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  • Screw the GOP, Screw the NRA and Screw the Right to Bear Arms

    Screw the GOP, Screw the NRA and Screw the Right to Bear Arms

    I’ve been mulling over my thoughts on gun control, the Nay voters in the Senate that essentially voted for the rights of terrorists to have guns, the NRA and today’s Senate sit-in. There is so many terrible things happening in the world lately and with the mass shootings especially, to me, it feels like voting against people on terrorist watch lists having the right to purchase assault weapons would be a no-brainer. We don’t allow them to fly because they used planes against us on 9/11 but domestic terrorists use guns against us so often that it’s becoming common place and yet, we still allow them access to assault weapons. Let me tell you, it’s a hell of a lot harder to hijack a plane than it is to shoot someone with an assault weapon that it took 7 minutes to buy at the gun show. I honestly think the real problem is that most people don’t truly understand the 2nd Amendment so here is a better explanation of the right to bear arms. I have degrees that focused on Political Science, History, Government, law, criminology and sociology and sometimes, I forget that not everyone has the comprehensive understanding that I do.

    semi automatic weapon, gun control, NRA, Right to bear arms, John Lewis, Filibuster

    Just one week after a Senate filibuster forced a vote on gun control measures and a few days after the Republicans stymied that vote (and we all became aware of what each senator was paid in exchange for his/her part in supporting the NRA) the Democrats in the House of Representatives are done with this political bullshit! Enough is enough. Hell no! We won’t go! They are holding a good old-fashioned sit-in on the floor to try to get the Republicans to relent and I’ve never been prouder to be a democrat than I am today. This day in Congress brought to you by the Democrats!

    I have been pissed off since June 20th when I found out that most of the Republican party voted Nay to the gun control measures and instead voted for the right of suspected terrorists and their right to bear arms. Yes, our Republican party is so hell bent on not crossing party lines that they would rather sell assault weapons to people on the Terrorist Watch List than protect our children from being shot while sitting in a classroom, dancing in a club in Orlando or just living in general. There are a lot of shitty, hateful people in the world with access to guns.

    gun control, NRA, Right to bear arms, John Lewis, Filibuster

    What’s worse still, we found out that almost everyone on the Nay list has taken funds from the NRA. Some of the Senators on the list sold their soul for free while others voted for your children to have the right to be shot for as little as $2000. Think about that? That means these people think your child’s life is disposable.

    gun control, NRA, Right to bear arms, John Lewis, Filibuster

    Thankfully, there are people in the Senate who care about our children’s lives than some macho misconception that in order to be free you must be able to own an assault weapon. Unfortunately, most of our Republican senators think the right to bear arms is more important than your right to hold your children in your arms. I’ve never made a secret about the fact that I’m anti-gun and my feeling that the right to bear arms is an antiquated one. Yes, I’ve been called all the names by all the right wing NRA, gun waving “true” Americans; liberal left wing C*NT seems to be the most popular. Anyways, f*ck your right to bear arms. What about my right to see my children grow to adulthood? What about my right to not worry every single time that I leave them that it’s the last because some psycho with an assault weapon might decide he’s having a bad day and needs to kill some people to feel better about himself?

    The second amendment was added to our constitution at a time when we needed a militia. PERIOD. We don’t need general population Americans to be able to assemble and fight for their freedom. We have troops for that now; men and women who have been trained in combat. I don’t need John P. Anybody who lives next door having ready access to assault weapons to shoot kids walking through his yard for trespassing. No one hunts with a semi-automatic or automatic assault weapon, unless the point of the hunt is to obliterate the animal for sport.

    I know that many people hold on to their right to bear arms like their right to breathe but I assure you that the second amendment has outlived its usefulness.

    Gun control reform is needed in order to protect our citizens from real people with guns more than gun owners need to protect themselves from imagined threats.

     

    gun control, NRA, Right to bear arms, John Lewis, Filibuster

    “A well-regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

    It is a dinosaur and it needs to be changed. It is not your right to own a gun so you can wave it around whenever you feel like someone has wronged you. It’s not your right to shoot people you don’t like because they looked at you wrong. It’s not your right to shoot someone you hate because you don’t agree with the color of their skin, their religion, their culture, their race or their life choices. You are not God just because you own a gun.

    But today, I feel hopeful because people are standing up (well, sitting in) for what’s right. What I can’t understand is how the same people who are adamantly Pro-Life for unborn children, don’t give a f*ck about my living child’s safety. My living children’s lives are worth less to them than their personal right to bear arms. Are children like cars do they start losing their value the moment they leave the womb?

    Finally, some politicians are getting it right.

    gun control, NRA, Right to bear arms, John Lewis, Filibuster

    The time for silence and patience is long gone,” Representative John Lewis, the Georgia Democrat and hero of the civil rights movement who is leading the sit-in, said in a stirring speech Wednesday morning.

    “The American people are demanding action. Do we have the courage; do we have the raw courage to make at least a down payment on ending gun violence in America?”

    “Sometimes you have to do something out of the ordinary.”

    “Sometimes you have to make a way out of no way!”

    Then Representative Lewis and his fellow Democrats sat down on the floor and began chanting,

    “No bill, No break!”

    It’s time we all do our part. We’ve been backing down in the face of the right to bear arms for far too long. The NRA would have you believe that to revoke the second amendment would be to infringe on the human rights of our fellow Americans. The NRA is full of bullies. It’s like a gang of big, dumb kids who don’t know how to use their words and resort to violence in the face of controversy. We Democrats, we are like the smart kids at school. But we can’t be scared of these small minded bullies anymore, our children’s lives might depend on it. We can’t back down this time.

    Gun control can’t be more important to us than children’s lives.

