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abortion

catholic church, abortion, roe v. wade, open mind, parenting

Today is the 43rd anniversary of the controversial Roe v. Wade abortion ruling. I have always been torn between my pro-life Catholic upbringing and my pro-choice heart. I hoped I’d never find myself in the position to have to decide whether or not to have an abortion but I also learned at a very early age that sometimes women( and girls) do and it’s one of the hardest decisions they ever have to make and it’s one she has to make for herself.

When I was 15-years-old, I had a friend who confided in me that she was pregnant and was going to have an abortion all on her own. I had no idea what to do but listen and hold her when she cried at her predicament. I was young and naïve and had no experience or reference to what she was going through. I felt useless because I couldn’t help her. The decision was one of the most agonizing things I’ve ever seen someone go through. In that moment, I knew I would always fight for a woman’s right to have dominion over her own body and reproductive system. I’ve been prochoice ever since.

So this morning when I went to mass, the one my daughter has been asking me to attend for 3 months because she was leading the choir, imagine my shock when the first words out of the priest’s mouth in the homily was, “Since today is the anniversary of Roe v. Wade…..” followed by the phrase, “Women commit abortion” which is code for sin and then he went into how every life from the tiniest in the womb to the most elderly person on the footsteps of death are loved by God. That was powerful but it rubbed me the wrong way because I knew his undertone. He continued on saying, “ No matter what the mother feels, God loves that child.”

My mind was filled with all the noise and chaos of that moment when you know you have to say something, “OH.SHIT. This is the worst possible mass for me to attend because I instinctively go into defensive mode.I have a crazy need to right all the wrongs, especially when my children are part of the captive audience. 
People, it took everything in my body not to raise my hand in front of a packed church of children and elderly, stand up and ask, “ But is God going to feed them, cuddle them, provide shelter and clothing for them? Is God going to make sure that every child born has all that he needs?” I was flabbergasted. Then something crazy happened, this priest, who is almost fanatically pro life, began to speak and his words were filled with compassion, caring and love.

His next few phrases are what blew my mind out of my head, right there in the back pew as my baby girl sang.

He said, “Abortion is man’s fault, not women. Because men should treat women like the crown jewels they are and love, respect, honor and support them and if they did, there would be no need for abortion because there would be no unwanted children.”

Let that sit with you for a minute.

Then he said, what I’ve said forever, “ Women are God’s most precious gift to Men and they are not to serve us, they are here for us to marvel with love, respect and adoration because without women, there is no life. Only women have been blessed with the ability to bring forth life.” Everything I thought I knew up until this point about this man changed.

Then he said, “ By men making women objects of lust instead of objects of love, they are to blame for putting women in these compromising positions.” I know that pregnancy take two and I don’t blame men alone for women being put in the position to choose life or not, but it was nice to finally here a man (a Catholic priest no less) say that men should take responsibility for their actions and keep it in their pants. I never expected to hear those words echoing through my church, ever.

Women have always been treated like second-class citizens throughout history in society and especially in the church. I’ve always felt differently and that’s made my views as a Latina and a woman unpopular with many men I’ve known.

I’ve never been particularly fond of this priest because I’ve always felt that he’s too judgmental on situations like these but this morning his words and his heart were filled with kind words of love and compassion for our children and that is so important when you are molding young children’s minds. His words moved me.

Don’t get me wrong I haven’t changed my mind. The feminist in me will always believe it is the woman’s right to choose and the 15-year-old me will always fight for the right for women to make their own choice without condemnation from others but he made me appreciate the choice from another perspective, more importantly he explained to my children in a way that fosters compassion and self-respect. I was impressed and in the end, I didn’t have to raise my hand or storm out of mass.

 

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women's rights, recreational abortion, abortion, miscarriage, throat punch thursday

Throat Punch Thursday,women's rights, abortion, recreational abortion, politicians

Can someone please explain to me what a recreational abortion is? Well, once again my guest recipient for today’s Throat Punch is a politician but surprisingly it is not a Republican. This time it is Democratic Senator Jack Hatch of Iowa. He’s one of the good guys. He doesn’t believe that women don’t have the right to choose. He doesn’t typically support the theory that women are frivolous creatures who choose to end pregnancies for selfish reasons but when giving a speech recently he must have forgotten how to use his words or simply forgotten which side he was on. All I know is that his flub has earned him a good hard throat punch just to remind him to use his words.

While discussing the likelihood that Iowa Republicans will once more come after the state’s Medicaid coverage of abortions in the cases of rape, incest, and the life of the pregnant person, Hatch told the Associated Press that the Republicans will be unsuccessful, noting that these are “medically-needed” abortions versus “recreational abortions.” Uhhm, what the fuck did he just say?

