The TRUTH About Motherhood

Category: Girl Mom

What One Man Really Thinks About Dating Bigger Women
Yesterday, I read an article about what men think about dating bigger women. It was called 15 Thoughts Every Guy Has When Dating A Bigger Woman and kept waiting to read that it was a joke; a satirical piece written about society’s treatment of overweight women. Unfortunately, it was not. It was just one douchey guy’s opinion about men who date women who are not “hot” and rocking the unattainable, bullshit body stereotype that media would have you believe is real. It’s not. Even the skitches you see with those bodies in magazine spreads, don’t have those body types. They have photoshop. There may be 1% of 18 –year-olds who are rocking that body without medical assistance.
As a rule, women have been fighting men’s traditional stereotype of “hot” since the dawn of time. In fact, many a woman has developed eating disorders and poor self body-image to adhere to society’s standard of beauty. Let’s face it, in the United States, skinny still is the determining factor of whether or not a woman is considered hot. If you doubt my assessment, just read the article written in The Richest. This guy is everything that is wrong with the world. He is the oppressor of women and should be called out as such.
Jim Hogue’s bullet points about why dating bigger women is settling for less than:
“Lots of times you see a guy, he could be normal sized or he could be overweight himself, with a woman that is a bit overweight. When that happens a bunch of things go through a guy’s mind. On the one hand you might feel a little bad for the guy, but on the other hand you might think that he was really in love, or at least was with someone he really liked. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder after all.”
Apparently, men who date bigger women are to be pitied.
His List of 15 thoughts every guy has when dating bigger women.
Your Date is Tough
Well, a guy that dates a plus-sized girl is usually not one of those guys. This guy wants a girl to hang out with that is tough, and can take care of herself. This is the kind of woman that mowed the lawn when she was growing up and went fishing with her dad. Maybe that is not the kind of girl that you imagine hanging out with, but hey, to each his own.

My Girl Can Cook
So maybe this goes without saying, I don’t know, but I am going to say it anyway. Big girls usually get big for a reason, and usually that reason has something to do with food. While it might be fun to be out clubbing with some hot woman, it is just as fun, and maybe more fun to the right guy, to stay at home and have a woman cook for him and take care of him.

Calorie Counting is Out
So we have all been there. You get out of work and have had a long day, and you are totally starving. You want to order a large Pepperoni pizza from the pizza joint, the kind they say feeds 4 people and you want to eat all of it all by yourself. Well, this is no problem at all with the plus-sized girlfriend; just give her a ring and tell her that you are on your way home and are picking up a large pie. The only problem is you are going to have to buy two.

It is Good for His Confidence
Some guys just lack confidence. They don’t feel ready to ask out the women that they truly desire. They need to work their way up so to speak. I know that may sound cruel, but this is about what guys think when they date plus-sized women.

He Might Like Them Better
While so many people look at a guy with a plus-sized woman and feel kind of bad for him, very few actually seem to understand that a lot of guys actually really like women that look this way. To each his own, people like what they like and there are a lot odder things that people are into than that.

They Are Easy to Talk To
One of the main things a guy dating a bigger chick is often thinking is how easy his girl is to talk to. This may seem like something that is not important to many guys, but after hanging out with a lot of uptight women, a girl that can relax and talk is a breath of fresh air. Let’s face it, so many women that look traditionally hot have never really learned the art of conversation, and most of them are not that funny. A plus-sized woman is the exact opposite. They are used to working their personality to make up for what many guys perceive to be flaws. Most girls that are overweight tend to be really fun, and easy to talk to about pretty much anything. A guy that dates a normal-sized girl is not used to that at all.

**Oh look, this asshole managed to completely insult ALL women in one single paragraph! ***

Picking a Place to Eat is Easy
You want to go get some wings and some fries and watch the game at a sports bar and she wants to go to that new hip place and get Thai food. Or it could be that you go to order pizza and you want sausage and onion and she wants feta and greek olives? Sometimes that whole scene can turn into an enormous fight when you are dating a chick that is average-sized. Well, if you are dating someone that is plus-sized, then you don’t have to worry about this a whole lot. She is going to probably be willing to go pretty much anywhere you want her to, at any time.

The Cuddling is the Best
There are some things that are simply not as fun when you are hanging out with a skinny woman. Like what you ask? Cuddling a skinny woman is no fun at all. It feels like you are snuggling with your 12-year-old brother. Not so if you are dating a plus- sized woman. In fact, once you start to cuddle her, you might not want to stop. It really is that good. Overweight women should hire themselves out as professional cuddlers. Oh, and also they are willing. A plus-sized girl is going to tend to be happy for that sort of attention, no doubt about that at all. All you have to do is lay down on the couch and look at her in a sweet way, and you will get your cuddle going before you know it.