  • You Mean Well, But Stop Saying These Toxic Things to Cancer Patients

    You Mean Well, But Stop Saying These Toxic Things to Cancer Patients

    Estimated reading time: 0 minutes

    Today’s Throat Punch is a bit of an emotional express train, but it’s an important one. Because while I fancy myself a bit of a comedic truth-teller most days, some situations require putting the funny-lady shtick aside momentarily. This is that moment. Apparently, we all need a tutorial ( a “What Not to Say to Cancer Patients ” for Dummies” if you will) so people can stop saying stupid AF and insensitive things to cancer warriors; to people we know and love. If you don’t stop hurting the feelings of people already dealing with the hardest moment in their life, I may have to put on my ass-kicking superhero outfit and throat punch you for them. You’ve been warned.

    What is Glioblastoma?

    We’re talking about cancer in general but glioblastoma, in particular, today -according to Cleveland Clinic, glioblastoma multiforme (GBM) is the most common type of malignant (cancerous) brain tumor in adults. Cancer cells in GBM tumors rapidly multiply. The cancer can spread into other areas of the brain as well. Rarely, the cancer spreads outside the brain to other parts of the body.

    Glioma tumors like GBM start in glial cells. Glial cells are vital to nerve cell function. GBMs specifically form in glial cells called astrocytes. GBMs are the fastest-growing astrocytoma (tumor that forms in astrocytes). It’s the kind of diagnosis that punches you in the gut and sinks your heart straight through the floor, no matter who you are.

    I’ve had more friends than I care to recount bravely fight the cancer monster over the years. I’ve seen it turn vibrant humans into mere shells, ripping away independence, cognitive abilities, and bland normalcies we so casually take for granted each day. Right now, someone I love is facing the kind of diagnosis that knocks you to your knees. She’s one of the bravest and most brilliant women I know and the last thing she needs is to the suffer fools saying stupid ass shit to her online or in person. Thats why I’m writing this because you all need to use your common sense and ask yourself BEFORE you open your mouth, “How would I feel in her situation if someone said what I’m about top ask her?” and then shut your mouth. 

    It’s a different kind of nightmare when the thing you’re battling resides in the very home base operating your entire physical existence – your brain. Glioblastoma is quite literally your own body turning against you in one of the cruelest, most insidious ways imaginable.

    So if you’ve never been impacted by a loved one facing this reality, trust me – just be quiet and send up some gratitude. Because it’s a hell that vastly exceeds any offense my usual Throaty subjects could ever dish out.

    But since we’re being radically candid today, I do have ONE thing I’d like to firmly THROAT PUNCH into submission:

    What NOT to Say to Someone Battling Cancer

    We’ve all been there – someone we care about gets dealt a world-shattering health prognosis. Glioblastoma, or otherwise. And despite our utterly pure intentions, we WILL say inadvertently awful, cringeworthy things in the aftermath as we grapple with how to act.

    Comments that make us smack our foreheads in private, realizing we just barged straight into a fully-body-fazed moment of profound uncomfortable silence.

    I’ve been that foot-in-mouth airbag inflater more times than I can count. I’ve also been the recipient of stupid and insensitive comments when I was at one of the hardest moments of my life. We want so badly to provide comfort, to say the “right” thing that’ll take away the suffocating weight, but we often shove our foot directly into the wound instead.

    So consider this your official game plan for what to SHUT UP about when supporting someone going through hell:

    • No Comments About Causation, Vice or Fault

    “Did you smoke/drink/eat too many processed foods when you were younger?”

    No, Karen, they didn’t “do” anything to “cause” this. Cancer is an indiscriminate monster, period. Unless your genuine medical advice was solicited, stop trying to diagnose a way to rationalize the unthinkable.

    • No Platitudes or Toxically Positive BS

    “Don’t worry, you’ll get through this! Everything’s gonna be just fine!”

    Oh wow, super cool! I didn’t realize this was armageddon allergies and not, you know, a terrifying brain cancer! While positivity has its place, false reassurances often just gaslight away the person’s very visceral fears and struggles. Let them feel how they need to feel.

    • No Narcissistic± Sidetracking

    “I once had this cousin who had a scare, and let me tell you…”

    For the love of God, STOP. This isn’t your moment to make an irrelevant grand pivot and arrogantly make things about yourself for 28 minutes. Exercise restraint and make this about THEM.

    • No Unsolicited Treatment Instructions

    “From what I’ve researched online, you shouldn’t be doing chemo – only natural remedies and a dairy-free juice cleanse!”

    Unless “Dr. Facebook School of Health” is an accredited medical dynasty I missed, keep your unqualified treatment recs to yourself. Ask how YOU can best support whatever THEIR medical team suggests.

    • No Weird Existential Probing

    “So…do you believe in the afterlife then?”

    I CANNOT stress this enough: the name on the Grim Reaper’s ominous guest list is not yours to shortcut RSVP for! Blatantly morbid Qs only amplify fear and discomfort, so shut your literal forever piehole.

    …And Above All Else: NO MAKING IT THEIRS

    • “Your/The Cancer…”

    This fire-breathing monster FORCED its way into their life uninvited. It was not some assumed decision or claimed identity. It’s simply an unfair, horrific circumstance beyond their control that they’re being outrageously strong in fighting.

    So make damn sure you don’t go accidentally making this THEIR personal “thing” to have with possessive language. It’s NOT THEIRS – it’s the disgusting affliction they have the profound audacity to keep rallying against each day. So afford them that vital distinction.

    At the end of the day, someone facing a cancer nightmare doesn’t need your wacky armchair expertise or stifling social niceties. They need two very simple human superpowers from you:

    • A stubbornly present supportive ear to listen…

    • And a soul strong enough to look the dragon’s flame straight in the eye alongside them without flinching.

    Just show up and BE THERE, through all the scary valleys and occasional picturesque peaks this horrendous road is sure to bring. Let them lead the conversation where they need it to go.

    Do NOT co-opt their grief. This.Is.NOT.about.You.

    I don’t care how terrible you feel, I know it sucks. but you need to be cool bitch. Hold it together. Only speak affirmations of your unwavering faith in their ability to keep fighting, and that you’ll be their kick in the pants when they need it most:

    “I don’t know what’s coming, but I know YOU – and you’re stronger than whatever bull$#%* this thing will throw your way. I’m locked in, strapped in, and not letting go for a second until we’ve kicked cancer’s ass together, side-by-side. Whatever you need from me – whenever you need it – you’ve got it.”

