The TRUTH About Motherhood

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Maggie Goes On A Diet~The Consequence
Last week, I wrote an article about the Kramer book Maggie Goes On a Diet. It’s an open wound sort of topic for me with my sensitivity about this subject but mostly I am bothered by the probability of the damage that will be caused by the message in Maggie Goes on A Diet. The premise of Maggie Goes on A Diet is basically that a young girl, Maggie, age 14, looks in the mirror and decides that she does not like what she sees in the mirror. Maggie then decides to do something about her weight problem and Maggie goes on a diet. This should be an empowering message, right? I am fully aware that we, as a nation, are in the midst of an epidemic of obesity of epic proportions. I see it everywhere I look, even in my own mirror.
My issue is that this book goes on to say that by Maggie “going on a diet” ( a word that I feel should NEVER be uttered in the presence of a child for the sheer fact of the completely negative connotation associated with it) all of her dreams come true. Not only does she lose weight, she becomes beautiful, popular and the star of the soccer team. In a nutshell, according to this book all of life’s dilemmas can be solved by merely not being fat. What a dangerous message this sends. How easily can Kramer’s message be parlayed into self-loathing, Body Dysmorphic Disorder, anorexia, bulimia and a slew of other extreme unsatisfied, not quite measuring up disorders? Since the book is written for the 4-8-year-old, how many ways do you think this message can become twisted in their little brains? Hmmm? Let me count the ways….
Maggie Goes On A Diet and the whole world is Perfect
- If you lose weight you will be prettier
- If you lose weight more girls will like you
- If you lose weight boys will like you
- If you lose weight you will be popular
- If you lose weight you can wear nice clothes
- If you lose weight everyone will love you
- If you lose weight your parents will love you more
- If you lose weight you can be anything you want to be
- If you lose weight you can have anything you want to have
- If you lose weight..everything WILL be PERFECT
- If you lose weight, YOU will be irresistible
- If you lose weight you will never be alone
- If you lose weight, you will always belong
- If the number on the scale is high, your life will be unhappy
- If you have a little extra weight, you are not worthy of happiness
- If you don’t look like everyone else, you are not good enough
- If you are not perfect, you are worthless
And then I received a comment on the original post from a 17-year-old female reader and I know I am right. Here is her comment.
I’m a 17-year-old girl and to be honest, I see nothing wrong with this book. if my parents had given me this book…yeah, I would have been a little upset, but I would know they were just trying to stubbly help me. Everybody is beautiful in their own way, but who doesn’t want to be healthy? I mean it when I say that I am the happiest I’ve ever been because I eat right and exercise daily. This book’s message may just as well be a small step to help you onto your pursuit of happiness * 17-year-old reader*
Do you see what is happening? She is already programmed and defensive. She’s been affected by this sort of mentality. She would have been happy, though upset a little if her parents had given her Maggie Goes on A Diet. Her last sentence is the most troubling, equating Maggie Goes On A Diet’s message with helping one begin their own pursuit of happiness. If this message stands to reason, what is to stop girls from starving themselves or purging? By this message, it would be completely logical to restrict the food, amp up the exercise and be all that you can be. Maggie Goes On A Diet promises a mythical utopia at the end of a weight loss journey to children who still believe in unicorns… 4-8-year-olds. Diets are not for kids. Parents are for kids. Parents need to teach healthy eating habits and model an active lifestyle. You can’t be a good parent and feed your kids crap all the time and leave them in front of a television set. I know it’s easy to give in and feed Bobby nuggets three times a day because you know he will eat THAT. I know it’s easy to give in to that tantrum and just say “Sure go ahead watch another episode of Sponge Bob or play for hours on end on the Wii, PlayStation or DS. We’ve all been there. I’m not making judgments. I speak from past experience. The operative word being past. It’s easier to pop something processed in the microwave or keep the kids entertained with technology so you can get some stuff done. Believe me, I’ve been there. I’ve done it. But the ratio needs to be 5% coping out lazy parenting to 95% making the unpopular choices, the choices that will give our children a higher quality of life in the long run. I, for one, will not be responsible for my girls contributing to the childhood obesity statistic or will I let them spend all of their time with their derrieres planted firmly in front of the tele or the computer. I will not be the reason that they develop poor self-esteem or body image issues.
I will, however, make sure that my girls are shown by example a healthy active lifestyle. I’ve started working with a personal trainer myself over the past 3 weeks and I’ve now noticed my girls emulating my working out.They take dance. They play outside. They ride bikes. The use their imagination. I buy and prepare healthy food. Do they get restaurant food? Sure, once a week we usually eat out. But I try to ensure that they are getting healthy, clean food that is balanced and nutritious. They have to try everything twice, they must eat all their fruits and vegetable but can leave carbs on the plate any time they feel they’ve had enough. Most importantly, my girls know they are better than good enough. They know that they are a sum of their parts; inside, outside, physical, mental and spiritual. Their worth is not determined by what they look like or the size of their clothes. I don’t compare them to other children or to one another. They are individuals and they are amazing…as is. They are healthy, happy, amazing and loved.Oh, how they are loved. This is what is important. I want them to feel the weight of unconditional self-love, pride and respect for themselves not magnify their flaws into full-blown insecurities and disorders. I want my girls to love themselves with the same unconditional and boundless love with which I love them. Maggie Goes on A Diet be Damned.

