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self worth, body dysmorphic disorder, Self confidence, self acceptance, Self worth, self-worth, self-esteem, feelings, skills, self-respect, self esteem

Self-Worth~I’m No beauty Queen,I’m Just Beautiful Me

by Deborah Cruz

Today, I’m linking up my Self-Worth post @ Ciaomom.com. I stumbled across her link up as, one by one, all of my Twitter friends were sharing it. Of course, I wanted to know what all the excitement was about and then I read her post and I knew. In a world full of self-doubt and deprecation, she is spreading the idea of self-love and self-worth. Can you imagine?


I am the Mommy of two daughters and my biggest fear in the WORLD is that they will follow in my footsteps down a path of self-doubt and poor body image. In my teens, like most girls, I was very unsure of my place in the world. I was tall before any of the boys in my middle school. Then puberty hit and all the body changes that accompany. In a matter of a summer, I went from the cute, smart girl with the big almond eyes to being an amazon by middle school standards, breakouts, breast buds, braces, body hair, hips and being extremely uncomfortable in this new foreign body. 8th grade was a hard year for me. I no longer tried to stand out for excellence, I wanted to be invisible. I was afraid that if someone saw me they would notice (or worse) point out my flaws.

It didn’t help that my parents were both in great shape. My dad was very athletic and, once puberty started for me, he had the habit of telling me that I “needed” to run more. In my head, I heard ” You are not good enough yet, you need to run so that you can be perfect and worthy of love“. This plants a seed of self-loathing. Have I told you how much I hate running to this day? My already uncomfortable place in my new skin became unbearable. By the time I left for college, I was so afraid of the Freshman 15 that everyone had been sure to warn me of that I was resigned to subsist on the least amount of calories possible. 17, that was the age I was when I started on my 8 year battle with anorexia/bulimia. I never binged and purged. Never. I was a perfectionist. I starved myself to about 600 calories a day and then I vomited it all up. Everything, even water. If it went into my mouth, it came out almost immediately after. The very thought of food in my stomach was enough stress mentally to make me vomit involuntarily. It left me feeling NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

But this is not what I want for my girls. I want them to have an exorbitant amount of self-confidence, self-esteem and most importantly


To do this, I have to lead by example so here is my list of what I love about myself ( after years of therapy and self-understanding:)

I love those big, crazy almond eyes of mine because I can see and cherish my daughters’ daily

I love my voice because it sings to my girls and speaks to those I love

I love my hair, it’s curly and sometimes straight and it’s beautiful

I love my strength of character because it has helped me to survive my past and go after my future

I love my resolve because it helped me overcome 8 years of eating disorder

I love my intelligence and wisdom to know what I can change and what I can not (even when it’s hard to accept).

I love my laugh, it’s loud and crazy like Ricky Ricardo but it is authentic and when you hear it; my heart is happy

I love my body for allowing me to conceive, grow and birth my children

I love my wit and humor which has allowed me to keep perspective

I love my personality that has landed me my wonderful husband ( of course the 25-year-old tits and ass didn’t hurt either:)

I love my uncanny knack to assess a situation, size up people and never back down from anything

I love that I don’t know the word quit

I love that I am so socially charged that I am NEVER uncomfortable in a group, in fact, I thrive amongst people

I love that I am honest to a fault

I love that I am genuine

I love that I love with the same faith in people that I have in God

I love that I can forgive and move past circumstances

I love that I have grown to love my own skin for all that it’s worth ( I still battle the body dysmorphic disorder) but even on days when my eyes are unhappy with the mirror, my mind knows better.

I love that I am not perfect but I am worth it. To quote Selena Gomez ( yeah I have kids…busted), I’m no beauty queen, I’m just beautiful me and that is better than good enough. And today, “I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE ANYONE ELSE!” Where does your self-worth come from?



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Christine 2011/07/14 - 12:37 pm

That’s quite a story. Although I never treat my daughter the way I was treated as a kid she is still very self depreciating and calls herself fat, ugly, etc. Its hard because, of course, none of it is true….. There are so many outside influences to deal with as well…..

Truthful Mommy 2011/07/14 - 3:38 pm

I hate that the world we live in makes little girls feel like failures if they are not physically perfect and even if they are, the idea of not good enough prevails. She is lucky to have a mother who is aware and tries to counteract societies influence. Hugs to you both.

NotJustAnotherJennifer 2011/07/14 - 1:37 pm

Amazing! Love you, love the post, love it all! So glad you linked up!

Truthful Mommy 2011/07/14 - 3:39 pm

Thanks Mama! It’s awareness of our past that helps us to shape our future:) XO

Addicted2Shius 2011/07/14 - 3:15 pm

I heart you for the awesome woman you are! And I needed to read your post so thank you!

Truthful Mommy 2011/07/14 - 3:39 pm

Awww, thanks mama! Missed you. I heart you right back! XO

Angie 2011/07/14 - 3:45 pm

Wonderful post! I’m trying very hard to instill those values into my daughters as well. It sucks that we are fighting against the media for our children’s ideas of self worth.

Truthful Mommy 2011/07/14 - 6:09 pm

It really does suck that we live in a time where our world has become airbrushed and instead of appreciating natural beauty, altered and mutilated reigns supreme.

Galit Breen 2011/07/14 - 10:54 pm

Love you. That is all. XO

KalleyC 2011/07/15 - 12:45 pm

A beautiful post. Since having my daughter, I had to learn how to look at myself differently. I’ve come from a family that will let you know if you’re fat. And if you didn’t get it the first time, they will remind you every step of your life.

The women in my family were obsessed with losing weight for appearance reasons (not health) and would try doing it the most dangerous of ways (starvation & over exercising).

I don’t want my daughter to grow up with that kind of environment. So when I see myself in the mirror, I give myself a compliment and I smile. She has to learn from somewhere that it’s okay to love yourself even if you’re not perfect to other people. You are just right for you.

I really hope that our children can grow up knowing and appreciating their self worth.

Leighann 2011/07/15 - 5:04 pm

Oh how proud you should be for being a survivor!
your list is fantastic!

Jenni Chiu 2011/07/15 - 10:39 pm

I love all those things about you too. You are quite an extraordinary woman… and fucking courageous for overcoming what you have.
Love you lots.

Elena @CiaoMom 2011/07/17 - 4:05 pm

Your strength of character gave me goosebumps! This is a fabulous list…and I am so thankful that you participated!

Truthful Mommy 2011/07/17 - 4:51 pm

Awww, thanks sweetie. I love that you did this link up we all need a reminder of the good in all of us. EVeryone else is so ready to point out the bad at any given moment. You rock! Xo

Bruna 2011/07/20 - 6:50 pm

I love you just the way you are and I’ve never seen you or met you in real life. Your words are all I have and I’ve found friendship in you because you’re real.

I loved this post and I love that you ended it with Selena Gomez. My 13 year-old loves and looks up to her. What a great song and message to be sending out to girls her age.

Truthful Mommy 2011/07/20 - 10:59 pm

Girl, I heart you right back! I feel the absolute same way. you are such a genuinely authentic kind and true person, who wouldn’t love you! XO

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