The TRUTH About Motherhood

Category: Throat Punch Thursday

Rolling Stone’s Dzhokhar Tsarnaev Cover is Unconscionable ~Throat Punch Thursday
Rolling Stone Magazine has got it’s August 1 issue all wrong by plastering a glammed up photo of 19-year-old Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the Boston Bomber, on the cover of it’s latest issue.
At first glance, you might mistake the young murderer for a cool devil may care attitude rock musician. He’s attractive with tousled hair, five o’clock shadow and a come hither stare and then you realize that you are being seduced by a man who, pardon my french but I don’t give a flying fuck how nice or religious he was, is a murderer of three innocents, one being a child, responsible for injuring 260 people and taking the American people’s sense of security hostage on April 15 in Boston.
Contributing editor Jane Reitman curated the story after 2 months of in depth interviews with all those people who knew Dzhokhar Tsarneav. She was trying to get to the bottom of the story and she may very well have done a fantastic job of telling us the whole story but to put a murderer on the cover of a magazine that glamorizes the lives of rock stars is sending the wrong message. It is making him into a hero. It is making murder sexy.
There is nothing glamorous or remotely cool about what Dzhokhar Tsarnaev did. He wreaked havoc on a nation and no matter what his reason was, he was wrong. Rolling Stone magazine is wrong. The title beneath his photo reads,
The Bomber
How a Popular, Promising Student was Failed by his Family, fell into Radical Islam and Became a Monster
To me, this title is dripping with sympathy; placing the blame on his parents. I don’t care how nice he was or great a kid or kind heart he had, the moment he decided to participate in an act of terrorism that changed the fabric of our country forever he forfeited his right to sympathy or understanding. The moment he killed another human being, he forfeited his right to being a hero. And by running his photo in this manner on the cover, Rolling Stone magazine has forfeited its right to my money. Not only did they have the audacity to glorify a murderer, they then stood behind their cover and defended it.
But Mayor Menino of Boston got it all right.
Mr. Menino said what had to be said in a way that it should be said. He was not seething with anger or dripping with hatred. He was disappointed and saddened. I am too but I am not so politically correct. Hey Rolling Stone, Fuck you!
Throat Punch to Rolling Stone Magazine. What do you think of Rolling Stone putting Dzhokhar Tsarnaev on the cover of next month’s issue?
2013/07/18
Robyn Lawley Says Size 8 is Plus Sized ~Throat Punch Thursday
Robyn Lawley launched a plus sized clothing line that starts at size 8.8!!!!! As if girls today don’t have enough of a challenging existence just trying to survive the teen years with their self-esteem and body image in tact, now we are labeling average sized women as plus sized.What message is that sending? And honestly, do we grown women need any more media outlets to tell us we could lose a few pounds? Haven’t we all given Spanx enough of our money? Spanx wins every time. What.the.FUCK?
Gorgeous Australian model Robyn Lawley debuted her plus-size swimwear collection online this week, in hopes that it will eventually become the “go-to brand for swimwear for all women.” The collection includes swimsuits from size eight to 18 and ranges in price from $140 to $200. This idea I love; cute bathing suits for every woman. It is much like the Jennifer Lopez line at Kohl’s (a personal favorite of mine due to the fact that it fits my curves and doesn’t make me look like I am banished to a life of burkas for having an ass), the Kardashian Line at Sears who takes into consideration all body types and Torrid a store that makes fashionable clothing for women sizes 14-24 ( that is more in the realm of plus-sized.) These places and lines are awesome because they give women with a little weight on them cute clothes to wear so they can look like everyone else because believe me just because we are overweight doesn’t mean we want to wear ugly clothes or Mrs. Roper moomoos. We’re thick not blind for God’s sake.
Robyn says she swims a lot and found that in order to find swimsuits that fit her, she fell into a category that wasn’t very fashionable. Wait a minute, what? I’ve seen her photos, she is only a size 12 but the woman is 6 foot 2 inches tall. If she were any smaller than a size 12, she’d blow away. I realize a size 12 is considered obese for certain parts of the United States, like Los Angeles and New York but she definitely looks like the average fit woman to me. She doesn’t look overweight and there is no way she is shopping in the plus sized stores. Big and Tall, maybe. There is plenty of fashionable clothing in her size, unless she only shops sample sales. Then yeah, nothing probably fits because all of those pieces are specifically designed for anorexic 12-year-old boys who eat tissue paper and chain smoke. The only thing they get close to nutrition is if they accidentally drink a diet coke with lime. (Gotta keep the scurvy at bay.)
