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The TRUTH About Motherhood

Category: Girl Mom

  • Wanted~ A little Extra Vitamin D

    This week is “Spring Break” for us. Why in quotes you ask? Well, it just didn’t feel right without them seeing a it has been in the 40’s and I have been running even more than usual.Spring Break for the girls means a complete and total upset in my routine. Don’t get me wrong, I love nothing more than hanging out with my girls and bonus, the Big Guy even has a few days off this week. Double Score.

    There’s been staying up late, waking up late (7:30 vs. 6 am), sugary foods, shopping with Grandma,movies, visiting the sites and a general breakdown of all boundaries.The piece de resistance? The Big Guy decided that he wanted to break the new Cooper in and take a long drive to anywhere….Savannah.Of course, he made this family vacation plan a week before it was actually supposed to happen. Everybody had the same idea…to head for warmer weather, but they had the good sense to make their reservations and plans weeks in advance.Not us. We like to buck the system. System, we don’t need no stinking system.I was all excited to walk around Forsyth park and eat at Paula Deans restaurant, not to mention take in some vitamin D. But none of that’s happening now because our only option was the airport hotel. And we collectively decided after driving 14 hours in a COOPER and knowing we’d have to turn around in 2 days to drive 14 more hours to stay in an airport hotel , somehow it all just lost its pizazz.

    Needless to say, we’re going to another destination, which I’ll post about when we get back but it’s gotten me thinking about all the places I wish I was going.Damn you day dreaming! I like to imagine that I am being whisked off to Paris, where I could be surrounded by culture, art and lovely French accents.Or perhaps a family trip to Aruba,where the water is bluer than my daughter’s eyes and there is a plethora of vitamin D for my entire family. San Francisco where the steep streets are lined with pastel houses and trolley cars. New Orleans, where my hair frizzes up into an afro but I’m so drunk on Cafe Du Monde beignets and hurricanes that I don’t even care. Or perhaps, lounging on the beach in Cape Cod while the smell of fresh lobster wafts through the air co-mingling with the smell of sea salt. I can imagine a lazy day walking in the sand and surf in Key West, while Jimmy Buffet songs feel in the gaps within my mind. The smell of coconut scented tanning lotion and the warm sun shining on my face, make me happy. So many wonderful places to travel to with my family, so little time.

    For now, I’ll be using my imagination and dreaming of warmer weather.Tomorrow, we’ll be on our way to somewhere to spend family time having fun with our girls. After all is said and done, warm weather is nice but time together, no matter where you are at, is what it’s all about. Of course, it can only be made better by a little extra vitamin D.

    So, if you see a little gun metal grey Cooper whizzing through your town full of giants..that would be us. Honk! Where is your dream family vacation?

  • The Clothing Crisis of 2010

    Remember the good old days when you were trying to change your baby who was, in fact a cruiser or even walking but not quite potty trained, and it was like an episode of the WWF?( or more like WTF, if you were me) Every single time you’d try to diaper them,they would flip over ,quick as lightening, and try to escape, usually before you had gotten the chance to fasten the damn diaper. It was like some crazy game they liked to play and they ALWAYS won. You were left with a naked baby running crawling free and an overwhelming feeling of frustration. Oh, the frustration.Finally, you’d wrangle them back to the ground and in split second put the diaper on.It was like a rodeo event.Then they would gleefully, smirking crawl of into the sunset.You may have thought you won the battle, but really, who was crawling away smiling and who was annoyed? Think about it.

    OR the days of trying to fix your hair as you ran away and I had to run right along with you to get those dang ponytails and barette into your hair!Anyways, that battle was cake compared to the battle I am facing with my now 5 year old..every single morning before school, every single time she changes out of her uniform, every single time she gets ready for bed!EVERY.SINGLE.TIME! We argue about what she is going to wear.Have I mentioned she goes to private school and wears a uniform? You would assume that would eliminate some of my headache, right? You would be wrong.Completely wrong!

