Author

Deborah Cruz

Latina. Girl mom of 2. Married to my college sweetheart.Digital Storyteller. Lover of travel, food and fashion. Chicago girl. I write because it's how I process the world. I share because I want you to know that you're not alone. I drink Chai Lattes in the interim to survive it all.

Lifestyle

12 Tips To Help You Get Ready Fast Each Day

by Deborah Cruz 2020/11/05

written by Deborah Cruz

The sad truth is that time is a luxury that most of us don’t have these days. From the moment some ladies get up to the time they go to sleep, they must cram their waking hours with many tasks and activities.

You’re likely reading this article because you don’t have much time to do things every day. It doesn’t matter if you work long hours or have to juggle work and family life. Keep reading this article to learn about 12 ways that’ll help you get ready fast each day:

1. Get your outfit ready the night before

There’s no denying that one of the most time-consuming things that anyone has to do is spend time picking some clothing to wear in the morning. Unfortunately, choosing the right outfit sometimes mean being late for work or any other appointments!

That’s why it makes sense to pick what you’re going to wear before going to bed the previous night. It doesn’t sound very spontaneous, but it means you won’t have to rush around in the morning to get dressed.

2. Opt for a low-maintenance hairstyle

Does your hairstyling routine take a large chunk out of your morning ritual? If so, you should probably consider opting for a low-maintenance hairstyle. The good news is there are plenty of hairstyles out there that you’ll like yet won’t take a long time to prepare each morning.

One such example is the French bob. They are chin-length hairstyles that are both chic and elegant and take less than five minutes to prepare. Here’s how to style a French-girl bob in 3 easy steps!

3. Wake up 15 minutes earlier each morning

You might think to yourself that waking up 15 minutes earlier each morning is a bit pointless. After all: what extra things can you do in those 15 minutes? Well, it turns out there’s quite a lot of things you can do in that time.

For instance, you’ve got extra time to spend under the shower to ‘wake yourself up’ properly. Or if you’ve got kids, you could use that time to get their lunch boxes ready for school and not panic about leaving late to drop them off!

4. Prepare your lunch the evening before

Do you take in some home-cooked or prepared food for your lunchtime at work? If so, it can add to your stress levels, preparing your lunch in the morning before setting out your front door.

That’s why it makes better sense to prepare your lunch during the previous evening. In the morning, all you have to do is grab it from your refrigerator and take it to work with you! Plus, your food will stay cooler for longer if you don’t have a fridge at work.

5. Use an in-shower moisturizer

Ladies, if you use a moisturizer as part of your morning ritual each day, you need to start using a product that you can apply to your skin while you shower. Why? The answer is simple: to save time, of course!

That’s because the conventional approach involves drying yourself off, applying moisturizer, and then waiting for it to ‘sink in’ before getting dressed. There are plenty of hydrating moisturizers you can use in the shower.

6. Use one product for your eyes, cheeks, and lips

Some women use a variety of beauty products each morning. As you can imagine, having several products you need to apply means more time spent on your morning beauty routine. You would be better off cutting down on the products you use to save time.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you must sacrifice enhancing your look each day. There are time-saving products you can use that’ll achieve the same results that you want each morning. One example is to use a single product for your eyes, cheeks, and lips.

7. Don’t set your alarm next to your bed

One of the most dangerous things any woman can do is set their alarm on their phone or alarm clock next to their bed. You should make sure your alarm goes off far away from your bed, such as on a dressing table.

Why? You have to make yourself get up to turn off that ‘annoying’ alarm! And once you’re awake and on your feet, you can immediately begin your morning ritual.

So, why is it dangerous to have your alarm go off within arm’s length of your bed? You could quickly turn it off and doze back to sleep. Telling yourself that you’ve got an extra ten minutes in bed is never a good idea!

8. Invest in a programmable coffee machine

Are you the type of lady that needs a morning cup of coffee before the day can truly begin? If the answer’s yes, and you enjoy drinking filtered coffee, you must invest in a programmable coffee machine.

They don’t cost much more than standard coffee machines. But, they’ll offer you a whole heap of benefits. For instance, you’ll have one less thing to organize in the morning, as you’ve already prepared the coffee in the filter during the previous night.

Secondly, once you’ve had your shower and got dressed, you can instantly enjoy a hot, fresh cup of coffee before leaving your home. And thirdly, if you’re feeling incredibly sleepy, you can always have a second cup of coffee if you’ve got enough time!

9. Don’t “catch up” on things on your phone

Whether ladies like to admit it or not, they will often waste time catching up on things on their smartphones before leaving their homes. If that’s something you are guilty of doing, it’s time to stop it.

If you travel to work via public transport, you can always check your email or social media accounts en-route. Otherwise, wait until you get to work before you start doing stuff on your phone.

You might wish to put your phone on silent or airplane mode to avoid distracting notifications during your morning ritual.

10. Keep everything you need in one place

It doesn’t matter whether you travel light to work each morning or need to take a few different bags with you. What does matter is you keep everything you need in one place in your home.

You’ll save plenty of time doing that versus searching your home for the things you need. Plus, you won’t have to start your day in a panic or feeling stressed out before the day’s proceedings have even begun!

11. Avoid working during your morning commute

A surprising amount of women start working before they’ve even got to their workplaces! You might assume that you’re productive in an otherwise monotonous journey. However, the only thing that will happen is you’ll end up feeling stressed out and even anxious.

Instead, use the time in your journey to prepare for the day ahead mentally. And if your trip is a long one, you could always sneak in some extra sleep if you’ve had a late night.

12. Avoid watching TV

The thing about watching something on TV as you get ready to leave your home is that it’s distracting. And it can be so distracting that you might end up losing track of time and potentially leaving your home late!

Instead, listen to the radio or your favorite morning routine playlist. If you’re thinking of doing the latter, consider adding some upbeat, high-tempo tunes to make you feel energized and ready for anything the day will throw at you.

Good luck!

2020/11/05 0 comment

Vote like your life depends on it, vote, democrats, republicans, coronavirus

Politics

Why You Must Vote like Your Life Depends on It

by Deborah Cruz 2020/11/01

written by Deborah Cruz

I am completely befuddled at what is happening in America right now. How can we live in a country where our own common sense and intelligence is pushed aside to listen to what a politician says? Never mind, science and medicine. People are literally dying while we fight over semantics. Fun fact: Coronavirus is real and it doesn’t care if you’re a Democrat or Republican. This is why you must vote like your life depends on it.

As Americans, as human beings, why can’t we all get on the same page and agree that human life is more important than who’s a democrat and who’s a republican? Political parties are supposed to be chosen based upon the candidate whose political ideologies align closest to our own. Everyone has the right to choose for themselves who that is. But somethings are bigger than that, like human life.

