The TRUTH About Motherhood

Search results for: “back to school/page/21/ https:/www.target.com/c/kids-back-to-school/-/N-5xtyp”

You Mean Well, But Stop Saying These Toxic Things to Cancer Patients
Estimated reading time: 0 minutes
Today’s Throat Punch is a bit of an emotional express train, but it’s an important one. Because while I fancy myself a bit of a comedic truth-teller most days, some situations require putting the funny-lady shtick aside momentarily. This is that moment. Apparently, we all need a tutorial ( a “What Not to Say to Cancer Patients ” for Dummies” if you will) so people can stop saying stupid AF and insensitive things to cancer warriors; to people we know and love. If you don’t stop hurting the feelings of people already dealing with the hardest moment in their life, I may have to put on my ass-kicking superhero outfit and throat punch you for them. You’ve been warned.
What is Glioblastoma?
We’re talking about cancer in general but glioblastoma, in particular, today -according to Cleveland Clinic, glioblastoma multiforme (GBM) is the most common type of malignant (cancerous) brain tumor in adults. Cancer cells in GBM tumors rapidly multiply. The cancer can spread into other areas of the brain as well. Rarely, the cancer spreads outside the brain to other parts of the body.
Glioma tumors like GBM start in glial cells. Glial cells are vital to nerve cell function. GBMs specifically form in glial cells called astrocytes. GBMs are the fastest-growing astrocytoma (tumor that forms in astrocytes). It’s the kind of diagnosis that punches you in the gut and sinks your heart straight through the floor, no matter who you are.
I’ve had more friends than I care to recount bravely fight the cancer monster over the years. I’ve seen it turn vibrant humans into mere shells, ripping away independence, cognitive abilities, and bland normalcies we so casually take for granted each day. Right now, someone I love is facing the kind of diagnosis that knocks you to your knees. She’s one of the bravest and most brilliant women I know and the last thing she needs is to the suffer fools saying stupid ass shit to her online or in person. Thats why I’m writing this because you all need to use your common sense and ask yourself BEFORE you open your mouth, “How would I feel in her situation if someone said what I’m about top ask her?” and then shut your mouth.
It’s a different kind of nightmare when the thing you’re battling resides in the very home base operating your entire physical existence – your brain. Glioblastoma is quite literally your own body turning against you in one of the cruelest, most insidious ways imaginable.
So if you’ve never been impacted by a loved one facing this reality, trust me – just be quiet and send up some gratitude. Because it’s a hell that vastly exceeds any offense my usual Throaty subjects could ever dish out.
But since we’re being radically candid today, I do have ONE thing I’d like to firmly THROAT PUNCH into submission:
What NOT to Say to Someone Battling Cancer
We’ve all been there – someone we care about gets dealt a world-shattering health prognosis. Glioblastoma, or otherwise. And despite our utterly pure intentions, we WILL say inadvertently awful, cringeworthy things in the aftermath as we grapple with how to act.
Comments that make us smack our foreheads in private, realizing we just barged straight into a fully-body-fazed moment of profound uncomfortable silence.
I’ve been that foot-in-mouth airbag inflater more times than I can count. I’ve also been the recipient of stupid and insensitive comments when I was at one of the hardest moments of my life. We want so badly to provide comfort, to say the “right” thing that’ll take away the suffocating weight, but we often shove our foot directly into the wound instead.
So consider this your official game plan for what to SHUT UP about when supporting someone going through hell:
- No Comments About Causation, Vice or Fault
“Did you smoke/drink/eat too many processed foods when you were younger?”
No, Karen, they didn’t “do” anything to “cause” this. Cancer is an indiscriminate monster, period. Unless your genuine medical advice was solicited, stop trying to diagnose a way to rationalize the unthinkable.
- No Platitudes or Toxically Positive BS
“Don’t worry, you’ll get through this! Everything’s gonna be just fine!”
Oh wow, super cool! I didn’t realize this was armageddon allergies and not, you know, a terrifying brain cancer! While positivity has its place, false reassurances often just gaslight away the person’s very visceral fears and struggles. Let them feel how they need to feel.