Lawley, who was the first plus-sized model to star in a Ralph Lauren campaign and appear in the pages of Vogue Australia, hopes her line will change the public’s attitude about plus-sized fashion. Despite the fact that the average American woman wears a size 14 or larger, Lawley said companies still cater to the smaller segment of the population. The whole idea that Lawley is even considered plus sized in the first place is preposterous. She is a beautiful, average body type woman. The fact that any asshole wanted to pat themselves on the back for letting a “plus sized model” fatty, fatty two-by-four that she is in his campaign in the first place needs to be bitch slapped prior to their throat punch.
So this week, my throat punch is to Robyn Lawley for creating this beautiful line of swimwear only to ruin it by caving to the man and labeling a size 8 as plus sized and to our society who thinks it’s acceptable to label clothing in a size 8 as plus sized and worse still to make women feel like their worth is defined by the size of their pants, how much they eat and what size everyone else deems is acceptable. We live in a society where people feel like they can freely comment on other people’s size, shape and how they look. When did it become okay to insult people just because you don’t like the way they look? This is bullshit. Stop letting the media and fashion houses fuck our daughters up! Give them the chance to love themselves before society teaches them to hate their body.
Instead of all of us trying to starve ourselves to fit the fashion industry and Hollywood’s idea of beautiful, why not make them make clothes that fit all of us without shaming us? After all, they work for us. We buy the clothes that pay their bills and make them famous. It is not the other way around. If we refuse to accept their standards and bend to their will, if they want to stay in business they will need to meet our needs. Who the fuck made them the boss of our world?
Rage against this mind-set for your daughters and your granddaughters. If today’s fashion designers can’t be inclusive, then maybe it’s time for a change in designers not in us.
What do you think of a Robyn Lawley being considered plus size and worse having a line that labels size 8 plus sized?
Photo
2013/07/11
Dear Fat Chicks Please Wear Clothes That Fit You~Throat Punch Thursday
I saw the following on a message board. Am I surprised? No, because people are kind of assholes and people really act like assholes when they can hide behind a computer screen.
“WHY do SOME very obese women wear clothes 4 sizes too small?”
Apparently, we’ve never heard of the phrase, live and let live. Look, I am not so tragically obese that I roam the aisles of Wal-Mart with my belly hanging out below the bottom of my shirt as I scour the joint for Pork Rinds and Mountain Dew but I do take offense to this statement.
I have been every single size between a 4/5 ( in the 90’s, which I imagine with vanity sizing being what it is would be a size 0 today) and I have been as large as a size 20 and I have never walked into anywhere with my belly hanging below my shirt or my clothes being 4 sizes too small.
But before you condemn someone and chastise them for choosing to be a “fat chick” and not wearing clothes that fit, maybe you should consider a few things; maybe she just had a baby and does not yet fit back into her prematernity clothes, perhaps she is destitute and can not afford bigger clothes, maybe she has something wrong with her physically that prevents her from fitting into said clothes, maybe she has a mental deficit that prevents her from knowing any better, or perhaps she is just so fucking comfortable with her body she doesn’t give a shit ( which we should all be so lucky). It appears to me that these Fat chicks wearing clothes that are too small are not the problem but maybe your very narrow minded view of the world and obvious sizist attitude are the problem.
The comments were equally as bad calling heavy women everything from classless to tasteless. Maybe they are doing the best with what they’ve got. Live a day in their skin and then see how easy it is to just dress “appropriately” for your size. Let’s be honest, there are a lot of smaller women who wear clothes that are too small for them as well with body parts hanging out all over the place and you don’t see anyone complaining about that. I think they are both equally offensive.
What do you think about people hiding behind their keyboards to be mean to other people?
2013/06/27
When Mental Health is Marginalized
You’re crazy! Oh My God, she is acting so bipolar! I can’t go shopping this afternoon, I am so depressed! Get over it. Take a chill pill! Don’t have a panic attack.
We hear these statements made almost daily. For some, they may seem harmless but to those of us who suffer from these diagnoses, it’s far from funny. It’s serious.
