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  • Working as a Parent: How to Manage It

    Working as a Parent: How to Manage It

    When you have children, your entire world changes drastically. This is completely normal and understandable. If you’re not obsessed with your kids, I need to know how you do it because, tbh, I am dreading the letting go. At the end of the day, you’ve brought a little being into this world who is going to be entirely dependent on you for many years to come, and who will lean on you for the rest of their life. My girls are teens now and they still need me as much as they did when they were toddlers, just in different ways. It’s a whole lot of responsibility but a privilege and honor too.

    You’re inevitably going to find yourself changing your day to day tasks and routines in order to accommodate them and provide them with everything they need to grow and thrive. Believe me, I am not the same person I was before I had my daughters and that’s fine; I’ve evolved. You’ll see your social schedule changing, your family schedule changing, your day to day tasks and to-do’s changing… the list goes on. That is evolution. One area that can change drastically when you have a child is your work life and career. Even if you have every intention of going right back into the workforce, sometimes you change your mind, like I did. They’re not overstating when they say that a baby changes everything. It really does, in every single way that you can imagine and even in some ways that you never would have. Here’s some information on what you may expect and how to manage your work around your little one.

    Parental Leave

    If you are in an employed role, most countries entitle you to some parental leave when you bring your child into this world or when you adopt a child. This gives you time to recover from any physical processes involved, as well as being able to care for a new dependent or familiarise them with their new home and environment. Make sure that you’re fully aware of the rights that you have in regards to this. Different countries have different rules and allow different periods of time off, paired with different levels of pay and support for time taken off. Knowing what you are entitled to can help you a lot, ensuring that you can enforce your rights and experience the benefits you’re entitled to. It can also help you to create a timeline regarding how long you’ll be able to spend at home with your child and how you’re going to want to spend and manage that time. Finally, it allows you to start looking into childcare options in advance of heading back to the workplace if this is what you’re planning on doing.

    Working vs. Staying at Home

    Of course, not everyone has the option of giving up work when they have a child. But it’s important to consider your options and what appeals most to you. Some people will want to get back to work as soon as possible, as their careers mean a lot to them. Some may want to give up work in order to focus on their child. Neither is a wrong or right answer or path to follow. It’s entirely dependent on a whole host of personal factors. One thing to consider is the cost of heading back to work vs. staying at home as a stay at home parent. When you go back to work, you will be earning an income, but also have to consider the costs of childcare. You may need to earn over a certain amount to make working financially viable, as childcare costs in many areas can be high. Alternatively, you may be able to turn to a family member for support, or your workplace may offer payment of childcare costs or childcare contributions. Staying at home means you may not earn an income, but don’t have to worry about childcare costs. Weigh up all of the different factors to determine what’s best for you and your child.

    Do Something You Love

    You need to make sure that whatever role you’re working is in a field that you love. Heading to a nine to five that you can’t stand is just going to make extra work and stress for you. Think of your personal interests, strengths and what makes you happy. Many parents find that caring roles suit them well. Nursing is a good option, as it requires less medical training than positions like doctor or surgeon, meaning you can get into the field more quickly and easily. Nursing also gives you a great sense of purpose, helping you to feel more content with the fact of facing time away from your children. Once you’ve chosen a role that you love, make sure that you have what you need in the role and engage in things that help make each day more positive. Choose Uniform Advantage Cherokee Scrubs for bold and empowering colors that will give you confidence and add a ray of sunshine to your patient’s days. Ask for support as and when you need it from your manager or supervisor. In short, make a conscious effort to make every day the best it can be at work.

    Remote Work

    Remote work is becoming increasingly common and is an option that allows you to work from your own home. This is becoming increasingly favored by many parents, as it allows a host of perks that benefit both them and their child. Of course, when you work from home, you still have to work, so this doesn’t mean that you will be paid to take care of your child, or that you will be able to work without having to consider childcare. You may still need to find childcare for your little one while you’re concentrating on your work. But the benefits are that you don’t have to worry about spending time or money on the commute to and from a workplace elsewhere. This frees up time and cash that could be spent on other things, such as your little one. You also haver access to your personal space during your breaks, which could be used productively, such as quickly putting a wash in, preparing some elements of dinner and more. Consider searching for remote positions if you specialize in a role that can be completed from home. Some companies also offer hybrid roles – where some days are spent working on site and some days are spent working from home – that allow flexibility.

    Flexible Work

    Some workplaces are stricter than others. Some will require you to be working specific times and available at specific times. Others allow more freedom, simply stating that you need to log your working hours and can do so throughout the course of the day. If you require more flexibility with your working hours – perhaps you need to drop your child to school, clubs, appointments and more – you could look for a company that’s going to be more flexible with you and your needs. Alternatively, you could try to arrange this with the company you already work for. Many will oblige, as long as you state when you are and aren’t available in your calendar. This can make managing your work life alongside your personal life a lot simpler and straightforward. This can also work well with shift work.

    After School Clubs

    Often, children finish school before the majority of adults finish work. This can cause issues if you’re unable to collect them from school when you’re still meant to be on shift. But this, of course, is an extremely common challenge many parents face. This is why many schools have offered up after school clubs and extracurricular activities. They will keep your child in school and provide them with entertainment, fun and games until you are ready to collect them. Not only is this fun your children, helping them to enjoy themselves around others of their own age and developing new skills, but it means you don’t have to worry about arranging external childcare or collections.

    Summer Camps and Sessions

    Another challenge that working parents can face is school breaks and holidays. Children get a lot more breaks than adults do – often around special occasions or summer breaks. They will be off school, but you may still be required to go to work. What happens here? Well, many solutions have been offered up as this is a problem that many parents would otherwise struggle to negotiate and manage. Common activities for children during these breaks include daily activities, where your child can be dropped off in the morning before you head to work, or camps, where children can stay for a longer and more extended period of time.

