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The TRUTH About Motherhood

Search results for: “american girl”

  • GOOOOOALLLLL! Hottie footballers of the World Cup 2010!

    Hey, pay attention ladies. I know you are distracted by the on fire Hotties in their undies above. These are just a few reasons to support, love and embrace soccer! Yes, I sure could embrace me some soccer right about…now! Anyways, back to our regularly scheduled programming…
    I don’t consider myself a huge sports fanatic but I am an avid supporter of Chicago sports teams…Go BLACKHAWKS!!! Sniff*Sniff*I’m still on the Stanley cup high. What next? The Cubbies..breaking the curse! Oh, a girl can dream!  ( sorry, I had to give the shout out to my team who FINALLY won the Stanley!!!!)
    But, aside from hockey my big love is Football “SOCCER”. I come from a long line of footballers and I swear its in our blood. My Daddy, all my uncles, My Grandpa, all my cousins, nieces and nephews and even my girls and myself…we’ve all played the sport. Hell, I even married a soccer player. So of course today, while my beloved Hawks were celebrating parade style, I was planted in front of my television watching the opening round robin games of the WORLD CUP 2010!! The only other place I could have possibly been was Soccer City in Johannesburg! That being said, I had to share with you some of the many reasons that I absolutely adore soccer and will watch it for hours on end…..

    You lovely French bastard, Oui, Oui, Oui!!! Baby, a thousand times OUI!

    HOOOLLLEEE SHIT! GOAL!!!! Can I be the football?

     Smooth like Barry White, baby! Soccer, you are so beautiful to me!

    You can pretend that I am the ball…Please catch me!

    Not my favorite..but he does kiss his wedding ring before his games. You get extra hottie points for loving your wife! Lucky bitch!

    Seriously, does it get any hotter than Cristiano Ronaldo? Lord, I am burning up in here. Any of you ladies feel the heat? Well, soccer is nothing if not sexxy. Gotta go. Gotta get my beauty rest so I can watch all the hotties run around the field tomorrow! Just thinking about it is getting me all hot and bothered.

    Oh , I forgot….KAKA! That’s all you need to know about this Brazilian beauty! He is smokin hot and can play his ass off!

    Happy World Cup 2010! Have you hugged your soccer player today? Better get right on that! Sweet dreams, ladies! GOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLL!!!!!!

  • Immigration Laws that Allow us to Shoot Kids on Sight

    I’ve been biting my tongue on this whole border/immigration issue but this…this is too much.

    I am saddened and embarrassed by what has become of our borders and immigration laws. What happened to
    “Give me your tired, your poor,
    Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
    The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
    Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me.
    I lift my lamp beside the golden door.” ? 
    Was it all a bunch of bullshit? Was there a statute of limitations on how long that rang true?

    https://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32545640

    For the full story please read here

    Well,I’ve seen this story in print and on video and any way you slice it, it makes me sick.  First, of all, depending on the source this kid was either 14 or 15, he was small, and he was with a group of other individuals who may or may not have been smugglers or smuglees. The agent may or may not have been male or female. I  guess its all a matter of who is telling it and how they want to spin it.

    From gathering the evidence, I’d say it was a kid who was being an asshole with his friends. They started throwing rocks ( not wielding rifles or machetes) at border patrol, very infantile and stupid, but not a crime punishable by death. I love how the video says that the agent was surrounded and then mentions that many border patrol have sustained head wounds from the rock throwing that goes on at the border. How ironic, she could have been hit in the head by a rock but instead he got a bullet through his brain.

    I am NOT condoning these kids behavior and I suspect that FBI Special Agent Andrea Simmons was scared with rapid fire rocks being hurled at her head while trying to contain a suspect. Who wouldn’t be? I, myself, would have been scared shitless. But if the border wasn’t in such a shitty way these days, things wouldn’t have escalated and this agent wouldn’t have been so mentally on high alert. The whole immigration situation is ridiculous. Who in the hell thinks its punishable by death to try and find a better way of life for yourself and your family?

