Guest Posts

Celebrate~ Today is one of my favorite people in the entire universe’s ( bloggy or otherwise) blogiversary, Bruna at Bee’s with Honey. She is an amazing wife, mother, writer and friend. We met through Twitter and I must tell you all , do yourself a favor and follow this wonderful lady with a big smile  and big heart. I am sure that you will love her as much as I do.

Celebrate Good Times

Bruna asked me to guest post and I gladly jumped at the honor to do so. I can’t say enough good things about this great woman. She is the type of friend who is all in . I know that you know what I mean. There are not too many of thosetypes of connections left in today’s world of cyber this and social that. We are all so busy texting, telecommuting, tweeting and living in our internet that we stay connected virtually but we are able to keep our distance.

Celebrate Real Connections

Bruna connects with others at a very human level. It is apparent through her writing what an authentic person she is. I am blessed to count myself as one of her friends and I don’t mean just an “online” friend. Our friendship transcends a computer screen because Bruna is the type of woman who is made of such substance that the friendship is as genuine as any person I have ever met in real life.

Do yourself a favor and check this wonderful lady out and wish her a very happy 1st ever blogiversary! You’ll be glad that you did!

Bees With Honey


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Today, I have the pleasure of having one of my favorite people and a fantastically talented writer, my great friend, the lovely Laura Willard of A(n)(Un)Common Family guest post as my final guest in my month long 2nd year blogiversary celebration.

And while being a mom is a huge part of who I am – the part that changed me in ways nothing else could, that made me get in touch with an inner soft side (one that could actually cry!), the part that suddenly realized what true, unconditional love actually feels like – it’s not all that I am.There’s more to me, even if it’s far less adorable than my kids.”

Laura’s blog is about motherhood, marriage and how she has evolved over the years while maintaining the woman she was before the kids. It started with adoption and she touches on just about every single issue a mother or woman can face. She shares her soul and knowledge all with a twist of a wicked sense of humor. I love her and so will you. You can also find Laura on Twitter. Thank you Laura for sharing your Truth about Motherhood.

And Then I BECAME a MOM!, Laura Willard

I need to get a few things out of the way before I start:


(1) If I didn’t love Debi, I’d hate her for putting me at the end of a month-long lineup of fabulous bloggers that humble me. I mean, really? I have to follow those ladies?! Have you been reading this month? They are ah-ma-zing.

(2) I have no free time. Washing my hair is a luxury. Okay, fine, I probably wouldn’t wash that shit regularly even if I had time, but you get the point. Free time = premium. Still, when Debi asked me to post here, I was thoroughly honored, even though I can’t keep up on my own blog, because I was asked by an amazing woman and mom that I’m proud to call my friend (and pillow-fight-in-lingerie buddy for BlogHer, but that’s for another post..).


Debi embodies what women and mothers should radiate – support, love and honesty. She doesn’t sugar coat the journey that is motherhood, she doesn’t BS and she doesn’t hurt.


And she’s beautiful – inside and out.



Okay, now I’m ready to share MY truth about motherhood


Fine, I don’t have one.


You caught me with my pants down.


(Gross. I know. I’m scared for you.)


I didn’t have a vision for motherhood.


I married my husband when I was very young. I wasn’t quite drinking-legal yet (we won’t talk about how long I’d actually been drinking at that point). He was eight years older (no, he didn’t have money and no, I didn’t have a crappy home life). I knew he was The One, and I was right. Ten years later, he’s still The One.


(It’s okay. Go puke. I just did.)


I always knew I wanted to adopt my kids and when I told him while we were dating, he said, “Cool. That sounds good.”


So after we were married for six years and after I’d finished law school, we started the process.


I was in control of my life. I was smart. I was calm. I had life by the balls.


And then I became a mom.


It rocked my world. In the best way possible. But it was rocked.


I became a parent to a child that had an entire life’s worth of experiences before he came to us at 10-months-old. A lot of work, over one year of entirely sleepless nights and physical and emotional stretching that I didn’t know was possible, occurred during the first year. But I figured it out.



And then 14 months later, I became a mom for a second time to a child whose immediate medical needs made mine look boring. And whose personality was the opposite of my son’s. So I went back to the drawing board and learned how to mother from scratch.


