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The TRUTH About Motherhood

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  • Be A Better Me ( You) Challenge – Day 21 ~ Listen to your heart

    Yesterday’s Be A Better Me (You) Challenge- Day 20 ~Be nice to someone; Pay it forward
    is one that I plan on getting started on right away. I already let someone cut in front of me in the drop off line at school. They seemed frustrated and in more of a hurry than me so I figured, rather than getting annoyed to just let them go. Hopefully, that small gesture will make their day go a little smoother for them. It was a very small gesture, I know, but it’s got to start somewhere. Hope you are being nice to others today and paying all random acts of kindness forward!

    Today’s Be A  Better Me (You) Challenge- Day 21 ~ Listen to your heart.
    Really listen to what your heart wants. The only true key to happiness is following our hearts desire. Certainly, it is smart to follow your head, but I think total rationality is overrated. How many people do you know that go along or do things because they are supposed to not necessarily because they want to? What kind of quality of life are we having if we always do the right thing..or what is expected? Sometimes you have to be brave and follow your heart, even if it seems crazy. One of the craziest things I ever did was agreeing to marry the Big Guy after only dating for 3 months. My mind told me I was crazy if I said yes and my mind told me that obviously he was crazy for asking. I thought about it long and hard, but my heart kept drowning out the negativity of my brain. Of course I was afraid that it wouldn’t last, that impetuous leap he asked me to take. But my heart kept saying, You are crazy if you don’t take the leap. It could end in embarrassing failure or it could be the biggest and best adventure of your life. It could be your happily ever after. My heart talks a lot, just like the rest of me:) I took the chance and  it was scary for me to make such a rash decision but look at where I am  now; 11 years of marriage, 2 beautiful little girls, and more love than I could possibly have imagined. Listen to your heart, it just may open up all the hidden treasures that your life has to offer.Besides, I think our heart knows what will truly make us happy opposed to our head who only knows what society says will make us happy.

  • Be A Better Me (You) Weekend Challenges-Day 17- 19

    Sorry to those of you who have been following along. The weekend has once again gotten away from me. It’s really hard for me to spend time on the computer when I have my husband home with me. Our time is few and far between , so I have to make it count. Please forgive me. I know that you all understand! But here are the challenges that I issued for the weekend.

    Be A Better Me (You)  Challenge – Day 17 ~ Cook what you want for dinner
    Sounds simple right? I’m not sure about you but I spend a lot of time making what every body else wants, will eat or prefers. My choices usually are not even considered. I mean, I don’t cook food that I hate(I’m not trying to punish myself) but I also don’t ever say “Tonight, I’m going to make exactly what I like!” I can’t because, its not usually what the rest of the family wants. But my challenge for you is a simple exercise in remembering that you count and what you like. Pick a night and cook whatever it is that YOU like. How many times have you made what your husband likes to make dinner special? How many times have you choked down your kids favorites so they’d be happy? Probably always, right? Tonight, make what you want. If you didn’t have to consider picky eaters palettes,what would you eat? Me, well, I love sushi, eggplant and green peppers. All things that are very much unappreciated by the rest of my family. Maybe a little eggplant parm is exactly what this situation calls for in my house. What would be your dream meal?

    Be A Better Me ( You) Challenge- Day 18 ~ Get rid of a bad habit
    We all have something we do that we don’t want to do or is not necessarily good for us.  These things serve as crutches to us. I don’t want crutches anymore. I am tired of being hobbled and want to stand straight on my own two feet.Bad habits are developed over time and serve no good purpose in our lives. The bad habit I have that I’d like to kick to the curb is needing the validation of asking ” Does this make me look fat?” Seriously, how is that question helpful? It means I am obsessing over my looks and expending my energy in a very negative way. It’s also liable to make me a bad Mommy if my girls hear this slip out of my mouth. I don’t want to pass on my weight issues. Why am I asking? If I am or I am not, or it does or does not make me look fat..is irrelevant. Even feeling like I need to ask the question, needing that validation is crippling me from being the best me I can be. If it bothers me then I should just work on it. I am my own worst critic and really no matter what the Big Guy answers, I am never satisfied. I need to stop asking that damn question; more importantly stop needing that validation from others. I need to just work on the problem and fix it rather than questioning myself and others. So,I am going to stop asking “Does this make me look fat?” To do this, I must work to make sure that I know that I am not. If I am not, then it stands to reason that I can not look like what I am not! End the end, ending this habit will be the catalyst to making me be a better me for me.What is your bad habit that’s keeping you down or holding you back?

