Bully~ bul·ly/ˈbo͝olē/ ( according to Merriam-Webster)
Verb: Use superior strength (in size or numbers) or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.
I’ve written about this before. I may have not have had the misfortune of being the victim of a bully, but I know many people who have. My daughter was bullied by someone who was once her friend. This only makes me despise bullying and those who bully even more so. It saddens me when I see children and teens doing it. I instantly turn into a bit of a mama bear. I always root for the underdog. But when it is adults perpetrating this heinous behaviour, Mommies even, I am completely sickened. Bullying is a foreign concept to me. I think it is the work of those who are weak of mind, body and soul. They use bullying and demeaning others as a vehicle to mask their own insecurities and shortcomings. Those who are secure in their place in the world, who they are and their talents don’t waste time degrading and berating others. Why? That is a weak person’s way of dealing with what they obviously can not handle in their own life. They strike out at those who they are envious or threatened by.
When I see children bullying one another, I blame the parents. When I see parents bullying their children, I see them for the weak, unhinged person they are ( this is by far the worst kind of bully there is in my book). When I see a grown woman snubbing another woman, the very person she should be finding sisterhood and support in, as sport or for entertainment…I want to smack some sense into her. I know we all have our opinions. I know not all people are one another’s cup of tea. I even understand envy. Do adults really need to behave like unparented children and make fun or shut out another person? I won’t allow my children to do it. I don’t do it. I won’t tolerate it. If I see you being unkind, unjust and just plain mean to someone, chances are that I will call you on your bullshit. You won’t hurt my feelings or make me cry ( as I’ve heard done to others that are too kind and gracious to reciprocate) but I can’t guarantee that I will walk away either. You mean girls have ruined a good time for the good girls for way too long. I’m sorry your daddy didn’t love you. I’m sorry you were picked on as a child. I’m sorry that you have nothing else going for you but to be ridiculously superficial and arrogant. I’m sorry that you have started to believe all the smoke being blown up your ass by your minions. I’m sorry that you don’t have a personality and had to claw people’s eyes out to get them to notice you. I am sorry for all of this. I really , truly am sorry that you have such low self esteem that you need to make others feel small to make yourself feel big. But make no mistake, we are on to you.We know that you are a sad little clown that has no self confidence . How about a hug? Will that help?
I expect missteps in the behavior of children. They are still learning. It is our responsibility to show them the right way. We need to teach our children respect of individuality, tolerance of difference and love of self. But we have to be the example. Our children mimic our thoughts, words and actions. They see everything. By perpetuating bad behavior, eventually we will be the change that we don’t want to see in the world. How will you feel when your child bullies another child because they emulated Mommy’s behavior? Or worse, how will you feel when your child becomes the victim of a bully? You are not the only one out there. There is always one bigger and meaner waiting to inflict their torture. I guess the best way to go through life is to ask yourself, would I want someone to behave this way towards my child? I think you will find that inside you resides a Mama Bear too. Let’s stop this behavior and act like adults.