Ever had an instance in your adult life as a Mommy where you felt like you were instantaneously back in high school? That instance of which I talk is Mean Mommies; otherwise known as Mommies who like to bully.None of us are perfect, we’re all just trying to survive and get through this part of our life without significantly damaging our children and hopefully with all of our hair in tact. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely Love being a Mommy. It is exactly where I always knew, that I always wanted to be; sharing my life with some amazing little people, loving on them and making some memories. But there are those times when we all need a little lifeline. I’ve referenced my issue with talking incessantly when I am around other Mommies. It’s the sheer fact that I need that adult conversation to keep my brain from turning to mush. I also happen to love having that sounding board to bounce all of my craziness off of and have someone else nod there head in agreement. These little things are what get us through the rough times. These small gestures from our sisters in the field; help us to make sense of it all and put it into perspective; to actually enjoy this wonderful part of life we are experiencing, regardless of how exhausted or stressed out we may be. Sometimes, we put our hand out for a hand up, we make ourselves vulnerable to a new person because we think we could all use another friend and instead of friendship extended, we get bupkis. Shut down and denied like a husband trying to get some sugar during that first month you’re home with a newborn. It just ain’t happening. I’ve watched it happen. A Mommy introduces herself into a conversation between two other Mommies, at some child oriented function i.e gymnastics, Gymboree, ballet, soccer, and she is shut completely down. Denied. Ignored. The other Mommies act as if they never even heard her speak. It is not pretty and it is certainly not nice.Don’t we want to be better examples than that for our own children? I don’t want my girls running around thinking they are better than anyone else, or having a sense of entitlement. We are all people and ,as such, we should all be treated equally. Please, Mean Girls are bad enough..is there really any place in this world for Mean Mommies? I think not!
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Things my Daughters Taught Me
I thought this Motherhood gig was all about me shaping, molding, teaching these little, adorable human beings of mine. I knew it would be loads of work, and it is. It is a grueling 24 hour a day job that never stops. I knew (in theory) that was what I was in for but I never expected what I actually got.As tired as I am most days and holding on for dear life to my last string of sanity, I am always amazed. I never expected to learn anything from my children. Come on, everything they know..I taught them, right? Apparently not. I guess I have to relinquish some of the pride in my nurturing because I have to admit, I’m pretty sure there is a lot of nature in it.For instance, my 2 year old who is so honest at times that she actually scares me.Many times I have asked her to do something and she will simply say no. Ask her why, she will say because she doesn’t want to.In a world full of excuses, this little girl makes none. She is who she is, and that’s who she is..Deal with it! It used to annoy me that she would just say no she didn’t want to.Let’s be honest, us Mommies, we do a lot of things that we don’t want to. I know for a fact I don’t want to do dishes, fold laundry, cook, run errands, pay bills, keep appointments or obligations but that’s my life. That’s being an adult, right? The more I think of it, why can’t I take a cue from my 2 year old in her infinite wisdom. I mean wouldn’t it be the nicer thing to do then to be insulting and come up with ridiculous excuses why you can’t do things. I appreciate her honesty and her braveness with her integrity is admirable. When my 2 year old does decide to help you, it is whole hearted and it is selfless and it is beautiful. From my 5 year old, I have learned to be fearless. I know where she gets this, I do remember a time when that was me.Since having my girls, I have become much less reckless and more cautious because every day with them is the most important of my life. My Bella will do whatever it takes to achieve her goals. It doesn’t matter if it scares the hell outta her, she will pursue it with a fierceness. There is not much she can’t do. In fact, I don’t think there is anything that she can’t do..if she puts her mind to it. Her spirit is free and her heart is open. She loves with abandon and if you are lucky enough to be one of those who she does love; she will walk through hell to make you happy.My daughters have reminded me that I can do anything that I set my mind to.They have also reminded me to have integrity and pride. I am embracing love with full abandon. I am learning to be honest with myself, to be fearless and to relish all that life has to offer. They have also taught me that a child’s giggle, their little hand in yours, a snuggle, a kiss goodnight, their true smile..can melt your heart and make you feel more vulnerable then you ever thought possible. They have taught me that the world is a beautiful, miraculous place where everything is possible.Nestled in between the Rock and the Hard place
The last few days, life has been weighing on me like a ton of bricks. I’ve been somewhat of an emotional wreck.I’m feeling as if I am falling short..in every avenue.
