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Deborah Cruz

Latina. Girl mom of 2. Married to my college sweetheart.Digital Storyteller. Lover of travel, food and fashion. Chicago girl. I write because it's how I process the world. I share because I want you to know that you're not alone. I drink Chai Lattes in the interim to survive it all.

Anarchy in the USA an American Coup Anarchists Storm Capitol Building, Trump supporters stand on the U.S. Capitol Police armored vehicle as others take over the steps of the Capitol on Wednesday,
NewsPolitics

Anarchy in the USA an American Coup as Anarchists Storm the Capitol Building

by Deborah Cruz
written by Deborah Cruz

This is breaking news*** President Trump encourages armed Insurrection in Washington DC. A woman is in critical condition after being shot in the chest on capital grounds. Once again President Trump has poured gasoline on America and threw the match to set our country on fire. Pro-Trump mob storms the capitol building.  Anarchy in the USA, an American coup as anarchists storm Capitol building. Make no mistake, our democracy is under assault.

 

This is treason.

He has incited a coup. This is an insurrection and rebellion. This could be the beginning of a civil war. This is not okay. Make no mistake, this pro-Trump mob of rioters are anarchists and this is the death of democracy. I’m not shocked because I’ve expected this since he was elected in 2016. He’s been calling on his supporters to do this. He’s been inciting violence by calling them to action. Today, Trump supporters stormed the capital building and stopped capital action as the Vice President presided over the presidential ratification process today. Our capital building is on lockdown due to threats from Trump-supporting Americans. I am embarrassed and disgusted to be an American today. This is the fall of America. President Trump needs to call off his dogs. What the fuck is wrong with America?

This is absolutely anarchy in the USA. This is an American coup.

Anarchy in the USA an American Coup Anarchists Storm Capitol Building

Bonfire of the Insanities

Earlier today, Vice President Mike Pence said he could not and would not overturn the election which enraged Trump supporters and brought Trump’s wrath down upon him. The vice president had to be evacuated for safety. There is an armed standoff at the house front door. There was an armed standoff at the door of the house floor. Protestors breached the senate floor. Tear gas was used in the rotunda and house members were given gas masks and sheltering in place. What the fuck is going on? The insanity and inflammatory conspiracy theories that Donald Trump has been spouting for the past years and months has finally broken the United States of America.

READ ALSO: Donald Trump will destroy America

This disgusting display of treason is undermining our democracy. This deplorable behavior is on display for all the world to see, all those law-abiding citizens of us can do is sit at home knowing we are being seen and judged by other countries. These people storming the capital building are making us vulnerable. Trump’s lies and the false hope he gave his supporters that the election could be overturned has incited a coup. This is something we would see in worn-torn countries, not the United States.

Anarchy in the USA an American Coup Anarchists Storm Capitol Building

Insurrection in America

There was a Saturday, way back in November, where a lot of us exhaled a collective sigh of relief. Not going to lie, I wanted Kamala Harris and Joe Biden to win the election for so many reasons but I don’t think the least of all reasons was the return to decency, I never realized how scared and sad I’ve been living the past 4 years, not until I found myself sobbing at the election results. It was happiness, elation, relief and a sense of security. I had hope. Then, the other 4 times, Biden was declared the winner of the election, my hope began to slip away.

READ ALSO: United We Resist

I don’t think I’ve had real hope since the 2016 election. I’ve been existing on some plane, surviving through to 2020. But somewhere between the great disappointment of 2016 and November 6th, 2020, I sank into such a long and arduous depression that it became my constant state of being. I began to distrust people, fear Trump supporters and stopped feeling safe to live my truth. It’s hard to feel safe when your world is governed by a maniac who doesn’t follow any of the rules of politics or basic human decency. On top of all of that, not only does he not understand how politics works (nor does he care) he is a sore loser. The leader of the free world, who the entire rest of the world is watching, is behaving worse than a threenager.

Breaking: Anarchy in the USA an American Coup Anarchists Storm Capitol Building

This is not even a dig at the man. He started out with no knowledge or experience doing a job that he wasn’t equipped to handle and that quickly catapulted to gross mishandling of America progressing to full-on encouraging insurrection and inciting violence. Nothing felt absolute anymore except for the fact that the country would be divided, he wouldn’t tell us the truth and he’d be sure to take every one of us down with the ship. He’s trying to make good on his promise. He’s our captain and we are the U.S.S. Titantic. This is anarchy in the USA and it is a revolting display of unAmericanism.

READ ALSO: White Privilege Protects Criminals while Being Black gets your murdered

I’ve been waiting for today to arrive and the results of the Georgia runoff election to come in. Just this past weekend, while the rest of the country was on holiday, Mr. Trump was in secret instructing Georgia to “find the votes”. Recently, he strong-armed the vice president to, like a common thug, to “make the right decision”. Mr. President, I get that you don’t understand math or how elections work but Mr. Pence does, though not my candidate choice, he is in fact an educated and experienced politician and I think he’s ready for this job to be over. He has spent the better part of the past year placating a 300 pound tantruming, epitome of little dick energy man child. What’s happening today is Anarchy in the USA; an American Coup. When Anarchists storm Capitol building that is treason.

President Trump directly urged fellow Republican Brad Raffensperger, the Georgia secretary of state, to “find” enough votes to overturn his defeat in an unprecedented one-hour phone call Saturday that legal scholars described as a flagrant abuse of power and a potentially criminal act.

READ ALSO: We Need Change in the USA

I’m truly disgusted at the shit show this election has turned out to be. We can’t even celebrate our victory because the president is such an unqualified sore loser that he won’t concede like an adult. In every competition in life, including elections, there is a winner and a loser. The grown-up accepts that to win you risk losing. There is no shame is losing a fight well fought but being a sore loser is the worst and most embarrassing thing you can do.

Anarchy in the USA Not my America.

This is not 1812 and we need to restore order to the people’s house. Donald Trump needs to concede and tell his supporters to stand down and go home. This is a coup attempt and they, along with Donald Trump, are committing treason against the United States and all the American people. This is Trump’s legacy, an America divided.  Shame on Donald Trump. Silently watching, Donald Trump is actively destroying American democracy as the mob he enacted tears down our capitol.  This Trump mob is American terrorists and this is an attack on our democracy. He could have inspired a nation, instead, he incited a siege. We the people, do not accept this. I am heartbroken.

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if not now then when, new year's goals, New Year’s Resolutions to Change Your Life for the better
ConfessionsLife in the time of Coronavirus

Easy New Year’s Resolutions to Change Your Life for the Better

by Deborah Cruz
written by Deborah Cruz

I’m not doing outrageous New Year’s resolutions this year. I’m making totally realistic resolutions in response to the pandemic. I am learning from my past mistakes, older and wiser and all that shit, and I am sneaking in on this year. I am slowly, tiptoeing in on this bitch. I am creeping. I’m afraid to spook 2021 and have it run away on me. I’m all about the easy New Year’s Resolutions to Change Your Life for the better this year while being realistic.

I cannot afford another 2020. In fact, like everyone else, I need a 2020 do-over. Where can I get my refund? I want to see the manager. I’m sick of waiting for things to get better. Time to work through my very legitimate but crippling fear that has had me frozen in place over the last year and safely, from a distance, keep pursuing happiness. If not now, then when?