    Because at the end of the day, that’s all any of us really needs when facing the abyss:

    The validation that we don’t have to be stronger than we’re capable of.

    Just strong enough to never have to be stronger ALONE.

    So let’s all take a big collective breath and do BETTER at being present for those being swallowed whole by this nightmare.

    Say THE right things – or just shut up and SHOW UP with the strongest heart you’ve got. That’s more than enough to start.

    Sending all my love and strength to every last warrior still waging this heaviest of battles today, especially my girl, Jill. You are the bravest souls, and you’ve got infinite love, light and support behind you for the hearty fight ahead.

    If you know someone going through a cancer struggle, I implore you – check in on them. Ask how you can tangibly lighten any load, no matter how small. Offer to lend an ear without caveats. Stay involved in their journey without forcibly inserting yourself as a hype-person. Send them a meal for the family. Pick up the slack. Drive the kids to school. Do the laundry. Load the dishwasher. It might seem mundane but when you’re going through a life changing struggle, the little things matter. 

    And most importantly, if they’re a parent facing this terror…ask what you can do to support their child or children too. The psychic/emotional/physical tolls of this beast impact entire families. Do what you can to ease that unbearable burden in any way they need.

    We’re all in this life thing together – let’s start showing up that way for those doing the hardest pushing and shoving against darkness to keep seeing brighter days ahead. 

    While you are here, if you want to do some good you can start here:

    I don’t ask for much ever but Jill Smokler is one of my dearest friends and favorite people in the world. She is facing one of the most challenging moments in her life.
     
    glioblastoma, what not to say to cancer patients,Jill Smokler
    To know her is to love her and I f@cking love her… so much. She has made it her mission to help moms and women all over the world; from making them laugh and cry their way through motherhood, to putting Thanksgiving meals on tables for families who otherwise would have none, to helping us Gen Xers and Millennials laugh our way through our perimenopausal rage. She’s always been there for us and it’s time we’re there for her.
     
    If you’ve ever enjoyed her stories on Scary Mommy, listened to the She’s Got Issues podcast, sat around a table or a pool under the warm Florida night or had the privilege and honor of knowing her, loving her and being her friend, please donate!
    It is our turn to show up for Jill by relieving her of some of the massive financial burden that this fatal disease is causing so she can focus on fighting and being present for her three kids without the added stress of paying for medical expenses, experimental treatments and everything they entail, rehab, and the list goes on.
     
    Let’s show Jill that this massive community she has touched is still here and in this fight with her!
    Please donate here ( if you can) and please share this fundraiser far and wide!
     
  • Cheat Bribe and Lie that’s how Privilege Beats the System

    Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman and 31 other parents were charged in the college admissions scandal. 50 people were charged earlier this week in a nationwide scheme to fast-track students for admission to elite colleges and universities. As a parent, I understand wanting the best for your children just like Lori Loughlin wanted the best for her daughters, Olivia Jade Giannulli and Isabella Rose Giannulli, social media influence and fake USC crew recruits.

    I understand wanting to give your child the world but isn’t cheating their way in doing them a disservice? They are learning that they can cheat their way to success and they either don’t care or have lost confidence in their own abilities to earn entrance. What these parents did was absurd and they should be held accountable. But now, it’s not just them but their kids too. These kids, whether they knew about what their parents were doing or not, have landed smack dab in the middle of this scandal. How embarrassing!

    READ ALSO: They Wanted Better for Us

    For example,  Olivia Jade Gianulli and Isabella Rose are losing sponsorships and their social media influence is dwindling as their teen fanbase are mad about her cheating her way into college. This scandal is not only going to probably get Lori Loughlin’s daughters kicked out of school, but it’s also going to ruin their reputation as social media influencers leaving these girls without a proverbial pot to piss in, well, except for the millions their parents have. They’ll be okay.

    Also, let’s all be clear here. This is not the first time this has happened. This has probably been going on since colleges existed and wealthy parents wanted their kids to have a prestigious diploma to hang on their wall. It’s no different than the college athletes who are encouraged by the administration to skate by in easy classes to stay eligible to play. Privilege is nice if you’re on the receiving end of it.

    READ ALSO: Everything in Life Worth Having I Earned in College

    When I was 17, I applied to several universities, all very high-quality institutions of higher learning, some even ivy league. I got accepted to all of them through hard work, good grades and extracurricular activities. I worked my ass off for it. The only limitation I had when it came to choosing a school was money. I come from a blue-collar family, with an immigrant father and a stay at home mother. They had six kids, one salary and no extra.

    Everything we got, we worked hard for. 5 out of the 6 of us graduated from college with real-world degrees. My brothers went to college on soccer scholarships and financial aid. They took the opportunity their athletic abilities provided them and used it to fund their futures.

    I worked full-time, took financial aid loans and whatever scholarships I could qualify for as did my sister. I did whatever I had to; late nights, driving an hour and a half each way between school and work because to me, it was worth it. My parents taught us to take the opportunities we earned and use them to better situation.

    My parents raised us with pride and integrity. They raised us to respect ourselves and the education system. Our parents inspired us to work hard and believe in ourselves. My parents may not have had money but they gave us what they could, believe in ourselves and self-confidence.

    READ ALSO: How to Afford the Education your Child Deserves

    Believe me, I get it, wanting to give your child every leg up that you can. But buying their way into college is not only not fair but not even helpful. Firstly, what message are you sending to your child that you have to help cheat their way into college? They are too dumb to get in on their own? Or worse, they are too lazy to try? Either way, you are aren’t doing them favors in the long run.

    Secondly, you are actually teaching them to be entitled and promoting white privilege. There are things in life that you need to earn to fully appreciate them and if you don’t earn them, you don’t deserve them. Also, I don’t just blame these mothers, why are we not calling out Mossimo Giannulli or William Macy?

    Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman, William H Macy, Olivia Jade Giannulli, Isabella Rose Giannulli, college admissions cheating scandal
    (Photo by Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)

    Thirdly, putting kids into universities that they had to cheat their way into is taking the spot of someone who earned it and belongs there on merit. These students are taking spots that they didn’t earn, probably cheating their way through ( because if they couldn’t qualify to get in on their own they probably can’t keep up) for a piece of paper they don’t need because they are already wealthy. Not to be flippant, but I haven’t heard of a lot of celebrity children going into medicine, law or other scholarly fields. Most of them either go into the family business or spend their lives living off of the spoils of their parents’ careers. I see you, Paris Hilton.

    Lori Loughlin, Felicity Huffman and all the parents who did this, shame on you and your privilege.

    Meanwhile, the underprivileged, smart kids of the world who are dependent on entry into these universities to not only change their situation but their lives are screwed. Those of us who grew up blue-collar or even middle class are taught to chase the American dream and through hard work and determination we can get into the good universities and get armed with the tools to chase after those dreams.  With celebrities buying their entitled, lazy kids their way into college the kids who deserve it are losing those spots. These parents are literally stealing futures from other kids.

    What are these parents teaching their children? I get it. Every parent wants better for their children then they had. It’s natural. These wealthy parents worked hard for their wealth and success. There is a sense of satisfaction and happiness that comes from working hard for something. There is pride and dignity tied to accomplishment. In the end, these parents (however well-meaning their intentions may have been) cheated their own children. They cheated all of the kids who should have earned those university spots. Cheated their own children out of the satisfaction of earning their own way.

    What do you think should happen to Felicity Huffman, Lori Loughlin and all of these parents and the students who are part of the college admissions scandal?

  • More Hopping, FAWKING, and doing it all the HARD way!

    Happy Friday, my friends! If you are here! I am happy to see you. It’s Friday and I am in a fantastically wonderful mood. The Big Guy is headed home to our zip code, the Bellarini will be headed home soon and it will be cuddle, snuggles and naps all around! And my Gabs, that little golden nugget is sitting by my side watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse…ever so quietly.Coffee is piping hot and in this moment life is pretty SWEET!Most of you have heard about my Be a Better Me Challenge that I have been doing this month, in honor of my birthday. Hope you can link up and we can all be better us! Also, in honor of my birthday, I have set a small goal of reaching a 1000 followers by my birthday September 25th. So, if you can follow or pass the word on to your friends who you think would enjoy this blog, I would much appreciate it. Feeling too blessed to be stressed this morning. Hope you are too. Take some deep breaths, relax, let all the craziness fall to the wayside. It’s Friday, its a beautiful fall day, and  life is good! One more thing, Favor. Can you all help me out. I have been nominated for favorite Mommy Blogger on Babble. If its possible can you help me out by clicking on the first link here:

    https://www.babble.com/babble-50/mommy-bloggers/nominate-a-blogger/
    Then it should come up on the page “Nominate a favorite Mommy blogger” scroll down, select alphabetically as the way to sort and find The TRUTH about Motherhood and select
    ‘I like this Blogger”
    Thanks everyone!

    1. The strangest thing I’ve ever eaten is …alligator in New Orleans and rattlesnake and goat in Mexico.

    2. I wouldn’t be caught dead…. naked in public. It’s not pretty anymore and I’m pretty sure I’d give some people heart attacks (not in a good way) and probably be the cause of some in mouth regurgitation! Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Don’t feel pity for me, I can get back into shape…I just gotta get working at it.

    3. When I am 75 I will…. be just like Aunt Sally, she is beautiful inside and out, she lives loud and balls to the wall. She has eeked every ounce of life she can out of her 80+ years. She is my hero. When I am her age, I want to be agile, able, still driving, teasing the boys, funny, uber lovable, enjoying cocktails with my bestest friends. I want to live every single day like its my last, starting now!

    4. If I had to be named after a place I would want to be named… Virginia like the gorgeous state…the place where I left a big chunk of my heart last fall.

    5. My name is “Deborah” – after my Mom’s bestie- “Asuzenna” – a bastardization of my Dad’s little sister’s name Asusana. I love my name, it’s especially funny to hear the way people fuck it up. At high school graduation it was OHSUSANA, at college it was INFLUENZA, and at my wedding it was Insuzensa
    .It’s Ah-SU-ZEE-NA. Now you all know.

    6. My all time favorite photo is…. a photo of the Big Guy and I when we first started dating. We were both in college, terribly young and equally in love. We both have the biggest  smiles on our faces. I look a that picture and I remember how very lucky I am , and all the excitement and love that I felt in that moment to be with him..that picture can carry me through the rest of my life.No matter what kind of day I have, I can look at that picture and know that somewhere in the world the most amazing man I have ever known…loves me!
    The other photo I absolutely adore is one of my girls when Gabs was a week old. I love seeing Bella looking at Gabs with such love, and Gabs looking up to Bella with complete trust and adoration.

    7. If I could afford it… I would pay off all of our debt and our house, then I’d pay off my parents house, and my In laws house for them.If I could afford it, none of my friends and family would want for anything and then I’d take all of our stress free asses on a vacation to Greece.

    * I do normally place my blog hop badges here but for some reason BLOGGER is telling me it has some kind of form error. Sorry, I tried but with the badges, it actually won’t save the post. I’ve lost it twice already. NOT doing it again or I will have to throw this damn laptop!*

    Now on to the FAWK YOUs for the week.

    FAWK YOU to my beloved IMAC.Why must you decide to start flashing that blasted file folder with the question mark on it? I have no answer for you! You have left me very sad, lonely and disappointed.I’ll give you another chance, just please come back to me.sniff* sniff*

    FAWK you to a really hard week of kindergarten recess in which my little one felt ‘left out’. How I friggin hate to watch my girls feelings be hurt or heart broken. SO FAWK YOU growing pains!

    FAWK you to Notre Dame football traffic congesting my downtown  route to Bella’s school.