    Support Networks

    As with any element of being a parent, it really is important that you have a good support network around you to help you through the process of working and parenting at once. This network will differ between one person and another, and there’s no right or wrong way of managing it. There are some people who will rely on their partner to split responsibilities. Some people will rely on family members and friends for support. Remember that you are never alone. If you don’t have these individuals to count on, you’re by far not the only person to feel this way. There are others out there who will be more than happy to help, from other parents to support groups and more.

    Relaxation and You-Time

    If you are working and parenting, chances are, you’re pretty exhausted. Nobody is superhuman and you’re going to find that you definitely need some time away from both activities to let your hair down and recuperate. This is why scheduling some relaxation time and you-time is important on a regular basis. This can vary from one person to another, as different people unwind in different ways. It could be something as simple as getting up a little earlier than your kids to enjoy a hot drink and the news or a TV program. It could be waiting up a little after they go to bed to have a bath and soak. It could be splitting childcare on weekends so that one weekend you may take care of someone else’s kids, but the next you can look forward to an afternoon or evening spent to yourself doing what you want to do – whether that’s a meal out, cinema or simply a long, well deserved nap. You don’t want to overload yourself and experience burnout, as then you won’t be able to look after yourself or your little ones.

    As you can see, working and parenting are two draining activities that can be quite difficult to manage at once. But it is possible. Hopefully, some of the advice above will help to guide you on this journey, taking the paths that best suit you, your children, your lifestyle and your needs. Give them a try and see how things improve!

  • Proven Ways to Help Support Your Child at School

    Proven Ways to Help Support Your Child at School

    Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

    The coronavirus pandemic has been hard on everyone, especially kids. The world has been an upside-down and, quite frankly, scary place to be since 2020. The new normal is not normal, at all. So, if you feel like your child isn’t doing as well as you think they are capable of in school, then you know how frustrating this can be not only for you but for your child. You may feel helpless, as though nothing you do helps, and maybe you even feel hopeless that you have no choice but to watch them struggle. It doesn’t have to be this way though, in fact, there are many ways that you can give your child the help and support they need.

    Teach your Child that Failure is Okay

    This is something I, as an adult, still struggle with myself. If you want to get good at something, then you have to start by being bad at it. Encouraging your child to increase their rate of failure is the best way for you to help them learn. Teach them that with failure comes success, and make sure that they are resilient too. If you can do this, then they will take setbacks much easier, and it will also help to prepare them for later life too. Chess has been described time and time again as being the ultimate teaching tool, purely because of all the positive effects that it can have on your child and their logic. It also helps them to develop concentration and discipline too. Many board games involve some degree of chance, but this is not the case with chess.

    Do not Over Praise

    It’s so important that you explain to your child that everyone in life has a different talent and that it is not always possible for everyone to get a trophy either. Over-praising can lead to some issues, and this is especially the case when your children realize that they are not as amazing or as brilliant as they thought they once were. Sure, there is power in setting positive yet realistic expectations but that doesn’t mean that you have to praise them for everything.

    Make Learning Fun

    Learning becomes much harder if it is always seen as a chore. A lot of people have mental blocks when it comes to math at school, and that’s why so many people don’t like it. Psychologists have shown time and time again that if you are in a good mood, then this will make you more engaged and it will also make you more open to learning too. You will be able to master any difficult task if you have the right attitude, and the sooner you can teach your child this, the better. Want to support your child even more? Why not see if you can get some high school worksheets?

    Let your Child Follow their Passion

    It is not possible for your child to be good at everything, but if you can, you need to try and get them good at a few things. If your child is showing a very specific interest or if they take a lot of joy in a particular topic, then they will find it easier to really push themselves with it. If your child loves music, then try and push them in this direction rather than trying to steer them academically all the time. If you can do this, then you will soon find that it is much easier for you to give them the support that they need to do well.

    Make Subjects feel Relevant

    It is often hard for a child to focus and enjoy a particular subject because they are not able to see how it has any relevance to their life. They may not be able to see how it is going to help them in the future either. Specific subjects tend to be branded into the head of your child and at times they may wonder if it’s just something that they have to do in order to keep adults happy. If you want to help them here, then you need to make subjects feel relevant to them. You also need to make sure that you do what you can to prove to them that the things that they are learning, are worth it in the long run. If you can do this, then you will soon find that you can make your kids happier when learning and that they are also much more engaged.

    So, there are many things that you can do to try and make sure that your kids are happy and if you follow this guide, you’ll soon find that it is easier than ever for you to give them the support they need to excel academically. Why not see how many tips you could implement for yourself today? It’s never been easier to get on the same wavelength as your child.

  • Happy Halloween

    Happy Halloween

    Halloween, Happy Halloween, Haloween Costumes, Holly Go Lightly, Cowgirl, Clockwork orange

    This is how Halloween Began for my cowgirl and Little Audrey Hepburn a la Holly Go Lightly

    Happy Halloween!  Are you all still enjoying the Halloween candy hangover? My girls are still floating high on that sugar and I’m afraid when they come down they are going to crash and burn. I really don’t understand why the day after Halloween is not made into a national holiday so that kids can stay home from school and sleep in. It’s only right. It’s not cool having Halloween on a weekday, especially one so close to Thursday. Find me a politician who promises to make it a holiday and stay the hell out of my reproduction business and I’m voting for her.

    The last couple of weeks have been a blur. Tomorrow, I can finally exhale. Good thing too, since I’m pretty sure that my back has gone out ( again). That’s what I get for walking around the neighborhood in the dark, cold and rain. But then again, what won’t we do for our kids…and a Heath bar?