My chemical imbalance is not your bad mood. My battle with eating disorders is not you trying to lose 5 vanity pounds. Someone’s deep depression is not the same as you having a bad day or being sad because things didn’t go your way at the game tonight. My inability to see myself as I am in the mirror is definitely not the same as being slightly concerned with the way your ass looks in your jeans. Someone’s PPD is not the same as you being overwhelmed because you took on too many things. Somebody’s OCD is not the same as you wanting to wash your hands before meals. Being afraid to take a risk is not the same as being so terrified to be in a room with people that your heart races so fast that you are sure you are having a heart attack. (more…)
2013/05/30
The Krims, Zach Sobiech & Daryl Raetz: From Tragedy Comes Inspiration
There is no Throat Punch today. There has been so much sadness this week, so many bad things happen every single day. Today, I need a little sunshine, so I’ve decided to share a couple uplifting stories that just might give you a little perspective.
Oklahoma was devastated and leveled by a tornado that took from it some of it’s most precious residents but there are people all over the country who are rallying together to bring them relief. There is human kindness to follow every tragedy, as there is sunshine and rainbows to follow the rain. That is good news. Here are some more stories of inspiration.
The parents of Lulu and Leo Krim, the two beautiful children slain by their nanny last fall, Marina and Kevin Krim are expecting another child. If anyone ever needed a new baby, that family needs a tiny new miracle. They deserve every ounce of happiness that baby will bring into their life. This rainbow baby is just what they need. I’ve never been so excited for complete strangers to be pregnant.
There is a little girl, Tatum Raetz, in Phoenix Arizona who lost her father, Officer Daryl Raetz, over the weekend in the line of duty. Early Sunday morning, Raetz, 29, was killed by a hit-and-run driver while working a DUI investigation.
Yesterday, the 5-year-old had her kindergarten graduation and hundreds of Phoenix police officers converged on a her Valley school Wednesday morning in a show of support for one of their own.
Because her father couldn’t be there, her Phoenix Police Department family showed up to stand in his stead and celebrate Tatum.
“She had 300, 400 parents up here for her this morning,” Officer James Holmes said. “It was absolutely amazing. It was bittersweet and it was a bit overwhelming for all of us.”
Officers lined the sidewalk clapping for Tatum and congratulating her as she and her mother walked into the school for the graduation ceremony. Inside the auditorium, it was standing room only with a sea of blue in the back and along the side of the room.
And if that hasn’t lifted your spirits enough for today, there is a family in Minnesota who lost their precious 17-year-old son to cancer on May 20, 2013 but what an amazing boy he was. He lived every single day like he was dying and though he may be gone; he will not soon be forgotten. We should all hope to leave a legacy of love and integrity that Zach Sobiech has left. Do yourself a favor watch the video. It will change you.
There are good people in the world. It’s not all about the throat punches and cruel inhumanity of random acts of disaster. The world is a beautiful place filled with amazing people with stories that will touch and change you. You only need to stop being angry long enough to see past the fear and hurt and chaos.
Be good to each other and live every day like you are dying. Tell those around you how much they mean to you. Tell your loved ones that you love them. Hold their hand. Snuggle them tight and carry on. Choose to be happy. Choose to see the good in people. Embrace your life, as it is don’t wait for something to change to be worthy for love. Just do it. Forget the rest.
Today, I am grateful for babies being born, my two beautiful girls who fill my heart and life with love every single day, for my husband who is truly my better half on most days, for little girls on big stages dancing their hearts out in their tutus, old friends and best friends who are more like family who know you and love you in spite of yourself, for family who have spent this week ( this entire month) celebrating with us. I am so blessed to have you all. To friends near and far, IRL and online, who make my life sweeter by being part of it. Today, I am thankful to be alive to enjoy this great, big beautiful, chaotic life.
What are you thankful for today?
2013/05/23
Hey Fat Girls, Abercrombie & Fitch CEO Doesn’t Want You or Your Money!
Abercrombie & Fitch CEO, Mike Jeffries, very un- Abercrombie & Fitch like himself, has gone on record saying that he does not want to market his product to the fat kids or the unattractive masses. He wants the thin, cool, popular kids. He’s kind of a bully. There should be a sign out front: Send me your thin, cool, waif-like huddled masses. Keep your fat, unpopular and poor. We fat shame. Welcome! (more…)
2013/05/09
Throat Punch Thursday~ Lock Up Your Guns, People!!
How many children have to be “accidentally” shot and killed before people start to lock up their fucking guns? How many children have to die before we accept that our babies and their safety is more important than being able to own a gun? This week’s Throat Punch goes to gun owners who do not lock up their guns and give their children guns before they are even in Kindergarten.
