Hangry is when a person who is hungry becomes unreasonably angry. I call it my Joe Pecsi side. I can be the kindest person you’ll ever meet but when my blood sugar gets low, I get the shakes, I feel faint and I go from sweetie to full on bitch in a matter of seconds; like a rabid dog. I am short and my words are biting, no one is safe. As I get the cold sweats and perspiration beads upon my upper lip, all I can think, is Dear God, please let me get some carbs in me before I fall flat on my face or kill someone.
Hey, you, you walking at snail speed through the grocery store on Tuesday morning. I don’t care if you are 85-years-old (carrying a newborn in a carrier or have three broken legs), I’ve not eaten in 14 hours and if you don’t move your brittle boned (exhausted, non-sleep having, hoveraound driving) ass, I am going to start chewing on your elbow. Think Linda Blair in The Exorcist.
Enter doughnut. Enter compassion and patience and love. Hug a tree. Kiss a baby. Wipe an old person’s nose. Carry a spider outside. Smile at a stranger.
Excuse me, ma’am, can I get that for you. Here, I will help you. I love the elderly ( new moms, disabled). ** I am seriously not myself when I am hungry. I go from Mrs. Hyde to Dr. Hangry in a matter of minutes. It’s scary. Luckily, the cure is a piece of food. God, I must have been miserable to be around when I was anorexic. (That was a joke and I can make that one because I lived to tell about it.)
Well, a new study validates me. Low blood sugar makes couples more aggressive. 107 couples were asked to measure their blood sugar levels every morning and night for 21 days. Each night they were asked to stick up to 51 pins in a voodoo doll, depending on how angry they were at their spouse. The researchers compared this aggression level to the participants’ average glucose levels over the study period.
The results proved that study participants with lower nightly blood sugar levels were more aggressive and pinned the voodoo doll substantially more. These findings remained true even after researchers controlled the data for relationship satisfaction. See hangry is real and it’s dangerous.
Luckily for me, the Big Guy, never lets himself starve. He is the glue that keeps this marriage together because God knows when I go all Pesci, I get on my own damn nerves.
Everyone gets upset at their spouse on occasion, that’s normal. People have bad days and some times you just need your damn space or the kids are being assholes or your husband refuses to pick up his socks for 5 years but self-control and maturity prevents you from going all ape shit bananas on them and attacking. Hopefully, if your husband says something stupid your first instinct isn’t to bash his brains in with a bat. But self-control is a limited resource (don’t I know it?) and each time you use it, you have a little less. When self-control stops, aggression starts. You replenish your self-control with energy, from food. So when you are starving and you’ve already used up your daily allowance of self-control, hangry enters like a Tasmanian devil and wreaks havoc on everyone in it’s path. You wouldn’t like me when I am hungry. It’s ugly.
So next time you are thinking of juicing or starving yourself before a reunion or for bikini season, ask yourself this, are you feeling lucky? Because while nothing tastes as good as thin feels, nothing is worth dealing with a hangry person acting all Joe Pesci. Give that hangry person a piece of cake and tell them you prefer them just the way they are.
You’ve heard the song, If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, better make an ugly woman your wife? Well, it’s because it’s better to feed your beloved and have her be a little less attractive than to starve her into waif thin model shape and have her take an ice pick to you over a piece of toast. The moral of the story is never discuss politics, religion, finances or those 10 extra pounds you want to lose or his sock on the floor issue on an empty stomach or someone might get hurt.