    We love Halloween, it’s the one day of the year that ,no matter your age, station or socio-economic rank, everyone can dress up like someone else and pretend in good fun. This Halloween, we attended our first zombie parade which was surreal to say the least. It may not have been the smartest idea considering that our children are 5 and 7. I say this will all certainty because both girls have been in our beds every night since seeing the zombie walk in our downtown Halloween celebration.

    happy halloween, halloween, the Walking Dead,zombies, zombie parade

    Not the Brightest Halloween Idea for kids under 10

    For Halloween, we had decided months ago that the 7-year-old would be Jasmine and the 5-year-old would be Cinderella. It was going to perfect, except than life happened. Being Jasmine for Halloween in the Midwest, is like having the bright idea to wear flip flop to climb Mt.Everest. It’s not gonna happen. So in the past week that Halloween costume got scrapped and my 7-year-old decided that she wanted to go as Holly Go Lightly from Breakfast at Tiffanys. How could I ever deny my child to want to go trick-or-treating as the amazing, Audrey Hepburn? I couldn’t. We made it happen.

    My 5-year-old decided that if her sister was changing outfits than of course she had to too. Halloween  is just not Halloween without at least 3 costume changes. So, Cinderella ended up being a cowgirl ( just like last year. Oh wait, last year she was Jesse from Toy Story but this year she was the world’s MOST adorable cowgirl. I’m serious I have documentation.)

    Why a cowgirl you ask? Because my 5-year-old has a pair of cowboy boots that she is in love with and she built her entire costume around that pair of shoes. A girl after my own heart. Halloween was hectic and crazy, and my kids were wired on sugar and adrenaline, while I happily maneuvered the streets of our new neighborhood meeting all of the neighbors alongside my sister-in-law, while the Big Guy and the Big boys (and grandparents) hung back and made chili, had a campfire and handed out candy to the plethora of children begging for candy all throughout the neighborhood. It was brilliant and will be even more awesome if I don’t die of pneumonia from it.

    We came home, all a little wetter and more exhausted than when we were when we left but there is nothing quite like hearing the laughter of children, while sitting around enjoying chili and conversation with family on Halloween.

    All in all, we had a blast. After a crazy end of the month for mommy, who had the bright idea to organize both girls’ school Halloween parties (don’t try this at home folks, it’s not as easy as it sounds) and then invite the entire family over the night of Halloween and try to mingle with the neighbors, it ended up just perfect. For the first time in 3 years, the girls, the Big Guy and I were in our own house, surrounded by neighbors, family and friends and , in the end, home is where the heart is and my heart is wherever the Big Guy and our girls are at. How was your Halloween?

    What did your kids dress up for on Halloween? Please share all the Halloween costumes on my Facebook page, I’d love to see them.

    Halloween, costumes, family, fun, Happy Halloween

    Happy Halloween 2012

  • What to Do When Your Tween Gets Bullied

    What to Do When Your Tween Gets Bullied

    Now that my daughter is getting older, I have found myself faced with the question of what to do when my tween gets bullied. It’s not like when they were toddlers. My daughters seem to be magnets for bullies. Despite being nice kids who are friendly with almost everyone (according to their teachers), they always seem to be the target of bullies. Now, I know we live in a world where parents like to overuse the term “bullying.” I don’t think I do but when you go single white female on my child and then harass her relentlessly when she just isn’t that into you, I think that constitutes being a bully, bordering on harassment and just a scoatch out of the stalker realm. Any way you slice it, you’re not being nice and I just don’t trust the situation.

    My girls have had a bully almost every other year since preschool. I’ve taught my girls not to take it personally and to ignore these people. This is for my kid than the bully. I don’t want my daughters obsessing over what someone else thinks of them. Honestly, it’s irrelevant. I also don’t want my kid being teased, hurt and harassed because another kid doesn’t like something about them. Can’t we all just get along and move along.

    I live in a reality based world. I don’t expect everyone to like everyone else. Sometimes it’s nothing more than non-compatible personalities. Hey, we’ve all known someone who we just don’t like based on fundamental personality differences and that’s okay. I don’t even want my girls to want or try to be liked by everyone because that just sets them up for a life of people pleasing and, pardon my French but, f*ck that.

    This is how bullying usually goes. My kid starts acting weird. I ask them what’s going on. They don’t want to tell because they don’t want to tattle and they feel embarrassed that someone is picking on them, making fun of them or harassing them. I ask a few more times and finally, they end up breaking down and telling me.

    I tell them to rise above it, ignore it and it’s not about them, it’s the fault of the bully. Bullies have low self-esteem and it manifests by them being mean to others to make themselves feel better. It’s a weak person’s way of leveling the playing field. Instead of rising to the occasion, bullies prefer to pull you down to their level. I also tell my children to tell me and they’ve done nothing wrong. Then, I handle it with the powers that be.

    You see, in a world where kids plant bombs and go on shooting sprees, in a post-Tonya Harding and Nancy Kerrigan world, I don’t believe in a “kids will be kids” do nothing parenting. I in no way fight my children’s battles but I also do not stand by and let my child feel like they are alone in the situation. I have no problem contact the school or wherever and keeping them abreast of the situation. Which brings us to this past weekend.

    For a couple months, my daughter has been telling me that a girl at ballet doesn’t like her. Up until now, it’s been what I’ve perceived as a non-compatible personality situation. Petty things like bringing all the girls in class a piece of candy and purposely excluding just my daughter. Granted, it’s a shitty thing to do but it’s not “bullying” it’s just being a punk kid. I told my kid to ignore it and I bought her a bag of suckers and on the day she took them into ballet, I made sure she had enough for everyone. I thought let’s kill it with kindness. I’ve always taught my girls that you can’t control others reactions but you can control your own actions so put good into the world and if someone doesn’t return it then that is on them, not you. You do good, that’s all that you can do. Well, that didn’t help the situation at all.

    Then, this particular little girl decided to try to befriend my daughter’s core group of friends. One-by-one she starting talking to them and trying to ingratiate herself into their lives by plying them with sweets and trinkets but her fatal flaw, as soon as they would talk to her, she would say something mean about my daughter and reveal herself to be the mean-spirited person she really was. Two of the girls were friendly to her in the way you are friendly to colleagues, which is essentially what they all are but she wanted more.

