For Richer and for Poorer ~ Til Death do us part. Marriage is a beautiful thing indeed. I spent the past weekend at the wedding of my brother-in-law and my gorgeous new sister-in-law. It was one of the most lovely weddings that I’ve ever had the joy of witnessing. I sat there listening to the vows and I got a little choked up, remembering my own. I was transported back to a day, much like this one, when the Big Guy and I stood at the alter in front of everyone we knew and declared our love for one another. That moment..that is the moment it becomes real. That is the moment that your life is joined to his and two become one. What’s his is yours and what’s yours is his and all of it is ours.
It was a beautiful weekend soaked in love and drenched in emotion. I think everyone who was there could genuinely feel the love between those two. It was in fact palpable. It filled the space of the venue and it was contagious. We all were basking in the glow of the love light that those two were emitting. I honestly wish them the best of everything that life has to offer. They deserve it and so much more. I hate the reality hangover of marriage after the night of fantasy at the wedding. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. I hope they can ease into it, float to it from above and descend on reality like a butterfly onto your shoulder…slowly, gracefully and with ease.
The Big Guy and I have long since crashed into marriage reality. We hit it like a parachutist hitting the ocean…like hitting cement and expecting a soft place to land. I found this to be the truest fact about my marriage, life is beautiful and awesome together. Having someone to love so completely and unconditionally is a gift that is unexplainable. It is having a soft place to land, even if it is on your spouse.The key to marriage is to remember what is important. The most important thing, for us, is that unconditional, unwavering, unfailing love and devotion to one another in good times and bad,
The problem is, the only thing that we have discovered that can cause a crack in the foundation of an otherwise strong marriage (faster than anything else), is the poorer part. Not because anybody’s a gold digger, or somebody has a crazed need to wear only top brands, drink top shelf and live topside all the time. No, I’m talking about those times when you are starting out and you have no money. You are finishing up college and you are broke. You have to unexpectedly move because of a job change. You unexpectedly lose a job because of a down economy. You have children and had no idea what those little people cost. Cars tear up. People die. Roofs leak. Tuition needs to be paid. Kids want extra-curriculars. Sometimes you just really want that extra slice of life; those nice jeans, a fancy bra, a vacation that isn’t to a relatives house. Life happens.
Finances cause arguments in couples. It’ a fact. If you don’t already know this, then you are not in a committed (joined financially) relationship. There is an easing into it that must take place. But if you can always remember that if you have the love, you are already richer than most in life. You will be better than fine. You will thrive.
Life together is amazing, much better than life apart could ever be. This I know to be true. So who cares about money? Sure, it buys food and clothes and shelter, but where there is love..real love, the kind that can literally keep you warm at night, keep your heart full and your mind still… everything else is secondary. For richer in love and poorer in funds is better than the alternative. But if you want to ensure constant bliss, put a little rainy day fund away…just in case of an unexpected leaky roof.
To Kate and Jeff, God Bless you both and may your roof never leak. We love yous…for richer and for poorer ! XO