    No way, she still finds a way to argue. Different skirt.Wrong shoes.Knee socks,Short socks. Blue socks. White socks.Corduroy skirt.Pleated skirt.Long sleeve shirt. Navy shirt. White shirt. Baby blue polo.Button up.Navy sweater. Navy sweater with hoodie.Gym shoes. Brown shoes. Mary Janes.Fancier headband. Hair down.Braids. No ponytail.Ponytail.Not high enough! It is like this every single morning and it is driving me insane.Completely out of my mind! It’s way worse than that cute little adorable flipping WWF move she did when she was 10 months old.Oh, how I miss the days when that was the most sass she gave me.

    I’m beginning to wonder if hormones don’t kick in around the age of 4. I know that we all assumed it was at puberty but I’m pretty sure my girl is having mood swings now.Damn,I even go the organic route to avoid all the extra hormones specifically to avoid the early onset of hormone influx.Jokes on me!Guess all that $9 milk was a waste of money.Of course, I will continue to buy it for the risk that it could be worse if she were drinking the hormone laden milk.I ‘ll just wait for the days when I look back on these days and long for them.For now, how I miss my little naked WWF wrestler.Wasn’t that just yesterday?

    Oh, how I could go for some flip flopping baby running naked and free!Don’t blink these moments are fleeing and I am going to stop and soak them all in.Even the clothing crisis of 2010, for all its worth! Happy Mothering!

  • Ballerinas behaving Badly

    Today, Bella came out of ballet very upset that one of the little girls in the class was ignoring her.Apparently, there was an incident a couple weeks ago when Bella ( being that she is 5) told the little girl, “You are my best friend” to which the little girl responded, ” NO, I’m not your best friend. So and so is my best friend!”  And another incident previous to that one where Bella brought her friend on bring a friend day and wanted to sit by her, this other little girl sat between them and basically was  friendly to Bella’s friend but excluded Bella. Bella was very upset that day, as well. Friendship has been a big theme lately at our household. I think it has a lot to do with being new to this entire kindergarten situation. It’s like everything revolves around who your friends are…wow, sounds a lot like high school.

    Anyways, I’ve always been a big advocate of the “to have a good friend, you’ve got to be a good friend” mantra.Hell, you’ve all heard me preach it…time and time again. To an extent, I do believe that. Well, I certainly believe it…if they are in fact your friend. Now, it has recently come to light that there seems to be, what I can only classify as “mean girls” in the elementary girl set. I can’t even believe I am saying this because it sounds so freaking ridiculous. But believe me you, I’m finding this all out the hard way. Not so much the boys, but it seems girls learn very early on about this competition amongst one another. I for one am an advocate of sisterhood and that has been what I have been trying to instill with all this To have a good friend, you’ve got to be a good friend  business.

    But what do you do,when your child is heeding your advice and giving and giving some more when the other child is just taking and even worse..rejecting. I want my daughters to give people chances and not judge them by first impressions, but its hard to teach this when my girls are the only ones adhering to these rules. There’s only so many times I can watch my child, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, approach another child only to have the other child ignore or reject my child. I’m not going to lie. It pisses me off. I try to teach my girls to be nice, respectful and giving in their relationships and I am watching it being met with unresponsiveness or insincere responses. I don’t necessarily think that these parents aren’t teaching their kids how to behave appropriately. I just think that I am around a lot more and so by being there, my girls follow the rules and it also gives me the opportunity to see the other children sometimes ( some more than others) behaving badly.

    Today, I had enough. I had enough of Bella getting upset. I had enough of her feeling rejected. I had enough of this other little girl ignoring her hellos and goodbyes. I had enough of this little girls smart ass comments. She actually told my daughter, “I’m better than you because I am older and can dance better!” WTF? She is older. But my daughter is younger…and was placed at the same level. You do the math. This little girl used to be her friend. We moved away. Moved back. And the kid has metamorphosed into a full on raging mean girl. I know, how awful do I sound referring to a 6 year old as a raging anything? I’m sure there is a special place in hell for me…but I’m also pretty sure that kid is going to be there right with me.