I have become accustomed to the weight of the world pushing down on my shoulders like a spring about to be sprung at anytime. This I am used to but kept telling myself..”I” can do this. It’s only for a few more months. I can hold it together.If the Big Guy can go away to support his family, leave his home and his children..I can do this. I am afforded the luxury of staying in my own home with our little family by my side. Sure the silence after they go to bed is deafening and sometimes heartbreaking, but it is the least I can do.I owe it to ‘Us’ to be able to do this.Of course, I have my occasional breakdowns and find myself having a nice long, ugly cry over some seemingly innocuous incident. But then I move on and I am free of the pressure for a little while.
But I forgot about one vital piece of information…them. More important than can I do this, can they do this.
Bella had a terrible time last year when this all began.She had to leave her preschool with all her friends, her teacher, her life.Then when the Big Guy had to leave this past spring again, she was a wreck.He had to leave the day before her 5th birthday. An angry, displaced, overwhelmed little basket of nerves. I understood. I gave her some time and space. I was there with hugs and consolation. I was there overflowing with understanding and love.Always standing by with love. I never want them to feel a lack of love because of the lack of people around to give it. It broke my heart to watch her have to go through this at such a young age. To feel such misery and discombobulation is awful for anyone to experience. Eventually, the anger subsided. She grew up..too much and too fast because she was forced to accept the situation and learn to live with it.This breaks my heart to know that she has lost some of her innocence about the world because of money. I hate to see my children want for anything, especially when it is their Daddy, whom they really do hang the moon on.
There was one person who was silent through it all, my Gabs. Gabs is 3 and this situation with the Big Guy having to be gone, for work, has been going on since right around the time she turned 2.She was just a baby, really. So, I never considered how it would affect her. I don’t think I even put her into the equation because she was so small. However now, she is 3 and a half and she has found her voice.She notices everything and she has an opinion.The last 8 months have consisted of me being here with my girls trying to figure it all out, the Big Guy being gone, on his own,alone.It’s been Christmas Fridays and funeral Sunday nights left standing on the stoop, while watching through tear filled eyes as my girls run down the road waving bye to their Daddy;screaming “I love you” at the top of their lungs. It’s been Sunday nights filled with meltdowns of little girls missing their Daddy. Its been week nights of soothing little broken hearts calling out for their Daddy. It’s been hard all the way around. Lately, Gabs has been acting out.She cries for her Daddy almost nightly and she tells me on a regular basis that she hates me and quite frequently can be heard asking “You hate me, don’t you?” I know that she doesn’t hate me but lately her question has been cutting like a knife through my soul. She wants her Daddy and I am beginning to wonder if she doesn’t think I am punishing her by not being together. Does she think I have control of this situation? In her little mind, does she think I have willingly chosen to keep us all apart?
It’s almost too much for my heart to bear.The rock and the hard place that I am nestled between is this; Bella is finally comfortable in school ( after being yanked out of her school in Virginia last year) and has finally made friends after the alienation episode at the beginning of this semester. I feel like I owe it to her to make life as normal as possible. After all , she is the child and I am her parent so I need to sacrifice to do what is best for her. That has been the plan since we first pulled this nasty trick on her. The Big Guy and I agreed to sacrifice so that the kids could remain in their home, their city, until the end of the school year..to give them security and stability. It’s been incredibly difficult but it seemed to be what was best.
Now,little Gabs is begging me to move us to be with the Big Guy; crying nightly, angry, confused, melancholy and still so small. What do I do? How do I choose? One scenario I pull Bella out, once again, and she has to start over..yet again. That doesn’t seem fair. But then on the other hand, Gabs only wants to be with her father.Its such a simple request and a luxury that all children ,with two happily married people,should be afforded.But even this simple request, I can’t provide for the little people that I love more than life itself.This weighs heavily on my soul.Am I making the right choice? How can I choose one of my children’s happiness over the other? What are going to be the ramifications of these choices we are making today for our children down the line?Am I damaging my little ones?