Vote like your life depends on it

When I see someone in need, I help them. I don’t ask for credentials first. If someone is desperately in need of help, I don’t care what race, religion, sexual orientation or political party they belong to because that is extraneous information. None of that is relevant when I’m deciding whether or not to help someone in need. So why can’t we all agree that this pandemic needs to be controlled? More importantly, why can’t we all do our small part to stop the spread?

Coronavirus is real. We know this. It has killed 231,000 Americans to date. That’s not a hoax, that’s facts. Just ask the relatives of those who’ve lost their loved ones.

231,000 mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, sons and daughters of America dead.

All that is being asked of us, as conscientious Americans, is to social distance, wear masks when in public, stay home when sick and use common sense and yet, some still refuse. People have actually become combative to the point of protesting and refusing to comply with mask mandates. I’ve seen people not only refuse to wear masks but purposely cough at other people. Coronavirus is becoming a weapon of the willfully ignorant. People are brutally fighting and even murdering others over a mask.

READ ALSO: Why I Risked My Life to Vote

I get it, the President of the United States (who has access to the world’s best healthcare and an unlimited budget to get round the clock, top of the line treatment) said it wasn’t too bad. He even said, “Don’t be afraid of CoVid. Don’t let it dominate your life.” I’m glad he didn’t die. I’m happy it wasn’t too bad for him but even if I can accept that, you need to accept the fact that I have several friends who are now CoVid long haulers and I’ve lost family members. Either he’s extremely lucky, extremely well cared for or maybe just completely full of shit. His behavior is not only irresponsible but dangerous to all Americans. What exactly is the point of this continuous gaslighting of the American people?

Coronavirus isn’t a Democratic hoax. These people aren’t coming back after the election. They haven’t been sequestered on some remote tropical island virus and I’m pretty confident they haven’t gone into the Democratic party’s super-secret Coronavirus witness protection program. They are dead forever. There’s no reset button for them. Of course, they also didn’t have the same kind of treatment available to them as the president because they are regular people, like you and I.

Everything is opening back up, just in time for the election which happens to coincide with cold and flu season. Hospitals are full and overcapacity here in Indiana, yet, our mask mandate is scheduled to ends in a couple of weeks. Our high school is in Mode 2 but, when the quarter ends and the mask mandate ends, the plan is for the students to come back fully in person, Mode 1. The cases are constantly rising as are the number of kids quarantined at the school, but hey, let’s do like our president and let’s go against common sense, science and modern medicine and just do what the fuck we want to do.

I am at the point that I’m feeling like maybe I’m having some sort of mental break because how can this many people be this fucking ignorant? How can they believe a politician with an agenda over their own fucking eyeballs? It would be comical if it weren’t so frightening.

Vote like your life depends on it because it does. Either way, your way of life is about to change.

I’m a Democrat. I used to be a Republican (when I was in college). I’m also a devout Roman Catholic. My educational background is in political science, history, criminology and sociology. I learned about the branches of government, procedure and law. My politics and my religion may not always be on the same page 100% but you have to weigh the consequences of the many over the benefits of the few. That is free will and I believe that my God gave me free will, intelligence and the capacity to love all people.

My lifetime of religious studies has taught me to never judge others and to show compassion, empathy and love to others. I’m supposed to do for others as I would want them to do unto me and I know that no one human is of more value than any other so it is my social responsibility and Christian duty to do my part to put good into the world not spread hate and incite fear-mongering. I believe in truth and honesty.

Let’s say you really, truly, believe that Coronavirus is not a threat and maybe you’ll be one of the lucky ones who it doesn’t affect long-term or kill. Fine, you are entitled to your beliefs but why can’t you still wear a mask, just in case, if it makes others feel safe.

If you believe Coronavirus is real but you don’t like wearing a mask, surprise, none of us do but if you could save a life by wearing one, why wouldn’t you? You think it’s your “right” not to wear one, it’s not. Nowhere in the Constitution or the bible does it say you have the right to not wear a mask and intentionally (and maliciously) put others at risk. If we could all adhere to common sense and logic, listen to science and wear the masks, all of this could be controlled and we could go back to a more normal existence.

Right now, I feel like a prisoner in my own house because I have an underlying condition and I can’t count on everyone to do their part to keep me safe even though I do mine. More importantly, I have a president who is gaslighting those of us following the science. I feel like I’m living in an alternate reality.

I’m not here to push a candidate down your throat. All I ask, in any election but especially in this one, is that you please use your own judgment, common sense and intelligence. Your vote is more important than it has ever been.

Vote like your life depends on it because it does and so does your kids’.

2020/11/01 0 comment

Tech

Why WeChat is the Super App for Users and Marketers

by Deborah Cruz 2020/10/25

written by Deborah Cruz

With social media and apps, as with any product made for human beings, it is common knowledge that how each individual reacts to it depends on their own life experiences. This means that the best way to succeed with the people, targeted demographic, that you want to ingratiate yourself with, personally or in business, you need to be aware and anticipate the wants and needs of those individuals. For example, you’re not going to make any friends trying to convince someone who has no legs to buy Louboutins. Read the room, bruh (as my teen likes to remind everyone).

More than just knowing your audience, you need to understand them and be willing to be flexible to accommodate changing needs. This is the same in romantic and friend relationships. I guess the part where we care enough to meet the needs of others is what makes us human; it’s the social aspect that we crave and that’s exactly what makes social media apps so appealing to extroverts and introverts alike.

For example, Weixin (pronounced “way-shin”), better known as WeChat, is a popular Chinese multi-purpose social networking app developed in 2011 by Tencent, a Chinese social media company. Within 3 years, Weixin had more than 300 million active users in China, Southeast Asia, Europe and the United States. If you think TikTok is taking off, WeChat did it first.

WeChat is similar to WhatsApp in the United States. However, WeChat is way more comprehensive than WhatsApp allowing users to send messages, share news and pictures, access social media and even mobile payments via their cell phone. It really is an app for everything, a super app. You say, “they’ve got an app for that”, the app is WeChat. With those kinds of capabilities, it’s no wonder if has over 1 billion monthly users worldwide. It’s the closest competitor is the Weibo app, if just depends on what you’re using it for.

Aside from messaging and calling features, WeChat provides text messaging, one-to-many broadcasting, video conferencing, hold-to-talk voice messaging, video games, photo and video sharing and location sharing. Why don’t we all have WeChat? I, honestly, never heard of WeChat until I started binge-watching C-Dramas like it was my job this pandemic and I can testify that everybody in my C-Dramas uses WeChat, so much so that I’m getting FOMO from it.

Why is WeChat so successful when there are so many apps out there? Easy, WeChat is user friendly. It is the result of caring enough to get to know the audience and enhance the quality of their lives. The developers have made sure that the app is an asset that makes life easier, more streamlined and more convenient in a world where we are all busy, overworked and exhausted. It’s so good at being useful that it’s not extraneous, it is a necessity to many. It’s as vital as the cellphone itself to most.

WeChat knows that its key demographic is young, urban smartphone owners and specifically targets them by providing them an “all-in-one-platform” app.