In Southern Kentucky, the cutest little 2-year-old girl, Caroline Sparks, with big blue eyes and blonde hair was accidentally shot dead this week by her 5-year-old brother, Kristian Sparks. The little boy received the .22 caliber Crickett rifle, with which he fatally shot his sister, as a birthday gift.
The little Crickett is a single-shot rifle that has a child safety. How ironic is that? The Crickett website features .22 –caliber rifle models for little kids with stock colors ranging from pink to red and white and blue swirls, for the ultimate girly girl. “My first rifle” is the company’s slogan. Sweet, does that come with a camo jacket that says “Kills People Dead!”
In that part of the country, it is not unheard of for young children to learn how to handle a gun for hunting and many of them have guns handed down to them or given to them for special occasions. I know this to be true because I lived in Tennessee where they share that mentality. I used to teach 5-year-olds who would regularly look forward to going hunting with their daddies.
The children’s mother said she was cleaning and stepped out for a second when she heard the shot. The little boy was playing with his rifle when it accidentally discharged and killed his baby sister. The family insists that they kept the rifle in a place considered to be a safe spot.
Okay, I don’t even know where to start. First off, I don’t even believe in giving kids play guns, let alone real fucking guns with actual bullets. Secondly, obviously this “considered to be safe” spot was not very hard to access or safe. This rifle should have been locked up and not loaded. Unless this little boy was being trained to be a sniper, or they expected a 5-year-old to protect the family from intruders trying to enter their trailer, why the fuck would it be loaded?
The gun should have never been in the house with children that small in the first place, especially if it was not locked up. A 5-year-old sees this as a toy. He has no way of having the reverence and concern for safety that an adult should.
I know this was an accident and this family tragically lost their little girl but why would anyone leave children unattended, even for a second, in a home where the gun is not unloaded and locked up. It’s like playing a game of Russian roulette with your children’s lives. Guess what? The bullet was in the chamber and now a little girl is dead and a little boy has to grow up and live with that.
Even more shocking to me is the accompanying video in which the Grandmother, Linda Riddle, looked like a deranged lunatic who kept smiling, which I am assuming is a nervous tick. Riddle said she is devastated, but comforted knowing that her granddaughter is in a better place.
“It was God’s will. It was her time to go, I guess,” she told WLEX. “I just know she’s in heaven right now and I know she’s in good hands with the Lord.”
WHAT??? It was not God’s will that the little girl ended up with a bullet in her. It was bad parenting and poor choices in birthday gifts. Hey, people stop giving your kids guns as gifts and for the love of God, Lock up YOUR FUCKING GUNS!!!!
I am sick to death of children dying senselessly because they had access to a gun. Please don’t give me the ”guns don’t kill people, people do” response because if this country weren’t flooded with guns ( licensed and not) we wouldn’t be mourning all of these senseless deaths. Bottom line is that people are just not responsible enough to own guns and procreate so we need to eliminate one or the other. We have to keep having children so the species survives, so that leaves one answer; GET.RID.OF.THE.GUNS!!!!
2013/05/02
“The Mommy Business Trip” Just an Excuse to Get Away from Our Families & Booze it Up ~ Throat Punch Thursday
So, I read this Wall Street Journal article this morning about “Mommy Business Trip” basically mocking moms who go to conferences because mommies don’t work, right? I will put you out of your misery now and tell you that the deserving recipient of today’s throat punch is the woman, Katherine Rosman, who wrote this article.
The jist of the article is that moms go to conferences and conventions just so they can guilt-free ( as if there is such a damn thing) jet off and leave their “responsibilities” i.e kids and husband to have a girls weekend because what could we moms possibly need “business trips” for?
I don’t know about you but I am the hardest working mommy I know. I clean my house, I cook meals, I fold the fucking laundry, I’m room mother for both classes, I run my kids to all of their classes, school functions and occasions plus I work from home full-time and I am the mother fucking bomb.com. I work and then I work some more and I have the bags under my eyes and fatigue to prove it. I don’t need an excuse to get away. I need an insane asylum for not doing it sooner.
I have not been to any conferences yet because of this very mentality. I can’t leave my family because then what kind of “mom” would I be? What will people think? I’ll tell you what kind of mom I would be…a human one. Man cannot live on bread alone and Moms cannot live on wiping snotty noses, folding laundry and wiping asses alone. It’s lonely at the top and we need a break. And to be fair, I hear a lot of moms bring their kids with them! Yeah, loads of partying goes on when you have a wee one suckling from your teet.