I tried to be optimistic. I did appreciate the time to think and reflect alone with my family. In the early months, I even tried to see the whole coronavirus lockdown situation as a blessing. The past 11 months have been trying, exhilarating and growth inspiring. I have an entirely new outlook on life but I am exhausted, I’m afraid and I’m losing my patience. I’ve been anxious, depressed and manic. I have run the gamut of emotions and I’ve never wanted to get off a ride as badly as I want to escape the nightmare that 2020 has been.

My 2021 Mantra: If not now, then when?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful that I’ve survived thus far but not unscathed. I’ve lost people. In fact, I’ve become accustomed to the news. It’s not become a matter of fact yet but unfortunately, I am no longer shocked. I’ve seen the worst of people. I’ve seen selfishness and anger but I’ve also seen the best of people; self-sacrifice and kindness. But I want it to be over. I feel like I’ve been serving a prison sentence and I didn’t do anything wrong other than having the misfortune of being diabetic.

This year’s “resolutions” aren’t about dreaming or wishing, it’s about doing. It’s about small tweaks and putting in the work. It’s also about self-awareness and perspective. I want to put in the effort and work towards goals. I want to manifest the life I want by keeping faith and determination in the process and myself. Resolutions don’t have to be grand gestures they can be small goals that you can cross off a list and gain a sense of fulfillment and happiness. Lists give me direction and crossing stuff off of lists give me a true sense of joy and bonus, it’s easy to do.

if not now then when, new year's goals, New Year’s Resolutions to Change Your Life for the better, Silver and golden colorful Christmas glitters on turquoise background. Flat lay style. Holiday classic concept.

Easy New Year’s Resolutions to Change Your Life for the Better = Goals

  • Get back to a 2019 state of mind. That’s all I want. I want normal back.

  • Work out 5 days a week. Solution: Start small. 15 minutes of movement.

  • Keep A1C in the normal range. Solution: Portion control, stay within my daily carb amounts and exercise.

  • Keep my triglycerides in check. Solution: Pay attention to labels and saturated fat intake.

  • Weight to go back to pre-Covid/ pre-stress eating days.  Solution: Move more and stress less. Grab for healthier options versus all the carbs.

  • Safe travel with my family.  Solution: WAIT!

  • Hug my parents freely without fear I’ll kill them or the need to quarantine for weeks beforehand. Solution: Wait, quarantine and wear my mask.

  • I want to see my brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews. Solution: Zoom or Facetime. For in-person, drive-by, driveway visits at a social distance outside for the time being. Better to see them safely than not at all.

  • Barbecues and get-togethers without restrictions; ugly sweater parties and costume parties, where we can all laugh and be near one another without suspicion of what every other person in the room was doing or who they were in contact with before being in my breathing space. Solution: Vaccine and herd immunity.WAIT.

  • Attend crowded concerts under the stars with dancing and singing at the top of our lungs. Solution: Until the vaccine is widely available, stream a live concert on a big screen in your yard.

  • Eat at a restaurant. Solution: Some restaurants are offering personal outdoor igloos. Alfresco is the best option right now.

  • Show a sign of peace to the people in the pew next to me at mass. Solution: Peace fingers to friends and family from the appropriate socially safe distance if you don’t have an underlying condition and can attend in-person services, otherwise, stream your services.

  • Sing out loud without fear of spreading a virus or getting punched in the head by someone who is equally afraid of being infected. Solution: For now, do it in your own house or in your own yard.

  • Long, lazy days at crowded beaches and hot summer nights walking the city. Solution: Wait! Empty beaches and masked up walks are fine for now.

  • Work out with my friends. Solution: Challenge each other through apps or outdoor walks in masks.

  • Visit my best friend. Solution: Put on the masks, don’t hug and meet outdoors. For best results, quarantine ahead of time. My best friend is an ER doctor so we really can’t meet right now. We both agree it’s too dangerous.

  • Travel to new and foreign places on an airplane. Solution: I am grounded because it’s not worth the risk with my underlying condition. Other options for local travel are to drive in your own car.

  • Christmas shopping in person and New Year’s eve cheek kisses with strangers. Solution: WAIT!

  • Sit in the stands with thousands of others at football games, Baseball, Soccer and Hockey matches. Solution: Stream it. Sitting in a crowded venue for entertainment right now is risky. If you’re into the thrill of sports betting, you can bet online now on dadu online.

  • Attend Broadway shows. Solution: Broadway direct for the time being.

  • I want my girls to go to school and hang with their friends, chat with boys and eat lunch in the cafeteria like normal teenagers. Solution: Virtual is the only way to go right now for my girls but I am encouraging them to interact more so they feel less isolated.

  • I want birthday parties and weddings and baby showers. Solution: WAIT!

  • I want girls’ nights. Solution: Zoom cocktails for now.

Like my mom has always taught me, where there is a will there is way. Maybe the way is a little different but I’d rather learn new ways than to just feel like I’m always missing out. I don’t really want much just a return to normal. These are small goals that I can actively work towards and be happy. These past few months have taught me that I am resilient and strong but I’m also exhausted and I need people. I miss you all.

What are your Easy New Year’s Resolutions to Change Your Life for the Better?

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Hilaria Baldwin and husband Alec Baldwin pose at the opening night of the revival of Ivo van Hove's "West Side Story"on Broadway at The Broadway Theatre on February 20, 2020 in New York City.
EntertainmentLatina

In Defense of Hilaria Baldwin and her Spanish Accent

by Deborah Cruz
written by Deborah Cruz

It’s taken me a week to write this post because I had to suss through all of my feelings on it. Sounds crazy, right? Why do I need to have feelings on it? It’s not me. At first, I was really pissed that people were mad because why is it anyone’s business where Hilaria Baldwin is from or what her ethnicity is? Who is she hurting? But, something wouldn’t let me post that 1st version because I just felt like there was more that I needed to know. Then, I realized, I was identifying with her, as I am a white Latina. The thing is, she’s not a white Latina or a Latina at all. We’re both Americans with dark hair and fair complexions but that is where the similarities end because while I actually do have Spanish roots, she does not.

In Defense of Hilaria Baldwin and her Spanish Accent from a White Latina

In defense of Hilaria Baldwin, I watched her Instagram videos clarifying and explaining herself to the general public because some troll on Twitter was making fun of her seemingly coming and going Spanish accent. I was offended for her, not by her. Also, as someone who has been attacked by trolls themselves and has had her own Latina-ness publicly called into question, I was triggered.

READ ALSO: If Latinas Dancing offends you, you might be a racist.

I’ll be honest with you; I don’t know Hilaria Baldwin. We’re not friends. I didn’t grow up with her. I don’t know anything about her, other than that she is married to Alec Baldwin and had a bunch of beautiful babies with Latino-inspired names. She is called Hilaria, so as a Latina, I assumed she herself is Hispanic or Latina (yes, there is a difference). She looks like me; white skin, dark hair, and eyes, and spoiler alert: It’s hard being a white Latina. I don’t know if she’s Hispanic or not but she could be.

That’s right, I said it. It always has been hard and it probably always will be hard being one ethnicity and looking different than the typical stereotype that Americans expect. You think it’s hard being Latino or Black in America because people can see the color of your skin and you’re a target from the minute they see you coming? It is. It’s true. You can’t hide it. You can try. They make creams, treatments and cosmetic surgeries for just these kinds of things. People are dying trying to be white for some reason. Somehow, white has become a barometer for beauty to many. Not to me. To me, beauty radiates from within.