    FAWK you to bloggers who steal other bloggers content. Have you no original thought in your tiny brain?

    FAWK YOU again for not going all single white female life stealing on my posts. Is it weird that I feel a little left out:)

    FAWK you to this economy that causes the Big Guy to be in yet another state while I am left to single mother it all week. Also, economy thanks for making my girls sad and miss their daddy on a daily basis. Saying good night over the phone or SKYPE is just not the same as a good night kiss from the Big Guy!

    FAWK you to feeling lonely.

    FAWK you to free and easy. I think I want to do every thing hard…live, play, love, and laugh HARD!

  • One is the Loneliest Number~Nutrisystem Update Wk.9

    One is the Loneliest Number~Nutrisystem Update Wk.9

    Nutrisystem, weight loss, diet, healthyI just finished week 9 of Nutrisystem and this week I lost 1 pound. 1.pound. Those 4 pounds I gained at BlogHer are not going down without a fight. But I am not giving up. I can’t give up. Giving up is how I ended up where I am today, 100 pounds away from my goal weight.

    It’s weird how it’s so easy to stay off track once your diet has derailed. I just can’t get my head back in the weight loss game. I need to hit reboot on my healthy lifestyle. I’ve been following the meal plan but I am still not back on track with my daily workouts. The food is the easy part. The Nutrisystem food tastes great but the moving around, the working out, that is essential to losing weight for me. It makes all the difference in the world.

    I get up every morning with the intention to workout but with school getting ready to start back, I’ve been swept up in last minute back-to-school shopping, filling out paperwork and trying to get my girls back into their routine. Life is crazy and it is getting in the way.

    Maybe that is an excuse? Isn’t that how I got here in the first place? Making excuses? Or reasons? Either way, the end result is gaining weight. The end result is me; unhappy in the skin I am in so no more excuses.

    Has this happened to you? Have you started off strong and committed and then life gets in the way and it just seems easier to eat what’s available and not workout? Working out takes effort and you have to be committed to doing it. Thinking about it won’t work. Having good intentions won’t work. You have to get up, put your shoes and go do it. No more excuses. Just do it!

    Want to join me in losing weight and getting healthy on Nutrisystem? You can join Nutrisystem by calling 1-888-853-4689 or visiting https://www.nutrisystem.com/nsblog

    Disclaimer: Nutrisystem is providing my program free of charge for my participation in the Nutrisystem Nation Blogger program but all opinions are honest and my own.

     

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  • Avgolemono Greek Lemon Chicken Soup Recipe

    Avgolemono Greek Lemon Chicken Soup Recipe

    I have partnered with Minute® Rice to share with you the recipe of one of my family’s favorite cold weather, holiday hectic comfort foods; Avgolemono Greek Lemon Chicken soup.

    Have you ever had a food, scent or object that reminded you of home so much that if you were around it, it took you right back to that place? I do, it’s Greek Lemon Chicken soup. It’s chocked full of healthy, comfort foods like fresh chicken, Minute® Rice, a creamy sauce and loads of hearty veggies. It’s even better than it sounds, especially on cold, long winter days.

    There used to be a little café back home run by a little, old Greek couple. I’d gone there since I was in high school with my best friend on Saturday afternoons to talk over our lives and sip on that amazing Greek Lemon Chicken Soup. This continued through our 20’s. If I was home from school, even in the summer time, that Greek Lemon Chicken soup was always a staple. Somehow, it made everything seem possible.

    READ ALSO: Homemade Cranberry Orange Sauce

    Growing up in a Latina home, I’d never had Greek Lemon Chicken Soup before that café and as I got older and moved away, I missed that soup. It always reminded me of home and a time when anything was possible. It was like a giant hug from the inside out. I took my husband there while we were dating. It was like sharing a wonderful secret.

    That little café closed a few years ago but I refused to imagine a world where possibilities weren’t endless and I wanted to share it with my own girls someday. I was really upset at the thought of never getting to have girl talks and share secrets over soup with my daughters as they grew into women.

    I did what any sane, determined mom on a mission would do I came up with a recipe that tastes just as good as the Greek Lemon Chicken Soup and I’ve shared it on several occasions with my girls. We sit around our dinner table and share our days and it is wonderful. The best part is that it makes a huge batch and heats up just as deliciously as it tasted on day one. During the frenzy of the holiday season, this soup is a life saver for the busy family. There is nothing quite so comforting as coming in from sledding to eat a hot bowl of Greek Lemon Chicken Soup and with Minute® Rice it’s done that much sooner.

    READ ALSO: How to Roast the Perfect Turkey

    Here is my recipe for the best Greek Lemon Chicken Soup I’ve ever tasted. I will warn you. It is a labor of love. It takes a little prep time but I’ve found some shortcuts and in the end, the soup is so worth it. The flavor is out of this world and your family will feel the love in each bite.

    avgolemono, greek lemon rice soup, lemons, soup, minute rice, avgolemono, greek lemon rice soup, lemons, soup, minute rice, how to make avgolemono greek lemon rice soup

    Ingredients for Greek Lemon Chicken Soup:

    8 cups of  chicken broth, bought or homemade chicken broth
    2/3 cup of fresh squeezed lemon juice
    1 cup of shredded carrots
    2/3 cup of chopped onion
    1 cup of chopped celery
    6 tablespoons of chicken bouillon
    ½ teaspoon black pepper
    ½ cup of butter
    ½ cup all-purpose flour
    1 cup of cooked white Minute® Rice (you can also use Minute 100% whole grain brown rice, it just take a few more minutes to cook.) Minute® Rice is my favorite because it cooks quickly and is always fluffy.
    3 shredded chicken breasts (I boil the chicken for 1 hour before shredding)
    8 egg yolks

    avgolemono, greek lemon rice soup, lemons, soup, minute rice

    Directions:

    1. In a large pot combine the chicken broth, lemon juice, shredded carrots, onions, celery, chicken bouillon and white pepper.
    2. Bring to a boil on high and let simmer for 20 minutes.
    3. Blend melted butter and flour together. Then, carefully add it to the soup mixture. Simmer for 10 more minutes.
    4. Meanwhile, beat egg yolks until light in color.
    5. Add some of the hot soup to the egg yolks, stirring constantly.
    6. Return egg mix to soup pot and heat through. Add rich and chicken.
    7. Ladle hot soup into bowls.
    8. Enjoy with those you love.

