Never Compare Yourself to Another Mother
I am absolutely giddy that today one of my favorite Mamas in the blogisphere is gracing the page at The TRUTH about Motherhood in celebration of my 2nd Blogiversary. Peryl Manning, better known from her highly popular blog Parenting Ad Absurdum .
“An irreverent, humorous and honest look at what it is truly like to parent small children, the highs and lows, the thrilling parts and the not-so-thrilling-at-all parts.”
Peryl is the awesome Mommy to two spirited young boys. On any day you can read about a variety of topics ranging from little vampires ordering blood off the Starbucks menu to the correct protocol on how to name a Canadian baby. No matter the topic, Peryl will deliver it to you with grace and poise. She’s the lady who has the magic touch and can make any pill easier to swallow.Do yourself a favor, check her out. Peryl can also be found on Twitter. Thank You so much for sharing your sage advice with us, Peryl! XOXO
So, my advice to other mothers, if you were to ask for it, which you probably didn’t (first off, really, my advice would be never give other mothers advice, because most of the time, you’re just going to tee them off – but I’m incapable of following this rule myself – I’m a writer, which means I find it impossible to keep my opinions to myself)….But anyway, if you happened to ask for my advice, it would be this: Never, but never compare yourself to another mother. If you compare yourself negatively, you’ll get depressed, and if you compare yourself favorably, it will only come back to bite you in the behind.
For me I learned this when I had my second boy. All of the euphemisms that I had privately used to describe other people’s children like “spirited” and “willful” and “pain-in-the-ass” came home to roost in my chicken coop. I now had the toddler who climbed the shelves in Safeway, who had a tantrum in Target when denied pop rocks, and who now, as a three-year old, is sassiness personified. And I am usually six feet behind him. alternately losing my cool and pretending I don’t know him.
And when I get the dirty looks from other shoppers as he slides under their cart, or knocks down a pyramid of wine bottles, I remember my own inner judgy-judgerson, and smack her upside the head. Because no matter what you see on the outside, every mother has a full, well-rounded story as interesting and complex as your own. If she appears to be losing her mind – she probably has good reason. And if she appears to be perfection personified, she’s probably so tired she just tried to to put the milk away in the dishwasher. So give her, and at the same time yourself, a little latitude, and a big, big break.