Yet here I am, speaking out

In Defense of Hilaria Baldwin and her Spanish Accent from a White Latina

I am a first-generation Mexican American. I am a white Latina. At first glance, you’d never consider that I’m a minority. Born in Ohio, raised in Chicago. I don’t have a thick Spanish accent. If you see me, most people have guessed that I’m Greek or Italian. When I was a child, I looked like I didn’t belong to either of my parents. My mom has blue eyes and fair skin and light hair. My dad is golden brown, with dark hair and eyes. He speaks with a thick accent, then again, so does my mom (just his is from Mexico and hers is from Tennessee.) My daughters have blonde hair and blue eyes. They are Latina. Latinos come in all shapes, sizes and shades from alabaster to bronze, so I make no assumptions.

READ ALSO: Racism in America

I was raised on two languages, in two countries with two cultures. I love them both. I am proud of them both. But I was made to feel, by people who didn’t know me, who judged me based on the color of my skin, that I didn’t belong to either. I was always made to feel like I was lacking in both and needed to prove myself. I had to work twice as hard to fit in. Until I decided I just wasn’t going to care about what anyone else, except for those who either gave birth to me or I gave birth to, thought. It was very hard to navigate my formative years.

Why is it so impossible to believe that Hilaria Baldwin could have a Spanish accent?

The result is that when I am around other Latinos, my accent does become thicker because I feel freer to speak Spanish in a way that is more authentic to those around me because they understand me. I actually think that is pretty normal for most people who grew up speaking more than one language. Latino/ Hispanic is not just a label it is way of life. It radiates from within, it comes from your soul and is a receipt on all of your love for your Latino heritage and the Latino way of life. It’s a privilege.

But, I live in the United States and I have been through many years of university, I can speak 3 other languages, so when I speak English, I sound completely American. However, I go between speaking English and Spanish often (so much so that I could count Spanglish as my fifth language), probably from the years of translating it in my head when speaking to my dad or my grandparents, or celebrating Spanish mass or enjoying my childhood, constantly set to a Banda soundtrack and yes, sometimes, I forget the English word for some things, despite it being my first language, especially if I’m excited or nervous.

 This White Latina doesn’t have a Spanish accent but I occasionally forget the English word for things. It happens.

While my friends call me Debi and I was born in Ohio, my full name is Deborah. Deh-BOr-AH. Maybe you say it De-BRA but that’s not how I grew up hearing it. I grew up hearing it in my dad’s rich, thick Spanish accent. Or my mother’s sweet, slow southern accent, calling out for Debi Sue when it was time for dinner. My point is that your name does not determine your culture, race or ethnicity. We are who we are and it’s not anyone else’s business or right to judge whether or not we are enough to prove it to you.

READ ALSO: Judging people based on the color of their skin is a “you” problem not a “they” problem.

I watched Hilaria’s Instagram videos and whether she is Spanish or not, as a Latina, I am not offended. When brown and black people try to “fit in” it’s called assimilation and everyone is cool with that because it’s America and that’s what is expected (always conformity) but the minute a Caucasian dares to speak another language with even a hint of an accent (from living in another country) everyone is up in arms calling bullshit. Madonna’s acquired British accent as a grown-ass woman, I call bullshit on. Someone who spent their formative years living in another country and speaking another language, perfectly plausible. My point is why are all the white people mad that Hilaria might or might not be Spanish? Who gives any fucks? We are in the middle of a pandemic? There are still kids in cages and black men being shot dead in the streets by cops. Hilaria’s (or Hilary’s) accent is the least of any of our worries. If she faked being Latina, the only one who should really be upset is her husband because he was duped thinking he married a Spaniard woman when he didn’t.

If she were trying to dupe people for some gain, appropriating the culture as a native Latino or making a mockery of it and the people, without any of the weight that comes with it, I would be pissed. But I don’t feel that is what she is doing. In fact, I am way more offended by American’s celebrating Cinco de Mayo as an excuse to get wasted, dressing in panchos and straw sombreros at frat parties and sharing those Mexican Word of the day memes than I am by Hilaria Baldwin letting people believe she’s Hispanic. I feel like she loves the culture so much and wants to be a part of it so badly that she let people have their assumptions. If she respects and admires the culture so much so that she has learned the language, lives in the country and embraces its history and people, what is the problem?

READ ALSO: When Racism Happens at School

People assumed that she was from a Spanish speaking European city because she speaks Spanish. Who actually created the issue? Why does it even matter? It isn’t like the situation with Rachel Dolezal who not only pretended to be a black woman but actually took a job that should have belonged to an actual black person. Rachel Dolezal actively lied and stole opportunities from black people; she intentionally hurt them. Hilaria didn’t clear up an assumption; these are different things. So here I am, in defense of Hilaria Baldwin and her Spanish Accent from a White Latina to you.

In the end, Hilaria Baldwin is not a white Latina or a Hispanic woman. She is a Bostonian who speaks Spanish fluently and happens to look like a Spaniard but more than that she is someone who is part of the Spanish community, maybe not by birth or blood but by choice. In the end, why is the world so offended? I’m a Latina and I don’t feel betrayed or hurt by her wanting to belong to my culture. If you are, ask yourself why?

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Exhausted mom and dad asleep on couch covered in toys while toddler reaches out. Best Gifts to Get New Moms or Any Moms
Mom Life

Best Gifts to Get New Moms or Any Moms for Practically Free

by Deborah Cruz
written by Deborah Cruz

This is not your traditional gift guide for moms. It’s not specific to cool moms, crunchy moms, tech moms, teen moms or even girl moms. Nope, this is the perfect gift guide for all moms of all ages with kids of all ages and any sex. These are proven gifts for moms that are approved by, you guessed it, moms. But before I tell you the Best gifts to get new moms or any moms, read below.

Let me tell you a little story, the other day, I was talking to my therapist (physical, not mental) who just became a dad for the third time. Nice guy. Cute kids, 3 under 3 and an amazing wife who just gave birth to all three children in three years. They’re both probably in their early 30’s. Our conversation inspired me to write this gift guide because, from my perspective of the hard-earned wisdom of the school of been there done that, I realized that men are clueless.

READ ALSO: Gift Guide for Women who love tech and pretty things

I’m not saying this in a mean or ugly way. I’m saying it in the way that men are from Mars and women are apparently, from Venus ( more like women are from earth and men have no clue).  While we may be on similar paths in life, they are most definitely perpendicular and not parallel. We ay accidentally cross paths in our way of thinking occasionally but for the most part, we are miles away. We interest but it’s not the same life, not even the same world.

I’m not trying to bad mouth this guy or any man for that matter, I’m just saying that we don’t share the same experience. At all.  A few years ago, I was shocked to find out that men are never afraid to walk alone, outside after dark like EVER. Never. They are not phased in the slightest. Meanwhile, I’ve never felt comfortable walking alone at night and sometimes not even in the daytime, depending on where I am and what I’m doing. Men are fearless because they are at the top of the food chain. They’re doing the accosting. No one is accosting them. Women, well, it’s the men’s world and we’re just living it, unfortunately. Forget about the fact that we’ve given birth to them ( they’ve forgotten) and just know that they view us as other if they see us at all.

