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There’s plenty of books about what you are supposed to do while pregnant. Even so, it seems there is so much information that is withheld from them. Whether it’s your first pregnancy or your sixth, each one is different. So let’s talk about it; this is what pregnancy is really like.
These are the top ten things no one tells you about pregnancy.
- Pregnant women: your smelling powers will become so heightened that you will be able to smell a cookie baking 30 miles away. Unfortunately, no one ever tells you that you will also be able to smell food burning in a wok in China.
- Mom: You will have all sorts of unexpected medical issues, and some may or may not go away after the pregnancy. Your blood circulation will be affected, so it won’t be a good idea to just lay there, which is just about all you can do, for too long. Your legs might develop varicose veins, and those don’t look pretty.
- Mama: your morning sickness can actually be all day sickness if you’re not careful. Watch what you eat, and avoid what doesn’t seem to be agreeing with you. Also, invest in some sea sickness bands and mints. They literally got me through the first 7 months of pregnancy twice.
READ ALSO: What Giving Birth Feels Like
- Mami: the same outrageous hormonal highs and lows that make you picture yourself smacking a random passerby for looking at your baby bump will be the very same that make you cry when a fly lands on your shoulder.
- Ma; your pregnancy glow is actually increased blood flow causing you to sweat quite a bit. Also, the increased hormones that cause the glow brings with it increased susceptibility to acne. Better start looking at creams that can help you with that ahead of time.
READ ALSO: Stages of Second Baby Syndrome
There are more, many more, but I feel I have scared the first time mothers sufficiently for now. Happy procreating and remember, there are many things you can do to prepare for what’s coming. Your struggling future self will thank you.
48 comments
hahahahha! this should be required reading 🙂
Vomit and/or poop on the birthing table… yep and yep 😉
Vomit for sure for me. I was told with complete certainty that I did avoid the whole poop on the table scenario.Well, thats what my husband told me..because my eyes were pleading to tell me that I didn’t. Whether or not I really did, we will never know. I saw nothing, I felt nothing. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.LOL
I was beyond terrified of pooping during delivery. My husband assures me I didn’t. It never occurred to me that I’d vomit – I did. Oh, that epidural couldn’t come fast enough.
It never can. My anesthesiologist was in surgery and by the time he got to me, I had endured the hell of transition labor and was fully dilated.Not cool
Lol! I love this because I can see myself in all of these. Thank God baby girl is here!
Jess, I am so glad that little beauty is on the outside as well:)XO
laughing so loud i nearly wet my pants (oh yeah another side effect of pregnancy that no-one cared to mention…)
Susan,
My friend, I did mention…right here https://aiminglow.com/2011/06/guest-post-that-gerbil-your-pocket-or-just-happy-see-me/
LOL! I think you will see that I covered it quite in depth:)
by ‘no-one’ i meant the books not you!!! but will read your article and laugh some more.
seriously, if someone had put all that stuff in a book I wouldn’t have believed them, and if i had, i wouldn’t be here to tell the story – it would have been a tubal ligation straight away!
here’s an out there question for those of you in the northern hemsiphere…why are you made to lie on a bed to deliver a baby (surely the worst position EVER!) and why is it always portayed that way in the movies/on TV…
i don’t know a single person in this neck of the woods who delivered (vjjj-like) a baby on their back!
Yeah, its not the smartest position, its pretty counter intuitive when you think about how gravity works:) We just like things to be as hard as possible, apparently.LOL
hahaha! This post is THE BEST!! If only I would have known these the before I got pregnant!
Lauren,
I am thinking more and more that I should write a book..with the truth written between the pages, for once:)
If someone would have told me the TRUTH, I wouldn;t have believed them:)
too funny! i had to nod my head in agreement to more than a few of these!
I know right? I was writing the list and it ended up with about 40 things every mom should know. I may have to make an entire series.
The smell thing? I had no idea! I was at my parents’ house and I was going INSANE. I kept smelling vinegar and people were like ‘what is your problem??”
Turns out, like a tsp of vinegar had spilled on their counter. I should have known I was pregnant then.
Stephanie,
The smell thing is the worst. I had a student who smelled of fried food every single day and made me vomit, every single day upon his entrance for 5 months!
Poor kid, probably wondered what the hell was wrong with Ms. Debi:)
Lush Dream Cream is the only reason I had any skin left. I’ve never had such dry, itchy skin in my life.
I landscaped til the day I popped. It was like shaving by Braille. I remember my nurse asking how I managed it and I said luck. Looking back, I can’t figure out how I managed to do it.