It offers a wide range of functions from sending a baby photo to friends, getting news, text messaging, to finding a cab on the street. WeChat is more than a combination of Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat, and eBay. It rolls them all into one and makes those apps redundant. Why download 5 apps when you can do everything in one?

WeChat is easy to use. Everything about it from the interface to the functions are designed to be straightforward and easy to use. One feature that I love, that I use frequently on my phone, is voice messaging by just pushing 1 button, especially when you’re not in the mood to talk but you’re just too busy to type it all out. It’s the closest thing to talking to someone. If you know, you know.

WeChat also allows users to open almost everything within the app browser so you’re not constantly being rerouted to Chrome and a new tab. It’s easier, more aesthetically pleasing and less “noise” on your phone. WeChat provides so many capabilities for its users they don’t need to go anywhere else. It’s like having a really well matched and attentive partner, if all your needs are being met at home, why go out?

READ ALSO: The Last Bite a Love Story

This high rate of satisfaction keeps users in the app longer versus jumping in and out of various apps for separate functions. With all of the capabilities it has like the cab reservation function, Didi Taxi, allowing users to book taxis directly, Weixin pay features which eliminates the need to carry around your credit cards and cash and all the other social aspects, people can be highly independent and self-efficient. The best thing about WeChat is that it keeps changing to meet its user’s needs, continuously introducing new functions and features to keep up with the evolving and growing needs of its audience.

WeChat, Weixin, social media, super app, weibo

In Chinese culture, during the holidays, people give friends and family monetary gifts in red envelopes. A thoughtful feature WeChat introduced in January 2014, right before the Chinese New Year, was a Red Envelope “Qiang Hongbao” campaign.

It allowed WeChat users to link their bank account to their WeChat account and send or receive red envelopes virtually.
Just to keep things fun and exciting, Weixin allowed users to put a sum of cash in the Red Envelope and then distribute the money randomly among a group of recipients the user set up.
The user sets the amount of money, i.e. $100 among 6 friends and the app randomly sent each friend an envelope with a surprise amount, it could be $1 or it could be $99.
It was fun for the giver and receiver but more importantly, it encouraged people to use the app.
Nearly 5 million people participated in the Red Envelope campaign and sent out 20 million cash-filled red envelopes virtually.

By meeting their audience’s needs and wants, WeChat has made themselves indispensable in those people’s lives. The app is a part of their daily routine and way of life. The best part is WeChat is always ready and available to help, always within an arm’s reach. How many people can we say that about?

Do you have WeChat? If not, what app are you most dependent on? Is there one that you would be lost without?

2020/10/25 3 comments

Joe Biden, Early Voting, Absentee ballots, mail in voting, election, vote in person, democracy, trump, election 2020

Politics

I Risked My Life to Vote in Person because I Believe in Democracy

by Deborah Cruz 2020/10/22

written by Deborah Cruz

Originally, I said I was going to mail in my ballot. I’m a diabetic. That makes contracting CoVid a potentially larger threat for me. I’m not willing to be the guinea pig to test the theory. I know people who’ve died because of it. I don’t need to test the theory any further.

Common sense told me to vote by mail. Of course, in my red state, you have to have a listed qualifying reason not to vote in person. Having an underlying condition during a pandemic is not one of the options. Still, I was going to fill it out and send it in.

Then, our president started promoting conspiracy theories about how ballots will be lost and voter fraud will run rampant and while I know it was meant as a dig at democrats, that democrats were going to interfere in the election. I, as a Democrat, didn’t get that memo, more importantly, I know the real culprit is the tiny man afraid to relinquish his power. Did someone order a Cheeto flavored Napoleon? Anyways I found it all quite entertaining coming from someone suspected of partnering with the Russians to interfere in our last election. But, that’s the past and neither here nor there. But, if anyone knows about voter fraud and interference, I guess it would be Trump.

Joe Biden, Early Voting, Absentee ballots, mail in voting, election, vote in person, democracy, trump, election 2020

Anyways, I went against logic and common sense and risked my life to go vote in person because I can’t risk my vote not counting. Our country is in great danger of permanent and irreversible damage right now under this administration of inexperience and absolutely corrupted by power president who is letting his ego drive his every decision.

I have been completely disillusioned and disappointed with the American government and our election process since the 2016 election. This is not sour grapes. This is not liking the man as a person, though lack of morals, ethics and common human decency has left me wanting in a commander in chief. My degree is in Political Science, history, sociology and criminology with a focus on law and I have a better comprehension than most about what this presidency really means long term. My friends, we are living through the destruction of democracy and if this continues, life as we know it will be irrevocably damaged. The country you love will no longer exist.

All this to say, I was uncomfortable going to vote in person. I felt vulnerable and exposed, as cases are spiking everywhere and we are heading into cold/flu season, but this election is so important to the future of our country and our children that there was no way that I wasn’t going to cast my vote.

Since this pandemic has begun, I’ve had to cancel my daughter’s quinceañera..twice. I’ve hugged my mom once. I haven’t hugged my dad since March 14^th. I’ve only met my youngest sister’s new baby, once since he was born in April. I missed my middle sister’s intimate wedding celebration yesterday. I’ve seen my oldest brother, twice. I’ve seen my other 2 brothers who live about 5 minutes away twice since March. I haven’t hugged or seen my friends since last spring. All this because the pandemic is a real threat and I can’t trust the general population to wear their masks and follow the rules to protect all of us. Instead of enduring a minor inconvenience (masks) that none of us particularly like for the greater good, these selfish individuals do as they like putting the rest of us at risk.

Instead of all of us hiding in our homes to stay safe, why not make the rule followers unwelcome in public? Why should those of us following the rules feel afraid and in danger every time we leave the house due to a few people’s selfishness and inability to follow the rules.

If you’re wearing your mask and following the rules, this next little bit is not for you, look away now.

Ok, if you are still reading this immediate next paragraph, I can only assume that you fall into the rule-breaking group. You’re not going to like what I have to say on this subject. You’ve been warned.

Hey, you, yes you not wearing your mask, you’re a fucking selfish piece of garbage. It is not “your right” to not wear a mask. That is written nowhere in the Constitution. Your wants are not more important than the rest of our safety and health. You’re not fucking special. Put your fucking mask on. Maybe you should feel afraid that someone’s going to punch you in the throat when they see you using that facemask as a chin warmer. You feel threatened and at risk for a while. P.S. if you pull your mask down again to cough, expect to get punched in the face. You make me sick.

Back to our normally scheduled blog post.

What I’m saying is I risked my life voting in person because it is THAT important this year. If you don’t believe me just ask the 223, 000 Americans who’ve died from Coronavirus in the United States or the 8.14 Americans who’ve contracted it. They didn’t deserve to have their lives cut short because of another person’s inability to care for anyone beyond themselves.

I implore you to get out and vote. Know the facts about both candidates.

Visit JoeBiden.Com and know Joe’s vision.