So, here I sit alone in the quiet reevaluating every decision that I have made since the beginning of this entire situation.The last 24 hours have been a roller coaster of emotions. It started with goodbye on a Sunday night, the girls started crying and they wore down the armor around my heart.And I haven’t been able to regain my strength and stability, the weight of their little breaking hearts has knocked me off of my feet.Today has been a succession of crying over movies, tv shows, Gabs telling me that she hates me, and a bedtime reading of Love You Forever. I feel like a fragile ball of exposed nerves roaming free in the world. I am exhausted from the gravity of this whole ordeal. For now, I’ll pull my armor back on and regain my balance, for my girls. But I have to do some very serious soul searching. We think we are giving our children everything they could hope for but in the end, it boils down to what everything is to our children. For my girls, everything is a good night hug from their Daddy. It is priceless. How do I choose who deserves to be happiest? How do I tell one that their needs has to be put aside for the others?
Protection for Your Most Precious Belonging
Disclosure: I’ve been compensated in the form of a Best Buy Gift Card and/or received the Norton Core™ at a reduced price or for free.
How much of your life is online?
For me living in the digital age means many of life’s most precious things are held online; the videos of my daughters being born, our wedding video, all the photos of our life and my work; all the stories and memories we’ve created throughout our life so far, digitized and in living color.
And even the things that seem less important are still pretty vital to our existence, our financial records, our privacy, our history, a record of payments and earnings, home security; basically everything we do now is online from homework to dental records and everything in between.
What that means is that my online security is almost as important as my actual physical safety. What that means to me is that I need to take that security very seriously. I need to protect all that is precious and dear to me with the fierceness and ferociousness that I would protect my own children with. That’s why I take my cyber security seriously. I can’t let those memories, moments, pieces of our lives be compromised for one second.
Norton Core™ is a secure, high-performance WiFi router that helps protect your home network and an unlimited number of your connected devices, including computers, mobile and smart home devices against malware, viruses, hackers, and cybercriminals before they can infiltrate your home and compromise your personal information. Think of it as a personal bodyguard for your online existence.
Norton Core™ is a high-performance and easy to set-up WiFi router that allows you to stream your favorite movies in 4K, play online games and download content with its powerful dual-core processor.
Norton Core™ offers multi-layer protection. Think of it as a bodyguard for your bodyguard. No one is getting past this thing without a serious fight on their hands. It’s comprehensive network security to protect your connected home from malware, viruses, phishing tactics and botnets. If you’re not familiar with how cybersecurity works, you can learn what is a firewall here. You can also find in Venyu some articles about protecting your business against the aforementioned things.
Bonus, Norton Core™ protects all of your connected devices. A 1-year subscription to Norton Core Security Plus is included to protect your Macs, PCs, tablets, Smartphones and smart devices.
Lastly, but certainly not least, Norton Core™ enables you to manage screen time by setting content filters or daily limits on usage. And if the situation calls for it, you can pause the Internet in your house. That’s what I call smart parental controls.
I love Norton Core™ for all that it does to protect my favorite and most precious things that I entrust online and it’s hard to believe that all this protection comes in such a small, sleek piece machinery that looks more like a piece of art than my family’s bodyguard.
When You Just Need a Moment for Yourself
Disclosure: I have been compensated in the form of a Best Buy Gift Card and/or received the product/service at a reduced price or for free.
Do you ever feel like you need a vacation from all the craziness surrounding you? Sometimes things are just a bit much and an escape is just what you need.
As a mom, I love doing all the mom things but sometimes quiet is more than a luxury, it is a necessity. I remember the days when I had control of the music in the car, in the house and in my world.
Music has always been a big part of my life. I come from musicians on my dad’s side. I need music like I need air. I need the soundtrack of my life playing loud and audibly enough for me to be able to hear it. Sometimes that soundtrack is what gets me through the day.
Music can lift your mood, elevate your spirit and take you away, deeper and more completely into a moment. Some songs can move you to cathartic tears of sadness and others to tears of joy. Music is a way that you can express every single emotion that you feel and we all need that release.
Like I said, I’m a mom. My time, my day, my life and certainly my music are not always mine these days. I share it with the people I love and sometimes that means relenting.
There is a way to have both; your music, your family and the occasional moment of much-needed silence. Sony’s new industry-leading noise canceling WH-1000XM3 headphones has evolved to further immerse you in your music with a proprietary noise cancellation processor, quick charge capabilities, and an updated comfortable design.
You can listen all day with up to 30 hours of battery life and quick charging gives you 5 hours of playback with just a quick 10-minute charge. I wish my phone could do that.
Sony’s proprietary HD Noise Canceling Processor QN1 brings WH-1000XM3 to the pinnacle of noise cancellation. Instantly, you will be able to shut out the world for a moment’s peace and much deserved quiet.