    Be A Better Me ( You) Challenge- Day 19 ~ Breathe; Relax
    Stop snickering. It’s very simple but sometimes we need to be reminded. Life has a tendency to snowball and overwhelm us. It’s really a miracle what  difference having the forethought to stop, breathe deeply, exhale and relax. My Mom has told me this since I was a child and I never believed or fully understood. Quite frankly I thought she was a little crazy. It seems with having children I am gaining great wisdom and insight into the world around me. For example, one more thing I learned to understand fully, why parents would ever think of sending a teen aged daughter away to boarding school and pay all that money for virtually a baby sitter. Believe me, if these young emotionally charged years are any indication of what may be to come, I may be putting a kidney for sale for some peace and sanity. But lately, I have been trying to breathe. I will admit it has been a last resort, but it was the only way I could come to it. It’s making me a better person because its giving me the control to be in charge of my emotions and not fly of the handle, which, lets face, seldom works and usually just leads to guilt. I just feel like a better person being able to control my reactions to the world and situations that it seems to keep hurling at my head. Breathing make me feel in control and control is what winds my clock people.I can’t imagine how awesome I’d be if I could make myself meditate. Something I may have to make some time for. So, breathe and relax is your challenge. Just try it! I promise, you’ll like it.

    Just a challenge update, my friends, I am sitting here with my hair fixed, and a dress on. I feel pretty cute. A little effort went a long way this morning! Also, I am sitting here in peace and quiet because the Big Guy has taken the girls shopping leaving me with some quiet , alone time. God bless him. And next week, BIG Guy and I have date night for my birthday. I can not wait. So be warned, there will be no posts next weekend! But I will be living the challenge..and the dream! Happy Mothering!

  • Ballerinas behaving Badly

    Today, Bella came out of ballet very upset that one of the little girls in the class was ignoring her.Apparently, there was an incident a couple weeks ago when Bella ( being that she is 5) told the little girl, “You are my best friend” to which the little girl responded, ” NO, I’m not your best friend. So and so is my best friend!”  And another incident previous to that one where Bella brought her friend on bring a friend day and wanted to sit by her, this other little girl sat between them and basically was  friendly to Bella’s friend but excluded Bella. Bella was very upset that day, as well. Friendship has been a big theme lately at our household. I think it has a lot to do with being new to this entire kindergarten situation. It’s like everything revolves around who your friends are…wow, sounds a lot like high school.

    Anyways, I’ve always been a big advocate of the “to have a good friend, you’ve got to be a good friend” mantra.Hell, you’ve all heard me preach it…time and time again. To an extent, I do believe that. Well, I certainly believe it…if they are in fact your friend. Now, it has recently come to light that there seems to be, what I can only classify as “mean girls” in the elementary girl set. I can’t even believe I am saying this because it sounds so freaking ridiculous. But believe me you, I’m finding this all out the hard way. Not so much the boys, but it seems girls learn very early on about this competition amongst one another. I for one am an advocate of sisterhood and that has been what I have been trying to instill with all this To have a good friend, you’ve got to be a good friend  business.

    But what do you do,when your child is heeding your advice and giving and giving some more when the other child is just taking and even worse..rejecting. I want my daughters to give people chances and not judge them by first impressions, but its hard to teach this when my girls are the only ones adhering to these rules. There’s only so many times I can watch my child, all bright eyed and bushy tailed, approach another child only to have the other child ignore or reject my child. I’m not going to lie. It pisses me off. I try to teach my girls to be nice, respectful and giving in their relationships and I am watching it being met with unresponsiveness or insincere responses. I don’t necessarily think that these parents aren’t teaching their kids how to behave appropriately. I just think that I am around a lot more and so by being there, my girls follow the rules and it also gives me the opportunity to see the other children sometimes ( some more than others) behaving badly.

    Today, I had enough. I had enough of Bella getting upset. I had enough of her feeling rejected. I had enough of this other little girl ignoring her hellos and goodbyes. I had enough of this little girls smart ass comments. She actually told my daughter, “I’m better than you because I am older and can dance better!” WTF? She is older. But my daughter is younger…and was placed at the same level. You do the math. This little girl used to be her friend. We moved away. Moved back. And the kid has metamorphosed into a full on raging mean girl. I know, how awful do I sound referring to a 6 year old as a raging anything? I’m sure there is a special place in hell for me…but I’m also pretty sure that kid is going to be there right with me.

    So, I took my little girl’s sweet little tear stained face into my hands and I told her “Forget about her! You don’t need friends like that.” To which Bella responded, “Yeah, because she is mean and stupid and she won’t let the other girls play with me.” Me: ” Bella we don’t call people stupid (even if they are). When you see her if she says hi, say hi back, If she doesn’t, just act like you don’t care!” Am I wrong? I can’t keep telling my little girl to turn the other cheek when every which way she turns, this little girl is metaphorically slapping her in the face…and harder each time. I don’t know what is motivating this behavior.I don’t honestly care. I just refuse to teach my kid to be a doormat to others. Maybe I should teach my girls the 3 strikes you’re out rule? That gives people an ample amount of time to redeem themselves, right? Of course, even under those circumstances this mouthy little girl would still be left in the OUT pile.Happy Mothering! Does this ever get any easier?

