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  • The Cruel Reality: ICE Targeting Immigrant Children for Deportation Under the Guise of “Welfare”

    The Cruel Reality: ICE Targeting Immigrant Children for Deportation Under the Guise of “Welfare”

    Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

    As the daughter of an immigrant and a mom, watching Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) agents conduct so-called “welfare checks” on unaccompanied immigrant children makes my blood boil. What’s presented as concern for child safety is revealed through internal documents to be something far more sinister: a coordinated effort to deport vulnerable children and criminalize the family members legally caring for them. ICE targeting immigrant children is wrong on every level. They’re children; regardless of color or race, it’s our responsibility to care for children.

    The Truth Behind ICE’s “Welfare Checks”

    Recent reports have confirmed that ICE is actively seeking out unaccompanied immigrant children in nationwide operations. While the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) claims these visits are benevolent “welfare checks” meant to “ensure that they are safe and not being exploited,” an internal ICE document obtained by the National Immigration Project tells a different story.

    The document explicitly shows that ICE officials are gathering intelligence to determine whether these children are “flight risks” or “threats to public safety.” Evaluating deportation possibilities, and looking for ways to pursue criminal cases against both the children and their sponsors. This isn’t protection—it’s persecution.

    Michelle Méndez, director of legal resources and training for the National Immigration Project, called it what it is: “backdoor family separation.” The government is weaponizing these children’s vulnerability to target entire immigrant communities.

    ICE targeting immigrant children for deportation is fucking bullshit. People are not “illegal,” especially in a country stolen from the indigenous and built on the backs of brown and black people.

    Let’s be crystal clear about what’s happening: this administration is deliberately traumatizing children who have already endured unimaginable hardships. Many of these kids fled violence, poverty, and persecution, traveling thousands of dangerous miles alone in search of safety. They’ve been processed through our immigration system. Placed with vetted sponsors (often family members), and are working through their legal cases as required by our laws.

    Now, ICE agents are showing up at their homes, terrifying them with threats of deportation or criminal charges. A 16-year-old girl in Washington state was so frightened during one of these “welfare checks” that she desperately messaged her legal representative, afraid her life would be “flipped upside down.” This isn’t protecting children—it’s traumatizing them.

    Systemic Attacks on Vulnerable Communities

    These operations don’t exist in isolation. They’re part of a broader pattern of attacks on immigrant communities:

    1. Legal services for unaccompanied minors have been slashed, despite court intervention
    2. The Office of Refugee Resettlement (ORR) has resumed sharing sensitive data about children and their sponsors with ICE
    3. The current acting director of ORR is Angie Salazar, a former ICE agent
    4. Children with alleged “gang ties” are being targeted using flimsy evidence under the rarely-used 1798 Alien Enemies Act

    The concept of “backdoor family separation” is just a way to use immigrant people’s love for their children to threaten them. No Latino is ever leaving their child behind. These are human beings, and the U.S. government is treating them like property, completely dehumanizing these parents and their children in order for fellow Americans to condone this mass deportation of brown people. It’s a crime against humanity. Americans, we need to do what’s right even when its hard.

    The Human Impact

    For families caring for these children, these operations create an atmosphere of constant fear. Sponsors who went through extensive background checks and vetting processes to legally care for these children now face potential arrest and deportation for doing exactly what the government asked them to do. WTF? It feels like a trap and serves as a threat to others; stand down or you too might get illegally deported.

    Shaina Aber, executive director of the Acacia Center for Justice, expressed her distress: “The amount of trauma that this administration seems willing to put kids through is really upsetting.”

    Samuel Smith, director of immigrant legal aid at Manzanita House, described the terrified 16-year-old girl who contacted him during an ICE visit: “Both the text messages sent and the tone of communication when talking on the phone, was of a child who was incredibly scared. She had no idea what was going on and was worried that her life would be flipped upside down.”

    A Personal Perspective

    As someone who grew up watching my immigrant parent navigate this country’s complicated and often hostile systems, I understand the constant fear that comes with being seen as “other.” The worry that a knock on the door might mean your family being torn apart. The vigilance required to survive in a system designed to exclude you. In this political climate, even when you’ve done everything right and are here with proper paperwork, you still carry with you that feeling of being vulnerable and scared.

    These children have done nothing wrong. They are following the legal processes established by our own government. Their sponsors—often family members who simply want to provide a safe home—are being criminalized for acts of love.

    There’s a particular cruelty in targeting children. They are the most vulnerable and the least able to advocate for themselves. They’re the most likely to suffer lasting trauma from these experiences. ICE is deliberately exploiting this vulnerability.

    What This Really Means

    Let’s be honest about what’s happening here ICE is targeting immigrant children. This isn’t about protecting children. If it were, we’d be investing in their legal representation and their education. We’d care about their mental health services, and their successful integration into communities.