The 40mm drivers with Liquid Crystal Polymer (LCP) diaphragms are Hi-Res Audio compatible, reproducing a full range of frequencies.
The WH-1000XM3 headphones also provide smart listening via adaptive sound control which automatically detects your activity and balances noise canceling levels accordingly. Now, that is smart listening.
What would be your favorite WH-1000XM3 noise canceling headphones escape destination? Favorite song? Or just enjoying the silence?
MY First EVER….Throat Punch Thursday
Throat Punch Thursday~ So, all week, I have been waiting for Throat Punch Thursday because, let’s face it, I’ve had a crappy week and I had a ton of shit to complain about..shark week will do that ya know? There was so much I wanted to punch in the throat. Then today, asshole that life can sometimes be, the sun comes out and life is all diamonds and ice cream ( yeah, its my own new saying..watch everyone will be saying it soon). I mean seriously, the day that I actually need to have a throat punch delivered life plays a happy joke on me. My husband is coming home in the morning..yey! SO, I can’t throat punch him. My girls were super awesome ( probably because I wasn’t being a raging bitch), so couldn’t would absolutely NEVER throat Punch them. I actually get to have a real life, honest to goodness Anniversary date with my husband this weekend, complete with fancy restaurant, movie and drinks ( MIL is coming to sit, so I can stay out and play in peace!) Certainly, NO throat punch there. Then I looked in the mirror and much to my OMG WTF! chagrin, seems I have spontaneously developed a bindi smack dab in the center of my forehead! Can I throat punch a pimpleBindi? Seriously, the weekend of my first date alone with my husband in what seems like a hundred years but is actually more like 5 ( still…a very long time). Where’s that little bastards throat? I’m punching…and then I am snapping a photo for posterity’s sake! Take that blemish, you bastard!
Crap!! So, I was trying to look up a photo of a bindi or a pimple to illustrate my point about my blemish when I came across this photo of Bindi and Steve Irwin. Buzz kill. I have a new candidate for a throat punch, pimple step aside, the damn Stingray that killed the Crocodile hunter. It’s gotta be a hard one, its 4 years too late but it still breaks my heart. My Bella has always loved the Wiggles Safari video, as does her lil sis Gabs, and every single time I see that crocodile hunter….I want to cry. So, new plan..I’m throat punching the damn stingray who iced the Crocodile hunter. What a cheeky bastard to do some dirty shit like kill a kids hero! Bindi, this ones for you! Truthful Mommy’s going to throat punch the crap outta that stingray and maybe Elizabeth Hasselbeck too ( just because she really friggin annoys me!)
Disney+ GODMOTHERED the Fairy Tale Reimagined Inclusively
Looking for a family-friendly Christmas movie to enjoy with the whole family on a Friday night while decorating the tree or baking Christmas cookies? I’ve got you covered. We just watched Disney+ GODMOTHERED. It was the perfect fit for this girl mom and dad and our teen girls. It was refreshing and super cute with a new twist on the old fairy tale. Disney+ GODMOTHERED the fairy tale reimagined inclusively for everyone.
Set in Boston (one of our favorite cities, check out or visit Boston with teens guide if you’ve never been) at Christmastime, GODMOTHERED is a comedy about Eleanor, a young, inexperienced fairy godmother-in-training (Jillian Bell) who upon hearing that her chosen profession is facing extinction, decides to show the world that people still need fairy godmothers. Finding a mislaid letter from a 10-year-old girl in distress, Eleanor tracks her down and discovers that the girl, Mackenzie, is now a jaded and defeated 40-year-old single mom (Isla Fisher) working at a news station in Boston. Having lost her husband several years earlier, Mackenzie has all but given up on the idea of “Happily Ever After,” but Eleanor is bound and determined to give Mackenzie a happiness makeover, whether she likes it or not.
As a modern-day feminist raising strong girls, GODMOTHERED was everything I wanted in a warm, fuzzy holiday movie. It’s about more than happy endings, it is about girl power, loving yourself first because the most important person you need to love you is yourself and the courage to keep going even when life feels like it has no happy endings left to give. Be brave enough to make your own happy ending; there is no right or wrong, there is just happiness and it can look different for every person.
Eleanor seeks out Mackenzie to give her the typical happy ending that we’ve all been raised to believe is what we want and need. Meet the prince, marry the prince and live happily ever after but life isn’t a fairy tale and sometimes things don’t turn out the way we hoped or planned; sometimes happiness is something other than typical but equally as magical. Sometimes the happily ever after comes after surviving the hard parts of life. Maybe the hard parts make us able to recognize and appreciate the good things.