    I guarantee that your family will love this soup and adore you for making it. It quickly became a favorite of our girls. Bonus: it is so hearty that you can make an entire meal of it, no sides needed. Many nights we have enjoyed a bowl of Greek Lemon Chicken soup in front of the fireplace while watching a movie together as a family.

    It also pairs great with your favorite Panini, grilled cheese or a small salad for lunch or dinner. We’ve drawn this soup out to dinner for at least 3 days.

    READ ALSO: How to make Sweet Potato Casserole

    What is your favorite comfort food that reminds you of home?

    avgolemono, greek lemon rice soup, lemons, soup, minute rice, how to make avgolemono greek lemon rice soup

    For more great recipe ideas and information about all the new Minute rice products visit www. Minuterice.com

     

    Photo

    Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written by me on behalf of Minute® Rice

  • How You Can Help a Child Survive the Pandemic

    How You Can Help a Child Survive the Pandemic

    This post is made possible with support from the American Academy of Pediatrics through a cooperative agreement with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. All opinions are my own.

    2020 has been a crazy year. Things have happened to all of us that we never could have imagined. As an adult, it’s been trying. It’s hard to get your bearings when the world feels like it’s on fire. I can only imagine how hard this must be on our children; struggling to make sense of everything and trying to function in this new normal. It’s not normal for any of us. 

    I’ve stayed vigilant these past 9 months since the pandemic began, trying to keep our lives right side up. It takes effort, work, ingenuity, and creativity. I’ve spent the past 15 years trying to help my daughters avoid the pitfalls of ACEs because I suffered them myself and know the effect they can have on a child.  Hopefully, our vigilance as parents being safe nurturing caregivers will help our girls fair better should the pandemic be traumatic.

    READ ALSO: Sending Kids Back to School during a Pandemic

     ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences) are negative childhood experiences that impact children and can have long-lasting effects. There are 10 ACEs, and they fall into 3 categories: 1) Abuse (physical, emotional, or sexual); 2) Neglect (physical or emotional); and 3) Household dysfunction (mental illness, domestic violence, divorce, incarcerated relative, substance abuse). Thankfully, ACEs can be prevented or mitigated when adults and children have strong support systems through individuals or organizations. 

    There are a lot of traumatic things that can happen in a child’s life—including death, pandemics, or natural disasters—over which we have no control, but ACEs can be prevented either directly with help from another person, or indirectly through policy, education, or society changes such as paid family leave or prison sentencing laws. 

    Luckily, I had adults in my life who helped me navigate those ACEs in my life and get through them. Since then, my goal has always been to be an advocate for children and to pay forward the kindness that was given to me by the three people who saved my life without ever knowing it, even more so this holiday season.

    READ ALSO: What Every Mom Needs to Know about Coronavirus

    This is not something difficult. I’m not special. But being there for a kid when they need it most can make a huge difference in their life as it did for me.  We all have the capability to be kind to others, to help others in need, especially children. Experiencing an adverse childhood experience can be traumatic and can set the tone for the quality of life going forward. Having a support system in place can mean the difference between moving through and past hard things in life or getting stuck or even regressing. 

    ACEs, three people who saved my life, childhood, adverse childhood experiences

    This year, coronavirus has taught me a lot of invaluable life lessons. The most important is how important it is to be able to ask for and give help when needed. But kids can’t always do that. Just the way toddlers can’t always verbalize what they feel because of their lack of vocabulary, bigger kids and teens still have difficulty expressing their emotions, especially during a pandemic. It’s hard to turn to the adults in your life for help when they are crumbling under the enormous weight of an international health crisis. We’re all trying our best but sometimes, as parents, just like our kids, we have to be willing to ask for and accept help. 

    ACEs, three people who saved my life, childhood, adverse childhood experiencesThe most important thing is to create safe, stable, and nurturing relationships and environments for our own children and the children around us. This is the foundation upon which their entire lives will be built. This foundation is not only essential to lifelong health and happiness but could even prevent ACEs from happening in the first place. 

    For my own children, I check in daily; sometimes hourly. A big part of being there for them is being present in a time when, honestly, a lot of us just want to check out. Another thing I did was put both of my girls into virtual therapy. I am diabetic (underlying condition) so we have only left the house a handful of times in the past 9 months. The girls are doing school virtually. I’m doing grad school virtually. I’m working virtually. We’ve been wearing masks and quarantining for a long time. There have been no family visits. No friends to talk to in-person or at birthday parties. There was no family Thanksgiving celebration. Our world is pretty much the 4 of us who live in this house and as much as we love one another, it is a lot. I didn’t spend all these years doing everything so my girls didn’t experience ACEs just for the aftermath of a global pandemic to mess everything up so I’ve learned to pivot. I know my limits, and I’m not too proud to ask for help.

    Therapy helps my daughters talk to someone other than me and express any anxieties or fears they might have and don’t want or can’t talk to me about. It’s a pressure release. I’ve also encouraged the girls to video chat with friends and family and encouraged my husband to initiate his own conversations with them. I want them to feel connected even when we’re physically not and feel heard when the world is so noisy. 

    I’ve noticed my daughters’ friends also experiencing these same issues as my girls. I’ve always been the mom who the kids know they can talk to about anything. I’m the mom who isn’t afraid to go to school and speak up for the kid getting bullied. I’m the mom who if I see your child struggling or reaching out for attention, I will tell you. I know it might not be popular with my daughters, but if I see a child talking about depression or suicide (needing help), I will and have reached out to their parents or school officials. I can’t ignore it when it can mean the difference between life and death. The thing is you never know what kind of desperation is behind a social media post (especially during coronavirus), and I just don’t feel comfortable taking that chance. I know it’s not a lot, but it’s a small way that I can provide kindness and advocate on behalf of the children in my life.