    Instead, this administration has cut legal services and appointed former ICE officials to lead the agency responsible for these children’s care. The intent is clear: to use fear as a deterrent. They want to make examples of these children. Advancing a political agenda that views certain immigrants as inherently undesirable.

    As Americans, we must ask ourselves: Is this who we want to be? A nation that terrorizes children? That separates families? That punishes acts of love and compassion?

    For the daughter of an immigrant watching this unfold, the answer is a resounding “hell no”. We must be and do better than this. These children deserve better than this. Our shared humanity demands it.

  • How Ordering Lilly Pulitzer Changed my Life

    How Ordering Lilly Pulitzer Changed my Life

    I scored some Lilly Pulitzer yesterday. You know how they say happiness comes from within? Well, I never really understood that statement until this weekend. For the first time, in a long time, I felt confident. I love the bold and beautiful Lilly Pulitzer prints and I went for it. How could that happiness not belong in my wardrobe?

    Don’t worry; I didn’t come to fisticuffs with any other moms at my local Target because there is nothing worth fighting that hard over except for my dreams and my children’s lives. I got mine online by stalking my prey and waiting patiently. I simply decided that if it were meant to be, I’d get it. If not, I wouldn’t. It’s that simple. I’ve been embracing this more relaxed attitude lately. If you know me, you know I’m usually the much more uptight type. I’m a known helicopter mom and control freak; a heart attack waiting to happen, if you will.

    I woke up last Friday morning and went to my Weight Watchers meeting, because you all know how much I love to get weighed by a stranger. Not my favorite thing to do but a necessary evil if I want to change my fat girl walking status.. It’s been a month since I started attending meetings again. I have lost a grand total (drumroll, please) of 9 pounds and 18.5 inches. I don’t really see a difference but I certainly feel a difference. Clothes are starting to get a little loose and mentally, I am feeling a lot better about me.

    David's Bridal, Lilly PUlitzer, Vera Wang, Diary of a Fat Girl, weight loss, Weight Watchers

    After my meeting, I decided to bite the bullet and go get measured for my bridesmaid dress for my sister’s wedding. If you have ever been over weight, you know that I had been dreading this for months (the fitting not the dress). I put it off for as long as I could but I just couldn’t keep stressing my sister out. It’s one thing when my weight keeps me from doing stuff that I want to do but I refuse to let it impede in anyone I love’s life. This is why I still put on my bathing suit to hit the pool even though wearing bathing suits in public is the worst.

    I went by myself to the bridal shop so that I didn’t take out my frustrations on my husband or the girls. To my surprise, for the first time in probably 20 years, I realized that I felt sexy in something and not fat. I had forgotten what feeling “sexy” even felt like. But I can tell you today that nothing sets your soul on fire like feeling better than good in your own skin.

    David's Bridal, Lilly PUlitzer, Vera Wang, Diary of a Fat Girl, weight loss, Weight Watchers

    The thing is usually getting weighed, getting fitted for a bridesmaid dress and ordering clothes are all things that stress me out because they all make me painfully aware of how heavy I am but something switched in me that morning and I’ve been in this intoxicatingly high mood since. I’m happy.

    I spent the entire weekend waiting for the feeling to dissipate but I just kept feeling better and better in my own skin. What I’m sure is my standard resting bitch face has been replaced with resting big dumb grin and I can’t do a thing about it. This is weird for me.

    See the last time I felt “sexy” in my own skin was when I was smack dab in the middle of eating disorders. Back then, my sexy meter was skewed and it was more of a control high. I felt sexy because I was satisfying some weird need to punish myself and when I stayed within the parameters of what I’d set for myself, I rewarded myself by giving myself permission to feel attractive but it was nothing compared to this natural state of happiness that I am experiencing right now. I do realize that this all sounds weird.

    Anyways, as I was sitting at my laptop, checking the size chart for the Lilly Pulitzer and realizing that I did not need plus size anything, it hit me that I could not feel my stomach on my lap. God, I’m embarrassed to even type those words but it’s a big deal. The whole stomach thing, and believe me if you have this situation going on you totally understand, has been making me feel so depressed. It was the physical representation of the beginning of the end for me. Every time I sat down, I was reminded of just how fat and out of shape I was.

    After I cleared the tears from my eyes because my “FUPA” is slowly vanishing, I ordered myself the regular sized XL jumpsuit from Lilly Pulitzer and I can’t wait to wear it. I’m sick of letting my weight dictate what I can and can’t do. I want to hold on to this strange and unfamiliar feeling of being comfortable in my own skin. I don’t want it to end.

    I know 9 pounds is not a lot in the grand scheme of things, ordering an XL rather than 1X is not a big deal and not feeling my stomach in my lap are all very subtle changes but they add up. They add up to changing my life in a very positive way and that is huge.

    What little changes do you want to make to your life to make you happier?

    Show of hands, who else will be rocking the Lilly Pulitzer this season?

     

    P.S. My first byline at LatinaMom.me is live and I would love if you would check out my article Why I Shaved my 7-Year-Old’s Arms.

