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The TRUTH About Motherhood

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  • A journey of 1000 Miles starts with a Single Step; The First Day of the Rest of My Life

    Well, after last weeks posts,most of you are aware that I have had some  issues with my weight. Or should I say that I have struggled with my weight since I was old enough to realize what weight and body image were.I wasn’t necessarily heavy the entire time but you remember how when you were a teenager, absolutely everything was life or death, well for me the entire focus was on my body. I had thin athletic parents and all my friends were stereo typical cheerleader types in high school.So, that made being average sized feel like I was morbidly obese, though I was not.

    Then I went away to college and I was so deathly afraid of gaining the “freshman 15” that I literally started starving myself to death. Since then, its been a string of me trying to find a way to keep my body at a weight that was healthy without starving to death or restricting myself.It’s a hard balance to find.I’ve lost and I’ve gained, like most women in America. ..the world, really. You start having children and before you know it, you’ve put on a few extra pounds here, then a few more there and soon you are looking in the mirror and wondering who the hell this person staring back at you is in the mirror. Being a Mommy, I am guilty of always putting my girls first. I try to find time for me but it is truly few and far between, especially now with the Big Guy gone so much for work. A couple months ago, I decided it was time to find my way back to “me” in Mommy. I really made a concerted effort to find some me time, exercise, make myself look presentable, date nights and some of it has stuck and some has not.One of the first things I noticed  to go, as I sit here typing in my yoga pants and sweatshirt, was the taking time to get ready in the morning.Don’t get me wrong, the reminder has eliminated the yoga pants and ponytails appearance every day. But I realized as I don’t feel good in my own skin; my body isn’t where I want it to be, it has become harder to feel presentable..even in a nice dress and a hot pair of heels.

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    This was in September this year on my Birthday.This is what I look like today as I start this journey!

    So, I have resolved that I need to lose some weight, for me. Not for my husband or society but for me.I was joking and told my husband that I was going to call this journey my journey from hot mess to hot mommy but that’s not true. I am  NOT a hot mess. I’ve pretty much got it together,with the exception of my weight. I’m simply a woman on a journey to feel comfortable in my own skin. Lucky for me, I have been given an amazing opportunity to be a part of the Nutrisystem Nation blogging program. They have agreed to help me on my journey by providing me with the tools and convenience to reach my goal this time, in a healthy way. No, I’m not making a big reveal of my starting weight..I’m honest, not crazy, but my weight is the one thing I keep private. This is a very big deal to go public with my weight loss journey because it is the one part of my life that is usually off limits. But I trust you, you’re my friends. You’ll be supportive and that’s what I am counting on. You are my accountability.I will keep you posted once a week on my progress.

    You, my friends, have been with me through the metaphorical thick and thin of my life over the past year, now I need your support in the the physical thick and thin of my life. I’m starting this journey today…right now. My plan is to combine a lot of Nutrisystem with a good amount of Zumba and a brand new perspective. I want to feel at home in my own body, not like I am visiting a strange planet. I want to be healthy,I want to be a good example for my girls.I want to be able to keep up with my 3 and 5 year old. I want to not be mortified to get in a bathing suit for swim lessons.I want to believe my husband when he tells me that I am sexy.I want the mirror to reflect someone I recognize.I want to be around for a long time to see my children grow up and have my grandchildren. I want to be comfortable in my own skin!

    DISCLOSURE: Nutrisystem is providing their  program to me free of charge in exchange for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogging Program and weekly updates. I am not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed in this post are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255

  • Friday Morning Happiness

    It’s Friday and I just don’t feel like Fawk You’s. I’m having a happy Friday and so I want to take a moment to bask in the great things happening to me, right now:) (As evidence I don’t always..just bitch:)LOL

    She’s wearing the crazy cowgirl hat because it was CRAZY hat day @ school.Halloween party was yesterday.

    My Bella lost her first tooth last night in the middle of the night. I was awaken by a little face pressed to mine, whispering,”Mommy, my tooth fell out!Yippee!” She is so excited, she says it makes her a “real” kindergartner!I’m a little sad about it but I am really happy that she is so excited.Now, to figure out what the tooth fairy will be leaving and I gotta get on that tooth fairy pillow!STAT!

    I know I am biased but this kid rocks my socks off!

