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Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 24 – More about choices

by Deborah Cruz

Yesterday’s Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 23 – Give ’em choices
How did that work for you? It worked ok for me. As long as I keep the choices to 2 choices, 2 choices that I am willing to accept. Of course, I did have a backfire on me yesterday. Gabs  was being a little out of sorts and I told her that she could either behave and go to her first day of ballet today or continue with the craziness and not. She chose the craziness. Now, I have had to spend near 12 hours convincing her of fantastic ballet will be. I’m going to chalk that up to a major fail! I will have to choose my choices more wisely next time.

Today’s Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 24 – More about choices

Day 24: They’re not “good” or “bad;” but their choices are
From the very beginning, we’ve always told our kids “good choice!” or “that wasn’t a great choice” to instill in them that they are, in fact, awesome, wonderful fabulous people. None of this “good boy” “bad boy” crap.We don’t want our children associating whom they are solely by the choices they make. No parent should ever tell their little child they are bad. These words have a tendency to stick with a child. Have you heard of a self fulfilling prophecy? Kids who are called bad, sometimes believe it and become it.Think on that for a moment.

However, it is their choices that can be “good” or “bad.”
When you think about it, this makes a whole lot of sense, and it’s much easier to explain to your kids, particularly when you’ve put their little butt in time out.
Some people use “right” and “wrong” choices, and I imagine there are plenty of variations, but suffice it to say that this works well in facilitating a discussion about making choices, which I think is something important to do now when you have major influence over those choices and the consequences that come with them. I think the best thing to do is to use non human adjectives to describe the choice. I prefer the “right” or “wrong” wording, versus the “good” “Bad” just because it is too easy for the kids to brand themselves with those words. What do you use when relaying to your child what kind of choice they have made? Let me know how it goes!
What do you think?

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