  • To A Night we’ll never forget

    I’m sure you all are on pins and needles wondering just how my birthday celebration went, so I’m going to tell you..the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the TRUTH!

    The day started off in a bit of a hectic haze. We were trying to get the house in some kind of order before the grandparents showed up for babysitting duty. God Bless ’em! Without these two beautiful souls, the birthday celebration would not have been even remotely possible.
    After frantic running around like chickens with our heads chopped off, finally we were dressed, packed and ready to hit the road.Bella decided that at the point that I  was walking out the door would be a fabulous time to cue the tears. Nothing like a raging case of Mommy guilt to start the journey off with. I was determined. I had tickets to the 3 pm production of Romeo and Juliet ( I will elaborate on that in an upcoming post) and I had to go. So, I gave the girls one last hug and kiss and left them for the first time ever overnight.

    It was a long night, so I will just post a quick synopsis of the entire night. After the show, we hit the hotel for a quick change into our night in the city outfits. Mine consisted of a black and white dress, 5 inch heels and an application of my nighttime makeup.It really is a miracle what a difference a little bit of time and effort can make in your appearance and your self confidence.

    Photobucket
    This is me and my little sister sometime after dinner and a couple cocktails.


    We had dinner at the fabulous Japonaise downtown. Where we all consumed obscene amounts of sushi, martinis, wine and saki. There was never a lull in the conversation. I was so content sitting in the corner surrounded by some of the people I love the most in the world, my sister and brother in law, my brother in law and his beautiful girlfriend, and my best friend/sister and her amazing husband and last but certainly not least, the love of my life, the Big Guy! As you can see from the picture above, I could not stop smiling all night long. I didn’t even care that I was turning 30 ( for the 8th time). I was in the moment and drinking it all in.

    Dinner was followed by dancing at a Latin themed bar. By this time, we are all feeling pretty good. So good, in fact, that my feet were not even bothering me from wearing the 5 inch hooker heels for 5 hours at that point which I found to be a bit peculiar. I went with it. It felt amazing for 1 night to be looked at like I was a woman having a birthday, not a Mommy taxing children to and fro. Of course, you can take the Mommy out of the house but you can’t take the Mommy out of the woman. This became painfully aware while the girls and I were shaking our asses on the dance floor. There were 2 girls, probably about 21, dancing behind me and they kept bumping into me. At first, I ignored it. Then I couldn’t take it anymore. And what was my reaction? Imagine if you will, me 5’7″ ( without heels on) wearing those 5 inch hooker heels..towering above these girls at a whopping 6 foot tall. They were maybe 5’1″. I swiftly turn around, after being knocked almost off my feet for the 10th time..I bend down, pointing my finger and said, “Hey! You girls have got to stop this. You are going to knock someone down!” They said ,”OK, we’re sorry.” They looked completely shocked and that’s when I realized…I just scolded them on the dance floor. You know, like I would do a 3 and 5 year old. They stopped bumping into me, but they were giggling..probably because they thought I was crazy! Funny how if I would have been their age, I would have turned around and said “Look Bitch, stop bumping into me or I’m going to beat your ass!” Funny how being a mother changes you in the most unexpected ways. That and the fact that I’m pretty sure I would have fallen and killed myself had I gotten into a tussle in those shoes:)LOL

    The night started to wind down, by this point the top of my foot had been hyper-extended due to an inordinate amount of time in the hooker heels ( which I absolutely adore by the way and will wear at any chance possible) but obviously my foot was remembering that I was not 21 anymore. We were down to 4 troopers left. I was savoring every single moment of this night. Then it happened, you know that moment when you lose all of your good senses and you do that one last stupid thing. Well, I decided to cap off the evening, we all needed two last shots; 1 of tequila and a lemon drop. Talk about buyers remorse! So, we toast to my birthday and we head to the dance floor. Almost immediately, I realized the shots may have been too much. I felt discombobulated, people were moving in slow motion. Then the next thing I remember was standing in the rain, barefooted waiting as my brother in law tried desperately to hail a cab at around 2 in the morning.Flash forward, I remember hugging on to the toilet for dear life. Yes, very mature behavior for someone of my age. Right? The next thing I can logically recollect was waking up, feeling like I had eaten a bowl of cotton, and had a splitting headache.

    I decided that I needed to try and get mobile as we had a drive home and checkout was noon. I sucked it up and headed for a shower, after making a pit stop at my best friend the toilet and puking up what can only be classified as pea green bile, I finally got in the shower to wash away the sins of the previous night. I was feeling a little better..refreshed. Then it happened, as I was brushing my teeth…I noticed something looked out of place. Remember in the Hangover when they wake up the next morning and the one guy is missing his tooth? Well, I wasn’t missing a tooth! But I do have a mysterious black eye! After much piecing together of the last hours of the night,the Big Guy and I came to the conclusion that while I was hugging the toilet, I must have began to doze and slipped and hit my head on the toilet rim. Classy, right? Probably explains some of the headache, as well.Thank God its just on the outside rim of my eye, so it looks like I have eye make up on.Imagine trying to explain that one at kindergarten pick up at the catholic school. There you have it, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the unabridged absolutely embarrassing truth. But what a night it was…to a night we’ll never forget! Or is it remember?