She is a Built in Work-Out Buddy
A thin chick probably has a pretty stingy workout set routine; and not only that, she might be in better shape than you are. Not so if you are dating an overweight chick. She is probably going to be up for trying pretty much anything that you are into when it comes to training or working out. Sure, she might lag a little bit at first, but all that does is take a lot of pressure off your shoulders, and that is never a bad thing.

There is Less Pressure on How You Look
… if you are dating a plus-sized woman. This is a whole new world: all of sudden kicking around the house all Sunday watching football and eating a whole bag of Cheese Doodles is more than fine. The woman you are dating is not going to care even a little bit about how much you weigh or what you eat, and that in itself can be priceless.

Jealousy is a Thing of the Past
Being jealous is a way of life for a lot of guys. It is one of the problems of having a super hot girlfriend. It is not like you are the only one that notices; everywhere you go people are going to be checking her out and sometimes, if you are a certain type of guy, that kind of thing can drive you crazy. And truth be told, this is why a lot of guys like dating a woman that they don’t have to worry about unwanted eyes.

They Tend to be Funny
Plus-sized girls tend to be funny, or at the very least they often have a really good sense of humor. This goes a bit hand in hand with the fact that they are easy to talk to. So many times girls that grew up being told they were hot all the time tend to stifle their sense of humor- why do they need to be funny?
A big chick is very often a really funny one, it happens all the time. It is no coincidence that so many female comedians tend to be a bit on the big side.

They Tend to Be Eager to Please
While so many women want a guy to put her up on a pedestal, when you are dating a plus-sized girl it is often the exact opposite. They are often not used to being with a guy and are insecure about it. They want you to be happy. Whether it is going out or staying in, what movie to see, or what you do in the bedroom, most of these women are eager to please. In their minds you have looked past their physical issues and are into them for who they are. Which in turn often makes them very willing, in all sorts of ways. A guy with a plus-sized girl can soon feel like a king, which can be really appealing to the guy that was getting pushed around in another relationship.

You Can Take Her Anywhere
She will go pretty much anywhere you want to go, and do whatever you want to do. Want to spend the day at the beach? She will go and rub lotion on your back in those hard to reach places. Want to spend the day doing yard work? She will probably be up for doing that as well, and may even outwork you while doing it. A typical guy that dates a plus-sized woman really gets used to hanging with someone agreeable for a change, and who quite often is up for anything. This is not to say that most hot women are not agreeable of course. Actually, who am I kidding, that is exactly what I mean.