Okay, so I went on my first overnight without my family in January. My oldest is 8, I’ve not been alone in 8 years. 8. YEARS!! Is that even natural? And no, I don’t get to be alone when I shower or pee. I am chaperoned by little people at all hours of the day and night. NO, I don’t even get to sleep without tiny feet kicking me in the back or headbutting me in the face.
I am going to two conferences this year and leaving on my second Press trip in a couple of weeks, during the busiest month of the year for me. I have a daughter getting her first communion, a daughter turning 6, a husband celebrating his 38^th birthday, a 14^th wedding anniversary to celebrate, Mother’s day, end of the year ballet performances, end of the year violin recitals, the annual neighborhood garage sale, not to mention all of my household chores and my work obligations. I have a lot of shit to get done. Why am I going on this press trip? Because I need some fucking sleep and to talk to adults and maybe, more likely, it will be beneficial to my career in some small way.
I will go to the conferences this year to further my career, to reactivate my brain cells, to make some connections, to better myself and to let my husband have some alone time with our girls. He is just as capable and a lot more patient than me and a better cook and a whole lot more fun. I am going to kick my blog up a notch and yes, to meet some of the wonderful women who I have been friends with for years online. You know, the women who sent my children books to help them through the loss of their beloved dog, the women who cried with me and sent me their condolences when I miscarried last May, the same women who have helped me to learn and grow as a mother and a writer, in my life and in my career; my friends. Is it so wrong that I look forward to seeing them while attending a conference for my work?
I don’t think it’s an excuse to act like an asshole, get drunk and pretend I am single but I also don’t think that I should be punished for choosing to have a family. Why should I be a shut in and not be able to have a career and be with me kids too? Motherhood is not a prison sentence and we are not being punished, we are not on lock down so if we can afford it and our husbands are okay with it, what’s the fucking problem with women ( who happen to have children) attending conferences to better themselves and their careers? I’m sick of these self-imposed guilt trips we adhere to and I am especially sickened when another woman is the chauvinist pig by whose pen the blow is delivered.
The writer of the piece Katherine Rosman, well, I wonder if she’s ever spent any actual time at home with children? My guess is that only a person who has never spent years loving a child and giving their everything to keep them safe and alive and thriving could speak about moms going to blogging conferences or conventions of any sort with such disdain. Dad’s go to conferences and business trips and yes, even guys trips and that is perfectly acceptable but the moment a woman does the same thing, it must be under the guise of some convoluted excuse to escape her family.
Shame on you Ms. Rosman for throwing your sex under the bus for a headline. You receive a well-deserved throat punch. I hope it was worth it to mock moms and make them feel like failures for being human.
What do you think of moms attending conferences and conventions? Are they JUST an excuse to get away from their families and life or are they actually trying to learn something, grow themselves, become better? What do you think of “Mommy Business Trips”?

Photo: WSJ
2013/04/25
Westboro Baptist Church Plans to Protest Funerals of Boston Marathon Bombing~ Throat Punch Thursday
The Westboro Baptist Church has, not surprisingly earned this week’s Throat Punch. On Monday, shortly after the explosions in Boston when death and mayhem were permeating the atmosphere as victims were still fighting for their lives, Westboro Baptist Church vowed to protest the funerals of those who were killed in the bombings at the Boston Marathon. I’m not worried, I am sure that the good samaritans of Boston will form a human wall of protection just like they did for the Newtown Funerals. (more…)
2013/04/18
Horrifying Boston Marathon Bombing Kills Two,including an 8-year-old Boy
This Patriot’s Day the 117th Boston Marathon was bombed near the finish line. Today at 2:50 pm EST, 2 explosions went off 5- 15 seconds apart on the crowded streets in front or in the Marathon Sports Running center near the intersection of Boylston and Exeter Street leaving 23 injured and 2 dead, one an 8-year-old child, so far. The explosions happened 100- 150 yards apart. Most injured appear to be spectators. There were some 500,000 happy unsuspecting spectators waiting to cheer on their loved ones at the finish line. The 26,000 runners were running in honor of the Newton victims with a flag with 26 stars at the finish line. According to authorities, there was a third explosion at the JFK library. They are calling this an ongoing event and advising all Bostonians to stay at home and not to congregate in large crowds. I am shocked and horrified. (more…)
2013/04/15