web analytics

The TRUTH About Motherhood

Category: Parenting

Parenting is nothing you expected and everything you could have imagined all rolled into one. I have been spit up on, pooped on, vomited on all before 7 a.m. in the newborn years. I’ve watched my toddler shove a pearl up her nose and poop in her mouth, and I’ve even masticated food. Not as fun as it sounds. I’ve survived breast buds and the sex talk. I share everything I ever learned and you might want to know about parenting from pregnancy to labor thru to the teens years.  It’s is hard but it’s the toughest job that you’ll ever love but the salary sucks.

  • Happy 14th Birthday to My Teenager, my Best Friend

    Happy 14th Birthday to My Teenager, my Best Friend

    I know not everyone agrees with this or has this same experience because parenting a teen is a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get from one day to the next, even from one hour to the next. One minute they love you and the next, maybe you’re the dumbest person to ever walk the face of the earth with the dinosaurs. But sometimes you get lucky, even if it’s just for a little while, and they love the shit out of you. Maybe we’re in the honeymoon phase of teen parenting but for today, happy birthday to my teenager, my best friend. There I said it. I love and her sister more than anyone in the world and quite honestly, I like her more than most people too.

    blondienites, 14th birthday party, love letter, 14th birthday, birthday girl, happy birthday

    The past few months have had me feeling a certain kind of way. It’s a new avenue in parenting that I’m just beginning, the teen years. Bella turned 13 last year and I felt the tug of her growing up. However, my little girl leaned in and we’ve gotten closer. We talk about everything that she wants to share, I don’t push but I encourage her to know that I’m always here. It’ worked for us, so far. I know it’s not the popular parenting school of thought but she is becoming my best friend and I love how close we are. I have no idea what the next few years will bring so I am cherishing every moment she chooses me to confide in. I’m here for all it.

    READ ALSO: Love Letter to my Daughter on her 7th Birthday

    In the past year, there’s been first crushes, a new understanding of friendship and knowing when to hang on and when to let go, there’s been putting family first, learning that kindness is something we can give that always replenishes, finally comprehending that we cannot control how other’s respond to what we put out there. She’s become kind, generous and compassionate all on her own in ways I wouldn’t even have thought of because she believes it’s the right thing to do.

    blondienites, 14th birthday party, love letter, 14th birthday, birthday girl, happy birthday

    She’s become unapologetically herself not giving too much of a damn of what other’s think of her. My favorite shift I’ve seen this year, while she may still fight and bicker with her little sister, she will always go to bat if anyone even thinks about hurting her sister. Lastly, she is embracing her Latino culture in a way she has not fully appreciated in the past and that makes my heart happy. She also seems to be starting to be grateful and appreciate the parents that she has.

    READ ALSO: Birthday with a Surprise Ending

    Yesterday, she turned 14-years-old. We’ve already started planning next year’s quinceanera (in case you are not familiar with what a quinceanera is I will write a post soon explaining it all) and I think that’s got me all in my feelings. While she is holding my hand tightly, she is running head first, full-force towards 15; towards being a young woman. This makes me feel so proud of her, humbled being along for the ride and a little scared of what the future might bring but I am so excited for her. I can still remember all of the firsts and newness of this time in my own life and I only hope the experience is as exciting and enjoyable for her. Either way, we’ll always be here to help make the transition smooth.

    blondienites, 14th birthday party, love letter, 14th birthday, birthday girl, happy birthday

    As I sit here listening to Tu Sangre en Mi Cuerpo and looking up pins for the big 15th birthday party (quinceanera) for next year, I’m nostalgic for that sweet baby who smelled like green apples and came into my life and gave it meaning. Let me be embarrassingly honest for a moment, the moment that I held her in my arms, I fell deeper in love than I ever knew possible. I had never felt that kind of love in my life and the closest that came to it was the Big Guy. She and her sister are the culmination of the best thing that ever happened to me.

    READ ALSO: Love Letter to my Tween

    For Bella’s birthday, we let her choose to spend the day however she wanted to (that’s what we do in our house). We celebrate her party next weekend with family and friends. But yesterday, she wanted brunch, shopping for bikinis, a Disney movie marathon and homemade buffalo wing pizza for dinner. She had exactly what she wanted; a little bit big girl and still a bit of my baby. Culminated, like every year since birth, with her 4:51 pm birth minute kiss.

     

    blondienites, 14th birthday party, love letter, 14th birthday, birthday girl, happy birthday

    Bella,

    One day you will read this, my sweet girl, and I want you to know, I love you more than everything. You are amazing in ways that you don’t even understand but I see the good, kind and caring kind of child you ‘ve always been and the young woman you are growing up to be. Keep being you and living the life you want. We’re always here to get your back and love you, no matter what comes in life. You can do anything you set your heart to. Dream big, baby girl. To the moon and back and forever and ever.

    Xoxo

    Mama

    blondienites, 14th birthday party, love letter, 14th birthday, birthday girl, happy birthday

  • Let’s Build Something Beautiful Together for Our Daughters

    Let’s Build Something Beautiful Together for Our Daughters

    Let’s build something beautiful together. Let’s change the world and fill it full of good humans. Let’s raise young girls to become strong women who demand respect and equality. I want International Women’s Day to be every day from now until infinity.

    I am the mother of girls. All day long, for the past 14 years, I #Girlmom. When I found out that I was having daughters, I was thrilled immediately tinged by sadness for the struggles they would face as females. The truth is that being born a woman is both a privilege and a curse. More privilege than curse but still it has its downsides like inequal work pay, permanent second class citizen status, being seen as the “weaker sex”, rape culture, the government has one hand in your uterus at all times, being ignored and invisible, or catcalled and objectified and so much more.

    Personally, I think there is nothing so magical and fierce as a strong woman. From the moment I knew I would be raising daughters, I had every intention of raising strong girls who would grow up to be unstoppable women. I felt like this was my time to make my grand contribution to the world, beyond my words, thoughts, deeds and actions, I wanted to leave a legacy of raising good, kind, strong females who are tolerant advocates for themselves and others who need their voice to raise up and call for justice.

    Today is International Woman’s Day and I feel like I would be remiss to not to celebrate it, especially as the mother of girls.

    Society tends to make women feel like second class citizens in so many ways, I want my girls to know they are first class in every sense of the word. How do we do this in a time when we are telling our girls they are equal but they are seeing that the world does not see them that way? We work twice as hard to build them up. We arm them with educations, strong female role models and the fundamental belief that they are better than good enough and equal to any man. We do this by showing them, not just telling them. We start by loving and believing in ourselves.

    It is our jobs as mothers to show our little girls that maybe it’s hard to be a woman in our society but it is also the most beautiful thing in this whole world. We can do everything men can do plus we can bring life into the world. We create miracles. Our bodies are magic and that’s the way we need to appreciate them. We do not need to chastise ourselves because our bodies don’t fit some Barbie doll mold created by the expectations of men. We need to embrace it for all of its curves and beauty.