They are Easy to Ask Out
Guys don’t like getting stressed out, so they go with something that they consider more of a sure thing. It is hard to ask out a woman, so sometimes a guy ends up asking someone he is pretty sure that he will not get rejected by, which is why he asks out a plus-sized woman in the first place.da
Firstly, who is defining what’s considered “bigger”? Is it a size 8, 10, 14, 20, 26? Is it anything above a sample size. That may be “Normal” in places where looks are all that matter and eating disorders and plastic surgery are the norm (I’m looking at you California) but it’s not in the rest of the world. And who defines beauty anyways? The media which is controlled, predominantly, by men.
There are plenty of fat, bald and old guys out there with wives, girlfriends and partners and no one flinches. No one feels sorry for their spouses. The assumption is that their partner loves them, not that their partner settled for them so why is it that society assumes that in order for a man to love a woman who is not anorexic, he must be settling and it could not possibly be a physical attraction? Besides, when choosing a partner, initially we are attracted to the way a person looks (that’s human nature) and then we fall in love with who they are and all their qualities that we find endearing and that is different for every single person. When you’re in the dating stage and you admit to your friends by saying something like “he makes me jealous“, then you must know all the possible reasons why your man does that in order to have a better relationship.
The fact that this guy assumes that because a woman is “bigger” she is being settled for and that if is guy is dating a “bigger” girl it is out of desperation or some sort of willful act of giving up makes me sick. I also find it kind of alarming that he manages to insult all women in his piece, as a men you can expand your options and rely in some hookup sites to meet women you really like. He basically calls skinny women unapproachable bitches that he is not up for the challenge of even attempting to date and he infers that bigger women are so needy and willing to please that he’ll settle for less than “perfect” in order to not face rejection.
As a woman who has been the thin hot woman and I know the burden of being a “bigger” woman and everything in between, I can assure you that there are plenty of men out there who want all women. Good, decent respectable men who are attracted to all types and don’t consider it settling or giving up on life to date a woman who crosses the threshold of a size 6. Only men with small minds judge women on the size of their asses.
This article is more telling about Jim Hogue’s, the author, shortcomings than anything else. Let me tell you one last thing Mr. Hogue on behalf of women everywhere of every size, none of us wants you because you are ugly to the core and that is worse than fat any day of the week. You sir deserve this week’s Throat Punch Thursday!
If you’d like to read the article 15 Thoughts Every Guy Has When Dating A Bigger Woman in its entirety it is here.
What are your thoughts on his take on dating bigger women?
2016/06/28
Lemonade
Watch the entire Lemonade album. Beyonce has something to say and she is saying it, no holds barred.
I love how raw and real Lemonade is. She has put to film and lyrics the female condition.
Leave your thoughts in the comments. Let’s discuss.
https://www.facebook.com/Beyonceup/videos/705294692944367/
2016/04/26
Lea Clark, American Girl of the Year 2016 Giveaway
It’s been a difficult past 7 days. The kind of epic bad days those tear jerker country songs are made of. Last Thursday, my youngest daughter’s pet Guinea Pig got pneumonia, I took him to the vet, got him meds and we held him all day long nursing him back to health and then he just died. I was mad. I wanted a refund. I did all the things I was supposed to do and yet, still, I had to break my kids’ hearts.
We had to tell the girls when they came home from school and they both had massive breakdowns, one of which was outside on the front porch, screaming and wailing. Of course, this in turn broke our parent hearts and we all sat sobbing for most of Friday evening.
Saturday, we had a funeral for said Guinea Pig. Sunday, I was awoken at 10:30 by my daughter who insisted we go to 11 a.m. mass. Did I mention that I hadn’t slept since Wednesday night when the guinea pig first presented with the sniffles? So to mass I went, after spending all of 5 minutes getting ready. Did I mention I am on the board at our school, which is at our church? Oh yeah, did I mention I know everyone there and I looked CRAZY.
Monday, my husband gave me the news about the death of David Bowie. Then on the way to finally get my stitches out from my second surgery to this never ending broken leg saga, just when not walking like a pirate was in my line of sight, my car decided that it doesn’t like the cold. In fact, it hates the bitter cold we are experiencing so badly that a censor automatically turns traction control off which in turn reduces the engine power basically leaving you stranded in traffic moving at the pace of a slow turtle. We’ve had snow days, delays and elearning ( shoot.me.now) and it’s only Wednesday.
***Update: Thursday, my daughters’ school was locked down due to a crazed man and a hostage situation in the neighborhood addition behind the school! Bonus, the school didn’t even inform the parents until pick up. I’m assuming it was to avoid mama bears like myself from scaling the building to get to their locked down children. This is no joke a terrible week.
The car can’t be seen until Friday. Oh and the dog also has to be seen Friday by the vet because apparently the stress and bitter cold have also made her start losing her hair on her flanks. Great alopecia one more thing to worry about. On a week when we have a thousand places to be, the snow, ice and bitter cold does not want us to do any of it.
Any ways, now that you know how horrible my last 7 days have been I will tell you that I need a little joy in my life. They say be the change you want to see in the world so I am turning this frown upside down, pulling on my big girl panties and faking it until I make it and all that. I’m holding fast to the little victories, like I had my first shower in 4 months standing on my own 2 feet without using the bench for the elderly that I have been dependent upon since September.
To start the happy train rolling, I am giving away one 2016 Girl of the Year doll, Lea Clark!
I refuse to let this chaos keep me down so I spread a little happiness by giving a Lea Clark doll to my daughters and through the generosity of American Girl; I am also giving one away to a lucky reader.
I love that American Girl’s 2016 Girl of the Year, Lea Clark, dives into adventure and helps girls see life through a new lens and is in collaboration with the world wildlife fund to help protect animals and their habitats. Grace was perfect for my eldest daughter because she is a little chef and loves all things Parisian but Lea is my youngest all the way. She even looks like my little girl.There is so much to identify with and my little girl adores Lea. I think yours will too.
Lea Clark a talented photographer with a love for animals, discovers a wide world of possibilities when she embarks on a faraway adventure to Brazil. Available for only one year, Lea’s collection includes a beautiful 18-inch Lea^™ doll featuring long wavy hair and warm hazel eyes, plus several tropical-inspired outfits, accessories, and toys that reflect her Brazilian travels—including Lea’s Rainforest House with over 30 pieces! Coming this summer, an all-new, action-adventure film will debut on DVD from Universal Studios Home Entertainment .
Written by award-winning author Lisa Yee, the 2016 Girl of the Year books—Lea Dives In, Lea Leads the Way, and Lea and Camila—introduce girls to a curious ten-year-old girl with an adventurous spirit. On a family trip to Brazil to visit her older brother, Zac, who is studying the Amazon rainforest, Lea is excited to capture everything she sees with her camera. Soon Lea makes some incredible discoveries, but she also faces unexpected challenges, including a fear of the ocean, tension with Zac, and finding a baby sloth that has been gravely injured. With the help of her family, her new Brazilian friend, Camila, and her late grandmother’s guiding inspiration, Lea finds the inner strength and confidence to live her new adventures to the fullest.
Giving Back with Lea Clark
To show girls that, together, they can make a difference in helping protect animals and their habitats, American Girl has created Wild at Art, a year-long fund-raising campaign in support of World Wildlife Fund (WWF). Starting January 1, American Girl is encouraging girls to use their artistic abilities to host an art sale and donate the proceeds to WWF. To launch the campaign, American Girl has made a $50,000 donation to WWF and also invites customers to contribute at American Girl retail stores and americangirl.com. Parents can visit americangirl.com/wildatart to learn more and register for Wild at Art, plus get animal-themed craft ideas, and be entered into a sweepstakes for the chance to win one of 17 Lea prize packages.
In addition, from January 1 through December 31, 2016, for every purchase of one of the three plush animals in Lea’s collection—the margay, sea turtle, or sloth—American Girl will donate $1 (up to a maximum of $100,000) to WWF.
Just leave a comment below telling me who your favorite American Girl doll is and why. One lucky reader will randomly be selected to win a Lea Clark doll.
a Rafflecopter giveaway