2020/10/22 1 comment

Miscarriage

Chrissy Teigen is Every Mother Who Suffered a Miscarriage

by Deborah Cruz 2020/10/15

written by Deborah Cruz

I stumbled on to the photo of Chrissy Teigen in the hospital losing her baby. In that vulnerable, raw, real moment, Chrissy Teigen is every mother who suffered a miscarriage and we love her more for bravely showing the world what pregnancy loss really looks and feels like. I felt it. I felt it in my soul. I’ve been there and at that moment, that black and white photo thrust me right back into those horrible moments of the most devastating seconds of my life. The visceral moments that changed me forever.

It instantly transported me to a place of raw emotion and primal pain. To a moment in time where I felt so helpless and vulnerable that I questioned if living was even an option. At that moment, I was so destroyed that I wanted to disappear because the pain was mind, body and soul-shattering. The loss was too big, it was incomprehensible and almost unsurvivable. That photo of Chrissy Tiegen transcended time and space and in that moment, it wasn’t 8 years ago, it was right now. I was back there, begging and pleading for my baby to live for this not to be real. With the photo below, the wound was ripped wide open, all the air in the room was gone and all I could do was cry in commiseration.

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day , Never Break, Chrissy Teigen, Miscarriage, John Legend,

There is nothing else you can do for a woman who has lost her child. There is no soothing or salve for our souls. Our entire world has imploded and our precious baby was the collateral damage. The thought of that kind of cruelty is unbearable, innumerable and unrelenting. All we can do as mothers is hold on for dear life and hope we are not too broken to continue because when this happens, absolutely nothing in our lives make any sense. There is no reason and no rationalization, there is only regrets for things to never come. There is mourning for what will never be and that never ends.

I broke on that day. May 1, 2012. The breaking started on April 31 at 10:30 am when I laid on the cold examination table in the ultrasound office and saw the expression on the tech’s face. I’ll never forget the blank, pale silence of her face. The “without words” expression that told me all that words would fail. Words made no sense in those following moments. I heard her compassionately give me the worst news of my life but it was too quick, I couldn’t process it.

I played along and held my breath as she silently led me the back way to my obstetrician’s downstairs waiting room. The silence was deafening. I was sure that at any moment, I would collapse to the ground and die myself. I willed it so. I would have preferred anything to the hellish pain I felt in my soul in those moments. I felt hopeless. My body was betraying me and my heart was breaking and there was nothing I could do to save either of us.

We arrived in the doctor’s office, I sat under the bright overhead lights afraid to breathe, move or speak a word…waiting; suspended in time, enveloped in disbelief before I even heard the words spoken aloud. It was like waiting for a bomb to detonate with no way to escape.

I braced myself to be inundated with pain.

My obstetrician came in, donning that same blank poker face as the tech as she spoke to me with pity and compassion on her breath. She said the words I tried my best not to hear. “Debi, I’m so sorry, we couldn’t find your baby’s heartbeat.” I felt trapped in a nightmare. God, please wake me up and let my baby be alive. But, no reprieve came for me on that day.

How could she tell me so calmly that my child didn’t have a heartbeat. The child I was growing and loving inside my body. The baby we had hoped and longed for since Gabi was born. After that, my mind went numb. I just sat there, deflated and defeated. My world was crashing down around me and my only weapon against self-destruction was to be as quiet and as still as possible and to hope the moment passed and this was all a bad dream. But it didn’t.

The only words I could whisper, after being informed that my pregnancy had ended but my baby was refusing to leave my body and there was no idea when it would happen, was,

Please get him out of my body.

I realize that sounds harsh but my mind was breaking and the thought of holding on was too much to bear.

I wanted to run as far and fast away from this day and those events as possible. I know it sounds cruel that my first thought was to get the baby I lost out of my body but the wait and see if my body would do its own thing plan at almost 11 weeks was more than my mind could handle. I was so broken the only thing I could believe in was rebuilding myself. I’m not one to sit in my brokenness. This break could be the one that permanently left me immobile. We scheduled for the next morning at 6 am. In less than 24 hours, the dream would be irrevocably broken.

What came next, was more than my heart could tolerate. My doctor, seeing my state, and knowing that I had come to this “routine” visit alone, informed me that I must call my husband and tell him because she didn’t want me to shoulder the entire burden alone. She was witnessing my undoing and her only mercy was to demand that I let someone help me. But in that trapped moment of unfathomable pain, I felt shame and failure. My mind knew she was right but …

my heart didn’t want to accept it because once I said it aloud, it would be real.

I dialed the phone, in complete silence. I could barely breathe for fear that I’d start sobbing and never stop. That was the hardest phone call I’ve ever had to make. He knew I was at the obstetrician. He answered the phone, “How’s our baby?” The words stuck in my throat. They were choking me. I couldn’t make my mouth betray my heart with the words. My eyes burned with tears that seemed to be never-ending. Finally, I choked out the cruelest words a mother could ever have to say. That was the moment I turned from a mother losing the most precious thing she has to a feral animal. I ran out of the office to my car as fast as I could and sat there and wailed in the most primal way that I have ever cried in my life. It was harder and louder than I knew possible and I didn’t recognize my own voice in those minutes before I had to leave to pick Gabs up from preschool.

Every Mother Who Suffered a Miscarriage knows this moment of restraining yourself from giving yourself over to the pain entirely in order to be stoic for the people you love.

That’s the thing; my world was falling apart but the rest of the world was carrying on and there was no one else to pick her up from school. The only thing I could do was lose my mind in the car, by myself, outside the obstetrician’s office full of round bellies and sob alone, it was the only comfort I was afforded. I changed on that day. I am not the same woman who went into that office morning. She’s gone and will never return. Then, I picked up my daughter and pretended for the 30-minute ride home that I hadn’t just experienced the most devastating moment of my life. It felt like an out of body experience that I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

That’s where I went when I saw the photos of Chrissy Teigen. What I’m trying to say is that I know that pain on her face, many women do, and though we cannot take that immeasurable pain away or make it better, we can hold her up in love and commiseration. She will never be alone.

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day , Never Break, Chrissy Teigen, Miscarriage, John Legend,

Tonight, John took the stage and sung Never Break and dedicated it to his wife. I can’t imagine how hard singing that song with the weight of what they are going through right now. My heart goes out to her and John because that is the hardest thing a couple can go through. Wishing them both some peace.

I’ll be honest, when I see those pictures, I see myself and I want to protect her and make the world leave her alone because in the end, the burden of this loss falls heaviest on the mother because, as a mother, we wouldn’t have it any other way. No two people experience or process a loss the same but in the end the result is the same, we are changed for the rest of our lives.

I just hope that Chrissy and every woman who has gone through, is going through or will go through a loss, please give yourself grace, allow yourself to grieve for as long as it takes, feel your feelings and take care of you but be willing to let those who love you a little space to get into your crumbling world and remove some of the rubble, at the very least hold you while you cry. It never stops hurting but the pain does get tolerable. The wound grows a scab but there will always be a scar where our babies should be.