READ ALSO: Disney’s The Nutcracker and the Four Realms
Mackenzie meets Hugh Prince ( Venezuelan actor, Santiago Cabrera) and he’s a great guy who she works with. Over the course of the movie, she realizes that she does like the prince but she doesn’t need him. Her true love is her daughters and best friend. True love is everywhere if we’re willing and able to look past the expectation.
In Eleanor’s quest to give Mackenzie what she thinks will make her happy, all the while proving that fairy godmothers are not obsolete, both women learn a valuable lesson; we all have worth and happy endings come in all different kinds of ways. There is not just one ending that makes us happy. Happiness is in the heart of the beholder.
GODMOTHERED is endearing, funny and warm. At times it feels as though the happily ever after narrative is being forced upon us, but isn’t that the case in real life? As women, haven’t we all felt that narrative thrust upon us by society, our mothers and grandmothers before us? In the end, GODMOTHERED reflects the change and evolution of girls and women in our world today. We can do and be anything we want. We can have our careers, families, love and happiness too.
This updated fairytale is subtly empowering like the soft breeze of generations of women past lifting us up and giving us the courage to pursue our own path of happiness, whether that includes sharing our lives with a prince, another princess, children, alone or immersing ourselves in our careers. We make our own happiness, we only need to be brave enough to take a chance and go for it.
Will you be watching Disney + GODMOTHERED this holiday season?
9 Ways to Grow Closer to Your Spouse and Stronger as a Family
Estimated reading time: 8 minutes
It’s a little frightening how many people I know my age have gotten divorced recently. I’m sure the pandemic didn’t help. You really get to know someone when you’re trapped in a house with them for 16 months. CoVid was a marital stress of epic proportions. I’m sure even the healthiest couples thought about it at least once during the past few months.
This is why I am constantly trying to think of ways to grow closer to my spouse and ways to grow stronger as a family.
Some of the couples I thought were perfect for one another, called it quits quietly. Divorce is, unfortunately, pretty prevalent these days with about 39% of all marriages ending in an uncoupling. Let’s be honest, no one gets married to get divorced but no one gets married to be unhappy either. Honestly, if the marriage isn’t working out, there are only 3 ways it can go 1) work together to grow together and hope it’s enough 2) do nothing and stay in a miserable marriage (this shouldn’t even be an option) 3) divorce and move on with your life.
The thing is sometimes there is someone to blame, sometimes people just fall out of love and sometimes people grow apart. It’s not a crime but it’s not exactly the happily ever after any of us dreamed of. People are busier than ever before; kids are overscheduled, parents are overworked, overwhelmed and exhausted and no one has time to just be present anymore. This is where things can start to slowly fall through the cracks and no one even notice it.
The best thing we can do as couples is spending quality time together; one-on-one facetime, listening and touching. Hugs, holding hands, kissing and saying I love you may seem trivial because you assume the other person just knows but they don’t. Words and actions matter. It never hurts to speak it into existence. Take the time, say it and do it. It can mean the difference between 2 months and 20 years. This applies to building relationships with your children too.
9 ways to grow closer to your spouse and ways to grow stronger as a family
Eat Together
Every day, everyone is in a hurry to get to work or school. Usually, breakfast is hurried, lunch is spent at work or school so make dinner count. This is something my parents do and something, the Big Guy and I have made a point of doing. Dinner every night at 5, unless there is an extracurricular, in which case, we all wait until we’re all there. Sharing meals is one of the best ways to come together as a family and check in with one another.
Whenever you share a meal, stay focused by implementing a no phone and no television rule. Instead, be present and talk to one another.
Do the boring stuff together
Chores and errands often feel like a lot of work and no fun. Obviously, kids (and adults alike) would rather spend their days with friends, relaxing, watching movies or doing anything else other than the menial stuff. Everyone who lives in the house should be responsible for doing their part of the chores and if you do it right (we add loud Latin music, lots of dancing and laughing and a definite start and end time) it can be a great way to bond as a family. Have a list of tasks ready and assign them accordingly; you can perform them together at a set time during the week or weekend when you all can do them together.
