Remember , a long time ago, in a land far, far away where you could come and go as you pleased? You could take a bath/shower/change a tampon in uninterrupted peace. Eat a warm meal. Drink a glass of water sans back wash? Dream when you slept, better yet, have restful and rejuvenating sleep? Blare the radio as loud as you wanted. None of your clothes had spit up/pee/poop or baby sized food encrusted lip prints? Wow! It’s been so long for me, that I can barely even remember life before kids (B.K.)
It’s become so much the norm that I feel odd when I do actually have any alone time. On the rare occasion when I get to go out in public alone, I find myself saying things like “excuse us” or “we would like”.I always speak in the plural. I get the strangest looks. I am assuming that it can only be because I am alone ( still wearing yoga pants, a ponytail, and no make up) speaking in the plural, and probably looking like I’ve escaped from the insane asylum/prison, which in a way, I have. I often wonder how may people I have had these encounters with , not knowing the context in which I am speaking, suspect I may have more than a few Sybil like tendencies.
I don’t know when it happened, but somewhere along the way I have evolved from being a fearless, reckless, throw caution to the wind, go for broke kinda gal to a slow down, look both ways, your face is going to freeze that way, you’re going to poke your eyes out, OMG what if the plane crashes and my kids are left parent-less kind of Mommy. Believe me, this was not a conscious choice. I didn’t wake up one day and say to myself, “Hey, Debi..from today on, you will drive like a granny and beat the crap out of ANY person who ever threatens your child’s life by wrecking into you.” Seriously, that has become the constant rerunning thought in my brain when driving “If someone wrecks into me and hurts my children,so help me God,I’m going to jump out of my car and beat their ass!” Before kids, I am not afraid to admit I was a bit of a speed demon and have garnered more than my fair share of speeding tickets.I did a lot of driving in my 20’s and had people to see and places to go.Those were the days. Of course, I guess in that way, my kids have saved my life. I’ve not had 1 speeding ticket since becoming pregnant with my first, ( says the girl who once got 3 tickets in one over night drive).That was Mommy B.K.
What am I trying to say? I am saying that once in awhile I miss being able to have the freedom to be just “me”. To not have to check every single decision I make in life in triplicate is a admittedly very missed perk of my previous life that I do sometimes wish I had access to on occasion. But what have I gained in these small sacrifices? I have earned copious amounts of love and a fulfillment in my life that can only be described as priceless. Of course, I would still like to be able to change a tampon in private, that my friends may be the thing I miss the most. I suppose I should stop complaining and know that one day, in the not to distant future, I will be driving like a bat out of hell again, racking up speeding tickets, jet setting to foreign soils, and describing my life in terms of Mommy E.N. (Empty Nest). For now, I will enjoy the every pulchritudinous morsel of Mommy W.K. (With Kids).
How has your life changed since having your kids? What do you miss the most? Happy Mothering!
Today, I have the great pleasure of having my first ever article published at Momversation. Please stop by and leave some love! If you’ve loved my Mommy Truisms, you will love Best Lies I Ever told My Daughters.