The thing about moms and our hearts, even when it breaks, it repairs and replenishes; it grows. But we moms, we don’t actually break, we just bend really, really fucking far. In the end, we survive and live to hold the hand and heart of the next mother whose world gets blown up and through this inexplicable pain, we become salvation and sanctuary for another woman. This is a small blessing that you cannot fathom when you are in the beginning of it but you will become stronger from surviving it; stronger to help someone else. Your pain will not be wasted entirely. You are a warrior, you have survived the hardest thing you’ll ever need to endure.

Chrissy Teigen, We love you. We are you. You are not alone.

2020/10/15 0 comment

breast cancer awareness, cyberactivism, mobilization

Blogging Health Women's Issues

Breast Cancer Awareness Month Needs to be More than Pink Ribbons

by Deborah Cruz 2020/10/11

written by Deborah Cruz

It’s October and Breast Cancer Awareness month. Prepare for pink bows and mammogram reminders everywhere. Having known several women who have battled breast cancer, I strongly believe in advocating for the cause.

Having a blog gives me the unique opportunity of having an established platform for amplification for social causes. I want to help make an actual difference, not just talk about it. I want to be an agent for change and use my voice and my power to make the world a better place for my children. But it’s not always easy. Screaming into a void is not being a catalyst for change. Loud isn’t necessarily effective. My parents taught me that if I was going to say something, I should make sure that I’m saying something.

How do you choose what you share on social media? None of us are mindlessly sharing. At the root of it, there is something worth sharing to us about that information. Do you ever really share something if it doesn’t appeal to one of your emotions? Whether its laughter, righteousness, justice, empathy or commiseration, there is a reason.

How many times have you written a social media post and really wanted to call people to action? Motivate or inspire them to take action and be the change they want to see in the world? This is called mobilization in the marketing world. Mobilization is defined as the process by which candidates, parties, activists and groups induce other people to participate. Many of us have used mobilization, maybe without even realizing it, this campaign season.

If you want to incite behavior change using social media, cyberactivism must be a part of your strategy. Cyberactivism is the process of using Internet-based socializing and communication techniques to create, operate and manage activism of any type. I’ve done this myself on many occasions.

Things that happen to us in our lives, make us first-person advocates. Authentic calls to action are usually met with empathy, understanding and action from friends. The more scared you are to hit the publish button, the more effective the message. The more people who see the message, the more who can actively do something to to help the cause.

People like to do the right thing. Maybe they don’t have the money to donate but hitting the like button or sharing a status update for a good cause is easy enough for anyone to do but if it’s not clear does it bring the right kind of attention to the cause? How do we take the idea of cyberactivism and meaninglessly hitting a like button and transform that into real activism, in real life mobilization?

Every October, many people celebrate National Breast Cancer Awareness Month. There was a popular Facebook meme where a private Facebook message request that asked women to put a single color as their status update. The color was to reflect the color of the bra they were wearing. It was simple, share your name and color (of your bra) for example, Debi, Red. The idea was that everyone would see the status and be curious.

Another meme asked women to change their status to where they like to put their purse. Yet, another one asked for ladies to post the number of minutes it takes to do their hair followed by the word inches. These memes were great gimmicks to grab attention and get likes and shares but did they really raising awareness for breast cancer? How are these memes activating mobilization to cure breast cancer?

This kind of cyberactivism is superficial, there needs to be something of more substance; a more effective call to action. Sharing and liking funny or provocative Facebook statuses won’t cure breast cancer and don’t call the right kind of attention to the cause. Is awareness even the issue?

How can cyberactivism be more meaningful and effective this Breast Care Awareness month?

Why is Breast Cancer Awareness month associated with pink when it’s not just a female disease? Men can get breast cancer too. To be launch an effective social media mobilization campaign, we need to know what the actual issue and provide people with real-life actionable items to help the cause;

A list of where/ how to volunteer to help people with breast cancer.
How/where to donate.
Sign petitions.

Make people more aware of how to proactively care for themselves.

Know the risks.
Encourage people to get their yearly mammograms.
Teach girls when they are young, how to perform self-checks at home regularly.

Knowledge is power and a lot more effective than sharing the color of a bra or where we like to it our purse. Most importantly, if you want to use your social media platforms to mobilize the masses to action, hit publish on those personal and authentic posts. Be relatable and it will move people to do more.

What will you do for your part to help prevent and cure breast cancer?

Photo

2020/10/11 1 comment

back to school, office envy, wayfair, virtual learning,

Home

Easy Back to School Virtual Learning Area Update

by Deborah Cruz 2020/10/02

written by Deborah Cruz

Back-to-school looks a little different this year for many families, mine included. I’ve been a work-from-home for the past 13 years, so I’m used to the rigorous scheduling of being a stay-at-home mom while balancing working full-time, only this year, I decided to add going back to school to earn a Master’s degree in the middle of a pandemic. On top of that, and the world being on fire, my girls are embracing virtual learning because I have a dreaded “underlying condition”. We had to make some concessions and tweaks on expectations because it’s hard, all of it, for all of us.

Disclosure: I am a Wayfair homemaker ambassador and this is a compensated post, however, all opinions are my own.

I’m sure that we can all agree that the “new normal” is not normal at all. My girls are learning from home because it’s the safest option for our family. I actually love having this extra time with them, when our time is so limited. In a couple of years, Bella will be heading off to college and that fact is not wasted on me. I know these CoVid days at home are a gift to us. Still, working from home while going to school with both girls learning virtually and not being able to do the things we normally do or even the simplest things like vacation, is absolutely exhausting.

So, we try our best to find the extraordinary in the ordinary moments and appreciate the challenges for giving us fresh perspective on our blessings and still, even with all the positivity we can throw at it, it’s still been really hard on all of us. I’ve learned to pick my battles, as a wife, mother, student and freelancer, let things go and give grace to others. I’ve become more forgiving and understanding and even still, there are days when it’s almost too much to bear.

One thing that has helped me throughout this pandemic and not leaving our house has been to be able to change our spaces. It sounds simple but some plants, some paint, a little blood, sweat and tears and a few new pieces of furniture can be a simple way to create a completely new feel in an old space. Aside from refreshing bedrooms to make them more calming and relaxing, streamlining bathrooms and scrubbing kitchens, the most important refresh I’ve done is creating functional schooling areas for the entire family.

