The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Sneaking Away for Me Time is Every Parent’s Right
Being a parent is a 24 hour a day, 7-day a week, 365 days a week “job” and if it weren’t for being able to sneak away to Netflix for some “me” time, I’m not sure how I’d survive it. Believe me when I tell you that I am very happy to be a part of Netflix’s stream team. Some people have hobbies or second jobs, I have Netflix to escape reality. As a parent, you are never truly off duty. Never. I feel like my life is a constant game of memory (because I’m always putting things up away from the children then trying to find it when I need it again) and hide-and-go-seek on the world’s longest loop. It is exhausting trying to not mess your kids up, filling childhood with memories and happiness while not being allowed to lose your sh*t (be human).
My girls are 9 and 11-years-old and I feel like the pregnancy brain, morphed into mommy brain and now, I have the worst case of “My kids have got to be at 27 different places at the same time, I can’t even remember where my keys are or why I walked into this room” brain ever. I think I’ll bide my time here until senility sets in.
A couple weeks ago we took our summer vacation to the East Coast and there were two consecutive days when I was confined to a hotel room with my girls. They were bored. I was trying to work and basically, it all ended in a case of too much of a good thing. I really needed a day off when we got back. Honestly, there is nothing quite like being locked in a room with kids to make you painfully aware of how precious “me” time is because when limited to one singular room, any parent will tell you…there is no escape. It’s like prison, only the bars are parenthood and social etiquette.
To get some time alone, I stayed up later than the entire family and binge watched Season 2 of Bloodline on Netflix.
By the way, this season of Bloodline was awesome. I swear, I think Danny was in this episode even more than last season which was ironic since… well, I don’t want to spoil anything but if you watch, you know what I’m talking about!
At home, I can simply saunter off to my office or hide out in my bedroom, closet, back deck, bathroom…you get the point? But when you are trapped in a one room abode, there is no escaping. Heck, the bathroom at our hotel was one of those cool, sliding barn doors made out of green glass. It looked amazing but it had one fatal flaw; no lock.
In case you were wondering, and if you are a parent yourself you aren’t, staying up alone late at night did give me some “me” time but it was a temporary fix because eventually, I needed to sleep later than they did and so by the end of the week, I was exhausted and they were ready to go early in the morning which resulted in the inevitable, “What are we going to do today? I’m bored!” chorus that they chanted incessantly, in their little kitty voices in that ONE room. I don’t know how the pioneers did it with their one room houses.
After our 15-hour drive home from Boston, I was feeling kind of burnt out. Like our 9-day vacation was too much. Moms you know what I mean. I was on constantly. Suddenly, I felt like I had newborns again because of all the time and attention they were requiring, only they are 9 and 11 and almost as tall as me and I haven’t been in newborn/toddler mode in years. It was hard. It was like I was looking at young adults but they were usurping every ounce of energy out of me because I was their entertainment, all the time.
We got home and the exhaustion was compounding with no end in sight. Then my Mother-in-Law (God bless her) called and offered to take the girls for not one but two days. (Is it just me or did you just hear choirs of angels singing too when you read that last sentence?) I gladly obliged, I mean who am I to keep a Grandma from her granddaughters?
The first night they left just happened to coincide with the release of the new season of Orange is the New Black (OITNB) on Netflix. I am a super fan so I was super excited. I was able to indulge in an interrupted binge watch of the first few episodes. Good thing because this season is really engaging. It had me on the edge of my seat the whole time. I don’t want to ruin it for anyone but expect the unexpected and there will be tears of laughter and sadness.
The first day, the Big Guy took a vacation day so we slept in and had a day date. We went out for lunch to Cheddars, then we went to see The Conjuring (which is creepy and fantastically scary in the best possible way) followed by getting ourselves one of those new Caramel Espresso Granitas from Starbucks because we never get to just walk around the mall like teenagers or cool couples without children sipping on the latest Starbucks concoctions ( I really wanted to order the Pink Drink off the secret menu but I was afraid the pimply faced barista behind the counter would give me the stink eye because I’m over 22) and then, shopped in peace and silence at Von Maur
After spending a sufficient amount of time and money on ourselves, we headed home, picked up take away for dinner and just were. Remember what it feels like to just exist without it being for the soul purpose of serving little people? It was absolutely amazing.
The second day, we slept in again and after slowly sipping hot coffee got dressed and ran a few errands. Thought we were cool because we even managed to fit in grocery shopping for the week and then we got into a fender bender in the parking lot. That kind of ruined the mojo of the day but we were so well rested and happy, we just smiled like fools and handed the kid we crashed with our insurance card. It’s amazing how your perspective changes when you get to sleep.
That evening, before the girls came home, the Big Guy played Call of Duty and I watched a few more episodes of OITNB. Turns out, we both needed “me” time, “us” time and lots of sleep. By the end of the 48 hours, we both actually really missed our girls and I think they missed us too. It was good for everyone.
The thing is when you go on vacation, you usually come home needing a break from your life because vacation usually means running all over like a chicken with your head cut off, just in a different location. We all needed some time apart, we all needed sleep and now we are all much happier especially since last night, I finished the last episode of season 4 of OITNB but of course, that makes me sad too because no I have to wait a year for the next season. I have no self-control. I’m like a kid left alone in a room full of candy. Don’t ever ask the kid why he ate all the candy, ask yourself, why did you leave a kid alone in a room full of candy. OITNB is my candy.
What do you do during your “me” time to relax? Let me know in the comments below. Do you shop until you drop? Do you sleep in until you wake up on your own? Do you have a hobby?
Do you have a favorite show on Netflix to binge watch?