I’ve only been at this motherhood gig for three-and-a-half years. And yet I’ve learned more than I did during seven years of “higher education.” Would you like to know what I’ve learned?


(Of course you would.)


Not as much as I thought I would have.


Just when I think I know something, I learn something else that shows me that I didn’t quite know everything.


So I suppose I do have a few truths about motherhood. Motherhood teaches you something new every day. It humbles you to no end. Sometimes it stretches you so far you think you might break. But you don’t. And it fills your heart with unconditional love.


*P.S. Laura, you are amazing and I already loved you hardcore but after this post, I must made me weep a bit:) What a wonderful  way to end this series!XOXO



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I am absolutely giddy that today one of my favorite Mamas in the blogisphere is gracing the page at The TRUTH about Motherhood in celebration of my 2nd Blogiversary. Peryl Manning, better known from her highly popular blog Parenting Ad Absurdum .

“An irreverent, humorous and honest look at what it is truly like to parent small children, the highs and lows, the thrilling parts and the not-so-thrilling-at-all parts.”

Peryl is the awesome Mommy to two spirited young boys. On any day you can read about a variety of topics ranging from little vampires ordering blood off the Starbucks menu to the correct protocol on how to name a Canadian baby. No matter the topic, Peryl will deliver it to you with grace and poise. She’s the lady who has the magic touch and can make any pill easier to swallow.Do yourself a favor, check her out. Peryl can also be found on Twitter. Thank You so much for sharing your sage advice with us, Peryl! XOXO
Parenting Ad Absurdum Gives advice, Peryl Manning, www.motherhoodthetruth.comThe Truth about Motherhood
My advice

So, my advice to other mothers, if you were to ask for it, which you probably didn’t (first off, really, my advice would be never give other mothers advice, because most of the time, you’re just going to tee them off – but I’m incapable of following this rule myself – I’m a writer, which means I find it impossible to keep my opinions to myself)….But anyway, if you happened to ask for my advice, it would be this: Never, but never compare yourself to another mother. If you compare yourself negatively, you’ll get depressed, and if you compare yourself favorably, it will only come back to bite you in the behind.
For me I learned this when I had my second boy. All of the euphemisms that I had privately used to describe other people’s children like “spirited” and “willful” and “pain-in-the-ass” came home to roost in my chicken coop. I now had the toddler who climbed the shelves in Safeway, who had a tantrum in Target when denied pop rocks, and who now, as a three-year old, is sassiness personified. And I am usually six feet behind him. alternately losing my cool and pretending I don’t know him.
And when I get the dirty looks from other shoppers as he slides under their cart, or knocks down a pyramid of wine bottles, I remember my own inner judgy-judgerson, and smack her upside the head. Because no matter what you see on the outside, every mother has a full, well-rounded story as interesting and complex as your own. If she appears to be losing her mind – she probably has good reason. And if she appears to be perfection personified, she’s probably so tired she just tried to to put the milk away in the dishwasher. So give her, and at the same time yourself, a little latitude, and a big, big break.
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Today, I am truly honored to have the lovely and witty Melissa of Married my Sugar Daddy. She writes with humor and honesty that make me keep coming back for more. If you have not had the pleasure of reading /knowing Melissa (@Madijack) , I certainly recommend that you  get to know her. She is snarky and funny and 21 flavors of entertaining. I love reading her blog, I always come away feeling like I’ve been catching up with an old friend. She has made me laugh,cry and think…sometimes in the same post. Thank you so much Melissa for sharing your truth with so much going on right now. XOXO,, Melissa Chapman, The TRUTH about Motherhood

The TRUTH about Motherhood

I really believed when I was smack in the trenches of arguing with my husband about  not wanting him to buy the no-frills diapers-, since  my kids ALWAYS leaked through them- that once the stage of them being completely dependent on me for their basic needs was done- I’d be in the homestretch.

I thought those early years- getting up at the crack of 2am to heat up a bottle (which I only realized after my second baby- was as simple as popping  a cup of water into the microwave as opposed to boiling hot water over an open flame for 20 minutes) was the grueling part of motherhood. But the thing is- during all those early years- motherhood’s challenges are primarily physical. They test your endurance, school you on how to be a muti-tasker and at times make you feel like you are operating on auto-pilot.  But your kids-unless they’re dragging around a soiled diaper- are for the most part, happy, smiling little babes, who let you dress them up and create your very own mirror image in them.