READ ALSO: Standing up for my girls no matter the cost

My therapist and I were talking about how they’ve been having a hard time sleeping ( 3-week old baby) and he said, “she’s been a bit tired and grumpy” ( no shit, new baby exhaustion is real especially when you’re chasing after 2 other toddlers in a damn pandemic.) Anyway, I digress. My point is that she was a little curt because she was new mom tired and she needed help.

Somehow we got on the subject of people needing space (an hour or so to decompress from their family and work, how I walk for an hour every day alone). I gently suggested that on the weekends he let his wife nap and his life would be easier because a rested mom is a happier one. He thought I was suggesting for him to get some time to himself. He was telling me how important his soccer weekends were to him. I gently, reminded him, “Yeah, your wife needs that too. Moms always need time, even if it’s just to drink our coffee or run to Target. Just because we don’t complain doesn’t mean we’re not tired.”

He answered me, “No, she loves being a mom.” That’s when I realized that it was my civic duty to save this perfectly decent man from fucking up his marriage.

READ ALSO: How Scrambled Eggs Saved my Marriage

Dude we all love being a mom but we also love being ourselves, being treated as humans; seen as something other than the help. We are not the live-in nannies, who also cook and clean so that you can spend your weekends golfing, playing soccer or call of duty. Repeat after me; My wife loves her children but she needs breaks. I love her so I must give her the opportunity to rest and breathe. No one can run on full blast at all times without burning out.

In case you don’t believe me, that we are all exhausted, even those of us who love what we are doing and being a mom, I just received this text. She’s a mom and a doctor who has been working almost constantly lately treating CoVid patients in her overcapacity hospital.

“I worked overnight and slept for 2 hours so I could get up and entertain the kids. I’m exhausted. It would be so nice to have a minute where the kids aren’t telling me how bored they are or the husband wasn’t sulking about a couple of days without sex. I wish I could have half an hour to myself instead of trying to please everyone else.”

Best gifts to get new moms or any moms

A day of rest

Even God took a day off. Maybe it sounds too simple or maybe you just don’t want to do it because you’ve worked all week and you want your days off to be relaxing. Great, I get it but how is it fair that you get 2 days off a week and she gets no days off ever? Think about it. Split the days; 1 for each.

Quiet time alone

Take the kids somewhere; anywhere. Quiet time is in high demand and there is never enough of it. Just tell her to take an hour and put on her headphones, sit in the car or go for a walk and enjoy not being the person in charge of meeting everyone’s needs for just a little while.

A spa day

This is a real luxury because, after kids, money and time are both things moms never have enough of. Moms tend to always put themselves last and a spa day, is not only good for the body, but it’s also pretty amazing for the soul too. Let her be a woman of leisure for just a few hours. Plus, relaxing is a superego boost for moms and if she feels prettier, sexier, more relaxed…you will benefit from it.

A girl’s night

I didn’t get a girl’s night until my girls were already 5 and 3-years-old. I kept telling myself that I didn’t need it. Then, my husband basically forced me out one night and it was the best thing ever. Moms need that time to remember who they are as a woman, not just someone’s wife and mommy.

Bring home or cook dinner once a week

Pssst, hey you, we hate cooking after feeding picky eaters all day, coaxing them to sleep and chasing them around. It’s just one more thing on a super long list of things we have to do and we don’t like it. Please handle it occasionally. You will be our hero. Do the dishes and put the kids to sleep on your own…your imagination is the only thing holding you back, baby.

An hour to work out

Being a mom is so busy that we really lose sight of ourselves. One day, we realize we’ve become bottom of our own very long list of things to care about. Working out not only provides us with some time alone, but we also get to feel those endorphins and feel productive and beautiful. Yes, sweating makes us feel like we are part of the solution, especially when we’re feeling overwhelmed and particularly mommish.

A space of her own

It doesn’t need to be huge. It just needs to have a door and a lock. An office, craft room, or workout area. We just really need something that is ours.

Volunteer to do some of the chores

Bringing home dinner is one thing but if you put babies to sleep, walk dogs, fold laundry and unload the dishwasher, there might be some more babies or at the very least some A+ effort baby-making-like actions being initiated.

Consider her feelings

Ask yourself, what would my wife do? You want to go out with the guys for 1, 2 or 10 beers after work on Friday night. Ask yourself, does my wife need me to come home and give her a break? Is she going insane because the only people she’s been talking to all day are under 3 feet and don’t know any words? Does she need to hand off the littles to me and regroup? Yes, the answer is yes. No matter what you might think, no matter how amazing she is or how much she loves your children, the answer is yes because while she is a superwoman, she is only a human.

Ask her how her day has been and let her tell you

Talk to her. Not at her. Ask her questions. Listen to her answers. Let her vent. Give her a hug. Let her cry. Be tolerant. Be patient. Be kind. Most importantly, be understanding and know that she is probably really tired and very hungry.

Entertain the kids after dinner

She made dinner. She bathed the kids. Offer to put them to bed. Offer to read them stories. Take one thing off of her super piled high mom plate. Be proactive. It will make your relationship with your wife and your kids better. You are part of the team, not a spectator. These are truly the best gifts to get new moms and moms everywhere of all ages and it’s free, with the exception of a little effort.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah and wishing you lots of peace and love in your marriage and your parenthood. You can do it. You just need to want to. Let’s be honest, as a mom, I would prefer a gift of the middle of the night feeding duty, dishwashing, folding and putting away laundry, baby wrangling and time alone to breathe, eat, play my music at full blast over diamonds and bags any day of the year. That’s saying a lot because I love my diamonds and bags but time for me, consideration, and respect for what I do from the ones I love, is worth more than anything else.

As a mom, what do you consider the best gifts to get new moms? Best gifts to get moms? Do you think the best gifts for moms are free?

 

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Disney+ GODMOTHERED still. Isla Fischer as Mackenzie and Willa Skye as Mia, daughter, Boston Common
Disney

Disney+ GODMOTHERED the Fairy Tale Reimagined Inclusively

by Deborah Cruz
written by Deborah Cruz

Looking for a family-friendly Christmas movie to enjoy with the whole family on a Friday night while decorating the tree or baking Christmas cookies? I’ve got you covered. We just watched Disney+ GODMOTHERED. It was the perfect fit for this girl mom and dad and our teen girls. It was refreshing and super cute with a new twist on the old fairy tale. Disney+ GODMOTHERED the fairy tale reimagined inclusively for everyone.

Disney+ GODMOTHERED promo logo, Disney, Black with wand

Set in Boston (one of our favorite cities, check out or visit Boston with teens guide if you’ve never been) at Christmastime, GODMOTHERED is a comedy about Eleanor, a young, inexperienced fairy godmother-in-training (Jillian Bell) who upon hearing that her chosen profession is facing extinction, decides to show the world that people still need fairy godmothers. Finding a mislaid letter from a 10-year-old girl in distress, Eleanor tracks her down and discovers that the girl, Mackenzie, is now a jaded and defeated 40-year-old single mom (Isla Fisher) working at a news station in Boston. Having lost her husband several years earlier, Mackenzie has all but given up on the idea of “Happily Ever After,” but Eleanor is bound and determined to give Mackenzie a happiness makeover, whether she likes it or not.

As a modern-day feminist raising strong girls, GODMOTHERED was everything I wanted in a warm, fuzzy holiday movie. It’s about more than happy endings, it is about girl power, loving yourself first because the most important person you need to love you is yourself and the courage to keep going even when life feels like it has no happy endings left to give. Be brave enough to make your own happy ending; there is no right or wrong, there is just happiness and it can look different for every person.

