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Fashion Police, Puh-Lease!

by Deborah Cruz

There is nothing quite as sobering as walking around a “fashion” mall after having children. Instantly, I am aware that since having my children, my body has shifted and contorted in ways that no longer allow “fashion” to fit me the way it used to ~ the way it’s supposed to…the way in which it would actually look “fashionable”. No, instead I end up looking like a sausage in an ill fitted casing..in silk bloomers. Let’s just call it what it really is #Fashionfail.

Next, I realize that since having my girls, I don’t actually have any extra money lying around to afford high “fashion”. Hell, I can’t even afford a low fashion makeover. Well, that is NOT entirely true. I can afford it. Or I could, if all my assets were fluid and not tied up in, oh I don’t know, private school tuition, ballet, soccer, headbands, tutus, kids concerts, enough toys to fill  my very own Toys R Us, organic food, $8 gallons of milk, doctors, dentists, clothing and shoes for said children.It’s like a gave birth to two of the most adorable little money pits on the face of the earth. I give willingly but at times, like my visit to the “fashion” mall, I am slapped across the face with my sacrifices.

Finally, I try to just give in and let myself visit a place I’ve not been in many years..you know what I’m talking about. That place in your mind where you gingerly ( as if I’ve been able to gingerly do anything since having kids) linger over beautiful clothes, outfitting yourself in your head. Perusing books and art. Fingering the purses and admiring the shine of some audaciously over priced piece of silver jewelry. You know, something  oh so Bo-Ho chic.Trying on multiple pairs of lovely shoes in every possible style, color and heel height available. You remember, pull back ..way back, into the recesses of your mind…shopping. Ahhhh, exhale.Isn’t it absolutely fabulous? I used to be that woman who would shop all day long, until I found the perfect ensemble. The perfect piece of jewelry. The perfect heel. I thrived there, between the racks and amongst the other shoppers.So, when I walked into Anthropologie ( already devastated at my state of affairs) you can imagine the deflated feeling that overcame me when the moment I eyeballed something of splendor…my 3 year old began to whine. The Big Guy heavily sighed in aggravation and my 5 year old said, “I want to go someplace else!” Apparently, I am not even allowed the simple courtesy of being able to window shop in peace. They have taken one of my most sacred past times and turned it to shit….in a matter of minutes.

I left thinking, forget the fashion mall, who needs a $300 shirt anyways? Nobody NEEDS it but damn it, what I wouldn’t give to have the option to decide of my own volition if I even wanted to buy the damn thing.On most days, I LOVE my girls so much that I can’t stand it. But after the trip to the “fashion” mall, I can’t decide if I’m excited for them to be teenagers and enjoy “shopping” with me (of course, then I still won’t be able to shop because again I will be buying everything for them) or perhaps, I am excited for them to be excited to shop so that I can return the favor and NOT let them enjoy their shopping experience. Turn about has to be fair play in motherhood, right? I mean, my mom wished  on me a child exactly like me and I got two. The least I can do is dole out some karma, right? Isn’t that my Mommy duty?


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b harper 2011/04/11 - 12:09 am

I’ve learned to embrace internet shopping. Zappos has any shoe that Nordstrom does and without dirty looks at my whiny baby.

The last thing I need now is a three way dressing room mirror anyway.

Truthful Mommy 2011/04/11 - 10:40 am

Oh the 3 way mirror does hurt my feelings! AS far as the dirty looks,my girls are 3 and 6 so now I just get dirty looks for their obnoxiousness and extreme loudness.They are pretty good girls but very excitable.I used to be the one giving the dirty looks,now I’m the one giving a compassionate smile:)I;ve come a long way baby!

Samantha S 2011/04/11 - 12:16 am

This is why there’s internet window shopping, isn’t it?

Jeans have made me inordinately sad since having the baby. Jeans I wore pre-pregnancy seem too low while highlighting the leftover elephant skin of my belly and there’s no way I’m about to buy the jeans that are supposedly made for a more mature shape… not to mention taking a gamble on if it will fit or not because Piggles has gotten bored.

At least the good thing about girls is they will eventually want to go shopping with you. It just takes a while.

Truthful Mommy 2011/04/11 - 10:42 am

This is true, my girls do love to shop…for themselves but get pretty bored when it’s for me.They have their moments:) I know that one day it will be a source of bonding for us.I was just so damn excited to be in that mall and they rained all over my parade:( Next time, I know to go by myself.

parenting ad absurdum 2011/04/11 - 12:15 pm

I’m all about second-hand/vintage/thrift – that way I can get 30 shirts for $300! It does mean I look a bit boho-disheveled half the time, but that’s me. Love you baby!! Come to SF so we can shop together.

Truthful Mommy 2011/04/11 - 12:48 pm

I am working with ONe Savvy mom on a Family Friendly Travel Guide and guess where my first stop is over Memorial Day weekend? SAN FRANCISCO! If everything goes as planned..we may finally get t o meet in person!WOOTWOOT! Can I just say my excitement can’t be contained!!!I’ll keep you posted but for now…wheels are set in motion:)

Susan 2011/04/11 - 1:18 pm

I feel your pain…and I have learned to love shopping online! Maybe one day I’ll venture back to the mall….maybe.

Tracey 2011/04/12 - 1:53 am

I know shopping after kids can be a little depressing at first. Even though my weight was back to pretty much what it was before I got pregnant, my body shape was different. My formerly flat abs were replaced with a mommy pudge – that’s still hard to fit in jeans.

But you’re right, I wouldn’t change it for anything. I have 2 gorgeous boys – and damn it I’m determined to get a sorta flat tummy again with pilates.:)

Truthful Mommy 2011/04/12 - 9:20 am

You can do it! ME, I’m just leaving the girls at home next time. I should have known better:)

30ish Mama 2011/04/12 - 11:39 pm

Since I had my daughter online shopping is where it’s at, but I do miss that leisurely stroll through the mall. Touching the fabrics, actually looking inside the purse as oppossed to the virtual tour of the bag. Aah, yes…seems like just yesterday.

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