2016/06/21
The Day My World Stopped: What Could Have Been
Estimated reading time: 0 minutes
Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day so, I want to share my story. I wanted to remember my Declan, who I never got to hold in my arms. I don’t get to celebrate his birthday or his milestones. Instead, I mark time by mourning what could have been on what should have been his due date and on the day we lost him. I know it sounds morbid but these two days are all that I have. I don’t even get to talk about him. I’ll never have a picture of him on my wall or get to hear him call me “mommy.” I was robbed of all of it, even though I desperately wanted him.
I lost my third child on May 1, 2012. That day is seared into my soul and the wound is still as fresh today as it was that morning as we drove to the hospital. I was sitting there in the car with my husband but I felt more alone than I’d ever felt before. That day changed everything for me; not just my perspective of the world but who I was and how I would move throughout that world for the rest of my life. I’m not the same woman I was before that moment I was told that my baby no longer had a heartbeat. It’s not an easy story to tell, but I think it’s important. Maybe you’ve been through something similar, or maybe you know someone who has. Either way, I hope sharing this helps in some small way.
The Day It All Fell Apart
It was a Monday morning. April 30, 2012. Just another day, right? Except it wasn’t. I was 10 weeks and 4 days pregnant, and I had a routine ultrasound appointment to confirm everything was okay because I had some slight spotting. No big deal, I thought. I’d done this before with my other pregnancies. But the moment I saw the tech’s face, I knew. You know that feeling when your heart just… drops? Yeah, that. I wanted to disappear and stop everything.
I didn’t want to hear whatever they were about to say. I knew. She didn’t even have to say the words. But she did anyway. “I’m so sorry, we couldn’t find your baby’s heartbeat.” And just like that, my world imploded.
The Aftermath
You know what’s weird? How the world just… keeps going. There I was, my entire existence shattered into a million pieces, and outside that window, people were still walking their dogs, grabbing coffee, living their lives. It felt so wrong. Nothing felt alright. I didn’t even recognize myself. The grief and sadness were primal.
I remember sitting in my car afterward, just… wailing. I’ve never cried like that before or since. It was this primal, gut-wrenching sound that I didn’t even recognize as my own voice. And then, because life is cruel sometimes, I had to pull myself together to pick up my daughter from preschool. Can you imagine? Pretending everything’s fine when your heart is breaking into pieces? Even speaking was nearly impossible, the lump in my throat was choking me. How was I supposed to survive this?
The Silence That Followed
We hadn’t told anyone about the pregnancy yet. You know how it is – that fear of jinxing it. So when we lost the baby, it felt like this secret engulfing grief. Like I was carrying this enormous weight that no one could see.
I wanted to scream it from the rooftops. I wanted everyone to know that my baby existed, that he mattered, that I loved him fiercely even if I never got to hold him. But instead, I was quiet. Because how do you even begin to explain that kind of loss to someone who hasn’t been through it?
But this was too big to keep from those who mattered; those who loved us and would want to help shoulder the pain. I sent a text to our family and my closest girlfriends and told them the news. I dropped this catastrophic bomb that had just blew up my entire life and asked them not to contact me because talking to anyone, forming words and making sound, was too big an ask for me in this state.
Breathing felt like a privilege that I didn’t deserve. How could I go on living when my child could not? You’ve not known survivors guilt to this magnitude until you’ve had to go on living in a world where your beloved child cannot exist.
The Physical Reality
Let’s talk about something that people often gloss over – the physical aspect of miscarriage. It’s not just emotional pain; it’s physical too. I remember begging my doctor, “Please, get him out of my body.” I know that sounds harsh, but the thought of carrying my baby, knowing he was gone, was more than I could mentally bear. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I was existing in feral and primal mode. I just wanted to disappear from everyone and everything I’d ever known.I felt shame for my body failing my child. I know, rationally, that it wasn’t my fault but when you are desperate for answers to why something so heinous happens, your mind can go to dark places.
The next morning, at 6 AM, May 1, 2012, I was at the hospital for a D&C. It felt so final. Like I was saying goodbye before I ever really got to say hello. My heart was broken wide open and I was hemorrhaging every rational thought that I had ever had. I was so detached and in so much mental anguish that I couldn’t even muster enough care to even ask my husband how he was feeling. I didn’t have the bandwidth to care about anyone; I was just trying to survive the most traumatic event of my life.
The Lingering Pain
Here’s the thing about losing a baby – it doesn’t just go away. Even now, 12 years later, I can feel that lump in my throat when I think about my Declan. That’s what we named him. He existed. He was real. He was loved. He was going to be Declan Wayne, carrying on his father’s name, as is the tradition in his family.
I still get angry sometimes. Why us? It’s not fair, and it’s okay to feel that way. Healing isn’t linear, you know? Some days are easier than others, but that dull ache? It’s always there. My arms are always just a little empty; my heart always holding space for our little boy. Every happiness is tinged with a little sadness because he should be here to celebrate with us. I don’t think there will ever be a day when I don’t feel this loss; this longing for something that’s missing.
Finding Light in the Darkness
I won’t lie to you – this journey is tough. There were days when getting out of bed felt like climbing Everest. But here’s what I’ve learned: we’re stronger than we know. Somehow, we keep going. We bend, but we don’t break.
You know what helps? Talking about it. Sharing our stories. That’s why I’m telling you mine. Because maybe, just maybe, it’ll help someone else feel less alone. And that’s something, isn’t it?
A Message for You
If you’re reading this and you’ve lost a baby, I want you to know something: Your baby mattered. Your grief is real. Your feelings are valid. And you are so, so strong.
It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be angry. It’s okay to laugh and then feel guilty for laughing. All of it is okay. You’re navigating something incredibly difficult, and you’re doing it the best way you know how.
Moving Forward, Not Moving On
People talk about moving on, but I don’t think we ever really do. Instead, we move forward, carrying our babies in our hearts. We find ways to honor them, to keep their memory alive.