- No Narcissistic± Sidetracking
“I once had this cousin who had a scare, and let me tell you…”
For the love of God, STOP. This isn’t your moment to make an irrelevant grand pivot and arrogantly make things about yourself for 28 minutes. Exercise restraint and make this about THEM.
- No Unsolicited Treatment Instructions
“From what I’ve researched online, you shouldn’t be doing chemo – only natural remedies and a dairy-free juice cleanse!”
Unless “Dr. Facebook School of Health” is an accredited medical dynasty I missed, keep your unqualified treatment recs to yourself. Ask how YOU can best support whatever THEIR medical team suggests.
- No Weird Existential Probing
“So…do you believe in the afterlife then?”
I CANNOT stress this enough: the name on the Grim Reaper’s ominous guest list is not yours to shortcut RSVP for! Blatantly morbid Qs only amplify fear and discomfort, so shut your literal forever piehole.
…And Above All Else: NO MAKING IT THEIRS
- “Your/The Cancer…”
This fire-breathing monster FORCED its way into their life uninvited. It was not some assumed decision or claimed identity. It’s simply an unfair, horrific circumstance beyond their control that they’re being outrageously strong in fighting.
So make damn sure you don’t go accidentally making this THEIR personal “thing” to have with possessive language. It’s NOT THEIRS – it’s the disgusting affliction they have the profound audacity to keep rallying against each day. So afford them that vital distinction.
At the end of the day, someone facing a cancer nightmare doesn’t need your wacky armchair expertise or stifling social niceties. They need two very simple human superpowers from you:
- A stubbornly present supportive ear to listen…
- And a soul strong enough to look the dragon’s flame straight in the eye alongside them without flinching.
Just show up and BE THERE, through all the scary valleys and occasional picturesque peaks this horrendous road is sure to bring. Let them lead the conversation where they need it to go.
Do NOT co-opt their grief. This.Is.NOT.about.You.
I don’t care how terrible you feel, I know it sucks. but you need to be cool bitch. Hold it together. Only speak affirmations of your unwavering faith in their ability to keep fighting, and that you’ll be their kick in the pants when they need it most:
“I don’t know what’s coming, but I know YOU – and you’re stronger than whatever bull$#%* this thing will throw your way. I’m locked in, strapped in, and not letting go for a second until we’ve kicked cancer’s ass together, side-by-side. Whatever you need from me – whenever you need it – you’ve got it.”
Because at the end of the day, that’s all any of us really needs when facing the abyss:
The validation that we don’t have to be stronger than we’re capable of.
Just strong enough to never have to be stronger ALONE.
So let’s all take a big collective breath and do BETTER at being present for those being swallowed whole by this nightmare.
Say THE right things – or just shut up and SHOW UP with the strongest heart you’ve got. That’s more than enough to start.
Sending all my love and strength to every last warrior still waging this heaviest of battles today, especially my girl, Jill. You are the bravest souls, and you’ve got infinite love, light and support behind you for the hearty fight ahead.
If you know someone going through a cancer struggle, I implore you – check in on them. Ask how you can tangibly lighten any load, no matter how small. Offer to lend an ear without caveats. Stay involved in their journey without forcibly inserting yourself as a hype-person. Send them a meal for the family. Pick up the slack. Drive the kids to school. Do the laundry. Load the dishwasher. It might seem mundane but when you’re going through a life changing struggle, the little things matter.
And most importantly, if they’re a parent facing this terror…ask what you can do to support their child or children too. The psychic/emotional/physical tolls of this beast impact entire families. Do what you can to ease that unbearable burden in any way they need.
We’re all in this life thing together – let’s start showing up that way for those doing the hardest pushing and shoving against darkness to keep seeing brighter days ahead.
While you are here, if you want to do some good you can start here:
I don’t ask for much ever but Jill Smokler is one of my dearest friends and favorite people in the world. She is facing one of the most challenging moments in her life.