Disney+ GODMOTHERED still. Isla Fischer as Mackenzie, Boston, Jillian Bell as Eleanor the fairy godmother sitting in the snow

Eleanor seeks out Mackenzie to give her the typical happy ending that we’ve all been raised to believe is what we want and need. Meet the prince, marry the prince and live happily ever after but life isn’t a fairy tale and sometimes things don’t turn out the way we hoped or planned; sometimes happiness is something other than typical but equally as magical. Sometimes the happily ever after comes after surviving the hard parts of life. Maybe the hard parts make us able to recognize and appreciate the good things.

READ ALSO: Disney’s The Nutcracker and the Four Realms

Mackenzie meets Hugh Prince ( Venezuelan actor, Santiago Cabrera) and he’s a great guy who she works with. Over the course of the movie, she realizes that she does like the prince but she doesn’t need him. Her true love is her daughters and best friend. True love is everywhere if we’re willing and able to look past the expectation.

Disney+ GODMOTHERED still. Santiago Cabrera as Hugh and Isla Fisher as Mackenzie Walsh in GODMOTHERED, Boston

In Eleanor’s quest to give Mackenzie what she thinks will make her happy, all the while proving that fairy godmothers are not obsolete, both women learn a valuable lesson; we all have worth and happy endings come in all different kinds of ways. There is not just one ending that makes us happy. Happiness is in the heart of the beholder.

Disney+ GODMOTHERED still. Isla Fischer as Mackenzie, Boston, Jillian Bell as Eleanor the fairy godmother sitting in the snow

GODMOTHERED is endearing, funny and warm. At times it feels as though the happily ever after narrative is being forced upon us, but isn’t that the case in real life? As women, haven’t we all felt that narrative thrust upon us by society, our mothers and grandmothers before us? In the end, GODMOTHERED reflects the change and evolution of girls and women in our world today. We can do and be anything we want. We can have our careers, families, love and happiness too.

Disney+ GODMOTHERED still. Isla Fischer as Mackenzie, Boston, Jillian Bell as Eleanor the fairy godmother sitting in the snow

This updated fairytale is subtly empowering like the soft breeze of generations of women past lifting us up and giving us the courage to pursue our own path of happiness, whether that includes sharing our lives with a prince, another princess, children, alone or immersing ourselves in our careers. We make our own happiness, we only need to be brave enough to take a chance and go for it.

Will you be watching Disney + GODMOTHERED this holiday season?

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ACEs, three people who saved my life, childhood, adverse childhood experiences
Parenting

How You Can Help a Child Survive the Pandemic

by Deborah Cruz
written by Deborah Cruz

This post is made possible with support from the American Academy of Pediatrics through a cooperative agreement with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. All opinions are my own.

2020 has been a crazy year. Things have happened to all of us that we never could have imagined. As an adult, it’s been trying. It’s hard to get your bearings when the world feels like it’s on fire. I can only imagine how hard this must be on our children; struggling to make sense of everything and trying to function in this new normal. It’s not normal for any of us. 

I’ve stayed vigilant these past 9 months since the pandemic began, trying to keep our lives right side up. It takes effort, work, ingenuity, and creativity. I’ve spent the past 15 years trying to help my daughters avoid the pitfalls of ACEs because I suffered them myself and know the effect they can have on a child.  Hopefully, our vigilance as parents being safe nurturing caregivers will help our girls fair better should the pandemic be traumatic.

READ ALSO: Sending Kids Back to School during a Pandemic

 ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) are negative childhood experiences that impact children and can have long-lasting effects. There are 10 ACEs, and they fall into 3 categories: 1) Abuse (physical, emotional, or sexual); 2) Neglect (physical or emotional); and 3) Household dysfunction (mental illness, domestic violence, divorce, incarcerated relative, substance abuse). Thankfully, ACEs can be prevented or mitigated when adults and children have strong support systems through individuals or organizations. 

There are a lot of traumatic things that can happen in a child’s life—including death, pandemics, or natural disasters—over which we have no control, but ACEs can be prevented either directly with help from another person, or indirectly through policy, education, or society changes such as paid family leave or prison sentencing laws. 

Luckily, I had adults in my life who helped me navigate those ACEs in my life and get through them. Since then, my goal has always been to be an advocate for children and to pay forward the kindness that was given to me by the three people who saved my life without ever knowing it, even more so this holiday season.

READ ALSO: What Every Mom Needs to Know about Coronavirus

This is not something difficult. I’m not special. But being there for a kid when they need it most can make a huge difference in their life as it did for me.  We all have the capability to be kind to others, to help others in need, especially children. Experiencing an adverse childhood experience can be traumatic and can set the tone for the quality of life going forward. Having a support system in place can mean the difference between moving through and past hard things in life or getting stuck or even regressing. 

ACEs, three people who saved my life, childhood, adverse childhood experiences

This year, coronavirus has taught me a lot of invaluable life lessons. The most important is how important it is to be able to ask for and give help when needed. But kids can’t always do that. Just the way toddlers can’t always verbalize what they feel because of their lack of vocabulary, bigger kids and teens still have difficulty expressing their emotions, especially during a pandemic. It’s hard to turn to the adults in your life for help when they are crumbling under the enormous weight of an international health crisis. We’re all trying our best but sometimes, as parents, just like our kids, we have to be willing to ask for and accept help. 

ACEs, three people who saved my life, childhood, adverse childhood experiencesThe most important thing is to create safe, stable, and nurturing relationships and environments for our own children and the children around us. This is the foundation upon which their entire lives will be built. This foundation is not only essential to lifelong health and happiness but could even prevent ACEs from happening in the first place. 

For my own children, I check in daily; sometimes hourly. A big part of being there for them is being present in a time when, honestly, a lot of us just want to check out. Another thing I did was put both of my girls into virtual therapy. I am diabetic (underlying condition) so we have only left the house a handful of times in the past 9 months. The girls are doing school virtually. I’m doing grad school virtually. I’m working virtually. We’ve been wearing masks and quarantining for a long time. There have been no family visits. No friends to talk to in-person or at birthday parties. There was no family Thanksgiving celebration. Our world is pretty much the 4 of us who live in this house and as much as we love one another, it is a lot. I didn’t spend all these years doing everything so my girls didn’t experience ACEs just for the aftermath of a global pandemic to mess everything up so I’ve learned to pivot. I know my limits, and I’m not too proud to ask for help.

Therapy helps my daughters talk to someone other than me and express any anxieties or fears they might have and don’t want or can’t talk to me about. It’s a pressure release. I’ve also encouraged the girls to video chat with friends and family and encouraged my husband to initiate his own conversations with them. I want them to feel connected even when we’re physically not and feel heard when the world is so noisy. 

I’ve noticed my daughters’ friends also experiencing these same issues as my girls. I’ve always been the mom who the kids know they can talk to about anything. I’m the mom who isn’t afraid to go to school and speak up for the kid getting bullied. I’m the mom who if I see your child struggling or reaching out for attention, I will tell you. I know it might not be popular with my daughters, but if I see a child talking about depression or suicide (needing help), I will and have reached out to their parents or school officials. I can’t ignore it when it can mean the difference between life and death. The thing is you never know what kind of desperation is behind a social media post (especially during coronavirus), and I just don’t feel comfortable taking that chance. I know it’s not a lot, but it’s a small way that I can provide kindness and advocate on behalf of the children in my life.