    An unsuspecting moment of joy appeared this morning, on the way back from kindergarten drop off, Bruno Mars’ Just the way you are came on the radio and it is one of my favorites because of what it represents. I sing it to my girls all the time. This morning, from the back seat I hear a little voice lifting up.I peak in my rear view and there is my 3 year old singing it at the top of her lungs and my heart swooned.Girl you’re amazing..just the way you are!!

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    Next, I am ecstatic for my Big Guy to come home! I look forward to Fridays like most people look forward to Christmas and so do my girls. The Big Guy is a wonderful father and husband. He is a very hands on parent and if I need a nap or a couple hours to myself, he knows before I even  need to ask and tells me to go do it. He really does complete me.I absolutely love me some Big Guy!

    We are also really ecstatic about the fact that my wonderful brother in law has popped the question to his gorgeous girlfriend.We couldn’t be happier.I can’t wait to have another sister and my girls are over the moon to have “the Great” be their auntie! We love you both and we are wishing you a long life of happiness together!

    J.dot.A.dot, this song is for you…We’re so happy that You found her!

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    Next, I want to wish a very happiest of birthdays to my baby sister, Bekiluki (her Papi appointed nickname  from our childhood.We all have them:). Girl, this is going to be the year big things happen for you. I feel it in my bones. Remember, Monday, November 1st is the first day of the rest of our lives.We pinky promised!I’ll be right there to hold your hand little sister, always! You can do anything you want to in this life.You deserve happiness! Go get your happiness!! Love you!

    Bertie this is for you.Listen to the lyrics and know that  you are amazing and I am always here for you,little sister.There is a light in your eyes….

     [youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-9D8Jo-bj4?fs=1]

     Last but not least, Happy Friday, everyone! This song makes me happy spontaneously,hope it can brighten yours, as well.

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     Happy Halloween from the Truthful Mommy household!

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  • The Ornament

    This Christmas morning was a little different than our previous Christmases have been. The entire year has been a little “different”, since the Big Guy has been working away from home. It’s been a difficult transition to go from having a very hands on partner/father to one who is no longer here on a daily basis. Due to all this upheaval and unpredictability of the past few months, I felt like the holidays crept up on me and knocked me over the head with a boulder. Nothing has felt right with the Big Guy gone. This situation has caused finances to be off because of maintaining separate residences, I didn’t have the time I normally would have had to go shopping and what not because I had no one here to watch the girls, the ebb and flow of our very existence has been out of whack this past year. So, it was no surprise that this Christmas morning, things felt peculiar.

    I woke up and I knew I wasn’t going to be opening any gifts,that was no big deal, I had accepted that fact. Normally, I have an abundance of gifts to open. But that’s OK. Don’t feel sorry for me. The Big Guy bought me a really spectacular diamond band that I’ve been wanting ( last month) and my Mom bought me my BlogHer ticket, so believe me I didn’t need anything to open. And, to be completely honest,  having the Big Guy home for 2 weeks consecutively is the most precious gift  that I could ever have asked for or wanted.If you could see the excitement in the girls eyes knowing that when they wake up in the morning, their Daddy would be there.You’d know, I want for nothing. If you could know the peace it brings my heart to have the Big Guy within arms reach, you would realize that the gift of his presence was priceless to all of us.

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    After the girls opened all of their gifts, and the Big Guy had opened the gifts that the girls had picked out for him, there was 1 little gift that we had all forgotten about. That is all of us,with the exception of Bella, had forgotten about. Bella makes a leap under the tree and says in her most sheepish little big girl voice,”Mommy, you forgot about YOUR gift!” I was stumped because I knew, for a fact, the Big Guy was told not to buy me anything (living apart strains the finances). Bella produced the sweetest, plain white bakery bag with a homemade card on it. I had forgotten about the “gift” she had made for me on the last day of school before the break. The gift that had been sitting under the tree for a week and I had been given strict orders could not be opened until Christmas morning. Bella:”Open it,Mommy”as she placed it into my hands. I followed her instructions, as I opened that simple white bakery bag and inside was the most beautiful ( to me) handmade ornament that I have ever laid my gaze upon. At that moment, sitting in front of the Christmas tree with my girls and the Big Guy next to me, I realized that I had the most amazing gift in the world..I had a all the love my heart could hold and then I cried. I wept for the happiness of being blessed with so much love and I wept with sadness knowing that we’ve lost almost an entire year together.After all was said and done, that sweet little angel ornament in the plain white bakery bag is the most meaningful gift I have ever received. Thank you Bella and Gabi for coming into my world and putting things into perspective!!Mommy loves you!