Samantha,
I too did landscape until the end but I cant say that it looked very good. I shaved what I could feel or sneak a peak at but I am pretty sure that when I laid on the delivery table, it looked like my Vajayjay had a mustache:)LOL
So true! I just wrote something the other day about how grooming my bikini area has now become life threateningly dangerous. And you’re right- I won’t ask my husband to do it, because I may fart on him…
Jenni,
Perhaps, a fart tot he face is what all men know to understand what exactly the humiliation of not being able to see out hoohoo really feels like:)LOL I say go for it. You are giving him a baby the least he can do is endure the skunk killing gas:)
I also have big floppy feet now, grew almost a size!
Pobresita Vida,
Better your feet than your ears or your nose:) True story,I’ve seen it happen. For me, the big and floppy was reserved for my arse!
You will leak fluids through much of your pregnancy AND post pregnancy you will need to sit on pads the size of small mattresses to ensure that do not stain your couch/bed/chair/clothing. Your boobs will leak if you nurse your baby and so much as think of him or her.
Oh leaky body syndrome was one of my favorite parts of pregnancy. I was leaking so many different body fluids that I could barely keep straight what was coming from where. now Im more certain, NOW I KNOW Its urine…when I sneeze, cough, laugh, jump, run. …breathe!LOL
I totally agree there are not enough books that tell you the truth lol! Being pregnant for the second time around this time I went Into it with very different expectations. Lol. Very different. Pregnancy is not as glamorous as people think. Lol. -ps. Come follow my new website my dear on GFC 🙂 just launched!!
It’s easier once you lower your expectations and expect the worst:)LOL
I’m 22 weeks pregnant with my first, and I wish somebody had warned me about most of these! I literally thought morning sickness would happen in the mornings and be over. (Funny, I actually just wrote about this on my own blog – http://www.themeditatingmom.com) And I was totally unprepared to smell our kitchen trash can from the other end of the house! The latest thing I’ve discovered that I wish someone had warned me about – lack of bladder control. I totally didn’t expect that, especially this early on! That kid kicks in just the right place and I am running for the bathroom (not that I’m likely to make it in time). All you experienced mommies out there – keep the HONESTY coming. We owe it to each other!
Because I have given birth multiple times.
Because its all about the honesty here.
I have now peed myself three times during reading this. Twice from laughing. Once from coughing from laughing too hard.
It’s ok though, because long ago I traded in the lacy g-strings for cotton absorbency. Besides the lacy strings don’t match the 32Long I wear on the girls.
Hilarious post!
Alycia,
VIVA the cotton absorbancy!LOL 32 Long….Yeah, mine used to be perky 36 Ds now,they are all kinds of hanging low. Pretty soon I’ll have to tuck em in the tops of my pants like my dear old granny. Yeah, there may have to be a surgical intervention. DO your boobs hang low, do they wobble to and fro,canyou tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow…LOL
I wish someone had told me panty liners would be my best friend when pregnant. And after too.
Also? Ankles become cankles.
But I want to do it all again. Crazy much? 🙂
Oh, we all end up wanting to do it again. Fresh baby smell in the morning always suckers us back!LOL My sister had a horrendous 20 hour labor that ended up in a c-section and she’s ready to go back in for another now.
My bladder has never been the same either. I hate having to get up in the middle of the night, sometimes twice, just to pee. I hate it!
Oh yeah, I forgot about the bladder issues. I pee so much, you’d think I sprung a leak.Either way, I’m not taking any chances.
I actually think my mom didn’t know what was causing her symptoms ‘back in the day’. (Did I just age myself?) LOL
They were told to have a nip of Brandy and keep stepping. 🙂
Hmmm, Brandy may have worked too:)LOL
Hahha…love your description of the milk bags. And so true, of everything…I just realise the name of your blog “The Truth…” and nothing but the truth. Hi, visiting from let’s bee friends.
THanks. I know the TRUTH is not always pretty ( but neither is motherhood) but it’s always TRUE:) Thanks for stopping by
If I had read this before I got pregnant I would have thought “umm nooooo”
But after baby….
OMG.. laughing so hard!
Laughing at all of the girls who want babies so bad and can’t wait to experience their bodies changing.
Laughing at what they are about to experience…
hahahahaha.
sigh.
Good stuff.
Oh Im laughing because I wrote this for my little sister who is experiencing her first pregnancy and told me the other day (straight faced no less ) “I’m not getting up with no baby every 2 hours!” Bwahahahahaha!SUCKER!
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