READ ALSO: Surviving Child Abuse

Being there for children is free. It only takes a willingness to help, time, and genuine concern. This pandemic holiday season, I am going to make sure to send personalized cards to the kids in our lives to let them know they are not alone and we are here to support them. I am also going to take some time to personally call and check in on some of them. I’ll also be checking their social media accounts including the fake accounts their parents know nothing about. The holidays are always a hard time of year for some, but I think this year is hard probably for most. 

My gift to the children in my life this year is to be one of their three if they need me, like the three people who were there for me when I needed them most. If I can help a child get through these uncertain times by being part of an unconditional support system and providing some stability, that would be a gift to me.

We’ve all had our three (or more) people in our lives who’ve been there to help us when we needed them most. This holiday season, let’s all pay it forward. Who were the three people who helped create a safe, stable, and nurturing relationship or environment when you were growing up? What will you do to be one of a child’s three this holiday season?

 

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Life is a Tik Tok Trend, how to fall gracefully
Humor

When your Real Life is a Tik Tok Trend

by Deborah Cruz
written by Deborah Cruz

Maybe you’ve been wondering where I’ve been. Maybe not. We’ve all got our own shit going on in this pandemic, I get it. I really fucking do. But in case you were wondering, I fell…again. Ooops. And in true, Debi fashion, I didn’t just fall. I fell in a way that not only ended with me having a concussion but a broken middle toe, at the proximal. I mean who the fuck breaks their middle toe. There are 4 other motherfucking toes protecting it. And it’s not like I have long toes. I’ve got sturdy ass Flintstone toes.

I never dreamt my real life would be a TikTok trend.

Oh No, Oh No, Oh no, no, no, no, no. That’s what I heard when my pinky toe caught the cord of my MacBook Air. And you thought being a writer wasn’t dangerous work. Pfft. You haven’t met me. I can even make stepping off a curb deadly. Not silent. I cried like a baby. But real fucking deadly. It was one of those moments in life, I’ve had a few; when you know something is put into motion that you cannot stop. That moment of sheer terror and uncontrollability.

READ ALSO: How a Curb took me Out of My Sister’s Wedding and Straight to the ER

I’m just going to give you a play by play because, seriously, if I had watched in on TikTok with that damn “Oh no” sound that I favorited, it would have been epic. It would have been so epic that I would have probably been crying from laughter but as it were, it was real life and happening to me so all I can do is be thankful that it wasn’t worse than it was.

I had been working all day on work deadlines and it was the last week of my Social Media Marketing class; there was a final project on the line. The Big Guy picked up dinner so I could work. He had just walked through the door and yelled upstairs that dinner was there. I was thrilled because I hadn’t stopped to eat all day. In my excitement to relieve my hangry headache, I jumped off my bed and promptly caught my pinky toe of my right foot on my laptop cord. That was the moment I knew shit was definitely going to go sideways. Know how I knew? Well, if you remember correctly, in 2015 it was my right leg that was the Judas who betrayed me and took out my left leg. Also, on that day, I also had not eaten. Apparently, hunger and walking is not a combination I have yet mastered.

Back to the story, my pinky toe reached out and grabbed hold of the cord. I lost my balance. To my right was a bookshelf, to my left the sharp corner of my bed, in front of me ( to my right) a movable hanging chair with a basket full of clean not put away laundry, an opened door, (to my left) 2 more baskets of paired socks and more, you guessed it, laundry. #momlife

As my life was flashing before my eyes and the “oh No” TikTok sound played in my head, I had a true red wire, blue wire moment and I had about 3 seconds to decide which extremity I was willing to sacrifice to the broken mom gods. In the end, fear made me hesitate and, long story slightly shorter, my head broke the fall. Well, that’s not entirely true. My middle toe broke the fall down and my head broke the fall forward once the Benedict Arnold hanging chair betrayed me and swerved when I fell with outstretched arm (that was at the time already being treated for bicep and rotator cuff tendonitis) and kept right on falling.

Still with me? Pinky toe plotted with a laptop cord to murder me. Lost balance. Started to fall, reached for help towards the hanging chair only to be rejected and fall through the chair. Topple towards the left. Definitely did not want to re-break left leg. Nope. Didn’t want to re- dislocate left arm. Re-breaking right arm wasn’t appealing so I fell down. Broke middle toe at proximal. Heard it crunch under the weight of my body. Yep, insult to injury #1. Then, fell forward with the full force of 220 pounds headfirst into the side of the door. Then insult to injury #2, the aforementioned basket of clothes fell on top of me. Immediately, a bump the size of a softball popped up on my head. I now, looked like Frankenstein’s ugly cousin, as was obvious by my lopsided Fivehead. I also accrued multiple scrapes and bruises in the fall. More importantly, my toe was making a crunching sound and I couldn’t walk on it. We thought maybe it was jammed so I proceeded to pull on it. Yep, I’m the idiot. Spoiler alert; it wasn’t jammed, it was broken. Or maybe it was jammed and I broke it by pulling on it with a concussion.

You’d think that was enough excitement for one night right? Nope. This is the gift that keeps giving. I am still sporting a putrid green vomit colored bruised on my entire left side of my forehead. I’m heading back to the orthopedic surgeons tomorrow to check on healing because we found a surprise cyst in my toe bone that needs to be monitored. LUCKY. Aren’t you jealous? On top of all of that, guess who is back in physical therapy for that newly reinjured rotator cuff and bicep tendonitis. Because you know the place a diabetic most wants to be during a global pandemic? Obviously, every doctor’s office ever so I can be exposed to as many germs of possible during cold and flu season. Anyway, that was my November. Of course, there was also an auto accident in which my husband’s SUV was completely totaled and he ended up in the ER not once but twice for injuries including a concussion. Yep, we’re the concussion couple; our poor children. Fucking 2020, I hate you.

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8 Practical Ways to Redesign Your Life During a Pandemic
Life in the time of Coronavirus

8 Practical Ways to Redesign Your Life During a Pandemic

by Deborah Cruz
written by Deborah Cruz

The past 9 months have felt like I’ve been stuck in one of the worst versions of Groundhog Day. Wake up. Change into my daytime pajamas. Don’t leave the house. Work from home. Assist in virtual learning. Do laundry. Sanitize. Sterilize. Do dishes. Cook. Try not to get CoVid. Look at the same 4 walls day in and day out. Repeat. I need change or I’m going to lose my mind.  I’ve been thinking of practical ways to redesign your life during a pandemic just to break up the monotony.

READ ALSO: I miss you most at 6 feet apart.

They say that the best way to predict your future is to create it. I’m a master of my own destiny kind of gal so, I’m down for changing my perspective and my situation. I’m also not fond of being told no. Sometimes you just need to take matters into your own hands, grab life by the reins and saddle up for change. Improving your physical and emotional well-being starts with taking action.

Instead of hoping that life will just get better, here are 8 practical ways to redesign your life during a pandemic.