  • When to Worry about Skipping a Period

    When to Worry about Skipping a Period

    There’s nothing quite so terrifying to a woman over 40 than unintentionally skipping a period because it means one of two things, either you’re unexpectedly pregnant or you’re perimenopausal; neither option is very appealing to me at this point in my life. (more…)

  • Misogyny the Great White Hope of Rio Olympics

    The Rio Olympics are in full swing and so is the misogyny. What if we talked about male Olympians the way we talk about female Olympians?Unfortunately, hate to say it but this week’s Throat Punch Thursday has to go to all the misogynistic men out there. No, I’m not talking to you good feminist men. You’ve got this shit handled. You understand that women are equal. You want a partner, not a slave.  You see women as people, for that I commend you.

    That’s right, in this day and age, I still have to commend men who are not blind and have respect for fellow human beings because misogyny is still that rampant in our society. It happens on a daily basis, even more so than all of these police shootings of black men lately.

    Aww, thank you smartphones for allowing us to reveal to the world the asshatery that plagues us. P.S. You KNOW that the twits that are shooting black men are the same sort of men who are dismissing the value of women. It’s a classic case of if you are not a white man, you really aren’t human in their eyes.

    I still haven’t figured out the hierarchy though. Are black men higher up the rung or lower than women? I guess I’ll never know, being a minority woman. I’ll always be on the bottom. Lucky for you, I have a big mouth, so you’ll never forget I’m down there and you’ll always hear me. Squeaky wheel, party of all women and minorities please.

    Anyways, so there have been misogynistic attacks on Hillary Clinton and Melania Trump because apparently being a woman is a liability. Having a vagina in the world puts a target on your back and it becomes a free fall for men to exploit any semblance of femininity you have as an inherent characteristic flaw.

    What Melania being naked has to do with the kind of president Donald Trump would be makes no sense at all. I think he leaked it to let her take the fall for his obvious shortcomings. You know, if you’re certain that you’re going to lose an election why not blame the wife? And there have been so many crazy things said about Hillary that I can’t even list them. One of the worst, being the first woman to ever be elected as a presidential nominee and having the cover story photo be of a man. What the f*ck?

    But then there are the Olympics, one amazing female athlete after another crushing it but do we give them credit? Nope, we reduce them to feminine stereotypes or attribute their success to their husbands. Firstly, gold medal gymnasts are highly evolved athletes not bubble gum smacking teeny boppers at the mall. These young ladies have poured hours of their lives, their very childhood, into becoming super athletes don’t trivialize their achievements or their sacrifices.

    Also, when a woman wins a medal, don’t attribute the medal to the man she is married to. She’s the one who did the work. She’s the one who earned her spot. She’s the one who trained and made the sacrifices. Give her the glory. I don’t give a fuck what football team her husband plays for or if he helped train her. Do we give credit to Michael Phelps fiancé and coach every time he medals? Why do we have to undermine these women’s achievements? Does it make men feel better that they can take credit for our successes?

    What’s next, commentary on fashion and how the female athlete’s bodies look in their outfits? Oh wait, I’ve already seen a thousand dirty comments about wanking to the women’s volleyball team. Have some respect people. Women are people too! A gold medalist is a gold medalist is a bad ass and her accomplishments should not be reduced to another pat on the back for the man in her life.

  • 5 Time Management Tips for Busy Moms

    5 Time Management Tips for Busy Moms

    Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

    Being a parent is hard in ways that people never tell you about; in ways that you couldn’t even have imagined. From juggling work (Yes, mama got a full-time job as a Marketing Director and going back after being OOO for 17 years is effing hard), managing your home ( I’m trying my best to manage the tornado disaster that is lived in and loved by two active teenagers and two rambunctious dogs), and taking care of your kids’ physical and emotional needs, being a modern mom or dad involves a lot of hard work and dedication.

    About 97% of young Millennial and Gen X mothers and fathers often feel burned out by parenthood. As a mom, it’s very easy to lose track of time when you are busy handling multiple tasks. There aren’t enough hours in a day, and it can feel very frustrating and stressful not being able to get everything done. But that doesn’t mean your life has to be that way. This post will help you find ways to manage your time better while allowing you to also do the things you love. Without wasting any more of your precious time, here are some top time-management tips for busy moms.

    Top time-management tips for busy moms

    Have a schedule and stick to it

    As a mom, you’ve probably questioned how quickly time runs. You wake up early, get breakfast, get your family ready for their days, do chores, work, and prepare them for bed at night. It seems like an endless cycle of doing the same things repeatedly and when you through a full-time job into the mix it sometimes feels impossible. Having such a routine can make you lose out on some productive hours. Instead, why not create a daily or weekly schedule (ToDoList is my favorite app ever) that you and your family can follow? During one of your rare quiet moments, you can draw up a list of everyone’s activities and put them in a planner. Fortunately, there are several online planners that everyone in your household can access and stay on top of their tasks and activities. 