    Still, she was calling my daughter prissy, annoying and saying that she talks too much. I mean, she is my daughter so she probably does talk a lot and prissy and annoying, well, that’s just that damn personality thing I was referring to. However, then it began to get weirder.  Her tactic of befriending was more of collecting friends to exclude my daughter. It was more about alienating my daughter than having friends.

    These girls are all tweens ages 11 and 12-years-old. My daughter has a group of four “best friends” who talk every day and have sleepovers and genuinely care about one another, more than just like a colleague more like sisters. They are protective of one another but they are a good group of girls. They are not mean. They actually try to be very diplomatic, as much as you can be at that age.

    So, a couple weeks ago, the bully decided that if I can’t steal the friends and exclude Bella (my daughter) they will all suffer my wrath. First, she started calling one of the little girls “fat” to the three other girls. I told my daughter that they should shut it down and tell the bully it wasn’t okay but not tell the girl who she was calling fat because it would only hurt her feeling and make her feel embarrassed. Let’s be honest, as a tween girl, being called fat can have some serious ramifications, especially if you’re a ballerina. 12-years-old is when my eating disorders were first triggered. Then, she told another one of the girls that my daughter was fat, which by the way she is not even close to being. This girl just knows that calling any girl fat, no matter her size especially in their industry, is a trigger.

    She is not saying any of this to the actual girls she is talking about but rather telling one of the other girls in the group. It’s like she enjoys not only talking shit about one girl but torturing the other girls by putting them in this awkward position. All the while, she is trying to befriend each of the other girls, except for my friend. She eventually goes through the entire group calling them all names like fat, can’t dance, blackhearts, prissy, annoying, clumsy, untalented and talks too much. It’s all very superficial but it really hurts these girls’ feelings and in the end, it’s not about whether I think it is serious or not, it’s about how it’s making the girls feel and they feel terrible. It’s about the effect it has on the bullied child. Then the notes began.

    Apparently, the girls sticking together only angered the bully and she decided to attack them in letters. It started two weeks ago. She stuck a note in my daughter’s ballet bag that read, “I don’t like talking to annoying, prissy people. Sorry, not my type.”  And she signed her name. My daughter didn’t even tell me. She crumpled it up and threw it into her bag. I guess my rise above it mantra is sticking.

    Not getting the reaction she wanted from my daughter, she went on to one of her friends and wrote her a creepy single white female letter. Basically saying, your other three friends are shit and they called you shit when you weren’t here. Then she went on to say, let’s have a sleepover and exclude those girls. You need to become best friends with me, etcetera, etcetera. It was a very weird note but that’s the gist of it. Instead of taking the bait, the girl who was given the note shared the note with the other girls at a sleepover they had on Friday.

    Instead of being mean back to her, the girls googled how to write a form letter and then must have ended up on some manager training site because they wrote a letter with the formula “for every bad thing you tell her to say something nice and always use empathy.” They brought me a copy of both letters because, as my husband says, the kids all know that you’re the mom who gets shit taken care of.

    Super long story slightly shorter, I spoke with the principal and the director at the ballet on Saturday morning. They took it very seriously because the 4 girls also brought the original f the note the bully write and their reply for proof. You’d think they were going to court. I was assured by the ballet that it would be handled.

    The girls as a whole at ballet were given a warning about behavior and etiquette and how this sort of petty behavior and bullying would not be tolerated. They were reminded that they are a company and are supposed to be tolerant and supportive of one another. However, the bully has an older sister who is friends with my daughter and her group of friends. She told her mom what her little sister had been up to and the mom handled her daughter, the bully. Did I mention this all happened on a performance day?

    We all went home and thought it was handled. Until Sunday when one of the little girls was cleaning out her ballet bag and found a second note basically threatening my daughter and her group for getting her into trouble. She called them idiots and jerks and said she would get revenge at ballet and to have great lives in hell. Concluding with, I hate you. She wrote this note after she had been reprimanded by the ballet and her mother. So basically in the face of punishment she was angry enough to say to hell with the consequences.

    I am dumbfounded. This has been going on, on and off, since last spring but has been slowly escalating. It’s to the point now, especially after the last note, that I don’t feel terribly comfortable with my child being around this child. I feel it’s getting to Tonya Harding levels of desperation.

    What would you do if your tween gets bullied?

     

  • Set Tour #ABCTVEVENT The Kids are Alright

    Set Tour #ABCTVEVENT The Kids are Alright

    Thank you to Disney and ABC for inviting me to Los Angeles on an all-expense paid trip, in exchange for coverage of Disney’s the Nutcracker and the Four Realms and the #ABCTVEVENT event. I was hosted by Disney for the #DisneysNutcrackerEvent and given a set tour by Caleb Foote of The Kids Are Alright and to meet some of the cast including Michael Cudlitz but all opinions are my own.

    Last month in Los Angeles, I got a sneak peek of ABC’s “The Kids Are Alright.”  I have to admit, that this is one of my favorite new shows this season because it reminds me of growing up in my parents’ house in the 70’s and 80’s. There were 8 of us in a small house. There wasn’t a lot of money but there was a lot of love and faith in God, in each other and in family. There were also a lot of shenanigans.

    Set in the 1970s, the ensemble comedy “The Kids Are Alright” follows a traditional Irish-Catholic family, the Clearys, as they navigate big and small changes during one of America’s most turbulent decades. In a working-class neighborhood outside Los Angeles, Mike and Peggy raise eight boisterous boys who live out their days with little supervision. The household is turned upside down when oldest son Lawrence returns home and announces that he’s quitting the seminary to go off and “save the world.” Times are changing and this family will never be the same. There are 10 people, three bedrooms, one bathroom and everyone in it for themselves. Honestly, on the set visit, I felt like I was back home at my mom’s house.

    The Kids are alright, Caleb Foote, Michael Cudlitz, #ABCTVEVENT, Tim Doyle
    Photo Credit: Coralie Hughes Seright

    The series stars Michael Cudlitz as Mike Cleary, Mary McCormack as Peggy Cleary, Sam Straley as Lawrence Cleary, Caleb Foote as Eddie Cleary, Sawyer Barth as Frank Cleary, Christopher Paul Richards as Joey Cleary, Jack Gore as Timmy Cleary, Andy Walken as William Cleary, and Santino Barnard as Pat Cleary.