I have a home office but normally, there is just me at home. With three people going back to school in a pandemic, in Zoom meetings, trying to read, write papers and stay focused, there had to be more than 1 office. We can’t all squirrel away in our bedrooms and work, that would be too depressing. I spruced up the office with a mini makeover and the cutest Ghislain daybed because during a pandemic, even big kids need naps sometimes.

back to school, office envy, wayfair, virtual learning, My latest spruce-up efforts have been directed towards the virtual schooling oasis AKA our living room. It just didn’t feel particularly uplifting and definitely not inspiring. The furniture is big, heavy and dark-colored. The walls were actual 1970’s brown paneling. PANELING! It felt like being stuck in the past. We removed the paneling and primed and painted the walls in a more contemporary grey with bright white molding. We painted the brown shelves and beams white. I covered the brown leather couch in a teal couch cover. Covered the cold hardwood floors in a white furry shag rug and placed a matching throw pillow cover on the sofa.

back to school, office envy, wayfair, virtual learning, In addition to that I updated the look with, my favorite piece, the Janelle End Table that replaced the oversized wood tables. Since it was going to be transformed into a study area for one of us, I also added a new lamp to provide better lighting and added some plants for fresh air. Throw in a small modern shelf with some classics and inspiration is everywhere. I love the way it feels and looks. The more open, bright design and concept feels like a breath of fresh air when your brain feels too tired to go on.

What would you do to freshen up your virtual school area?

2020/10/02 0 comment

Fashion Tech

How Warby Parker CoVid Proofed their Business and How You Can too

by Deborah Cruz 2020/09/27

written by Deborah Cruz

In today’s busy world, especially now during the coronavirus pandemic, more and more people are trying to navigate the world in the most effective and streamlined way possible. Limiting unnecessary exposure and time in public is something we’re all trying to do these days. Businesses that are adapting to these needs are growing in popularity. Warby Parker CoVid proofed their business and here’s how you can too.

Everyone knows the story of Warby Parker; four Wharton School students at the University of Pennsylvania saw there was a need for people who needed prescription eyeglasses that wasn’t being met. Neil Blumenthal, Andrew Hunt, David Gilboa and Jeffrey Raider found an innovative, less impersonal and more convenient way to meet these needs. You’ve heard that necessity is the mother of invention and in Warby Parker’s case, that is definitely true.

Warby Parker CoVid proofed their business and here’s how you can too.

Traditionally, purchasing eyeglasses is not only a chore, it’s an inconvenience. First, you have to get dressed and schlep to the optometrist or ophthalmologist. Next, there’s the inevitable eye exam and to add insult to injury, you have to spend hours of your day trying on frames to find which one best aligns with your daily style. In the end, most of us leave the office feeling like we just spent a whole lot of money on something we didn’t even want to buy. And on top of that, we just spent hours in public during a pandemic. Not exactly anyone’s first choice for a day out.

Warby Parker changed all of that before the pandemic by offering a new 21st-century, innovative strategy for getting eyeglasses to the people who need them most, currently, that’s everyone who wears glasses during a pandemic. This is how they do eyeglasses smarter than others:

Their business model focuses on online distribution, rather than requiring customers to head in to visit a local showroom.
Warby Parker designs their eyeglasses in house.
They sell directly to customers which lowers overhead cost and that in turn lowers the cost of glasses to customers.

Even with the cost savings, some customers felt like they needed that more personal experience of going into the showroom and trying glasses on. Warby Parker sends each customer 5 pairs of eyeglass styles of their choice to try on in the comfort and safety of their own home. Some customers were still leery of such a new way of shopping, especially since it eliminated human contact which gave some the expectation of low quality and less trust. Warby Parker not only met the need they exceeded it.

But how did Warby Parker CoVid proof their business and how can you do the same?

Warby Parker harnessed the power of social media to put their customers at ease. This simple act allowed them to communicate easily with customers and get feedback, provide immediate customer service, change the narrative of how their customers related to them, reduce customer frustrations and build brand loyalty.

Warby Parker’s business model is simple, give the customer what they want at an affordable price. Through the “Home Try-On Campaign” customers order 5 pairs of eyeglasses to their home, try them on and pick their favorite pair and return the rest, free of charge. All throughout the process, Warby Parker is communicating with the customer, responding to their questions and concerns, providing guidance and customer assistance all through social media. In return, customers are encouraged and regularly post photos of themselves wearing the glasses on their own social media accounts. This kind of word of mouth marketing among friends and family is priceless.

READ ALSO: Next time they won’t need me

Warby Parker also uses its social media platforms to provide customers with expert advice and information on eyeglasses. They even create helpful informational YouTube videos to help make the customer’s experience better. All of this back and forth communication between brand and customer, grows brand loyalty. Loyalty makes the whole eyeglass buying experience feel less impersonal and more like an exchange between friends.

Lastly, Warby Parker includes marketing for social good as part of their strategy. Who doesn’t want to help others while helping themselves, right? Through this initiative, they are able to provide a pair of eyeglasses to a person in need for every pair bought. Not sure about you but if I had the choice between spending my money on a pair of glasses one place and another place that gives a free pair to the needy, I want to be part of the solution not the problem and I know I’m not alone.

Warby Parker took something most of us need to do and made it convenient, more affordable and less cumbersome. Beyond exceeding customers’ expectations and meeting their needs, they utilized social media to bridge the gap. That gap between in real life and online business can feel vast. They make it feel personal.

How you can CoVid proof your business using social media

Use social media to communicate with your customers.
Respond in real-time.
Provide the answer to frequent questions your customers might ask in the form of long-form videos.
Host live Q & As on Instagram or Facebook live.
Use an email subscriber list to provide ‘subscribed only’ promotions to customers.
Build loyalty through consistency.
Build trust through transparency.

Do you shop more virtually now than before the pandemic? Which brands do you feel are doing it right? Who is getting it wrong?

Photo Credit iStock

2020/09/27 1 comment

K-drama, kpop, c-drama, j-drama ,4 Asian Rom Coms that can Save You from Your Pandemic Pit of Despair, Dylan Wang, Shen Yeu, Meteor Garden, Guo Junchen, Amy Sun, Zhao Yiqin, Yuan Hao, accidentally in love, shy boss, Yeon Woo-jin, Park Hye-soo, Yoon Park, Love Alarm, Song Kang, Kim So-hyun, Good Morning Call, Shun’ya Shiraishi, Haruka Fukuhara, Yosuke Sugino, Darren Chen, Caesar Wu, Connor Leong, Sun Qiang, Hello My Twenties, Ryu Hwa-young, Park Hye-soo, Park Eun-bin, Han Seung –yeon , Han Ye-ri, Yoon Park, Shin Hyun-soo, Netflix, Rakuten Viki, My First First Love, Ji Soo, Jung Chae-Yeon, Second Twenties, Choi Ji-woo, Lee Sang-yoon, The Liar and His Lover, Lee Hyun-woo, Lee Jung-jin, Lee Seo-won and Hong Seo-young, Put Your Head on My Shoulder, Lin Yi, Xing Fei, Miss in Kiss, Dino Lee, Esther Wu, Riley Wang, Zhao Lusi , Zhang Jiongmin, I Hear You, Go Go Squid, Li Xian, Yang Zi, Hu Yi Tian

Entertainment Mental Health

14 Asian Rom Com Series that can Save You From Your Pandemic Pit of Despair

by Deborah Cruz 2020/09/15

written by Deborah Cruz

I’ve never needed streaming television more than I do now. This coronavirus pandemic has begun to affect me in ways that I never could have expected. I’ve watched everything in English, Spanish, French, Italian, Swedish and Belgian that I could find. I’ve always loved Asian horror because it’s simply the scariest. What I never expected my heart would need is Asian Rom Coms, all Asian Drama, K-dramas, C-drama, J-drama, coming of age series and kPop soundtracks. I’m not even a Rom-Com girl. But Asian Rom Com series just hit in a different way than their American counterparts. They are pure and innocent. I find myself smiling a lot.