    Learn to delegate

    Yes, you’re a mom, and while most moms are amazing at multitasking, you’re still human. That means you’ll also burn out and want a break and some much-needed rest. You cannot do it all, so you must learn how to delegate. If you have a partner, you must learn to share your responsibilities. Also, if you have older kids, you can delegate certain tasks to get them involved. Delegating these responsibilities lifts the weight off your shoulders and gives you enough time to attend to other matters.

    So, what can you do? Set up a family meeting to discuss how everyone can play important roles at home. You can set up a chart and delegate different responsibilities to each family member. Ensure that the entire family is clear on the rules and agrees to any schedules. Once this has been established, you will begin to find time for things. 


    Shop online

    One of the best things about online shopping is that it saves you time and makes life much easier. Instead of spending hours traveling from home to your local grocery store and back, you can do it in the comfort of your home. With online shopping, you will still have access to a wide range of products that make it easier to compare prices just as you would in a physical store. And even better, most online shops offer amazing discounts and offers to make it better to buy in bulk. However, be forewarned you can easily spend more than you do at Target because it’s just too easy.

    But it’s not just groceries you can get for your family. You can also order your family’s medications online. Most local pharmacies offer online services for your NHS prescriptions and other medications, so it’s definitely worth a try.


    Buy your time

    There are times when it’s just impossible for both you and your partner to get out of tight and busy schedules. What do you do when you have other responsibilities preventing that? You must pay for additional help. Paying for extra help can set you back a couple of dollars, but it is worth it. You can outsource chores such as cooking and cleaning. I’d highly recommend this just to give yourself a break. You are already doing so much. If you have younger kids, you can enroll them into a good daycare or hire a babysitter for those busy days. You can also ask your parents or trusted friends to help you out when you are in a bind. 

    Make time for yourself

    Juggling various responsibilities can take its toll on your physical and mental health. You might also lose your sense of identity after spending years placing everyone’s needs above yours. That’s why it’s important to carve out personal time where you can unwind and relax. Ask for support from your partner and use this break to do the things you love to do. It could be catching up on your hobbies, visiting a friend, or pampering yourself at the spa. 

    With these simple and effective time-management tips, you can better manage your schedule and still make time for yourself. Don’t forget to ask for help when you need it.  

  • Throat Punch Thursday; Taking it up the rear edition

    Disclaimer: Dear readers if anyone is easily offended, faint of heart, or just doesn’t like opinionated, foul language laced, bad behavior please step away from this post. Please do not walk….run! I love you all and do not want to offend.Be warned, some opinions stated within may be alarming and may even crush your dreams and ideas….forever.

    As I am sure you are all very aware, the whole Gulf oil spill situation has gotten completely out of hand. I know there have been other spills all over the world. I am not so naive as to not recognize that big oil companies have been doing this shit all over the world. It’s just a little more damn apparent when it is in our own backyard or ocean, as the case may be.I don’t know about you, but I am starting to feel like the American people are getting all kinds of lip service and then..BAM, bend over bitch..right up the rear! No warning, no bargaining, no KY just BAM!!! Last week I had to give the weekly throat punch to  Hayward and Obama. This week, after hearing the incredulous bullshit that fell out of our President’s mouth. I had to give it to him and him alone.He can take his throat punch all by himself. Why, You ask? Well, it had something to do with  this and a lot to do with this: “I have established a National Commission to understand the causes of this disaster and offer recommendations on what additional safety and environmental standards we need to put in place.” A fucking commission!I don’t know about you but I’m feeling condescended to lately. It’s like a parent trying to pacify a child in mid tantrum, saying anything ( basically a whole lot of nothing) just to calm them down with no intention of keeping whatever crazy promise they made to get the damn crazy kid to shut the hell up in Target! What the fuck is there to understand? It’s been explained to death. Were you not paying attention? Are you deaf? BP is a bunch of fucking assholes who cut corners, they blew some shit up, killed 11 people (immediately), who knows the true extent of the collateral damage, there is oil rushing into the Gulf and strangling all of the creatures of the ocean, people’s livelihoods are being ruined, and the planet is generally being destroyed…oh yeah and YOU are sitting on your ass watching it all happen!Understand? There, you don’t need any damn commission I just recapped. Give me the commission money, better yet..give it to the GULF and clean it the fuck up NOW !! HURRY UP!!! Now, go eat some more of that Gulf seafood that you were trying to get your constituents to eat. ABout that, what are you Jim Jones? Is Gulf Seafood the American people’s Kool aid? Jumpin Jehosephat, are you fucking retarded? No offense to any retarded people who may be reading this!
    So, I am once again bestowing my special edition Doc Marten wearing roundhouse kick to your throat, face ,and testicles to the ONLY fucking idiot who can not figure this shit out! Dude, I was your biggest fan and now I have to hang my head in shame. I am ridiculed by all those who love me because of my poor choices at election time. I was so proud, so boastful and now shame! Thanks a LOT!!!! I can feel it, they are coming to revoke my Political scientist credentials because of this faux pas.Shit man, we put our faith in you and you have abandoned us. Yes we can….The question is , CAN YOU?