    What’s the most meaningful gift that you’ve received?

  • The Lump in My Heart Runneth Over

    I fully realize this picture is fuzzy but there is something ethereal about & it is very reminiscent of how the weekend felt.

    The house lights went down & I was overcome with emotion.I sat there, my 3 year old to my right and her father on the other side of her.We held our breaths.Tchaikovsky started to swell from the orchestra pit and my heart began to swell with pride, as my eyes swelled with tears in anticipation of my little girl’s debut performance on the stage as a ballerina.

    We know the story of the Nutcracker well.We’ve been reading it to Bella since she was 3, the year that she started taking ballet.It is a big part of our holiday tradition.This year was different, this year it wasn’t just about sitting in the audience and basking in the holiday spirit .This year was momentous.This year, the Nutcracker was one of my Bella’s milestones; like first steps, first words, first day of school. Like so many before it and so many that are yet to come, it is that moment that parents find themselves reluctantly and pridefully letting go…just a little, just enough to give you a great big lump in your heart.

    So, there I sat with my great big giant lump in my heart, trying to hold it together.Waiting, hoping, not breathing in anticipation of the end of the first act;the moment that my little snowflake would enter stage left. Then it happened, there she was with her white leotard and tutu, wrapped in the glow of the stage light, floating gracefully above the floor like a vision in tulle loveliness. I realize that everyone else was focusing their attentions on the “big” snowflakes ( the more seasoned ballerinas) but my every attention was devoted solely to my little snowflake.Every plies, leap, pirouette that she did, I watched her face to see that she was enjoying every moment of it.After all, isn’t that what we live for..those moments of sheer happiness in our child’s face. The 5 minutes that she was on stage felt like a lifetime, as I sat there holding my breath and trying to suppress the lump in my heart. Then, it was over. Four months of rehearsals, weeks of anticipation, countless dollars and a few moments of graceful beauty under falling snow; priceless!

    We met her backstage with roses, gifts, and enough praise to last her a lifetime but no words could amply convey the pride I felt in my heart. Family and friends came from all over to see our little girl take the stage.I just tried not to cry…too much.I held it together pretty well until the ride home from the theater and then the lump in my heart gave way and burst, overflowing and escaping through my eyes. There I sat, silently, ugly crying feeling the pride and momentum of what had just transpired.The Big Guy sat next to me, pretending not to notice how swept away I was by this occasion. He’s learned after 13 years to just be, any interaction or conversation can induce hysterics;hyperventilating, noisy, body shaking ugly crying.

    It was a moment she will never forget and neither will the Big Guy and I. It was the first moment our little girl became a real ballerina. It is emblazoned in my mind like the image on my digital camera with the waltz of the snowflakes accompanying it on a never ending loop. What is a moment of overwhelming pride that you have felt for your child? How did you handle the lump in your heart?

  • Resolving to Incite a Revolution

    Resolving to Incite a Revolution

    Resolving to incite a revolution ~I am way past the point of making resolutions.After all, what the hell is a resolution anyways, nothing more than an empty promise, a flimsy threat at the most.Nope this year, I am declaring war. I’m inciting a revolution.I am resigning myself to a little shock and awe!


    *No MORE Cheating! You heard me. I don’t mean that I’m cheating on the Big Guy, never! I mean cheating on diets, cheating myself out of life, cheating myself short on opportunities, cheating my girls out of my complete attention and devotion.


    *Embracing Exhaustion! Oh yeah, I am about to make it my mission to exhaust every single iota of potential that these bones have in them. No more sitting on the sidelines letting life happen to me or waiting for things to be done for me, this broad is grabbing life by the balls and making him my bitch. I am going to work this potential so hard, its not going to know which way is up. As the old cheer goes, “Be aggressive..B*EE* EE Agressive!” I’m about to be the change I want to see in my world!