To know her is to love her and I f@cking love her… so much. She has made it her mission to help moms and women all over the world; from making them laugh and cry their way through motherhood, to putting Thanksgiving meals on tables for families who otherwise would have none, to helping us Gen Xers and Millennials laugh our way through our perimenopausal rage. She’s always been there for us and it’s time we’re there for her.

If you’ve ever enjoyed her stories on Scary Mommy, listened to the She’s Got Issues podcast, sat around a table or a pool under the warm Florida night or had the privilege and honor of knowing her, loving her and being her friend, please donate!
It is our turn to show up for Jill by relieving her of some of the massive financial burden that this fatal disease is causing so she can focus on fighting and being present for her three kids without the added stress of paying for medical expenses, experimental treatments and everything they entail, rehab, and the list goes on.

Let’s show Jill that this massive community she has touched is still here and in this fight with her!
Please donate here ( if you can) and please share this fundraiser far and wide!
https://gofund.me/cb1a596f
2024/05/20
Cheat Bribe and Lie that’s how Privilege Beats the System
Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman and 31 other parents were charged in the college admissions scandal. 50 people were charged earlier this week in a nationwide scheme to fast-track students for admission to elite colleges and universities. As a parent, I understand wanting the best for your children just like Lori Loughlin wanted the best for her daughters, Olivia Jade Giannulli and Isabella Rose Giannulli, social media influence and fake USC crew recruits.
I understand wanting to give your child the world but isn’t cheating their way in doing them a disservice? They are learning that they can cheat their way to success and they either don’t care or have lost confidence in their own abilities to earn entrance. What these parents did was absurd and they should be held accountable. But now, it’s not just them but their kids too. These kids, whether they knew about what their parents were doing or not, have landed smack dab in the middle of this scandal. How embarrassing!
READ ALSO: They Wanted Better for Us
For example, Olivia Jade Gianulli and Isabella Rose are losing sponsorships and their social media influence is dwindling as their teen fanbase are mad about her cheating her way into college. This scandal is not only going to probably get Lori Loughlin’s daughters kicked out of school, but it’s also going to ruin their reputation as social media influencers leaving these girls without a proverbial pot to piss in, well, except for the millions their parents have. They’ll be okay.
Also, let’s all be clear here. This is not the first time this has happened. This has probably been going on since colleges existed and wealthy parents wanted their kids to have a prestigious diploma to hang on their wall. It’s no different than the college athletes who are encouraged by the administration to skate by in easy classes to stay eligible to play. Privilege is nice if you’re on the receiving end of it.
READ ALSO: Everything in Life Worth Having I Earned in College
When I was 17, I applied to several universities, all very high-quality institutions of higher learning, some even ivy league. I got accepted to all of them through hard work, good grades and extracurricular activities. I worked my ass off for it. The only limitation I had when it came to choosing a school was money. I come from a blue-collar family, with an immigrant father and a stay at home mother. They had six kids, one salary and no extra.
Everything we got, we worked hard for. 5 out of the 6 of us graduated from college with real-world degrees. My brothers went to college on soccer scholarships and financial aid. They took the opportunity their athletic abilities provided them and used it to fund their futures.
I worked full-time, took financial aid loans and whatever scholarships I could qualify for as did my sister. I did whatever I had to; late nights, driving an hour and a half each way between school and work because to me, it was worth it. My parents taught us to take the opportunities we earned and use them to better situation.
My parents raised us with pride and integrity. They raised us to respect ourselves and the education system. Our parents inspired us to work hard and believe in ourselves. My parents may not have had money but they gave us what they could, believe in ourselves and self-confidence.
READ ALSO: How to Afford the Education your Child Deserves
Believe me, I get it, wanting to give your child every leg up that you can. But buying their way into college is not only not fair but not even helpful. Firstly, what message are you sending to your child that you have to help cheat their way into college? They are too dumb to get in on their own? Or worse, they are too lazy to try? Either way, you are aren’t doing them favors in the long run.
Secondly, you are actually teaching them to be entitled and promoting white privilege. There are things in life that you need to earn to fully appreciate them and if you don’t earn them, you don’t deserve them. Also, I don’t just blame these mothers, why are we not calling out Mossimo Giannulli or William Macy?
(Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)
Thirdly, putting kids into universities that they had to cheat their way into is taking the spot of someone who earned it and belongs there on merit. These students are taking spots that they didn’t earn, probably cheating their way through ( because if they couldn’t qualify to get in on their own they probably can’t keep up) for a piece of paper they don’t need because they are already wealthy. Not to be flippant, but I haven’t heard of a lot of celebrity children going into medicine, law or other scholarly fields. Most of them either go into the family business or spend their lives living off of the spoils of their parents’ careers. I see you, Paris Hilton.
Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman and all the parents who did this, shame on you and your privilege.
Meanwhile, the underprivileged, smart kids of the world who are dependent on entry into these universities to not only change their situation but their lives are screwed. Those of us who grew up blue-collar or even middle class are taught to chase the American dream and through hard work and determination we can get into the good universities and get armed with the tools to chase after those dreams. With celebrities buying their entitled, lazy kids their way into college the kids who deserve it are losing those spots. These parents are literally stealing futures from other kids.
What are these parents teaching their children? I get it. Every parent wants better for their children then they had. It’s natural. These wealthy parents worked hard for their wealth and success. There is a sense of satisfaction and happiness that comes from working hard for something. There is pride and dignity tied to accomplishment. In the end, these parents (however well-meaning their intentions may have been) cheated their own children. They cheated all of the kids who should have earned those university spots. Cheated their own children out of the satisfaction of earning their own way.
What do you think should happen to Felicity Huffman, Lori Loughlin and all of these parents and the students who are part of the college admissions scandal?
2019/03/14
One is the Loneliest Number~Nutrisystem Update Wk.9
I just finished week 9 of Nutrisystem and this week I lost 1 pound. 1.pound. Those 4 pounds I gained at BlogHer are not going down without a fight. But I am not giving up. I can’t give up. Giving up is how I ended up where I am today, 100 pounds away from my goal weight.
It’s weird how it’s so easy to stay off track once your diet has derailed. I just can’t get my head back in the weight loss game. I need to hit reboot on my healthy lifestyle. I’ve been following the meal plan but I am still not back on track with my daily workouts. The food is the easy part. The Nutrisystem food tastes great but the moving around, the working out, that is essential to losing weight for me. It makes all the difference in the world.
I get up every morning with the intention to workout but with school getting ready to start back, I’ve been swept up in last minute back-to-school shopping, filling out paperwork and trying to get my girls back into their routine. Life is crazy and it is getting in the way.
Maybe that is an excuse? Isn’t that how I got here in the first place? Making excuses? Or reasons? Either way, the end result is gaining weight. The end result is me; unhappy in the skin I am in so no more excuses.
Has this happened to you? Have you started off strong and committed and then life gets in the way and it just seems easier to eat what’s available and not workout? Working out takes effort and you have to be committed to doing it. Thinking about it won’t work. Having good intentions won’t work. You have to get up, put your shoes and go do it. No more excuses. Just do it!
Want to join me in losing weight and getting healthy on Nutrisystem? You can join Nutrisystem by calling 1-888-853-4689 or visiting https://www.nutrisystem.com/nsblog
Disclaimer: Nutrisystem is providing my program free of charge for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogger program but all opinions are honest and my own.

