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Birth~ The only thing anyone ever tells you about birth is “It’s such a blessing” (which it is) and you forget about the pain of childbirth as soon as you hold your beautiful newborn baby in your arms , which I hate to be the bearer of bad news, is a complete (Did I mention complete) and absolute, bold faced lie. Unless an anvil fell on your head immediately after giving birth, while holding your newborn baby and by some miracle missed your child, knocked you unconscious leaving you with amnesia…you will never forget the pain of childbirth.
It is an indescribable, unforgettable, and unbearable pain…who could forget that, so why don’t we warn our sisters, friends, and other beloved women in our lives? I’ll tell you why, it wouldn’t change a thing. The pain would still be ‘that’ pain, and all it would do is make our girlfriends stress out and hurt that much more because of the anxiety. Honestly, if you dare to be different and actually go against the code and tell some poor unsuspecting soul the truth, well, they won’t believe you anyways.
I recounted to my best friend that while waiting for the anesthesiologist, I implored my husband to find the damn doctor with the needle and if he didn’t then I was going to jump out of the third story, large picture window that was in my hospital room. He knew I was serious. My friend thought I was kidding, speaking metaphorically to demonstrate the point, but I was serious. Dead serious! To her detriment, it was not until she was in the throes of her own delightful birth did she recollect my words and realize damn, she was telling the truth!!! The scary, horrible, painful truth.
On several occasions, I had asked my sister-in-law (who had 4 children at the time, with no epidural) about the pain of childbirth and I never got a straight answer. Just the typical, you’ll forget about the pain once you hold your baby in your arms and look down into those beautiful eyes. Only after, I survived my own lovely ordeal of childbirth did I realize why she had withheld the truth. I called her and demanded “ Why didn’t you warn me?” Her answer to me was this, “ It wouldn’t have changed anything and it would have freaked you out. Once you’re pregnant, it’s too late to change your mind because of a little pain (Little?) Besides, you never would have believed me!!!” And you know, we were on the phone (states apart) but I swear I heard laughter in her voice. You know that very distinct I just pulled a joke on somebody laugh. I’m telling you, this Motherhood club, it really does enjoy watching its provisional’s squirm. I was certainly punked. But she was/is right; I would have thought she was crazy, a wimp, a liar, perhaps all of the above but I never would have believed and certainly could not have comprehended what giving birth felt like in all it’s glory.