Dear daughter,
Life is precious, and not a single day goes by that I don’t thank God and the universe for the gift of being your mom. Simply having you in my orbit would be more than enough, but getting to love you is the most precious gift I’ve ever received in my life.
This may be the hardest birthday yet because I know that next year, when you turn 20, I won’t get to walk into your bedroom, give you a big birthday hug, and wake you with cuddles and “Mañanitas” playing. There will be no birthday waffles and Starbucks run, no stress-relieving trip to play with puppies, and no “Bella Day” like we’ve had for the past 19 years. Next year, you’ll be on campus, and I’ll be here. Everything will be different.
Will you be available at 4:51 p.m. for your birth minute kiss? I’ll be driving to your college campus, but maybe you’ll be in class, with friends, or too busy. Life gets in the way, and distance changes perspectives. The shift that’s coming is inevitable and natural – it’s how you fully become you. Unfortunately, it also means we both have to learn where I end and you begin.
You’ll always be my favorite person in the entire world, and I’ll always love you beyond measure. But someday soon, I’ll be one of many blessed souls who get the privilege of loving you. It’s okay, though, because this separation is how life is designed so we both survive the impending physical distance and the big, beautiful life ahead of you.
Mom’s Advice as You Leave for College
I think we’ve both been feeling the gentle tug of separation on the dotted line over the past year. Don’t be sad. I got an extra year with you at home, and every day with you in my orbit has been precious. I’ll be forever grateful for it.
This week, your first week of being 19, I feel the pull a little harder as we await your transfer acceptance letter to your dream school. I’m so damn proud and happy for you, but I’m also sorrowful for myself. Letting go has never been something I’ve been good at. But dear God, I’m thankful that I’ve gotten to love you so hard for these 19 years.
I’ve watched you grow and blossom from a silly, sweet, imaginative, kind, and happy child into a smart, beautiful, funny, thoughtful, authentic, caring, and generous woman. You keep your circle small but tight. You love unconditionally and fully, yet you’re discerning about who you give your time and love to. You are wise beyond your years and stronger than you realize. You are absolutely amazing, and nothing can stop you.
Fly high, and never stop fighting for what you believe in, your dreams, those you love, and, most importantly, never give up on yourself.
19 will be a year of growth and change for both of us. I can’t wait to see you continue to blossom into the woman you’re meant to be. As your mom, it’s time to give you space to do that. Just know that no matter where you go, who you become, or where life takes you, I’ll always be here cheering you on, supporting you, and yes, still fighting for you. You are the best of me, and there will ever only be one “Bella BooBoo Kitty” in this lifetime for me.
Never doubt that when life gets hard, you’ve got a soft place to land. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, my home is your home, and you will always have a place here with us. When you feel life is getting too heavy, put the burden on me. I’ll carry it until you recoup your strength. Remember, you are loved literally beyond measure, and no space, time, distance, or circumstances can ever change that.
So be brave, go out into the world, and build the life you’ve dreamed of. You deserve all the happiness you want. You’ve got this.
19 is just a number, but it’s also the year you begin the biggest adventure of your life. I wish you every one of God’s blessings and a lifetime filled with big, heart-fluttering, reciprocated love; booming, from-the-bottom-of-your-soul laughter; unbridled, can’t-stop-smiling happiness; great health and adventure chasing; and heart-fulfilling dreams. But most of all, I ask you to love yourself. Love and care for yourself the way I love and care for you, like you are my favorite and most precious person in this world, because you are. Never forget that.
Love you forever, to the moon and back!