Photo

2013/08/05
Avgolemono Greek Lemon Chicken Soup Recipe
I have partnered with Minute® Rice to share with you the recipe of one of my family’s favorite cold weather, holiday hectic comfort foods; Avgolemono Greek Lemon Chicken soup.
Have you ever had a food, scent or object that reminded you of home so much that if you were around it, it took you right back to that place? I do, it’s Greek Lemon Chicken soup. It’s chocked full of healthy, comfort foods like fresh chicken, Minute® Rice, a creamy sauce and loads of hearty veggies. It’s even better than it sounds, especially on cold, long winter days.
There used to be a little café back home run by a little, old Greek couple. I’d gone there since I was in high school with my best friend on Saturday afternoons to talk over our lives and sip on that amazing Greek Lemon Chicken Soup. This continued through our 20’s. If I was home from school, even in the summer time, that Greek Lemon Chicken soup was always a staple. Somehow, it made everything seem possible.
READ ALSO: Homemade Cranberry Orange Sauce
Growing up in a Latina home, I’d never had Greek Lemon Chicken Soup before that café and as I got older and moved away, I missed that soup. It always reminded me of home and a time when anything was possible. It was like a giant hug from the inside out. I took my husband there while we were dating. It was like sharing a wonderful secret.
That little café closed a few years ago but I refused to imagine a world where possibilities weren’t endless and I wanted to share it with my own girls someday. I was really upset at the thought of never getting to have girl talks and share secrets over soup with my daughters as they grew into women.
I did what any sane, determined mom on a mission would do I came up with a recipe that tastes just as good as the Greek Lemon Chicken Soup and I’ve shared it on several occasions with my girls. We sit around our dinner table and share our days and it is wonderful. The best part is that it makes a huge batch and heats up just as deliciously as it tasted on day one. During the frenzy of the holiday season, this soup is a life saver for the busy family. There is nothing quite so comforting as coming in from sledding to eat a hot bowl of Greek Lemon Chicken Soup and with Minute® Rice it’s done that much sooner.
READ ALSO: How to Roast the Perfect Turkey
Here is my recipe for the best Greek Lemon Chicken Soup I’ve ever tasted. I will warn you. It is a labor of love. It takes a little prep time but I’ve found some shortcuts and in the end, the soup is so worth it. The flavor is out of this world and your family will feel the love in each bite.
Ingredients for Greek Lemon Chicken Soup:
8 cups of chicken broth, bought or homemade chicken broth
2/3 cup of fresh squeezed lemon juice
1 cup of shredded carrots
2/3 cup of chopped onion
1 cup of chopped celery
6 tablespoons of chicken bouillon
½ teaspoon black pepper
½ cup of butter
½ cup all-purpose flour
1 cup of cooked white Minute® Rice (you can also use Minute 100% whole grain brown rice, it just take a few more minutes to cook.) Minute® Rice is my favorite because it cooks quickly and is always fluffy.
3 shredded chicken breasts (I boil the chicken for 1 hour before shredding)
8 egg yolks
Directions:
1. In a large pot combine the chicken broth, lemon juice, shredded carrots, onions, celery, chicken bouillon and white pepper.
2. Bring to a boil on high and let simmer for 20 minutes.
3. Blend melted butter and flour together. Then, carefully add it to the soup mixture. Simmer for 10 more minutes.
4. Meanwhile, beat egg yolks until light in color.
5. Add some of the hot soup to the egg yolks, stirring constantly.
6. Return egg mix to soup pot and heat through. Add rich and chicken.
7. Ladle hot soup into bowls.
8. Enjoy with those you love.
I guarantee that your family will love this soup and adore you for making it. It quickly became a favorite of our girls. Bonus: it is so hearty that you can make an entire meal of it, no sides needed. Many nights we have enjoyed a bowl of Greek Lemon Chicken soup in front of the fireplace while watching a movie together as a family.
It also pairs great with your favorite Panini, grilled cheese or a small salad for lunch or dinner. We’ve drawn this soup out to dinner for at least 3 days.
READ ALSO: How to make Sweet Potato Casserole
What is your favorite comfort food that reminds you of home?
For more great recipe ideas and information about all the new Minute rice products visit www. Minuterice.com

