I’ve noticed that with Bella starting kindergarten, my life has devolved into hectic chaos stuck into one little box and I feel like we are bouncing off the walls within our caged existence.For example, we go to church at St. So and so, and we go to school at Saint So and so, too. We go to the city ballet and it happens to be downtown , located a few blocks from Saint so and so.You see where I am going with this. My world has just gotten exponentially smaller.I’m not sure if I like it or not. It’s quaint but it’s pretty much like shitting where you eat, n’est-ce pas?
This was never more obvious than when I ran into the local Stay at home Daddy. Now, I know its a rare breed but they do exist. I have proof.This particular Daddy happens to be the Daddy of my Bella’s favorite little friend in her kindergarten class, of the female pursuasion (Y’all remember Bill*? My friend Bill*, Do you know my friend Bill*, Bill*, Bill*, Bill*!), Nora*.Who also happens to be in the Nutcracker with her, as a snowflake, so we also get to see her at rehearsals and mass.Which means I get to see Stay at Home Daddy on a regular basis.
When I first met him, he seemed harmless enough. But he always has this Vaseline smile that looks as if he’s been throwing back Prozac like tactics and to be honest, now..he kind of frightens me. Plus I’m a little jealous, where’s my frigging Prozac? The first day I met him, he came right over. Which I found quite bizarre because it was before we realized the girls even knew one another.But he made a b line for me none the less, and I’m basically stuck having conversations with 5 and unders, 24/7 so any adult conversation was a welcome reprieve. Within the first 5 minutes, he had told me the names and ages of all three of his children (6,5,3, in case you were wondering), his name,why he was a stay at home dad, that he was a stay at home dad,where he was from, why he was here, where he lived, where his kids went to school, what his wife did and where she did it. Obviously, he has not read the Stay at Home Mommy handbook and doesn’t realize he is giving away way too much information.Jesus, I could have been some crazy baby snatcher and came and stolen his children.Hell, he practically gave me their address. I was blown away from all the information. I was on sensory overload and felt as if my personal space had been greatly invaded. At the same time, I felt a little sorry for him. I know how it feels to be surrounded by little people all day and wish you had an adult to bounce your sanity off of once in awhile. I know that I am guilty of a little verbal diarrhea myself. Whenever I get around other adults after being cooped up for prolonged periods of time with just Bella and Gabs, I lose all control of my good senses and my filter is completely off. So, I DO understand. Especially, when he told me that his wife is gone from 7 am until 9 pm and she sees the children maybe twice during the work week.I know how that feels.It sucks!
Then the following morning I saw him at Saint So and So drop off. He had that nervous grin and once again recited all of his facts like the Gettysburg address. Had he forgotten who I was since the previous night at rehearsal? Could it be that he is so scatter brained (mommy brain on crack) that he had forgotten so quickly? Once again he told me all of his stats and once again, he told me about his wife and how she abandons him all day long with the children.How he is responsible for everything! Everything! Can you imagine?I just stood there and shook my head in agreement.
The following week at ballet, once again he came up to me and started his spiel.I couldn’t take it again. I very politely shook my head and said ,”Yes, I know.” Him: “Oh yeah,you’re Bella’s mother” I’m thinking, Oh yeah Buddy, I’m on to you.Go peddle your snake oil somewhere else.I’ve already got all the information I need. Then I thought, oh shit, do I do that? Am I the crazy Stay at Home Mommy that people cringe when they see me coming because they know I am going to talk their ears right off their ever loving heads? Poor guy.Makes me wonder? Are men built for this Stay at Home gig? I’m not saying they can’t do it because I am sure they are capable.I am asking should they be doing it for their sanity’s sake? I mean us Mommies are the direct result of centuries of birthing/parenting evolution.You can’t just walk in off the streets and have these kinds of coping skills. This man seems really stretched beyond all of his capacities. Plus, all the “support” groups are for Mommies. There is no co-ed play groups or “mom” groups. It’s no wonder that he can’t shut up.He’s starved for attention and adult conversation.But I swear to God, if I have to hear about his hardest working wife one more time..I’m going to punch him square in the gullet.He should realize, since he’s home and half crazy from taking care of kids ( I use that term loosely, these poor children look like little ragamuffins but hey, His wife’s a professor) that being a
Stuck Stay at Home is pretty damn hard work too. Moral of the story, “A” for effort Mr.SAHD but maybe try and cut back on the verbal diarrhea and space invading.Happy Mothering, Mister.
Do you know any Stay at Home Dads? How do you think they fair compared to their female counterparts? Or are we all just equally insane from being cooped up for hours on end with the little people?