Maggie Goes On A Diet~Crushing Young Souls Beginning October 2011
2011/09/05
Autumn ~ When Pumpkin Attack
Pumpkin ~You know that Autumn has arrived when the sky above the pumpkin patch lingers and soaks up all the colors of the leaves, fields and pumpkins below holding the color like a mother cradling her child, smiling upon the world for all to bask in her radiant glow. Autumn has arrived officially at the pumpkin patch. Pumpkins can be harvested through the utilization of tractors. Those tractors must be at their peak condition. If not, it probably needs some fixing or some new parts which may be found from the number one source for compact tractor parts and foreign tractor parts.

Pumpkin Sky
Friday, we took our girls to the pumpkin patch. We’ve just recently relocated here, so this is the first of many traditions that we are forced to replace in our new surroundings. This is, by far, one of those holiday season traditions that our family most eagerly awaits every year. Expectations were high. Luckily, the Indian summer did not disappoint. As we arrived at the pumpkin patch, we were greeted by an autumn sky that illuminated the entire patch as if it were saying putting a spotlight on all of nature’s gifts; the grass so green, an amber sky and an array of warm colors on the trees. Enjoy and bask in all the pulchritudinous that the world has to offer you. With the sun shining on my face and my daughter’s smile beaming in my direction, I was thankful. Life was good.
Seriously, isn’t this kid the cutest?
My girls were so excited to be at the pumpkin patch; to be together. We took a hay ride, the girls took a barrel train ride as it started to sprinkle but they didn’t care, they claimed queen of the mountain as they took the straw hill. There were cut out boards where I photographed the girls giggling as they pretended to be the farmer and his wife and the infectious laughter that exuded from within when they pretended to be the farmer and his cow was contagious. In those moments, my soul was full. The girls fawned over the animals at the petting zoo; a Shetland pony with a crooked grin, a donkey who stunk to high heaven but wanted nothing more than to have my sweet girl’s attention, a goat with a tangled horn, the wooliest sheep that I’ve ever seen and a couple of kid face licking cow. The girls were in pure heaven.
Innocuous Pumpkin, you say?
Then we headed out to the pumpkin patch. The Big Guy and I told the girls that they could pick any pumpkin they wanted. They choose, he carves, I carry pumpkins to and from and remove pumpkin guts, as they are too squeamish to do so. I’m only appropriated the most glamorous jobs of the household. Unfortunately, herein lies the problem. Between paparazzi duties and carrying one of the great pumpkins, let’s just call him the Greatest Pumpkin because he weighed a solid 30 pounds if he weighed ten, I did some damage to my person. That’s right, I fought that pumpkin all the way to the car and he attacked me. This is why this post may not make a lot of sense, as my back went out and I am heavily medicated to be able to walk upright.
They say most crimes are perpetrated by someone close to you; someone you know and trust. Well, Great pumpkin, sir, you are no gentleman. I have been accosted by your rotundness, afflicted by your obesity and damaged by your girth. Happiest of holiday seasons to you and yours. Beware those jolly, happy bright orange vegetables, their looks are deceiving. What is your family’s favorite holiday tradition? Do you do the pumpkin patch?
The Great Pumpkin
2011/10/18
My Girls
I’ve got sunshine….on a cloudy day~
And when it’s cold outside, I ‘ve got the month of May~
….I guess you’ll say, What can make me feel this way….
My Girls!!!
2010/04/09
Happiness is a Sight to Behold

Sight or Sound, which would you choose? When I was young, and we’d play that game, would you rather, and I was asked, “Would you rather lose your sight or your hearing?” My answer was always, hands down; I’d rather lose my sight. Why you ask? I absolutely loved music. I know there is a soundtrack to everyone’s life but I need to hear mine. Music and my soundtrack make the movie of my life worth watching, or it did. Then I gave birth to my daughters.
Now, I cannot imagine not being able to see my children’s faces as they grow from newborns to grown women. I don’t want to miss a moment of it. Every ounce of enthusiasm that I put into music has been focused on photographing my girls. I want to remember it all and I want references for years to come.
I cannot imagine not being able to see their little faces when they do something for the first time or getting their knowing looks when they are scared, overwhelmed or sad. Those looks are ones that only a parent can decipher. How could I stand it if I missed a cue to swoop in and rescue them; to make it all better? I certainly can’t imagine a world where I couldn’t have seen their tiny, squished little faces when they were first born. Honestly, the thought of missing that moment is unthinkable.
I couldn’t be happy knowing that I was missing the most important moments of their lives; satisfaction when they dance on stage in the ballet, pride when they graduate or achieve a long sought after goal, happiness when they see their groom for the first time as they walk down the aisle or the overwhelming gratitude that will fill their hearts when they first set eyes on their own babies at birth. I can live without hearing these moments, though I prefer not to. I don’t know if I could survive not seeing them happen.
