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For Richer and For Poorer

For Richer and for Poorer

by Deborah Cruz

For Richer and For Poorer

For Richer and for Poorer

For Richer and for Poorer ~ Til Death do us part. Marriage is a beautiful thing indeed. I spent the past weekend at the wedding of my brother-in-law and my gorgeous new sister-in-law. It was one of the most lovely weddings that I’ve ever had the joy of witnessing. I sat there listening to the vows and I got a little choked up, remembering my own. I was transported back to a day, much like this one, when the Big Guy and I stood at the alter in front of everyone we knew and declared our love for one another. That moment..that is the moment it becomes real. That is the moment that your life is joined to his and two become one. What’s his is yours and what’s yours is his and all of it is ours.

It was a beautiful weekend soaked in love and drenched in emotion. I think everyone who was there could genuinely feel the love between those two. It was in fact palpable. It filled the space of the venue and it was contagious. We all were basking in the glow of the love light that those two were emitting. I honestly wish them the best of everything that life has to offer. They deserve it and so much more. I hate the reality hangover of marriage after the night of fantasy at the wedding. It’s a bitter pill to swallow. I hope they can ease into it, float to it from above and descend on reality like a butterfly onto your shoulder…slowly, gracefully and with ease.

The Big Guy and I have long since crashed into marriage reality. We hit it like a parachutist hitting the ocean…like hitting cement and expecting a soft place to land. I found this to be the truest fact about my marriage, life is beautiful and awesome together. Having someone to love so completely and unconditionally is a gift that is unexplainable. It is having a soft place to land, even if it is on your spouse.The key to marriage is to remember what is important. The most important thing, for us, is that unconditional, unwavering, unfailing love and devotion to one another in good times and bad,

for Richer and for Poorer!

The problem is, the only thing that we have discovered that can cause a crack in the foundation of an otherwise strong marriage (faster than anything else), is the poorer part. Not because anybody’s a gold digger, or somebody has a crazed need to wear only top brands, drink top shelf and live topside all the time. No, I’m talking about those times when you are starting out and you have no money. You are finishing up college and you are broke. You have to unexpectedly move because of a job change. You unexpectedly lose a job because of a down economy. You have children and had no idea what those little people cost. Cars tear up. People die. Roofs leak. Tuition needs to be paid. Kids want extra-curriculars. Sometimes you just really want that extra slice of life; those nice jeans, a fancy bra, a vacation that isn’t to a relatives house.¬†Life happens.

Finances cause arguments in couples. It’ a fact. If you don’t already know this, then you are not in a committed (joined financially) relationship. There is an easing into it that must take place. But if you can always remember that if you have the love, you are already richer than most in life. You will be better than fine. You will thrive.

Life together is amazing, much better than life apart could ever be. This I know to be true. So who cares about money? Sure, it buys food and clothes and shelter, but where there is love..real love, the kind that can literally keep you warm at night, keep your heart full and your mind still… everything else is secondary. For richer in love and poorer in funds is better than the alternative. But if you want to ensure constant bliss, put a little rainy day fund away…just in case of an unexpected leaky roof.

To Kate and Jeff, God Bless you both and may your roof never leak. We love yous…for richer and for poorer ! XO

For Richer and for Poorer

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Coolwhipmom 2011/10/04 - 11:44 am

Such a beautiful post. I am so lucky because my marriage has been such a joy. The hardships come like you said from external factors. Trying to pay off bills, working hard, figuring out how to be good parents. But it is such a wonderful thing to know that you have that soft place to come home to. Love the way you described that!

Truthful Mommy 2011/10/04 - 3:10 pm

Thanks Naomi. Marriage is beautiful and I love that a life time commitment between two people who were blessed enough to recognize in one another the chance for true happiness starts with a beautiful party. It was an amazing wedding and it will be an amazing marriage.
For the Big Guy and I, love always prevails..in good times and bad, for richer and for poorer. Thank God we have a sense of humor:)LOL Life is good. WE are blessed. XO

MangoChutney 2011/10/04 - 7:51 pm

This is so true, and it’s contagious. I’m having the same thought processes though I didn’t have the pleasure of attending any wedding. It’s been the poorer part for almost a decade, but it’s the hard problems that creates butter between us. I got his back and he has mine;)

Truthful Mommy 2011/10/04 - 11:15 pm

The poorer part sucks! It only seems fair to me that people who are truly in love should be blessed with loads of money and gorgeous healthy children:) Sound fair to you? I love knowing that my husband is my best friend and we always have one another’s backs.That’s the kind of connection we’ve all wanted since we were little girls playing wedding. We are blessed.

January 2011/10/04 - 9:39 pm

Beautiful post Debi. Wonderfully honest and heartfelt. Loved it.

Truthful Mommy 2011/10/04 - 11:13 pm

Thank you sweetie!

Bruna 2011/10/04 - 10:55 pm

What a sweet post and sweet words to your brother-in-law and new sister-in-law.

Marriage is hard work. I agree with everything you said. Better to be rich in love and poor in finance. The other way around just doesn’t last.

Truthful Mommy 2011/10/04 - 11:12 pm

THanks Bruna.
Marriage is hard work but these two have it down on both fronts. Their love is huge for one another.It was an amazing wedding and reception and everyone there could attest to the fact that they are so in love. What a gorgeous couple they make. I told them,I’m ready for them to bring on the nieces and nephews:)LOL

Lady goo goo gaga 2011/10/05 - 8:58 am

Excellent post, that offing leaky roof almost sent us into depression never mind divorce…..you just never prepare for those kind of things…..

Truthful Mommy 2011/10/05 - 12:08 pm

Money truly is the root of all evil. I think if there was NO money, we’d all be so much happier in the world:)

Kalley C 2011/10/05 - 10:02 am

You are so right. Usually, it’s something external (like money) that would break down a marriage. I think everyone has had discussions of finances, but money will come and money will go.

Truthful Mommy 2011/10/05 - 12:10 pm

Amen! Money can come and go, but a true partner/best friend/spouse is priceless. The unconditional love,that is what will nourish your soul and sustain your heart. When you find it, you have to realize it and prioritize it. There is nothing like it and nothing in the world worth losing it over.


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