For me, writing helps. Sharing my story helps. And on October 15th, Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, I’m lighting a candle. It’s a small thing, but it matters. It’s my way of saying, “You existed. You were loved. You are remembered.” Our Declan, he is at the top of my Dia de Los Muertos ofrenda. This is a sacred place of honor to me and when anyone comes to my house, they see his ultrasound scan. The one I insisted they take that morning before my D&C. The only tangible proof I have that he ever existed to the outside world.
A Final Thought
I know this is heavy stuff. But I’m glad you’re here, reading this. Because it means we’re in this together. We’re part of a club no one wants to join, but here we are. And you know what? We’re going to be okay. Not the same as before, but okay.
So, if you’re struggling, reach out. To me, to a friend, to a support group. Don’t carry this alone. And if you know someone who’s lost a baby, just be there. You don’t need to have the right words. Sometimes, just sitting in silence and acknowledging their pain is enough.
Remember, your story matters. Your baby matters. And you, my friend, you matter too.
Take care of yourself, okay? And know that you’re not alone in this. Not ever.
2024/10/15
How Moms Can Celebrate World Sleep Day!
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
Hey there, fellow sleep-deprived mom friend!
So, it’s that time of year again – World Sleep Day. Did you even know that was a thing? Me, neither. Then again, I’ve been a mom for 19 years, so you know, no rest for the wicked and all that. What is World Sleep Day, you ask? It’s a day dedicated to celebrating the elusive phenomenon known as sleep. But let’s be real, as moms, sleep might feel more like a distant memory than something worth celebrating. Between late-night feedings, toddler tantrums, and endless rounds of “just one more story,” and let’s not forget about waiting for teens to get home and then spending hours chatting about what’s going on with them… getting a decent night’s sleep can seem like a far-fetched dream.
Disclosure: Some of the products included in this post were gifted for review purposes but all opinions are my own.
But fear not, my exhausted, desperately in need of a nap comadre! I’ve got some tips, tricks, and tired laughs to help you make the most of World Sleep Day. So grab your comfiest pajamas and a giant mug of coffee (wine or nightly edible, no judgment here), and let’s dive in!
1. Embrace the Nap Life
Whoever said naps are just for babies clearly never met a sleep-deprived mom. Let’s be real, naps are our love language. So, on World Sleep Day, give yourself permission to indulge in a midday siesta. Whether it’s a power nap in your fully-flat reclinable XL6 FlexiSpot Powerlift Recliner with massage and heat or a full-blown snooze fest in bed, take advantage of any opportunity to catch some z’s. Trust me, the laundry can wait – your sanity cannot. Because if you’re going to spend half your life in bed, you might as well do it in style.
2. Treat Yourself to Some Sleep Accessories
You know what they say: when in doubt, accessorize. And when it comes to sleep, the right accessories can make all the difference. Treat yourself to some cozy new pajamas, invest in a weighted silk sleep stone eye mask (it’s a game changer) or indulge in a luxurious set of PeachSkin Sheets. Because if you’re going to spend half your life in bed, you might as well do it in style. If you want to sleep in comfort ALL.YEAR.LONG. You must get yourself a muslin comfort 365 blanket. It keeps me comfortable no matter what time of the year it is and that is a life changing thing when you are pregnant, perimenopausal, menopausal or a woman in general. It was the one thing I never knew I needed but once I got one, I’m never going back.
Bonus to sleep like a baby: Add a scrumptious and relaxing pillow mist.
3. Create a Sleep Sanctuary
Turn your bedroom into a sleep sanctuary fit for a queen (or, you know, a tired mom). Dim the lights, set the mood with some soothing essential oils like Alevan Botanica: The Sleep Set , and banish any electronic devices from the premises (yes, even your phone). Creating a calming environment can help signal to your brain that it’s time to unwind and drift off into dreamland.
Also, a must have for any sleep sanctuary, is Evercool®+ Cooling Sheet Set and comforter. They’re made with the same game-changing temperature regulating technology and quality, moisture-wicking fabric as the the Rest Kids Evercool™ Cooling Comforter I’d been using to cool off on hot nights. Only these full-sized sheets and comforter allows hopelessly hormonally challenged hot moms ( and dads) to recharge through a comfortable, cool, dry and restful sleep. Just imagine your body temperature being regulated and you being able to sleep through the night? Now, if the kids would just sleep through the night too.
4. Practice the Art of Saying No
As moms, we have a tendency to take on more than we can handle. But here’s the thing – you can’t pour from an empty cup (or in this case, a tired mom). So, on World Sleep Day (and every day thereafter), practice the fine art of saying no. You don’t have to sacrifice your every waking moment and martyr yourself in the name of motherhood. Whether it’s turning down that last-minute playdate or passing on that committee meeting, prioritize your sleep and sanity above all else.
5. Find the Humor in Sleep Deprivation
Let’s face it, sometimes all you can do is laugh. Whether it’s finding yourself wearing your shirt inside out for the third day in a row or accidentally putting the milk in the pantry instead of the fridge (guilty), finding the humor in sleep deprivation can make the endless nights feel a little less daunting. So go ahead, embrace the chaos, and laugh until you cry (or until you fall asleep standing up, whichever comes first).
6. Seek Support
Remember, you’re not alone in this sleep-deprived journey. Reach out to your fellow mom friends for support, commiseration, and maybe even a much-needed venting session. Sometimes all it takes is knowing that someone else is in the same boat to make the sleepless nights feel a little more bearable.
7. Treat Yourself to Some Self-Care
And last but certainly not least, don’t forget to prioritize self-care. Whether it’s treating yourself to a bubble bath, indulging in your favorite guilty pleasure TV show, or simply taking a few moments to breathe deeply and center yourself, make self-care a non-negotiable part of your daily routine. Because a well-rested mom is a happy mom, and a happy mom is a force to be reckoned with.
Secret bedtime self-care weapon: Therabody SmartGoggles. They not only reduce stress and anxiety, they support restful sleep, soothe headaches, relieve eye strain, lower your heart rate, increase circulation and ease facial tension.