My sight is what commits the moments of their life to my memory like the memory that I have of when the girls were 5 and 3 and we went into the city for the day to see The Emperor’s New Clothes at the Chicago Shakespeare Theater. I remember getting the girls dressed that morning and driving into the city. It was a beautiful June day and I could see the excitement in the girls’ faces as their eyes widened, as the skyscrapers got larger and larger as we approached them. The girls wore matching dresses and were talking a mile a minute on the drive. Their elation was palpable and contagious. The Big Guy and I smiled the entire drive into the city.
Father & Daughters, Sight of true love
We arrived at Navy Pier. The girls became even more excited when the Ferris wheel and all the people and hustle at Navy pier came into sight. It was their first trip to Navy Pier. My sister, her husband and my nephew met us to watch the show. It all felt so comfortable and normal and it was so nice to be sharing it with my sister. We watched the show. Well everyone else watched the theater production as I watched the girls’ faces as they smiled and giggled at the characters on stage. They were enthralled by the production and I was captivated by them.
The day went on and the memories just compiled; blue skies, the warm sun on our backs as we walked along the boardwalk. The belly aching laughter, lunch with my sister’s family in a familiar jaunt, the smell of the lake reaching up to meet the sweet smells of Garrets popcorn that permeated every square inch of the pier that day made it the perfect day.
I love sharing the places of my childhood with my children and seeing the wonder and excitement in their eyes that I share of the city I love. This was a day that I was grateful for my vision because without it, I would not have been able to see the looks on their faces. The happiness, the wonder and the magic would have been lost.
I received compensation to participate in a SocialMoms and Transitions Optical blogging program. The opinions and ideas expressed here are my own. To read more posts on this topic, click here.
If you are at the Taste of Chicago this year, stop by the Transitions both and have your vision checked for free so that you don’t miss out on the most cherished sights of your life.
What are the most cherished sights in your life?
2012/07/10
Love American Style
Today, puberty is hitting at age 7. 8 years olds are wearing cleavage producing bikinis. Padded bras are being made to fit 4 year olds. They are making heels to fit infants. What’s next, pole dancing lessons in utero? Any mommy worth her salt has to search high and low to find clothes that DON’T make her little girl look like a sex worker.It’s hard having little girls. Kids are growing bigger and taller, faster. Many are being born to older parents and the kids themselves are maturing faster than when we were young. I mean I remember still playing with barbies at 12 and NOT having any boobs.Now, girls are having sex by age 12. It’s freaking scary to think of how fast society tries to make our children become adults.
What’s the rush? Why are we pushing them towards adulthood? It’s like training your ass off to compete in an iron man only to find out that the prize is to perpetually compete in iron men. I try to insure that my little girls get to be little girls. I don’t dress them like miniature adults because they are not adults. I don’t let them watch adult movies or listen to inappropriate music. My rule is if I have to explain something that they shouldn’t know, then they are too young to be exposed to it.
I have friends who have had little girls ( ages 4-6) and I hear them say things like, “Yes, my daughter so and so has a boyfriend in her kindergarten class”. They giggle and they smirk and I stand there thinking to myself…ARE.YOU.FUCKING. MENTAL?? Seriously, do they realize how utterly ridiculous they even sound saying these words?I mean to they even realize what they are contributing to? It’s like they are non-verbally telling their little girls, Thank God a boy likes you.You are worth something. WTF is this? 1950’s…CHINA?
I try hard to not make my girls feel like their worth is wrapped up in their sexuality..because it is not.Plus, I’ve come from a mom who has spent our entire life telling my sisters and I , “I just wish you had a husband and some children so I wouldn’t have to worry about you anymore.”( This statement alone could earn a person a throat punch…..if she weren’t my Mother) I mean what does that even mean? Is there some sort of exchange going on?Are we incapable of actually taking care of ourselves ( in her mind)? Are we worthless if not validated by marriage and children?
So,this afternoon when we had a play date at the zoo with my 6 year olds best friend..a little boy, for the first time ever, I felt a little uncomfortable.I’ve never felt uncomfortable with their behavior before. This little boy really is her best friend. They run to each other every morning and hug one another and hold hands in line…just like she does with any of her little girl friends. It’s never bothered me before because, I know the kid.I know his family. There is nothing sexual or devious about it. It’s just two little kids being affectionate.But today, as we walked behind the two of them and they were walking side by side with the occasional hand holding punctuated by about 27 random hugs, it felt excessive. Then when his mom told him to stop “manhandling her so much” ( on about the 26th hug) this was his reply “Mom,She’s my friend. She likes it. I like it. Leave us alone!” I was thrust into the future about 10 years and WTF?
My question is what is too much? Where do you draw the line between differentiating between being affectionate and being sexualized? What’s appropriate? What’s not? Is it reasonable to expect our children to behave as children when society is trying to make them adults at every turn? What are your thoughts?
2011/04/12
Love Your Body the Way Your Mother Loved Your Baby Feet
Love your body is the message that we must teach our daughters.