 

  1. Work on your fitness routines

The Covid-19 pandemic has tied people down to their homes for most of 2020. It’s easy to sacrifice your fitness goals for the comfort of a sedentary lifestyle. I had to give up my Y membership because it wasn’t safe or pragmatic during a pandemic. Thankfully, there’s another option, simple at-home workouts. You’ll feel better and it will help you stay on top of your health and wellness. Lack the motivation to hit the gym? Why not try something new like cycling or roller skating? According to experts, exercise is healthy for your mental and physical health and all of us can use a little more mental and physical health. You can also incorporate using fitness supplements like Ostarine uk that would provide your body the right nutrients for your fitness journey.

  1. Revise your goals

Many people will agree that goals are instrumental when it comes to achieving success. A person who is not driven by goals may find it challenging to accomplish great things in life because they lack direction. Setting the wrong goals probably won’t lead you to your dreams either. While goals are meant to push you to achieve your dreams, you’ll need to change your goals as your dreams evolve. Therefore, reposition yourself according to the chain of circumstances surrounding your life at any given time. It’s better to focus on goals that will help you become a better version of yourself. Finally, understand the possible challenges that could mar the achievement of your goals and try to overcome them.

 

  1. Be focused

Smart people always stay focused. Obviously, this is easier said than done in the middle of the new normal. Set aside some time to center your focus; this is a crucial part of redesigning your life. Carefully consider the true desires of your heart and ensure that you are heading in the right direction. At any moment when you realize you are getting distracted, do what you can to stay on track. It starts with identifying your goals and using them as a guide. One thing that distracts you includes negative thoughts, and you should try as much as possible to eliminate them. You can dedicate about 30 minutes of your day trying to boost your focus by engaging in meditation and mindfulness to try and evict negativity.

 

  1. Learn to say no

External demands can sometimes conflict with your personal interest, but you have to be bold and stand by your sense of judgment. Learn to say no to things that don’t align with goals and aspirations. By paying attention and listening to your inner voice, you can make well-informed decisions and position yourself for success. Moving with the crowd is probably the last thing you want to do if you are on a mission to turn things around in your life. Although sometimes you may feel like you are out of touch with reality, it makes a lot of sense to follow your instincts.

  1. Revamp your beauty goals

Feeling pretty is one way to increase your confidence and redesign your life in that regard. Yes, I know that most of us are rarely leaving the house these days but I’ve got to say, getting dressed in real clothes and fixing my hair and makeup makes me feel more human, more put together and more confident just for me. Today, makeup can not only transform your features but also your state of mind. For example, if you want to improve your smile, you can get braces, invisible braces or veneers. I know for a fact that family dentistry is important to know because it addresses oral health at every stage of life. I’ve done braces as a teenager but dental veneers are an effective cosmetic procedure.  According to orthodontics,  that can cover up aesthetic flaws and improve the look of teeth instantly. If this is something you’re considering, ask your dentist how much veneers cost compared to the other options. Beauty is not just pain, apparently, it also can be expensive.

 

  1. Re-evaluate your relationships

How happy are you with your current relationships? Are they motivating you to be better or otherwise? While certain relationships could push you to be a better version of yourself, others could stunt your growth and personal development. Therefore, you need to re-evaluate your circle to see whether it serves a meaningful purpose in your life. For example, if you are someone who is looking forward to settling down with your partner anytime soon, ensure that the feeling is mutual. Be fully prepared for the next chapter of your life. Divorce rates are increasing drastically in the world because some partners don’t carefully examine their significant others before walking them down the aisle. To solve family-related conflicts, people should always think about mediate family law services which can help them out in solving their problems. Recognizing the importance of relationships is one of the most practical ways to redesign your life during a pandemic.

 

  1. Take charge of your finances

They say money can’t buy happiness, but neither can the lack of it. At a time when millions of people have lost their jobs due to COVID-19, re-examining your relationship with money is not a bad decision. With a solid financial standing, redesigning your life is much easier as you can buy what you need to live comfortably. Consider your monthly income and plan how to spend accordingly. Saving more and spending less is a smart financial strategy you may want to master, especially if you are a breadwinner. Invest like your life depends on it and set up an emergency fund to cater for unforeseeable circumstances such as the coronavirus pandemic. When you do that, you are designing your life for the best while preparing for the worst-case scenarios.

  1. Plan beforehand

Indeed, nobody knows tomorrow, but having a plan is a smart decision. Consider both best and worst-case scenarios and create a strategy for navigating it. For example, the coronavirus pandemic has heavily impacted the world’s tourism industry. And as avid travelers try to endure quarantine inconveniences, they can also plan their post-COVID trips. After all, there is a glimmer of hope that the coronavirus pandemic will soon be a thing of the past as top pharmaceutical companies like Pfizer are inching close to announcing a vaccine. All in all, one way to redesign your life is to stay one step ahead with a plan.

Generally, redesigning your life starts with getting your priorities straight and being consistent with your efforts. Don’t give up on yourself.

What tips would you add to these 8 practical ways to redesign your life during a pandemic?

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Okrut, social networking sites, Digital marketing, social media marketing
Tech

Orkut an Example of Why Small Dreams Always End in Failure

by Deborah Cruz
written by Deborah Cruz

Orkut is a now-defunct social networking site, that started out as a place to find and reconnect with old schoolmates. Think of it as Google’s version of Linkedin and Classmates.com having a baby social networking site. Orkut was named after its creator, Orkut Büyükkökten, launched in 2004 and shut down in 2014 and proved to be extremely popular in Brazil, so much so, that 90% of its page view was from users in Brazil. With all the makings of success,  Orkut is a lesson in why small dreams end in failure. Just like in life, in all things, we need to dream bigger and evolve to meet the changing world.

READ ALSO: How Warby Parker CoVid Proofed their Business

But what is Orkut? Just like all the other social networking sites you are used to now, Orkut’s original purpose for existing was so that users could find like-minded people who shared similar interests and communities via keyword search, descriptions and other users. Orkut came to fruition at the same time as industry giants Facebook and LinkedIn and before Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest were ever even thought of.

Orkut was ahead of its time.

It grew quickly, within the first four months, Orkut had over 50,000 communities. The whole premise and strategy for the success of Orkut were built on users wanting to connect and reconnect with friends, classmates, and acquaintances from school, work and neighborhood groups. On this fact alone, Orkut garnered 20 million users by 2012. In the time it existed, we learned a lot about using social networking sites for marketing.

The community structure of Orkut (like more modern-day social networking sites) spoke to the changing role of the digital consumer because it gave consumers a place to interact and engage in communities with like-minded individuals, often of the same demographic, eager to connect and interact. Presenting the right products and services to these people would be beneficial and less commercially than traditional marketing structures.

READ ALSO: Why WeChat is a Super App

Why would consumers be more interested in participating with these messages rather than a diffusion strategy because it feels more organic for the consumer? When social networking ads target consumers by their preferences by what they like, those promotions feel more like word of mouth recommendations from a friend versus an advertisement pushed on a consumer. It’s less intrusive and more welcomed.

As a networking site, Orkut was very popular with the more tech-savvy students and workers in those industries; something for the CES and Silicon Valley crowd. It was great for connecting and engaging with friends, as well as, leaders in the industry and mentors. Many people were eager to be a part of the Orkut community as much because of its prestigious, invite-only membership as its affiliation to Google.

Belonging to Orkut held a lot clout as it inferred that members were highly connected in the technology field.

The site itself was clean, simple and sophisticated for a networking site at the time. It was also easy to use, navigate and join communities. Friends were able to rate each other on how sexy, cool and trustworthy they found each other. This was a predecessor to today’s modern-day likes system.