2016/01/13
School Uniforms Destroy Girls’ Body Image
Have you ever thought about how our daughters’ self-esteem and body image could be affected by the school uniforms or dress code policy? Sounds crazy, right? I mean isn’t that the entire purpose of school uniforms in the first place, to level the playing field; to equalize all children and neutralize all social hierarchy? Isn’t a dress code to keep kids comfortable and tidy.
I have daughters, who have to wear school uniforms. There is no option. I thought this was a great idea when we started school but now, I think it’s stifling and worse, I think it’s causing some damage to my tween’s self-esteem and worse, her body image. It’s bad enough that they are not allowed to even look like girls; no ruffles, no frills or even pale pink polish because it might be “distracting” to boys but now we are even making the clothes to fit like a boy. Someone once told me that I should cut my daughters’ hair because they “read somewhere” that long hair is conducive to rape. I said, no why don’t women teach their sons not to be rapists and to respect women and their bodies. Why should my daughter have to look like a boy so your son doesn’t get any ideas? Why do the girls have to be punished?
But how are school uniforms destroying little girls’ body image, you ask?
This year, it has become almost impossible to find anything that fits my child and believe me; I have tried all the stores and all the sizes. I’m frustrated; my poor daughter is beside herself. She had a growth spurt over the summer and suddenly all of her clothes are too short and tight. So, since I don’t want to send my child to school looking all “Hulk Smash” I decided to try to just buy her some bigger clothes. Makes sense, right? WRONG!
You see, I’ve noticed that for the last few years, the girls’ uniform pants that we bought at Children’s Place were made slightly different than boy uniform pants. It was the little details like a little spandex mixed with the cotton so that the pants could bend and mold to a little girl’s body. Also, little girls’ pants were slightly flared for aesthetics and had a cute little ribbon belt. The pants were perfect. My children have been wearing them for years.
But this year, with all the let’s eliminate labels like “boys” and “girls” campaigns being on trend, nothing fits. It’s not my imagination. They have actually stopped making the pants we previously bought and have gone to a more streamlined look, that happen to look exactly like the boys’ pants. Let’s put it this way, my waif like 8 –year-old who almost blows away with a strong gust of wind and typically wears a size 6X/7 had to buy a size 10, in order to fit.
My poor 10-year-old who typically wears a 12 or a 14 depending on the length of the pants, literally, could not find a pair of pants that fit her in the length and waist. Either they swallowed her whole or fit in the waist but were up to her knees or in one particular worst case scenario, we had to try on a size 14 that was tight on her waist and her butt and then we found out it was a mislabeled 10. With tears in her eyes in the dressing room, she looked at me and said, “Mommy, I just want to be normal. I just want pants that fit to wear to school!” I’ve only noticed this in uniforms, but of course, that’s all I’ve shopped for recently.
My heart broke into one million pieces because I saw every single woman that has come before her and every single little girl that will come after her if we don’t do something to change this NOW! There is plenty of time for her to feel like shit about herself because the fashion and style industry do not cater to normal sized women and they surely don’t cater to tall women, who are neither anorexic or plus sized. Our options are crying in the dressing room while trying to either starve ourselves into see thru micro mini everything, wearing muumuus or dressing like a man. Why do we have to dress according to them? And who the f*ck are they anyways?
Isn’t it enough that our daughters are bombarded by images on television and in the media of starving women as our standard of beauty, now my 10-year-old and 8-year-old are being told their bodies are wrong by fucking uniform pants. And by the way, if there was ever proof that the patriarchy is in charge, just look at a school uniform policy. It is made to inflict embarrassment and shatter self-image by making every little girl feel as ugly and plain as possible.
This is my plea, manufacturers and designers of little girls’ school uniforms
Please stop making school uniforms cut to give our elementary school aged girls doubt in themselves and their bodies.
My daughters are perfect and healthy and beautiful and in one shopping trip, fashion has planted a seed of doubt. I saw her face. I know that look…
If only I could lose 5 pounds, I could fit into those pants!
I didn’t ever want to see that look in her eyes; that partial disgust and doubt of her own body.
It had nothing to do with wanting to be fashionable and every thing to do with just wanting to be normal and wear pants that fit. Why are we allowing the fashion industry to destroy the self-esteem and body image that we have worked so hard to instill in our girls? We pay for these clothes, shouldn’t they be made to fit our bodies not the other way around? The fashion industry works for us.
What are your thoughts on vanity sizing and unisex cuts in girls’ school uniforms?
2015/08/18
All Little Girls Think They’re Fat
“I’m fat! Just look at my flabby arms!”
This is what I overheard amongst the ballerinas today. 11-year-olds should not be worrying about flabby arms, especially since not one of the 10 preteen girls included in this conversation are fat or had flabby arms. My heart sunk and my stomach turned as I realized if these lean, dancers think they’re fat, what if all little girls think they’re fat? I didn’t say a word because I was speechless.
Every Wednesday, I take my daughters to ballet. They were in class when I heard the girls talking. This has been my routine for nearly 8 years. At least 4 classes a week, I am surrounded by a plethora of beautiful, young, graceful, strong and lean girls (ages 3 and up). It’s always been a place of positivity and the focus is on the dance moves, not the size of the dancer’s ass. Why would it be?
My girls have danced with the city ballet practically since the moment they could tell me that was what they wanted to do but I went in with my eyes open. I’ve heard the horror stories of ballerinas who are malnourished and have eating disorders. I know these are brought on by the constant focus on body and weight that is necessary for any athlete.
Having battled severe eating disorders myself, I promised myself a few things 1) I would never negative talk in front of my girls 2) I would do everything in my power to instill high self-confidence and positive body image and 3) if they were ever involved in a situation where someone made weight the focus, I’d pull my daughters out because it’s not worth it. I won’t allow anyone to undo the self-esteem that I’ve spent years building.
Perfection is not achievable, mostly because it’s a moving target, and no girl should feel that her self-worth has anything to do with her weight. Only in ballet, like many sports, it is hard to be in top performance form if your body is not at its absolute best so even if there isn’t a blatant focus and criticism of body size and shape, it’s there, lurking like the boogie man just waiting to destroy your daughter’s self-confidence. I know it and, apparently, so do these girls. How could they not living in a world where thigh gaps and bikini bridges are aspirations.
I wanted to grab those girls and hug them and shout to them, “No! Your arms are not flabby. You are perfect. Your body is strong and beautiful and amazing. It is what moves you on the stage. It is what moves you in the world. Your body is what makes you….YOU!” I wanted to, like I wished someone would’ve done to me the first time I looked in the mirror and saw my 12-year-old body and saw imperfection in perfection. But I couldn’t because I wasn’t supposed to be there. I wasn’t supposed to hear that. They aren’t my daughters.
At that moment, I was too busy praying that my daughter, just inside the classroom, didn’t hear this slightly older ballerina who she looks up to calling herself “flabby” and “fat.” Because if you’ve ever been involved in the dance world, you know, there is nothing a tiny ballerina looks up to more than a bigger one, even if it’s only by a level. I held my breath and waited to see if she mentioned anything. She didn’t.
You see, little girls are like sponges; they absorb everything that they see and hear and once they know it, they can’t unknow it. They keep it and pick at it like a scab. I know this is true because my own daughters have even began to pick up on subtle cues, ones that I don’t even know I’m doing. They know how to decipher a hint and they can figure things out. They are not oblivious. I went home last night and began to think of all the ways I hint at my dissatisfaction with my own body; long sighs in the mirror, tugging at my shirt, tiny fits of rage when trying on clothes in the dressing room. I can’t do that anymore. They’re too smart. If they’re unhealthy or think they are fat, I feel like it’s my personal parenting fail.
I feel terrible that I didn’t grab those little girls and tell them how perfect and strong and amazing they are. I had to do something so I emailed the Director of the Ballet (a mom of two small girls, a ballerina and a friend) and I told her what had happened because I feel like going silent makes me a part of the problem. I want to be part of the solution.
What would you have done if you heard a group of young girls calling themselves fat?