Doing chores together fosters teamwork; if one experiences a difficult time, those who complete their tasks first can help and that tiny act shows love. If your kids have demanding schedules, give them deadlines to complete their chores. They’ll soon learn that performing duties together makes it more fun and fast than doing them alone. To make it more rewarding, have something to look forward to afterward, like enjoying a special meal or going out to the movies.
One-on-one time
Spending time as a family is great, but don’t forget to have one-on-ones with each other. It’s about quality not quantity. You can spend half an hour with each of your family members on different days. It’s as simple as asking what they’d like to do. Having one-on-ones with parents is crucial for kids; you get to discover what’s going on in their life away from home and their needs or troubles. One-on-ones with your partner is what feeds the intimacy that will get you through the hard times. Give your partner your full attention when there are no distractions; you can discuss issues to do with family and individual hopes, dreams, and aspirations.
Laugh together
Laughter is said to be food for the soul; it makes a bad day better and helps you bond as a family. Laughing stimulates your immune system and reduces stress; it has been proven to actually add to one’s life. Enjoy every moment you get to share in laughter, whether your husband ripped his pants showing off his killer dance moves at an impromptu kitchen dance party or you’re watching funny TikToks with your family (something we do often as an after-dinner activity). Whenever possible, create time to share stories, play games, or just cut up and laugh together. It relieves tensions and models to not take yourself too seriously to your children.
Attitude of gratitude
Family members do a lot for each other without expecting anything in return; saying thank you after a good deed can go a long way in making someone feel valued. Be appreciative by taking the time to surprise a family member with a gift, note of gratitude, or simply say “thank you” when one does something for you. It teaches respect and instills an attitude of gratitude.
Create family traditions
Family traditions and rituals enable you to create time for each other and memories; they shouldn’t just be for the holidays. Create routines like family movie nights, carving out pumpkins, game nights and baking days, weekly or monthly. Suppose there is an activity that you all enjoy doing, such as playing soccer, attending festivals, or picking strawberries during summer, do them together. These traditions ensure that even when the kids move away, they’ll want to make time to attend and be together with the rest of the family because of the fond memories they have of doing them in the past.
Family vacations
For us, travel is top of the list of things to do to ensure our family grows together. Going away on regular trips gives you quality time as a family, away from busy schedules and school. It allows you the space and time to be present with one another while making new memories together. Include everyone in the planning so that no one feels left out, including the kids. If going away on vacation sounds like fun, start planning, say a month earlier. Include it in the family calendar and inform everyone. Weekend getaways with your spouse can really reignite the fires of romance too and it doesn’t have to be far, just a local hotel will do where you can be man and woman and not just mom and dad.
Exercise as a family
Exercise is personal and I love my time alone, if I’m being honest but other times, I love long walks with my husband, bike rides as a family or a fun HIIT dance workout with my teen girls. If your family is into fitness, working up a sweat together is a healthy and fun way to spend time and bond with each other. Exercising together doesn’t require you to sign up for a boot camp, though that’s also a viable idea. Find simple ways to stay active while outdoors or indoors. When it’s warm, take a walk, run or bike around the block or to the park, create an indoor gym or plan workouts and do them together. If you have a furry friend, take him out for a walk together. It’s not about what you do, it’s about moving and being together.
Make time for family meetings
Meeting as a family is essential for you to check in with each other, discuss plans, or air grievances. We do this daily at dinner time. Family meetings also create an excellent time to discuss upcoming events like chores to perform during the weekend, day trips, or vacations. Schedule meetings on your calendar or check in with everyone to know their availability if it’s impromptu. Let everyone send in their items or issues for the agenda so that all grievances are discussed. To make these meetings effective, establish some guidelines.
Family is the most important thing in life, couples, siblings and parents are all a vital role in it. It takes a lot of time and effort to keep everyone together and thriving. We intentionally set an example early on so that our girls would grow up placing a high value on family. The bottom line is that family is everything so enjoy and cherish your family in all the ways. Never lose sight of the fact that marriage and parenting take effort and don’t just happen. Remember to not take one another for granted and tell people how you feel, happy or sad, before things go left unsaid and unheard for too long.
These are just a few of the ways, I work on my family and my marriage every day. It’s not the only way but it is the way that works for us. What are your best tips for ways to grow closer to your family and ways to grow stronger as a family?
Chicago Shakespeare Theater Presents Shrek the Musical; Awesome for the entire Family!
Recently, we took our children to see Shrek the Musical at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater on Navy Pier.