    So, I took my little girl’s sweet little tear stained face into my hands and I told her “Forget about her! You don’t need friends like that.” To which Bella responded, “Yeah, because she is mean and stupid and she won’t let the other girls play with me.” Me: ” Bella we don’t call people stupid (even if they are). When you see her if she says hi, say hi back, If she doesn’t, just act like you don’t care!” Am I wrong? I can’t keep telling my little girl to turn the other cheek when every which way she turns, this little girl is metaphorically slapping her in the face…and harder each time. I don’t know what is motivating this behavior.I don’t honestly care. I just refuse to teach my kid to be a doormat to others. Maybe I should teach my girls the 3 strikes you’re out rule? That gives people an ample amount of time to redeem themselves, right? Of course, even under those circumstances this mouthy little girl would still be left in the OUT pile.Happy Mothering! Does this ever get any easier?

  • Sisterly Love; Absense makes the Wee Hearts grow Fonder

    Bella & Gabs @ first day of Kindergarten pick up! Awwww!

    It seems for the wee ones, absence does make the heart grow fonder. My girls are 2 years apart and they are best friends and enemies in any given 24 hour period. They seriously will be hugging and kissing on one another in one moment and in the next telling me how they wish they didn’t have the other. That was until Kindergarten. Oh blessed Kindergarten, that which has caused my girls to absolutely adore and fawn over one another. Every morning it is big strong hugs and kisses and when we pick our Bella up at half day, Gabs runs to her, Bella grabs her little sister, and picks her up in the most adorable pint sized embrace I’ve ever witnessed.I live for this moment. It makes me a little teary eyed. It may be one of the best things to happen to their relationship. They may come out as best friends and put this ” I wish I never had a sister” nonsense aside for good. A Mommy can hope.

    OMG, Seriously, does it get any more precious than this? To ME, it does not!

    If you are a Mommy Blogger and proud to be so please feel free to snag the new Proud Mommy Blogger Badge for your own blog! The HTML for it is on my right hand side bar! Happy Mothering!

  • My Cup Runneth Over

    As I look around my house, I see tiny shoes and tiny socks scattered all about. There is a plethora of hand made gifts, drawings of my girls and myself magnetized to my over sized fridge. It makes me smile to see what my life has become. It may be hard at times to get through the day to day craziness but when little bodies fill my lap, or little hands touch my face before giving me a wet goodnight kiss, when tiny voices lift up their love to my heart..these are the moments of extreme bliss. This is the reward for all of the time spent worrying about my children, our lives, the next big thing, missing my life before my children. In perspective, there is nothing better than being the Mommy to my girls. I don’t even remember my life before my girls blessed it. It seems like a faded, hazy dream that wasn’t that impressive and soon forgotten. I’m not saying it wasn’t good, I’m just saying it is much better with my husband and girls in it.
    I have my days when it all feels overwhelming and I long for the days of me time and free time. I long for lazy Sundays squandered in bed, late night, uninterrupted talks with my husband , coming and going as I please. I do sometimes but I really think I am remembering with rose colored glasses. If I think really hard, I remember being bored a lot of the time. If I really think about it, before my husband and children, there was a hole in my life..a large, gaping, life swallowing void. That sounds so 1950’s doesn’t it? I don’t really care if it doesn’t sound cool. I care that when I really think about my life in its entirety, I am exactly where I always wanted to be. I am home. I am blessed with greatness; my cup runneth over.

  • Slipping through my Fingers~It won’t be like this for long

    Slipping through my fingers~ It won’t be like this for long. I know it seems like I have been dwelling on this topic lately but its just been that kind of a week. My little girls seem to be growing up at lightening speed this summer and, quite honestly, its breaking my heart a little bit. Where did my chubby little newborns crying for me to breastfeed them in the middle of the night go? I may have been terminally exhausted but it was a blissful exhaustion. I wore my exhaustion proudly as some sort of badge, screaming to the world, I am A Mommy! I am AWESOME!

