Bully For You!

Bully For You!

by Deborah Cruz

Bully~ bul·ly/ˈbo͝olē/ ( according to Merriam-Webster)

Noun: A person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate those who are weaker.

Verb: Use superior strength (in size or numbers) or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.

bully,bullying, mean girls, children, women, momsBully, YOU SUCK!

I’ve written about this before. I may have not have had the misfortune of being the victim of a bully, but I know many people who have. My daughter was bullied by someone who was once her friend. This only makes me despise bullying and those who bully even more so. It saddens me when I see children and teens doing it. I instantly turn into a bit of a mama bear. I always root for the underdog. But when it is adults perpetrating this heinous behaviour, Mommies even, I am completely sickened. Bullying is a foreign concept to me. I think it is the work of those who are weak of mind, body and soul. They use bullying and demeaning others as a vehicle to  mask their own insecurities and shortcomings.  Those who are secure in their place in the world, who they are and their talents don’t waste time degrading and berating others. Why? That is a weak person’s way of dealing with what they obviously can not handle in their own life. They strike out at those who they are envious or threatened by.

bully, bullying, women, mean girlsSticks and Stones may Break my Bones, But a Bully can kiss my …

When I see children bullying one another, I blame the parents. When I see parents bullying their children, I see them for the weak, unhinged person they are ( this is by far the worst kind of bully there is in my book). When I see a grown woman snubbing another woman, the very person she should be finding sisterhood and support in, as sport or for entertainment…I want to smack some sense into her. I know we all have our opinions. I know not all people are one another’s cup of tea. I even understand envy. Do adults really need to behave like unparented children and make fun or shut out another person? I won’t allow my children to do it. I don’t do it. I won’t tolerate it. If I see you being unkind, unjust and just plain mean to someone, chances are that I will call you on your bullshit. You won’t hurt my feelings or make me cry ( as I’ve heard done to others that are too kind and gracious to reciprocate) but I can’t guarantee that I will walk away either. You mean girls have ruined a good time for the good girls for way too long. I’m sorry your daddy didn’t love you. I’m sorry you were picked on as a child. I’m sorry that  you have nothing else going for you but to be ridiculously superficial and arrogant. I’m sorry that you have started to believe all the smoke being blown up your ass by your minions. I’m sorry that you don’t have a personality and had to claw people’s eyes out to get them to notice you. I am sorry for all of this. I really , truly am sorry that you have such low self esteem that you need to make others feel small to make yourself feel big. But make no mistake, we are on to you.We know that you are a sad little clown that has no self confidence . How about a hug? Will that help?

I expect missteps in the behavior of children. They are still learning. It is our responsibility to show them the right way. We need to teach our children respect of individuality, tolerance of difference and love of self. But we have to be the example. Our children mimic our thoughts, words and actions. They see everything. By perpetuating bad behavior, eventually we will be the change that we don’t want to see in the world. How will you feel when your child bullies another child because they emulated Mommy’s behavior? Or worse, how will you feel when your child becomes the victim of a bully? You are not the only one out there. There is always one bigger and meaner waiting to inflict their torture. I guess the best way to go through life is to ask yourself, would I want someone to behave this way towards my child? I think you will find that inside you resides a Mama Bear too. Let’s stop this behavior and act like adults.

Bully Be Gone

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13 comments

Mrs. Jen B 2011/08/24 - 2:14 pm

Wow. Wooooow. I just saw another post like this today on Just.Be.Enough. about bullying as it pertains to bloggers, specifically what she saw at BlogHer. And you just touched on something I left in a comment – I’m sure these very women wouldn’t let their children treat other children that way, but they’ll turn around and do it to someone else.

With all this talk, those of us who didn’t attend BlogHer are dying to know just who was being an asshat. Or maybe it’s just me. But I doubt it…

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Truthful Mommy 2011/08/24 - 3:57 pm

I didn’t get to BlogHer this year either. I was supposed to be there but after hearing some of the horror stories,I’m a little glad I missed witnessing any mean girl action:)
THe post you read on Just Be Enough was written by the talented Tracy @Chimomwriter and her post and a conversation I had over the past weekend is what inspired this post. I get pretty fired up about people being mean to others jst for the sake of making someone feel small.
I can’t name names..it’s not my story to tell BUT rest assured they know who they are:)

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Alex | Perfecting Dad 2011/08/24 - 6:14 pm

I really like this post. Stand up in public. Very good message. Hard to argue for bullying so I’ll just say “I agree!”

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Truthful Mommy 2011/08/24 - 7:46 pm

Thank you. Though it would be very interesting to hear the argument that one could try to advocate for bullying:)

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The Drama Mama 2011/08/24 - 6:36 pm

I wish when I was growing up I had a best friend like you, willing to take on the bullies for me, so to speak.I’m glad there’s bloggers like you and The Mom Pledge out there to help people like me fight their bullies or at least stand up tall after an attack. have you heard about The Mom Pledge?

https://efloraross.com/

Now, I’m heading over to Just be Enough to see if I can lend some support in any way. Thank you for your passion.

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Truthful Mommy 2011/08/24 - 7:45 pm

Thank you and yes, I am actually one of the very first people that Elizabeth asked to join. We have been bloggy friends for a long time. She is amazing and she knows that I have always made it my mission to perpetuate sisterhood through motherhood. The Mom ledge is amazing. And as for Just.Be.Enough, I love that site. This post was actually inspired by a conversation that I just had with one of their contributing writers , Tracy @chimomwriter. It too is an amazing site.

As for the bullies, I am not one to tolerable that sort of behavior.They need to know that they can not continue with this heinous behavior. We will not stand for it. In refusing to tolerate or react to their behavior we take away their power.They can’t hurt us if we don’t care what they think. Until then,I;m always sticking up for the underdog!

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ChiMomWriter 2011/08/24 - 9:25 pm

I love you, Deb. I love how you tell it like it is. 😉

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Truthful Mommy 2011/08/24 - 9:38 pm

I just thought some people needed to be put on notice that they can’t get away with behaving badly. Mean people suck, especially when it’s intentional, unwarranted and malicious! Bullies can bite me!
P.S. I heart you too!

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Elizabeth Flora Ross 2011/08/24 - 9:58 pm

You rock, lady!

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