    We need to show our little girls how important it is to have good relationships with other women. Life should not be about competing with other women. We need to teach our girls to lift one another up; to support and celebrate one another. We do not need to divide ourselves. We need to unify and stand strong arm in arm.

    Our girls need to know that they don’t ever need to shut up. They are not too brazen for speaking up for what they believe in. They are not asking too much to be treated with the same respect and dignity that any man would demand. You are not less of a woman because you want more out of life than society dictates that you should have.

    We need to encourage our girls to travel more. See the world. Teach them that nothing is impossible and everything is possible with hard work. Our girls can do and be anything. Let them know that we’ve got their backs as their mothers and as their sisters in womanhood.

    Stop teaching our little girls to be princesses who need to be rescued by a prince. Teach them to rescue themselves. A prince is not your savior; he is your partner. He is the man you will share your life, love and friendship with. Teach our girls that a partner is nice but not necessary to live in this world and to never sacrifice herself to fit anyone else’s expectations.

    I’m raising caring, kind, open-minded fighters. I’m teaching them to never back down or step aside. I want them to hold their heads up high and to be proud of who they are and how they live in the world. I don’t want them to lower their standards or settle in life. I want them to know that contrary to what society would have them believe being born with a vagina is not a handicap, it’s a superpower.

    I’m drilling it into their brains that no one has power or domain over their bodies, their minds or their souls. It’s ok to say no loudly and bravely. Speak their truth and the world will listen. Feminism is not a bad word and it’s okay to tell the patriarchy to go f*ck themselves. They are not the boss of you.

    This is how we celebrate International Women’s Day by fighting for equality every day and showing our girls that they are strong enough to weather the condescension of misogynist. We show them that being considered the weaker sex doesn’t make you less than, it makes you underestimated. Be strong ladies. They have no idea how powerful we are.

    How are you celebrating International Women’s Day with your daughters?

  • The Secret Life of the American Teenager

    The Secret Life of the American Teenager

    Raising a teen is hard. Being a teen is hard. I know a lot of us parents complain about our teens and how inconvenient their ever-changing moods are. We wonder where our sweet little children have gone and why in his/her place a grouchy, nonverbal awkward almost adult has arrived. Maybe we need to look a little deeper and exercise a little more patience.

    Sometimes, I can be overbearing and dismissive. I’m tired and my life is pretty monotonous. I know after 14 years, sometimes I run on autopilot. We get so caught up in our own inner dialogue that we forget that everything our children do is not always just to make our lives harder, even though it may feel like it at times. For example, my girls bicker almost constantly and it’s become something that I’ve begun to take personally because I feel like they do it in spite of my requests for them to stop. It almost feels like a collateral act of defiance. I’m trying to step back and see the whole picture, take into consideration that maybe they’re going through something that I’m missing.

    Which brings me to the entire point of this post. Children of all ages who are experiencing anxiety and how they express those feelings. My daughter has been suffering from chronic sinus issues for the last couple of years. This year, it has been particularly bad. She’s already had 5 sinus infections since the beginning of the school year. Per our pediatrician, she is on meds to control her allergies and prevent the subsequent sinus infections that follow any sort of congestion, but that no longer seems to be helping.

    READ ALSO: Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words

    It’s gotten so bad that she is getting migraines which, if you’ve ever had chronic sinus issues, you know, is debilitating. She’s starting to feel like she’s sick and she’s not getting better. She doesn’t understand and neither do I. We do what we’re supposed to. We go to the doctor. We follow her instructions and still my child is sick. Today, we are seeing a specialist, an allergist, because we have to get to the bottom of this.

    We love our pediatrician and I trust doctors. I have close friends and family members who are doctors, so I have no problem with doctors. But when your child isn’t getting better, you have to advocate no matter who it is or whose feelings it might hurt. This is where I am today.

    The thing is we’re at a point now where my daughters is in such pain that the thought of being at school with no one to help her sends her into a panic. Her anxiety kicks in and she is practically immobilized. I’m talking, gets to the office at school and goes into flight mode. The other day her sinus infection was so bad and she couldn’t be medicated because of tests, she cried for 3 hours in the nurse’s office before they called me to bring her home.

    How can I send her to school when she is so obviously in pain and, on top of that, terrified of not knowing why it won’t go away. Which, I won’t lie, I am getting concerned myself. I’m thinking if this appointment with the specialist doesn’t give us answers, maybe we need an MRI. I won’t say that to my daughter and I can’t lead on that I’m more worried than she thinks I am. As her mom, it’s my job to keep my shit together while handling business on the backend.

    READ ALSO: When You Just Need a Moment for Yourself

    I’m trying to stay cool but I get why she is having this anxiety of the unknown. I try to keep her comfortable. I have chronic sinus and allergy issues too. I get migraines. I know how painful all of this is but when I’m sick, I have the luxury of burying myself in bed. When she’s sick, she still has to show up but lately, even when she’s showing up, she’s not really because she’s so preoccupied by the pain.

    I guess what I’m saying is that sometimes kids and teens are not jerks just for the sake of being a pain in the butt. Most times, there is something behind it. Whether it be anger, worry, fear or embarrassment. Sometimes even teenagers can’t use their words to tell us how they’re feeling. They are like toddlers in that way.

    They say things like, “I’m tired”, “My head hurts”, “My stomach hurts” all very non-specifically and for a parent that can be frustrating because you feel like maybe they are trying to get something over on you. A long time ago, I started going deeper on my questioning (once we rule out that it’s not an actual physical ailment) I ask, “has anything happened at school?”, “Did a friend say something that hurt your feelings?”, “Did a boy say something that made you feel weird?”, “Did a teacher get too close?” “Did anyone make you feel uncomfortable or compromised in any way?” Sometimes, the answers will come out without them having to find the words.

    READ ALSO: Parents who Send Sick Kids to School are the Worst

    But in this situation, my daughter is actually sick. I’ve been to the pediatrician so many times this year that I feel like I should get frequent flyer miles. I’m also not too sure they don’t have me on some weird mom Munchausen by proxy watch list. It’s embarrassing but every time I take her in, there is actually something wrong with her. So it’s not in either one of our heads. I know how to advocate for my children and I’ll do whatever I need to get them healthy but how do I help them deal with their anxiety?

    As a mom, how do you differentiate between your child being legit run of the mill fear of something and having brain chemistry induced anxiety attack about it? One might only need a hug but the other might need a professional. What would you do if your teenage girl was experiencing anxiety while suffering a physical illness?

    Update: Allergy tests showed that she is allergic to every Midwestern allergen except cats. We have a dog. The allergens are triggering sinus infections. If your kid keeps getting sinus infections, it might be worth a trip to the allergist. Also, I will write some posts next week to help your kids deal with sinus issues, give you the low down on allergy tests on kids and teens and the symptoms of anxiety in teenagers. Basically, I’ll help you understand the secret life of the American teenager. We’ll all get through this together.

