My beautiful little sister came in town this past week to rescue me from my back who had taken it upon itself to vacate the premises. She is awesome like that. She dropped everything, hopped a train and resumed all of my regularly scheduled duties!God, how I love her for that. Her and I have always been very close, despite me being 5 years her elder. We have the best rapport. We also have the best conversations about everything under the sun. She’s my sister, so there’s a definite no holds barred quality to our time together. We are very much alike in most ways but we do differ on one thing…the TV that we watch. What I am saying is that I’m the Vampire Diaries, Grays Anatomy,Private practice type and she keeps MTV in business. So we were talking about TV the other day and she told me something about the Brett Micheals show that literally made my laugh my ass off. And I am thanking God for this conversation because without her unending knowledge of all things scandalous, I would have went my entire life without laughing this hard.
My sister recapped an episode in which Brett Michaels gave his “girlfriend”,Kristi Gibson, a promise ring. Just let that marinate for a moment or two. A FUCKING. PROMISE. RING!!! They have been together for 16 years with 2 children, who are 10 and 5. This means she has not only been his on again off again girlfriend the entire time he’s been doing his Rock of Love show but she was sleeping with him and having his children. And he gave her a fucking Promise ring! There were rumors that he had FINALLY proposed last July but he said “No” and called the ring a “Friendship ..with benefits” ring, basically what she had been to him all along. No one needed a fucking ring to know this. It’s like he was saying, Hey, you’re good but there might be something better out there for me. I’ve only fucked about 30 % of the 20 year old population, give me a little more time.I’ll get back to you! *This is not a direct quote but a loose interpretation of what Mr.Michaels may have been thinking:)
Isn’t a promise ring something a 13 year old gives his girlfriend ? I mean, even the Jonas brothers pony up an actual engagement ring and they are practically fetuses. If I were Kristi Gibson, I would probably have kicked Brett Michaels in his balls and snatched his do rag ( hair and all) off of his head. That was not only an insult it was injurious to her spirit…and he apparently did it in front of cameras. Plus, it was after he had already endured his whole health fiasco. So it was more desperate times desperate measures type of indulgence than a show of his true love for her. It was like a great big smack across the face that said..Maybe! When my sister told me of this reality TV flop, I couldn’t stop playing the whole train wreck in my mind. It was on repeat on an endless loop ( like those 80’s hairband love songs that I used to lull myself to sleep with when I was a wee teenie bopper myself…waiting for my own promise ring:)LOL How apropos.
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I guess sometime around Christmas, Brett Michaels made it official and actually proposed to Kristi. It was the season finale of his show Life as I know it , how convenient. What some people won’t do for ratings. It only took 16 years. I hope to God there was a new ring, something of the 10 carat variety to help squelch some of the embarrassment of giving a grown woman who’d endured the ring of fire ( not once but twice) for you. Myself, I still hope she , even though she said yes, kicked him in the balls and snatched the do rag off just for good measure. It would only be fitting. Because giving a grown ass woman who has stood by you for 16 years and had your children, is about as close to snatching a do rag and kicking a lady in the balls.
A.FUCKING.PROMISE.RING!!
* It has come to my attention that he did NOT give her a new ring, but used the same ring and has not set a date. Saying something to the effect that it may be the longest engagement in history. I’m pretty sure the only way she’s getting him down the aisle before they are 80 is if another health scare presents itself.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]
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