    I understand the whole, do it legally argument. I agree, but sometimes desperate times call for desperate measures. If your children are starving in a third world country you do what you have to to get them out of that situation. This country was founded as a refuge for immigrants;  a safe haven for those in search of a better life. Now, we decide to change the rules?

    Now, we decide its OK to shoot some Mother’s child simply for trying to gain entrance? I don’t understand how we can live in  a time in history when it is alright to shoot immigrants HUMAN BEINGS for minor infractions of the law and to kill all the animals in the ocean with an unstoppable oil spill. Who’s running this circus? Are you really telling me with all that we can do and all the technology we have, we can not get along,respect our fellow man, or our planet? I think we all need to take a step back and examine just what kind of people we want to be? What kind of world do we want to be a part of? What legacy do we want to leave on the history books for our children?

    Should breaking the immigration laws be punishable by death?

  • Future Housewives of New Jersey!

    My little fashionista! You can always tell when they dress themselves!

    Strike a pose!

    Part Good night Cleveland; part Oh what a feeling …Toyota!

    Show Mama your Zoolander face!

    Look at the little one..look at all that sass! No wonder the Modeling agencies wan to represent these girls!

    Give me your best gangsta swagger ,little one! Big Sis..you keep on with the oh what a feeling pose!

    Oh shit! Its the Saturday Night Fever walk…”ah, ah, ah, ah..Stayin’ Alive, Staying Alive!”

    Seriously Mom, my fashion sense is beyond reproach.
    Hey, Little girl, Minnie Pearl called and she wants her clothes back!

    Warning: Only tiny divas can pull off such cracked out ensembles. Grown women, please do not try this at home lest you want to be ridiculed and mocked forevermore by your children!

  • Bloggy Friends are People too!

    Now that Blogger has stopped acting like a complete asshole! OMG..I was totally fiending to post last night and Blogger decided to hold my blog hostage..no posting allowed. Not fair! Boo!!! OK, now that that’s out of the way. I’m sorry , it had to be said!
    I spend my days immersed in my children; their lives, their activities, their wants,their needs. That’s what us Mommies do, right? I love it..most of the time but it doesn’t leave much time for a social life. I am all about Mommy Nights Out, friendship, sisterhood. I won’t pass up a good friend, coffee and conversation on the deck. A long walk , talking with a good girlfriend. Oh my good, can it get any better than that? Or maybe, some cocktails and tapas, where you have a few hours to just really be yourselves and talk about anything and everything. My God, in these days, I am sufficiently satisfied with  a great text conversation or IM session. We take what we get and we don’t get upset. That’s my 5 year olds mantra. I have adopted it , as well. The main point being that we women, and even more so once you become a Mommy, we really need our friendships. These are the women who can see past the poop, spit up, disheveled hair, work out clothes, no makeup, cereal fixing for dinner days and see us as human beings and not just Mommies. They are what tethers our sanity and sustains us when we are looking into the jaws of hell with a colicky newborn, a tantrum prone toddler, or a Ms. Sassy pants kindergartner. They are who see us for who we really are…not just a woman but…insert your name here!
    I do have a few fantastic friends, a couple are even local but most are spread all over the country. This, I must say, sucks! I have found myself in a very odd predicament lately. I don’ get to travel very much , just because of the constant chaos that is my life and the aforementioned immersion into the girls world, so most communication has been maintained through the internet and/or my new bestest friend..my Iphone ( oh, how I love that bitch!). So, its really no wonder or even great stretch of the imagination that since I was already communicating with my friends via technology that I soon found myself relating stories to my husband and referring to my “friends”. My husband, nosy asshole that he is, always asks, “Who are you talking about?” Me: “My friend, you don’t know them!” (yeah, because I get out so much and have so many friends that he has never met). He persists and I realize that I have to reveal that the “friend” to which I am referring is a fellow blogger. He finds this hysterical . I can see the condemnation in his eyes, followed by the ” you poor sad girl you have no real friends” look. Then I feel ashamed because its sorta like revealing that your “best friend” is imaginary or the “boyfriend” you spent your sophomore summer with is actually a picture from a magazine. Oh the horror.
    But really, its not like that at all, is it? I speak to you daily, with the exception of the weekends which I reserve for my family. I tell you my intimate secrets, and you tell me yours..probably over coffee ( in our own houses but I am sure coffee or cocktails are probably involved at least some of the time). Hell, you know things about me that my own family doesn’t know..because you are here and you listen. You’re such good listeners. I wish all my friends listened as well. I mean, I have to take your word for it that you are not Elvis-impersonating, hookah-smoking, spray-on-cheese-eating, sequined-pants-wearing, organ-peddling, identity-stealing 287-year-old cyborgs ( to learn more about that please go read this hilarious post by Naomi  at organicmotherhoodwithcoolwhip.com)  .
    Of course you’ve got to take my word for it that I’m not a Benny Hill wannabee, slathered up in honey and feathers, rubbing my head while writing my posts about my imaginary children. Nah, You know I’m not..who could make this shit up?