    The Kids are alright, Caleb Foote, Michael Cudlitz, #ABCTVEVENT, Tim Doyle

    On the day we visited, we were shown around the set by Caleb Foote, who plays Eddie Cleary. We also had the chance to meet Tim Doyle, creator and executive producer,  whose life the show is about, production designer, Michael Whetstone, set decorator, Claudette Didul, costume designer, Susan Michalek, line producer, Kris Eber  and Michael Cudlitz ( who plays Dad, Mike Cleary) as well as several of the other Cleary family members. It was amazing.

    The Kids are alright, Caleb Foote, Michael Cudlitz, #ABCTVEVENT, Tim Doyle

    The Cleary House

    The attention to detail is crazy. The Kids Are Alright house is based on a house the producers found in Sherman Oaks.

    “Whetstone: This house is based on a house that we found for the pilot back in March and I think it was built in 1932. It was very, very small. It was one of the first ranch houses in Studio City or something. And our director loved it tight. He wanted it to feel crowded. Usually, when you go to stage, you say, “Oh, I’m gonna make it 25% bigger for shooting.” We didn’t really do that.”

    The Kids are alright, Caleb Foote, Michael Cudlitz, #ABCTVEVENT, Tim Doyle
    Photo Credit: Coralie Hughes Seright

     

    “Foote: In most cases, they would expand the set in the recreation of the studio. But, having the tight-knit family is a big part of our show.”

     

    The thing I really loved about the house is that you really got the feel of what it’s like to live during those times in a small house with a big family. As I mentioned before, this is exactly how I grew up with the exception of us being in Chicago, 3 boys and 3 girls and being Latino Catholic versus Irish and the story is pretty much my childhood. I can tell you from experience, a claustrophobic home filled with children and love may feel like a noose on your neck at sometimes but mostly, it feels like a hug from a mom and it’s something that will stay with you for the rest of your life.

    The dining room is the heart of the Cleary house; it’s where meals are served, where the important conversations take place and where Peggy and Mike dole out nourishment and wisdom to their 8 boys. The thing I loved about it the most was that it is so small and so full of things that the family can barely all fit in it at once. In fact, if you pay attention, you will notice that each episode, a different son sits at a tiny side table.

    You might also notice that most of the decor looks like it’s from the 1950s and 1960s since the family is on a tight budget with all those boys. This is keeping it real.

     

    The Yard

    The Kids are alright, Caleb Foote, Michael Cudlitz, #ABCTVEVENT, Tim Doyle

    One thing that I absolutely loved is that they created an actual outdoor yard to film in. They did have the soundstage yard but that infamous treehouse and who could forget that brotherly love fight scene sandbox, that is all outside and it is magical. From the clothes on the line to the car in the driveway, you felt like you were transported back to the 1970’s.

    The Kids are alright, Caleb Foote, Michael Cudlitz, #ABCTVEVENT, Tim Doyle

     

    We met the show’s creator Tim Doyle. The Kids Are Alright is based on Doyle’s childhood and he narrates each episode. This is his childhood and he reminisced with us about how different growing up in the 70’s was versus growing up now.

    “Doyle: It’s a funny thing. It’s amazing that we all survived that period but some of us didn’t. But all the ones that are here are like, “Oh, yeah, it’s okay. You don’t have to have parental supervision. Let kids run around like feral animals. Let them do whatever they want.” That’s the people who survived talking. There are the other ones and a lot of bad stuff happened but we’re not telling those stories. We’re glossing over those.

    We’re not saying don’t be good parents. We’re saying be good to your kids and supervise them. But there was a different way… We’re giving a taste of, as accurately as we can, what we remember it being like.”

    The 70’s

    The Kids are alright, Caleb Foote, Michael Cudlitz, #ABCTVEVENT, Tim Doyle

    The vintage clothes, the vernacular and even the television shows and magazines lying around the house…The Kids Are alright producers did not miss a beat in capturing the 1970’s era.

    We got to see wardrobe with costume designer Susan Michalek. The collection of clothes needed for a show with 10 principal actors is huge.

    “Michalek: We need so much that what we really get from is all the rental houses in L.A (Los Angeles). ABC has a costume house, Warner Brothers has a costume house, and then there are some private ones too. There are about eight or ten in L.A. Their buildings are the size of football fields and really high with racks of clothing where we go get most of it.”

    The Kids Are Alright is all about conjuring up the nostalgia one feels when going home. None of this happened by accident. Extensive research was done to insure that the Cleary home was filled with just the right furniture, knick–knacks and even the wall hangings.

    “Didol: We actually lucked out with a couple of estate sales. We literally took this whole drapery rig right out of the house as is, and it is so fragile that I couldn’t get it dry cleaned and we’re going to just see how long it lasts… But we really do try to do our due diligence, finding things that were from the right period.”

    The Kids are alright, Caleb Foote, Michael Cudlitz, #ABCTVEVENT, Tim DoyleOn tonight’s episode, Peggy sees an opportunity to put Eddie’s Girlfriend through a test before letting her into the Cleary family circle on an all-new episode of ABC’s ‘The Kids Are Alright, Tuesday, November 13.

    Peggy’s Day Out-To hide a mess Eddie made, his girlfriend, Wendi, tries to distract Peggy by insisting she take a day off with a fun day out while they take care of the housework. To everyone’s surprise, Peggy accepts the offer and requests Wendi tag along, with the ulterior motive of teaching her a lesson. Meanwhile, Eddie enlists the help of his brothers to clean up and keep Mike out of the house while Wendi and Peggy are out. Elsewhere, Pat introduces Timmy to his secret dog on “The Kids Are Alright,” TUESDAY, NOV. 13 (8:31-9:00 p.m. EST), on The ABC Television Network, streaming and on demand.