    Resolving to incite a revolution

    *Organization, Organization, Location! I am a planner, a scheduler, a write it down on paper and DOER! Life seems to have gotten out of control.I don’t mean a little bit off kilter, I mean it has spun right the hell off its axis.Well, NO MORE! Hey, life! Guess what? I AM IN CHARGE..NOT YOU! So, I’m putting pen to paper ( yes, I’m old school like that sometimes) and I’m making a schedule. I’m waking up earlier, getting more sleep, not rushing through life because I’ve planned accordingly, and ( because I am still a bit reckless) I’m even allowing copious amounts of free time for spontaneity.


    *Love Hard, Love often! I am making sure that the Big Guy and the girls know how much I love them and how important they are to me. I’m not referring to telling them, speaking the words. I do this already, several times a day. In fact, I’ve told the girls ( constantly) since birth “Guess what? I have a secret.Want to know what it is?” They used to get all excited, their eyes like saucers and ask”Yes, Mommy. What is it?”  My answer, I’d bend down and whisper in their tiny ear ,” I Love you more than anything.” Now, they just give me a sheepish smile and say, “What is it Mommy? Tell me!” But more than saying the words, I want to show them with my thoughts and actions.I want to be present in every moment with these family and friends that I have been blessed to be surrounded by in my life. I want them to know in their heart that when I say “I love you” it means..forever, for always, for good, for bad, for ups, for downs, for skinny, for fat, for Always. When they speak, I want them to know I am listening and that what they say matters to me. No more decorum.I am loving on my littles, the Big Guy, my family and friends with an embarrassing amount of exuberance. I want them to feel it to their core…I love them.

     

    Resolving to incite a revolution

    *Prioritize, Perspective, and Present The only way to get it all done, in conjunction with my handy schedule, I have to prioritize what’s really important to me and my family. This depends on my perspective. I am choosing to utilize my own perspective ..finally. I am not considering all the outside factors, aside from my girls. I’m also willfully choosing to see life as ALWAYS half full and at my dispense because, in reality, it is. My only limitations have been those I’ve set upon myself. No more! Last but not least, I’m living in the moment. I’m embracing every stinking moment as it happens. I’m not planning for next year, next week, tomorrow…I’m living in the now..RIGHT NOW,with my girls and the Big Guy. I want to enjoy the small things of my life as they happen, not in 20 years in retrospect as a memory. I want to feel the full effect of my life.



    *Forgiveness I am forgiving myself for not being perfect. I am not the perfect wife. I am not the perfect Mom. I am not the perfect friend or daughter.I don’t have the perfect body. I don’t have the perfect house. My temper leaves something to be desired. I over extend myself. I expect too much from myself and others. I fall short, in a lot of ways. But that doesn’t mean that my efforts do not have merit. I am hitting reset for everyone I know. I’m passing out forgiveness like kool aid at a Jonestown party. NO more Mommy guilt, no more fatty McFatty guilt, no more I’m not the perfect wife.My house is disheveled. My kids aren’t perfect.No more, I wish I was Bree Van De Kamp bullshit. From this moment forward, I am going to try my best at every endeavor that I choose to undertake with my priority being excelling at being a good example of a the kind of woman I want my daughters to see me as. I will never be perfect, and that is perfectly acceptable, as long as I am living my life as the best me.


    *Incite a Revolution I’m initiating a change in my way of life. I am actively taking steps to become the person that I want to be.That woman who lives inside of me and has been too afraid for a long time to take a gamble.The woman who, even though I hate to admit this, I have realized has been so afraid of failure that I have let it stave off success. No More! No more excuses. I’m not afraid of failure anymore.If I fall, I will just pick myself up and try, try again!But today, I am inciting a revolution between the version of myself that I’ve let myself get comfortable with and the woman I know I can be. I’m starting by setting fire to excuses and self doubt and I’m marching forward with self confidence.


    What have you resolved to incite revolution about in your New Year? How are you going to go about succeeding? Happiest of New Years! Hang on to your hats ladies, it’s going to be battle of epic proportions but everything worth having in this life is worth fighting for!

    The Revolution Starts Today

  • FAWK YOU FRIDAY

    FAWK YOU FRIDAY

    * If you are looking for the “Follow me Button” go up to the top of the page, click on more info tab and there you will find my GFC button. I’d love it if you would follow and spread the word. If you ‘d like a The TRUTH about Motherhood button…here it is!