Our girls have been waiting to see this production since they knew it was on Broadway. Unfortunately, we live in the Midwest and so we have been waiting patiently for Shrek the Musical to come to us. Luckily, I’ve had the pleasure of working with the Chicago Shakespeare Theater for about 4 years now. Our daughters have been to many performances at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater but never have we seen a production like Shrek the Musical. It was bold, bright and outrageous; everything any child or child at heart would want in a production.
Just like the movie, in a faraway kingdom turned upside down, things get ugly when an unseemly ogre, Shrek, not the usual expected handsome prince, shows up to rescue a feisty princess, Fiona.
Throw in a donkey who won’t ever shut up, a hilariously small bad guy with a temper, a fire breathing dragon who needs some love, a cookie with an attitude and a whole bunch of other fairy tale misfits and you’ve got a story that calls for a real hero.
I was really concerned how an onstage adaptation would measure up to an animated movie but let me assure you, it exceeded my expectations in every way. The characters were rich and vibrant, passionate and colorful, and even though they were not cartoon characters, they were larger than life.
Every actor in the production lived and breathed their character. The characters were multidimensional and lovable. I felt like I was part of a fairy tale. If you’ve ever been to a Chicago Shakespeare production, you know that the stage and theater are small and intimate and you feel like you are part of the story, part of the production itself.
I’d advise anyone who lives in the Chicagoland area to bring your whole family to Navy Pier this summer for this heartwarming, 75-minute musical adventure based on the Academy Award-winning film. It recounts the story of a swamp-dwelling ogre who goes on a life-changing adventure to reclaim his once-secluded home.
Accompanied by a wise-cracking donkey, this unlikely hero fights a fearsome dragon and rescues the cursed Princess Fiona. On this fairytale journey, Shrek discovers the value of friendship and realizes that true love is more than skin deep.
Following each performance, audience members are invited to meet the cast in the theater lobby. We did and my girls, and my husband, were thrilled to have their photo taken with Donkey.
In my opinion, make a day of it! We had lunch at Harry Caray’s and walked the pier. It was a beautiful July afternoon in Chicago. The girls rode the merry go round and we made some memories. Then we picked up some Garret’s popcorn and headed home.
If your children liked the Shrek movies, they will adore the stage production. I don’t know that I have ever been quite so captivated by performers. Shrek the Musical calls for big, larger than life character to deliver a larger than life story and this production pleasantly exceeded all of my expectations.
Shrek the Musical will be running at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater from now until September 1, 2013. Tickets are $25 for adults and $18 for children 12 and under.
Disclosure: The Chicago Shakespeare Theater provided me tickets to the production for review but all opinions are my own.
What the Romance of Marriage Really Looks Like
The romance of marriage might not look anything like what you thought it would when you first fell in love. Then again, nothing ever does. Hell, I was the best parent in the world before I gave birth and I had a very specific vision of what my romantic life with the man I loved would look like. I didn’t know shit.
If you are a fan of love stories you definitely have to see this blog post about romance novels at AnyStories that will melt your heart.
In the beginning, romance meant not being able to keep our hands off of one another. It was every minute of every day being together, or at least wanting to be together. It meant nights sitting on rooftops, snuggled together watching the stars and kissing. In the beginning, it was sitting in his lap, long walks late at night talking about everything and nothing all at the same time. We were in college and on that first night, we met and neither of us was particularly interested in the other but by the end of that night, something unexpected happened; he was everything I never knew I always wanted.
We’ve been married now for almost 17 years now, which comes as a shock to everyone, especially since we got engaged after only 4 months of knowing one another. He said he just knew. I was a little less rash in the beginning but I knew I loved him and I couldn’t imagine spending my life without him.
The romance of marriage evolves as it goes on.
Over time, the definition of romance has changed as we have grown and changed. Before children, it meant long weekends together, eating at 5-star restaurants, dancing and laughing until out legs couldn’t support us any longer. Then it meant making our way back to our hotel room through a fog of alcohol and lust and making love until we collapsed in one another’s arms. Those were the days when everything was ahead of us.
Then on one particularly special weekend spent celebrating our fifth wedding anniversary in New Orleans and life took a pleasantly unexpected turn, we were “blessed” with the conception of our first child. Then, weekends away were no more. Date nights went into retirement for 5 long years but it didn’t matter, we were too tired and too broke to go out anyways. To be honest those first few “date nights” and most after that for a couple years, we spent eating take out in our pajamas in quiet and going to bed at a reasonable hour; sometimes sex happened and sometimes it didn’t and we were both okay with that because anyone who has ever been a parent knows that sleep is way more important for everyone involved. It’s not like we’ve forgotten that “sex” is what got us into this predicament in the first damn place.