    Now, back to our regularly scheduled programming! Happy Mothering!

  • Pret a Manger Grilled Ham and Cheese Recipe

    Pret a Manger Grilled Ham and Cheese Recipe

    Last week, we were eating our way through Boston and falling in love with a grilled ham and cheese sandwich like no other. We love Boston. I love the rich history and the big city vibe. I love the friendly people and the smell of salt air and food trucks. In fact, there is nothing that I don’t love about Boston.  The girls love to eat and shop their way through Boston and the Big Guy, well, when his girls are happy; he’s happy.

    Unfortunately, for the first three days of this year’s annual Boston trip, I was sick sick. Like running a fever, eat a bite of your dinner, cry sick. Thank God and the Boston Hyatt Regency for a comfortable bed and a beautiful view or none of us would have survived the ordeal.

    But by day 3, come hell or high water, I’d promised the girls I’d make the 3-minute walk through the Hyatt Lobby that was connected to Macy’s, out the door and across the street to Primark. My girls are legit crazy for that place. Hey, I can’t blame them. I love a good bargain on cute clothes too.

    However, in the time it took me to walk to Primark, I had gone sheet white and was covered in cold sweats. I was seriously going to pass out. Did I mention that Primark is 4 stories tall? The girls were in heaven. It really is a tween/ teen girls shopping mecca. I tried to last as long as they needed me to be upright but once I started to hear the blood rushing around my head, I knew it was time to get out and find some food.  At that point, I had consumed a total of maybe 1 bite of aforementioned sandwich, a granola bar and 3 cheez-its in 72 hours.

    READ ALSO: The Ultimate Monte Cristo Recipe

    We headed to Pret a Manger. It was our first time but hey, “ready to eat” to a woman about to pass out in public sounds like the best place to be. The girls could see that I was fading fast so we headed to the selection and made our choices; chicken noodle soup for me, a grilled ham and cheese for each girl, a couple of iced chai lattes for the girls and some fruit because mama was in desperate need of some vitamin C.

    We paid, got the heck out of dodge before mama went timber and returned to our hotel room. No sooner had I relinquished 2/3 of my soup to the girls before I heard “oohs” and “ahhhs” explode from the other side of the room, like fireworks. I couldn’t imagine what basic option I had just purchased in my haste that was making my children lose their minds. It was the grilled ham and cheese, btw.

    It’s hard for me to understand as ham generally turns my stomach inside out. In fact, the very thought of the smell of it makes me want to heave. They begged me to try a bite but seeing as this 1/3 of a cup of chicken noodle soup was the first thing I’d been able to keep down in 3 days, I graciously declined their offer.

    READ ALSO: Red, White, and Blueberry Trifle

    But they couldn’t stop talking about this Pret a Manger magically delicious grilled ham and cheese sandwich. In fact, they insisted on having it again that night for dinner. As we have no Pret a Manger anywhere near us, I made it might mission to figure out how to make this magical sandwich. I mean, dang, I want them to rave about my cooking like that.

    I scoured the Internet and did some sleuthing and found the recipe for the Pret a Manger grilled ham and cheese sandwich. Well, everything except the secret sauce that is. But you know me, I figured that out too! So guess what my girls have been having for lunch every single day since we got home from vacation? Mommy’s Pret a Manger copycat grilled ham and cheese sandwich recipe. Made with love, by yours truly.  It’s so good that all the “oooohs” and “aaahhhhs” at my own kitchen counter convinced me to take a bite and guess what? It truly is magically delicious.

    So if you are sick of your kids asking what’s for lunch and then replying that they don’t want “that” again or you’re just plain chicken nuggeted out, I’ve got the super-secret recipe for you. My gift from me to every mom on the planet.

    Ingredients

    2 slices of sourdough bread

    1 slice of Vermont white cheddar cheese

    1-2 slices of your favorite thick sliced ham (my girls love wildflower honey ham)

     

    *shhhh secret sauce ingredients

    1 tablespoon of mayonnaise

    1-2 teaspoons of whole ground Dijon mustard (depending on your personal preference)

     

    Directions:

    Mix secret sauce ingredients together in a small bowl.

    Pret a manger, grilled ham and cheese recipe, copycat recipe, Pret copycat recipe, lunch recipe

    Heat small frying pan to medium heat

    Assemble sandwich

    Slather one piece of bread with the secret sauce

    Pret a manger, grilled ham and cheese recipe, copycat recipe, Pret copycat recipe, lunch recipe

    Top with ham and then cheddar.

    Pret a manger, grilled ham and cheese recipe, copycat recipe, Pret copycat recipe, lunch recipe

    Pret a manger, grilled ham and cheese recipe, copycat recipe, Pret copycat recipe, lunch recipe

    Add top piece of sourdough.