    BWS tips button

    Well, its been one of those weeks, you know the ones that kinda sucks monkey balls. Yeah, that’s the kind of week. So, I’ve decided to purge myself of that monkey ball after taste by giving the week a hefty Hell Yeah! FAWK YOU FRIDAY!  most likely followed by #Wineparty on twitter to celebrate the week being over! How better to do that than by linking up with my girl Jana’s Fawk You Friday?

    Fawk You to feet of snow. Yes, not inches but f*cking you right up the ass feet of snow. Between the 18 inches we got, the foot we still had and the crazy wind blowing all that shit around…I woke up Wednesday morning to snow, quite literally, up to my asshole!NOT COOL!

    Fawk You to the fact that my husband lives out of town during the week, but of course where he is..the ice got him. So, he had to stay “Home” where he was..not here “home” where we are! I don’t know why but when he has to stay home from work at the place he’s staying…because it’s NOT here with us, it makes me insanely jealous and perturbed so badly that I get on my own damn nerves. ARGH! FAWK YOU!

    Fawk You to the horrible communication at my daughter’s school. 2, count them 2!!!!, fawking dress down days this week…no fawking note! What am I? A freaking mind reader. I don’t run that joint. I need a heads up. Now, my poor kid was miserable because she lives for dress down days.Plus I made her look like her Mama doesn’t care enough to let her wear street clothes or pay enough attention to know when these blasted days are.FAWK ME!

    Fawk the 1 pound I gained this week. I work out, I watch what I eat, I try to drink my water but apparently when Mother Nature strikes and water weight decides to hold on to my ass for dear life…I am no competition.

    Fawk You to Mother nature! Between your fawking blizzard of 2011, my hemorrhage of 2011 & an all consuming craving for all things carbilicious…you are on my shit list lady! Fawk you..with no KY!

    FAWK YOU to being passed over and feeling shitty about it! I’m so sick of feeling less than I what I am due to how I gauge myself against others. It drives me insane. I need to keep my eyes on the goals and less on when others are hitting the finish line. I’m a late bloomer.I always have been, my time will come! Good things to those who wait right? I hope so!

    Happy Friday!

  • The Seven Stages of Second Baby Syndrome

    I know many of us have picky eaters. My 3 year old would be perfectly happy to exist on nothing more than chicken nuggets for the rest of her life. Most days I fight with her, barter with her, do anything I need to do ( Dance monkey dance) to get her to eat something different..but some days….I don’t. I know. I am horrible. My kid’s going to turn into a giant chicken nugget. But the nuggets, or Nuggies as they are affectionately called in my house, are just a symptom of a much larger problem…Second Baby Syndrome.

    Ahhh, I feel a weight has been lifted just by simply saying the words aloud.Many, if not all of you, know exactly this syndrome of which I speak. I’m not proud to admit this but it is the truth. With Bella, everything was perfect. What I mean to say is that I did my best to do everything right! She was always dressed adorably, not a hair out of place, all meals were up to food pyramid standards, just the right amount of sleep to play ratio. I read to her, I sang to her, I engaged her, TV time was limited, classes were taken, play dates were made and minds were expanded.I used to turn my nose up to those Moms that I saw in the grocery store, who looked like they had no mirrors in their house and so obviously should not have been parents..as they were yelling at a 3 year old at the top of their lungs because the poor kid wanted granola bars. Then we were blessed with Gabs.

    One child is ONE CHILD but two children feels more like ten! I naively thought that having two would be as easy as one. ( What I meant to say as easy as my one was.)What did I know?  Suddenly, my days went from doting, anticipating every need, hitting every milestone in stride and ending the day patting myself on the back for a job well done to feeling like I couldn’t can’t keep up. It all became a blur. A fog filled with love and clamor.Noise.Chaos.More love. It enveloped me.I fell into it willingly.But somewhere along the way, I got lost. I lost sight of all my expectations. I think I evolved (or perhaps devolved ) in my parenting skills, however you want to look at it.Somehow I became , what I now know to be, the exhausted, sleep deprived Mom whose husband travels for work all the time and who has not had a shower  or shaved her legs for 3 days. And after a testing morning trying to get her older child off to school, she NOW is standing in the middle of the grocery with her 3 year old tantruming over the exact same granola bars that Mommy had to throw away this morning because said child had spat it out all over the new carpet because…it tasted “bad”. All I know is that it was not humanly possible for me to keep up at the pace I had been doing with one child. There had to be a give and take.

