so even when your kitchen is full of people, the smell of garbage won’t be overwhelming your guests. Plus, a scent-free option for those who prefer it that way! Add to all of this a top-quality performance with active tear resistant technology that provides better puncture resistance and you can feel secure knowing there is less likelihood you’re going to leave a streak of shame while transporting garbage from inside the house to the outside. We’ve all done it and it’s bad enough alone, no one wants to do this in front of a house full of party goers?
The best part is that you can easily pick these bags up at your local Walmart or Target to try them. Plus you can go on Ibotta and earn $1.00 cash back via Ibotta after purchasing one box of Hefty trash bags. Or you can go on Coupons.com and save $1.00 off one box of Hefty trash bags.
Tip #2 Paper products are your friend
There was a time when I would have scoffed at the idea but now that I have two growing children and lots of extra people coming and going, eating and drinking (and can someone tell me why little girls need a new glass every single time they drink anything?) in my house, I know the value of disposable paper products. Plastic cups and sturdy paper plates can save you a lot of time in the kitchen and a lot of aggravation. Just enjoy your people and forget about who’s going to do the dishes and when it’s going to get done. At the end of the party, just put it all in the garbage back and forget about it.
Tip #3 Use a Canning Jar to Keep Leftover Wine Fresh for Up to a Week
I learned this one from Food52 and I love it. I love good wine but my husband is allergic to sulfites so I don’t normally buy the wine I like because I can’t drink and entire bottle by myself and I didn’t want to waste it. Anyways, by limiting the wine’s contact with air, which contains the oxygen that causes wine to oxidize this trick accomplishes the same goal by using a jar that is slightly smaller than the amount of wine to be stored. Place the jar on a kitchen towel and fill to the very top. When the lid is screwed on, the jar should overflow a little, which lets you know there is no air between the lid and the wine. According to the wine experts who gave Food52 this tip, wine stored this way will last up to a week. It’s a total win. I save my wine. I save my money and then I saved money again because, just so happens my dad worked at Ball glass my entire life and we have loads of mason jars, so no need to buy a fancy wine saving gadget or even new mason jars!
Tip #4 Keep Berries Fresh Longer
Who doesn’t love berries in the summer? We buy in bulk. The only problem is that berries ripen quickly in the warm weather and sometimes you end up throwing out an entire container. That not only hurts my heart it hurts my pocketbook. Wash your berries before storage in a diluted vinegar bath (1 cup of vinegar and 3 cups of water). Then place in a salad spinner lined with paper towel and spin them until they are completely dry (if you don’t do this, it will actually accelerate the rotting process). Store your cleaned berries in a sealable container lined with paper towels. I actually put a piece of paper towels between each level of berries to help soak up any excess water. Leave the lid open so that moisture can escape. Moisture is the enemy. According to Lifehacker, this method extends the shelf life of berries by days and the vinegar destroys bacteria and mold spores on the berries, helping them stay fresh longer.
Tip #5 Keep your countertops free of mess
When you see that you countertop is clean, it just gives you that motivation to keep everything clean as well. I recommend getting a granite countertop for easy cleaning and when you see it messy, it will show as well. So, get started now and see the different granite transformations you can do to your kitchen.
What’s your best tip to save money in the kitchen?
I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed about how to save money in the kitchen are all my own.
2016/06/24
Modern Appliances help Busy Parents Win at Parenting
Disclosure: This is a compensated post written by me on behalf of LG Appliances but all opinions on parenting are my own.
Life is hectic when you have children who are involved in everything and parents who are equally as involved. My husband works as a global business analyst; his work comes home with him, but it also takes him away from home.
I work from home full-time as a writer which also takes me on lots of travels (which I love!) but I’m also a member of the school board, room mom for both of our daughter’s classes (party days are a workout for me), a member of the junior league and a volunteer for every activity and field trip there ever was, is or will be at school. Yet, this is the life we chose. This is our version of happiness. What’s the saying? Busyness is close to Godliness? Oh wait, no, that’s cleanliness. Oops!
However, now the girls are following suit and they’re involved in cheer, gymnastics, ballet, tap, robotics, choir and violin plus they both secured parts in the city’s Nutcracker ballet this year. Of course, I volunteer for that too. We’ve always said that we’d encourage them to go for whatever they wanted to try but it leaves us really busy with no time for the everyday chores like dusting and laundry.
Don’t get me wrong, we still wash clothes… so many clothes (all of those uniforms and never ending unpacked luggage. We have tutus and leotards coming out of our noses) but it doesn’t necessarily always get put away.
To add insult, in a crazy turn of events (and a terrible twist of my ankle) I took a tumble on my sister’s wedding day (in which I was the maid of honor) while we were taking wedding party photos (no cocktails were involved) and I broke my leg (while spraining the other one). It’s left us in a terrible debacle because now all of the chaos has fallen onto the shoulders of my dear husband, who at this point can barely see straight he is so exhausted.
The other Saturday, amongst all the chaos that is our lives these days, as we were rushing to get the family out the door for a football game at 8 a.m. in the morning before heading off to pointe class and then on to Nutcracker fittings and before celebrating a particularly peculiar distant relative’s toddler son’s birthday, grape jam dribbled from my daughter’s toast down to the bib of her cheerleading uniform! The humanity!
I heard the screech of my daughter, the moan of my husband and I knew surely something terrible had befallen the house of Cruz. I wheeled myself into the kitchen as quickly as possible to find our not so cheery cheerleader. I immediately insisted that she shed her uniform as I went into full-on manic spot cleaning and continuous praying.
After a rigorous hand washing with vinegar and cold water, I was able to throw it in the washer on delicate and maintain my reputation of super (ordinary, extremely exhausted) mom. Thank goodness for quick thinking and short timed wash cycles. She may have been a little damp but thankfully, it was a beautiful, sunny autumn day!
I’m not sure what would have happened had I not had a good washer and dryer to remedy the situation. I shudder to think of the drama that might have befallen our home that morning!
Thankfully, LG Electronics is devoted to creating home appliances that help simplify household chores while focusing on creating feature-rich appliances, with stylish designs that push technological boundaries to improve the home appliance experience as well as save them time and energy.
LG’s Mega-Capacity Top-Load laundry pair (Models WT7700 and DLEX7700VE) offers enhanced convenience and performance, helping save both time and energy. Users can wash a king size comforter and full set of bedding in a single load; saving time. With the washer at 5.7 cubic feet of mega-capacity and dryer at 9.0 cubic feet of space, consumers have access to the largest capacity top load washer in its class* possible for loads of laundry.
Top-Load Washer incorporates LG’s time-saving TurboWash®, which provides 30-minutes of time savings on every wash cycle, while the dryer features TurboSteam™, which works gently but powerfully to refresh fabrics and reduce wrinkles in half the time of other steam settings. Both settings deliver greater efficiency and world-class cleaning performance. Perfect for school morning cheerleading uniform emergencies.
LG’s EasyLoad™ Dryer is the first to open two ways, from the top (hamper style) to easily toss in wet clothes from the washer and sideways to quickly unload dry clothes into the laundry basket. This unique setup allows users to easily transfer clothes through the top to minimize bending and dropping clothes on the floor, makes it easier than ever to drop in and unload laundry. If only the dryer could fold and put the clothes away, the world would be a perfect place.
What would you do with the 30 extra minutes in your day thanks to LG’s TurboWash® technology? Tell us in the comments for a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card!
*Based on manufacturers published specs of top load washers with a width of 29 inches or less.

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2015/11/24