Love your body like your mother loved your baby feet. I had something else planned to write about today but then I listened to one of my favorite songs by Mary Lambert, Body Love. It spoke to me and, if you are a woman, it will probably speak to you too. If you are a man, it can give you some insight into a woman’s mind, especially one who finds herself to be perpetually imperfect. Like so many of us do. I want to teach my girls to love themselves as much as I loved their baby feet and that they are worth more than the size of their ass or what lies between their legs or what they look like or a number on a scale. You.Are.Beautiful!
i know girls who are trying to fit into the social norm
like squeezing into last year’s prom dress
i know girls who are low rise, mac eyeshadow, and binge drinking
i know girls that wonder if they’re a disaster and sexy enough to fit in
i know girls who are fleeing bombs from the mosques of their skin,
playing russian roulette with death
it’s never easy to accept that our bodies are fallible and flawed
but when do we draw the line?
when the knife hits the skin?
isn’t it the same thing as purging
because we’re so obsessed with death?
some women just have more guts than others
the funny thing is women like us don’t shoot
we swallow pills, still wanting to be beautiful at the morgue
still proceeding to put on make-up
still hoping that the mortician finds us fuckable and attractive
we might as well be buried with our shoes and handbags and scarves,
girls
we flirt with death every time we etch a new tally mark into our skin
i know how to split my wrists like a battlefield too,
but the time has come for us to reclaim our bodies

our bodies deserve more than to be war-torn and collateral
offering this fuckdom as a pathetic means to say,
“i only know how to exist when i’m wanted!”
girls like us are hardly ever wanted, you know?
we’re used up and we’re sad
and drunk and perpetually waiting by the phone
for someone to pick up and tell us that we did good
well, you did good
i know i am because i said i am
i know i am because i said i am
i know i am because i said i am
my body is home
my body is home
i know i am because i said i am
i know i am because i said i am
i know i am because i said i am
so try this:
take your hands over your bumpy lovebody naked
and remember the first time you touched someone
with the sole purpose of learning all of them,
touched them because the light was pretty on them
and the dust in the sunlight danced the way your heart did

touch yourself with a purpose
your body is the most beautiful royal
fathers and uncles are not claiming your knife anymore
are not your razor, no,
put the sharpness back
lay your hands flat and feel the surface of scarred skin
i once touched a tree with charred limbs
the stump was still breathing but the tops were just ashy remains
i wonder what it’s like to come back from that
because sometimes i feel forest fires erupting from my wrists
and the smoke signals sent out are the most beautiful things i’ve ever seen

love your body the way your mother loved your baby feet
and brother arm-wrapping shoulders, and remember, this is important:
you are worth more than who you fuck
you are worth more than a waistline
you are worth more than beer bottles displayed like drunken artifacts
you are worth more than any naked body could proclaim in the shadows
more than a man’s whim
or your father’s mistake
you are no less valuable as a size 16 than a size 4
you are no less valuable as a 32a than a 36c
your sexiness is defined by concentric circles within your wood,
it is wisdom
you are a goddamn tree stump with leaves sprouting out,
reborn
I am not here yet. But I want to be.
Do you love your body?
2014/02/04
Just Add Disney
To make my girls happy is easy, just add Disney.February is halfway done and I can feel March coming a little too quickly. My daughter is turning 9. 9!! I’ve been really busy trying to plan a great surprise destination spring break for the girls but I don’t want to sweep the birthday under the rug, even though it is just 2 short weeks before spring break. I want it to be special but not outrageously priced. Bella is completely happy with a small party. She’s had extravagant parties every year since she was born. She had asked to take a few of her girlfriends bowling and out for pizza and we were perfectly happy to do that but now life has presented us with a theme; Disney!
It just so happens that Bella has only asked for two things for her birthday; American Girl of the year, Isabelle, and the Disney Pocahontas dress up outfit. The surprise spring break destination is Disney World. Shhhh! Don’t tell the girls. I was also selected to host a Disney Side party, which the girls are thrilled about sharing with their friends and today, I partnered with Feld Entertainment and Disney On Ice and I will be taking the girls to see Disney On Ice Princesses and Heroes!
It’s all the breathtaking ice-skating of Disney on Ice with all the princesses and heroes that my little girls love so much. Not just one or two of the princesses but all of our favorites, Ariel as she yearns to explore the world above the waves and Prince Eric breaks Ursula’s slithering spell to reclaim his one true love. See Prince Philip defeat the evil Maleficent as she transforms herself into a fire-breathing dragon in a race against time to rescue Sleeping Beauty’sAurora. Be there to discover a whole new world with Jasmine and Aladdin. And, watch in awe as the dreams of Cinderella, Belle, Snow White, Rapunzel and Tiana
Our spring is most definitely themed by Disney and I can’t wait to give my girls all these little Disney surprises. They have no idea any of this is in the works, with the exception of the #DisneySide party. I can’t wait to see their faces.
You can get your own tickets for a discounted price of $3 off all performances except opening night by going here and using the promo code MICKEY.

Disclosure: I was not compensated for this post but I am being provided tickets to the show for review purposes.
2014/02/07
Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words You Need to Know
Ok moms of tweens and teens, I didn’t forget about you. I’ve scoured the internet to compile a comprehensive parents guide to teen slang words. Ever feel like your teens and tweens are talking another language? Well, you’re not crazy, they are. They are talking slang and the meanings have changed just to keep us on our toes. Please don’t out yourself as being out of the know and have your kid tell you to skurt skurt.