2015/03/19
I Shaved my 7-Year-old
Last fall, I received a personal laser hair removal system because I’d already shaved myself silly for the past 30 years and waxing hurts my feelings. My 7-year-old saw it and asked what it was. I told her. Then, she mentioned the hair on her arms. She said if the laser hair removal treatment worked, she wanted me to use it on her. I took notice but didn’t want to make a “thing” of it. It felt like a little punch to my gut that this was a concern of my 2^nd grader. It broke my heart a little.
For those asking, opulentlasers.co.uk has the permanent laser hair removal at home which you can check out now.
I’ve always believed that when my daughters came to me about hairy legs, out of control eyebrows or the inevitable extra lip hair (because God knows I am living proof of maintenance) that I would help them. It wouldn’t be an issue, until they came to me if it bothered them. As long as they love the skin they are in, that’s all that matters to me.
I remember being in middle school myself and having hairy legs and my dad forbidding me to shave my legs. I had to wear ugly tube socks to hide the Sasquatch I was evolving into. It was humiliating. Eventually, embarrassment and humiliation got the best of me, I butchered shaved my legs and nearly took my ankle off with it. I never wanted my girls to have to sneak and shave their legs, tweeze their eyebrows or, heaven forbid, wax their mustache. Mostly, I never wanted them to feel that awkward humiliation or be stumped when someone else pointed out what they already knew.
So, when my 7-year-old came to me for a second time last night and asked me if I could laser her tiny little arms, I looked her straight in the face and asked her, “Why do you want me to take the hair off of your arms?” And she answered, “Because it bothers me, Mommy.” I made the decision to stick by my guns and I agreed to shave her arms.
You see when she originally asked about it, I consulted my aesthetician and she recommended shaving her arms. When my daughter came to me, very seriously, after several months and still wanted the hair gone. I had to do what was best for her.
I took her to my bathroom. I explained that hair is natural and we all have it. Some of us have more than others but that if this were what SHE wanted, I would shave her arms. She was sure.
I washed her arms. Lathered them with shaving cream and almost surreally,
I shaved her tiny arms from her elbow to her wrist.
When we were done, she hugged me and said, “Oh, Mommy! They are so smooth. Now, I don’t have to wear my fleece every day in class to cover my arms!”
She was ecstatic. She ran downstairs to show her dad and her sister. And then I died a little bit inside, as I held back the tears because I realized that she hadn’t given me the entire story.
I followed her downstairs, pulled her aside and asked, “Baby, why do you wear your fleece every day in class?”
Then she said something I never wanted to hear, “ Well, *Sophie asked my why my arms were so hairy. Then she told me they were weird. Then she laughed.”
I can tell you that as a mom, I wanted to punch this other 7-year-old in the face because she has put it in my daughter’s head that her arms are weird because they have hair on them. That will never go away. She’s never going to forget that moment that someone laughed and called her “weird” because of her body. That infuriates me.
I know some of you reading this are thinking why on the earth would you shave your 7-year-old’s arms? I realize that it sounds vain and cosmetic and no I don’t want to encourage my girls to believe that they need to change to meet society’s expectations of beauty. This wasn’t about that. This was me helping my daughter feel better about herself because it bothered her just like I would take her to a dermatologist if she had acne or get her braces if her teeth were crooked.
I shaved my daughter because that’s what she needed to feel happy in her skin.
I’m thrilled my daughter feels more confident without the hair on her arms but I’m hoping, since I didn’t have the entire story, that I didn’t send the wrong message. I don’t want her to think she has to conform to other people’s concept of beauty because I think she’s perfect already.
What would you have done in this situation?
Would you have shaved your 7-year-old if you could see it truly bothered her?
2015/03/09
Strong Like A Girl #LikeAGirl
” Like a Girl ” what does that even mean? Like a boss? Like your best? Like you? Bigger? Bolder? Brighter? Faster? Harder? Stronger? Longer? Better? I’ve never gotten that phrase and I’ve always hated the negative connotation that is inferred by it. I’m a woman and I love being a woman. I don’t think being a female makes me less, it makes me more.
“Why do people say “grow some balls”? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”
― Betty White ( Like a girl)
I am the proud mom of two very strong willed, strong minded and strong bodied, amazing girls. Girls who are smart, funny, caring, loving, challenging, athletic, witty, love science and math and give everything they do 110%. They are also beautiful, delicate, stubborn, opinionated, whimsical and 110% girl.