    READ ALSO: Surviving Child Abuse

    Being there for children is free. It only takes a willingness to help, time, and genuine concern. This pandemic holiday season, I am going to make sure to send personalized cards to the kids in our lives to let them know they are not alone and we are here to support them. I am also going to take some time to personally call and check in on some of them. I’ll also be checking their social media accounts including the fake accounts their parents know nothing about. The holidays are always a hard time of year for some, but I think this year is hard probably for most. 

    My gift to the children in my life this year is to be one of their three if they need me, like the three people who were there for me when I needed them most. If I can help a child get through these uncertain times by being part of an unconditional support system and providing some stability, that would be a gift to me.

    We’ve all had our three (or more) people in our lives who’ve been there to help us when we needed them most. This holiday season, let’s all pay it forward. Who were the three people who helped create a safe, stable, and nurturing relationship or environment when you were growing up? What will you do to be one of a child’s three this holiday season?

     

  • How to Save a Life with Your Hands

    How to Save a Life with Your Hands

    Disclosure: This is a sponsored post written in partnership with the Anthem Foundation, however, all opinions are my own.

    Do you know CPR? If someone you loved were to collapse to the ground right in front of you, would you know how to appropriately administer CPR or Hands-Only CPR? I’m not sure that I would.

    When I was a teenager, I learned how to give traditional CPR at the Red Cross when I was getting my license to be a lifeguard but I long forget the specifics.  When I was pregnant with Bella, again I took a class at the hospital to learn how to administer CPR but it’s been 12-years since then.

    I don’t work in the medical field and (knock on wood) I haven’t had the misfortune to need to use CPR thus far but that doesn’t mean I won’t. I could. I’m sure many of us will, at some point in our life.

    I’d hate to think that someone, anyone really, my husband, my children, my parents or even just a stranger on the street had a heart attack and died because I never took a refresher course and forgot how to administer CPR appropriately. I’m not sure that I could live with myself if I had to just stand there and couldn’t at least try.

    Did you know that over 350 thousand Americans suffer out-of-hospital cardiac arrests every year, and about 90 percent die. That’s scary. But did you know that Hands-Only CPR, especially if performed immediately, can double or even triple a cardiac arrest victim’s chance of survival. However, less than half of people who suffer out-of-hospital cardiac arrest receive bystander CPR or Hands-Only CPR.

    [video src="https://120517_Video_Anthem%20FINAL.mp4" /]

     

     

    We don’t all need to be doctors but I think we all need to know how to administer basic Hands-Only CPR to at least give someone a shot at surviving until the paramedics arrived. That’s why The Anthem Foundation has awarded the American Heart Association a five-year, 7.8 million dollar grant to bring lifesaving Hands-Only CPR to 100 million Americans.

    Hands-Only CPR has just two easy steps: one, If a teen or adult suddenly collapses, call 9-1-1; and two, Push hard and fast in the center of the chest until help arrives. Remember if you are called on to give Hands-Only CPR in an emergency, you will most likely be trying to save the life of someone you love: a child, a spouse, a parent or a friend. To learn more please visit www.heart.org/handsonlycpr and www.anthem.foundation.

    If you want to learn Hands-Only CPR please check an American Heart Association video here.

  • Throat Punch Thursday ~ Dress code; No PJs for YOU Edition

    Throat Punch Thursday ~ Dress code; No PJs for YOU Edition

     

    Throat Punch Thursday~Dress Code for Parents at drop off, dress codes, parents, craziness

    Dress code for parents at Drop Off ~ My daughter goes to private elementary school and I love her school. It keeps the focus on academics and spirituality and that is super cool because that is why I’m spending my life savings getting my girls the education and environment that I feel is most conducive to them being good, intelligent, respectable people in the world. Basically, I spend all of my hard earned money so that your world can be filled with great people. I can put up with all the SCRIP and SCRAP, festivals and the plethora of volunteering duties. Hell, I’ll even run the damn Fall carnival , room mother both my girls and rule the entire HASA but damn it, nobody better tell me what I can or can’t wear to drop off my children at school. Seriously, dress code for parents? Isn’t that a violation of one of my amendments? It’s not like I’m going to jump out of the car in my footed duckie jams and dance a jig using jazz hands while screaming “Superstar”. I just want to be able to not have a fashion crisis before 8 am every morning. As long as I’m not showing up naked  or mostly naked, where as I am accosting the children, leave me be.

    I don’t judge you, don’t give me a dress code.

    dress code for parents, dress code, parents

    Dress Code for Parents, I don’t think so

    Apparently, there is an elementary school somewhere in the world where they have implemented a dress code for parents when dropping off and picking up their children. Parents must conform to the same rigorous dress code guidelines as their children. So what? Now, they want me to wear a flipping uniform to pick up my kids? Heil Hitler? What are they the effing dress code Nazis? I’m not one of those moms who drives all over town in her pajama pants, rollers and dirty t-shirt that the baby spat up on last night. But I am most definitely holding my own in sweat pant purgatory. Hey, I’m not proud of my lack of unleashing my inner fashionista but damn it I have two kids to get ready,feed, dress, lug to the opposite side of town and at two separate schools, not to mention, I actually do go directly to the personal trainers on most days. Hey, at least I’m not pulling up in a minivan and that’s something. I am dressed appropriately for my morning. Hell yes, I wear yoga pants and sweat shirts most days, especially in the morning. I am abiding by what I assume is pretty much standard dress code for parents everywhere.Well, except for that one bitch who must get up at 5 am to wiggle into those damn skinny jeans and high heels. MILF my ass, she’s making the rest of us look bad because of her daddy issues. I’m pretty sure these would be her pajamas. In that case, I agree no lingerie for drop off  because all the dad’s would be ass ending one another (No that’s not a euphemism).