    I guess what I am really trying to say is Thank you to my bloggy friends for sharing and listening, and thank you to my besties who I have met in person…for reading my blog, knowing my flavor of crazy,and sticking around anyway! What would I do without you all? So, keep the stories coming and when I relate them to my husband …I’ll just use your name and not your..@.com 🙂 Happy Mothering to all my friends!

  • And the Award for the world’s WORST MOM goes to…..

     This is a very disturbing clip. Last year, bus driver Michael Hubbard was doing his routine night run when he came within inches of running over a baby sitting in the middle of the street. The baby, Destiny, got out of her house because it is believed the door was unlocked. Now Catherine Gonzales, Destiny’s mother, is in danger of losing her children to San Antonio, Texas Child Services

    “It could happen to anybody in the world” ???Are you freaking kidding me?? I don’t think so!!! This bitch is crazy! Baby Destiny was 14 months old, what the hell was the kid doing up that late? They said “the girls were getting ready for bed”? What 14 month old baby gets themselves ready for bed at that time of night? Shouldn’t that little girl have been sleeping for 4+ hours already? Catherine, the award winning mother, said “How could that happen”? It happened because you were sitting on your fat ass NOT watching your kids!!! Hey Cathy…you suck and I hope Child protective services does just that…protects your girls! Get a clue and pay attention to your girls! “things like this do happen”? No, things like this don’t happen! You are most deserving of the World’s Worst Mom and perhaps even warranting a special appearance on this week’s Throat Punch Thursday! 12 feet woman! That’s all that came between your baby and a bus! Think about that!

  • You kiss your Mother with that mouth?

    God knows I have two of the most precious, beautiful little princesses to ever walk the face of the earth but some of the things that come out of their mouths…well, not so princess like. For instance, this morning, this is what I heard at my breakfast table..
     Gabs: “Me faaaarted!” (apparently, she was having a little issue with flatulence) .
    Bella: “Gabs!!!! You don’t just fart and say  ‘Me Farted” . You say, “Excuse me. I farted, OK?” ( almost like, do you have a problem with that.) Mind you I am sitting at the table absolutely losing it, I am literally in tears.. It continues on…
    Gabs:”NO, me say- Me FAAAAARTED!” (Uncontrollable maniacal laughing ensues.)
    Bella (completely unamused) “What are you going to do when you are in school? (She’s so mature just because she is starting Kindergarten next year. What a big girl!) “Gabs, you have to say EXCUSE ME!”
    Gabs: “Why?”
    Bella:”Because its rude!!” (She has almost exhausted her very last nerve. I seem to be familiar with that feeling).
    Gabs: “WHHHHHHY?” (All exasperated and fed up with Bella’s nagging!)
    Bella: “Because it Stinks!!”(Huff Puff)
    Gabs: “Me NO Stink!”(completely indignant).
    Bella: “What? Are you just going to fart and run away??”
    Gabs: (So completely over the conversation) “Yeah, me run away!” And she got up and left the table!
    I was in awe of this conversation because Bella was being so mature and trying to explain manners to her 2 year old sister and because Gabs was completely loving driving her sister bananas. She knows to say excuse me, she just thinks its funny to irritate her sister by announcing the fact that she has broke wind. Oh , my princess, I’m so proud of her fearlessness.