They are two of the fiercest little girls I know. They are everything they want to be and my only wish for them is happiness being their best version of themselves. I never want them to lose the belief that they can do and be anything they want to be. It’s all a matter of working hard and has absolutely NOTHING to do with what is between their legs. Contrary to popular belief, a vagina is not a liability. It’s a mother f*cking miracle.
You see, I’ve never put my girls into a box and I’ve NEVER in my life understood the asinine turn of phrase, “Like a girl” because it makes no sense. Girls grow up to be women. Women grow babies, give birth, hold careers, make homes for their families and hold shit together when the world starts to fall apart. Without women, quite literally, the species would cease to exist. Girls are can do anything boys can do, in most cases, even better because they’ve had to work twice as hard to get it.
The “Like A Girl” campaign as a social experiment to destroy the negative implications of the phrase. That ad was shown during last night’s Super Bowl game.
The video shows grown up men and women being asked to run, throw, and fight like a girl. In each case, they watered it down. They reacted slower, more cartoonish and awkward like. They “dumbed it down”. THEY thought it was funny. I don’t think it’s funny at all, especially when women are doing this. This makes us part of the problem, not the solution.
However, when the producers of the video asked young girls under the age of 10 to run, throw or fight “like a girl” they did it with all of their might. They ran as fast as they could. Fought as hard as they could. Threw as far as they could. They did not undersell themselves because they were doing it as they always believed they could. They had not yet been conditioned and beaten down by society’s stereotypes and become a cartoonish, underwhelming specimen of a woman. They were strong.

