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bigger women, beautiful women, all women, women, happy in your own skin, body acceptance, self-love, dating a bigger woman

What One Man Really Thinks About Dating Bigger Women

by Deborah Cruz

Yesterday, I read an article about what men think about dating bigger women. It was called 15 Thoughts Every Guy Has When Dating A Bigger Woman and kept waiting to read that it was a joke; a satirical piece written about society’s treatment of overweight women. Unfortunately, it was not. It was just one douchey guy’s opinion about men who date women who are not “hot” and rocking the unattainable, bullshit body stereotype that media would have you believe is real. It’s not. Even the skitches you see with those bodies in magazine spreads, don’t have those body types. They have photoshop. There may be 1% of 18 –year-olds who are rocking that body without medical assistance.

As a rule, women have been fighting men’s traditional stereotype of “hot” since the dawn of time. In fact, many a woman has developed eating disorders and poor self body-image to adhere to society’s standard of beauty. Let’s face it, in the United States, skinny still is the determining factor of whether or not a woman is considered hot. If you doubt my assessment, just read the article written in The Richest.  This guy is everything that is wrong with the world. He is the oppressor of women and should be called out as such.

Jim Hogue’s bullet points about why dating bigger women is settling for less than:

“Lots of times you see a guy, he could be normal sized or he could be overweight himself, with a woman that is a bit overweight. When that happens a bunch of things go through a guy’s mind. On the one hand you might feel a little bad for the guy, but on the other hand you might think that he was really in love, or at least was with someone he really liked. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all.”

Apparently, men who date bigger women are to be pitied.

His List of 15 thoughts every guy has when dating bigger women.

Your Date is Tough

Well, a guy that dates a plus-sized girl is usually not one of those guys. This guy wants a girl to hang out with that is tough, and can take care of herself. This is the kind of woman that mowed the lawn when she was growing up and went fishing with her dad. Maybe that is not the kind of girl that you imagine hanging out with, but hey, to each his own.


My Girl Can Cook

So maybe this goes without saying, I don’t know, but I am going to say it anyway. Big girls usually get big for a reason, and usually that reason has something to do with food. While it might be fun to be out clubbing with some hot woman, it is just as fun, and maybe more fun to the right guy, to stay at home and have a woman cook for him and take care of him.


Calorie Counting is Out

So we have all been there. You get out of work and have had a long day, and you are totally starving. You want to order a large Pepperoni pizza from the pizza joint, the kind they say feeds 4 people and you want to eat all of it all by yourself. Well, this is no problem at all with the plus-sized girlfriend; just give her a ring and tell her that you are on your way home and are picking up a large pie. The only problem is you are going to have to buy two.


It is Good for His Confidence

Some guys just lack confidence. They don’t feel ready to ask out the women that they truly desire. They need to work their way up so to speak. I know that may sound cruel, but this is about what guys think when they date plus-sized women.


He Might Like Them Better

While so many people look at a guy with a plus-sized woman and feel kind of bad for him, very few actually seem to understand that a lot of guys actually really like women that look this way. To each his own, people like what they like and there are a lot odder things that people are into than that.


They Are Easy to Talk To

One of the main things a guy dating a bigger chick is often thinking is how easy his girl is to talk to. This may seem like something that is not important to many guys, but after hanging out with a lot of uptight women, a girl that can relax and talk is a breath of fresh air. Let’s face it, so many women that look traditionally hot have never really learned the art of conversation, and most of them are not that funny. A plus-sized woman is the exact opposite. They are used to working their personality to make up for what many guys perceive to be flaws.  Most girls that are overweight tend to be really fun, and easy to talk to about pretty much anything. A guy that dates a normal-sized girl is not used to that at all.


**Oh look, this asshole managed to completely insult ALL women in one single paragraph! ***


Picking a Place to Eat is Easy

You want to go get some wings and some fries and watch the game at a sports bar and she wants to go to that new hip place and get Thai food. Or it could be that you go to order pizza and you want sausage and onion and she wants feta and greek olives?  Sometimes that whole scene can turn into an enormous fight when you are dating a chick that is average-sized. Well, if you are dating someone that is plus-sized, then you don’t have to worry about this a whole lot. She is going to probably be willing to go pretty much anywhere you want her to, at any time.


The Cuddling is the Best

There are some things that are simply not as fun when you are hanging out with a skinny woman. Like what you ask?  Cuddling a skinny woman is no fun at all. It feels like you are snuggling with your 12-year-old brother.  Not so if you are dating a plus- sized woman. In fact, once you start to cuddle her, you might not want to stop. It really is that good. Overweight women should hire themselves out as professional cuddlers. Oh, and also they are willing. A plus-sized girl is going to tend to be happy for that sort of attention, no doubt about that at all. All you have to do is lay down on the couch and look at her in a sweet way, and you will get your cuddle going before you know it.


She is a Built in Work-Out Buddy

A thin chick probably has a pretty stingy workout set routine; and not only that, she might be in better shape than you are. Not so if you are dating an overweight chick. She is probably going to be up for trying pretty much anything that you are into when it comes to training or working out. Sure, she might lag a little bit at first, but all that does is take a lot of pressure off your shoulders, and that is never a bad thing.