My girls and I have a pretty open relationship. They still like me on most days. Though that is not my main concern in parenting, I’d love it if one day we could be friends but for now, I’m their mom. There’s always been a comradery between us that transcended the parent/child relationship. I did that on purpose because I didn’t have that as a child.
There was a strict division between parents and children and while I completely believe that I am my daughters’ mom first and their “friend” second, I want them to trust me and, if possible, feel comfortable not hiding things from me. Teens feel weird about all the changes like they can’t tell us things and then they start to shut down and begin to hide things from us.
READ ALSO: The Ever Changing Rules and Regulations of being a Teen Girl
That’s not to say that I’m not the mean mom on the daily but everything I do, like you, is out of love and in the hopes of raising good human beings. I sit through all the Dobre Brothers, Yoga Challenges and Beauty tutorial YouTube videos with them just so we can have conversations that I can actually understand. Just so I can know how they are doing. Because the important things are peppered in with all the daily stuff. It’s our job as parents to pay attention.
The other day, after watching a YouTube video about slang kids are using these days, I realized that maybe not all moms and dads of teens know what the heck their kids are saying when they are talking or texting. They speak in code you know? Not that I’m an expert but, unlike most parents who don’t actually work in social media, I do know some things. Add to the mix that I am a giant child myself and my daughters have taught me some words I should know for 2019. FYI, fleek is no longer on fleek so keep that phrase out of your mouth.
Here is the Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words You Need to Know
Adulting – To grow up and act responsibly
AF – An acronym for “as fuck”
Almosts- Someone you came close to dating but it never became official
Awk/ Awks – Awkward
Basic – Only interested in mainstream, popular things
Beef- Argument
Beat – To have a full face of makeup
Blessed – Feeling fortunate
Bounce – Leaving suddenly
Bougie – Someone from a higher class
BRB- Be Right Back
Bruh – Another way of saying “seriously?”
Cancel – The rejection of a person, place or thing
Canceled – To reject something because it’s no longer trendy or it’s become too ratchet.
Can’t even – Used to describe someone you cannot handle
Catfishing– pretending t be someone else on social media
Clap back – A comeback filled with attitude
Clout Chaser = someone who tries to latch on to other, more popular people
Clout Demon = a wannabe
Cray – Crazy
Cringey– awkward, uncomfortable, cringe-worthy
Dad – A role model
Dank – Really cool
Dead – When someone is euphorically happy
Dead A–= To be completely and honestly serious
Dime = rating of attractiveness, 10/10
Down in the DM = direct messaging someone privately, usually to hook up
Drip, Drippin = flashy, ostentatious
Extra – Over the top, dramatic behavior
Fam – A group of friends who feels more like family
Finesse – To smooth things out
Fleeky– Amazing
FOMO – Fear of missing out
F2F = face to face, meeting in person
Gassed – When someone has had one too many compliments and is full of themselves
Ghost – When you completely disappear after hanging out and showing interest
Girlfriend tax– The amount of food taken by your female significant other, after you asked her if she was hungry and she insisted she wasn’t.
Glow-Up = an incredible transformation
GMT – Getting me tight / getting upset
Goals – A way of subtly expressing that you’re jealous; Goals = a lifestyle to strive for
GOAT – Greatest of all time
Gucci – Good or cool; Good / doing well / feeling fine
Hangry – When you are angry because you are so hungry
High-key – Straight up truth; a lot, wanting everyone to know something
Hit a lick = to steal something
Hundo P – 100 percent certain
Hunty – Equivalent of friend but said with attitude
IRL – In real life
It’s lit = cool, awesome, great
I’m weak = something so funny it made you weak
JOMO – Joy of missing out
Kickback = a casual get together
KMS/KYS = kill myself, kill yourself, used sarcastically
Lean = an intoxicating drink made using soda and cough syrup
Lit – Amazing
Mom – The most responsible friend in the group
Netflix and chill – Hooking up
OMG – An abbreviation for “oh my gosh” or “oh my God!”
OP = out of pocket, used when something is extreme or offensive
OTP – One true pairing
Phubbing – Snubbing someone to pay attention to your phone instead
Ratchet – Trashy
Receipts – Evidence of a person’s hypocrisy, often pulled from past social media or text conversations
Rides – Sneakers or shoes
Salty – Acting upset or bitter
Saucy = feisty or sassy
Savage = wild or harsh
Savage – Petty
Shade-Trash Talk
Shipping – Wanting two people to date
Shook – Confused or in utter disbelief
Sic – Something that is cool
Sipping/Sips Tea– Minding your own business
Spilling the Tea– Gossipping
Skurt – Go away
Slay – Killing it / Succeeding
SMH – Shaking my head
Snatched – Looks good, fierce, fashionable. Snatched is the new fleek.