  • Raising Teen Girls to Survive Misogyny, Sexting and Slut Shaming

    Raising Teen Girls to Survive Misogyny, Sexting and Slut Shaming

    The things we have to talk to our children and teens about these days is intense. I never remember my mom talking to me directly about misogyny, slut shaming, rape or even consent. She definitely didn’t talk to me about sexting because it didn’t exist. I remember my dad adamantly telling me to respect myself and my body and to stand up for myself. Maybe that was the 80’s version of the same thing I’m talking to my girls about. My dad has a black belt in karate and he taught us all how to throw a punch so maybe he was prepping me for the real world, in his own indirect way.

    I grew up and knew that I wanted to have a very open dialogue with my children, especially when they hit those difficult, awkward teen years. By the way, all kids are awkward at this age so it’s not just your kid. They all need a little TLC during the teen years when they can sometimes be at their most unlovable. Just remember all of that angst is probably masking insecurity.

    READ ALSO: Parent Guide to Teen Slang Words

    Lately, I’ve had to have some very direct conversations that I never thought I’d have to have. The two I most thought I’d never have to have a direct conversation about are misogyny (it’s not you, it is definitely them) and slut-shaming (it’s never ok to be a part of that problem). Thanks to modern politics and the trickle-down effect, it has had on our community, it’s been necessary to explain to my daughters that it’s never ok for any man to treat you like you are a less valuable human being because of what’s between your legs.

    Women are 100% equal to men, as we are all human beings. The only thing that elevates a person’s worth in the world is the way in which they conduct themselves and interact with others. We should be measured by our contributions, not our sex.

    Thanks to a prevalent case of moral superiority that seems to permeate the circle they have found themselves surrounded by, I’ve had to jump to the rescue of strangers for making questionable moral choices. At this age, everyone is a critic and the higher the number of kids judging, the worse the criticism. I’ve always told my girls that they should live their own best lives and do good in the world but we don’t judge others because their life choices are between them, their conscience and their God.

    READ ALSO: When Misogyny Speaks the World Listens

    Do I want my daughters to grow up and make questionable moral choices? Of course not, but do I want them to live a full life? Yes. So maybe that means they make some choices that I wouldn’t make or they take chances that I would have discouraged them from making. Will we always see eye to eye? Definitely not. My girls have free will and I wouldn’t change that.

    I’m not particularly excited about watching them fail or get hurt and I will always be there to pick up the pieces and kiss the booboos, no matter how old they get, but I can’t live their life for them. This is why we have to have the hard talks. This is why I’ve been talking to my girls about sex, misogyny, and respecting themselves and their bodies since they were toddlers. You have to start these conversations when they are young.

    We’re at a particularly uneasy part of childhood; the part where they are not quite children and not quite adults. They are naïve, hearts wide open, full of hormone fluctuations and walking around looking like adults.

    Ever wonder why our teens make the choices they do? Something, not so much shocking as unexpected, happened at my daughters’ school recently and I found myself shocked that in this day and age a kid would make this poor choice because I thought all of us were having the same conversations with our kids. I sometimes forget how new the Internet really is. Sexting happened.

    READ ALSO: Who is Protecting Our Daughters

    Maybe it’s because I work in social media but my kids have known since before they were in school that the Internet is forever. Anything can be screenshot. Not everyone is who they appear to be online. Don’t measure your worth by how many likes, follows and “friends” you have. It’s all a smoke show. It’s fake and not seated in reality. But above all, it is forever and like the angry ghost of a crazy ex, it can haunt you forever so make good choices kids. Not all parents have this conversation even once with their children.

    My girls have both had smartphones with parental controls since they were 9-years-old. We openly monitor their activity. We check their phones. They are only allowed an Instagram and Pinterest account, which they share. The accounts are monitored. Everything they post is monitored. There is no Finsta. I check their DMs. I block people. We’ve not made it taboo but the girls know that any time we could be watching so all I ask is that they respect themselves and not say anything on the Internet that they’d be embarrassed for their grandfathers to see.

    Back to this sexting situation. A girl in 8th grade sent explicit unsolicited photos of herself to a boy she liked. He told his mom but not before consulting his friend. He sent the picture to his friend and the friend sent it to a group chat. The mom went to the school to tell on the girl. The police are now involved because this is the distribution of pornography involving a minor. As if this is not horrible enough of a situation, the 8th-grade girls are shunning her and one girl pointed at her in the presence of my daughter and called her a “slut.”

    READ ALSO: Good Girls and Double Standards

    My daughter shut it down because I’ve taught my girls that we never slut shame. It’s not our business to judge anyone, especially another woman, because of a momentary lapse in judgment or even if someone outright chooses to be promiscuous. I feel bad for this girl. She has to live with this choice and I’m sure that’s not easy. I’m not sure how you recover from something like this in a Catholic school where everything they do is seeping with moral superiority and virtue.

    For me, I don’t understand why she chose to do this but maybe her parents never explained that anything you put out into the world digitally lives on forever. Maybe she was just so desperate for the attention that her judgment was clouded. Or maybe she just didn’t fully realize the weight of her actions until after she hit send. Either way, she made a choice and now, unfortunately, it will follow her.

    I’d also like to point out that we live in a world where girls feel like they need to share these kinds of photos to capture a guy’s attention. Girls are objectified from very young ages. She’s not the only one who participated in this situation, she may have sent the photos but the boy could have deleted them. He didn’t need to share them with anyone and the kid who shared those private photos with the entire group chat, in my opinion, is the most culpable.

    READ ALSO:  Love Letter to My Daughter

    My girls were shocked by the behavior of the girl who sent the texts, the boys who shared them and the girls who are now doing the shunning. My oldest is feeling disillusioned by her friends. But I explained to her that these are just growing pains and it’s also a good dose of reality and a lesson in consequences.

    Like my dad, I am saying to my girls respect yourselves, do good, make good choices and stand up for what you believe. Misogyny and slut shaming may be something our society tolerates but it doesn’t have to be. It starts with individuals choosing to do better, choosing kindness and compassion over judgment and cruelty. As parents, we need to remember that even when our teens don’t want us, they still need us and we need to see past their eye-rolling and exasperation and step in if necessary. They’ll get over it.

    How do you teach your girls to survive sexting, slut-shaming and misogyny?

  • Best Things to Do in Boston with Teens and Tweens

    Best Things to Do in Boston with Teens and Tweens

    Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

    Boston is one of our favorite cities to travel to as a family. We fell in love with it on our first trip when the girls were just preschoolers and we’ve found new things to do and places to check out on every subsequent visit. It’s one of those places that you can go back to 100 times and still find new and exciting adventures to be had. Virginia might be for lovers but Boston is for families and the proof is in my best things to do in Boston with teens and tweens list that I’ve compiled.