Then they grow up- and of course, no one tells you that the real meat and work begins then. As my kids have gotten older, the questions- that seemingly come out of nowhere have begun to permeate our every conversation at this breakneck pace- and my inability to keep up and juggle all their feelings, thoughts, self-esteem issues, confidence and little egos feels like a balancing act that is simply impossible.

I often feel ill-equipped to be the source for all these pressing concerns- like; who the hell am I to answer all these questions, assuage their fears and am I enough to be able to raise these two individuals and arm them with everything they’ll ever need to become independent enough to feel okay on their own. And I know I’m not alone in these thoughts, in my insecurities about motherhood. But honestly I  just wish there was a manual that would fool-proof every impulse I have and make sure it was the correct one. The truth about motherhood is that no one tells you what an awesome responsibility this motherhood thing is- and that there are no guarantees  it will all end up the way you want it to.

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Today, I have the pleasure of having Heather Reinhard of ThetaMom as my guest on The TRUTH about Motherhood. Heather is a fabulous writer and all around wonderful lady. As I read her post, I realized just how much the two of us have in common. We have a common goal; to share the truth about Motherhood and to build a sisterhood of Motherhood. I have a great respect for Heather and I think that you will really enjoy her piece. If you are not a follower of Heather, I hope that you will do yourself and favor and check out this classy Mommy. If you are here from, Welcome and I am glad to have you here as I celebrate my 2nd year blog anniversary. Thank you Heather for sharing your Truth. XO


My Truth


I always knew I would be a mother someday. I think many of us have those dreams similar to those of walking down the aisle and buying the perfect little house with the white picket fence. Well, purchasing that first home and even getting married are huge milestones, but my life completely changed when I entered the world of motherhood.


What’s my truth?


Pretty much the very reason I began my blog – I wanted to connect with other women and mothers who I know were experiencing the same kind of things as I was experiencing. I developed a Mission which essentially became the purpose of my blog.

I remember thinking, “Why didn’t anyone divulge the real deal to me about actually giving birth? Why didn’t anyone tell me the whole truth about what to really expect? Why didn’t they force me to take some time for myself and enjoy every second of being selfish before I gave birth?

Why didn’t they tell me to travel more? Why didn’t they tell me that this would be the most difficult job and also the most rewarding at the same time?

Why didn’t they describe the heartache I would feel when my child was sick? Why didn’t they sit me down and really tell me the long and challenging road I would have ahead of me before bringing this beautiful human being into the world?

Why didn’t they emphasize the fact that life as I once knew it would never be the same on so many levels?

Bottom line?

I felt like I was misinformed. I felt like there was a secret code shared among mothers that wasn’t written or spoken about. And I feel the same way about motherhood.

Why didn’t anyone tell me the real deal about motherhood? Although I love my children more than anything in the world, the reality of this role was never clearly defined for me. It is by far the hardest job on the planet. So, I decided to break the secret code or at least maybe the silence. Hence, Theta Mom was born.

Theta Mom is my truth and my salvation; a place that encourages all mothers to feel united as we travel this road together. We are not perfect. We admit when we fail and we are proud of how we gracefully pick up the pieces, learn from our mistakes and move on as better mothers for it.

Motherhood is not easy – but at least we are in this thing together.

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Today, I have the pleasure of having Naomi of Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip~ Naomi is AWESOME. She is a hilariously snarkilicious, salsa diva with a brilliant ability to laugh at the every day situations. You know those situations that make us want to cry? Not Naomi, she can turn that frown upside down and find the funny in it. There is so much to love about her and her blog that the list would be shorter to list what I don’t like. I don’t like that she doesn’t get to post as often as I’d like, instead she leaves me with baited breath waiting for my daily dose of funny.She’s a bloggy sadomasochist that way.  She can be found at SheKnows, at her her blog and on Twitter. She is amazing. I don’t mean that in the smoke up your ass, I love everybody way. I mean she is really freaking amazing.I heart her hardcore and I know you will too. Not only is she sweet and funny, she has a heart as big as Texas! Thank you for sharing your truths about motherhood.