    Stu: “Why can’t we remember a godd*** thing from last night?”
    Phil: “Because we obviously had a great f***ing time.”

  • Throat Punch Thursday;Dead Beat Dad & Mommy Dearest Edition

    I realize that there are a lot of assholes in this world. I realize that children can drive you up a flipping wall and make you pull all of your hair out.Believe me. I understand this. But it takes a special kind of crazy bitch and douche bag to go to these lengths. I’m really losing my tolerance for people in general.Put on your big girl panties and deal with it people! Watch the video. Then we’ll talk.

    https://abcnews.go.com/assets/player/walt2.6/flash/SFP_Walt.swf

    I know by now you have all heard about Zahra Baker, the missing 10 year old from Hickory, North Carolina. The case started out as an amber alert after her Father,Adam Baker, and Step Mother, Elisa Baker, reported the little disabled girl missing last Saturday afternoon. They reported that she was last seen sleeping in her bed about 2:30 a.m. Saturday. Really? Would you wait 12 hours to report a 10 year old girl missing? Where the hell did they suppose she had went? Out for cigarettes in her car? Or maybe they thought she had run off and eloped.

    Zahra, a 10 year old survivor of bone cancer who had lost her hearing and had a prosthetic leg, we are suppose to believe disappeared in the middle of the night. Apparently, it mus happen on a regular basis since No one thought to report it.By the way, Zahra has not been found and is assumed dead,  the hearing aids have been found, but not the prosthesis, Hickory Police Chief Tom Adkins has said. Still with me? Does any of this make any logical sense to you so far? ME, neither. I’m not buying it.I’m calling BULLSHIT! I’m also quite irate.

    A search warrant application filed in the case said authorities responded to a call about a burning mulch pile at the family’s home about 5:30 a.m. Saturday.Seriously, who burns mulch before day light?Oh yeah, that’s right..assholes who are trying to hide something and work with wood chippers, maybe burning a little 10 year old girls remains; evidence. 

    Upon arrival, firefighters found a Chevrolet Tahoe with its passenger door open and an envelope with handwriting on it on the front windshield.They notified the police, who approached the SUV and smelled gasoline coming from inside. The note written on the envelope was addressed to a “Mr. Coffey,( Adam Baker’s boss, Mark David Coffey). Hmmm? Sort of suspicious, don’t you think?
    The note said, “Mr. Coffey, you like being in control now who is in control .We have your daughter and your pot smoking red head son is next unless you do what is asked $1,000,000 unmarked will be in touch soon.” In the bottom right, the note said, “no cops,” You know, just as an FYI. Wow! These people maybe have a combined IQ of, I’m guessing, 47? Coffey and his daughter were at the residence at the time of the fire, according to the warrant.

    Adam Baker called police about 2 p.m., saying someone had poured gas in his car and left a note saying they had his boss’ daughter. Baker told police he believed the person who left the note had kidnapped Zahra. The Bakers consented to a search of their home. A cadaver dog indicated the possible presence of human remains in or on the Chevrolet Tahoe as well as a burgundy Toyota Camry on the property. Authorities were testing swabs taken from the Tahoe to determine if blood was also present. So, let’s think..what do we really think happened?

    Since then, it has come to light that Elisa Baker, who was already in custody on unrelated charges, admitted to police that she wrote the ransom note that was left on the car Saturday, the day Zahra was reported missing. Police are charging Elisa Baker with felony obstruction of justice.Relatives and friends of the family have alleged that Elisa Baker physically abused Zahra and said she was reported to state social services officials.The North Carolina Department of Health and Human Services has declined comment on the case. It has also come to light that no one outside of Adam and Elisa have had a visual on Zahra in almost a month.What the FUCK? Seriously,there are so many idiots involved in this case that I am wondering who should get the Throat Punch. The list would probably be smaller of who doesn’t deserve it.