There is Less Pressure on How You Look

if you are dating a plus-sized woman. This is a whole new world: all of sudden kicking around the house all Sunday watching football and eating a whole bag of Cheese Doodles is more than fine. The woman you are dating is not going to care even a little bit about how much you weigh or what you eat, and that in itself can be priceless.


Jealousy is a Thing of the Past

Being jealous is a way of life for a lot of guys. It is one of the problems of having a super hot girlfriend. It is not like you are the only one that notices; everywhere you go people are going to be checking her out and sometimes, if you are a certain type of guy, that kind of thing can drive you crazy. And truth be told, this is why a lot of guys like dating a woman that they don’t have to worry about unwanted eyes.


They Tend to be Funny

Plus-sized girls tend to be funny, or at the very least they often have a really good sense of humor. This goes a bit hand in hand with the fact that they are easy to talk to. So many times girls that grew up being told they were hot all the time tend to stifle their sense of humor- why do they need to be funny?

A big chick is very often a really funny one, it happens all the time. It is no coincidence that so many female comedians tend to be a bit on the big side.


They Tend to Be Eager to Please

While so many women want a guy to put her up on a pedestal, when you are dating a plus-sized girl it is often the exact opposite. They are often not used to being with a guy and are insecure about it. They want you to be happy. Whether it is going out or staying in, what movie to see, or what you do in the bedroom, most of these women are eager to please. In their minds you have looked past their physical issues and are into them for who they are. Which in turn often makes them very willing, in all sorts of ways. A guy with a plus-sized girl can soon feel like a king, which can be really appealing to the guy that was getting pushed around in another relationship.


You Can Take Her Anywhere

She will go pretty much anywhere you want to go, and do whatever you want to do. Want to spend the day at the beach? She will go and rub lotion on your back in those hard to reach places. Want to spend the day doing yard work? She will probably be up for doing that as well, and may even outwork you while doing it. A typical guy that dates a plus-sized woman really gets used to hanging with someone agreeable for a change, and who quite often is up for anything. This is not to say that most hot women are not agreeable of course. Actually, who am I kidding, that is exactly what I mean.


They are Easy to Ask Out

Guys don’t like getting stressed out, so they go with something that they consider more of a sure thing. It is hard to ask out a woman, so sometimes a guy ends up asking someone he is pretty sure that he will not get rejected by, which is why he asks out a plus-sized woman in the first place.da

Firstly, who is defining what’s considered “bigger”? Is it a size 8, 10, 14, 20, 26? Is it anything above a sample size. That may be “Normal” in places where looks are all that matter and eating disorders and plastic surgery are the norm (I’m looking at you California) but it’s not in the rest of the world. And who defines beauty anyways? The media which is controlled, predominantly, by men.

There are plenty of fat, bald and old guys out there with wives, girlfriends and partners and no one flinches. No one feels sorry for their spouses. The assumption is that their partner loves them, not that their partner settled for them so why is it that society assumes that in order for a man to love a woman who is not anorexic, he must be settling and it could not possibly be a physical attraction? Besides, when choosing a partner, initially we are attracted to the way a person looks (that’s human nature) and then we fall in love with who they are and all their qualities that we find endearing and that is different for every single person. When you’re in the dating stage and you admit to your friends by saying something like “he makes me jealous“, then you must know all the possible reasons why your man does that in order to have a better relationship.

The fact that this guy assumes that because a woman is “bigger” she is being settled for and that if is guy is dating a “bigger” girl it is out of desperation or some sort of willful act of giving up makes me sick. I also find it kind of alarming that he manages to insult all women in his piece, as a men you can expand your options and rely in some hookup sites to meet women you really like. He basically calls skinny women unapproachable bitches that he is not up for the challenge of even attempting to date and he infers that bigger women are so needy and willing to please that he’ll settle for less than “perfect” in order to not face rejection.

As a woman who has been the thin hot woman and I know the burden of being a “bigger” woman and everything in between, I can assure you that there are plenty of men out there who want all women. Good, decent respectable men who are attracted to all types and don’t consider it settling or giving up on life to date a woman who crosses the threshold of a size 6. Only men with small minds judge women on the size of their asses.

This article is more telling about Jim Hogue’s, the author, shortcomings than anything else. Let me tell you one last thing Mr. Hogue on behalf of women everywhere of every size, none of us wants you because you are ugly to the core and that is worse than fat any day of the week. You sir deserve this week’s Throat Punch Thursday!

Throat Punch Thursday,dating bigger women

If you’d like to read the article 15 Thoughts Every Guy Has When Dating A Bigger Woman in its entirety it is here.

What are your thoughts on his take on dating bigger women?

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Carol Cassara 2016/06/28 - 10:06 am

What an outrageous post he did. I am actually speechless . For once.

Deborah Cruz 2016/09/27 - 5:27 pm

That’s how I felt too. What an idiot. It’s sad that his small mind has such a big platform.

