Tag:

stress incontinence

sneezing, stress incontinence, birth, gratitude

Today was the anniversary of the day I fell and dislocated my elbow last year. I know that because my amazon photos wanted to taunt me today.  It also happens to be the 21st anniversary of the night the Big Guy asked me to marry him. Weird, right?

All day today I was dreading going outside for fear that I might slip on the ice  (because the kids had no school today because of icy roads). I stayed inside with the kids most of the day, just waiting for the clock to run out on this day. Then, I went outside because I had to run an errand and ironically enough, not only was there ice everywhere but there I was wearing UGGS again. UGGS the exact kind of shoe I was wearing when I bit it in the wet yard last year. God, I can actually feel the crunch of my elbow dislocating if I close my eyes. But I’m fine. No slips and falls today.

ALSO READ: Beware the Slick Spots

Tonight we were planning our Disney vacation for this fall because we are those people who like to return to the scene of the crime. Since our first trip to WDW was on our honeymoon, we have to go back this year. Right in the midst of the joy of surviving the day and celebrating our engagement anniversary, I sneezed and peed my pants. My kids, keeping me humble since 2005.

This day just reminded me that life can be simultaneously amazing and shitty in the same 24 hours. It’s all in our perspective, although, I’m pretty sure falling and dislocating your elbow constitutes a bad day any way you slice it. However, I’m just thankful that my elbow kept me from hitting my head on the cement. And who cares if I pee my pants when I sneeze sometimes, that’s what panty liners are for. Also, would I ever trade my kids with their big heads for a non– stress incontinent existence? NO, I wouldn’t.

ALSO READ: Everything New at Walt Disney World

I guess all this to say, I’m going to Disney World! But mostly to say, we don’t always know what life is going to throw at us, or on top of us or beneath us but we know that even if it hits us square in the face sometimes, we’re going to be fine. It’s going to hurt for a while and maybe there will be permanent damage but we will figure it out.

That’s what I’m doing, I’m figuring it out; motherhood, being a wife, being a good friend, living on my own terms, surviving the shittiest of days and embracing the little profound moments of complete bliss. I have no clue how I’m going to make it all work. I never have but I do it. I do it because that’s life. Failure really isn’t an option.

So the next time you’re laughing and you start to pee a little, look around, is there any place else that you’d rather be? Probably not. Not really. Not when it’s all said and done and the kids are asleep and your husband is beside you watching your favorite show. Laugh on, laugh hard, laugh loud and then change those panties and live to laugh another day.

 

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stress incontinence, mommy issues, life after giving birth, peepee, sneezing, Poise, Impressa

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Poise Impressa but all opinions about stress incontinence are my own.

Do you ever find yourself leaking (just a little bit) when you laugh too hard, dance too hard, sneeze or cough (that’s the worst) or workout? It’s so embarrassing. I am a grown woman and since becoming a mom and giving birth, I suffer from the affliction of stress urinary incontinence. In simple terms, I sometimes pee myself just a little but when I exert myself physically.

It doesn’t always happen and it’s not like I’m walking around peeing myself all day long but I leak sometimes. What can I do short of surgery? I Kegel, so don’t tell me to kegel. That’s about as useful as someone telling a schizophrenic person to stop talking to himself or herself. Come on, some things need actual remedies not just simply just to be wished away because if that worked, we’d all weigh 115 pounds and look 25 forever.

I’m not ready to just accept this fate and I am definitely not ready to wear diapers. I’m only 42 not 87. It’s not fair. When I look at my daughters’ faces I see my miracles and then I remember, oh yeah, that noggin makes me pee myself a little when I sneeze. There has to be a solution, right?

Then I learned that Poise Impressa can help with stress incontinence.

Immediately I thought, “Sign me up!” 10-years of leaking when sneezing is a long time and I am pretty much ready for anything that can make that stop happening. I know we all begin our lives in diapers and we all end up pretty much in them again but not now, not at 42. The answer is Poise Impressa.

What is Poise Impressa, you ask? It is an internal product that women insert like a tampon. Also, each person has unique anatomy and your jean size does not determine your Impressa size. To find the size right for you, the brand encourages you to start with size 1 and if you experience leaks, move on to Size 2 and then Size 3 if needed.