Photo
Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Minute® Rice
2014/12/15
How You Can Help a Child Survive the Pandemic
This post is made possible with support from the American Academy of Pediatrics through a cooperative agreement with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. All opinions are my own.
2020 has been a crazy year. Things have happened to all of us that we never could have imagined. As an adult, it’s been trying. It’s hard to get your bearings when the world feels like it’s on fire. I can only imagine how hard this must be on our children; struggling to make sense of everything and trying to function in this new normal. It’s not normal for any of us.
I’ve stayed vigilant these past 9 months since the pandemic began, trying to keep our lives right side up. It takes effort, work, ingenuity, and creativity. I’ve spent the past 15 years trying to help my daughters avoid the pitfalls of ACEs because I suffered them myself and know the effect they can have on a child. Hopefully, our vigilance as parents being safe nurturing caregivers will help our girls fair better should the pandemic be traumatic.
READ ALSO: Sending Kids Back to School during a Pandemic
ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) are negative childhood experiences that impact children and can have long-lasting effects. There are 10 ACEs, and they fall into 3 categories: 1) Abuse (physical, emotional, or sexual); 2) Neglect (physical or emotional); and 3) Household dysfunction (mental illness, domestic violence, divorce, incarcerated relative, substance abuse). Thankfully, ACEs can be prevented or mitigated when adults and children have strong support systems through individuals or organizations.
There are a lot of traumatic things that can happen in a child’s life—including death, pandemics, or natural disasters—over which we have no control, but ACEs can be prevented either directly with help from another person, or indirectly through policy, education, or society changes such as paid family leave or prison sentencing laws.
Luckily, I had adults in my life who helped me navigate those ACEs in my life and get through them. Since then, my goal has always been to be an advocate for children and to pay forward the kindness that was given to me by the three people who saved my life without ever knowing it, even more so this holiday season.
READ ALSO: What Every Mom Needs to Know about Coronavirus
This is not something difficult. I’m not special. But being there for a kid when they need it most can make a huge difference in their life as it did for me. We all have the capability to be kind to others, to help others in need, especially children. Experiencing an adverse childhood experience can be traumatic and can set the tone for the quality of life going forward. Having a support system in place can mean the difference between moving through and past hard things in life or getting stuck or even regressing.
This year, coronavirus has taught me a lot of invaluable life lessons. The most important is how important it is to be able to ask for and give help when needed. But kids can’t always do that. Just the way toddlers can’t always verbalize what they feel because of their lack of vocabulary, bigger kids and teens still have difficulty expressing their emotions, especially during a pandemic. It’s hard to turn to the adults in your life for help when they are crumbling under the enormous weight of an international health crisis. We’re all trying our best but sometimes, as parents, just like our kids, we have to be willing to ask for and accept help.
The most important thing is to create safe, stable, and nurturing relationships and environments for our own children and the children around us. This is the foundation upon which their entire lives will be built. This foundation is not only essential to lifelong health and happiness but could even prevent ACEs from happening in the first place.
For my own children, I check in daily; sometimes hourly. A big part of being there for them is being present in a time when, honestly, a lot of us just want to check out. Another thing I did was put both of my girls into virtual therapy. I am diabetic (underlying condition) so we have only left the house a handful of times in the past 9 months. The girls are doing school virtually. I’m doing grad school virtually. I’m working virtually. We’ve been wearing masks and quarantining for a long time. There have been no family visits. No friends to talk to in-person or at birthday parties. There was no family Thanksgiving celebration. Our world is pretty much the 4 of us who live in this house and as much as we love one another, it is a lot. I didn’t spend all these years doing everything so my girls didn’t experience ACEs just for the aftermath of a global pandemic to mess everything up so I’ve learned to pivot. I know my limits, and I’m not too proud to ask for help.
Therapy helps my daughters talk to someone other than me and express any anxieties or fears they might have and don’t want or can’t talk to me about. It’s a pressure release. I’ve also encouraged the girls to video chat with friends and family and encouraged my husband to initiate his own conversations with them. I want them to feel connected even when we’re physically not and feel heard when the world is so noisy.
I’ve noticed my daughters’ friends also experiencing these same issues as my girls. I’ve always been the mom who the kids know they can talk to about anything. I’m the mom who isn’t afraid to go to school and speak up for the kid getting bullied. I’m the mom who if I see your child struggling or reaching out for attention, I will tell you. I know it might not be popular with my daughters, but if I see a child talking about depression or suicide (needing help), I will and have reached out to their parents or school officials. I can’t ignore it when it can mean the difference between life and death. The thing is you never know what kind of desperation is behind a social media post (especially during coronavirus), and I just don’t feel comfortable taking that chance. I know it’s not a lot, but it’s a small way that I can provide kindness and advocate on behalf of the children in my life.
READ ALSO: Surviving Child Abuse
Being there for children is free. It only takes a willingness to help, time, and genuine concern. This pandemic holiday season, I am going to make sure to send personalized cards to the kids in our lives to let them know they are not alone and we are here to support them. I am also going to take some time to personally call and check in on some of them. I’ll also be checking their social media accounts including the fake accounts their parents know nothing about. The holidays are always a hard time of year for some, but I think this year is hard probably for most.
My gift to the children in my life this year is to be one of their three if they need me, like the three people who were there for me when I needed them most. If I can help a child get through these uncertain times by being part of an unconditional support system and providing some stability, that would be a gift to me.
We’ve all had our three (or more) people in our lives who’ve been there to help us when we needed them most. This holiday season, let’s all pay it forward. Who were the three people who helped create a safe, stable, and nurturing relationship or environment when you were growing up? What will you do to be one of a child’s three this holiday season?

2020/12/03
How to Save a Life with Your Hands
Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written in partnership with the Anthem Foundation, however, all opinions are my own.
Do you know CPR? If someone you loved were to collapse to the ground right in front of you, would you know how to appropriately administer CPR or Hands-Only CPR? I’m not sure that I would.
When I was a teenager, I learned how to give traditional CPR at the Red Cross when I was getting my license to be a lifeguard but I long forget the specifics. When I was pregnant with Bella, again I took a class at the hospital to learn how to administer CPR but it’s been 12-years since then.
I don’t work in the medical field and (knock on wood) I haven’t had the misfortune to need to use CPR thus far but that doesn’t mean I won’t. I could. I’m sure many of us will, at some point in our life.
I’d hate to think that someone, anyone really, my husband, my children, my parents or even just a stranger on the street had a heart attack and died because I never took a refresher course and forgot how to administer CPR appropriately. I’m not sure that I could live with myself if I had to just stand there and couldn’t at least try.
Did you know that over 350 thousand Americans suffer out-of-hospital cardiac arrests every year, and about 90 percent die. That’s scary. But did you know that Hands-Only CPR, especially if performed immediately, can double or even triple a cardiac arrest victim’s chance of survival. However, less than half of people who suffer out-of-hospital cardiac arrest receive bystander CPR or Hands-Only CPR.
[video src="https://120517_Video_Anthem%20FINAL.mp4" /]

We don’t all need to be doctors but I think we all need to know how to administer basic Hands-Only CPR to at least give someone a shot at surviving until the paramedics arrived. That’s why The Anthem Foundation has awarded the American Heart Association a five-year, 7.8 million dollar grant to bring lifesaving Hands-Only CPR to 100 million Americans.
Hands-Only CPR has just two easy steps: one, If a teen or adult suddenly collapses, call 9-1-1; and two, Push hard and fast in the center of the chest until help arrives. Remember if you are called on to give Hands-Only CPR in an emergency, you will most likely be trying to save the life of someone you love: a child, a spouse, a parent or a friend. To learn more please visit www.heart.org/handsonlycpr and www.anthem.foundation.
If you want to learn Hands-Only CPR please check an American Heart Association video here.
2017/12/11
Throat Punch Thursday ~ Dress code; No PJs for YOU Edition