If you’re not familiar with this genre, acquaint yourself. These series can also sometimes fall into the categories of K-Dramas, J-Dramas and C-Dramas. If you’re wondering why I am out of the blue recommending these shows, I’m going to be 100% honest with you. I’ve been really stressed during this pandemic but I’ve been keeping it all neatly bottled up inside because this issue is so huge and insurmountable that keeping a lid on my feelings about it is the only way for me to mentally survive it.

As many of you know, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 when I was 27. I haven’t had a manic or depressive episode in over a decade. To be honest, the only “depression” I’ve truly ever experienced was the result of an overly stressful coming of age time in my own teens when my dad was a volatile alcoholic and again in 2012, when I lost our third baby. I actually feel like both of those instances were completely normal responses to the situation however, I am not trusted to assess my own emotional well-being. My point is that this pandemic has me terrified for my own mental health.

Rather than feeling like I’m depressed, at least not anything like I’ve ever known, I’m feeling anxious (again, I feel under these circumstances is a pretty normal reaction for anyone) but what’s scaring me is this walking a tightrope feeling in my gut that feels like mania is lurking right beneath the surface, just waiting to break through. That terrifies me because I’ve never had an episode since becoming a mom. But, I’m also not who I was in my 20’s, I know the disease I’m battling. I know it well. I’ve researched it, made peace with it and embraced it. I’ve had extensive training on how to move through it and how to get myself off the ledge. Still, it’s scary. The feeling that any wrong move can send me freefalling and crashing towards earth as my daughters and the Big Guy watch on. That scares me the most.

Luckily, I just had 2 weeks off of school (Oh yeah, did I forget to mention that I’ve gone back to school to get another Masters of Science (this time in Digital Marketing) during a pandemic?) but today, I went back. It gave me the time I needed to look more closely at the situation and realize what’s happening; to get my bearings. When I had my miscarriage, I had this same walking a tightrope feeling, I survived it with binge-watching the UK version of Shameless…all 10 seasons. I’m the kind of person who needs to feel her feelings and I write to process but when it gets to be too much, I start to short circuit. Recently, I’ve been finding it harder and harder to write. I can’t even will myself to commit my thoughts to keyboard. That means for my own mental health, I have to let go of the overthinking and I have to relinquish control and numb myself to relieve the pressure.

READ ALSO: The Last Goodbye

Before I knew what my diagnosis was, I used to drink to do this. I was in college so it seemed pretty normal. Didn’t every anorexic 100 lb girl drink 6-12 beers a night? I did. I don’t do that anymore. Seldom do I have even 3 drinks in a year these days. Caffeine and alcohol are on my “in moderation” list. Sleep for me is supposed to be 10-12 hours a night, to maintain normal. I live on 4-6, if I’m sick, I can force 8. My insomnia is my constant companion. I’ve noticed it’s gotten worse these past few weeks. My bedtime is frequently at 4 am. I know this is not normal but nothing brings the sleep, not even the sleep medication. This is a trigger warning for me.

My point to all of this is that Asian Rom Coms are currently saving my sanity. I need their quiet, sweet, romantic, coming-of-age endearing storylines to focus on and laugh and cry with to process my emotions in small quantities. These series are literally my emotional support series’. When I’m in a manic episode, I become obsessive so binge-watching is better than eating or shopping. The alternative is giving myself over to the erratic, reckless and self-satisfying darkness. Instead, I’m choosing to quiet my mind by anesthetizing it with the calm voices of Asia’s finest young actors. I’m enjoying them so much; I’m thinking of trying to learn Mandarin (because speaking 4 languages is not enough) …this could be the mania talking but I’m going to give it a try with no expectations (that’s how I know I’m still aware of my behavior).

READ ALSO: How to Love Forever

I know that the pandemic has brought about its own unique challenges for everyone, I’m not the only one whose mental illness has been reactivated in the wake of the world being on fire. I’m not special (look at me not having grandiose thoughts of self-importance). I’m not saying that Asian rom coms are the answer to saving the world’s sanity from the Coronavirus pandemic, but I’m not saying they’re not either. They are very entertaining, add levity, laughter and cathartic sobbing when needed and unlike the typical American teen dramas we are used to there is not any of the excessive drinking, juuling and sex scenes. It’s just endearing and thoughtful naïve first love, the kind we had in the beginning and wish for our own children to someday experience. Plus, the people, the music, the language and the culture are so beautiful to watch and learn more about. Right now, I’m truly thankful for Netflix and Rakuten Viki.

For me, I know that Asian rom coms can’t fix mental illness but just like psychiatric drugs, behavioral therapy and cognitive therapy, in my recovery, they definitely have their place. Here are my favorite Asian Rom Coms for beginners. For reference, my top 4 are the first 4 on the list below. Also, this list includes Chinese, Korean, Japanese and Taiwanese recs. Don’t worry if you don’t know the languages, that’s what subtitles are for and honestly, even without subtitles, you can enjoy these shows. Seriously, Asian Rom Coms can help us all survive the pandemic. TBH, the worst thing about Asian Rom Coms is that they end and I want more seasons.

Top Asian Rom Coms to watch for beginners

Meteor Garden

Chinese/ Netflix /2018

Dong Shancai is determined to excel at her dream university, where she encounters an elite clique of dashing, popular high-achievers — and finds love, Dao Ming Si. Starring Dylan Wang and Shen Yeu.

A Love so Beautiful

Chinese / Netflix/ 2017

The ups and downs of school, family and growing up test the love between a budding artist, Chen Xiaoxi, and her handsome but indifferent classmate and neighbor, Jiang Chen. Starring Hu Yi Tian and Shen Ye.

Go Go Squid

Chinese/ Rakuten Viki/ 2019

At 19, Tong Nian, a brilliant IT programming student with stellar grades and an equally impressive social media following, is winning at life. She never has a problem meeting new people. But all that changes the day Han Shang Yan walks into her life. Starring Li Xian, Yang Zi and Hu Yi Tian.

I Hear You

Chinese/ Netflix/ 2019

Love blooms between a bubbly, aspiring voice actress and a cool, enigmatic violin-maker after they cross paths on a reality TV show. Starring Riley Wang, Zhao Lusi and Zhang Jiongmin.