When I think of a recreational activity I think of something fun like playing a sport, something involving frolicking, laughing uncontrollably, splashing or a cocktail and watching the sun set on a tropical island. I think of being out of this world happy; probably because recreational activities are at a premium in my life these days.

I do not think of making one of the hardest decisions of a woman’s life. I don’t think of tears and remorse; surgery and pain. I don’t think of changing my place in the world and living with that choice for all eternity. That’s not what recreation is in my book; not in any woman’s book. Is it recreational when a man is castrated or gets a vasectomy? Is that fun for men? Do men like to be kicked in the balls?

Fortunately, I’ve never had to decide to have an “abortion” but I did have a medically needed D & E (Dilation and Evacuation) after I miscarried. I had no choice in the matter but I will tell you that it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to live through. It nearly broke me. It was not fun. It is not a hobby of mine. It was not something that I took lightly or will ever forget. That procedure changed my life, the very fabric of who I am. It was not something I would ever associate with recreation, whether you chose it or it was forced on you out of medical necessity, like mine was, the end of a life is not recreational.

women's rights, abortion, miscarriage, recreational abortion, throat punch thrusday

It’s my assumption since Senator Hatch is one of the good guys that what he meant was medically necessary meaning that there is no choice and by “recreational” he meant that it was a choice but boy was his choice of words wrong. They came off as flip and demeaning to women.

I’ve said it before and I will say it again; if you weren’t born with a uterus and vagina, stay out of mine. You have no idea what you are talking about. There is no way to understand the toll abortion, pregnancy, infertility, birth, labor, delivery or loss of a pregnancy of child have on a woman, unless you have been in her shoes and experienced it first hand.

Abortion is never done without thought, no matter what the run of the mill pro-lifer will try and have you believe. A pregnancy affects a woman on some level from the moment she knows it has happened.  There is a weight that comes with the ability to bring life into the world and we women know it, we feel it and we live it. We don’t need anyone else to tell us how to feel about it or when its okay and when its not or give us permission to do what we want with our own body. How is this even a political discussion? It’s a personal decision not a political one. It doesn’t affect the country; it effects one woman and her life.

What do you think of using the word ‘recreational’ to refer to abortion?

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Throat Punch Thursday~Teen takes Parents to Court and her Baby Gets Stay of Execution

pregnancy, abortion, texas teenIt’s a crazy world when you have to take your parents to court to avoid having a forced abortion. Look, I get where a parent might feel that it is their job to save their child from themselves. We do. I do.But you know the saying, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and people, there is nothing you can do to force this cure on your child short of tying her down and violating her.

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presidential election, abortion, parenting

presidential election, abortion, parenting

I’ve got a presidential election hangover from all the excitement, anxiety and combustible tension of last night, did I mention lack of sleep? Holy cow, the baggage under my eyes has carry ons. It’s going to be hard to go presidential election cold turkey but I’ll be glad to put the vitriolic diatribes behind me; listening to them not spewing them. I never spew.

To my dismay, some of my favorite people became very small during this presidential election; I was particularly appalled by what my children heard about the candidates at school.

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jane roe, abortion

Jane Roe

Jane Roe then

Jane Roe, of  Roe vs. Wade, whose real name is Norma McCorvey  has made an anti-Obama ad. Jane Roe, the very same woman who is responsible for our current abortion laws. The same Jane Roe who fought tooth and nail to get abortion legalized when she needed it has now had a change of heart.

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Joe Walsh, abortion without exception

Joe Walsh, abortion without exception

Joe Walsh there are Exceptions to Every Rule

Late last week, Republican Representative Joe Walsh sparked a firestorm in suggesting there’s no medical reason to perform an abortion to save a woman’s life. ( Yes, I am asking myself the same question. When did I become the advocate for women’s rights blogger? I have not but it’s election time and I can’t in good conscience stand idly by while the politicians of the world muck up the topics by flip flopping and the only ones who are going to get hurt are you and I and our daughters, sisters and mothers.)  During a debate with Democratic challenger Tammy Duckworth on Thursday, Joe Walsh declared that he was “pro-life without exception,” and said that due to medical advancements, there were no instances in which abortion was necessary to save the life of the mother. Just stop and let that sink in for a moment. These were his exact words.

“With modern technology and science, you can’t find one instance,” contended Walsh, whose claim quickly was refuted by medical professionals.

I’ve been saying for awhile that the Republican party is trying to set women’s reproductive rights back to the stone age and this is just one more example in a laundry list of things that the Republican party and the Mitt Romney, Joe Walsh, Paul Ryan, Todd Akin, and Terry England’s of the world are advocates for. I understand babies are cute and cuddly and only an animal trying to commit political suicide would ever have the balls to say that he gives a shit about women over a baby. But let’s be real folks, with no women there are no babies. With no rights, women may as well be animals or inanimate objects.