Dress code for parents at Drop Off ~ My daughter goes to private elementary school and I love her school. It keeps the focus on academics and spirituality and that is super cool because that is why I’m spending my life savings getting my girls the education and environment that I feel is most conducive to them being good, intelligent, respectable people in the world. Basically, I spend all of my hard earned money so that your world can be filled with great people. I can put up with all the SCRIP and SCRAP, festivals and the plethora of volunteering duties. Hell, I’ll even run the damn Fall carnival , room mother both my girls and rule the entire HASA but damn it, nobody better tell me what I can or can’t wear to drop off my children at school. Seriously, dress code for parents? Isn’t that a violation of one of my amendments? It’s not like I’m going to jump out of the car in my footed duckie jams and dance a jig using jazz hands while screaming “Superstar”. I just want to be able to not have a fashion crisis before 8 am every morning. As long as I’m not showing up naked or mostly naked, where as I am accosting the children, leave me be.
I don’t judge you, don’t give me a dress code.
Dress Code for Parents, I don’t think so
Apparently, there is an elementary school somewhere in the world where they have implemented a dress code for parents when dropping off and picking up their children. Parents must conform to the same rigorous dress code guidelines as their children. So what? Now, they want me to wear a flipping uniform to pick up my kids? Heil Hitler? What are they the effing dress code Nazis? I’m not one of those moms who drives all over town in her pajama pants, rollers and dirty t-shirt that the baby spat up on last night. But I am most definitely holding my own in sweat pant purgatory. Hey, I’m not proud of my lack of unleashing my inner fashionista but damn it I have two kids to get ready,feed, dress, lug to the opposite side of town and at two separate schools, not to mention, I actually do go directly to the personal trainers on most days. Hey, at least I’m not pulling up in a minivan and that’s something. I am dressed appropriately for my morning. Hell yes, I wear yoga pants and sweat shirts most days, especially in the morning. I am abiding by what I assume is pretty much standard dress code for parents everywhere.Well, except for that one bitch who must get up at 5 am to wiggle into those damn skinny jeans and high heels. MILF my ass, she’s making the rest of us look bad because of her daddy issues. I’m pretty sure these would be her pajamas. In that case, I agree no lingerie for drop off because all the dad’s would be ass ending one another (No that’s not a euphemism).
[fusion_builder_container hundred_percent=”yes” overflow=”visible”][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type=”1_1″ background_position=”left top” background_color=”” border_size=”” border_color=”” border_style=”solid” spacing=”yes” background_image=”” background_repeat=”no-repeat” padding=”” margin_top=”0px” margin_bottom=”0px” class=”” id=”” animation_type=”” animation_speed=”0.3″ animation_direction=”left” hide_on_mobile=”no” center_content=”no” min_height=”none”]
This I could see as inappropriate at drop off.I'm pretty sure she'd make all the Dads wreck and possibly kill Sister Mary.
Thank God and Mary too, that our school has had the good sense to not implement any such craziness. I think for what I pay in tuition, I should be able to wear whatever I want to drop my kids off as long as they are clean, well coiffed and dressed appropriately. I don’t think my stint in sweat pant purgatory should have any bearing on my kids’ education. I am pretty sure that my yoga pants are not so offensive as to cause my children’s brain cells to actually spontaneously combust the moment their eyes fall in my general direction. I could be wrong but, since this is my blog, I say hell no to the dress code and throat punch to any school who tries to dictate what parents are allowed to wear.
Dress code for parents;violation of my inalienable rights!
[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
2011/10/20
The Secret Life of the American Teenager
Raising a teen is hard. Being a teen is hard. I know a lot of us parents complain about our teens and how inconvenient their ever-changing moods are. We wonder where our sweet little children have gone and why in his/her place a grouchy, nonverbal awkward almost adult has arrived. Maybe we need to look a little deeper and exercise a little more patience.
Sometimes, I can be overbearing and dismissive. I’m tired and my life is pretty monotonous. I know after 14 years, sometimes I run on autopilot. We get so caught up in our own inner dialogue that we forget that everything our children do is not always just to make our lives harder, even though it may feel like it at times. For example, my girls bicker almost constantly and it’s become something that I’ve begun to take personally because I feel like they do it in spite of my requests for them to stop. It almost feels like a collateral act of defiance. I’m trying to step back and see the whole picture, take into consideration that maybe they’re going through something that I’m missing.
Which brings me to the entire point of this post. Children of all ages who are experiencing anxiety and how they express those feelings. My daughter has been suffering from chronic sinus issues for the last couple of years. This year, it has been particularly bad. She’s already had 5 sinus infections since the beginning of the school year. Per our pediatrician, she is on meds to control her allergies and prevent the subsequent sinus infections that follow any sort of congestion, but that no longer seems to be helping.
READ ALSO: Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words
It’s gotten so bad that she is getting migraines which, if you’ve ever had chronic sinus issues, you know, is debilitating. She’s starting to feel like she’s sick and she’s not getting better. She doesn’t understand and neither do I. We do what we’re supposed to. We go to the doctor. We follow her instructions and still my child is sick. Today, we are seeing a specialist, an allergist, because we have to get to the bottom of this.
We love our pediatrician and I trust doctors. I have close friends and family members who are doctors, so I have no problem with doctors. But when your child isn’t getting better, you have to advocate no matter who it is or whose feelings it might hurt. This is where I am today.
The thing is we’re at a point now where my daughters is in such pain that the thought of being at school with no one to help her sends her into a panic. Her anxiety kicks in and she is practically immobilized. I’m talking, gets to the office at school and goes into flight mode. The other day her sinus infection was so bad and she couldn’t be medicated because of tests, she cried for 3 hours in the nurse’s office before they called me to bring her home.
How can I send her to school when she is so obviously in pain and, on top of that, terrified of not knowing why it won’t go away. Which, I won’t lie, I am getting concerned myself. I’m thinking if this appointment with the specialist doesn’t give us answers, maybe we need an MRI. I won’t say that to my daughter and I can’t lead on that I’m more worried than she thinks I am. As her mom, it’s my job to keep my shit together while handling business on the backend.
READ ALSO: When You Just Need a Moment for Yourself