    Slipping through my Fingers

    It’s true there is a feeling of entitlement that comes with giving birth. Nothing feels quite like it. Sure, I complained about having no sleep, and was constantly questioning the Gods why she never stopped crying. But secretly,(shhhh) I really didn’t mind at all. Much like  I never really minded the unplanned co-sleeping, kissing booboos, or being the only person who could make their world right again. The same way I never minded having to lay down and cuddle them to get them to sleep, or have a lost lovey fed exed in from Grandma ChaCha because my toddler was inconsolable nor did I mind the tears they shed when I left them for the first time with someone else because ,secretly, I loved it all!I love being their everything even if it is a drag sometimes.
    It seemed a lifetime before my little babies were capable of doing the simplest of tasks. Then ,it was like I looked away for a moment and suddenly , they were capable. Every milestone filled us with elation and pride. That first word couldn’t come fast enough; hearing their voices for the first time was like hearing the voice of God. Then quickly came rolling over, crawling, cruising, walking, etc..it all happened so fast it was like every accomplishment was hurled at me and knocked me onto my ass to sit helplessly and be witness to it all. The thing that no one ever tells you is that with every single new accomplishment, new worries ensue. Of course I wanted them to be more independent. But with each  iota of independence they gained, I had to relinquish a little bit of my heart. I am so proud to be the Mommy of such bright and independent little girls, but the pride is short lived and quickly  heartache takes its place, as I realize soon ….they won’t need me at all!
    I can hardly believe how fast these past 5 years have passed and how much my life has changed from having my girls. Having them has certainly given me a greater purpose and increased my quality of life exponentially, in most regards. I can barely stand the thought that one day, in the not so distant future, I won’t be able to see them every day, and worse, they won’t mind.Why doesn’t anyone tell us about this before we get pregnant. The letting go has got to be the hardest part of Motherhood. I used to think they couldn’t live without me, but really, it’s me who will have difficulty surviving without seeing them every day. How do you survive when your heart has left your body? How do you function? They are like oxygen to my soul.Not in some creepy,I’m going to lock them in the basement until they are 40 type of way, I just mean how can you love someone so much and be expected to exist without them in your life at full capacity?
    These precious moments that we have the privilege of being part of in our children’s lives pass by far too quickly.My rational self knows this is how this relationship is supposed to play out; my heart, however, has major problems with this whole situation and I am not afraid tell you, I think it is is trying to organize a coup on my good sense.This makes me reexamine my relationship with my own Mother. One day it will be me waiting patiently at home for my girls to call, and  its likely that the calls will never come soon or frequent enough. Soon, I will be the one wanting and needing their attention. Sorry, Mom! Hey, karma..pay attention, none of this coming back around shit! I said I was sorry! Mom already has you working in cahoots with her to give me ” a couple little girls that act just like you (me)!” So, karma, lets stop all the craziness. I don’t want what I gave , I want more from my relationship with my own girls!
    I just hope the Mother /Daughter relationship with my girls grows into friendship as they grow up.I want to be a woman who they look up to , want to emulate, and spend time with because of the kind of woman I am not just because they have to because I gave birth to them. I want them to come to me for advice and honesty and value my opinion. This is something that I have to work at now, because it won’t be like this for long.
    But for now, I am going to cherish every single moment of co-sleeping snuggling and random “I LOVE YOU”s that I can get my hands on!

    I had to share this video because, as some of you know, this is the song that my Bella looked me in the eyes and said ,”Mommy, this is me and your song!” She was dead serious and I was stopped dead in my tracks and brought to tears; as I am every single time I hear this damn song!I’m telling you, these girls of mine…they have got to stop growing up so fast!