    Pret a manger, grilled ham and cheese recipe, copycat recipe, Pret copycat recipe, lunch recipe

    Butter both sides of the sandwich.

    Pret a manger, grilled ham and cheese recipe, copycat recipe, Pret copycat recipe, lunch recipe

    When the pan is hot, place the sandwich in the pan.

    Lower heat.

    Cover sandwich with lid (to help melt cheese).

    Pret a manger, grilled ham and cheese recipe, copycat recipe, Pret copycat recipe, lunch recipe

    Toast to your liking.

    Flip.

    Repeat.

    When cheese is melted, remove from heat.

    Cut in half and serve warm.

  • Elf on A Shelf run Amuck

    elf, elf on a shelf, christmas, holidays

    Elf on a Shelf Run Amuck~ Last year, we  I decided that I wanted to start the whole Elf on the Shelf tradition with my girls.Of course, once I saw what the Elf on the Shelf actually looked like, there was no way I was bringing that thing into my house.It would have scared the Christmas spirit right out of my girls. Thoughts of them sleeping with me nightly until they were 15 danced in my head and I nixed the Elf ( jokes on me because they are currently co-sleepers!) I wasn’t ready to abandon the entire idea, just that particular elf. You know me, I went on a quest until a could locate 2 more aesthetically pleasing elves. I acknowledge that I am so conforming to society’s idea of beauty. Shame on me.The girls were 2 and 4 and, let’s be honest, I needed a new bargaining chip.The fat guy threats just weren’t cutting it anymore. I needed something more tangible, not a threat of 1 day of the entire year. My girls are fairly certain that Santa is like God in the respect that he forgives..everything. But elves, well, those little bastards can be as vicious as Mommy wants them to be. Those little dudes are Santa’s henchmen; they bust kneecaps and bite ankles. And so began the tradition..in our home.

    Anyone who knows the Big Guy and I know that, in most respects, we don’t half-ass anything when it comes to our girls, with the exception of when we are dropping the ball completely. Sky’s the limit, to infinity and beyond and all that bullshit. So, our elves ( yes, there are 2, one for each girl…its hard work wrangling babies) are sent via Air mail from the North Pole. You doubt me? Hey, there is postage paid and everything..even teeny tiny holes in the box so those minuscule Northern mafioso enforcers can breathe. Our elf on a shelf #1 and elf on a shelf #2 arrive with a letter from Santa explaining all ( yes, by now you should all be fully aware that we take everything just one step too far).

    elf, elf on a shelf, christmas, holidays

    Elf on A Shelf #1 has arrived

    This year, Analee ( that’s the name since “someone’ forgot to remove the tag from the elf) arrived magically,a s if out of thin air.One day he was not here and the next, there he sat high in the Christmas tree, watching,waiting to be discovered.Keeping watch over my girls as they shouted and fought.And then it happened, Gabs made her way to touch her Clara ornament(you know the special one that she is forbidden to touch) and as her eyes rose from the ornament there perched 3/4s of the way up the tree, Analee.Gab’s let out a yelp. Then said nothing. She slyly made her way to her sister, who screamed and immediately ran to greet our old friend.She was all flushed and hyperventilating trying to get the words out of her mouth, the proclamation that “Analee” was back. Santa had sent him to watch over them. I feigned surprise and said hello. Then it was bedtime. A few days later, after many hours of Bella standing in front of the Christmas tree explaining away every transgression that she had levied against her sister (literally, I found her no less than 15 times talking to the elf on a shelf…explaining that Gabs made her do it and to tell Santa..it was Gabs, I tell you.All Gabs!) a package arrived in the mail.

    Elf on a Shelf #2 reporting for Recon duty

    The girls saw the brightly decorated box and knew instantly what the package contained. They gently placed it on the floor, in front of the fireplace ( there is a great amount of reverence given to the elves) and peeled the packaging back. Inside, they found a letter from Santa and the jolly smile of “Ed”, sent back by Santa to report for another year of duty in our household. The girls gasped. They love the elves but they are afraid to touch them, not even with a ten foot pole. Well, Bella is anyways.Gabs actually midget tossed poor Ed out of her room on his ear today when she was having a particularly hard time fighting a nap.Poor Ed!But that’s an entirely different post. I was asked to place Ed somewhere, because, silly you, elves don’t run around in front of humans during day light hours.Bella has a theory that she shared with me the other day.It goes a little something like this: Bella” Mommy, how do the elves tell Santa what we’re doing?” Me:”Well, Bella, the elves are magical so they just pop back over to Santa and give him a daily report.” She looks slightly perturbed and confused.Bella:’Mommy, why don’t they just call him?” Me:”Well, Bella they can magically just pop back to Santa, why waste the minutes?”(I’m slightly exasperated.This lie has gotten too big,You know I can’t lie!)Bella: “Mommy?” Me;”Yes?”Bella: “Mommy,  I think Santa has secret cameras in the house and can see everything we do!”I’m speechless.After all, she is only 5 years old.First, she has rationalized the Tooth Fairy and now elves with spy cams? Me:”No,Bella.they.pop.back. to .Santa.every.night!”

    elf, elf on a shelf, christmas, holidays
    This  letter from Santa makes me cry, a little bit.It choked me up reading it to the girls.