I’m trying to stay cool but I get why she is having this anxiety of the unknown. I try to keep her comfortable. I have chronic sinus and allergy issues too. I get migraines. I know how painful all of this is but when I’m sick, I have the luxury of burying myself in bed. When she’s sick, she still has to show up but lately, even when she’s showing up, she’s not really because she’s so preoccupied by the pain.
I guess what I’m saying is that sometimes kids and teens are not jerks just for the sake of being a pain in the butt. Most times, there is something behind it. Whether it be anger, worry, fear or embarrassment. Sometimes even teenagers can’t use their words to tell us how they’re feeling. They are like toddlers in that way.
They say things like, “I’m tired”, “My head hurts”, “My stomach hurts” all very non-specifically and for a parent that can be frustrating because you feel like maybe they are trying to get something over on you. A long time ago, I started going deeper on my questioning (once we rule out that it’s not an actual physical ailment) I ask, “has anything happened at school?”, “Did a friend say something that hurt your feelings?”, “Did a boy say something that made you feel weird?”, “Did a teacher get too close?” “Did anyone make you feel uncomfortable or compromised in any way?” Sometimes, the answers will come out without them having to find the words.
READ ALSO: Parents who Send Sick Kids to School are the Worst
But in this situation, my daughter is actually sick. I’ve been to the pediatrician so many times this year that I feel like I should get frequent flyer miles. I’m also not too sure they don’t have me on some weird mom Munchausen by proxy watch list. It’s embarrassing but every time I take her in, there is actually something wrong with her. So it’s not in either one of our heads. I know how to advocate for my children and I’ll do whatever I need to get them healthy but how do I help them deal with their anxiety?
As a mom, how do you differentiate between your child being legit run of the mill fear of something and having brain chemistry induced anxiety attack about it? One might only need a hug but the other might need a professional. What would you do if your teenage girl was experiencing anxiety while suffering a physical illness?
Update: Allergy tests showed that she is allergic to every Midwestern allergen except cats. We have a dog. The allergens are triggering sinus infections. If your kid keeps getting sinus infections, it might be worth a trip to the allergist. Also, I will write some posts next week to help your kids deal with sinus issues, give you the low down on allergy tests on kids and teens and the symptoms of anxiety in teenagers. Basically, I’ll help you understand the secret life of the American teenager. We’ll all get through this together.
2019/02/25
Holiday Recipes with a Healthy Twist
Disclosure: This is a compensated campaign in collaboration with National Dairy Council Fuel Up To Play 60 en español and Latina Bloggers Connect but all opinions on healthy holiday recipes are my own.
The holidays are here and everyone knows that the time between Halloween and New Year's day is all about celebrating, which means it's all about eating and drinking. We look forward to traditional family favorites like candy at Halloween, turkey at Thanksgiving, Tamales, Bunuelos and Rompope at Christmas and, of course, all the decadence and cocktails that New Year's Eve brings with it. It's the most delicious time of the year and also can be unhealthy but it doesn't have to be if you make those holiday recipes healthy. My theory is everything in moderation. If you are craving something and you completely ignore your body's craving, you will be left feeling unsatisfied and frustrated. But what if your body is craving 7 cocktails, a heaping helping of pumpkin pie with more than a dollop of whipping cream and tamales x4? Then what? Firstly portion control is a big part of staying healthy during the holidays. So why not use some of the tools provided by Fuel Up to Play 60 like Supertracker, which allows you to track your food and physical activity while setting goals and having access to the nutritional values of the food as well as target portion sizes. There is also the option of taking your favorite holiday dishes and drinks and making them healthier by swapping out less healthy ingredients for healthier options. For example, swapping out full fat cheeses for low fat cheeses, swapping out red meat for chicken or pork or instead of drinking 3 glasses of eggnog, limit yourself to one. Fuel Up to Play 60 and their new website (FuelUpToPlay60.com) is designed to help Latino students and their families to be active and make healthier dietary choices by providing relevant resources.
It will help you make your holiday recipes more healthy.
Fuel Up to Play 60 en Español aims to help Spanish-speaking students (and their families) create positive changes that increase opportunities for more active lifestyles. Parental diets and family physical activity habits often have an impact on children's lifestyles. Through take-home materials and opportunities for family involvement, Fuel Up to Play 60 goes beyond the classroom and into the community and homes of students to achieve the most effective results. If you're looking for a great holiday gift for the foodie with a nutritional conscience in your life, The Dairy Good Cookbook is a great option. It's full of delicious recipes and beautiful photography. Milk, cheese and yogurt not only taste great, but also are nutrient-rich, affordable, readily available and versatile; making dairy foods realistic options to help people build healthier meal plans. The book features more than 100 recipes that showcase the unique tastes and versatility of dairy – from cheese and yogurt to milk and butter. The book celebrates the nation's more than 47,000 dairy farm families and their commitment to their land, animals, commitment to community and their love of family. The Dairy Good Cookbook is available wherever books and ebooks are sold and retails for $25.00.
How do you keep your holiday recipes healthy?
2015/12/07
This Blogger’s Life … Jill Smokler
In celebration of my 5th year of blogging, I have decided to start a weekly series called This Blogger’s life.. featuring one amazing blogger each Friday. I will always ask the same 15 questions to all the bloggers.For my inaugural post I am interviewing my amazing friend and fellow blogger, Jill Smokler ( the force behind ScaryMommy.com).
This is how it will work, every Friday ( same bat time, same bat blog) I will be interviewing one of the many amazing women ( or men) on the internet. Those who inspire me, mentor me and even some of those bright new up and coming bloggers. The blogging world feels so small sometimes because we share some of the most intimate moments with one another; marriage, pregnancy, birth, labor, raising children, divorce, sex, fashion, travel, food and everything in-between. It’s the greatest tribe I’ve ever had.
I love conferences because it’s a giant hug fest amongst some of the women that know me best but there just never seems like enough time to hang out; to talk. So, I decided why not interview some of these amazing people, who I am proud and lucky to call my friends. So without further ado, I give you the inaugural
This Blogger’s Life…Jill Smokler aka Scary Mommy.
Why did you start blogging? March of 2008, I was home with three little kids and desperate for a hobby of my own. A friend started a blog and, on whim, I figured I’d try one, too. Never, ever thought it would last past a month or two.