5 Things You Need to Know Before You Have a Baby

If you’ve been getting your pregnancy 411 from the average parenting magazine, you will probably think you are ready to have a baby if you:

  • Have a nursery set up
  • Have purchased or received everything on your baby registry list down to the butt wipe warmer, the video surveillance baby monitor and the penis protector
  • Have a couple of good, sturdy nursing bras and some comfy yoga pants

Unfortunately, you are still missing out on a few pieces of critical information.

  1. Your baby doesn’t give two tidlywinks about whether the walls in his nursery are lemon yellow or tangerine orange. And if you are me, your baby will end up sleeping in your bedroom until he’s six years old anyway. So do yourself a favor, shove the crib in the corner of your bedroom and make yourself a nice Mom Cave instead. Or a swanky pimped-out laundry room with a large screen TV, comfy chairs, a chocolate fondue machine (for extra energy) and lots of shelving. Trust me. You’ll appreciate it a few months from now when you are face-to-face with the 250 loads of laundry you will now be doing each day for the next 18 years.
  2. Fifty percent of the crap that you think you need before you have a baby is useless. I know. I bought all of it. And then some. For example, while in theory the penis protector is a nice idea (because who wants to get squirted in the face while changing a baby?), in reality there is really nothing you can do to stop the onslaught of biohazard you are going to be exposed to over the next decade or so. If you really want to get something to protect yourself, I recommend an industrial strength biohazard suit with matching gas mask. (They make great baby shower gifts, too!)
  3. Take note. If you plan to nurse, wait until after the baby is born to buy your nursing bras. Though you may already feel like you resemble Dolly Parton thanks to pregnancy hormones, what you don’t realize is that your hooters may in fact quadruple in size the moment the baby was born. Take it from me. Wait until after the baby is born to get yourself fitted for a nursing bra. Otherwise you will spend $50 on a bra that is more likely to fit a Polly Pocket than you.
  4. On the other hand, the purchase of yoga pants is a wise investment. While it is true that some moms (think Kourtney Kardashian and Gwyneth Paltrow) manage to make it through the newborn stage still wearing makeup, flirty tunics and skinny jeans, the rest of us are happy if we make it out of our pjs most days.
  5. No amount of physical preparation for your baby’s arrival is going to prepare you for the psychological upheaval you will experience post-mommyhood. Becoming a mother changes you so completely that certain things that once seemed so important become completely irrelevant (for example…going out dancing all night long, getting a manicure, eating in nice restaurants, eating in restaurants at all, eating while sitting down, daily showers, deodorant, ironing one’s clothes, wearing high heels, wearing make-up, wearing anything but stained sweat pants…the list goes on.) Never in my wildest dreams did I expect I would find myself several years into motherhood, wearing mismatched house slippers and a T-shirt covered in peanut butter, shouting loudly through the grocery store, “Please do not wipe your nose on that lady’s purse” and “The pineapple display is not your personal jungle gym” and “Stop strangling your brother with that jump rope.” On the other hand, neither did I expect this little drooling ball of giggles and biohazard to revolutionize my life so much. Because even if no longer have the energy to scrape the peanut butter and poop off myself most nights before I fall into bed, I never imagined that cuddling up to a blanket stealing, kidney-kicking, , bed-hogging toddler would feel this good.
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Throat Punch Thursday~Spokeo: Leading Stalkers to your doorstep since 2006

Today’s Throat Punch came to me via a friend on Twitter and boy is it worthy of a Throat Punch! Have you heard of NO? Well, let me tell you a little bit about…

What is Spokeo?

Spokeo is a people search engine that organizes vast quantities of white-pages listings, social information, and other people-related data from a large variety of public sources. Our mission is to help people find and connect with others, more easily than ever. I AM CALLING BULLSHIT! Sure it sounds all innocuous and everything but is it? Is it really? Think about what its offering…all of YOUR business fro anybody else to have access to. Scary shit!

Translation: Stalkers Strangers can find out all of your very private information at the push of a button. Can anyone say BIG BROTHER? Sure, this would be effing amazing to find that last missing link that you dated when you were fourteen and the dumb sonofabitch has STILL not gotten a Facebook.Really? How the hell are we supposed to see how fat he has gotten, How bald he looks.Has this man no good sense to oblige us in our one request? Then there are the losers who hate you in the world, want you in the world, want to smell and taste you in the world…or worse, want to be you in the world….and they can be because makes it that easy!