Okrut, social networking sites, Digital marketing, social media marketing

Orkut also allowed users to make recommendations about products and services like YELP, allowing members to point fellow members in the right direction based on experiences. This was part of its charm for Brazilians.

Why Orkut was such a hit with the Brazilians:

  • Brazilians do a lot of online shopping with one of the strongest markets for online retailers.
  • They also happen to love social media.
  • Outdoor marketing isn’t allowed in Brazil, so you won’t be bombarded by billboards. However, it has made online marketing lucrative and effective.
  • In Brazil, 77% of Brazilian social media users like to shop online, most of them use social networking sites like Orkut to research products and of those, they are more likely to trust recommendations from someone they know online.
  • In Brazil, online marketing is not an option, it is the way to be successful. It’s about more than just existing online they need to actively engage via blogging, social gaming and online video that required in marketing campaigns. Online video is King and Okrut could have done a better job with the video.

Orkut proves that as technology evolves so must digital platforms to meet the needs of the user.

In the end, functionality problems killed the social networking site. Orkut had issues with its website, including blockages, limiting the number of friends and difficulties in loading and sharing photos. Once Orkut stopped meeting the needs of the culture and audiences they served, they became irrelevant and lost consumers. Eventually, they were replaced by newer sites. In the end, Orkut had all the makings of a successful networking site, however, it didn’t have a plan to evolve to meet user’s needs or the fortitude to push and grow beyond the original vision. Orkut simply got left behind by refusing to change. If you want your own business to succeed, you must deeply understand this 7 levels of business.

Were you familiar with Orkut? What is currently your favorite social networking site? Why or why not?

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Lifestyle

12 Tips To Help You Get Ready Fast Each Day

by Deborah Cruz
written by Deborah Cruz

The sad truth is that time is a luxury that most of us don’t have these days. From the moment some ladies get up to the time they go to sleep, they must cram their waking hours with many tasks and activities.

You’re likely reading this article because you don’t have much time to do things every day. It doesn’t matter if you work long hours or have to juggle work and family life. Keep reading this article to learn about 12 ways that’ll help you get ready fast each day:

1. Get your outfit ready the night before

There’s no denying that one of the most time-consuming things that anyone has to do is spend time picking some clothing to wear in the morning. Unfortunately, choosing the right outfit sometimes mean being late for work or any other appointments!

That’s why it makes sense to pick what you’re going to wear before going to bed the previous night. It doesn’t sound very spontaneous, but it means you won’t have to rush around in the morning to get dressed.

2. Opt for a low-maintenance hairstyle

Does your hairstyling routine take a large chunk out of your morning ritual? If so, you should probably consider opting for a low-maintenance hairstyle. Getting hair extensions is also a good option to save time in hair preparation and styling. The good news is there are plenty of hairstyles out there that you’ll like yet won’t take a long time to prepare each morning.

One such example is the French bob. They are chin-length hairstyles that are both chic and elegant and take less than five minutes to prepare. Here’s how to style a French-girl bob in 3 easy steps!

3. Wake up 15 minutes earlier each morning

You might think to yourself that waking up 15 minutes earlier each morning is a bit pointless. After all: what extra things can you do in those 15 minutes? Well, it turns out there’s quite a lot of things you can do in that time.

For instance, you’ve got extra time to spend under the shower to ‘wake yourself up’ properly. Or if you’ve got kids, you could use that time to get their lunch boxes ready for school and not panic about leaving late to drop them off!

4. Prepare your lunch the evening before

Do you take in some home-cooked or prepared food for your lunchtime at work? If so, it can add to your stress levels, preparing your lunch in the morning before setting out your front door.

That’s why it makes better sense to prepare your lunch during the previous evening. In the morning, all you have to do is grab it from your refrigerator and take it to work with you! Plus, your food will stay cooler for longer if you don’t have a fridge at work.

5. Use an in-shower moisturizer

Ladies, if you use a moisturizer as part of your morning ritual each day, you need to start using a product that you can apply to your skin while you shower. Why? The answer is simple: to save time, of course!

That’s because the conventional approach involves drying yourself off, applying moisturizer, and then waiting for it to ‘sink in’ before getting dressed. There are plenty of hydrating moisturizers you can use in the shower.

6. Use one product for your eyes, cheeks, and lips

Some women use a variety of beauty products each morning. As you can imagine, having several products you need to apply means more time spent on your morning beauty routine. You would be better off cutting down on the products you use to save time.

Of course, that doesn’t mean you must sacrifice enhancing your look each day. There are time-saving products you can use that’ll achieve the same results that you want each morning. One example is to use a single product for your eyes, cheeks, and lips.

7. Don’t set your alarm next to your bed

One of the most dangerous things any woman can do is set their alarm on their phone or alarm clock next to their bed. You should make sure your alarm goes off far away from your bed, such as on a dressing table.

Why? You have to make yourself get up to turn off that ‘annoying’ alarm! And once you’re awake and on your feet, you can immediately begin your morning ritual.

So, why is it dangerous to have your alarm go off within arm’s length of your bed? You could quickly turn it off and doze back to sleep. Telling yourself that you’ve got an extra ten minutes in bed is never a good idea!

8. Invest in a programmable coffee machine

Are you the type of lady that needs a morning cup of coffee before the day can truly begin? If the answer’s yes, and you enjoy drinking filtered coffee, you must invest in a programmable coffee machine.

They don’t cost much more than standard coffee machines. But, they’ll offer you a whole heap of benefits. For instance, you’ll have one less thing to organize in the morning, as you’ve already prepared the coffee in the filter during the previous night.

Secondly, once you’ve had your shower and got dressed, you can instantly enjoy a hot, fresh cup of coffee before leaving your home. And thirdly, if you’re feeling incredibly sleepy, you can always have a second cup of coffee if you’ve got enough time!

9. Don’t “catch up” on things on your phone

Whether ladies like to admit it or not, they will often waste time catching up on things on their smartphones before leaving their homes. If that’s something you are guilty of doing, it’s time to stop it.

If you travel to work via public transport, you can always check your email or social media accounts en-route. Otherwise, wait until you get to work before you start doing stuff on your phone.

You might wish to put your phone on silent or airplane mode to avoid distracting notifications during your morning ritual.

10. Keep everything you need in one place

It doesn’t matter whether you travel light to work each morning or need to take a few different bags with you. What does matter is you keep everything you need in one place in your home.

You’ll save plenty of time doing that versus searching your home for the things you need. Plus, you won’t have to start your day in a panic or feeling stressed out before the day’s proceedings have even begun!

11. Avoid working during your morning commute

A surprising amount of women start working before they’ve even got to their workplaces! You might assume that you’re productive in an otherwise monotonous journey. However, the only thing that will happen is you’ll end up feeling stressed out and even anxious.

Instead, use the time in your journey to prepare for the day ahead mentally. And if your trip is a long one, you could always sneak in some extra sleep if you’ve had a late night.

12. Avoid watching TV

The thing about watching something on TV as you get ready to leave your home is that it’s distracting. And it can be so distracting that you might end up losing track of time and potentially leaving your home late!

Instead, listen to the radio or your favorite morning routine playlist. If you’re thinking of doing the latter, consider adding some upbeat, high-tempo tunes to make you feel energized and ready for anything the day will throw at you.

Good luck!

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