What’s one piece of advice that you would give to a new blogger? To have fun; blogging starts as a hobby – very few people make decent money from it and those who do, certainly don’t immediately. If it’s feeling like a job or a burden, you’re missing the point.

What are the three words that describe you best? Stubborn, passionate, driven

What is your favorite website? My own. I mean, it better be, right?

What is your favorite thing to do when you’re not blogging? Walking on the beach with my kids, looking for shells. That’s my happy place.

What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about yourself from blogging? That my path in life is really up to me.

How do you balance life and blogging? Not very well, unfortunately. Since the time the site became my sole income, I’ve constantly been searching for that happy balance, but still don’t think I’ve found it. As a side hobby, it was easy, but as a job, never. I’m not sure you can ever truly balance life with work you’re passionate about, though – something always suffers.

How has blogging changed you or your life? Pretty early on, I realized that blogging could be the vehicle that allowed me to do something I enjoyed from home and not have to go back to an office job. I’m thankful every single day that it has allowed me that. The lifestyle isn’t easy, and I’m always working, but I’m working for me, doing something I love and I can still be the one to pick the kids up from school every day. None of that would have been possible without the blog.

What do you think makes a successful blog? A great blog? Are they one in the same? I think a great and successful blog is one that serves its purpose — if you set out to entertain your friends and family and do that, you’ve succeeded. If you want some fun freebies and perks and you get them, you’ve done it. If you want a record of your days with your kids, that’s a pretty awesome gift to give them. I think there are a million ways to have a successful blog, it just depends on how you define success.

If you were to stop blogging today, what would you do with the rest of your life? I can’t even imagine! Seriously. I’m stumped.

How do you balance telling your story, without telling the story of others in your life? The older my kids have gotten, the less I write about them for that very reason — their stories aren’t mine to share. It’s a tough road to navigate, though, and I’ve definitely learned the hard way that most people don’t appreciate being blog fodder.

Blogging has changed a lot, just since I started 5 years ago, what do you miss about blogging in the early days? What do you love that has changed? I miss the intimacy, I miss having time to visit all the blogs I care about and I miss the focus being on quality content rather than virality; sites like BuzzFeed and ViralNova drive me crazy. I do love that there’s much more acceptance of less than perfect sites than there used to be. It’s no longer taboo to admit not loving every second of motherhood and that’s definitely a win.

How do you consistently come up with relevant and shareable content? I’m lucky to have people send me content, because I certainly couldn’t do it alone!

If you could have a dinner party for 6 people, living or dead, who would you invite? Erma Bombeck, Hilary Clinton, Tina Fey, my grandmother, Mark Zuckerberg and Steve Jobs. Hello, random dinner party.

What’s the one thing that people would be surprised to learn about you? Years ago, I was offered a job to work at Martha Stewart Living – kind of the anti-Scary Mommy workplace.

What’s the one post that you are most proud of? Probably this one – It was the most raw I’ve ever felt, and I still sometimes go back and read the comments when I need a pick me up.
Thank you Jill for allowing me to interview you. You were one of the first blogs that I ever followed and you inspire me with your big heart and authentic voice. You always stay true to who you are. Thanks for always sharing your truth and being scary awesome. XOXO
Hope that you all enjoyed my first This Blogger’s Life interview with Jill and if you liked her here, go check her out at ScaryMommy.com or better yet share her hilarious series of Scary Mommy books with the moms in your life.
2014/05/09