Snack– Cute= tasty treat you’d like to eat; the people version
Spilling Tea – Gossiping
Squad – Closest group of friends
Stan – A combination of stalker and fan
Straight Fire – Hot, popular or trendy
Suh – A shortened version of what’s up
Sus – When someone is acting suspicious or shady
Swerve – Get out of the way
Swol – Someone who works out
TBH – To be honest
Tea -Gossip
TFW – That feeling when
Thicc – Someone with curves
Thirst trap – A sexy photograph or flirtatious message posted on social media
Thirsty – Trying to get attention; horny
Throwing shade – Making a subtly mean comment about someone
Trill – True and real
Trolls – Someone who purposely tries to provoke others
Turnt – Hype for a party
V – very
Weak – Laughing so hard that you can hardly breathe
Wig snatched – Exposing someone to reveal the truth
Wig = when something crazy or unexpected (good) happens
WOAT– Worst of All Time
Woke – Being aware of current affairs
Yaas – An enthusiastic way of saying yes, or as my girls say, Yaas queen.
Yeet – A way to show excitement or agree
YOLO – You only live once
Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words that Describes People or Relationships
OK, parents pay attention. You know relationships are so important during the teens years. Friends are our lifelines and boys, well, the day rises and sets around them when we are first crushing. Our teens find out about themselves through these relationships. They are rocky and scary and unexplored territory.
READ ALSO: Tips for Raising Teenage Girls and Not Damaging Your Relationship Pt.1
Did you know they have a whole slang language for these relationships? They do. I guess we did too. Remember being someone’s “lady”, “boo” or “girl”? Well, move over bacon there is something leaner.
Here are some teen slang words used to describe people or relationships. There is some overlap for the above list.
- Bae – “Before anyone else” and is often used to describe a boyfriend or girlfriend
- BF/GF – Boyfriend or girlfriend
- BFF – Best friends forever
- Bruh – Same as “bro”
- Creeper – Someone who is socially awkward or tends to have stalker tendencies
- Curve – Romantic rejection
- Emo – Emotional or a drama queen
- Hater or h8er – Someone who hates everything, even their friends
- n00b – A person who doesn’t want to learn
- Ship – Short for ‘relationship’
- Squad – A group of girls that hang out together regularly
- Tight – In a close relationship
- Wanksta – A person trying to act tough, but who isn’t really pulling it off
Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words the Compound Version
Yes, this is a thing and we’ve all heard it. Hangry and chillaxin. TBH, I thought I invented Hangry back when I was a teen but perhaps I was mistaken.
Teens often create shortcuts by combining two words together. To understand what they mean, you need to know the definition of each word. Here are some examples of compound teen slang:
- Chillaxin – Chillin’ and relaxing.
- Crashy – Crazy and trashy
- Hangry – Hungry and angry
- Requestion – Request and a question
- Tope – Tight and dope
Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words You Should Pay Attention To
Be on the lookout for these slang words which could indicate your teen is bullying someone or that getting bullied by someone:
- Bye Felicia – A disrespectful way to dismiss someone who is unimportant
- CD9 – Code 9, parents are here
- POS – Parents over shoulder (often used when texting to warn friends that mom or dad is reading) I thought it meant Piece of Sh*t.
- Throw Shade – Give someone a dirty look
- Tool – Refers to someone who is stupid or a geek
Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words You Should Definitely Keep an Eye Out For
I am so thankful that social media wasn’t around when I was a tween and teen. When I think of all the stupid things I did that could have been captured and lived on in infamy, I cringe. I was naïve and dumb and did a lot of dumb things; made a lot of mistakes. By most standards, I was a good kid and I still did some really dangerous, thoughtless things.
READ ALSO: Tips for Raising Teenage Girls and Not Damaging Your Relationship Pt.2
Social media, text messaging, and online dating can lead to sexual conversations over the computer. And if you’re not sure what to look out for, you might not even notice what your teen is saying right under your nose. Sneaky little boogers.
Drug conversations are also something you need to be aware of. Here are some teen slang words that may indicate your teen is being pressured or experimenting with sex, drugs and alcohol.
- CU46 – See you for sex
- GNOC – Get naked on camera
- Molly – MDMA, a dangerous party drug
- NIFOC – Naked in front of the computer
- Netflix and Chill – Used as a front for inviting someone over to make out (or maybe more)
- Smash – Casual sex
- Turnt Up – To be high or drunk
- Tweaking= high, usually on amphetamines
- Zip Ghost – Someone who is high on marijuana and having a hard time functioning
- Dexing – Abusing cough syrup
- Crunk – Getting high and drunk at the same time
- X – Ecstasy
- 53X – Sex
- WTTP – Want to trade photos?
- LMIRL – Let’s meet in real life
Not going to lie, I check my kids’ phones every night. They are still pretty young. We’re at the beginning and I’d rather be a smother than be sorry. I’m totally upfront about it so I’m not invading their privacy all sneaky squirrel. They know I check their phones. This is not to be nosey, this is to make sure they are safe.
Sometimes kids wander into unfamiliar territory and, believe it or not, they want someone to put the brakes on because then they can hide behind their “mean mom” saying no, rather than having to tell someone that they don’t want to do something because they feel uneasy or too young. I’m fine with being the bad guy.
I made this Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words so we can understand and communicate with our teens.