Share Your Sleep Stories and Tips
Phew, we made it through! Now, here’s where you come in. I want to hear from you! Comment below and share your best sleep deprivation story or your top tip for getting some much-needed and deserved mom sleep this World Sleep Day. Let’s laugh, commiserate, and support each other through the sleepless nights. Together, we’ve got this!
2024/03/15
School Shooting in Nashville is Just Another Day in America

Estimated reading time: 6 minutes
I’ve been so sick this week. Down with an awful stomach virus. Projectile vomiting so much that I’ve been bedridden. But I’ve seen the news. Three 9-year-olds and 3 faculty members dead in Nashville, Tennessee. Did I ever tell you guys that I was briefly an elementary school teacher in Tennessee? I was. I gave it up to take care of my own girls. Right before the pandemic, I was back in the classroom again. I’ll never go back. You couldn’t pay me enough money to risk a school shooting in a country where guns outweigh children’s life.
Do you know how much teachers love their students, especially those little ones? People don’t become teachers because they don’t care. It’s a calling. Teaching is a job you do out of love. It’s hard and thankless but we are rewarded in 1000 tiny ways by those precious children and that’s why teachers do so much for so little. But now, they’re supposed to be expected to risk their own lives just to educate someone else’s child?
Just another day in America
I’m not even shocked anymore. I’m angry and disgusted at our country’s constant failure of our children, our teachers and parents. No mother or father should ever have to drop their children off at school, at their own risk which is exactly what we’re expected to do. No teacher should be expected to use her body as a shield from the gunfire. No child should have to know the protocol to survive an active shooter situation.
Every morning since my daughters started school, I drop them off at the front door of school and say a prayer that they are still alive when I pick them up. Every morning, I feel sick to my stomach. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard sirens and called the school to check on my kids or driven there just to be sure. I live in constant fear. I’ve lost a pregnancy and I don’t think I could survive losing another child.
I don’t know about you but I didn’t create, a house and push my precious girls out into this world through excruciating pain just so someone else could so callously disregard their lives. I mean FUCK YOU those are mine. I did the work. No one else has the right to destroy what I created. They exist. They matter. This is human life. Not fucking collateral damage. One life is too many but in the United States, we’re being sent the message by our politicians that our dead children are a small price to pay for the right to bear arms. Maybe we need new politicians who care about all of the “we the people” and not just the gun enthusiast.
Just Another Day in America
The thing that pisses me off the most is that politicians place a higher value on guns than on human life. Because guns are a more lucrative business. Guns make money. The NRA has money to burn and throw around Washington. Only our children’s lives are worth more than any money. They are priceless. The saddest part is that we are all becoming desensitized to it. We hear that there’s been a shooting and we get sad and then we move on to the next day and the next group of unsuspecting children who get slaughtered while learning their ABCs.
What about the excruciating pain of a mother and father’s broken heart? Have you ever had the misfortune of hearing or expelling your own primal scream into the world? There is a howling that comes only when you lose a child. It’s unmistakable and un-recreatable. It comes from deep within and it is the breaking of a human being. It sounds like nothing you’ve ever heard before. When that happens, both the child and the parent are destroyed. Parents and their children are invisibly tethered for life and when our children are ripped from this world, a part of us dies too.
Incredibly, there is more to be gained in gun sales and by appeasing gun aficionados for politicians to even care or consider any kind of common sense gun control. What is boils down to is that the politicians believe our children’s lives are expendable. Well, I believe I speak for all parents when I say, no child’s life is expendable.
How many children need to die to make them care? Whose child needs to die for them to care? Because from where I sit, it looks like money is more important than our children’s safety and lives.
Just Another Day in America
No wonder so many of our children are suffering from anxiety and depression. The law mandates that we send them into a fucking war zone every morning with no protection. A child should not have to practice active shooter drills. A 9-year-old shouldn’t have to fear for her life every morning when she goes to school. How can our children even breathe? They know they’re at risk. RISK? They are risking their lives to get an education.
How do we even make it make sense to our children when it doesn’t even make sense to us? What are we supposed to say when our child is looking at us to be their savior and we can’t protect them? How are we supposed to live with the guilt of sending them to the slaughter? We have to fight harder.
Just Another Day in America
How many mothers need to drop their sweet children off at school and never get to pick them up before we care enough to stop the government from putting guns before babies? When will the government fight as hard for our school-aged children as they do the unborn ones?
I’m pissed off and you should be too. If you want things to change, you have to be willing to fight for change. Wishing won’t work. You’re going to have to put your money where your mouth is. You have to fight like your child’s life depends on it, because it does. We have to be relentless so that our children are safe. Our politicians are failing our children, we don’t have that luxury.
Lift your voices to protect our children. School shootings are unacceptable. We need to draw a line in the sand for our children’s sake. Children being slaughtered can never be just another day in America. Every time it happens… it’s the worst day in America.
Imagine for a moment the unthinkable. Imagine that the child never comes home again, the smile you’ll never see again, and the tiny arms around your neck are those of your child. Be brave. Take a stand. Scream at the top of your lungs. Tell Congress to stop glorifying guns and ban assault weapons and high-capacity magazines now! You can start by signing this petition at MomsRising.Org
2023/03/30
Wonder Woman is Every Woman
As a little girl, I had 1 hero (besides my mom) and that was Wonder Woman. She was smart, beautiful and she was stronger than any man; plus, she was a girl. Not only was she a girl, she was a brunette and she was the superhero plus, bonus Linda Carter was a Latina.
I still remember watching Wonder Woman, sitting in my fuzzy red teddy bear rocker. It was the best thing on television as far as I was concerned. She was better than Batman or Superman because she was a girl, just like I was and that was important then… and now.