    We’ve done the typical things like go whale watching, visit the children’s museum and walk the Freedom Trail. We’ve visited Harvard and explored every inch of the commons. As the girls grow older, from toddlers to teens, what they want t do and what interests them changes. Lucky for us, Boston is a city with endless options.

    READ ALSO: Things to Do in Boston When Traveling with Children

    One of my favorite things about Boston, and I’ve said this many times, part of what makes it such an amazing family destination is that the people of Boston are so kind and welcoming to their city. Every time we’ve been, it never fails, if I need to stop and ask someone for directions or for a recommendation of places to eat or things to do, without fail they stop and answer my questions. This plays a big part in why I feel safe in Boston and return every year.

    If you’re looking for a city to visit that offers something for all ages where you and your family can explore, Boston may be for you.

    Best Things to Do in Boston with Teens and Tweens

    Shopping

    Primark

    Shopping on Newbury Street

    Newbury street is more than just a shopping center, it’s a cultural epicenter with all varieties of food and .

    Anthropologie

    Intermix

    Remember to pack a duffle bag because if you are with teen girls, there will be plenty of shopping done and you’ll need the extra space.

    Eating

    Pret a Manger

    We only discovered this gem last year when I was sick and we needed something quick. Pret a Manger is literally, ready to eat. My girls are obsessed with grilled ham and cheese.

    Cheers Boston

    This is one of our favorite places to go with the girls. They love getting Shirley temples and Boston Creme pie and the Big Guy and I love the casual atmosphere and pub food.

    Best Things to Do in Boston with Teens and Tweens, things to do in Boston, Boston Commons, Georgetown Cupcakes, Signature swings

    Georgetown Cupcake

    Most delicious cupcakes ever with a fantastic flavor variety.

    Eating in Chinatown

    Any place you try, it will be good.

    The Q

    Come for the hot pots and stay for the sushi.

    The Gourmet China House

    The Gourmet China House is a quaint, unassuming restaurant that serves up some of the tastiest Chinese food I’ve ever eaten.

    Stoddards

    Gastropub serving vintage cocktails & craft beer in a historical building & former corset shop

    New York Pizza

    It’s a little bit of New York in Boston. If NYC style is your favorite pizza, you’ll love it.

    Legal Sea Foods

    Places to Stay 

    Westin Boston Waterfront

    The Westin has the most comfortable beds and attentive staff. If you are in town for a conference, the Westin is attached to the conference center. It’s also within walking distance to downtown.

    Hyatt Regency Boston

    The Hyatt is a modern, clean hotel located in the theater district within walking distance to the Commons, Chinatown and Newbury Street. Also, the customer service at the Hyatt is wonderful.

    Boston Park Plaza

    Entertainment

    Best Things to Do in Boston with Teens and Tweens, things to do in Boston, Boston Commons, Georgetown Cupcakes, Signature swings

    The Swing Park at the Signature

    This is such a fun thing to do for people of every age. We spent hours there from sunset until it was dark out swinging on those glowing swings.

    Faneuil Hall

    Exploring Boylston neighborhoods around the Public Garden Park

    Catch a show at the Paramount Center

    The Swan Boats at the Commons

    Visit Harvard University and Cambridge

    If you’ve never been, you have to go. It’s a beautiful campus with so much to see. Plus, it’s never too early to introduce your kids to the possibility of Harvard.

    READ ALSO: Ogunquit Maine the Perfect Beach Getaway

    These are just a few of the many places to go and best things to do in Boston with teens and tweens but there are several more. We’re going back this June and I’ll have even more things to do and places to go then.

    What’s your favorite city to visit with your family and why?

  • If You Want Respect from your Toddler, You have to Respect Them Too

    Ever wonder how to get respect from your teen? I remember wondering how to get respect from a toddler. It’s simple really if you want respect from your toddler thru to your teens,  you have to respect them too. I know, crazy, right? I’ve been all for treating my kids as little people from the day they were born. I just adjusted as needed, Age appropriate and full honesty has always been my long term parenting style.

    Do your children roll their eyes at you? Mine has on occasion. They’ve been doing it since they gained control of their eyeballs and realized that sometimes, as a mom, I’m winging it. Some days, I don’t even have a clue and feel like the poster child for “ParentingFails.”

    I definitely don’t feel like I know how to get respect from a toddler.

    I don’t get made though. They come by their champion eye-rolling skills naturally. I’ve been known to roll my own eyes quite frequently — an unfortunate habit leftover from my own teen years. But, being the recipient of a serious eye rolling while I’m talking to my children annoys the p*ss out of me. In my book, it’s as disrespectful as walking away when I’m talking to you. It’s the nonverbal expression of: “You’re so annoying. I’m not listening to you!”

    READ ALSO: Toddler Selective Hearing Syndrome

    I get that it’s the sort of rebellious behavior one might expect from their tween or teen but now, even preschoolers are doing it. I know this is just one of those awesome hormonally fueled ways that my daughters are trying to exert their independence and test my boundaries but I hate it. As a parent, I need to figure out a way to get respect without hurling insults or being intentionally hurtful. We need to be the change we want to see in the world — so, if I don’t want to get eyes rolled at me, I need to first and foremost stop rolling my eyes. To get respect, you have to give respect. Yes, even to toddler and teens and all ages in between.

    Maybe your toddler or teen is just unhappy or frustrated and eye rolling is his or her way of expressing that. Maybe it’s not personal at all. Either way, if it’s bothering you, it’s worth being discussed. Don’t get sidetracked by the rudeness and don’t engage in the same behavior. I know it’s difficult to ignore being ignored.

    Try these tips to help guide you in how to get respect from a toddler and how to get your teen to stop rolling their eyes at you.

    Expect respect

    If you accept rudeness, you’ll get it. Parents who refuse to tolerate rude behavior tend to have kids who aren’t rude. Decide what’s most important to you. Let the house rules be known, and then hold your child accountable.

    Choose your battles

    You can’t punish your tween every time your child misbehaves. If you try, you will spend all of your time frustrated and yelling. Soon, you will drive yourself crazy — and your child will just start tuning you out. Instead, decide what you’re willing to tolerate and what you’re willing to overlook.

    Out of bounds

    Warn your kids when they are nearing intolerable behavior. For example, I count to three in Spanish, and my daughters know when I get to one, they have crossed a line. This will let you warn them without embarrassing them. It’s a private mom-and-child code that leaves them with some dignity.

    Don’t get down on their level

    When my girls roll their eyes at me, my instant reaction is to roll mine back — but how is that helpful? It solves nothing, demonstrates just how immature I am and sets a bad example. So, no matter how hard it is, try to take the high road when disciplining your child. Remember, you are an adult — behave like one.

    READ ALSO: When Mom’s Stop Being Nice and Start Being Honest

    How do you get your child to stop talking back or rolling their eyes? What is your way to get respect from your teen?