    Every night, I move the elves to different positions and to different random spots in throughout the house; the bathroom ( taking a poop, surprise Ed’swatching), eating breakfast (Surprise Analee is in the chair next to you),putting your clothes in the hamper (Be careful you’ll squish Ed), reaching for the milk ( oooh, poor Ed is chilly in the fridge..no sneaking candy!)turn on the fireplace (oh no,be careful Analee is getting hot under the collar).You get the point?

     

    elf, elf on a shelf, christmas, holidays

    And so starts another year of the mischievousness that is the elf visitors.Elf on a shelf my ass, those little suckers are running all over my house. It scares my girls that our little visitors wield so much power in their tiny hands.They are roaming free, recording every single scream, yell, hair pull, piss my sister off moment/ talk back to my Mommy, fighting my bedtime, not going to eat my asparagus moment that goes down in our house..and apparently, so are Santa’s spy cams!So, remember you better watch out, you better not pout,you better not cry, I’m telling you why..Santa’s sending his henchmen to rat on you!Happy Christmas and beware the elf on a shelf!

    elf, elf on a shelf, christmas, holidays

    Elf on a shelf saves the Day

  • Self-Worth~I’m No beauty Queen,I’m Just Beautiful Me

    Self-Worth~I’m No beauty Queen,I’m Just Beautiful Me

    Today, I’m linking up my Self-Worth post @ Ciaomom.com. I stumbled across her link up as, one by one, all of my Twitter friends were sharing it. Of course, I wanted to know what all the excitement was about and then I read her post and I knew. In a world full of self-doubt and deprecation, she is spreading the idea of self-love and self-worth. Can you imagine?

    Self-Worth

    I am the Mommy of two daughters and my biggest fear in the WORLD is that they will follow in my footsteps down a path of self-doubt and poor body image. In my teens, like most girls, I was very unsure of my place in the world. I was tall before any of the boys in my middle school. Then puberty hit and all the body changes that accompany. In a matter of a summer, I went from the cute, smart girl with the big almond eyes to being an amazon by middle school standards, breakouts, breast buds, braces, body hair, hips and being extremely uncomfortable in this new foreign body. 8th grade was a hard year for me. I no longer tried to stand out for excellence, I wanted to be invisible. I was afraid that if someone saw me they would notice (or worse) point out my flaws.

    It didn’t help that my parents were both in great shape. My dad was very athletic and, once puberty started for me, he had the habit of telling me that I “needed” to run more. In my head, I heard ” You are not good enough yet, you need to run so that you can be perfect and worthy of love“. This plants a seed of self-loathing. Have I told you how much I hate running to this day? My already uncomfortable place in my new skin became unbearable. By the time I left for college, I was so afraid of the Freshman 15 that everyone had been sure to warn me of that I was resigned to subsist on the least amount of calories possible. 17, that was the age I was when I started on my 8 year battle with anorexia/bulimia. I never binged and purged. Never. I was a perfectionist. I starved myself to about 600 calories a day and then I vomited it all up. Everything, even water. If it went into my mouth, it came out almost immediately after. The very thought of food in my stomach was enough stress mentally to make me vomit involuntarily. It left me feeling NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

    But this is not what I want for my girls. I want them to have an exorbitant amount of self-confidence, self-esteem and most importantly

    Self-Worth

    To do this, I have to lead by example so here is my list of what I love about myself ( after years of therapy and self-understanding:)

    I love those big, crazy almond eyes of mine because I can see and cherish my daughters’ daily

    I love my voice because it sings to my girls and speaks to those I love

    I love my hair, it’s curly and sometimes straight and it’s beautiful

    I love my strength of character because it has helped me to survive my past and go after my future

    I love my resolve because it helped me overcome 8 years of eating disorder

    I love my intelligence and wisdom to know what I can change and what I can not (even when it’s hard to accept).

    I love my laugh, it’s loud and crazy like Ricky Ricardo but it is authentic and when you hear it; my heart is happy

    I love my body for allowing me to conceive, grow and birth my children

    I love my wit and humor which has allowed me to keep perspective

    I love my personality that has landed me my wonderful husband ( of course the 25-year-old tits and ass didn’t hurt either:)

    I love my uncanny knack to assess a situation, size up people and never back down from anything

    I love that I don’t know the word quit

    I love that I am so socially charged that I am NEVER uncomfortable in a group, in fact, I thrive amongst people

    I love that I am honest to a fault

    I love that I am genuine

    I love that I love with the same faith in people that I have in God

    I love that I can forgive and move past circumstances

    I love that I have grown to love my own skin for all that it’s worth ( I still battle the body dysmorphic disorder) but even on days when my eyes are unhappy with the mirror, my mind knows better.