Girls need strong female role models. My girls have women like Hillary Clinton, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and myself. But, I’ve always believed that it couldn’t just be guy superheroes who got to save the world. We don’t all need rescuing. We can be the rescuer. Women are more than just a pretty face, playing second fiddle to a guy superhero or otherwise. Even then, as a little girl, I knew that I could do and be more than just the arm candy or cheerleader to a man. I wasn’t a damsel in distress and didn’t want to be treated like one.
Then Diana Prince appeared in my young life and gave hope to all little girls everywhere because it didn’t matter if you were pretty or ugly, tall or short, where you were from or if you were poor or rich.
Wonder Woman made it not only plausible but probable that you could be strong, smart, funny and good just as good as any boy, even better.
You could care about issues and people and you could make a difference. All you had to do is decide that’s what you wanted to do. Maybe we couldn’t all be Amazons or Goddesses but we could do and be good and we didn’t need a man’s help or permission. We could just do it.
Wonder Woman was a critical part of my childhood. She was more than a fictional superhero, she was endless possibility. She was an inspiration to stand up for what I believed in. She was permission to do what was right even when it was hard, even when people didn’t agree or gave you funny looks because “girls” aren’t supposed to do those things.
I bought the Wonder Woman boxed set when I had my first daughter. I knew that I wanted her to feel that pride in her chest that swelled up and propelled her do the right thing even when it was the unpopular one.
When I heard that a Wonder Woman movie was coming out, I knew I had to see it with my daughters.
Last week, we took our girls to see Wonder Woman in the theater. Honestly, I wasn’t sure what to expect since I’d heard mixed reviews. I hoped they wouldn’t mess up the feature film and over sexualize Diana Prince or make her a 1-dimensional supporting cast member in her own feature, as so often happens to so many women in real life. But I have to say honestly, for me, the movie was amazing.
For me, Gal Gadot was the perfect Wonder Woman.
She was just the right blend of strong, smart, beautiful, conscientious and independent to play the character. She did the right thing in spite of making the hard choice. She gave up the guy to save humanity. She saved the world because she believed she could. She believed and saw the good in people and it was all embraced and respected. She was a warrior and a lady.
Speaking of the perfect choice to play a part, Robin Wright’s General Antiope was phenomenal casting. She’s come a long way from the damsel in distress in The Princess Bride and I saw a lot more Claire Underwood in there. Her part was short but impactive.
Wonder Woman did what was right even though it meant losing everything she loved and leaving everyone she ever cared about.
She chose the human race over her own personal gain. She sacrificed herself for the greater good. She was humble and a hero.
“Be careful in the world of men, Diana. They do not deserve you.”
It may appear on the surface that someone or something doesn’t deserve our help, our sacrifice or our fight on their behalf but it’s not about them, it’s about us. It’s about the kind of person that we want to be.
I teach my girls to be good, do good. Stick up for your beliefs. Fight for your rights. Help those in need. It doesn’t matter if you are celebrated or thanked. You do good because your moral compass compels you to do so. Do it for the love and the justice of the world.
We can’t control others reactions, only our actions. Put your good into the world and let it take hold. It doesn’t matter if anyone’s watching or knows that you did it. You do it because it’s right not for the glory.
Silence is equal to doing harm. You can’t hide because it’s not what’s popular. It’s not always easy but I want my girls to do the right thing, especially when it’s hard because every choice has a ripple effect. One small kind act or word can mean the difference between life and death. Wonder Woman reminded me of that.
My soul is on fire. My heart is happy to have had the opportunity to share the experience with my girls.
Maybe the world doesn’t deserve our girls but doesn’t our girls deserve to feel empowered and strong enough to do what’s right. Don’t our girls deserve to know they are strong and the possibilities are endless? Don’t our little girls, and ourselves, deserve to know that we are all wonder women?
If you’ve not seen Wonder Woman yet, go now! Take your girls, your boys and yourself. Celebrate the wonder that all women are!
If you’ve seen Wonder Woman, I’d love to hear your thoughts whether you loved it or hated it.
2017/06/12
How to Create a Day of the Dead Altar Step-by-Step:
Hey there, fellow memory-keepers and tradition-embracers! Today, we’re diving into something that’s close to my heart: creating a Day of the Dead altar, or as it’s known in Spanish, a Día de los Muertos ofrenda.
Now, I know what you might be thinking: “Isn’t that a bit… morbid?” But trust me, it’s anything but! This beautiful tradition is all about celebrating the lives of those we’ve lost, keeping their memories alive, and maybe even sharing a laugh or two with them from beyond the veil. So, grab a cup of coffee (or a shot of tequila – I won’t judge), and let’s get started on creating an altar that’ll make your ancestors proud!
Why Create a Day of the Dead Altar?
Before we dive into the nitty-gritty, let’s talk about why we’re doing this in the first place. Day of the Dead isn’t about mourning – it’s about celebration! Why else do you think we dress as sugar skulls and Calaveras. You saw my Dia de Los Muertos make-up tutorial, this is serious business. Family is as sacred as it gets in the Mexican culture. It’s a time to remember our loved ones, share stories about them, and keep their spirits alive in our hearts and homes. Plus, it’s a fantastic excuse to eat pan de muerto and drink some good tequila. Win-win, right?
Choosing Who Goes on Your Altar
Now, here’s where it gets personal. Who do you put on your altar? Well, that’s entirely up to you, my friend. In my family, we keep it to immediate family members – parents, grandparents, siblings, and (heaven forbid) children. But hey, if you want to include your great-aunt Mildred who always snuck you candy when your mom wasn’t looking, go for it! There are no hard and fast rules here.
The key is to choose people who were significant in your life. Those who shaped you, loved you, or maybe even drove you a little crazy (in the best way possible). Remember, this is about honoring their memory and the impact they had on your life. So, whether it’s family, friends, or even beloved pets, if they left a pawprint on your heart, they deserve a spot on that altar!