Not that I’m bitter about parenthood. I love my children, as much as anyone can love children that are awake. They are my favorite children in the world. I can tolerate their whining almost constantly but we’ve come to a point in our lives where we fully recognize, with the help of some sleep, that our children are only a temporary situation. Parenting little kids is not a permanent status, not in the way it is today or yesterday or will be tomorrow. It is ever changing and evolving. It is amazing, terrible and fantastic all at the same time and I wouldn’t change a second of it (not even the colicky ones or the night terrors or the endless nights of sleeplessness). It’s the best thing I will ever do.
These days date nights are still pretty few and far between for the Big Guy and I. Not that we don’t enjoy a night on the town, it’s just that date night for us means kids sleeping over at Grandma’s and that means a whole lot of coordinating of dates and times because Grandma and Grandpa have a life (more than the Big Guy and I apparently). But sometimes, a couple just needs a date night; a minute to remember whom you were before babies. A second to remember why you used to forgo sleep and food just to devour this other person literally and metaphorically; why they were your everything. They are still there and you need to recognize that, out loud, at least occasionally. A little slap on the ass, deep kiss in the middle of the afternoon or a text that says, ” I can’t stop thinking about you sexy!” can go a long way in reminding them that you still find them to be an attractive sexual being, even if it’s buried under spit up and stains and a hangry attitude.
The romance of marriage is about loving someone so much that you can still see them, even when they feel like they have begun to disappear.
So we jumped through all the hoops, signed all the necessary documents and voila, 3 weeks later we got a date night approved and it was glorious. First, he took me to see a horror movie in.the.theater. That never happens. We are all about the Netflix and Chill situation. In return, I chose a restaurant that he had been wanting to try; a microbrewery in an old warehouse. It was by no stretch of the imagination 5-star but it was quaint and it was nice to be there with him. Hell, I was having such a good time sitting at our chalkboard table, sampling my flight of craft beers (totally out of my comfort zone) that I barely even noticed the herd of hipsters with handlebar mustaches playing chutes and ladders or some shit at the next table. Barely but obviously a little bit. Who the hell cannot stare at a handlebar mustache with a man bun and a Member’s Only jacket playing Chutes and Ladders? Seriously.
We ordered off of the very limited (as if it were secret) menu. My choices were a Nutella hotdog or a BLT with Gouda or some other 3 pub specialties. I chose the BLT because I was starving and needed something to fill my empty stomach that was fighting what I found out the next morning to be the flu. The Big Guy chose some sort of beef sandwich. But none of that was important, what was important was that there we were talking, drinking, laughing and being “us” with no one calling us mommy or daddy for miles.
At one particularly romantic moment of the night, I excused myself to the restroom only to return to my seat to find the words “SEXY!” with an arrow pointing to my seat scribbled in chalk on the table. Sounds simple, right? But it made me feel sexy. It made me feel like he saw me, for the first time in a long time. Of course, he soon followed that message up with his own message on his side of the table, directed toward the waitress, “ Check Please. I’m going home to have SEX!” It made me laugh. It made me feel wanted and we left the hipsters to their chutes and ladders. Sure, it was only 10 p.m. but that was really f*cking adorable.
On the way home I told him that I really wanted something sweet. Obviously, the hipster brew worx didn’t serve dessert unless you count the Nutella on the all beef hotdog. I didn’t. So he stopped by a grocery store, ran in, and returned the sexiest man alive with a box of fudge pop tarts and a giant bouquet of wild flowers from an anniversary floral arrangement shop, just because…my favorite kind of flowers in the world. Apparently, I’m cheap and easy.
It wasn’t a five star date night by any stretch of the imagination but it had the same effect and ended the same way, minus the dancing until our legs gave out because since I broke my leg, it doesn’t work like it used to. Of course, leave it to him to make even that sexy because I’ll be damned if he didn’t give that ugly scar a little kiss while he massaged my leg that night, like he’s done for months while I’ve been recovering from this broken leg.
That’s what the romance of marriage is really about, falling in love with the same person over and over again throughout time. Choosing to love them every day.
What is your definition of the romance of marriage?