       Gabs: She looks sweet, right? Don’t be fooled!

    Bella: All business; no time for your shenanigans Gabs! I’m calling Daddy! You’re in trouble!

  • Where’s that damn forest?

    I’m looking over some recent pictures of my girls today and I notice something that stuns and really bothers me.Gabi looks like she is in a constant state of dishevelment ( this kid will not keep her hair pulled back. I can fix it 30 times a day and she still ends up looking like cousin  Oscar from the Brady bunch, or Joey Ramone, or any other long haired Joey you can imagine). This is not acceptable. Bella never went in public with her hair looking in such a state.Speaking of Bella, my beautiful free-spirited, always giggling Bella, now in her pictures she looks like she is unhappy. She is smiling but the gleam that used to be there is not there anymore and it breaks my heart. She is a tough bird. She is definitely the suck it up and chin up kinda girl. You never see her down, she won’t let you. She makes the most of all situations even if they are less than desirable. She is her Mommy’s daughter in that way.But pictures don’t lie, she looks sad in the way only a Mama would know. She’s missing her friends, her school, her play dates, her life. But she won’t complain because she is so smart and she knows this is the situation. This should not be the concern of a 5 year old.I also notice that I am suspiciously absent from most pictures these days because, to be honest, I feel as if through this last move..I’ve lost control. I’ve reverted back to my workout clothes as acceptable public clothing ( which they are not unless you are actually in the middle of working out) , I never have time to workout ( adding more guilt because I feel like the worst role model on the face of the earth), my straightener who I was using religiously has given way to the ‘ponytail’. There never seems to be enough hours in the day to accomplish all the things that I want or need to do.It’s not Gabi’s hair, my absence of interest in how I look, that’s bothering me, its the fact that the hair is a reflection of what has been going on in our lives over the past few months.It’s the light gone out of Bella’s eyes, the genuine happiness she used to radiate. Here’s how it went down; Daddy has job, Daddy loses job, Daddy gets new job, we move across the country,job down sizes Daddy after 8 months, we move back to original home ( since it never sold) , Daddy gets new job, Daddy moves to Iowa, we stay behind because job is contract. It has been madness all the way round…crippling madness.The girls cry every other night for their Daddy to tuck them in, to play with them outside, to do all the Daddy stuff that he’s always done. I think I am doing an OK job of functioning normally when Daddy is gone but obviously not. I know it, the girls have caught on and I have to change it. But how do I force myself to pull it all together when I am seriously doing the best that I can with the cards I was dealt? To make matters worse, I can’t even talk about it to anyone because…my friends here probably think “Jesus, get over it. You are home.You should be happy”. My friends still living where we most recently left, well, I am bitter because I miss them so damn much and I am here and they are there and I feel displaced. Nothing worse than feeling like life is moving on even though you are not there:)Yes, the world does not revolve around me..once again I am painfully reminded. I can’t talk to my husband because I don’t want to lay that kind of guilt on him. I know him, he’d quit and come home but then where would we be? I just keep telling myself, the best thing for us is right around the corner. I know it.There is no way we’ve gone through all this over the past 2 years for nothing ( God, I hope not).I can’t talk to my family because quite frankly, if you’ve not been in the situation you can not imagine how hard it is. It’s like childbirth, even if I told you ,you wouldn’t believe it and even if you did..you could never fathom the gaping void it leaves in your world. Here I sit, writing it all out hoping to find some catharsis. I may not be able to fix this ‘situation’ but I can fix my reaction to it. So, tomorrow, whether I feel like it or not, I will be getting “ready” before going into public. I will make myself ,once again, a priority. Because, baby, you are what you think you are and if I don’t think I am worth it, neither will anyone else. But most importantly, I am making tomorrow Bella and Gabi Day, as will be every day from now on ( well, at least most days..once in a blue moon Mama may need to keep herself sane:). For now, I have to chin up and chest out. I’m bringing back that gleam in my baby’s eyes, no matter what it takes.I just wish it didn’t take me having to look at pictures to realize what was going on right in front of me. I guess its true, sometimes you can’t see the forest for the trees.