    Follow along on social:

    Facebook: @TheKidsAreAlrightABC
    Twitter: @TheKidsABC 
    Instagram: @thekidsarealrightabc

    Hashtag: #TheKidsAreAlright

    Make sure to watch The Kids are Alright on ABC. It came out on October 16, 2018 and airs Tuesdays at 8:30|7:30c on ABC; also available streaming and on demand.

  • Lea Clark, American Girl of the Year 2016 Giveaway

    Lea Clark, American Girl of the Year 2016 Giveaway

    It’s been a difficult past 7 days. The kind of epic bad days those tear jerker country songs are made of. Last Thursday, my youngest daughter’s pet Guinea Pig got pneumonia, I took him to the vet, got him meds and we held him all day long nursing him back to health and then he just died. I was mad. I wanted a refund. I did all the things I was supposed to do and yet, still, I had to break my kids’ hearts.

    We had to tell the girls when they came home from school and they both had massive breakdowns, one of which was outside on the front porch, screaming and wailing. Of course, this in turn broke our parent hearts and we all sat sobbing for most of Friday evening.

    Lea Clark, American Girl, Girl of the Year 2016, Giveaway

    Saturday, we had a funeral for said Guinea Pig. Sunday, I was awoken at 10:30 by my daughter who insisted we go to 11 a.m. mass. Did I mention that I hadn’t slept since Wednesday night when the guinea pig first presented with the sniffles? So to mass I went, after spending all of 5 minutes getting ready. Did I mention I am on the board at our school, which is at our church? Oh yeah, did I mention I know everyone there and I looked CRAZY.

    Monday, my husband gave me the news about the death of David Bowie. Then on the way to finally get my stitches out from my second surgery to this never ending broken leg saga, just when not walking like a pirate was in my line of sight, my car decided that it doesn’t like the cold. In fact, it hates the bitter cold we are experiencing so badly that a censor automatically turns traction control off which in turn reduces the engine power basically leaving you stranded in traffic moving at the pace of a slow turtle. We’ve had snow days, delays and elearning ( shoot.me.now) and it’s only Wednesday.

    ***Update: Thursday, my daughters’ school was locked down due to a crazed man and a hostage situation in the neighborhood addition behind the school! Bonus, the school didn’t even inform the parents until pick up. I’m assuming it was to avoid mama bears like myself from scaling the building to get to their locked down children. This is no joke a terrible week.

    The car can’t be seen until Friday. Oh and the dog also has to be seen Friday by the vet because apparently the stress and bitter cold have also made her start losing her hair on her flanks. Great alopecia one more thing to worry about. On a week when we have a thousand places to be, the snow, ice and bitter cold does not want us to do any of it.

    Any ways, now that you know how horrible my last 7 days have been I will tell you that I need a little joy in my life. They say be the change you want to see in the world so I am turning this frown upside down, pulling on my big girl panties and faking it until I make it and all that. I’m holding fast to the little victories, like I had my first shower in 4 months standing on my own 2 feet without using the bench for the elderly that I have been dependent upon since September.

    To start the happy train rolling, I am giving away one 2016 Girl of the Year doll, Lea Clark!

    I refuse to let this chaos keep me down so I spread a little happiness by giving a Lea Clark doll to my daughters and through the generosity of American Girl; I am also giving one away to a lucky reader.

    I love that American Girl’s 2016 Girl of the Year, Lea Clark, dives into adventure and helps girls see life through a new lens and is in collaboration with the world wildlife fund to help protect animals and their habitats. Grace was perfect for my eldest daughter because she is a little chef and loves all things Parisian but Lea is my youngest all the way. She even looks like my little girl.There is so much to identify with and my little girl adores Lea. I think yours will too.

    Lea Clark a talented photographer with a love for animals, discovers a wide world of possibilities when she embarks on a faraway adventure to Brazil.   Available for only one year, Lea’s collection includes a beautiful 18-inch Lea doll featuring long wavy hair and warm hazel eyes, plus several tropical-inspired outfits, accessories, and toys that reflect her Brazilian travels—including Lea’s Rainforest House with over 30 pieces! Coming this summer, an all-new, action-adventure film will debut on DVD from Universal Studios Home Entertainment .

    Written by award-winning author Lisa Yee, the 2016 Girl of the Year books—Lea Dives In, Lea Leads the Way, and Lea and Camila—introduce girls to a curious ten-year-old girl with an adventurous spirit. On a family trip to Brazil to visit her older brother, Zac, who is studying the Amazon rainforest, Lea is excited to capture everything she sees with her camera. Soon Lea   makes some incredible discoveries, but she also faces unexpected challenges, including a fear of the ocean, tension with Zac, and finding a baby sloth that has been gravely injured. With the help of her family, her new Brazilian friend, Camila, and her late grandmother’s guiding inspiration, Lea finds the inner strength and confidence to live her new adventures to the fullest.

    Giving Back with Lea Clark

    To show girls that, together, they can make a difference in helping protect animals and their habitats, American Girl has created Wild at Art, a year-long fund-raising campaign in support of World Wildlife Fund (WWF). Starting January 1, American Girl is encouraging girls to use their artistic abilities to host an art sale and donate the proceeds to WWF. To launch the campaign, American Girl has made a $50,000 donation to WWF and also invites customers to contribute at American Girl retail stores and americangirl.com. Parents can visit americangirl.com/wildatart to learn more and register for Wild at Art, plus get animal-themed craft ideas, and be entered into a sweepstakes for the chance to win one of 17 Lea prize packages.

    In addition, from January 1 through December 31, 2016, for every purchase of one of the three plush animals in Lea’s collection—the margay, sea turtle, or sloth—American Girl will donate $1 (up to a maximum of $100,000) to WWF.

    Just leave a comment below telling me who your favorite American Girl doll is and why. One lucky reader will randomly be selected to win a Lea Clark doll.

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  • What Happens when Your Mind and Body are Out of Sync?

    What Happens when Your Mind and Body are Out of Sync?