    It’s a hard moment in motherhood when one has to accept this fact.It feels like defeat but really what it is IS growing pains.It’s you growing into your role of motherhood. I am certain I experienced the 7 stages of grief when letting go of my expectations of motherhood. First there was shock and denial. What? Both kids won’t nap at the same time?I can handle this.I don’t need sleep! 2nd stage, Pain and guilt. I can’t take this any more.Mommy needs some time to decompress too.Please go to sleep. Oh, no don’t cry. It’s OK. Say awake.I’m such a crappy Mommy trying to force my toddler to go to bed, just so I can have some alone time. I suck! 3rd stage, anger and bargaining. GO TO SLEEP!!! Just be quiet and go to sleep. Please go to sleep! If you go to sleep, I will take you to Chuck E. Cheese tomorrow. 4th stage, depression, reflection and loneliness. Crying because you feel overwhelmed. During this time, you finally realize the magnitude of your loss and it depresses you.You can’t be the parent that you had expected to be..because it’s impossible. You may feel isolated, left to reflect alone on your lost expectations and focus on what you thought things could have been.( Cue the montage of you and your pre baby body running in a field of lilies with your perfectly coiffed matching dressed little girls.) You may sense feelings of emptiness, failure or despair.5th stage, the upward turn. You begin to adjust to your new role with new expectations.Life will become calmer and more organized. What that really means is that your house will be dirtier, the meals will be less food pyramid organic and more chicken nuggets for the finicky pallet of the most distinguished toddler connoisseur. Mommy guilt will begin to lift. Stage 6, reconstruction and working through.As you become more functional, your mind starts working again ( mommy brain may have lifted a bit but, let’s be honest, probably not.It’s a slippery slope from pregnancy brain to Mommy brain to full on forget where you put your vajayjay this morning.. sun downers.I’m just saying). You will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by motherhood. For example, the 5 second rule becomes perfectly acceptable.God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt, may be heard around the house.Summer afternoons in the pool may begin to qualify as bath time. And finally, you will reach stage 7, acceptance and hope.You learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. This in no way means instant happiness. There’s no magic pill for motherhood. Once you give in to the reality that parenting two babies is exponentially harder than one, you can adjust your attitude, your expectations and your technique. You can have hope that one day, you will sleep again.Someday…maybe when they are married and sleeping safely in their bed with their husbands. (Sucker, She’s your problem now!)

    And so as I sit here, stuffing more random pieces of paper with notes scribbled on them into Gabs’ baby book, I am reminded of the quote ” Don’t be sad that it’s over, be happy that it happened!”~Seuss Be glad that you cared enough to have the expectations and to impose them on yourself in the first place. Then, go feed that kid some chicken nuggets before they throw a tantrum in the middle of the store:)

  • The Winner of the Chicago Shakespeare Theater’s Macbeth family 4 pack Giveaway

    The Winner of the Chicago Shakespeare Theater’s Macbeth family 4 pack Giveaway

    The winner of the Chicago Shakespeare Theater family 4 pack to Macbeth is ….
    comment # 2, Bertha “OMG, I LOVE Shakespeare! I have always wanted to see one of his plays and have never had the opportunity! I also am within 20 min of Chicago, so to be able to enjoy a Full day of festivities in Downtown Chicago is also something I don’t get to do very often, But would love the chance to! English was one of My Strong points in school, and Macbeth was one of My favorite plays, so please consider me when giving these tickets away! Thank You so Much!”

    Congratulations and I hope that you have a wonderful time at the play. You will have a blast.Please email me at truthfulmommy@gmail.com so I can get your information to get you your tickets!For the rest of you, I hope you will still go see the production. It is always a fabulous time and stay tuned, there is usually a production every couple of months.

  • Toddlers,Tiaras and Mommies who need to shut their whore mouths!

    Apparently, TLC is hell bent on skewing reality so badly that they are actively trying to change the curve even worse than they already have with toddlers and tiaras. TLC, the channel who used to bring us informative information about hermaphrodites, little people and people so obese that they had to be cut out of their homes has decided that it takes a village to ruin childhood…and they want to be the mayor of that village. That’s right people, MTV has some definite competition. Well, I can say this,  MTV has at least the decency to wait until our children are teenagers or tweens to provide them with an arsenal of extraneous sex, bad language, and examples of lewd and lascivious lifestyles to emulate.TLC has, however, decided that if you want to destroy a child’s life completely and in its entirety you need to get a much earlier start. You know, don’t put off til tomorrow what you can destroy today!