Miss In Kiss

Taiwanese/ Netflix/ 2016

A quirk of fate sends an ordinary, sweet-natured high school girl and her father into the home of the school genius, on whom she has a huge crush. Starring Dino Lee and Esther Wu.

Put Your Head on My Shoulder

Chinese/ Netflix/ 2019

As Si Tu Mo’s graduation is nearing, she is confused about her future plans. She tries out all sorts of things all the time and is unable to make her own decisions. Starring Lin Yi and Xing Fei.

The Liar and His Lover

South Korean/ Netflix/ 2017

Love Story of a genius composer and a high school girl who sings. She falls in love at first sight but it’s never that easy. The drama is based on the popular Japanese manga Kanojo wa Uso o Aishisugiteru by Kotomi Aoki. Starring Lee Hyun-woo and Joy with Lee Jung-jin, Lee Seo-won and Hong Seo-young

Second 20s

South Korean/ Netflix/ 2015

Almost 40, Ha No-Ra’s son is about to go away to college and her husband wants a divorce the moment the kid’s out of the house. Ha No-Ra goes back to school and meets Cha Hyun-Suk, an old schoolmate who is now a professor. Unknown to her, Cha Hyun-Suk had the biggest crush on her in high school but she never noticed. Starring Choi Ji-woo and Lee Sang-yoon.

My First First Love

Korean/ Netflix/ 2019

Due to various personal reasons, some of Yun Tae-o’s friends move into his house, where they experience love, friendship and everything in between. Starring Ji Soo and Jung Chae-Yeon.

Hello, My Twenties

Korean/ Netflix/ 2016

Five female housemates and college students meet and live at the Belle Epoque. While strangers at first, they are able to bond and connect over the traumas they experienced while growing up. Together they juggle the perils of adult life. Starring Ryu Hwa-young, Park Hye-soo, Park Eun-bin, Han Seung –yeon , Han Ye-ri, Yoon Park and Shin Hyun-soo.

Good Morning Call

Japanese/ Netflix/ 2016

A teenager has finally gotten her own apartment. The only problem is that she’s sharing it with the most popular boy in school, and they have to keep it a secret. Starring Shun’ya Shiraishi and Haruka Fukuhara.

Love Alarm

Korean/ Netflix/ 2019

In a world in which an app alerts people if someone in the vicinity likes them, Kim Jojo experiences young love while coping with personal adversities. Starring Song Kang and Kim So-hyun.

Shy Boss

Korean/ Netflix/ 2017

The quiet life of an extreme introvert is thrown upside down when his company hires a cheery and outgoing new employee who’s not all she seems. Starring Yeon Woo-jin, Park Hye-soo and Yoon Park.

Accidentally in Love

Korean/ Netflix/ 2018

A popular singer decides to go back to school, becoming the center of attention there and meets an ordinary female student who is more than he ever imagined. Starring Guo Junchen, Amy Sun, Zhao Yiqin and Yuan Hao.

This is just a beginner’s list of some of my favorites. There are so many more and I encourage you all to check them all out. I highly recommend you check them out and if you do, please come back here and leave me some comments. I’m fairly new to the genre but would love to discuss it with all of you, especially if you’ve watched them or have recommendations of K-Drama and Asian Rom Coms that I should check out, bonus points if they have Li Xian, Dylan Wang and Shen Yeu in them.

2020/09/15 1 comment

If you Wouldn't Drink Paint Thinner while Pregnant then Pass on Decaf coffee, clean label project

Food Health

If You Wouldn’t Feed Your Newborn Paint Stripper Rethink that Decaf while Pregnant

by Deborah Cruz 2020/09/04

written by Deborah Cruz

Do you love coffee? Is it something that’s part of your daily routine? I’ve been drinking cafecito bombon since I was a tween and sneaking sips from my dad’s mug since before then. Coffee has always been comforting in my life. Even now, one of my favorite things to do is sit on the back deck with the Big Guy and sip coffee over conversation or make TikToks while dancing around the kitchen with my teens sipping our whipped coffees. It doesn’t matter if it’s hot or cold, caffeinated or decaffeinated coffee is comfort and enthusiastic support on all days and in all the ways. But what if you found out that your coffee had toxic chemicals in it? Worse, what if you were pregnant and found out that your decaf coffee had paint stripper in it?

Disclosure: This post is a sponsored campaign in partnership with the Clean Label Project. All opinions and pregnancy experience is my own.

When I was pregnant, I kicked my coffee addiction. I gave up caffeine completely. A few times, I did treat myself to a decaf Frappuccino. We lived in Tennessee, 600 miles away from our parents. Some days during pregnancy, I really needed to be comforted and I thought it was safe to treat myself to a small decaf coffee. Was I wrong?

READ ALSO: Unexpected Pregnancy at 40

My mom has a heart condition. She doesn’t drink caffeine because it’s bad for her. She drinks decaf coffee twice daily. A lot of older people drink decaf coffee because caffeine is bad for them. Pregnant women drink decaf because caffeine is not great for development. There are several different kinds of medical and mental disorders that encourage those diagnosed to switch to decaf because it’s “better for you”. But what happens when the very thing that you are told to be healthier is terrible for you?

Clean Label Project recently released findings on methylene chloride (the active ingredient in paint strippers), which is found in popular decaffeinated coffee. Clean Label Project has filed lawsuits against four national brands for false and misleading advertising and labeling. These brands claim that their decaffeinated coffee products are “pure and natural.” In contrast, Clean Label Project’s study showed that methylene chloride was detected in the decaffeinated coffee products of these brands.

I’m not saying that you can’t drink coffee. I love coffee. Just ask my Nespresso account. Seriously, coffee is still warm and comforting to me but, as I’ve gotten more label savvy in the past year thanks to my recent health scares, I am also more discerning about what I put into my body. There are always healthier options, we just need to be aware of all the facts and ingredients.

So what’s going on with decaffeinated coffee? Removing caffeine from coffee generally involves one of two processes: water-based vs. solvent (chemical) based. However, the FDA currently allows methylene chloride to be used in the coffee decaffeination process and brands are not required to disclose which decaffeination process they use on their labels.

Clean Label Project tested 25 popular brands found in major retailers for the presence of methylene chloride. Ten brands tested positive. The onus is on the consumer to demand chemical-free decaffeinated coffee.

The thing is we have enough to worry about when we’re pregnant or elderly or just trying to take care of our health without having to go in search of all the hidden dangers of every single thing we ever want to eat or drink. There shouldn’t be secret chemicals in our food that can poison us or cause harm to our unborn babies. You don’t have to just take it. You can take action and Detox Your Coffee.

If you Wouldn't Drink Paint Thinner while Pregnant then Pass on Decaf coffee, clean label project If you Wouldn’t Drink Paint stripper while Pregnant then Pass on Decaf coffee. If you don’t think paint stripper is acceptable in decaf coffee, use your voice to contact your favorite brands and demand that they make it safer.

2020/09/04 0 comment

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