    Sometimes as a busy wife and mom, my life can get pretty hectic. Probably a lot like yours. It’s not easy when you have to be 100 places at the same time and you have little people depending on you for survival. That’s a lot of pressure, in and of itself, add to that work, errands, husband time and the fact that I am not as young as I once was and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed pretty quickly. That’s why I trust sites like anipots.com to provide me with the right knowledge regarding health supplements and remedies.

    The thing is that this happens quite frequently and when it does, I don’t feel like myself. Does that happen to you? I’ve noticed that whenever my life gets busy and I’m experiencing a lot of emotional stress, there are always accompanying physical ramifications. For example, when you’re stressing out over why the baby isn’t sleeping through the night and the next thing you know you get a monster pimple between your eyes or you remember in the middle of the night that you have to bake 50 cupcakes for the PTO bake sale and then you fall victim to a migraine.

    I’ve had an extremely stressful few months recently. I broke my leg last fall which created a host of other issues, as you can imagine mostly because when you are confined to one place and can’t bear weight, you start to feel like a ghost in your own life. You can’t imagine the emotional stress that feeling irrelevant can put on someone. Makes you appreciate what it must feel like to be elderly.

    Then this spring I started having gallbladder attacks which led to a surgery to remove a diseased gallbladder. If you’ve never had a gallbladder attack, I don’t recommend them. They feel like an induced labor with no epidural. This caused more emotional stress that manifested itself by physically wiping me out. On top of all of this, I’m pretty sure that I’ve entered perimenopause land. They say it can start anywhere from your thirties through your forties (or even earlier for some) and can last anywhere from 10 months to 10 years, so that makes it a definite possibility.

    I haven’t noticed any major symptoms like hot flashes, irregular periods or lower sex drive but others like urine leakage (hello, giving birth to two babies with huge heads), fatigue (a mom’s work is never done), mood swings and trouble sleeping (well, I’m a mom and a diagnosed insomniac so this has been part of my reality since having kids) but other than that I feel like I’m 25-years-old. Well, except for the occasional vaginal dryness but I blame that on the stress. Not to be too graphic but sometimes it’s like a slip and slide down there and sometimes it’s like the Sahara. I adjust. I’m not giving up my sex life because my vagina is being bipolar. Hey, 2 pregnancies, a broken leg and wonky gallbladder didn’t stop me. I’m not about to let aging win the war. I’m not dead yet.

    The thing is life slows down for no woman so we have to make time to take care of ourselves. Sometimes that means getting some extra sleep, sometimes that means taking vitamins and exercising, sometimes that means sneaking away to pee in silence and sometimes that means giving yourself a little help in the lubricant area. Hey, my mama always told me, “God helps those who help themselves.” I have no shame in helping myself to the sex life I want. If that means picking up some Vagisil ProHydrate then I will. Vagisil ProHydrate Natural Feel helps make my love life feel natural again without the dryness that comes with perimenopause.

     

    Unfortunately, it quite literally, took me falling and breaking my leg and being completely bed ridden for 4 months to learn that lesson. So when your body is telling you to slow down or take care of it, do it. You only have one body and one life. Enjoy!

    What do you do to relieve stress that’s just for you and nobody else?

    Comment below to win a $100 Gift Card!

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    This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older (or nineteen (19) years of age or older in Alabama and Nebraska). Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. The notification email will come directly from BlogHer via the sweeps@blogher email address. You will have 2 business days to respond; otherwise a new winner will be selected.

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  • This Blogger’s Life…Jessica Gottlieb

    This Blogger’s Life…Jessica Gottlieb

     

    This week’s guest on This Blogger’s Life is my good friend, fellow blogger and mentor, Jessica GottliebI have known Jessica for a few years now. I believe our friendship was sealed over a conversation on Twitter about drinking good wine, in bed, or something like that and we have been friends since. The more I’ve gotten to know her, the more I admire her keen sense of business acumen, her sense of humor and her determination to always put her family first. It’s hard to find a balance doing what we do but she does it and that’s something I’m still working at.
    Anyone who knows Jessica knows that she is a straight shooter, loves her family and likes fast cars and pretty things. I love her because she has a giant heart, can use the word f*ck in casual conversation and still sound like a complete lady and always says what’s on her mind, especially if it’s a cause she believes in. I am honored to have her as my friend and here today. So, without further ado…

    This Blogger’s Life… Jessica Gottlieb

    This Blogger's Life, Jessica Gottlieb, bloggers, blogging,

    Why did you start blogging?

    I started blogging a number of years ago when my friend was dying of AIDS. I was raising my kids during the day and then spending my nights by his side at the hospital. I found that my friends would ask me how I was doing and then I’d burst into tears and start giving them the details of Steven’s demise. I needed an outlet and blogging became a good one for me. https://angrymom.blogspot.com Without that site I’d have lost many friends.

     
    What’s one piece of advice that you would give to a new blogger?

    Write honestly. If you don’t have a passion there’s no reason for your readers to care.

     
    What are the three words that describe you best?

    I’d be scared to think about that.

     
    What is your favorite website?

    Just one? Everyone loves Suri’s Burn Book right? No one’s supposed to admit to reading GOMI but I have to admit that it tickles me. Also I really enjoy suburbanmatron.blogspot.com

     
    What is your favorite thing to do when you’re not blogging?

    If you can get my husband my kids and me all in the same room I don’t really care what we’re doing. I am happiest when the four of us are together. As for alone time? I like to be in motion. I love tennis, yoga and hiking.

     
    What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about yourself  from blogging?

    I learned that I can be respectful of people who I disagree with. Blogging reveals a lot about people that you might not otherwise learn and I’ve found that I can enjoy parts of people and they can occupy parts of my life without needing to agree with them.

     
    How do you balance life and blogging?

    I have a social media schedule. I am willing to spend up to three hours a day working on these things and no more. When the time is done, my work is done. No one wants to read about a blogger who sits in front of the computer all day. You have to get out and live. Most days it’s less than an hour but three is my absolute limit.