I’m sure you already know this, but some parents don’t, beware of Finsta accounts on Insta. You know, you think that you are watching your kid’s account but really you are only watching the one they want you to see. They’ve got 2 more that you have no idea exist and they are doing crazy sh*t like having full on conversations full of innuendo with strangers and taking pictures half naked with suggestive faces and captions. The point is that teens these days are so smart and tech savvy but they are still young and naïve to how the world works so it is our job to keep them safe not give them enough social media rope to hang themselves.
READ ALSO: Tips for Raising Teenage Girls and Not Damaging Your Relationship Pt.3
Another good idea, check out Gryphon. It’s a smart home device that allows you to monitor, block, and even turn off the internet on your child’s device, all from your phone. (Yup, you can turn off their internet during dinner time, homework time, etc. so you no longer have to nag them to put down their devices). I like to turn off the Internet when the girls are supposed to be in bed because I don’t want them up getting into trouble. I’ve noticed that kids seem to get a little braver when they have sleepovers and are staying up. This is when prank calls and text take place. I get it. We used to do it but we didn’t have sexting and the Internet. It wasn’t forever, just for a while. I need to think of their future and their safety even when they aren’t. Sometimes we need to save our kids from themselves.
Are there any words that I forgot on the Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words or that you have heard your kid use and need an explanation
2019/01/21
Parenting an Angry Child and Remembering to Love Them
Since the commuter marriage fiasco of 2010-2011, there has been some definite backlash. The biggest backlash can be seen on a daily basis with my 4-year-old, Gabi. She’s one of those children who does everything in a big way. She loves in a big way, plays in a big way, feels every single emotion in a really impactful way. She also hurts in a very big way and I have found myself in the undesirable position of parenting an angry child.
Parenting an angry child is hard.
Gabi’s always been high strung and easily frustrated. Since being apart from her the Big Guy for 2 years at the ripe old ages of 2-4, she’s developed some attachment issues. I made the decision to stay in our home with the girls after the Big Guy lost his job, and found another one across the country. We all followed to be together. Within 7 months, we were downsized just as we were putting down new roots. We stiff upper lipped it and thanked God we were all together.
READ ALSO: If you want respect from your toddler, you have to respect them too
Out of a need to support his family, the Big Guy took the first job that he found, which was a 4-hour drive from our home and was a contract position. For those not familiar, contracting is like freelancing without an exact expiration date and after the recent relo and uproot we wanted the girls to have stability. We made the hardest choice of our married and parenting life thus far; we decided, for the sake of the girls, that I would reside in our home with our girls and the Big Guy would come home every weekend. This was not an easy decision and was hard on every one of us. It was almost unbearable.
Parenting an angry child is heartbreaking.
To anyone who’s never done this, let me assure you that it’s much harder than it sounds or you can imagine. We bit off more than we could chew. To say it was trying is the understatement of the year (of the 2 years). I may have given the girls a “home” but in the process robbed them of the attachment of their father.
This past August we uprooted from the only true home the girls have ever known so that we could all be together and moved in with our in-laws (that’s an entirely different post). The home we left behind is the home where Bella had every first from 5 months on and the very home where Gabi was conceived, born and raised for the past four years. It was just getting to be too hard on all of us; the children, the marriage and boundaries and relationships were getting blurred.
READ ALSO: Realizing that Maybe You’re doing Parenting Wrong
Both girls have abandonment issues now. Worse yet, Gabi is a very angry child due to the hurt and attachment issues she experienced at such a young age. I feel like the world’s shittiest mother when she’s screaming that she hates me and tells me that I don’t love her because she has been wounded in this process. I pray not irrevocably damaged. Her pain and frustration are audible but sometimes it’s hard to not get angry in response.
I love her so much but parenting an angry child who constantly gets frustrated and goes directly to ” I hate you”, “You’re the worst Mom in the world”, ” You don’t love me do you?” is hard, especially the latter. Hearing “You don’t love me do you?” through tears and anger, cuts me to my quick and breaks my heart while simultaneously stirring feelings of anger. I try to reassure her, but it is met with a barrage of insults and disbelief.
Logic tells me that I need to listen and respond in an affirming way to let her know that she is safe and we will never leave her. It breaks my heart to know how badly I’ve hurt her simply by doing what I thought was best. Parenting is not an exact science but when parenting an angry child there is an even smaller margin of error.
READ ALSO: My Daughter thinks I’m Ugly
I’m trying to educate myself about how to do this parenting an angry child business appropriately without causing further damage and understanding what she needs. I am trying to learn to respond and react appropriately. Remembering to set boundaries on her behavior without belittling her feelings. Even if the chance of abandonment is never going to happen, she needs to know and feel secure that there is nothing she could ever do to make us leave. More importantly, the separation was not because of anything she did or was the cause of.
I need her to understand that we recognize her feelings. We need to help her recognize her primary feelings before it gets to the secondary feeling of anger. For angry children, anger is almost never the initial reaction to a situation. It is usually preceded for a split second by embarrassment, sadness, fear, hurt, disappointment or worry. I need to catch that moment and let her know that I recognize THAT feeling and that it’s okay to feel that way. I need to let Gabs know that I understand that she is feeling that way and that it is perfectly normal. Assure her that there is no blame. I need to love her, even when she is trying to push me away. I need her to know that our parent-child relationship is unbreakable.