Throat Punch Thursday~Spokeo: Leading Stalkers to your doorstep since 2006

This has certainly got to be some sort of infringement on our constitutional right to privacy.I don’t want my kids friend’s weird dad knowing where I live and being able to get an actual bird-eye view of my house.VERY creepy. Spokeo.Com You most certainly deserve the Chuck Norris roundhouse kick with a side of monkey toes to strike you blind.Followed by  my own special TruthfulMommy blend of PMS rage,palm to the gullet, shin kick and kick in the ass. Spokeo, simply stated, you suck!! Why not try updating info. Mine is all off. So not only are you being spamming assholes, aiding and abetting criminals and stalkers, you are also guilty of having a sub par project.I believe the term is POS!
NO Soup for you!
Throat Punch, Chuck Norris, Thursday, florida 15 year old boy killedOh yeah, I almost forgot ( well, technically I did..twice) THROAT PUNCH THURSDAY celebrated it’s 1 year anniversary of being in existence. WootWOot! I’m a little concerned that the idea came to me the week between my wedding anniversary and my babies what does that say about me?? HAPPY THROAT PUNCH THURSDAY!!!!!
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heidi david, madame paradox
Today,I have the absolute pleasure of having one of my all time favorite writers, Heidi David of Madame Paradox , guest post at The TRUTH about Motherhood. She is an amazing writer and person, with a big heart and the intellect to match.
“Heidi David is a writer and freelance producer.  She is the author of an as yet unpublished work of dark commercial fiction, THE FLYING JEWEL; a tale of a traveling circus where the price of admission is one’s free will. Brought up in a pleasant yet dysfunctional suburb of New York, Heidi’s excessive exposure to musical theater at a young age as well as a lifetime of insomnia have contributed to her peculiar world view. Ms. David has been known to take an occasional tango class as well as repel down cliffs, thus defying the centuries old tradition of nice Jewish girls finding excuses to get out of gym class.  When she’s not writing or producing, Heidi lives a gluten-free existence in her Manhattan apartment while pining for the bagels of her youth.”

Heidi is a writer’s blogger, meaning if you have a reverence for the written word you absolutely MUST give her blog a look. You won’t be sorry. Her words will take you to the four corners of the world, traveling space and time, she will make you laugh and cry. Heidi will take you to the brink of insanity and then rescue you from yourself. Her posts remind me of why I write. She expands my imagination and stimulates my brain, she can do the same for you. Heidi can also be found on Twitter.
Thank you so much Debi for inviting me to guest post. I must admit when I first sat down to write something I struggled with what topic to choose because I’m not a mother. But then I realized I know a lot about mothers. Funny enough, I happen to have one.
The kitchen of my youth was painted oh-so-cheery yellow with two walls of ridiculous wallpaper. To be more specific, imagine if the 1970’s went on a drunken bender and threw up all over the breakfast nook, this might come close to describing it. No doubt my mother would explain how fashionable that wallpaper was at the time. To which I would probably say something sarcastic like, “And if everyone told you to jump off a bridge wearing that wallpaper, would you?” For me, as a teenager, that yellow kitchen represented the color of conformity.
Mom was a remarkably creative child who studied concert piano in high school, as well as theater and opera in college. Do you remember those Judy Garland movies where she’d walk into a room with sheet music tucked under her arm, and suddenly, as if by magic, a piano player and a chorus of singing friends would appear? I imagine my mother’s youth was a little like that. I saw a picture of her once, right after she and my father married. She had on these big dangling earrings and was smoking a cigarette. I’ve seen many photos of her from the past, but none like that one. She looked kind of…ballsy. But in the fifties when you were the second-generation child of people who’d spent their lives trying to better themselves, you didn’t become an actress. You got married and had kids.
I am my mother’s youngest. By the time I entered the scene I saw her as a woman who wore makeup and panty hose to the grocery store, who smiled and said hello to strangers on the street, and who knew how to make a dandy Swedish meatball with grape jelly and Heinz chili sauce. Every now and then she’d try to sit down at the piano, growing teary eyed that she could no longer play or sing the way she once had.
My mother liked to have us spend weekends touring famous historical landmarks. We went to art exhibits, museums and lots of theater. She also read to me at night, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, Anne of Green Gables, and The House at Pooh Corner to name a few. Her renditions left an indelible mark on my brain.
Now I could tell you for every beige blouse she owned, I wore a black one; that while she said hello to everyone, I stared at my feet and avoided eye contact; that she was the social butterfly meanwhile I kept my nose buried in a book. And those descriptions would be true, but not entirely. I was involved in theater and dance from elementary school through adulthood. At thirteen I even picked up a hammer and chisel and started carving in stone. And if you get me in the right social situation, I’m the friendliest shy person you’ve ever met. Also, I too am one hell of a hostess, Swedish meatballs not withstanding.
Recently I spent a month in Florida with my mother. I’m not going to sugar coat it by saying this was an easy experience. Everyone in my family has rather “vivid” personalities, and to make matters worse they were living with me, cranky writer accustomed to her solitude. So you can imagine the hijinks that ensued. Be that as it may, there were these moments with mom and me in the kitchen. I’d be chopping up my kale while she was whipping up one of her classic meals, and because we had to cook around each other in this small space it was almost a choreographed ballet of sorts (something else she exposed us to in my youth). Of course, she is still a neat freak with an unnatural attachment to Mr. Clean, and I am still a pack rat, who hates it when she takes my glass before I’m finished drinking. But I wouldn’t trade those moments in the kitchen with her for anything.
My blog has been a fascinating way for us to get to know each other again, possibly for the first time. For one thing, I think my mother believed I’d forgotten my childhood, for another, she didn’t know I could write, not really anyway. Often, I use stories from my childhood as analogies for the writing process. This has occasionally led to humor in my posts at my mother’s expense. I worry sometimes that she doesn’t know what I know, that all those cultural activities she brought into my life expanded my world in ways that inform every word I write, and every idea I have.
Several years ago I took up painting. Didn’t have a clue what I was doing, really. I just bought as many tubes of acrylics as I could afford and began putting paint on the canvas. And wouldn’t you know it, my favorite color of the bunch, the perfect foil for all the bolder more unusual shades? Naples yellow. Or as I might describe it, mom’s-kitchen-yellow.