    I love that I am not perfect but I am worth it. To quote Selena Gomez ( yeah I have kids…busted), I’m no beauty queen, I’m just beautiful me and that is better than good enough. And today, “I WOULDN’T WANT TO BE ANYONE ELSE!” Where does your self-worth come from?

    Self-Worth

     

  • How to Create the Coziest House on the Block this Holiday Season + 15% Off Wayfair Promo Code

    How to Create the Coziest House on the Block this Holiday Season + 15% Off Wayfair Promo Code

    A house is four walls and a roof but a home is your soft place to land. When the Big Guy and I bought the house we currently live in, we knew we wanted some place to make our own; that felt lived in, welcoming and not sterile and brand new. Don’t get me wrong, new builds are amazing, our first two homes were new builds but for all that new shiny house smell, they felt sterile, there were no mature trees and it took a lot to fill them to give them character; to make them ours. For those who are  wondering, we found our ideal house just like the houses for sale near me, thanks to PenFed Realty. You can also check out PenFed Realty for more home listings.

    The house we live in now is definitely a work in progress. It is almost as old as I am, built in ’77 but from the moment we walked in to the place, we could see past the paneling and fixture updates to the potential; hosting Thanksgiving dinners, birthday parties for years to come, Halloweens spent trick or treating with neighborhood friends and waking up Christmas morning. I could see my girls walking down those stairs all dreamy eyed and imagine them lighting up when they saw what Santa had brought. I could see all of it. It was the house, I wished I’d grown up in. Still, it wasn’t “our” house.

    We’ve updated fixtures and appliances; we’ve painted walls, torn out closets, and used powder coating dublin for our aluminum doors and window frames. We’ve laid down wood flooring, removed paneling and replaced cabinetry. We got the cabinets from Unique Vanities. We’ve changed the very landscape of the home, to modernize it without losing that cozy feeling. There is nothing quite like a brand new lush shag carpet for kids to lay on in the movie room floor. Still, something was missing.

    home decor,wayfair, pillows, poufs, throws

    I’ve always wanted my house to be a place that family and friends feel at home in like some of the best single family homes I’ve seen on the internet. I want it clean and stylish but I don’t want it to feel like a museum. Life is meant for living and I think waiting for special occasions is overrated. I want my girls to know that life is meant to be experienced every single day.

    I’ve never been the mom who says “you can’t play/wear/ use with that” because, in my mind, if I buy a toy, piece of jewelry, clothing, furniture, whatever it may be…I bought it with people enjoying it in mind, not for it to set in a cabinet or closet collecting dust because then what’s the point? Then I’ve wasted money and chances at happiness. Nobody should ever waste chances at happiness. When you die, nobody’s going to remember the perfect condition your furniture was in or how fancy your dishes were, they are going to remember how you made them feel when they were with you, in your home.

    So, how do I make the house we live in feel homey? For me, it’s all about comfort. I like nice things and I especially like them if they are comfortable and comforting. Making your house fragrant with scented wax melts is a huge factor as well. I’ve found the easiest way to make a house feel inviting is to make people feel at home when they are there and that can be done very easily with comfort items like pillows, poufs, and throws. Combined with our sofa and table set in the background, it looks so inviting. Oh, my! Yes, I just bought that table set and I’m loving it! Here’s a site to buy living room table sets. You’ll not regret it!

    wayfair, pillows, poufs, throws, home decor

    As a family, we spend most of our family time in the movie room because when given the choice, you always watch movies on a big screen while cuddling on a cozy sectional. So, I’ve made it my mission to make it the coziest room on the planet so I’ve been looking at all things comfy and now I’d like your help choosing which pieces I should add.

    wayfair, pillows, poufs, throws

     

    Moe’s Home Collection Lamb Fur Wool Pillow 

     

    wayfair, pillows, poufs, throws

    Surya Ruffle and Frill Pillow

     

    wayfair, pillows, poufs, throws

    WovenWorkz Charlotte Ruffled Acrylic Throw

     

    wayfair, pillows, poufs, throws Cashmere Collection Cashmere and Merino Wool Throw

     

    wayfair, pillows, poufs, throwsIkram Design Moroccan Leather Pouf Ottoman

     

    wayfair, pillows, poufs, throws

    Mi-Zone Madison Park Kelsey Round Pouf Ottoman

    But wait, just for you, Wayfair is offering a promo code that will run from November 20 through November 24th for 15% off ANY Pillow, Pouf or Throw. The code is: WFPTP15

    Which pieces do you think would add the coziest feel to the room? How do you make your home cozy for the holidays?

    Disclosure: I am a Wayfair ambassador and  this is a compensated post but, as always,  all opinions are my own.

    Alexandra Ferguson “Be Nice or Leave” Decorative Pillow