Now, Let’s Get Down to Business: Creating Your Altar Step-by-Step
Step 1: Location, Location, Location!
First things first, we need to choose where to set up our altar. In my house, we use the fireplace hearth. It’s perfect – centrally located, plenty of space, and it gives me an excuse not to clean the chimney for another month.
Pro tip: If you’re using your fireplace like we do, make sure you don’t plan on lighting any fires before November 3rd. Unless, of course, you want to give your ancestors a warm welcome… and possibly burn down your house in the process. Safety first, people!
Step 2: Deck the Halls… I Mean, Altar
Now that we’ve got our spot, it’s time to decorate! This is where you can let your creativity shine. I personally love to use:
- Colorful table runners (the brighter, the better!)
- Papel picado (those beautiful paper banners)
- Flameless candles (because, again, we don’t want to burn the house down)
- LED lights (to give it that otherworldly glow)
Feel free to add your own flair! Maybe your abuela loved sunflowers, or your dad was obsessed with the Cowboys. Incorporate those personal touches – that’s what makes your altar unique. I usually add the personal touches on Dia de los Muertos. For an example, there is always pan con leche for my Abuelito Manuel and a Big Mac for my Tio Narcizo.
Step 3: Make a List, Check It Twice
It’s time to channel your inner Santa ( I know I’m mix metaphoring with my holiday vernacular) and make a list. But instead of naughty or nice, we’re listing our beloved departed. Now, I come from a family big enough to populate a small country, so I had to set some boundaries. I stick to the immediate family – from my children (I include my beloved third child, Declan, who I never got to hold but hopefully that section stays empty for a long, long time on yours) up to my grandparents.
For extended family and friends, I have a special “Book of the Dead.” No, it’s not as ominous as it sounds! It’s just a beautiful journal where I write the names of all those other special people we want to remember. This book gets a place of honor on the altar too.
Step 4: Picture This
Next up, it’s time to print some photos. This is where you get to take a trip down memory lane. Grab your Kleenex, this is the part that hits me right in my feels. Choose photos that capture the essence of your loved ones – maybe that picture of Grandpa mid-laugh at a family BBQ, or the one of your college roommate making that ridiculous face she always did.
Now, frames. You’ve got three options here:
1. Buy in bulk from places like Amazon. Pro: Matching frames. Con: Might break the bank.
2. Hit up your local Dollar Tree. Pro: Cheap as chips. Con: Might look like you bought them at Dollar Tree.
3. If you are independently wealthy and money is not an obstacle, you can hit up fancier shops and buy individual frames to match the vibe of those you are honoring on your altar.
Choose your favorites. Personally, I mix and match. It adds character… at least that’s what I tell myself.
Step 5: Arrange and Rearrange
Time to play interior decorator! Arrange those frames on your altar. There’s no right or wrong way to do this, but I like to mix and match my family and my husband’s side. Usually, people put the oldest generation at the top and work their way down. It’s like a family tree, but more… vertical. I, personally, the baby I lost at the top because for me, that is the biggest loss I’ve suffered so far in this life.
As you’re setting up, feel free to add more decorations. Maybe some battery-operated string lights to give it that magical glow, or some marigolds (the official flower of Day of the Dead) to brighten things up. I also add Monarch mariposas ( butterflies). Why?
Butterflies hold a special significance in Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) altars and traditions. Here’s an explanation of their importance:
1. Symbol of souls: In Mexican folklore and Aztec beliefs, butterflies are often seen as representations of the souls of the departed. They’re believed to embody the spirits of loved ones who have passed away.
2. Return of spirits: Monarchs in particular are associated with Dia de los Muertos because their annual migration to Mexico coincides with the holiday. This timing has led to the belief that the butterflies carry the souls of the deceased back to the world of the living for this brief reunion.
3. Transformation and rebirth: Butterflies symbolize transformation due to their life cycle. This connects to the idea of life, death, and rebirth that is central to Dia de los Muertos.
4. Aztec mythology: In Aztec mythology, the goddess Itzpapalotl was depicted as an obsidian butterfly. This further cements the connection between butterflies and the spiritual realm in Mexican culture.
5. Decoration: Paper or fabric butterflies are often used to decorate ofrendas (altars) as a way to welcome and represent the spirits of the deceased.
6. Natural beauty: Butterflies add a touch of natural beauty and color to the altar, complementing the other vibrant decorations typically used.
7. Freedom of the soul: The ability of butterflies to fly freely is sometimes interpreted as representing the freedom of the soul after death.
When including butterflies on a Dia de los Muertos altar, they’re often placed near photos of the deceased or scattered among the other offerings. They serve as a beautiful and meaningful addition to the altar, reinforcing the connection between the living and the dead during this special time of remembrance and celebration.
Step 6: Add the Finishing Touches
Now for the fun part – personalizing your altar with ofrendas (offerings) for your loved ones. This is where you really get to show how well you knew them. Did Tio Ramon have a sweet tooth? Mine did. Put out his favorite candies. Did GiGi like margaritas? A small bottle of her favorite tequila might be in order (and no, you can’t drink it yourself… at least not until after November 2nd).
Some ideas for ofrendas:
- Favorite foods and drinks
- Personal items (Dad’s old pipe, Mom’s favorite lipstick)
- Candles
- Sugar skulls (bonus points if you make them yourself!)
- Pan de muerto (because who doesn’t love bread?)
Remember, the more personal, the better. This is about creating a space that would make your loved ones feel at home if they were to pop in for a visit.
The Final Touch: Making It Meaningful
Here’s the thing, creating a Day of the Dead altar isn’t just about following steps or making things look pretty. It’s about creating a space for remembrance, for storytelling, for keeping the spirits of our loved ones alive in our hearts and homes.