I have come to realize my mother and I are nothing alike, yet completely similar. Perhaps that’s the way it is with all mothers and daughters? So on behalf of willful children every where let me say, we may not look like you, or sound like you, but trust me, we know the echo of your passions colors our world everyday, and we love you for it.
heidi david, madame paradox
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Mommy Friend~My Truth ABout Motherhood

I’d like to welcome the  lovely and sweet Lori of Mommyfriend to the TRUTH about Motherhood. Lori is exactly what she says she is a “Mommyfriend”. I love her attitude. Lori is loving motherhood and her husband and it is evident on her blog. She is witty and adorable. She is peppy and perky and when I read her blog, I leave feeling rejuvenated. Her blog is the blog for every Mommy. She shares the ups and downs of being a Mommy, wife and trying to keep all the balls in the air and she does it all with a smile.You can find her here and on Twitter.Mommyfriend is a friend that you want to have. Thank you Lori for sharing your Truth!

Mommy Friend~My Truth ABout Motherhood,

My Truth about Motherhood
by Mommyfriend

Nothing and I really do mean nothing has taught me more than motherhood. While most of my motherhood truths have been learned in a “frying pan to the head” sort of way, I’m getting at least a little smarter all the time. Or smart enough to be dangerous anyway.
I may not have all the answers, but thanks to my kids I know this much is true:
1. Every child has been blessed with a miraculous talent. It’s our job to find it, nurture it and never ever exploit it. Are you listening Dina Lohan? Didn’t think so.

2. Not everyone will love your child they way you do. I know, crazy. I have my son’s 3rd grade teacher to thank for this lesson.

3. I will always feel like I should have done more. If I spent the next 78,840 hours glued to my eldest until he reached 18 I’d still feel like it wasn’t enough. Let it go woman!

4. Time waits for no mom. Can I get an amen?

5. Follow your dreams and make sure your kids see you do it. Chances are they will because the pursuit of any dream will lead you right back to #3.
There will never be two little boys quite like mine and I’m pretty sure they’re teaching me more than I’ll ever teach them. My motherhood journey may be filled with lots of potholes and gridlock but the scenery is absolutely amazing.

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