As a woman, who survived puberty, we all know that once puberty comes and your body starts to change. Your confidence is shaken. People react to you differently. You cross over from being a kid to being a woman and the expectations change. With breasts, you become shackled with limitations. It is a sad but true fact. Right now, my girls are still at the age where they do everything like no one is watching and there is a quiet strength and beauty in that.
The video bothered me a lot, then again I knew this day was coming. My oldest is about to be 10 and I have worked her entire life to make sure that she NEVER sees “like a girl” in a negative way. I want her to always know and accept that she is as good, as strong, capable and intelligent as any boy. If anything, I want my girls to know they are special because not only can they do every thing that men can do, we can do one thing that they can’t…conceive and give birth to a child. We are stronger in that capacity than any man can ever hope to be because we are the keepers of the world.
I think I’m doing a pretty good job, my girls look completely baffled when I ask them to do anything “like a girl” I have to clarify…just do it the way you do it. I’m pretty proud of that and them. Like a girl should be synonymous with Like a boss because that is how we do it around here.
I think my girls are the two most amazing creatures I know. They are strong, bold and fierce in ways I only wish that I was. I watch them grow in awe and humbled by their spirit. They inspire me to fight harder, to be better to make this world better for them….to make it what they deserve.
What does ” like a girl ” mean in your house?
2015/02/02
American Girl, Grace Thomas, Giveaway!
Whose little girl doesn’t love an American Girl Doll? Valentine’s Day is in little less than a month and that means time to gift the people I love something they will love. Obviously, it’s not about the gift but I really do love giving my girls something that makes their face light up. I’ve partnered with American Girl doll to give my girls something I know they will absolutely LOVE.
There are so many great things at American Girl that any little girl would love to get this Valentine’s Day, perhaps, one of the many dolls from the new BeForever Collection like Samantha who has returned from retirement, or a doll and me matching outfit or the coveted, 2015 American Girl of the Year, Grace Thomas.
Grace Thomas™, the 2015 Girl of the Year, is an avid baker with an entrepreneurial spirit, is motivated to follow her dream of starting a baking business after an inspiring trip to Paris. Available for only one year, the Grace collection includes a beautiful 18-inch Grace™ doll featuring long dark-brown hair and sparkling blue eyes, plus several French-inspired outfits, accessories, and toys that reflect her interests, such as the premium French Bakery Set with more than 60 pieces!
The 2015 Girl of the Year books—Grace, Grace Stirs It Up, and Grace Makes It Great—written by Mary Casanova, introduce girls to an inventive, enthusiastic nine-year-old girl who is full of big ideas. A planner at heart, Grace finds the courage to step outside her comfort zone during a trip to Paris that broadens her perspective and challenges her to try new things. Back home, Grace uses her newfound courage and culinary skills to start her own French baking business with her two best friends. Learning to combine their talents, Grace and her friends mix together some great ideas that, ultimately, lead to many sweet rewards. To bring Grace’s story to life, a full-length movie will debut on DVD from Universal Studios Home Entertainment in summer 2015.
For Goodness, Bake!
To further Grace’s message that working together is the best recipe for success, American Girl has created For Goodness, Bake!, a year-long fund-raising initiative in support of No Kid Hungry®, the campaign to end childhood hunger in America from Share Our Strength®. Starting January 1, American Girl is encouraging girls to host charity bake sales in their local communities and donate proceeds to No Kid Hungry. Because 1 in 5 children struggles with hunger in the United States, American Girl is helping ensure all children get the healthy food they need every day. For every $1 a girl raises, No Kid Hungry can connect a child with ten additional meals.
To kick off the initiative, American Girl has donated $50,000 to No Kid Hungry, and it invites customers to also donate directly at americangirl.com and at American Girl retail stores. Parents can visit americangirl.com/girloftheyear to learn more about the initiative, to register for the Bake Sale for No Kid Hungry, and be entered into the For Goodness, Bake! sweepstakes for the chance to win one of 41 Grace prize packages.
American Girl is known for giving back and this is a virtue that I want to instill in my daughters.
I think this will be a great way to personalize the value of charity and helping those less fortunate than we are. My youngest has a big heart and can’t help but want to help every person who asks, I think the No Kid Hungry project is an amazing service project to let my girls be involved in so I am happy to give them Grace Thomas for Valentine’s Day.
I would also love to give one lucky reader a Grace Thomas doll to share with her own little girl this Valentine’s Day! The contest will run from today until February 9^{th, 2015 at 11:59 p.m.}. To be eligible you must be in the U.S. or Canada and you must answer the question: What’s your favorite blog post or blog that you’ve read this week (other than your own)?
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Disclosure: I was provided an American Girl Doll for review purposes but all opinions are my own.
2015/01/19
American Girl Will Donate a Doll to Children’s Hospital for Every one Bought
Anyone who has been a long time reader of The TRUTH knows that we are big fans of American Girl in our home. Remember the American Girl Christmas of 2013?