  • My Unexpected Pregnancy at 39

    My Unexpected Pregnancy at 39

    A few years ago, I wrote a post called, Unexpected Pregnancy at 40, What Would You Do? and it was about my friend who was pregnant. What I didn’t disclose in the post was that I too was pregnant. I had my own unexpected pregnancy at 39 and had no idea what I would do and I couldn’t talk about it on the blog. I was waiting until the following month to tell my family and friends at my daughters’ 5th birthday party. Unfortunately, I lost the baby before I got the chance.

    Over the years, many people have contacted me asking for advice or wondering what I would have done. What I did. This is the first time I am writing about this part of our third pregnancy and having an unexpected pregnancy at 39. I think mostly because I felt so guilty.

    I realized I was pregnant at my oldest daughter’s 7th birthday party, March 10, 2012. It was the strangest thing, I was holding my newborn nephew and something in me knew. I just knew I was pregnant. I was sure of it.

    READ ALSO:  Unexpected Pregnancy at 40, What would you do?

    The next day, when I dropped the girls off at school, I went directly to the Walgreens and took the test in the bathroom there. In fact, I took 3. We were living with my in-laws who had teased us at their relief that our family wasn’t growing. I was really nervous to find out that I was pregnant during such a time of upheaval in our lives. Even though we had previously planned on a third child. We hadn’t planned it now. Not like this.

    When I found out that I was pregnant, I was shocked. I stared at the pregnancy test in disbelief and I may have vomited if we’re being honest. I didn’t even know how to react. If the circumstances had been different, we would have been ecstatic. But living in a room at your in-laws with two small children, trying to sell a house in another city, with no privacy and nothing of your own, made the thought of all of it daunting. We didn’t know what we were going to do.

    A million questions and scenarios went through my mind.  What if something was wrong? I was 39 years old. How would my in-laws react? Financially, we were strapped. Could we afford this baby? If something was wrong, how could we pay for it? Could we burden our children with that? Did we want to start over? Could we? Would our in-laws ask us to leave?

    READ ALSO: Unsolicited Co-parenting

    Would I have to go back to living in our house in South Bend without my husband (back to commuter marriage life)? Could we afford a third child? Were we too old to do this? Maybe this was too much. But could I even consider the other option? I pondered all the options from the time I found out I was pregnant until I saw the doctor. I was.so.stressed.out.

    The doctor wouldn’t see me until I was 8 weeks pregnant. We saw the baby’s heartbeat. We left the doctor’s office, overwhelmed and scared shitless about what the future would bring. We knew there would be obstacles and opposition but we were excited. It was the third baby we had always wanted, just not at the time we had planned. We drove home smiling and discussing names for boys and girls. Declan or Luchedio for a little boy and Graziella for a baby girl. We were hopeful and we were in this together. So no matter what the world threw at us, we had each other; the 5 of us. But for now, it was just for the Big Guy and me.

    Those first 11 weeks were like an out-of-body experience. I was hiding the biggest secret of my life from everyone I knew and loved, including you, my readers. On top of being overwhelmed and scared, I felt like a complete fraud talking about every inane thing under the sun except for the only thing I wanted to write about…my pregnancy!

    READ ALSO: Things No One Tells You about Pregnancy

    The Big Guy and I fully passed the consideration of what to do and were full-on in the embrace, the fact that we are going to be parents to 3 while living in our in-laws’ house, decided to surprise everyone at Gabi’s 5th birthday party that May. I would have been 15 weeks and 3 days at her birthday party.

    We planned on giving her a t-shirt that said “Big Sister.” We were so excited to do this for her. Gabs had been begging to be a big sister since she was 3-years-old. Due to the commuter situation (the Big Guy working and living in another state), since she was 2, the opportunity had just not been there before. We had wanted it but neither of us wanted me to be pregnant while we weren’t living under the same roof full time. We have always been 100% parenting partners. Surprising her with the news on her birthday was going to be perfect.

    We imagined how excited our family and friends would be. We’d have support, even if it was a little cramped at my in-laws. We were excited. Like I said, in the beginning, we were terrified and it took a lot of soul searching (and hearing a heartbeat) to get us on board with a solid yes. I was so excited to get to be the mommy to 3 children. But then…

    On Monday, April 31st, after a weekend of slight spotting when I wiped, after dropping Gabs off at preschool, I stopped in the parking lot of the Dunkin doughnuts near her school and I called my Ob/GYN’s office. I kept telling myself that I wasn’t worried. This happened with every one of my pregnancies. It was going to be nothing. I was being silly. But, like my mother always says, better to be safe than sorry. So, I called and they had me come right in for an ultrasound. I wasn’t worried.at.all.

    There was no heartbeat. There on the screen, my perfect baby. No.heartbeat. I never wanted this baby more. A room filled with deafening silence as I tried to understand what I was seeing. I was alone. The tech wouldn’t tell me anything, only that she needed to take me to see my doctor. I didn’t bring my husband because I didn’t think there was anything to worry about.

    READ ALSO: Some Things Change You Forever

    She took me down the back stairs to avoid the main lobby. My world was collapsing. I felt like a mad, hysterically silent hostage in my own body. I couldn’t make a sound for fear that I would start crying and never stop. I couldn’t blink for fear that all my pain and loss would escape from my eyes and drown all those perfectly round bellies surrounding me. I couldn’t make eye contact for fear I might die. All I could do was sit in silence to contain the floodgates.

    Then, all I could do was cry.

    So what’s it like being pregnant at 39? It’s terrifying and it’s beautiful and it’s scary and amazing. But only you can decide what to do about this pregnancy. There is no wrong answer. You must do what is best for you and your family. Not what society or your friends or family expects you to do. A baby is forever. Being a parent is forever. I still consider myself the mom of 3 children and I think about that baby every single day but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong if you decide that you can’t or don’t want to have a baby at 39 or 40 or ever.

    READ ALSO: How to Survive the Loss of a Pregnancy

    You know YOU better than anyone. Do what will make you happy. Do what you can handle. And don’t let anyone else stress you out or bully you into a decision because that will be a disservice to you and your baby. If you’re not all in, that’s ok. No one is judging you. You are the one who has to live with whatever you decide; baby or no baby, it’s a lifetime commitment.

    I didn’t get what I wanted in the end but I felt guilty for many years for the fact that I even considered there was a decision to be made. I felt like God was punishing me for stopping, however briefly, to consider there was an option other than having the baby. I’ve since realized that I wasn’t punished for having free thought. I don’t know why it happened. I never will. I know there was nothing wrong with my baby. I know that I wanted that baby as much as I’d ever wanted the other two. Mostly, I know that the choice to have that baby was the right thing for us even if the universe had other plans.