As you’re setting up your altar, take time to remember. Tell stories about the people you’re honoring. Laugh about their quirks, cry about how much you miss them, maybe even argue with them a little (hey, old habits die hard). This process isn’t just about honoring the dead – it’s about healing the living.
So, there you have it – your step-by-step guide to creating a Day of the Dead altar that would make your ancestors proud (and maybe a little jealous they didn’t think of it first). Now, I want to see what you create!
Share photos of your altars on social media with the hashtag #MyDayOfTheDeadAltar. Let’s create a virtual community of remembrance, sharing stories and honoring our loved ones together. And hey, if you’re feeling really brave, share a story about one of the people on your altar. Let’s keep their memories alive, one post at a time.
Remember, creating a Day of the Dead altar isn’t about perfection – it’s about love, memory, and maybe a little bit of tequila. So don’t stress if it’s not magazine-worthy. As long as it comes from the heart, you’re doing it right.
Now go forth and create, my fellow memory-keepers. And maybe, just maybe, you’ll feel a little closer to those you’ve lost in the process. After all, isn’t that what Día de los Muertos is all about?
Until next time, keep those memories alive and those candles (flameless, of course) burning!
2024/10/11
Father’s Day a Baby Changes Everything
Today is Father’s Day and I wanted to take a moment to acknowledge two of the most important men in my life; my father who gave me life and my husband, who gave me new life as a mother. These two men have and will always have a place with me, I carry their heart in my heart.
Father’s Day~A Baby Changes Everything
Papi,
You have always been strong in mind, body and soul. When I was a child I ran to your strong arms to protect me from the world. Your chest was where I laid my weary toddler head for consolation from a frightening night terror. When I was a teenager, you spoke to me your words of wisdom about life but I was too young to fully comprehend the weight of the mysteries of the world that you were sharing. You are not often seen as vulnerable, but on my wedding day you wept with tears of joy and loss and I understand that now. Now that I am a woman with children of my own, your wisdom is not wasted. I crave the answers that you can give. I watch you silent in prayer, the way you still quietly approach my mother and caress the arch of her back, or the way that you play with my children with the verve and enthusiasm of a 20-year-old and I am breathless. You truly love them as much as I love them and that makes me love you even more. I am so proud to be your daughter and to continue to know you as a person and a friend.There is so much that we never know about our parents, as people (aside from just being our parent), and I cherish every secret and childhood memory that you share with me.Every glimpse of my father, the man, helps me to appreciate who you are and why you are the way you are in the world. Thank you for always loving me, even when we didn’t understand one another or agree. I love you, Papi.

My Dad & my girls & my nephew
Big Guy,
What can I say to the man who made me a mother? You changed my life forever. You are truly everything, I never knew, I always wanted in this world. You came into my life and redefined my expectations. The moment you held our daughters in your arms I saw you fall deeply in love and in doing so, I fell deeper in love with you than I ever imagined was possible. Thank you for the unconditional love that you always show our daughters( and me).The unwavering awe in which you embrace who they are and who they are becoming. Thank you for your patience and understanding even when you don’t understand fully why it is needed. Thank you for being the strong example by which our daughters will measure all men. Thank you for being my partner in parenting and not just a bystander.I love you more than I can describe and I am so happy to be on this journey of parenthood with you. No one else would ever suffice for me or the girls. All my love.
My Girls and The Big Guy; my loves in life
Father’s Day~A Baby Changes Everything
Wishing a Happiest of Father’s Day to all the men who love their children with a verve and enthusiasm! May you continue to raise daughters and sons who appreciate your worth and experience your unwavering unconditional love.
2011/06/19
Getting to Know you Sunday!
Questions are:
1.If you had 5000.00 to spend on plastic surgery what would you have done?
Well, I would definitely have the “girls” placed back to their original location because we all know the bigger they are, the harder they fall! I’d probably also have those girls evened out. If I had any money left over, which I probably wouldn’t, maybe some ass implants since I definitely have a case of the Mexican flat bootie disease. If there was more, tummy tuck, botox, and maybe some collagen for the lips. Just saying, off the top of my head:)
2. Do you watch Soap operas and if so what is your favorite and why?
No soap operas since high school, but I am definitely a follower of TRUE BLOOD. Why you ask? Because, Vampires are apparently hot.. I think its the whole glamouring/ sucking on your neck thing plus they never age and they are apparently SMOKIN HOT!
3. Favorite clothing brand?
As long as its cute, I don’t care. But I do love Burberry, Louboutin, Diane Von Furstenberg, Anthropologie, and Juicy..to name a few!
4. An afternoon shopping spree at your favorite store or maid service for a year?
Actually, how about a spa day! That’s what I rally need!
5. Would you ever vajazzle?
Sure, why not… I try everything at least twice!
6. Favorite Disney Princess?
I love Tiana from the Princess and the frog because she was very “real” but I also love Belle from Beauty and the Beast because she reminds me of my girls, Izabella and Gabriella!
7. Last movie that made you bawl your eyes out?
Lots make me cry, most recent… Mamma Mia. I know you are saying… what? Well, when the “Slipping through my fingers” song came on, my then 4 year old looked up and me and said.” Mommy… this is mine and your song!” Now, every time I hear it I cry!
8. Have you ever broken any bones and if so what?
Yes, arm.. roller dome skating accident when I was 11. Tripped over my little sister who I was skating with. It really hurt but at least I didn’t hurt my little sister!
2010/06/27
Is Mommy Who you are or what you do?
In most instances, people are not what they do, but in Motherhood the marriage of the two is as seamless as the Separation of Church and state in Rome. In no other aspect of our lives does one single event of our life forever define who we are to the outside world as does becoming a Mother. It not only instantaneously changes how we view ourselves, how our family and friends view us; it changes the way we are viewed by the entire world. It’s not like being a Republican or Democrat, you can’t hide that you are a Mommy. Besides being recognizable by the obvious changes of Motherhood; your body, the tethering of a small human being to your side for 18+ years, and chronic food/spit/shit/ or urine on your clothing. There are also the not so obvious changes, the slow softening around the edges, the small appendage roaming the world freely (your heart), and the ever present elation filled with sadness and extreme exhaustion readily seen on most, if not all, Mommies faces.