There are most certainly situations where abortions are medically necessary to save the woman’s life and I can tell you, no woman who was celebrating a pregnancy and planning for a child has ever taken the role of terminating her child’s life for her own lightly.It’s medically necessary. It’s a “You’re not going to get out of here alive. The baby won’t make it.Do you want to die with the baby or do you want to live to try again or take care of those children you already have?” I’ve never had to make that choice. I never had the opportunity to choose. My baby died and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it. But I suspect that I, like all women, would trade my own life for my unborn child’s in a heartbeat, if it were an option but it’s usually not.

Joe Walsh you are just one in a long line of politicians throwing women’s rights under the bus to further your own career.

I’m so fucking sick and tired of hearing old, white men tell me what to do with my body. Dictating how I choose to live in the world. Tell me what rape is and what it’s not, deciding what is a legitimate violation of my body and what is not. Why should a man be able to punish me for making choices about my own body and how and when I choose to procreate?

Joe Walsh, read a book, take an anatomy class, and know this, women are people too. I had a reader ask me why I needed the choice to kill a baby to be a human. I don’t. I need the choice to make decisions concerning my own body and my life to be human. If you take away my right of choice, my right to decide how to live in the world, the freedom to pursue my dreams, then I may as well be a piece of furniture or a blow up doll. I was not put on earth to be just a servant to the male population and their every whim.

Men like Joe Walsh, Mitt Romney, Todd Akin, Paul Ryan and Terry England don’t care about women’s rights. They scare me. They make these crazy ignorant statements because they truly believe them and then as soon as they realize that people might not vote for them because of what they say, they backtrack and retract what they said or try to “clarify” and minimize it. They suddenly become gray. when they were adamantly black or what the day before.

Walsh clarified those comments in a long written statement to the news media this afternoon.

“Let me very clear [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”][sic] that when I say I am pro-life, I mean that I am pro-life for the mother and I am pro-life for the unborn child.  For me, there is no distinction between the two,” Walsh said.

Make a choice. Stick to it. Know the facts or keep your mouth shut. Joe Walsh I hope no one you love ever needs an emergency abortion to spare her life because then you will know the gravity and weight with which these decisions are truly made.

Joe Walsh

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OK,so I live by Notre Dame University. Most of you are aware of the current controversy of President Obama delivering the commencement speech. The reason that I am irate is that there is a group that is protesting Obama’s presence on campus in a means that not only boils my blood, it assaults all of my senses! We are driving onto campus to visit the bookstore and as we turn, I see protesters.They are holding banners. On the banners are pictures of not what I would consider aborted fetuses but something more like cut up and burned newborn babies. These pictures are next to a picture of an actual newborn baby, for effect. So, that being what I consider to be a violation of MY freedom is compounded by the fact that my 2 and 4 year old are in the car! Luckily, they did not see it. But what if they had. That could scar a kid for life! Not to mention the discussion that I would have to have with my children explaining not only the photos but that some people have no scruples or tact. So, this all happens and I am livid!! I want to kill somebody because I am incomprehensively offended. We are driving home, through downtown South Bend and much to my dismay, there is not 1 but 2 (yes, 2!!!)moving truck sized trucks traveling at snail speed.As we are quickly approaching, I happen to notice, through my fog of lividness, that there is a huge picture of President Obama on the back with the wording “I am a Christian” on it and then I remember that it has been rumored that there are 2 phantom moving trucks driving around town protesting President Obama. As we get closer, I realize that those same photos that were on poster board and assaulted my senses were now fast approaching on the passenger side. My 4 year old is looking on and the photos of the dismembered newborns ,at least the size of a compact vehicle, were headed straight for her. So, I scream at the top of my lungs, “Close your eyes!!” and ,for once, they listened. Thank God! Because as I turned to face the brutality and sheer monstrosity of what was the side of that truck, I was met with vulgarity and filled with disgust. Disgust for these people who would risk exposing children to these photos, to win an argument. I think it should be against the law to force me to look at these graphic photos. Of course, they are not the Pro Choice group, so I guess they have no regard for my choice in any matter! Words cannot even begin to convey how very offended I am by these photos and these people. They are infringing on MY right to freedom! They are so concerned about the intimate details and business of others ,yet, they have no issue doing something equally as disgusting as what they are fighting against. They are exploiting these photos. OK,to be clear I am Catholic and I do not particularly believe in or lobby for abortion but I do respect basic human rights.And I think that the right to CHOICE is the biggest one and I also think that the privacy of our own bodies is ours, but most importantly, I think that showing these pictures is vulgar, disgusting and irresponsible because there are a lot of children in South Bend, being scarred for life because they people are ignorant, inconsiderate a**holes!

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