It all started with a couple of hand-me-down American Girl dolls and a Bitty Baby from my niece (who’s now 17) and my daughters were smitten. They fell in love with the AG dolls immediately.

Their first “new” American Girl dolls were from the My Girl collection, each girl got a doll that looked exactly like her. Both girls named their dolls after themselves. Sophie and Lucy became regulars at the dinner table, play dates and at bedtime. Wherever our girls went, so did Sophie and Lucy. It’s been love ever since.

Anything that can make my daughters that happy is good in my book and American Girl Dolls has got even better in my book this holiday season.

This year American Girl has announced on an unprecedented holiday giving campaign “SHARE THE WONDER OF THE HOLIDAYS”. Starting November 24 through December 18, 2014, American Girl will match any doll purchase made online, in-store, or via phone with an 18-inch doll donation (up to 1,000 dolls each day!) to the Children’s Hospital Association. The donation, worth nearly $3 million in retail value, will help bring joy and comfort to thousands of young girls receiving care in any of the association’s 200 member hospitals in the U.S.

To further celebrate the excitement of giving and receiving American Girl this season, American Girl would like to invite you to share pictures and videos of your unforgettable American Girl moments-from unwrapping gifts on Christmas morning to celebrating a birthday or visiting a store-on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter using the hashtag #Joy2EveryGirl.

“This holiday, we know millions of girls will experience the joy that comes with the gift of an American Girl doll. We want to share the magic and emotion of that event with even more girls-especially those who could use some extra cheer in their lives,” said Jean McKenzie, president of American Girl. “Through our partnership with the Children’s Hospital Association, we’re delighted to give thousands of deserving girls across America the opportunity to find a special friend in one of our dolls and help create a cherished holiday moment.”
American Girl has a long-standing commitment to helping children and families in need. The company is proud to support a wide range of causes and issues affecting millions of individuals, and works with leading charitable organizations to help make the world a brighter place. To learn more about American Girl’s 2014 “Share the Wonder of the Holidays” campaign, visit americangirl.com, find them on Facebook ,Pinterest , or Instagram .
I know, from experience, just how much joy American Girl dolls have brought to my little girls and the thought of seeing that kind of joy on the faces of the little girls who need a smile the most, is one of the most giving and generous things I can think of giving a child. If you are planning on buying the little girl in your life an American Girl doll of her own any time soon, please buy it before December 18^th and help American Girl donate one to a child who can really use something to smile about.
Disclosure: I was provided an American Girl Doll of the Year Isabelle to donate to a charity of my choice but our love for American Girl Dolls is genuine and all our own.
2014/12/08
The Gift for the Little Girl who Breaks All The Stereotypes
My girls blow my mind on a daily basis. They’re 7 and 9-years-old and it sort of feels like I’m succeeding at this whole mom thing on most days because for the most part, they are happy, healthy, thriving and growing.
My 7-year-old truly embraces the idea that she can be and do anything and my 9-year-old carries herself through the world in a way that lets me know that she can. She’s a ballerina, wrapped in a scientist, wrapped in a cheerleader. She never second-guesses who she is or what she does. She never questions her body. It’s a vehicle. She doesn’t question whether she is smart, beautiful or deserving…she just is. I love that she never questions that because, like most women, I always have about myself.
I look at my girls and I know that possibilities are limitless. There are no boundaries to how far they can fly. My girls don’t limit themselves to what other people expect of them. I love that.
They love to play with dolls, as most little girls their age do but they also love to build things. There is a sense of accomplishment that they take in creating something from nothing.
I found a great toy this year from a local toy store for my girls. The Build ’n Play Fab Mansion by Mega Bloks Barbie™ by Mega Bloks Barbie allows my girls to be the designer. Snappy modular rooms make it easy for your little girl to build and decorate the perfect mansion for their Barbie and Skipper mini fashion figures.
It allows your little girl not only to design their dream house and arrange the rooms any way they want but build the bed with a beautiful canopy, put the big screen in just the right spot and set up the perfect vanity for lots of fashion fun! When they’re done building and arranging the mansion, Barbie and Skipper can relax under the big umbrella on the patio, take a bubbly bath, or kick back for a super fun movie party. It has five interchangeable rooms to build and rebuild the most fabulous mansion and is easily combinable with other Mega Bloks Barbie playsets to build an entire Barbie world.
If the little girl in your life, loves Barbies and/or constructing buildings or just designing spaces, she will love the Build’n Play Mansion by Mega Bloks Barbie.
What is your daughter’s must have gift this holiday season?
I’m giving away one Mega Bloks Build’n Play Mansion. Contest is open to U.S. citizens. Giveaway ends December 7, 2014 at midnight.

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Disclosure: I was provided the Build ’n Play Fab Mansion by Mega Bloks Barbie™ for review purposes but all opinions are my own.
2014/11/24