The moment we become a Mother in our minds, whether it be at conception, labor, the moment we hold that newborn, or at that moment they first call out for us, we are changed forever. Never again to be that same woman we were before that moment, at least not entirely. However, where is the line between being their Mommy and the woman independent of the child? We become so consumed with the task at hand (being said Mommy) that we sometimes forget about the woman behind the miracle.
I sometimes look at my girls and I am in awe that I have anything to do with molding such amazing little humans; little lone that I am the sole reason they are on this earth. In those instances, I feel as if I am capable of accomplishing almost anything. I feel as if my potential is limitless. Then I catch a glimpse of myself in my ponytail and yoga pants and I feel like an incredible failure. How can someone who can do so many amazing things for and with her children have such little regard for herself? I am barely recognizable to myself in the mirror. I have become so immersed in their lives, their dreams and goals that I have forgotten about my own. Well, obviously I have not entirely forgotten, since I am referencing and acknowledging the fact that I ever had dreams and goals of my own, but I have certainly pushed myself to the side in many ways.
Like most Mommies, I do this willingly. After all, isn’t Martyrdom #1 in the Mommy manual? Nevertheless, am I really doing them any favors in the end? I have girls, so do I want to be the example that imprints on their tiny brains that being a Mommy= losing yourself and relinquishing all of your hopes and dreams? Obviously, that would be a resounding Hell no! That would be, by far, the greatest disservice that I could ever do to my girls. I think to be a really great Mommy, we have to be willing to let our children see us as humans and as women with interests, hopes, and dreams outside of just being their Mother. I struggle with this daily. Most days, I lose the battle.
Our children are our top priority but shouldn’t we be a priority on our own life, as well? Our children need to see us succeed, fail, survive it all and to pick ourselves up and continue on. If I were practicing as a lawyer or a doctor, I would not let it engulf my entire life. I would still allow myself outside interests, friends, hopes, and dreams. If we don’t do the same with Motherhood, who will we be when our children are grown and don’t need us to be their every thing? How will we define who we are if we have completely forgotten who we were?
2010/12/27
Why Your Personality Might Be Sabotaging Your Career
Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
You hear about people matching their clothing, home interior and cars to their personality, but what about your career? It makes sense to dress in a way that feels suited to your personality, but it makes more sense to choose a career that perfectly fits who you are as a person.
In fact, more people need to be chasing a career that is a good match for their traits, preferences and motives. Like seriously, where was this information when I was meeting with my university advisors. But, better late than never, as my daughter is now making her career choice at university.
When you’re choosing your career it’s important to consider all aspects of your personality at the same time. A holistic approach to life is always a good idea. I’ve always heard the saying, “choose to do something you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Obviously, that’s not true, tbh, you’ll work harder than you ever thought possible ( especially if you’re working for yourself) but you won’t be so miserable because you’ll be doing something you love. That’s the key.
These choices will keep you happy while working your butt off, and you’ll be more likely to get along with the people on your team because you’re just happy to be there. Whether you’re an introvert looking for a job with independence or an extrovert seeking a chance to be a leader, here are a handful of reasons why your personality is so important when it comes to solidifying your career path.
You Will Enjoy What You Do
You deserve to go through life enjoying all aspects of your career and truly loving what you do. It can bring you so much more motivation and joy when you are personally well-suited to your chosen career path. Learning more about Strong-Interest Inventory will give you a better idea of how people match their interests to their career, educational paths and more. After all, doing something that you actually care about and align with can bring you much more happiness in the long run. Now would be the ideal time to delve deeper into your hobbies, favorite subject matters and personal background so that you can uncover a career that is well-suited to you in every sense.
You Will Fit Into The Workplace
Feeling part of a community in your workplace is something that will help you to connect with the people around you. If you surround yourself with others who are similar to you, it’s likely that you’ll form strong friendships and successful working relationships with them too. If you’re a loud and outgoing person, it may be likely for you to go into the media or communications industry. However, if you’re a more private person you may prefer a role in accounting or IT. It’s clear to see that there are certain career paths that will be more suited to you than others.
You Will Experience Much More Success
If you fit into your chosen industry seamlessly you will instantly have more confidence. When you have confidence in yourself, you are, therefore, much more likely to experience more success along the way. When it comes to finding the perfect career for your personality, it’s important to look beyond the career as a whole and focus on the actual day to day role. If your personality traits are aligned with these tasks, you are much more likely to find success.
You Will Be More Productive
You will naturally be better at a job role that is well suited to your personality. This not only gives you the natural skills to succeed, but it also helps you to be more productive and motivated too. Productivity is key to when you’re hoping to have a thriving career that is full of opportunities. Usually, there is only one reason why a person may be lacking in productivity, and this is because of a dip in their skills or lowered interest in their actual field of work.
You’ll Discover More About Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Learning more about yourself will provide you with so many more opportunities when it comes to career progression. Discovering your personal and professional strengths and weaknesses as you navigate your chosen career path will help you to improve in all areas. Knowing what you need to work on can give you a huge step forward in every aspect of your career, and it creates a huge level of self awareness along the way too. Developing a clear action plan will help you to discover the best options for your career so that you can make the next step forward. Any weaknesses that you discover along the way can be enhanced through courses, practicing and coaching. Honing in on any skill and working on any shortfalls is a positive step towards finding a career that is well suited to your personality.
When you take the time to consider all of your personality traits when you’re looking for a job, you will soon find that your career satisfaction increases and your overall happiness improves too. Hopefully, you have the tools, ideas and inspiration to make the right choice for you and your future career.
2024/03/26