It’s Tuesday once again. Time for us to unload some of the things weighting us down in life. No judgment, just an ear to bend, a shoulder to cry on, and a helpful hand to help you up when you feel as if you have fallen in the proverbial crap of life. I missed last week, but I need to expunge today!
Let’s start by confessing that I am a miserable sick person. When I am sick, I just want to be left alone in a dark room to sleep it all away. Just let me sleep for a week straight with nothing but liquids pushed under the door to keep me alive. I know I’ve been cranky and grouchy with the girls.Hell,I even called my husband at work 3 states away to unleash my miserableness on him. Not my proudest moment. Sorry. I even bit my brothers head off, who is visiting and helping me with my girls this week. I am truly a wench!
I also would like to confess that it’s a little embarrassing walking around town with my little brother (who is 19) and my 2 girls because people are looking at us as if 1) he is my “boyfriend or husband” and I am a friggin cradle robber .Ewww, gross! Or 2) I am his Mother! Which is equally as EWWWW, because it makes me feel not only old but like I was promiscuous in my early teen years, to boot. Which I don’t really care about now except for how hard I worked to obtain that ‘Good Catholic girl’ image back then. The worst part is either way you slice it..it makes ME feel old!
Next, this list could go on for days this week, I am about to tear my hair out with all this crap I am having to do by myself. It is making me feel overwhelmed and like I can’t accomplish anything I start, like I am a loser! I know I usually bite off more than I can chew (its the nature of the beast) but I muddle through , spread myself as thin as possible, and I get it done. That’s me!It’s how I work. But this week, for some reason, I feel like a bumbling idiot who can’t get anything done. My husband is encouraging me to eliminate some of my extracurriculars with the girls, so I don’t have a meltdown. I get insulted that he thinks I can’t do it all. WTH is going on with me? He may be right, at least this week. I’ve worn myself, metaphorically, paper thin and one wrong pull may be the one that breaks me down.
Thank God for Truthful Tuesdays and wonderful friends.If it weren’t for your emails, phone calls, texts, comments and unconditional love and support…I’d have hit my breakdown threshold a long time ago!
husbands
Truthful Tuesdays, March 30,2010; Mommy Breakdown in Progress
It’s Valentine’s Day again. Seeing as my poor dear husband ends up on my Truthful Tuesday on occasion, I thought I should take this opportunity to exploit his perks as equally as I do his faults.So, honey, I’d like to say…
Thank you for being my husband for a decade, my boyfriend of 12 years, my best friend for a lifetime, my co-pilot on this crazy ride we call parenting for the past 5 years,my lover, my cheerleader, my shoulder, my comedian, my nurse, my doctor, my shrink (on occasion), my mechanic, my guy Friday,my chef, my coach,my conscience, my everything!
Thank you for loving me every single day and not just on Valentine’s day. Thanks for the million and one little gestures that show me that you love me. Thanks for looking me in the eye when we talk, thanks for allowing me the freedom and security to be myself (without judgment), thank you for listening, understanding, and caring in every way on every day!Thank you for saying just what I need to hear, at just the right time, even if I didn’t want to hear it. Thank you for holding my hair and holding my hand. Thank you for getting up in the middle of the night with sick babies, when I’ve been too exhausted to move.Thank you for telling me I’m beautiful when I’m full of pitocin and the baby wouldn’t drop. Thank you for your smile, your hugs, your kisses on my forehead when I’m sad.Thank you for my daughters. Thank you for your patience. Thank you for helping me survive and find solutions to the million little problems that seem to be a part of everyday life. Being happy and broke with you is better than being rich and unhappy with anyone else in the world. You are the man that I never knew that I always wanted.
When you walked me home that autumn night, long ago, I never would have thought that that would be the first day of my forever. We met as two naive,young college kids with endless possibilities in life but were both limited in our potential for happiness due to misguided decisions and misplaced trust in others.Before I met you, I never knew what true love was. Before you, it was me trying on my glass slipper. I tried a lot of those slippers on but none made me Cinderella. You came along and I was a princess. Suddenly,I was the most important, most beautiful, most intelligent, hottest, sweetest girl in the world….in your eyes.
I know I don’t say it enough, sometimes we just take for granted that someone who can finish our sentences can hear our thoughts, but you are my hero and my best friend. In your arms, I feel safe and loved.In your heart and with you always is where I belong.I love you! Thank you for loving me!
This morning got off to a rocky start,as you can see from my previous post. But it evolved into a magical evening anyway.Wayne eventually woke up from his sound slumber and realized that it was, in fact, Mother’s Day! He told me to take some time for myself and he would handle the girls. So, I made myself a drink and made my getaway. I headed downstairs to the movie room to finally watch “Twilight”, alone. I don’t think I’ve had the luxury of doing anything “alone” in at least 4 years. It started off nice, actually, quite fantastic.I could smell the delicious dinner that my husband was cooking, as it wafted downstairs through the vents.Turkey and cranberry ravioli and fresh panzanella salad, had become my favorite meal of all time. As I sat in the movie room, in the pitch black, sipping my cocktail, watching the adorably romantic teenage Dracula, my mind began to wander. Wander back to a time when I actually got to sit in complete and utter silence and peace and enjoy a movie in its entirety without someone screaming, or crying, shouting “M..o..m…m..y..Eat!” or asking me continuously for a play by play of what is happening in the movie. My children have an uncanny knack for wanting to converse at the times that necessitate quiet the most; church, movies, weddings, funerals, etc. But as background for the quiet, that I did so enjoy for about 45 minutes, I hear my girls running around and giggling upstairs and it hit me. I’d rather be upstairs with them, then downstairs without them; peace and quiet or not. I came back to reality, left the peace and quiet and came back upstairs, and was greeted by a barrage of hugs and kisses; followed by homemade cards created with love, and a sumptuous dinner made with just as much love. I’d say my Mother’s day was more awesome then I could have hoped for.
This morning, I was the first one to wake up. I decided if I wasn’t going to be able to sleep in, then I’d get up and make the most of the morning, alone. I got up and brushed my teeth, and decided to do a mud mask. About 1 minute into my “Me” morning, my youngest baby girl woke up ready for her day, “Mommy..eat!!”
“Ok, honey one sec. Mommy’s almost done ( putting on said mud mask)”.
She’s not having it. In her most persistent sing-songy voice..”M..o..m…m..y….EAT!” “OK, Ok. I am coming”. This is followed by my oldest waking up ( did I mention it’s 7:00 am, early for them). “Mom. Happy mother’s day!” ,”Awww, thanks, sweetie!” “What’s on your face? (with complete and utter disgust)”. As her baby sister, continuously screams…”M…O…M..M..Y, EAT!” She’s getting pissed! All the while, my husband is still sleeping soundly. Oh, I must have got my days crossed…I thought this was Mother’s day…not “Father’s day”! I hope this day gets better from here:)