    This case disturbs me to my core. Want my two cents?Probably not but you’re going to get it anyways. I think that the crazy bitch Step Mother and piece of shit Father, know what happened to this little girl.Maybe it got a little too hard to take care of the little girl. Maybe they were just lazy white trash, who shared a brain. All I know, beyond speculation, is the little girl is gone and the Step mom admitted to writing the ransom note. Does this not remind you of Jon Benet Ramsey? Reminiscent of Caylee Anthony? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there needs to be a license and IQ requirement to have children. I know it’s hard sometimes, but kids are not merchandise from the local Target, you can’t take them home, try them on and return them.They are NOT goldfish, just because you are tired of taking care of them, feeding them, paying their medical bills, what have you..you can NOT drown them, flush them, hang them, stab them, bury them in cement or throw them in the river or a wood chipper. There was more than one person responsible for the death of this little girl; the school who never reported her missing, the step Mom and dad who probably are literally responsible, DCFS who never followed up,the relatives who just didn’t think it was important enough to do something, and where the hell is Zahra’s birth mother? Did this bitch just give her a jacked up name, find out she was sick and abandon her to her fate? It takes a village people! And Zahra’s whole freaking village needs to be pistol whipped and thrown into the wood chipper! Throat Punches are too good for these people. I hope enough evidence is gathered to put these people in prison for the rest of their lives.Maybe there they can get the punishment they deserve from their inmates!

    For the complete story please go here.

    P.S. My faith in humanity has hit an all time low with this case.

  • Oh my Mommy heart.

    Yesterday was Sunday.Sunday’s are bittersweet around here. They are simultaneously filled with big breakfasts, mass, lazy days of Halloween decorating, cuddling, mostly just being together. Unfortunately, for us, it is also always filled with certain goodbyes and impending sadness.
    As most of you know, the Big Guy has been working out of state a lot of the time. This leaves me an overworked, stressed, spread much to thin Mommy.The girls are hyper emotional, dealing with some issues of abandonment, missing their Daddy, and testing my boundaries. The Big Guy is working his ass off,lonely and missing his family.It’s a pretty raw deal all the way around but we make the sacrifice, well, because we have to. It’s not ideal but it’s what needs to be done..right now.

    The good great fantastic news blessing is that he has finally gotten a permanent position with a great company. Which means soon we will all be in the same zip code.Obviously, that is AWESOME! But in the interim, until spring when we can put the house on the market, after the Nutcracker has been performed, after kindergarten graduation, we have to live for our weekends together because its all we have. We spend our days marking time until the next time we can all be together. It’s quite pathetic all the way around. Don’t get me wrong, we have been doing this for about 8 months and we have established a groove. About once about every 3 months, I have a major emotional breakdown. You know, things get too overwhelming and I just can’t go on any longer alone. I make it to the weekend and then he says something like, “I need you to move with me now …so you can work and I can watch the kids at night.” Normally, that would be no big deal but for some reason under these circumstances they instigated a complete breakdown. First, I felt insulted that he didn’t think I was working, then there was the whole he only wants us with him so that I can work, then I was broken by the fact that I am missing him terribly..in my heart, in my arms, in my bed and he is missing…my revenue? Then he told me, that he has been telling me for weeks that he misses us and wants us to be together. I’ve been stuck on autopilot trying to survive this situation. I am trying to do what is best for the girls, for our family…not what is necessarily good for me. Of course being together would be better for me. I could share the parenting, share the load, share my life but in my mind it’s not a feasible option, so why entertain it? But he said that he felt that him missing us was not enough of a catalyst for me, so he figured since I am so concerned with our finances that he would coerce me to relocate early by threatening financial ruin.

    Of course, I had a good long cry on a Sunday morning. You know of the cathartic, sobbing, hyperventilating, can’t breathe, very ugly, body shaking variety and all he could do was hold me. But it was nice to have him here to hold me. We both regrouped and moved on. We went shopping, had lunch, blanketed the neighborhood as a family taking our Bella to sell her candy bars for school, visiting with all the neighbors, Then we came home and put up our giant blow up witch in the yard  and pretended to be like every other family on the block. But it was still Sunday. There is no denying when its ourSundays, the sadness is palpable and becomes almost smothering around 5:30 pm. We can pretend we are normal until then.

    The Big Guy has been trying to stick around until after the girls are asleep, to help me out with bedtime /Missing Daddy meltdowns.God bless him. Of course, last night Bella went right to sleep after only a brief tantrum. But Gabs, oh my Gabs, she was nodding off in my lap as the Big Guy kissed us goodbye. We were both a little emotional because we have had to say more goodbyes in the last 8 months than most married couples do in a lifetime together. Right as he walked out the door, Gabs lifted her head and did a demonstration of my breakdown that morning.Wailing  and screaming. ” Me miss my Daddy! Me want my Daddy!” After about 30 minutes,I finally calmed her down. Of course, we had 3 repeat performances last night..each time she stirred from her slumber. I tried to soothe her each time, but when a baby wants Daddy..a Mommy is a poor substitute. I just kept feeling that horrible lump in my throat( that I know so well) and a pain in my heart…my poor breaking Mommy heart!