  • Every Time I Sneeze I Pee My Pants

    Every Time I Sneeze I Pee My Pants

    Today was the anniversary of the day I fell and dislocated my elbow last year. I know that because my amazon photos wanted to taunt me today.  It also happens to be the 21st anniversary of the night the Big Guy asked me to marry him. Weird, right?

    All day today I was dreading going outside for fear that I might slip on the ice  (because the kids had no school today because of icy roads). I stayed inside with the kids most of the day, just waiting for the clock to run out on this day. Then, I went outside because I had to run an errand and ironically enough, not only was there ice everywhere but there I was wearing UGGS again. UGGS the exact kind of shoe I was wearing when I bit it in the wet yard last year. God, I can actually feel the crunch of my elbow dislocating if I close my eyes. But I’m fine. No slips and falls today.

    ALSO READ: Beware the Slick Spots

    Tonight we were planning our Disney vacation for this fall because we are those people who like to return to the scene of the crime. Since our first trip to WDW was on our honeymoon, we have to go back this year. Right in the midst of the joy of surviving the day and celebrating our engagement anniversary, I sneezed and peed my pants. My kids, keeping me humble since 2005.

    This day just reminded me that life can be simultaneously amazing and shitty in the same 24 hours. It’s all in our perspective, although, I’m pretty sure falling and dislocating your elbow constitutes a bad day any way you slice it. However, I’m just thankful that my elbow kept me from hitting my head on the cement. And who cares if I pee my pants when I sneeze sometimes, that’s what panty liners are for. Also, would I ever trade my kids with their big heads for a non– stress incontinent existence? NO, I wouldn’t.

    ALSO READ: Everything New at Walt Disney World

    I guess all this to say, I’m going to Disney World! But mostly to say, we don’t always know what life is going to throw at us, or on top of us or beneath us but we know that even if it hits us square in the face sometimes, we’re going to be fine. It’s going to hurt for a while and maybe there will be permanent damage but we will figure it out.

    That’s what I’m doing, I’m figuring it out; motherhood, being a wife, being a good friend, living on my own terms, surviving the shittiest of days and embracing the little profound moments of complete bliss. I have no clue how I’m going to make it all work. I never have but I do it. I do it because that’s life. Failure really isn’t an option.

    So the next time you’re laughing and you start to pee a little, look around, is there any place else that you’d rather be? Probably not. Not really. Not when it’s all said and done and the kids are asleep and your husband is beside you watching your favorite show. Laugh on, laugh hard, laugh loud and then change those panties and live to laugh another day.

     

  • Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words You Need to Know

    Ok moms of tweens and teens, I didn’t forget about you. I’ve scoured the internet to compile a comprehensive parents guide to teen slang words. Ever feel like your teens and tweens are talking another language? Well, you’re not crazy, they are. They are talking slang and the meanings have changed just to keep us on our toes. Please don’t out yourself as being out of the know and have your kid tell you to skurt skurt.

    My girls and I have a pretty open relationship. They still like me on most days. Though that is not my main concern in parenting, I’d love it if one day we could be friends but for now, I’m their mom. There’s always been a comradery between us that transcended the parent/child relationship. I did that on purpose because I didn’t have that as a child.

    There was a strict division between parents and children and while I completely believe that I am my daughters’ mom first and their “friend” second, I want them to trust me and, if possible, feel comfortable not hiding things from me. Teens feel weird about all the changes like they can’t tell us things and then they start to shut down and begin to hide things from us.

    READ ALSO: The Ever Changing Rules and Regulations of being a Teen Girl

    That’s not to say that I’m not the mean mom on the daily but everything I do, like you, is out of love and in the hopes of raising good human beings. I sit through all the Dobre Brothers, Yoga Challenges and Beauty tutorial YouTube videos with them just so we can have conversations that I can actually understand. Just so I can know how they are doing. Because the important things are peppered in with all the daily stuff. It’s our job as parents to pay attention.

    The other day, after watching a YouTube video about slang kids are using these days, I realized that maybe not all moms and dads of teens know what the heck their kids are saying when they are talking or texting. They speak in code you know? Not that I’m an expert but, unlike most parents who don’t actually work in social media, I do know some things. Add to the mix that I am a giant child myself and my daughters have taught me some words I should know for 2019. FYI, fleek is no longer on fleek so keep that phrase out of your mouth.

    Here is the Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words You Need to Know

     Adulting – To grow up and act responsibly

     AF – An acronym for “as fuck”

    Almosts- Someone you came close to dating but it never became official

    Awk/ Awks – Awkward

    Basic – Only interested in mainstream, popular things

    Beef- Argument

    Beat – To have a full face of makeup

    Blessed – Feeling fortunate

    Bounce – Leaving suddenly

    Bougie – Someone from a higher class

    BRB- Be Right Back

    Bruh – Another way of saying “seriously?”

    Cancel – The rejection of a person, place or thing

    Canceled – To reject something because it’s no longer trendy or it’s become too ratchet.

    Can’t even – Used to describe someone you cannot handle

    Catfishing– pretending t be someone else on social media

    Clap back – A comeback filled with attitude

    Clout Chaser = someone who tries to latch on to other, more popular people

    Clout Demon = a wannabe

    Cray – Crazy

    Cringey– awkward, uncomfortable, cringe-worthy

    Dad – A role model

    Dank – Really cool

    Dead – When someone is euphorically happy

    Dead A–= To be completely and honestly serious

    Dime = rating of attractiveness, 10/10

    Down in the DM = direct messaging someone privately, usually to hook up

    Drip, Drippin = flashy, ostentatious

    Extra – Over the top, dramatic behavior

    Fam – A group of friends who feels more like family

    Finesse – To smooth things out

    Fleeky– Amazing

    FOMO – Fear of missing out

    F2F = face to face, meeting in person

    Gassed – When someone has had one too many compliments and is full of themselves

    Ghost – When you completely disappear after hanging out and showing interest

    Girlfriend tax– The amount of food taken by your female significant other, after you asked her if she was hungry and she insisted she wasn’t.

    Glow-Up = an incredible transformation

    GMT – Getting me tight / getting upset

    Goals – A way of subtly expressing that you’re jealous; Goals = a lifestyle to strive for

    GOAT – Greatest of all time

    Gucci – Good or cool; Good / doing well / feeling fine

    Hangry – When you are angry because you are so hungry

    High-key – Straight up truth; a lot, wanting everyone to know something

    Hit a lick = to steal something

    Hundo P – 100 percent certain

    Hunty – Equivalent of friend but said with attitude

    IRL – In real life

    It’s lit = cool, awesome, great

    I’m weak = something so funny it made you weak

    JOMO – Joy of missing out

    Kickback = a casual get together

    KMS/KYS = kill myself, kill yourself, used sarcastically

    Lean = an intoxicating drink made using soda and cough syrup

    Lit – Amazing

    Mom – The most responsible friend in the group

    Netflix and chill – Hooking up

    OMG – An abbreviation for “oh my gosh” or “oh my God!”