     

  • All the Single Ladies…is there an adult in the house?

    Like everyone else, I came across this video and was a little shocked, as I have little girls myself.

    I realize there are lots of little girls out there dancing to this song, my girls included. It has a rockin beat. The controversy is because of how these little girls are dancing to this song. I think the gyrating coupled with the outfits (OMG those outfits are something) has sent the country into an outrage. I agree that it may not be appropriate but who is at fault? Not the children. They are little girls dancing their little asses off and having a blast doing it.The person responsible is the coach/dance instructor who thought these outfits and dance moves were a good combo for 7-9 year olds. This world is full of enough perverts do we really need to give them an internet virus to catch hold of and run with? I just hate that theses little girls are now made to feel like they are dirty and have done something wrong. My God, its made the  National News . The news is making a big stink that the girls are too young to be so sexy. “So sexy”? Is there any amount of sexy that is alright for that age group? Come on people, lets place blame where it belongs… the coach/instructor/choreographer. I know the parents are being reprimanded for poor choices but let’s be realistic. Sure, they are at fault for allowing it to come to fruition on a stage in front of national media but have you ever had a child in a dance class/ organized activity? Its not like the instructor actually comes out and takes a vote from the parents. They are not particularly keen on having to run everything past the parents. Isn’t that why we pay them the big bucks and entrust our children to them? If you are like me, you insert yourself into the situation somehow via volunteering and such. We have to know what is going on with our children. This is ridiculous.What about the WOD? I mean wasn’t this routine ran passed them in the first place? Even on paper, this would have looked like a train wreck from a mile away. God knows these little girls didn’t think of this routine as being sexualized? They are proud to be dancing and getting all the applause. Its fun to dance that  hard. My little girls saw this video( they walked in when it was on the news) and said Gabs:”Wow! They can really dance!”, Bella: “To me..those girls are amazing to be able to do that!” My girls didn’t notice the raunchy costumes or know that the moves were actually air fornification. Maybe we should blame that same media that is vilifying these parents and children  because they are the same ones who wrote “I can’t really recommend this movie for adults or anyone over the age of 8 or 9. However, if you do have children that age or younger, you can’t go wrong with this movie.https://abclocal.go.com/wjrt/story?section=resources/movies&id;=7195823”. Hmmm! Did you see the Chipettes version of All the Single Ladies? Maybe that’s why these girls were so easily convinced that this was a good choice to perform to. Seriously, is there an adult in the house? Someone in charge who knows better ?  My real concern is for those little girls’ backs…I was seriously afraid one of them was going to throw their little backs out from dancing so hard. You go girls!Happy Mothering!
    DISCLAIMER; I DO NOT APPROVE OF THIS ROUTINE AT ALL. I JUST WISH THOSE POOR LITTLE GIRLS WEREN’T FODDER FOR A MEDIA BLITZ. I THINK ALL ADULTS INVOLVED WITH THIS EXHIBITION FROM START TO FINISH SHOULD BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE!

  • Oh Cinderella…

                                               ( I think the picture speaks for itself!)

    Believe it or not my 5 year old, when she wants to, can be an exceptional help. Normally, I am in full on crazy “gotta get it done” mode and just whiz past her when she is offering to help. I know there are lessons to be learned in letting her help but sometimes the mess I get in return is just not worth it to me. I know, awful , awful woman I am. But today, I let my little Cinderella help. She was all into rinsing the dishes until she realized it was kinda gross and not really as much fun as she had apparently previously thought. Right in the middle of all the excitement, Bella: “Umm, Mom! I don’t really care for this!” Me:” Really? Cause it’s my favorite thing to do.” Bella (completely vexed)”REALLY?” Me: “No, not really. Sometimes, in life, we have to do things we don’t like because we are supposed to or have to.” Bella: “Yeah, well , I don’t like that rule!” (Me neither baby, me neither.) Look at that, I did some completely accidental good mothering…”Go Debi Truthful Mommy, its your Birthday!!” Now,  if I could just convince her little sister that its so much fun to put away laundry!