  • The No Good, very bad , terribly horrible Monday

    I’ve never been a big believer in the whole I hate Monday’s credo. Alas, I have been made into a believer. I am actually usually pretty damn upbeat, if I do say so myself. But every once in awhile I get a really crappy day, in my normally pretty great existence. Today was that day, for a plethora of reasons. If you are not a fan of whiny, bitching and all around venting of a craptastic day…then please walk away. Hell run! I’ve got to vent. Today, there was no enjoying the small things. Today, it was all about how much crap can be dumped on me in one day.

    It all started last night ( yeah, Monday got a jump on me this week), this weekend we had to meet the Big Guy for a wedding. This resulted in us having to leave him, instead of the usual  him leaving us on the stoop. This totally sucked. After a great weekend of family togetherness, it really did make leaving each other that much more difficult. Before I pulled away, Bella started crying, “I don’t want to leave Daddy” then as the Big Guy was kissing Gabs goodbye, she had a meltdown and started blubbering “I don’t want to leave Daddy” Of course, Daddy is crying, then I am crying. I had to pull away. I could hardly see to drive through the tears. It was awful, the girls and I driving down the road looking like red spotted leopards from all the crying. Bedtime was  a nightmare because my exhausted, sad children were so upset when we got home. Add to that the fact that Bella had a slight fever.

    This morning, Bella was still running a fever along with a runny nose and cough so I kept her home from school ( just what we need..to all be sick). I let the girls sleep in until they woke sometime around 8:30. Then I set out to clean the house. Why is it when you travel the house seems look like it was hit by a tornado while you were gone. Who knows? Maybe my house was actually ransacked, since I was made aware when I returned home on Sunday night that I had left the sliding door..UNLOCKED the entire weekend while I was away! Yeah, that warranted a nice thorough check of the house..just in case some crazy was hiding around some corner. Awesome. Just what I needed with all the kid drama! Anyways, so today while the kids are home and I am cleaning. I was painfully aware that I had two things on my to do list that I was totally dreading 1) fighting with the cell phone company to see what it is going to cost to break a contract since my husband is now in an area where his phone is rendered useless due to their poor service ( NOPE, we can’t hear you now!!!) 2) I have to go over the finances to see what I can afford in the way of a car payment since my SUV decided to take a complete crap this past weekend!Yes, when it rains it pours!

    Needless to say the tornado disaster had hit every single room in the house and so it took almost the entire day to clean it to presentable. The kids were following behind me, dragging out dress up dresses and every single toy they could get their little hands on and pulling it to the living room. It was like fighting a losing battle. I never actually got to do my bills or call the cell phone company but the one time I did try to access the computer, I was lucky enough to upload my photos from the wedding we had attended over the weekend. You know the wedding where the girls danced with their Daddy and grandparents. The wedding where we, as a group, karaoked Friends in Low Places. The wedding that we had so much fun at on Saturday night, who knew could bring so much sorrow to my life on Monday morning. As the photos were downloading, I caught glimpse of the ones of us doing the karaoke. It was that time of night where the 5 inch hooker heels had come off, the hair looked like I had been partying a little too hard,the girls were trying to escape from my dress, my face looked a little ” dewy” from all the dancing and consumption of beverages, but the best part was that I looked about 11 months pregnant. Thank God I was holding a drink or someone might have asked me if I was pregnant…in which case I would have died of mortification! So the moral of the story is MONDAYS suck and never trust a dress that has any type of lycra/jersey mixture unless you are a waif or you will feel the shame of it the moment upon which you first set your eyes on any photos of the said offense. The no good, very bad, terribly horrible thing of it all is that for every picture I took at the wedding, the photographer took 5. So, for my mere 15 shots of me looking 13 months pregnant and drinking a cranberry and vodka, the photographer probably has a minimum of 75..and video! Yikes!!! Now, I must go, for I have a workout that needs to be done. This 17 month pregnant belly is not going to work itself off!Here’s hoping Tuesday is better!

  • Mommy Truisms:The Dangerous games Mommies play edition

    It’s time for a few more of my Mommy truisms.Growing sisterhood through motherhood, one truism at a time! Enjoy.

    • Being a new parent is like high school,everything is life or death and you are certain that each wrong decision will ruin the rest of your life.But in the end, you grow through it, survive it, and become a better version of yourself.
    • Conjugalorium:another word for a co-sleepers unused bedroom.Go ahead, you paid for it.Someone should be using that extra bed.
    • Sometimes kids will get completely naked to use the bathroom.Don’t ask why.You will not receive a coherent explanation.Save yourself the brain hurt.
    • Having children is like walking around the world with an open wound.
    • 8 out of 10 parents co sleep with their children at some point in their childhood; 2 out of 10 admit it!
    • Bending down, using your stern voice and scolding an adult who has wronged you is perfectly acceptable behavior from a mother.

    • When your 3 year old screams incessantly “Me hate you!”, as much as you’d like to say,”Oh yeah, you are NOT my favorite person right now either” hold your tongue.They will hear you.They will remember it and you will pay for your slip for the rest of your life!