    OP = out of pocket, used when something is extreme or offensive

    OTP – One true pairing

    Phubbing – Snubbing someone to pay attention to your phone instead

    Ratchet – Trashy

    Receipts – Evidence of a person’s hypocrisy, often pulled from past social media or text conversations

    Rides – Sneakers or shoes

     Salty – Acting upset or bitter

    Saucy = feisty or sassy

    Savage = wild or harsh

    Savage – Petty

    Shade-Trash Talk

    Shipping – Wanting two people to date

    Shook – Confused or in utter disbelief

    Sic – Something that is cool

    Sipping/Sips Tea– Minding your own business

    Spilling the Tea– Gossipping

    Skurt – Go away

    Slay – Killing it / Succeeding

    SMH – Shaking my head

    Snatched – Looks good, fierce, fashionable. Snatched is the new fleek.

    Snack– Cute= tasty treat you’d like to eat; the people version

    Spilling Tea – Gossiping

    Squad – Closest group of friends

    Stan – A combination of stalker and fan

    Straight Fire – Hot, popular or trendy

    Suh – A shortened version of what’s up

    Sus – When someone is acting suspicious or shady

    Swerve – Get out of the way

    Swol – Someone who works out

    TBH – To be honest

    Tea -Gossip

    TFW – That feeling when

    Thicc – Someone with curves

    Thirst trap – A sexy photograph or flirtatious message posted on social media

    Thirsty – Trying to get attention; horny

    Throwing shade – Making a subtly mean comment about someone

    Trill – True and real

    Trolls – Someone who purposely tries to provoke others

    Turnt – Hype for a party

    V – very

    Weak – Laughing so hard that you can hardly breathe

    Wig snatched – Exposing someone to reveal the truth

    Wig = when something crazy or unexpected (good) happens

    WOAT– Worst of All Time

    Woke – Being aware of current affairs

    Yaas – An enthusiastic way of saying yes, or as my girls say, Yaas queen.

    Yeet – A way to show excitement or agree

    YOLO – You only live once

    Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words You Need to Know, teen slang words, slang words, parents guide, teens, mom of teens, teenagers, slang for dummies

    Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words that Describes People or Relationships

    OK, parents pay attention. You know relationships are so important during the teens years. Friends are our lifelines and boys, well, the day rises and sets around them when we are first crushing. Our teens find out about themselves through these relationships. They are rocky and scary and unexplored territory.

    READ ALSO: Tips for Raising Teenage Girls and Not Damaging Your Relationship Pt.1

    Did you know they have a whole slang language for these relationships? They do. I guess we did too. Remember being someone’s “lady”, “boo” or “girl”? Well, move over bacon there is something leaner.

    Here are some teen slang words used to describe people or relationships. There is some overlap for the above list.

    • Bae – “Before anyone else” and is often used to describe a boyfriend or girlfriend
    • BF/GF – Boyfriend or girlfriend
    • BFF – Best friends forever
    • Bruh – Same as “bro”
    • Creeper – Someone who is socially awkward or tends to have stalker tendencies
    • Curve – Romantic rejection
    • Emo – Emotional or a drama queen
    • Hater or h8er – Someone who hates everything, even their friends
    • n00b – A person who doesn’t want to learn
    • Ship – Short for ‘relationship’
    • Squad – A group of girls that hang out together regularly
    • Tight – In a close relationship
    • Wanksta – A person trying to act tough, but who isn’t really pulling it off

    Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words the Compound Version

    Yes, this is a thing and we’ve all heard it. Hangry and chillaxin. TBH, I thought I invented Hangry back when I was a teen but perhaps I was mistaken.

    Teens often create shortcuts by combining two words together. To understand what they mean, you need to know the definition of each word. Here are some examples of compound teen slang:

    • Chillaxin – Chillin’ and relaxing.
    • Crashy – Crazy and trashy
    • Hangry – Hungry and angry
    • Requestion – Request and a question
    • Tope – Tight and dope

    Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words You Should Pay Attention To

    Be on the lookout for these slang words which could indicate your teen is bullying someone or that getting bullied by someone:

    • Bye Felicia – A disrespectful way to dismiss someone who is unimportant
    • CD9 – Code 9, parents are here
    • POS – Parents over shoulder (often used when texting to warn friends that mom or dad is reading) I thought it meant Piece of Sh*t.
    • Throw Shade – Give someone a dirty look
    • Tool – Refers to someone who is stupid or a geek

    Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words You Should Definitely Keep an Eye Out For

    I am so thankful that social media wasn’t around when I was a tween and teen. When I think of all the stupid things I did that could have been captured and lived on in infamy, I cringe. I was naïve and dumb and did a lot of dumb things; made a lot of mistakes. By most standards, I was a good kid and I still did some really dangerous, thoughtless things.

    READ ALSO: Tips for Raising Teenage Girls and Not Damaging Your Relationship Pt.2

    Social media, text messaging, and online dating can lead to sexual conversations over the computer. And if you’re not sure what to look out for, you might not even notice what your teen is saying right under your nose. Sneaky little boogers.

    Drug conversations are also something you need to be aware of. Here are some teen slang words that may indicate your teen is being pressured or experimenting with sex, drugs and alcohol.

    • CU46 – See you for sex
    • GNOC – Get naked on camera
    • Molly – MDMA, a dangerous party drug
    • NIFOC – Naked in front of the computer
    • Netflix and Chill – Used as a front for inviting someone over to make out (or maybe more)
    • Smash – Casual sex
    • Turnt Up – To be high or drunk
    • Tweaking= high, usually on amphetamines
    • Zip Ghost – Someone who is high on marijuana and having a hard time functioning
    • Dexing – Abusing cough syrup
    • Crunk – Getting high and drunk at the same time
    • X – Ecstasy
    • 53X – Sex
    • WTTP – Want to trade photos?
    • LMIRL – Let’s meet in real life

    Not going to lie, I check my kids’ phones every night. They are still pretty young. We’re at the beginning and I’d rather be a smother than be sorry. I’m totally upfront about it so I’m not invading their privacy all sneaky squirrel. They know I check their phones. This is not to be nosey, this is to make sure they are safe.

    Sometimes kids wander into unfamiliar territory and, believe it or not, they want someone to put the brakes on because then they can hide behind their “mean mom” saying no, rather than having to tell someone that they don’t want to do something because they feel uneasy or too young. I’m fine with being the bad guy.

    Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words You Need to Know, teen slang words, slang words, parents guide, teens, mom of teens, teenagers, slang for dummiesI made this Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words so we can understand and communicate with our teens.

    I’m sure you already know this, but some parents don’t, beware of Finsta accounts on Insta. You know, you think that you are watching your kid’s account but really you are only watching the one they want you to see. They’ve got 2 more that you have no idea exist and they are doing crazy sh*t like having full on conversations full of innuendo with strangers and taking pictures half naked with suggestive faces and captions. The point is that teens these days are so smart and tech savvy but they are still young and naïve to how the world works so it is our job to keep them safe not give them enough social media rope to hang themselves.