Parenting an Angry Child will Heal her Wounds
It’s a long road ahead but I will do whatever is necessary to repair this wound and soothe my angry child. Do you have an angry child? What are some techniques you use to move past the anger when parenting an angry child? How do you validate without frustrating your angry child or getting angry yourself? How does this work with other siblings? Being that the squeaky wheel gets the oil, does this cause other issues with the more adjusted children? How do you go about parenting an angry child?
2011/12/14
11 Reasons Why You Should Binge Watch Stranger Things 3 Today
Hope you all had a Happy Stranger Things 3 Fourth of July! Wait, you didn’t spend yesterday binging Netflix’s Stranger Things Season 3??? I have a tween and a teen girl so, forget the fireworks, we were glued to all the action happening in Hawkins and in awe of the kids in the Stranger Things cast. They are all so grown up.
READ ALSO: The TRUTH about Parenting Teens
I have a special place in my heart for Stranger Things because it not only reminds me of my youth, but my girls are around the same age as the kids in the show. I’m living Stranger Things. This Netflix binge is something the girls and I laugh, cry and bond over. Remember the Stranger Things 13^th Birthday party we threw for Bella? Still one of my favorites.
Stranger Things 3: It’s 1985 in Hawkins, Indiana, and summer’s heating up. School’s out, there’s a brand new mall in town, and the Hawkins crew are on the cusp of adulthood. Romance blossoms and complicates the group’s dynamic, and they’ll have to figure out how to grow up without growing apart. Meanwhile, danger looms. When the town’s threatened by enemies old and new, Eleven and her friends are reminded that evil never ends; it evolves. Now, they’ll have to band together to survive and remember that friendship is always stronger than fear.
11 Reasons Why You Should Binge Stranger Things 3 Today
1. Big Kids, Big Problems
The kids are older and behave so. People have coupled up and the storylines are relatable not only to your tweens/teens going through the same thing but for the parents having to navigate the murky waters of first loves too. Someone met a girl at camp. I adore the bromance between Steve and Dustin. If the Eleven and Hopper relationship evolution in Stranger Things 3 doesn’t make you cry, you are dead inside.
2. Girls Rule, Boys Drool
Steve is fulfilling his destiny and winning for the first time ever. Steve might actually win a fight and, no spoilers, but a lesson in humility and an open mind might make him a better person. Mike and Lucas learn a few things about how to treat a girl, the hard way.
3. Adulting, it’s complicated
Hopper and Joyce…Jopper? Does anyone need a love story more than these two? Also, a steamy near affair Mrs. Robinson style. Not going to tell you who but you might not be surprised.
4. The 80’s nostalgia will bring all the feelings of childhood back.
If you were alive in the ’80s or love 80’s movies be prepared to have flashbacks to every 80’s movie you’ve ever seen, in the best possible way. Be prepared for your kids to ask for all the 80’s styles that you rocked back in the day. FYI, they are available now at Hot Topic. Of course, they are.
5. There are far worse things than demogorgons…like way worse.
I thought the Demogorgon and Demodogs were disgusting but there is something much scarier and Stranger Things 3 brings it to you courtesy of all the citizens of Hawkins, Indiana.
6. There is a healthy dose of girl power.
Girls rule Hawkins from powerful Eleven to sassy Max, no B.S. Joyce to Suzy in Utah. The girls of Hawkins are tough cookies and even Nancy is giving the Wonder Woman pose this season. Go, Girls. Your girls will walk away from this season feeling empowered and elevated.
7. The Cold War is now.
You think the Russian interference now is scary, wait until you get a load of the Stranger Things 3 Russians. Nyet, thank you!
8. Something terrible happens to someone you love to hate.
We get the backstory on one of our favorite characters that we love to hate. We find out they’ve had it rough and just need a break. Self-sacrifice will leave you in deep need of Kleenex.
9. First LGBTQ character introduced in Hawkins.
It happened fast but we are pretty sure that one of the Hawkins kids is out. The best thing about it was that it was a no big deal moment. For the ’80s, that was everything. Bravo Stranger Things 3 cast and writers for keeping it 100. Never doubt that Hawkins is woke.
10. Life in Hawkins, Indiana will never be the same again.
A major character dies. I can’t tell you who because I’m not a jerk but have.all.the.Kleenex. I was ready to riot. Let’s just leave it at that. If it turns out to be real next season, I still might. I will tell you that if this character actually died, Hawkins will never be the same again. Also, there is a major shift and our gang gets separated.
11. Watch to the very end of the credits for a super plot twist.
PLEASE WATCH THROUGH THE CREDITS!! If you don’t you are going to miss a major clue for next season and you will spend the next year crying over the state of our favorite characters’ existence. The ending is hopeful.
READ ALSO: Parent Guide to Teen Slang
That’s all the non-spolier reasons that I can give you to binge Stranger Things 3 today! Now, I’m off to plan our Stranger Things 3 Halloween costumes. I mean, the Fourth of July has passed so basically, it’s time for pumpkin lattes, right?
I am obsessed and we’re about to re-binge the entire series tomorrow.
If you already binged Netflix’s Stranger Things 3, let’s discuss in the comments.
2019/07/05