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Be A Better Me (You) Challenge -Day 15 ~ Be honest with yourself

by Deborah Cruz

Yesterday’s Be A Better Me (You) Challenge- Day 14 ~ Pursue your Passions with fervor
what can I say. I actually did make a concerted effort to get something accomplished yesterday. I got something written down and now I just have to get it edited today and submitted. It’s really an on going process for me. In order to pursue, I have to keep at it. It’s not a one day did and quit it sort of challenge.It’s a challenge that you have to wake up to everyday and make your bitch! You can’t accomplish anything if you don’t try. You never know where your hard work will lead but you know for certain if you don’t try, you absolutely won’t accomplish anything!

Today’s Be A Better Me (You) Challenge- Day 15 ~Be Honest with yourself
That’s right, I said it. Be honest with yourself. Sometimes we tell ourselves lies for so long that we start to believe the hype. Remember when you were “you” just “you” and not held to the standard of all the  titles you have since taken on? You had an idea of who and what you wanted your life to look like, right? I know I did. Mine doesn’t look much at all like what I had planned, with the exception of the girls and the Big Guy. In my plan, I had the fab career and then the husband and kids came naturally..later. There was actually no plan for the Big Guy and girls. I just knew it would happen. But, life had other plans and I met the boy before the career happened. I was head over heels and life happened. My career got pushed to the side because of moves for his job and then children. I kept telling myself that I would get back to law school. I kept telling everyone that. In the mean time, I went to grad school. While I was planning to get my derailed life back onto its planned tracks, I did a lot of accidental living. But I kept telling myself that I would get back to law school. Even though, as life was happening I was reassessing and I knew by about 3 years into the marriage that I didn’t want to do law school anymore. I actually had decided that I wanted to be a SAHM until my girls were older. The career I had wanted would have included a lot of traveling and long hours and I knew , in my  heart, that I wanted more time with my family.But I refused to let go of the plan because if I did, to me, that was admitting defeat. It was a loss of control and anyone who knows me, knows I am a control freak. I still toy with the idea of law school but why? My passion lies elsewhere. It lies in taking pen to paper, it lies in the creases of my Gabi’s smile, the sound of my Bella’s laugh, it resides in the fact that I am loved unconditionally. I guess I hate to admit that I am just like all those Mom’s of the 1950’s who seemed to be defined by their home and their children. But I am not defined by the fact that I am a Mommy. It is just one facet of who I am. Right now, it just has to be the part of me that takes priority. That is the truth. They won’t always be little and I won’t always be home all day. But by acknowledging that I no longer want to go to law school, I am freeing myself to move on to my plans of becoming the person I really want to become. Some of what I wanted in my plan for life, I still want. I just need to remember what they are and go for it. The journey may have changed paths but the destination is the same; happiness and fulfillment.
What lies are you telling yourself? Maybe yours isn’t about a goal or career choice, maybe its a version of yourself that doesn’t exist anymore ,never will again, or never has. Maybe you are telling yourself if you had the perfect wardrobe, house, car, husband, children, body, face, hair, friends, etc things would be perfect. Is it holding you back? Set yourself free and embrace who you are and where you want to go from this point on. Living in the past may be preventing you from having a magical and memorable future filled with happiness and success.

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Mary Beth 2010/09/15 - 11:35 am

I am 53 years old. I have been married for 31 years. I have 2 sons. Andy(29 yrs) is married to Kelly and has a 1 year old Amelia. Matt(23 yrs)is single and lives 3 hours away. I tell you all of that to give you the background of where I am coming from. I was also a stay at home mom. There were of course the moments when I thought "Shouldn't I be doing something more?" Now from this perspective I know clearly the answer is No! There is nothing as important as loving your husband and raising your children. You have been given the incredible opportunity to help shape the lives of you children and teach them to love God, to love themselves, to care about others, the deference between right from wrong, and so very much more. Plus you have been given the opportunity to really enjoy their growing up years. The time really does fly by. I am so proud of how my sons have become men of character. And I feel unbelievably blessed to have had such a close relationship with them that continues on and on. Happy Mothering to you! Oh, and the day really does come for you to pursue whatever interests you have!

Robin 2010/09/15 - 1:51 pm

I think we sell ourselves on lots of things all of the time. I also think that our dreams can change. However, if we really want something the key is to focus like crazy on it. Put pictures up to remind yourself that you want it. Visualize yourself already succeeding at it. You can do, be, or have anything you want. And that is a great message to give your kids. They can do, be, or have anything they want, too!


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