    READ ALSO: Tips for Raising Teenage Girls and Not Damaging Your Relationship Pt.3

    Another good idea, check out Gryphon. It’s a smart home device that allows you to monitor, block, and even turn off the internet on your child’s device, all from your phone. (Yup, you can turn off their internet during dinner time, homework time, etc. so you no longer have to nag them to put down their devices). I like to turn off the Internet when the girls are supposed to be in bed because I don’t want them up getting into trouble. I’ve noticed that kids seem to get a little braver when they have sleepovers and are staying up. This is when prank calls and text take place. I get it. We used to do it but we didn’t have sexting and the Internet. It wasn’t forever, just for a while. I need to think of their future and their safety even when they aren’t. Sometimes we need to save our kids from themselves.

    Are there any words that I forgot on the Parents Guide to Teen Slang Words or that you have heard your kid use and need an explanation

     

  • American Girl Doll of the Year 2019 Blaire Wilson GIVEAWAY

    American Girl Doll of the Year 2019 Blaire Wilson GIVEAWAY

    My girls love American Girl Doll. They’ve loved them since our first trip to the American Girl Doll Store in Chicago when they were just little girls. Since then, they’ve been American Girl Doll obsessed. It was not surprising to me when my Gabs told me that she was excited for AG doll of the year Blaire Wilson and I’m assuming she’s not the only one so we’re hosting a giveaway.

    I’ve always had a special place in my heart for American Girl Dolls because I remember my niece playing with them when I was in college. But I’ve really loved the fact that each American Girl has a story to tell. I like women and girls of substance and American Girl never disappoints.

    Disclosure: We were generously sent an American Girl Doll of the Year Blaire Wilson to review and 1 to giveaway. All thoughts, opinions and my daughters’ love for all things AG is our own and authentic. 

    This year’s Girl of the Year (GOTY) Blaire Wilson is no exception. She’s a young chef-in-training who loves bringing people together. Ms. Wilson joins American Girl’s family of characters and stories designed to help girls think about their own character and who they want to be.

    READ ALSO: Disney’s Nutcracker and the Four Realms DVD Giveaway ( Ends 2/8/19)

    American Girl Doll of the Year Blaire Wilson Giveaway, Blaire Wilson, American Girl Doll, GOTY, Giveaway, American Girl Doll of the Year 2019Meet American Girl Doll of the Year Blaire Wilson.

    A natural people person, Blaire excels at gathering people around the dinner table, however, she needs help finding the balance between the digital world and the real world. Sounds familiar. I can definitely relate to this digital debacle that Blaire finds herself in. My girls relate to this as they are getting older.

    READ ALSO: The Day My Teen Girl Told Me How She Really Felt

    Through Blaire, girls will learn the importance of staying connected to the people they care about. This means more than clicking and swiping—it means truly being there. This is something that I still struggle with myself as a mother and a digital content creator. It is hard to find that balance between really immersing myself in my job and being present in my life; for my children and my husband. I have to stop myself often and just disconnect from the online world. The last thing I want to do is miss what’s going on in the real world. Being present for the moments, even the little ones, is what means the most.

    Blaire Wilson is an everyday girl who thrives in using her many talents to make meaningful connections with others.

    This is a lesson that I’ve been teaching my girls. Be present and connect with people in the real world. Don’t get me wrong, the online world is amazing. There are so many opportunities for connection and growth there but nothing can ever replace face-to-face connections.

    Blaire’s story unfolds in a chapter book series written by Jennifer Castle and published by Scholastic. There are two books available now. Blaire loves to put her cooking and decorating talents to good use on her family’s sustainable farm and bed-and-breakfast in upstate New York. She loves watching cooking shows and spending time with her mom in the kitchen. She looks for inspiration online and saves her favorite cooking and decorating ideas. This sounds so familiar, Gabs and Bella do the same. We watch cooking shows on the weekends as a family and the girls can pin recipes with the best of them.

    When the opportunity to plan the farm’s first wedding arises, Blaire jumps in with gusto. However, between overextending herself to create the perfect farm-fancy event and a newly diagnosed food sensitivity that makes her self-conscious, Blaire finds herself more engaged on her devices than at real-life gatherings with others. Like most of us, she’s learning the balance between time on a tablet and real-life connections. Ultimately, through the help of her family and friends, Blaire finds a healthy balance and learns the value of being fully present at every occasion.

    READ ALSO: The Art to Being a Good Mother

    Blaire comes to life for girls via a beautiful 18-inch doll, featuring bright green eyes and curly red hair. Blaire’s world features an array of outfits, accessories, and products that reflect her life on Pleasant View Farm, including a sweet lamb and piglet, festive party decor, and Blaire’s Family Farm Restaurant, with everything needed to play out a show-stopping farm-to-table celebration.

    Some important guidance that our girls can learn from Blaire Wilson (GOTY)

    Guidance for girls today. Blaire Wilson is learning to bring her creative ideas to life, while also finding time for ever-important, real-life relationships.

    Staying connected. Sharing a meal, sharing a talent, sharing a story. Spending time together grows relationships, and Blaire teaches girls that real-world interactions are the best kind of social media.

    Inspiring creativity. Expressing herself through cooking and decorating not only allows Blaire’s confidence to grow, but it serves as a chance to give joy to others.

    Finding balance. Discovering creative inspiration online is exciting, however, Blaire must learn to keep a healthy combination of tech time and real-time with friends.

    American Girl Doll of the Year Blaire Wilson Giveaway, Blaire Wilson, American Girl Doll, GOTY, Giveaway, American Girl Doll of the Year 2019

    Fans can learn more about American Girl of the Year 2019 Blaire Wilson at the following events and activities:

    • Blaire Online Play: Girls can visit http://play.americangirl.com/play/girl-of-the-year/blaire for book excerpts, games and activities, and Blaire’s Life at Pleasant View Farm Vlog posts from her family’s sustainable farm, featuring delicious recipes, gardening tips, cooking and craft videos, and more.
    • Blaire’s Family Dinner Series: To promote mealtime togetherness, families are invited to attend a Blaire-inspired dinner series at select American Girl retail restaurants across the country in 2019.

    The Blaire collection became available on January 1, 2019, at americangirl.com; at all American Girl retail locations nationwide.

    Want to learn more about Blaire Wilson, connect with American Girl

    Facebook: @americangirl

    Twitter: @American_Girl

    Instagram: @americangirlbrand

    Pinterest: agofficial

    YouTube: American Girl

    I am giving away one American Girl Doll of the Year, Blaire Wilson. All you need to do to enter is leave a comment on this post and enter using Rafflecopter. For extra entries, please see Rafflecopter below. Good luck.

    a Rafflecopter giveaway