    Happy! Last year before “the move” and all the chaos!

    Messy hair, disingenuous happiness!

  • MIne, Mine….all mine!

    My daughters have a lot of things. Lots of clothes, toys, gizmos  and gadgets. Between their Father and I trying to provide them with all that they want, myself not being able to pass up cute matching outfits, and Grandparents spoiling them rotten..well, they have acquired a lot of really cute shit in their short time with us.
    I have problems parting with some it for several reasons. These are some of the ways I rationalize hoarding all this stuff; I may have another one (probably not but just in case), they wore that on this day and it was so special,  Great Grandma so and so gave that to them from the old country, I will never find that again and the minute I part with it I’ll need it, it was mine when I was little, the person who gave it to them loves them so much I don’t want to hurt their feelings by getting rid of it. All of these reasons and a few more keep my house chalked full of kids crap. It looks like Babys R Us and Toys R Us had a baby and it lives at my house. Now, I did try and part with some( not much)  of it last year in our neighborhood garage sale. Of course, I wanted to beat the people over the head with a hammer who had the audacity to try to haggle the already low prices of my children’s baby years. Didn’t they realize the bargain they were getting ? And how many hours I had labored over the decision to part with any of it? Heartless bastards! But I did it. Now, there are things I refuse to part with because I want to pass down to their children or I will make a part of the quilt that I swear I will make both of them with special baby clothes that I hold the dearest, despite the fact that I have absolutely no idea how to quilt. On these items, my mind is made up.
    The annual garage sale is coming up and my MIL has been all up my ass probing to ask : “Have you got all your stuff around?” Me: (in my mind) “NO!! Who said I was parting with one more stitch of my childrens past??? Heartless bitch!!” Then there is my Mom, who I adore , but if she says one more time ” WOW! I can’t believe all of the stuff your sister is going to get when she has a little girl (implying somehow that I am required to just hand over all of my girls’ stuff). Oh yeah, and my sister says the same thing. Might I add, she is not even pregnant nor is she in any stage of getting pregnant..she’s just calling dibs!
    Seriously, why do they think this? They didn’t buy it for me in the first place, what the hell makes them think I am obliged to give it to them? Secondly, who made this rule that just because I have it, I gotta give it to them? It’s like they think after I have already invested all the time and money, to make sure everything was just so fro my girls, I should just make it easy on them and hand it all over. I know I sound crazy but this is a sore spot for me. It would be like me walking into my Mom’s house and saying, “Wow! When you bite it, I’m gonna be one lucky bitch!” WTF??? Call me crazy, but when the hell did everyone else get the right to tell me when and how to dispose of my babies memories? I may just hold on to all this shit until my girls have their own children. I may have to add a second floor to store it all but that’s my prerogative. And I swear to God, if one more person gives me the “WOW! So and so is going to be so lucky to get all your shit”, I may just punch them square in their throat! See how easy it is to stake your claim on my stuff then!

  • Truthful Tuesday’s; May 11,2010

    Ok,  I know I am not so good at always remembering to vent on Truthful Tuesdays. How am I suppose to be a good example if I don’t even vent myself? So here, I go. Keep in mind, I had to dig deep to find something that made my life not perfect today:)