     
    What do you think makes a successful blog? A great blog? Are they one in the same?

    I don’t know what a successful blog is. Is success a large audience? Maybe financial security? Perhaps success means a book deal? Blogs are like the new MLM and the moment someone tells me they have one I sort of cringe because I’m not sure I want to read it. I’m not sure anyone wants to. Hell, most of the time when people ask me what I do for a living I tell them I’m a housewife. There’s something so inherently narcissistic about blogging that I’m both drawn to it and repelled by it. I can’t define success. I can’t define greatness. I’m not sure anyone can.

     
    If you were to stop blogging today, what would you do with the rest of your life?

    They same thing I do now. I’d just have to budget better.

     
    How do you balance telling your story, without telling the story of others in your life? 

    This is where the work comes in. It’s difficult (and worth making the effort) to tell only my story. It’s entirely possible to talk about motherhood without talking about your kids. I’ve had a few slips and annoyed some folks along the way but for the most part no one knows much about my kids, my husband or my extended family. When my kids go to get their first jobs you will not be able to google their names. That’s the balancing act.

     
    Blogging has changed a lot, just since I started 5 years ago, what do you miss about blogging in the early days? What do you love that has changed?

    I don’t know that I feel particularly wistful for anything. Change is good. I love that short content can live on other networks. I just don’t enjoy slideshows, I’d say that’s the only big bummer in blogging right now.

     
    How do you consistently come up with relevant and shareable content?

    I don’t. An awful lot of my content gets ignored.

     
    If you could have a dinner party for 6 people, living or dead, who would you invite?

    My family of four and Sasha and Malia Obama. I want the scoop from those two.

    Thank you Jess for being my guest today and always being such a huge supporter of other women & bloggers, and on a more personal level, thanks for always being such an awesome friend and mentor to me. Your writing always makes me think and your fierce attitude has taught me that strong women can do what ever they set their minds to. XOXO

    If Jessica  rocks your socks as much as she does mine, check her out at JessicaGottlieb.com and at Word of Mouth Women. but if you really want to have someone interesting to follow and engage with, Jessica Gottlieb is that person on Facebook and , of course, Twitter, where it all began.

     

     

     

  • How To Continue Education During The Coronavirus Pandemic

    By now, we are all painfully aware that Coronavirus is serious. President Trump has stopped visitors from the EU, and other countries around the world, from entering the US. Ladies and gentlemen, we’re officially amid a Coronavirus pandemic. The WHO classes a pandemic as “the occurrence in a community or region of cases of an illness… clearly in excess of normal expectancy.” Life is definitely not normal at the moment, it feels like we’re living in a sci-fi horror film, so the World Health Organization must be right. Aside from every other fear on our minds, the nagging thing we have to consider is how To Continue Education During The Coronavirus Pandemic?

    READ ALSO: Parents who Send Sick Kids to School are the Worst

    But, most families’ routine isn’t going to stop in its tracks because you can’t afford it to. Education is a prime example as many Americans will still need to go to work and some kids still need to get to school or a daycare center, though many of our children’s schools have been suspended indefinitely. These are uncertain and unpredictable times. How can you still get your kid an education during an outbreak of one of the worst health crises in the past decade?

    Homeschool

    As a mom, you always have the right to homeschool your kids. It’s not as simple as pulling them out and starting the curriculum halfway through as you have a life, too. However, if you’re worried about the state of the education system right now, it’s not unfeasible.

    Speak to The School

    Parents have the final say; however, your children’s daycare or school isn’t off the hook. If the virus starts to get in the way of education, the teachers and principal should craft a plan to limit the damage. For example, they might upload the classes onto an online program that allows the students to complete the work at home. 

    Study Via E-Learning Technology

    Let’s not forget that the children aren’t the only ones studying in the US. Plenty of adults are trying to better themselves also. As a grown-up, you have the flexibility to decide against attending class, where kids don’t. I’m actually going back to school myself in April and it will be online. As far as the kids go, I was keeping them home Monday no matter what (I’m the parent and their health and safety is my top priority).

    READ ALSO: Working with Preschoolers

    Luckily, the girls have the luxury of using E-learning at their schools, not every child does. Even so, it’s essential to study hard to stay on track for good grades and to ensure their hard work doesn’t go to waste. Thankfully, currently, the world is more technologically savvy regarding e-learning, so it should be as easy as logging-on and completing studies from home.

    Practice Good Hygiene

    In a health scare such as this one, it’s vital that everybody practices quality hygiene. It’s up to the parents to help their kids maintain a high standard as they’ll happily drop the ball. Believe me, if working with preschoolers has taught me anything this year, it’s been the power of germs and the lack of childhood hygiene. As adults, it’s our responsibility to help them. That means packing extra tissues for coughs and sneezes and leaning on hand gel and antibacterial gel. Try not to touch your face, either, and get the kids to follow your lead. If you are having a hard time explaining this to them, you may want to grab a Kids Hygiene Book so that you can show and educate them easily the importance of practicing good hygiene. Hopefully, these tips will keep the whole country safe.

    How is your family life-changing during the Coronavirus pandemic?

     

  • What to do when Your Child is Depressed

    What to do when Your Child is Depressed

    depressed, childhood depression, depressed kid

    Could Your Child be Depressed?

    Can young children be depressed? I’ve come to realize something very important, 2nd grade is a turning point in a child’s life. This is where, as the Big Guy says, the rubber meets the road. Education gets real serious, real fast. Last year was playtime, this year is planners and hours of homework and violin and pre-ballet has now turned to ballet and there is no more time for childish games. Suddenly, everyone is serious.

    This is the year that our children really begin to take it all in. It’s the year that grades are beginning to count, teachers expectations are raised and the age of reason. Obliviousness and the carefree, reckless abandonment of being a preschooler has to be shelved and children are forced to grow up in many ways. I’ve noticed this for my daughter and I’m not sure I like it, at all. (more…)