    • Cherish your spouse; they are your forever, children are just a temporary horror show.

    • Hiding in the bushes in the dark, in a dark hallway or under the basement stairs and jumping out to scare your kids is perfectly acceptable at Halloween, but only if you have first made sure they are not inflicted with long QT syndrome.
    • Not allowing your child to go on a field trip with 47 children, 2 teachers and NO chaperones is not only a good idea, its pretty much required for safety.

    • Handing children sippy cups, goldfish or cheerios, stopping skirmishes, searching for dropped crayons, holding ice cream cones, changing Barbies & babies, and changing a DVD, lowering or raising the volume, hitting play or wiping clean are all activities that you do in the car that are MORE dangerous to the safety of your children than using your cell phone.

    • Sometimes a spontaneous dance party is exactly what is needed to save the day!

    • There is no such thing as loving on your child too much.Go ahead.Try.I dare you.It can’t be done. Children deserve all the love that you can possibly give to them.

    • Knowing the previous information, NEVER withhold your love from your child as a punishment.If you do, you are the mental defect and should be judged accordingly.

    • Parenthood is an endless succession of minutia, but pay attention, within the minutia is hidden the most spectacular miracles.
    Happy Mothering and come back for tonight’s Throat Punch Thursday post.
  • Mommy Sex and the Man Cold a Tale as Old as Time

    Mommy Sex and the Man Cold a Tale as Old as Time

    Mommy sex and the man cold don’t mix. If you thought pregnancy and crabs was the worst things you could catch from unprotected sex, you’ve never caught the man cold. And when I say protected, I’m not just talking about wearing a condom, I’m talking about sporting some sexy hazmat suit from head to toe. I learned the hard way that mommy sex and the man cold are a bad combination.

    I woke up this morning feeling like I had been run over, backed up and run over again by a mac truck full of cattle. That’s almost how bad I felt, but actually…I feel worse than that. I blame myself, really. Apparently, there are no “poor girls not gotten laid in awhile” pass clause when it comes to your husband being sick. Girl, if you back that truck up and let him cough on you…hey, sex at your own risk; proceed with caution.

    See, normally I’m all, “Don’t kiss me on the mouth” all hooker style when he’s sick. But being with the way things are lately ( the whole living situation, limited time together) once we hit the conjagulorium all bets were off. In the heat of the moment, I didn’t care where he kissed me I was more focused on the fact that he was home to kiss me at all. Desperate times, desperate measures.

    Now, I’m sneezing so much that I’ve already had to change my panties twice this morning and its only 1 pm. I’m coughing non-stop. My throat hurts like I swallowed razor blades and then took a shot of Drano and my voice is crackling. I have a runny nose that keeps producing the most unladylike green substance that I have ever seen in the entire of my whole life.

    That’s not even mentioning my chapped red nose, my chapped lips, my deafness and lack of smell. Plus I pretty much feel like I am walking around in a big giant bubble of sickness.

    Guess what? A 3 and 5-year-old, don’t care. They don’t give even one fuck that I caught daddy’s man cold. One’s yelling at me because I won’t take them to Healthworks science museum, the other one is pissed off because she wants me to bring up her winter clothes from the basement and all I really want to do is curl up and try not to die. Why won’t these tiny people let me be sick in peace?

    So, you can just imagine what happened when I saw the dirty dishes in the sink this morning. You know, the dirty dishes that I asked the Big Guy to do before he left back out of town. I believe my exact words were,

    “Please do the dishes before you leave. I’ve done them for three months straight and I think I might blow my head off if I have to do them again!”

    Really, does he want me to blow my head off?  Because sure as I am standing here with a red nose and a pocket full of green riddled used Kleenex, he left those damn dishes for ME! It wasn’t too big of a deal until I was on my way to pick up Bella from school and realized on top of everything else…I have to NOW do those damn dishes.

    I texted him.Something to the effect,  “I am dying over here. Are you fucking kidding me!!!!Thanks a LOT!!!”

    His response….”I shouldn’t have taken that nap you FORCED me to take” ( yeah, he was sick so I was being nice but it wasn’t like I put a gun to his head and FORCED him into bed).

    Next, as if he wanted me to murder him, he said: “Leave them until next weekend. I’ll do them then!”

    Really, seriously, as if I am going to leave dirty nasty dishes in the sink until the weekend. I’m NOT and I’m pretty sure he knows that.

    But I am really sick and don’t feel like doing the dishes. In fact, it’s probably the last thing that I want to do right now. I may, however, throw them all in the garbage.

    Anybody else have these kinds of days? Just me then? So, to recap, thanks honey for the literal kiss of death you shared with me and the dirty dishes that you left me, as well. Anything else that you want to give me? Maybe a hefty case of gonorrhea? lice? The Bubonic plague? Dysentery? 5 loads of laundry? Throw up in the bathrooms? See you this weekend, the dishes may or may not be waiting too.I guess it depends whether or not they sprout legs and walk away on their own.