    I’ve decided that I hate, absolutely hate, splinters. Yes, seems the little bastards have declared war on my girl,Gabs. Pobresita. Any idea how hard it is to remove splinters from a 2 year old drama queen in complete hysterics? It is absolutely  exhausting , for all involved. Did I mention she had 6 splinters in 2 days? Oh my, hate to say it but its looking more and more like she will be wearing gloves and socks and shoes all summer long. The trauma the splinters are causing is too much.
    I’ve also have to confess that I saw a blog the other day titled something like  A Mommy blog that is about more than just complaining! WTF?? Seriously? I don’t spend all my blogging time complaining. I try to be truthful, it’s not all sunshine and roses but its not all dark clouds and doom either. I think its pretty shitty that she would just assume that all other Mommy Blogs are riddled with complaining! I think that she is kinda a douche!
    I’m also going to be honest about the fact that the crappy monsoon weather coupled with the bitter cold has had me in a funk. I’ve pretty much not felt like leaving the house and my children have been working my very last nerve. Oh yeah, tonight my 2 year old decided to piss my bed. She wasn’t sleeping when it happened. I asked her why and her answer was this ,”Actually, I made up my mind and I did it!” What? First of all, where did the “Me” go? Usually, its “Me, this or Me that”. And why so defiant today? Why you gotta kick Mommy when she’s down? Couldn’t she have taken this stance about something like human rights, or the ethical treatment of animals, becoming the first woman president…why just randomly pissing on my bed?? What did I do to deserve the honor of being her first decided asshole maneuver? After much probing, she changed her answer to say that she couldn’t get in to the bathroom so she peed my bed. Seriously, did she just think to herself…”Hey, Mommy’s bed kinda looks like a toilet. I think I will piss there!” Yes, this has been the kind of day it has been. I’d say its been shitty, but I guess its really been pissy.
    Screw you non complaining Mommy blogger..you’re just not complaining because either you are in denial or you are an effing LIAR!!! That’s right, I can say that…its my blog!

  • Be A Better Me (You) Challenge- Days 24-26 ~ Celebrate YOUR assets

    In celebration of my birthday this weekend (yes, I’m turning 30….again!), we are going to have an entire weekend long challenge. Today’s Be A Better Me (You) Challenge- Days 24-26 ~ Celebrate YOUR assets! You heard me right. No matter what complaints you have about your life or maybe wish you could change some things, you’ve got assets girl. You may have forgotten about them because you’re too busy being obsessed with everyone else in the families …everything. But they are there. Maybe its your brilliant mind, maybe you are a social guru, maybe you’re a damn brain surgeon, maybe you are gorgeous, maybe your eyes are bluer than the ocean, maybe your lips are perfectly round, maybe you have the most amazing cooking skills, maybe you can sing like an angel, maybe you are a damn word wizard, maybe you are the most dedicated friend a person could have, maybe you are a rocking athlete, maybe you are genuine, maybe you are empathetic, maybe you are a sales woman,  a butcher, a baker,a  candlestick maker…You get the point. Take a minute to think about it and flaunt it. When you utilize your assets, you feel productive and you feel confident because its YOU! You’re not trying to keep up to some impossible standard, you got this. You know you do. I don’t care what it is, immerse yourself in it this weekend!
    Me, well, lets be honest… in my family, birthdays are a BIG  FREAKING DEAL..its not doom and gloom because you are another year older. It’s  celebrating your ass off because you have lived another year in this world with your amazing friends and family. You count your blessings, have some drinks, an amazing meal, and celebrate you and your life with those you love! Believe me, I will be celebrating all of my assets with the people I love most in the world… all weekend! Try  focusing on all that you’ve accomplished rather than what you want to accomplish this weekend. Take an inventory and be proud of your contribution to the world! You are amazing!

    And a Shout out to my Big Little brother, Carlitos! Happy 28th Birthday ( Again). Wish we could celebrate it together like we did when we were little..with our shared birthday cake! Love YOU!!!

    What a smart boy you were! From the beginning I knew you were something special!

    Sharing one of many of our many celebrations together!

    You really were the most adorable thing EVER!

    Always my best friend and now we are that much closer because we are godparents to each others kids! I am so proud of the man you have become! You are an amazing Father, Husband, Son, Brother, Best Friend,  Coach, Soccer player. You are capable of such greatness! I can’t wait to celebrate another birthday together with you.Love you Forever and then another day or so:) 
    We may be separated by geography but you are always in my heart, little brother!

    All the brothers and sisters + baby Gabs in my Tummy, minus baby brother, celebrating our birthday 4 years ago.

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