     
    Really don’t know why Bella was so upset, it wasn’t like she had to do dishes in a third world country…like I had the privilege of doing on vacation to visit family in Mexico when I was a kid.This is not a picture of me, but it was how I had to do the dishes when we went to Mexico. Bella has it easy! Maybe I should show her the picture , when she’s a little older to put things into perspective! Happy Mothering!

  • These are the moments…

    So, as most of you know, my feisty 5 year old, Bella is really trying hard to give up the nap, to my utter dismay. Everyday, I try to put her down for a nap and 3 out of 5 times, mission NAP fails. Today, not unlike yesterday, she laid there for about 1/2 hour then comes out to inform me that “my brain just won’t shut off” and therefore, she can not sleep. She’s wearing me down, I’m about to give in but there is a stipulation. In order to bypass napping, one must promise and abide by the secondary rule by which all non-nappers must be tidy in their beds by 6:30 sharp..hopefully, to be asleep by 7:30 . Dream  big, yes I do. Anyways, knowing Bella, she NEVER abides by this rule. To be honest, short of taking away every single thing that she loves…I have no idea of how to make this whole bedtime ritual go down as planned. As of late, she has decided to put herself to sleep by drawing herself into exhaustion, much the way I like to read or write myself into exhaustion at bedtime (ergo the 2 am postings!)  . I know, now that Ive actually put this in type..you’d think I could find a more exciting , if not creative way to work myself into exhaustion at bedtime. But alas, my husband does work out  of town and off site 5 of the 7 days of the week.But my Bella, she likes to draw herself into sleepiness. I wondered why she wanted the window blinds left half open. This has happened a couple times. Today, however, she really must of had to exhaust herself. Once I no longer hear any stirrings from the bedroom, after her 3rd trip out to ask for water, tv, or a snack, I creep into her my bedroom and find my little Picasso lying exhausted and sound asleep surrounded by a fury of drawings. Be patient, I will share them with you. But before I do, I came in about 2 hours later and she was waking…half asleep and half awake..Bella: “Mommy, did you see the pictures I drew for you, Daddy, and Grandpa Chacha, Grandpa Denny, Grandma Suzy Q and Grandpa Manny?” Me;”Yes, I did . They are amazing! Go back to sleep.” I really did think they were amazing but I also thought they were all for me:) I’ll share..if I have to.

    Must be for Daddy..notice the big “D” on it? Looks like Daddy, look at those long legs!

    “M” for Mommy! Oooh, thanks Bella! I wonder if that’s really how she sees me? Yikes, talk about a bad hair day?LOL

    Look its all of her “parents” Top L-R, Grandpa Manny (curls), Grandma Suzy Q (shorty) Me (crazy hair). Bottom L-R, Grandpa Denny (long legs and losing hair), Grandma ChaCha (long legs and curly hair), Daddy (Long legs and crazy eyes). I love the way she put a “G” on all the Grandparents pictures, and a “M” on mine, & a “D” on Daddy. I think she is absolutely brilliant. These are the moments that make it all worth while.
    Speaking of which, Gabs, in her infinite sweetness, sitting in my lap at bedtime takes her right arm and wraps it around the back of my neck and pulls me down, giggles and says, “ME LOVE YOU MOMMY!” and this is a priceless moment that I will never forget. Love my girls!

  • Memories;Priceless

    Just going through old photos, my girls are sleeping, and it just reminds me that taking time to enjoy my girls is what really makes me happy. They will only be this age for a little while, I know that. I need to remember that. This is my reminder. They are so amazing and I am so lucky and blessed to be their Mommy! They are why I am who I am. They have made my life everything, I never knew, I always wanted. Happiness truly is the smile of your child, the sound of their laughter,  their cuddles and snuggles.It is priceless.