  • Be A Better Parent Challenge- Day 21-23

    Friday’s Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 20 – Keep a journal
    I’d love to say I did a fabulous job but that would be a total lie. I had visitors from out of town and it was impossible to find time to post , little lone journal. I am however going to give it a try this week. I’ll keep you posted. How did you ladies do?

    Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 21 – Fake it

    Try curtailing your “anger” (which The New Girl determined was more of an impulse control issue rather than anger) by actually faking it. Rolling your eyes, moving along, and pretending.
    You’ll see in the comments that she’s not at all saying that you should fake how you’re feeling. Big difference. So that’s not what I’m talking about at all.

    But in many cases, we often let ourselves blow up quickly when really, if we just rolled our eyes and looked at the bigger picture, we’d have way fewer massive blow-ups.Basically,we need to fake our reaction. Feel your feelings but fake control:)

    Let me know how that works out for you. I know I will have to work hard on this one. I have a quick temper and I have to work hard to step back and think. I am interested to see how this works out.

    Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 22 – Dates with your kids

    Whether you’ve got one kid or a bunch, it’s really important to spend individual time with them. It’s obviously a little easier when you have just one, and then, increasingly more challenging the more you add to your brood.God knows I spend most days feeling like one is being left out. It was so much easier for me when I only had one. I adore both, but its hard work making sure everybody gets the same attention and no one feels left out or slighted. Lucky for me, they have no issue with letting me know!

    So #22: Plan a date night with your kids
    Granted, it doesn’t need to be a night, obviously, and it certainly doesn’t need to be anything extravagant. In fact, it could be something that you always do together, month after month. Breakfast out? Trip to a special playground? An afternoon at a museum? This is difficult for us Mommies who are part time single Mothers or those who are actual full time single mothers but it is possible. It’s hard for me to give them each individual personal time because they are so close in age and I can’t justify leaving one out. I am planning on making the time while my 5 year old is on school, special time for my 3 year old and I. I will do the same for my 5 year old, while the 3 year old naps. It’s the best Ic an do.

    There are so many fantastic ways for you to connect individually with your kiddos, especially outside of your home, which always seems to be bogged down with 400 things that you need to do other than spend alone time with them. But if you can look past the laundry and the ignore the dishes, quality time can easily be spent int he comfort of your own home.Let me know what ideas you have fro “Date Night” with your kids. How did it go?
    And how did faking it go? 

    Be a Better Parent Challenge – Day 23 – Give ’em choices

    Only a little over a week left, folks. I hope you’re still with me.I hope that you are feeling like you’re getting something out of this. I am loving the challenges and feel like I am being proactive in my parenting.
    I also have noticed by utilizing these techniques I have eliminated a lot of the regular tantrums and meltdowns that we were having, which is AWESOME!!!

    And I do hope you found some ideas for date “nights” with your kids. I realize that those are a little hard to do impromptu, but you can certainly plan ahead.

    #23: Give ’em choices
    Giving your kids choices is a fantastic way to get them to do what you want without a battle (ha) but also to allow them some control, which is super important – particularly for the younger set (i.e. 2-5ish). The key here is to only give them TWO. Yes, and only choices that you actually want to abide by, Don’t make offers that you have no intention of keeping. This is how I have always done choices and it seems to work pretty well. It creates a sense of autonomy without letting them get out of  your realm of control.

    Forget “What do you want for lunch?” questions and give them options. Just two.
    Or when it comes to getting out of the house “You can put your shoes on and come with us, or leave them off and stay here.”This is one of my favorites, Basically, look kiddo you can do as I say and get to go do something fun or we can just stay here. My girls chomp at the bit to get out of the house ( they have their Mama’s cabin fever gene) so usually it goes as I plan. Of course, if you are dealing with a overtired  or sick child, expect the unexpected sometimes they go rogue and  you find yourself punished and unable to leave the house:(

    My favorite: “You can pick up your clothes off the floor or I can pick them up and take them all to Goodwill.” Desperate times, mamas.Desperate measures. This works with my girls because they are clothes fanatics. But you get the picture….”Pick up the Barbie dolls or I will pick them up and give then to the homeless!” See, its easy..just be sure to follow through or you will lose all control….forever!

    Anyway, you get the idea. Now go give it a try. Let me know how it goes!

    Just a reminder, the Month of September, I will be doing a month long Be a Better Me (You) Challenge in celebration of my Birthday! Hope you can all join me. There’s more to us than just being a Mommy, so next month we will give some attention to that woman:) Also, I am trying to reach a goal of 1000 followers by my birthday September 25, so if you are not already following please do.If you already are please pass it on to your friends who you think might like it, tweet it, Facebook it. Only 432 more followers needed:)Happy Mothering!

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