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    throat punch thursday~Dress code;No PJs for YOU edition, dress code, moms, school,education, elementary school
    This I could see as inappropriate at drop off.I'm pretty sure she'd make all the Dads wreck and possibly kill Sister Mary.

    Thank God and Mary too, that our school has had the good sense to not implement any such craziness. I think for what I pay in tuition, I should be able to wear whatever I want to drop my kids off as long as they are clean, well coiffed and dressed appropriately. I don’t think my stint in sweat pant purgatory should have any bearing on my kids’ education. I am pretty sure that my yoga pants are not so offensive as to cause my children’s brain cells to actually spontaneously combust the moment their eyes fall in my general direction. I could be wrong but, since this is my blog, I  say hell no to the dress code and throat punch to any school who tries to dictate what parents are allowed to wear.

    throat punch thursday~Dress code;No PJs for YOU edition, dress code, moms, school,education, elementary school

    Dress code for parents;violation of my inalienable rights!

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  • The Secret Life of the American Teenager

    The Secret Life of the American Teenager

    Raising a teen is hard. Being a teen is hard. I know a lot of us parents complain about our teens and how inconvenient their ever-changing moods are. We wonder where our sweet little children have gone and why in his/her place a grouchy, nonverbal awkward almost adult has arrived. Maybe we need to look a little deeper and exercise a little more patience.

    Sometimes, I can be overbearing and dismissive. I’m tired and my life is pretty monotonous. I know after 14 years, sometimes I run on autopilot. We get so caught up in our own inner dialogue that we forget that everything our children do is not always just to make our lives harder, even though it may feel like it at times. For example, my girls bicker almost constantly and it’s become something that I’ve begun to take personally because I feel like they do it in spite of my requests for them to stop. It almost feels like a collateral act of defiance. I’m trying to step back and see the whole picture, take into consideration that maybe they’re going through something that I’m missing.

    Which brings me to the entire point of this post. Children of all ages who are experiencing anxiety and how they express those feelings. My daughter has been suffering from chronic sinus issues for the last couple of years. This year, it has been particularly bad. She’s already had 5 sinus infections since the beginning of the school year. Per our pediatrician, she is on meds to control her allergies and prevent the subsequent sinus infections that follow any sort of congestion, but that no longer seems to be helping.

    READ ALSO: Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words

    It’s gotten so bad that she is getting migraines which, if you’ve ever had chronic sinus issues, you know, is debilitating. She’s starting to feel like she’s sick and she’s not getting better. She doesn’t understand and neither do I. We do what we’re supposed to. We go to the doctor. We follow her instructions and still my child is sick. Today, we are seeing a specialist, an allergist, because we have to get to the bottom of this.

    We love our pediatrician and I trust doctors. I have close friends and family members who are doctors, so I have no problem with doctors. But when your child isn’t getting better, you have to advocate no matter who it is or whose feelings it might hurt. This is where I am today.

    The thing is we’re at a point now where my daughters is in such pain that the thought of being at school with no one to help her sends her into a panic. Her anxiety kicks in and she is practically immobilized. I’m talking, gets to the office at school and goes into flight mode. The other day her sinus infection was so bad and she couldn’t be medicated because of tests, she cried for 3 hours in the nurse’s office before they called me to bring her home.

    How can I send her to school when she is so obviously in pain and, on top of that, terrified of not knowing why it won’t go away. Which, I won’t lie, I am getting concerned myself. I’m thinking if this appointment with the specialist doesn’t give us answers, maybe we need an MRI. I won’t say that to my daughter and I can’t lead on that I’m more worried than she thinks I am. As her mom, it’s my job to keep my shit together while handling business on the backend.

    READ ALSO: When You Just Need a Moment for Yourself

    I’m trying to stay cool but I get why she is having this anxiety of the unknown. I try to keep her comfortable. I have chronic sinus and allergy issues too. I get migraines. I know how painful all of this is but when I’m sick, I have the luxury of burying myself in bed. When she’s sick, she still has to show up but lately, even when she’s showing up, she’s not really because she’s so preoccupied by the pain.

    I guess what I’m saying is that sometimes kids and teens are not jerks just for the sake of being a pain in the butt. Most times, there is something behind it. Whether it be anger, worry, fear or embarrassment. Sometimes even teenagers can’t use their words to tell us how they’re feeling. They are like toddlers in that way.

    They say things like, “I’m tired”, “My head hurts”, “My stomach hurts” all very non-specifically and for a parent that can be frustrating because you feel like maybe they are trying to get something over on you. A long time ago, I started going deeper on my questioning (once we rule out that it’s not an actual physical ailment) I ask, “has anything happened at school?”, “Did a friend say something that hurt your feelings?”, “Did a boy say something that made you feel weird?”, “Did a teacher get too close?” “Did anyone make you feel uncomfortable or compromised in any way?” Sometimes, the answers will come out without them having to find the words.

    READ ALSO: Parents who Send Sick Kids to School are the Worst

    But in this situation, my daughter is actually sick. I’ve been to the pediatrician so many times this year that I feel like I should get frequent flyer miles. I’m also not too sure they don’t have me on some weird mom Munchausen by proxy watch list. It’s embarrassing but every time I take her in, there is actually something wrong with her. So it’s not in either one of our heads. I know how to advocate for my children and I’ll do whatever I need to get them healthy but how do I help them deal with their anxiety?

    As a mom, how do you differentiate between your child being legit run of the mill fear of something and having brain chemistry induced anxiety attack about it? One might only need a hug but the other might need a professional. What would you do if your teenage girl was experiencing anxiety while suffering a physical illness?

    Update: Allergy tests showed that she is allergic to every Midwestern allergen except cats. We have a dog. The allergens are triggering sinus infections. If your kid keeps getting sinus infections, it might be worth a trip to the allergist. Also, I will write some posts next week to help your kids deal with sinus issues, give you the low down on allergy tests on kids and teens and the symptoms of anxiety in teenagers. Basically, I’ll help you understand the secret life of the American teenager. We’ll all get through this together.