    First, there was Toddlers and Tiaras. Don’t get me started. I know some people find it entertaining to see little girls dressed up like whores by their morbidly obese , white trash mothers and paraded about like prize cattle..all in the name of “My daughter’s  the prettiest and I know this because I just spent $4000 for my daughter to win a $500 scholarship and the title of “pretty girl” How fucking ridiculous is this? What are we teaching our daughters? Oh yes, that’s right…we are doing our solid best to perpetuate the myth that our daughters only worth is in what they look like and what’s between their legs. WHY? Can we all repeat after me, JON BENET RAMSEY! You see how that turned out? Is this really what we want for our girls? Spray on tans. Flippers for little girls missing teeth. Hair pieces. Whore make up. Revealing clothing.Suggestive dancing. Little girls having complete mental meltdowns because they are being taught, by their mothers who are supposed to love them unconditionally, that they are only worthy of love if they are wearing a bedazzled tiara because these broads are living vicariously through their little girls. Just one more reason to support my theory that some people needed to take an IQ test before being allowed to conceive!

    Now, TLC, has kicked it up a notch. TLC has seen fit to develop a show called Outrageous Kid Parties. I know you are thinking, so what? I mean, I thought I was a little over the top inviting 100 people to my Bella’s 1st birthday party. Or a little silly that every year my girls have a themed birthday party complete with costumes. Yes, last year we did have a Moulin Rouge themed birthday party for a 5 year old. What can I say, the kid is theatrical. We’ve had Fancy Nancy tea parties that were so extravagantly catered ( by my husband and I ) that people asked who we had cater the function. We’ve had cakes brought in special from a bakery in Chicago.Then there was the Bellapalooza incident of 2009. I’m not going to lie. I put a lot of time, thought, love and sometimes money into my girls’ birthday parties. I think it has a lot more to do with giving them what my parent’s couldn’t afford to give me. But never..NEVER would, could, should I spend $32,000 on a kids party. Aside from the fact that I couldn’t afford it without taking out a second mortgage on my house ( which, by the way, I’m saving for their weddings), I would never want to do something so completely insane. Jeez people, this just in..Kids starving in Africa while you are paying $3000 for a birthday cake!WTF????

    That’s right, TLC, has taken the whole My super sweet 16 MTV show and made its very own version for the toddler/elementary school set. It is so ridiculous that it may actually make my head spin right off my neck. This annoys me for several reasons.One, who can live up to these unbelievable standards? Two, what are we teaching our children? The celebration of one’s birthday should be to commemorate the day they were born, not the  day their parents went broke. Are we trying to raise a generation of gold diggers? Has no one heard the saying “Everything in moderation”? Excess of anything, even a good thing is NO BUENO!!! What’s next, TLC presents Skins for babies? What? Don’t look so shocked. With everything else TLC has deemed reasonable, why not?

    What are your thoughts on excessive extravagance for children? What are we teaching our children? Or do you think as long as we can afford it, the sky is the limit? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

  • Mommy Truisms;the Labor Day edition

    Just a few more of my Mommy Truisms to brighten your Labor day!

    • Labor is like being stuck in rush hour traffic~annoying, boring,uncomfortable and full of anxiety
    • Delivery is like minding your own business and suddenly being kicked in the head by a unicorn flying overhead~ painful, unbelievable and magical.
    • Watching your child learn/experience something for the very first time is more awesome than winning the lottery and a lot more likely to happen in your lifetime.
    • Vaccinations hurt Mommies 97% more than they actually hurt our children.
    • Listening to what your 3 year old is trying to tell you is so much more important than any phone call, email, television show, chore~all that other stuff will still be there, your 3 year olds childhood will not.
    • Firsts are so hard because they lead to lasts.
    • The first time you leave your child alone with strangers (school, ballet, soccer, gymnastics, daycare) you will cry and feel extreme guilt~ You are NOT a bad Mommy!
    • Guilt is just a side effect of being a great Mommy!
    Happy Mothering, my friends!

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