A guy 2017/01/11 - 4:30 am

I know this is an older post, but as a guy in a relationship with a “bigger” woman I just wanted to share my two cents: Yes, unfortunately you’ll find men (and even some women) with these kind of opinions. According to them, it seems like being big invalidates her preferences and gives her partner the green light to misbehave and not set any standards for himself. My fiance has got a few negative comments about her preferences because her type is a fit guy (I’m fit) and I’ve got questions why I bother keeping fit when my fiance is not. Yes, she is “bigger than me”, but people don’t know us and what’s behind it. She has a medical condition, which is an obstacle in terms of harder physical exercise for example.Yet she prefers fit men, but should she not be allowed to hold that preference? If the men and women critisizing our choise would stop and think for one second, mayne they would see that not every single thing in a relationship has to be perfectly equal? You give and take in any relationship, but any particular favour need not be 100% equal. While she can’t reciprocate the act of keeping fit she has done a lot for me in unimaginable ways.

Deborah Cruz 2017/01/11 - 9:30 am

You are a decent human being. You love your fiance for who she is and not what size her clothes are. That should be the norm. Unfortunately, I think there are a lot of guys out there who are like Mr. Hogue who thinks this kind of degradation of women simply based on some superficial misfortune perceived by him is okay. When I met my husband of 18 years, I was the “hot girl” since then, due to medications and pregnancies and life…I have changed the way I look. I have gained weight. Gotten older and don’t place as much value on the superficial as I once did. He’s changed too. He doesn’t look the same. But you know what? I love him more today than the day we got married because we have grown together and we both realize that how someone looks on the outside, especially the size of their ass, is no reflection of who they are on the inside or what kind of person they are. What a person looks like should be irrelevant. And besides, who is this guy to speak on behalf of all men. He’s a moron but you sir, you are a good man and I wish you and your fiance a lifetime of love.Thanks for sharing your thoughts here with me.

James 2017/02/07 - 9:19 am

Gee, when I go to Asia all the women are normal sized. Thank god I married a Thai women; still the same size as the day we met. Guys aren’t looking for models, just normal sized women. Over 150lbs? Probably not normal sized, put down the food!

Kelly 2017/02/11 - 2:47 am

Tell me James, do u speak for all men, you think? Firstly, the fact that appearance is such a big issue for you, to the point where u think anyone carrying a little weight is beneath you, is shocking and I feel sad for you!!
I have to question your upbringing. Did your mother forget to teach you manners and morals? Did she ever use the words respect women? If not shame on her and if so, shame on you!!! We are all within out right to be attracted to whatever shape or size and whomever we like. That doesn’t however give anyone the right to put a weight limit on attractiveness.
Maybe when you bye your wife online its a lot easier to get what u want, right?! I hope for her sake the language barrier stoppes her descovering what a tediouse, shallow (I use this word loosely) man you are! As a size 16 woman who has bore two children and sports what u might call a “belly hang” I had no choice but to speak up as I have no shame or hang ups about my body, features or attractiveness. You may be extremely surprised to learn that I’m married (not bought) to a slim very fit attractive MAN. He is just waiting for something better to come along tho, right? All he wants in life is a ” normal ” size wife to parade like a glimmering diamond. Very, very wrong and uneducated, James. My husband of14 years is my best friend and our sex life is out of this world. We connect, we vibe! He doesn’t see beyond the weight, nor woukd i want him to. He sees the weight, he sees me in all my glory! He sees me at my best and worst yet the love doesn fade. And vise versa.
I feel bad for you that society has had such a profound effect on the way you see attractiveness. You are a visual creature and maybe you shouldn’t have watched so much porn as a lad. Am I wrong? I don’t mind being wrong! Is it that your manhood is so small and unimpressive that the sheer sight of a bigger lass triggers a panic attack? Is it that a lager woman (which we have established is over 150lbs right) threatened ur manlyness? If so, its not the strength of the woman, it is the weekness of the man!
I think I’ve gone on enough but out of curiosity, James? What is like being so fucking perfect??? What? You are not??l I didn’t fucking think so. Have a good day! I most certainly will !!!

Rob 2017/05/30 - 5:27 pm

Admittedly, when I started to read your article, I was ready to be irritated by some over the top easily offended hardcore feminist. Well as I started to read what this man wrote I quickly became a fan of yours for calling him out. He doesn’t speak for all men, and I’d bet he doesn’t speak for the majority of men either.
I for one was always VERY attracted to heavier women (because I found them sexy… none of his reasons) yet I ended up married to a lady who struggles to tip the scales at 115lbs. Don’t get me wrong, I love her to bits and I am very attracted to her too…She is easy to talk to, we only have trouble with restaurants because I’m picky, and she has absolutely zero interest in fitness,,, just naturally thin. So I think that proves him wrong about the other side of the coin.
In short, size and shape don’t matter, what matters is love.
The only guy I feel sorry for here is this fellow that wrote this.
If I’m lucky and live long enough to grow old with my partner and things down below stop working… guess what? I will be waking up everyday with the woman I love to chat with, hang out with and take care of…. wether it’s all 115lbs of her or 215lbs of her by then.
Meanwhile he will be popping viagras, wearing an earring still and trying to pick up ladies as a desperate attempt to validate his self worth.
Thanks for calling him out

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