It’s that simple. Just insert and go on about your day, worry free. Free to laugh as hard as you want. Free to sneeze and cough, to your hearts desire without fear. Free to Zumba until your legs give out. The point is Poise Impressa takes the stress of urinary leakage out of your day and makes you free to do whatever you want without ever having to worry about leaking or smelling like urine, ever again…no matter how big your babies’ heads were.

I know I’m not alone in this issue. Most moms who’ve given birth vaginally live with Stress Urinary Incontinence and all the worries that come with it, every single day. Poise Impressa removes those worries and leaves you free to enjoy your life, your family and yourself.

Would you try Poise Impressa if meant you never had to worry about your stress incontinence ever again?

 

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stress incontinence, mommy issues, life after giving birth, peepee, sneezing, Poise, Impressa

This is a piece that I originally wrote for Aiming Low about Stress incontinence but I had to share it here as well because it makes me giggle. I know my readers and I know 99% of you can relate to this post.Kegel on my friends and enjoy.

What ever happened to doctor patient privilege?

Is there no dignity left in the world?

I was on the phone talking to our new insurance company agent and was being interrogated asked, what I assumed to be, standard medical questions. I expected them to be somewhat personal; it is the nature of the beast. I had no idea the degree. How could I ever know that anyone would ask me if I ever, you know, tinkled when I sneezed?

Not as personal as the therapist asking me if I talk to God…and does he answer. (My God woman, I just met you I’m not telling you what the voices in my head say or don’t say.)
I digress.

The nurse politely and matter of factly asked me about different conditions that I may currently have or have had in the past according to my medical history. I was prepared to explain that time that I had that gerbil removed or the time I thought my headache was brain cancer and insisted the doctor ran every test imaginable. I was prepared to explain all of that away.Then it got personal, we moved on to the “area” and suddenly we are talking babies, and labors, my deep cervix and even my vagina made a cameo appearance in this conversation but I was not prepared for the question she asked next.

Nurse: “So, what about stress incontinence?”

Me: “Pardon me?? I am not familiar with that diagnosis or that term?” (Is this the clinical term for a brain fart?)

My God, I thought, was she asking me if I soil myself when I got stressed out? Was that even a ‘thing”? Was this an actual bonafide medical condition? If it is, I don’t have it.  Have never been diagnosed with it and certainly don’t want it. I mean, there was that one time in college when I had that really bad pneumonia and I coughed so hard that I farted. It was humiliating. How did she know?

She explained, “It’s when you sneeze and there is a release of a small amount of urine.”

Me: “Oh, you mean do I tinkle when I sneeze? Yes, occasionally ( like every single time I sneeze, cough, laugh or move too quickly. It’s like a had a perfectly good urethra and now, my kids broke me. I have a leaky faucet) if I sneeze really hard (thanks to my beautiful big headed babies). Why yes, I do sometimes have to do the peepee dance so I don’t piss on myself at zumba. But it’s not always…just sometimes. Well, like 30% of the time. OK, well, maybe more like 67% of the time. 80% of the time tops.”

Come on, surely I’m not the only Mommy who has had this happen, right? Oh please don’t tell me it’s JUST me. There is no way that I am the only one in Zumba class who is having to sport a Depends. Why else do you think my yoga pants are so lumpy? What, you thought that was cellulite? I cannot believe that I am the only person who is afraid that sneezing, coughing or laughing too hard can cause Mama to water the plants. Don’t tell me you do your Kegel exercises religiously and have the vaginal wall of a 16 year old? If so, I’m not sure we can be friends any longer.

The nurse was really trying to be serious. Next question, “Do you require any treatment for this condition?”

Me: “Oh, you mean other than the peepee dance? Not really, just remembering to practice my Kegels. Maybe I need some gingko, my memory is not what it used to be.”

Nurse: “Any plans for treatment or corrective surgery in the future?”

Me: “No, it’s kind of like being ugly. You just kind of have to learn to live with it!”

At this point, she laughed out loud. And this concluded our interview.

I am a little concerned that I am in a chart somewhere as a grown woman who tinkles on herself (just a little bit and just on occasion…OK, OK, 80% of the time!) but it’s better than what I had originally thought…. One who poops on themselves in stressful situations! Now, that’s a stressful condition. Can you imagine, explosive diarrhea every time you were stressed out?

No amount of Kegels in the world is going to fix that.

And in case you’re still fixating on the whole gerbil incident, God told me to do it…during our conversation, in which I asked what I could do to make him smile. He answered.

Stress incontinence~ Is that a Gerbil in Your Pocket or are You Just Happy to see Me?

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